20 Questions Tuesday: 436 - Tanya Vora

Okay, it has been quite the hiatus, but if I am going to pay for the domain, I should probably be posting to it, amiright? I am.

Anyway… Happy 2024 to everyone a bit late. Until I can get back in the swing of things, these might be published a little erratically and not necessarily on Tuesday’s. Hello Thursday, how you doing? Bear with me, I forgot how long these take to do and how tedious the formatting issues are.

What better way to start the blog back up than by interviewing a ex-work--colleague-who-has-always-made-me-smile?  

Today we get to see 20 questions with Tanya Vora. A few jobs ago, Tanya and I worked together in a UX department.  I was mainly focus on UX design, and she was a UX researcher.  We ended up working on a project with a research component that involved close to 20 90 minute interviews.  It was a bunch. Tanya has a dry sense of humor that I enjoy.  She is smart and charming and I am a better person for having known her.  We recently reconnected on the socials and I thought, “Who better to restart the blog up with than the delightful Tanya?”  And I was right, There is no one better to restart this bad-boy up with than Tanya. She is one of the best, and everyone should know her.

Without further ado, 20 Questions with Tanya.

In a previous life I was a cartographer/geographer and I have always loved the idea of people’s geographic story.  For example (I have not had to write this for over a year now) my geographic story goes thusly… I was born as an air force brat at an Air Force base just outside of Oklahoma City. My dad was transferred to one of the many Air Force Bases in Montgomery, Alabama and then the family moved up to Birmingham, Alabama when he got out of the Air Force.  I lived in the BIrmingham area until I went off to college at Kent State University.  I followed my then fiance and now ex-wife to grad school in Columbus, Ohio, where I have lived since.  

Question 1:  What is your geographic story? 

First off, thanks for the kind words. I’ll be using the paragraph above as daily motivational affirmations. Loved working together and getting to know ya!

My story begins before I was born. My parents emmigrated from India and came to the US in the 80’s. It was because of their big leap that I’m here today…in Ohio. Some members of my Dad’s family went to New Zealand, in a city that’s 70 degrees for most of the year and has multiple forms of reliable public transportation. But I’m not complaining…today.

I was raised in Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio and then moved to Columbus to attend tOSU when I was 18. I’ve since been living in Columbus with my partner James and two cats, Rou and Namiko. I’d like to move out of Ohio one day, but in due time. It’s affordable here and I’ve built a supportive and caring community. I’m building a couple businesses at the moment and want to save up before finally making the big move.

I would have lost money betting that you had lived in more places than just the 2 Ohio cities.   You seem so much more cosmopolitan than just having been in the midwest.  I would imagine that being 1st gen immigrant family adds to the cosmopolitaness… cosmopolinaity… So, Question 2: Do you get the opportunity to travel much then? Where is the most interesting place you have been?

Well they do say that Cuyahoga Falls is the Paris, France of the US. 

I love traveling! The escapism and food - big fan. My parents liked to take us on trips while growing up. Some trips included: several summer road trips to visit my cousins in New Jersey, visits to India to see family, & Disney World. 

These days it depends on if I can find the time and money. Owning two businesses makes this challenging. I’d like to also mention that I’ve been incredibly privileged to have been able to travel as much as I have throughout my life.

The most interesting place I’ve been to was Bolivia. When I was a freshman at OSU I was a part of the International Affairs Scholars program. This meant that we had the opportunity to take a course about Bolivian history and then visit the country at the end of the semester (back when there were semesters). We went to Santa Cruz, Cochabamba, Isla del Sol, and La Paz. It’s a beautiful country that has so much to offer in each city. It was an incredibly unique experience, considering we took a class taught by two professors of Bolivian heritage who also joined us on the trip.

That sounds absolutely amazing. I need to travel more than I have recently. I would love to cross an ocean again soon. 

Here comes the hard question. Question 3: Cake or pie? Which specific one and why? 

CAKE. Belle’s Bread near Tensuke Market. The strawberry and matcha flavors. It’s the most fluffy, airy, beautiful, gorgeous cake that I’ve ever had. We get it every year for my birthday. 

I have never had that cake (editors note, I will link to it). It sounds delightful. 

I do have to say that your cake response is a little tame. Previous people I have talked to or done official 20 Questions Tuesday who have picked cake tend to be more rabid about it.  

This is completely anecdata but pie people tend to say something to the effect of “I like pie, and would love to eat some pie, thank you very much.” Whereas cake people tend to be “I will murder your family and kick a puppy in the rain to get the cake that I deserve. You cannot keep me from my frosting delivery system, I will end you.” 

Question 4: Were you merely being polite concerning you desire for cake, and, in truth, you are a rage filled frosting monster? The world wants to know.

Haha it may be that I don’t love foods that are sweet very much! I’m very selective with the sweet dishes I will eat, but I’m a savory breakfast person FWIW. I hope this logic resonates with someone lol I often think about what dish I would eat during my last day on Earth and sweets aren’t in the top 10 or 20 of my list. 

So, that leads nicely into Question 5: if you could have dinner with any 5 people in the world who have ever lived, what food would you serve for that dinner? 

1. Anthony Bourdain (RIP, still sad about this one)

2. Ziwe 

3. Tamar the Great of Georgia 

4. James Baldwin

5. Aristotle OR Stevie Nicks, I’m torn between these two

I've chosen these people under the assumption that they would be honest when answering questions I ask them. Very interested in learning about the Fleetwood Mac drama in that case.

Ok to answer your question: a universally beloved dish that I make is a vegan dal makhani (recipe by Nisha Vora of Rainbow Plantlife, ) 

This would be served with basmati rice and naan. It meets most dietary restrictions and is filling! For dessert we’ll have the strawberry cake from Belle’s Bread, decaf coffee, and baklava. 

The dal looks amazing. I think I would tear that to pieces. The issue I have with making Indian food from scratch at home is how many ingredients and spices it takes to get the flavor profile just right, and just how long it takes to cook things properly. Looking at that video, it looks like a solid 36 hours of process from the soaking to the slow simmering. The results are clearly amazing, but… Everest Cuisine is just around the corner and has Chicken Pokara ready to eat in 15 minutes… 

I would suggest Stevie Nicks over Aristotle just because I think Aristotle would be up his own ass too much. 

I know that you are starting to put together a stand-up career. Question 6: What drew you to the art of stand up? 

I think there were several motivating factors. The first being that I enjoy finding humor in life. All of this is made up, why not laugh while we’re doing mundane tasks?

The other factor has a bit of a longer explanation. I started participating in business pitch competitions (Startup Weekend and GiveBackHack) around 2017. Essentially, you pitch your business idea in front of 100+ people the first night on Friday, build a team with other attendees, work together to validate the problem and build a deck on Saturday, then pitch the business to investors on Sunday. This process of speaking to a crowd with a mic and leading a team helped me realize that I could potentially do comedy one day.

I since then have been writing observations and notes in my Notes app on my iPhone, in hopes of creating my tight-five at some point. I’ve been keeping these entries for years now! 

In February of this year, I asked a local comedian for advice on how to start comedy. I took his advice and began refining my notes into jokes, and then I finally worked up the courage to perform my first set in July. Quite a lengthy process!

I never thought that shark tank style pitches would lead to stand-up, but it makes sense. 

First time I did stand up was in 5th grade.  It was a partner act with my friend Patrick.  He was the straight man of a typical kind of set-up/punch format. It was a lot of fun.  Patrick didn’t take to the Center Point Elementary fame though and retired that year to focus on his studies.  I kept the torch alive for another year and came out with a tight 7 to nab a honorable mention (4th place in the show… just off the podium, gottdamnit) in the Talent Show as a 6th Grader,  The kid who won, did the same winning dance routine from the year before (He really did this amazing dance to Midnight Star’s “Freakazoid”), I know one of the other top three sang “The Rose” like 4 other people in the show, and I forget that other act that placed.  That is the extent of my stand-up career.  Later that year I retired from stand-up because the talent show system was rigged (the guy who danced to Freakazoid won the following year as well [he was a year behind me] by dancing to Freakazoid again. Rigged. It was an amazing dance routine though.), and there wasn’t a talent show in middle school, because middle school sucks. 

We all know who the big names in stand-up are. The Seinfeld’s Patton’s, Gaffigan’s, Chapelle’s (not without controversy, I haven’t watched his last few,) but Question 7:  Who is a comedian from a tier or 2 below those mega stand-up stars that really gets you giggling and what is a bit of theirs that you love?  

Come out of retirement, I think you’d be great! 

I’ve loved watching a couple comedians throughout their comedy careers. I’ve outlined what I like most about them:

1. Nate Bergatze

1. He’s an “Everyman comic”, he “muses about a life that could happen to any suburban 20-, then 30-something”

2. What intrigues me about him is that he made it big while being a clean comic, meaning he doesn’t swear or joke about vulgar topics. He’s so funny that you don’t even realize that he is strategic about keeping his jokes clean. 

3. I love hearing his stories about what it was like growing up with a dad who was a magician.

2. Quinta Brunson

1. I’ve been following Quinta since her Buzzfeed days. I feel like I’m watching a friend reach their goals, as she’s now producing the successful sitcom, Abbott Elementary, about a show that follows the staff at a struggling, underfunded Philadelphia school.

2. I don’t have any comedic bits of hers that standout from her standup days, but I still think about an interview that she did with Jimmy Kimmel about why she thinks the comedy in Abbott is so successful:

1. “I think the more specific you go with the city, the better. The inclination…is that you want to go broader on network TV, but what I’ve learned from comedies is that the more specific you go the more universal you go…Anyone can relate it [Philadelphia] to their own home town”

3. I think about this quote when writing jokes about my life as the daughter of two Indian immigrants, for audiences that couldn’t be anymore different than me.

3. Ali Wong

1. Ali Wong once told Seth Meyers that she used to do 13 sets a night in NYC, which logistically sounds like a nightmare. Her work ethic is admirable, and I’m happy to see a female comic up there with all the dudes, and an Asian comic at that!!

2. Her bit about having Asian immigrant parents hits close to home ha

No notes. Great picks. Question 8: How do you perceive the comedy scene in Columbus? What is good? What is bad? How does it match up with other nearby places? 

I haven’t explored comedy in other cities, so the following is just from my perspective in Columbus, which I’ve been pleasantly surprised by! I had assumed that it would be competitive and unkind to new comers, but it’s been anything but! Seasoned comedians have been helpful anytime I ask questions about comedy or the industry.

We’re lucky to have open mics every night in the city, which is different than how things were just a couple years ago. Don’t Tell Columbus and The Attic bring in national and local comedians every week. The scene is hot, it’s been exciting to be a part of it!

In terms of negative aspects, I think like most industries, it’s male dominated. So jokes that women write and deliver based on their lived experiences don’t always land at open mics where 90% of the people in the room are men waiting for their turn to perform. 

Networking is important in comedy, so sometimes there are cliques of comedians that mostly promote those from their friendgroups. I assume this is true in any comedy scene, though. I know I’ve been guilty of this too, as I haven’t met everyone in the scene due to being new.

One last thing - I think like most art forms, the amount of time attributed to building a career in comedy rarely pays off. So much time is involved with writing and performing material at open mics and shows, only for the end product (shows) to pay comedians inadequately. I don’t blame any organizers for this dilemma - I believe this is an industry wide issue, and I’m not sure how to solve it. It feels daunting to think about the years necessary to build a comedy career in hopes of potentially making a living in this industry, which is incredibly rare (think actor statistics - 1% make it to a point where they’re professional, touring comedians that MIGHT make $50k a year.)

The scene seems much livelier than what I knew of it not that long ago. I was much more plugged into the comings and goings of comedians in Columbus about 10 years ago.I LOVE comedy and have wanted to get back into it again, and potentially get up and tell some stories. Making the time to do it is just as daunting as getting a set together.  I should probably just get going to open mics and consume for a bit before even thinking of stepping up. 

Let’s take this a slightly different direction.  I also know, since we were co-workers, that your professional life (at least part of it) revolves around User Experience Design. Question 9: No one grows up saying “I want to be a User Experience Designer!”... so what was your path to UX?

In college I studied Communication Technology with a subspecialization in Human Computer Interaction. All this meant was that I had one class in college that taught me about UX design and research. I loved learning that there was a wholde industry dedicated to understanding how people navigate and use everyday experiences.  

That class stuck with me after graduation, so I tried to obtain a UX job out the gates. I unfortunately didn’t have the experience or portfolio to pursue UX, so I instead taught myself to code HTML and CSS and landed a Web content Developer position at Abercrombie & Fitch’s headquarters in New Albany. 

After 6 months, I decided to introduce my self to the UX team at Abercrombie during a happy hour. I told them I wanted to be on their team, so I shadowed them for a couple months then fully transitioned to their team as a UX researcher. I’ve since been a UX researcher and now consider myself more of a UX strategist! There was a year or two in my career where I was a UX designer, but I learned immediately that I didn’t enjoy that role. I love how objective research is; it’s hard to argue our findings during a presentation with stakeholders, when it's founded in data.

HCI is pretty much UX. I am surprised that people did not see that as translatable. I loved working with you in your research role when we were coworkers. Always insightful and very incisive with your research designs and implementation. You truly are a joy to watch, especially when you are oblivious to the research participants clearly hitting on you. On a side note: we are going to need to have a conversation over beverages about transitioning to UX Strategist. I really want that, I am tired of being reactive in my career… I would love to strategize. 

Question 10: please fill in the blanks (feel free to ask others for input in the second blank) : I find that I am mostly __________. Others find that I am mostly ____________. 

I find that I am mostly impatient

Others (my partner James) finds that I am mostly empathetic, creative, & entrepreneurial

Hey! Wait!  That's three things, James. Stop with the overachieving. Overachieving James, amiright? 

“Impatient” doesn't completely preclude “empathetic, creative, & entrepreneurial…” buuuuut… Question 11: how do you feel those two answers mesh up? Are they sides of the same coin? Or do you feel that that yours or his perception of you rings more authentic? 

I think that being impatient explains my behaviors and entrepreneurial pursuits quite well! Long story short, my parents only praised success so now my siblings and I are perfectionists. We want to do it right and we want to do it well, which means we are more apt to give up on something if we’re not immediately good at it or happy with it. This explains why I’ve quit many a hobbies throughout the years 😅

In terms of my professional life, I’ve bounced around to different UX teams throughout the years because I was unhappy with the team/environment/work. Founding businesses has allowed me the freedom and control to create things within my skillsets. So I see that both of our perceptions are accurate through this lens. 

There is definitely a connection between the different responses. Looking at impatient vs empathetic, creative, and entrepreneurial isn't an either or. It feels like different sides of the same coin to me as well. 

Question 12: More often than not, would you consider yourself to be happy?

I think so! A number of privileges allow me to be generally happy. 2019 was rough while trying to tackle a full time job and Spice Up. Shout out to Zoloft, which I recently was allowed to stop taking this year! 

That is great. Most people I have interviewed have been generally happy. There have been a couple who recognized their unhappiness due to the question being asked, and there was one  I think realized their unhappiness weeks later. I am a change maker. 

So Question 13: Do you have any superstitions or rituals in your life? 

Don’t tell Big Pharma! They might recruit you 

I don’t know how to answer these questions without a backstory or lengthy explanation lol Let me try bullet points:

• Was raised religious - my family practiced Jainism. When I turned 18, my siblings and I decided that we no longer want to practice and we have since considered ourselves atheists. 

• For years I was a real asshole about denouncing anything that wasn’t rooted in science. Now as an adult, I realize that unexplainable observations can still be categorized as science - we just don’t know the why!

• I want to believe in ghosts because of the vast amount of anecdotal evidence out there (I.e. we all know someone who has a ghost story)

• I knock on wood all the time in order to avoid “tempting fate”

• My top three zodiac signs are very scarily accurate to who I am

These are all amazing. Ghostly anecdata is pretty interesting, and weirdly explained very well by simulation theory.  THAT is a conversation that should occur over beverages.

Question 14: Any other supernatural things you would love to be true?

Um, all of it. Krampus, cryptids, magic, ghosts. I love all things horror, but now that I’m thinking it through, I change my mind - certain horror movie monsters should not exist. Like the lady from The Ring can stay where she is. 

Yeah, Samara Morgan can suck it… creepy well-girl. Stay in your fetid waters… drippy weirdo.  The one I want to be real the most is Bigfoot/Yeti/Sasquatch/Skunk Ape/Amok etc… that one really feels like it would be amazing.  That being said, I do not want the weirdo interdimensional creature bigfoot or the UFO alien bigfoot.  I want the everyday, go as you please, “I’m a big hairy ape” bigfoot.  The overly woooo-woooo crypto-zoology stuff just does not work for me. If all y’all haven’t listened to “Wild Thing” a podcast about bigfoot (at least the first season is), you should.

We are on the downward slope of this Q and A Adventure, Just going to check in and make sure I won’t miss anything you wanted to be asked. Question 15: Is there any question I have not asked you that you either expected to be asked or would like to have been asked? We still have some q’s to rectify that deficiency if we need.

The day the government releases documentation that proves that Bigfoot is in fact real will be a great day

None that come to mind! Thanks for the great questions and conversations thus far!

Awesome.  I think this has been going well so far, but I do want to make sure expectations are met.  Question 16: Which do you think would have a bigger immediate impact on society, Disclosure of bigfoot being real and critical nature shows being presented on Nat Geo and Discovery or an engagement announcement of Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift?

Heeeyyy would you give a male interviewee the Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce option as well? 😆 

I am not a Swiftie, but even if I was I would still choose Bigfoot disclosure because I think 99% of all celebrity relationships are for PR. I’m not sure what the impact would be other than paparazzi making bank. 

Bigfoot being real would just open the floodgates for more research and funding into finding other cryptids globally, which is objectively way cooler. It might also immediately cause mass hysteria. 

Most definitely, I would ask, if not this exact question, a similar one to anybody I was talking to. Tay and Travis are really the IT people in the cultural zeitgeist right now.  If I were asking this a year ago it might have been bigfoot v Megan and Harry doing something. The reason I asked you this question is because of how I thought a local newscast would set up the bigfoot story.

Ted: Mary, you know who is really excited about this Tayravis Engagement?

Mary: No, Ted.  Who ?

Ted: Bigfoot.  Bigfoot has come out of hiding to get see what’s going on with Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce. Scientists say that sasquatch or Bigfoot as he is called …..

I chose the soft ball cultural zeitgeist idea because I wanted to keep this 20 Q’s relatively light so I avoided big news items like conflicts or political turmoil… I’m looking bat you Israel and Russia. 

Let’s stick with the supernatural.  Question 17: What is the most credible supernatural thing that you have experienced or have heard directly from someone? No “a friend or a friend said her neighbor saw a…” stories.

I recorded an episode on my podcast Fangirl Feels about this very topic. Two friends and I recorded our encounters with the supernatural. My experience was hearing what I believed to be my grandfather on the day of his cremation. 

That episode can be found here.

That is intense. You bet I will listen to that podcast.

Now it is time for me to turn the tables. Question 18: What question do you have for me? 

Would you rather have a time machine that can only go to the past or a teleporter that can only go to fictional universes?

That is a fun question. The past is horrible and I am not sure that I would like to be part of that horribleness only as older and wiser. Imma choose the teleporter. 

Question 19: What are you taking from these 20 Questions that you did not bring in with you? 

Yes but WHICH fictional universe are you going to? I’m going to the world of Avatar the Last Airbender. 

I think these questions made me realize that I’ve been living a full life. It’s hard to see the forest for the trees when you’re bogged down with the day to day and trying to get by. But looking back at these questions, I think my experiences have led me to lead an interesting and somewhat meaningful life! So thank you for including me in this.

This is partly why I do this. It is great to see someone take stock of where they are at the moment. That is why the “Are you happy” question isn’t asked until the second half of the questions.  This has been an absolute joy for me as well. 

As far as where I would teleport… Not to the Warhammer 40K universe, maybe to Star Wars, I am not a brony but if I had to teleport to a fictional universe, My Little Pony might not be a bad one. It did not seem super dangerous. Most fictional universes are built on the idea of conflict to create good narrative structures, so most of what we see from those settings are the conflict portions.  I think I might want to teleport to the Earth of the Expanse.  It is not perfect, but good enough and on planet, it seems similarly safe to what life is today.  The danger comes from stepping off planet, and you don’t have to do that.

Question 20: What’s next? Be as concrete or nebulous, as short-term or long-term, and as philosophical or practical as you would like. 

Hoping to keep:

• Landing comedy gigs (follow along on YouTube, IG, and Threads @totalllytanya)

• Helping clients with UX design and research needs through Arcanalabs.co

• being silly as we about books, tv shows, and movies on Fangirl Feels Pod

• Planning events and posting food related content for Spice Up (@spiceupeats on YouTube, IG, and FB)

Speaking of, we’re hosting a Spice Up event on February 22nd with James Beard nominated Chef, Avishar Barua at Agni. Get your tickets

Well this was amazing. I do feel like I know you much better now. I promise that I will try to get out and see your stand-up set soon.

So follow Tanya on all the socials you can.  She is a great follow. Columbus people, look out for Tanya, she is awesome.

To recap:

• Tonya is amazing

• She always brings a smile to my face

• I know it has been a while since I posted

• It has been a crazy couple years

• Deal with it

• Many things have changed since the last post in May of 2022

• I have remarried

• I am very happy

• My ex got re-married

• She is very happy

• My wife and my ex’s husband are both very happy

• Everyone is pretty darn happy

• Except for my existence in the employment space

• Going on my 6th month unemployed now

• Job market is crazy weird right now

• I have applied for over 500 positions 

• Gotten thanks but no thanks emails for about 70

• 71, just got one a minute ago

• I’m not putting anyone on blast, but I have had about 20 recruiters (internal HR reps or external staffing recruiters) ghost me after contacting me

• They contact, I respond, they fall off the face of the earth

• Jobs applications that seem like they are tailor made for me go nowhere

• Par example (for my Quebecois readers) I have a MA in geography (with accompanying 20 year career) and a MS in User Experience Design (with a commiserate 8 year career) and did not get a call back for a GIS position focused on UX

• Nothing

• Rien

• Nada

• With all the tech layoffs going on I know I am in a pool with tons of applicants

• It has been extremely depressing

• Oh, well

• If you aren’t creating, you are waiting, so let’s get this blog moving again

• Send me a message or leave a comment if you want me to ask you 20 Questions

• Have a great week everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 393 - Chris Mancini

This week I get the opportunity to ask one of the hosts of one of my favorite podcasts 20 Questions.  Chris Mancini is a comedian/podcaster/director/author who I have followed for years now.  He is the co-host of the Comedy Film Nerds podcast wherein he and the other host, comedian Graham Elwood and a guest talk about movies in the theaters, trailers of upcoming movies, and movies that are on-demand and coming out on DVD.  Chris is one of the creators of the podcasting documentary Ear Buds, he is writing a graphic novel I backed on Kickstarter, and really is a nuanced critic of movies.  So, I know he is very knowledgeable of movies, is constantly creating, and is a dad, but that is about all I know of him.  So, let's get to know him better through these 20 Questions.

In a previous job, I was a cartographer.  I love maps and mapmaking and the idea of stories being told with the concepts place.  Specifically I love people's personal geographic stories.  For example, I was born outside of Oklahoma City, OK, moved to the Birmingham area in Alabama and stayed there until I went off to school in Kent, Ohio.  I graduated from Kent State and followed my soon to be wife down to Columbus, Ohio for grad school and have lived in the greater Columbus area for over 20 years now.  Question 1:  What is your geographic story?  

I was born in Havertown, PA and then moved to West Chester PA in 4th grade. I then moved to Philadelphia to go to college for Film and start my stand-up career. I graduated from Temple University with a degree in communications. I then moved to LA in my mid-twenties and have been banging my head against the entertainment industry ever since.

Pretty much a Pennsylvania to LA track.  That is pretty direct and compact.  I know that you are a stand up, so I am sure you have been to most (if not all) the states in the US.  Question 2: Any states left of the 50 that you have not been to?

Yes, I’ve never been to Alaska or Maine. The northern extremes. And really want to get to both at some point.

This summer may family took a trip to Alaska, and my mother-in-law's favorite place ever is Maine.  Both are wonderful places.

Now to my Question 3 which is a directly stolen idea from a classic Paul F Tompkins bit. Question 3: Cake or pie? Which specific kind and why?

I’ve always loved peach pie with vanilla ice cream. It has fruit in it so I can pretend I’m eating something healthy.

Peach Pie on a pretty white plate

Peach pie is a super Georgia thing.  Rarely have I encountered someone who loves peach pie who has not spent some time in the Peach State.

Question 4: Where and how did you come into contact with a peach pie a la mode?

When traveling down south, of course.

I did walk right into that one.  

Question 5: Is there a movie genre you cannot help yourself from watching even if you know the particular movie you are about to watch is going to be terrible?

Unfortunately, Action. The state of action movies could be a LOT better than it is. We have Fast and Furious, but they are tongue-in-cheek. We need more Mad Max, less Transformers.

Mad Max: Fury Road was really something impressive. 

Mad Max movie one sheet.

Question 6: Do you think the paucity of quality action movies is due to lack of people able to write action well, lack of directors being able to direct action well, or that the studios don't understand action movies?

I think it’s a combination of all those things. When there is a little success on an action movie, the studios milk it to death, like the Bourne franchise. And even those early ones the action was mostly hidden with quick cuts and closeups. It was infuriating when you have an action movie and you can’t see the action.

That is one reason why I think John Wick (for better analysis of John Wick and John Wick: Chapter 2 watch the Movies with Mikey reviews by Mikey Neumann) was such a nice breath of fresh air.  The action is mainly in frame and not sped up, and super practical. I agree that, I think that the studios rely way too much established properties (re: Bourne).  I guess, the insane levels of risk aversion is a pretty significant deterrent for the studios.  

So, you have written a book, are writing a graphic novel, made short films, made a documentary, do stand-up, podcast about movies and produce/edit a movie themed website... Question 7: Any kind of content creation that you haven't done that you want to try your hand at? and of these things listed, which is the one you find most comfortable?

Writing has and always will be my first love. I’d like to just be doing more of that. And of all the writing, I love writing scripts the most. I’m finding writing the graphic novel very rewarding because it’s a screenplay come to life as I’m converting it. I’d just like to do more comic, film, and television writing. Although I am launching a new scripted anthology podcast soon called “Conversations From the Abyss” that I’m VERY excited about. I’m hoping to get it launched in the next month or so. Listeners of Welcome to Night Vale and The Thrilling Adventure Hour will recognize some familiar voices.

"Conversations From the Abyss" sounds like it could be really fun. (Editor’s Note: It is a great bite-size podcast. It has the perfect amount of creepiness, everyone should listen to it. I have enjoyed each episode more) 

Conversations from the Abyss

I did a NaNoWriMo a few years back about a c-list superhero and some of the shenanigans he got himself into.  This November I want to refine that story and clean it up. There are so many things that need edited and fleshed out.  I have been mulling over how it is put together for some time and feel that I am far enough away from the writing exercise to give it some strong editing. I might try and self-pub this and sell at Cons of something. All this to say that writing certainly has some real allure.

Question 8: What is the hardest aspect of writing that you encounter?

Lately it’s been finding the time to sit down and do it. I have too many plates spinning in the air and need to let a few go so I have more time to write.

Interestingly, for the people I have interviewed who are writers, but are not solely employed as writers, this is the answer I always get back.  Time seems to be the limiting factor between creative expression, work/life balance, family etc... 

If we only had more time there would be significantly more creative endeavors going on out there.  

Question 9: What about writing do you find to be the most rewarding? 

The most rewarding thing about writing is when it gets out into the world and is actually read or seen, depending on if it was a book or a script. One of the most satisfying things I’ve done recently is take an old screenplay (Long Ago and Far Away) that got some traction in Hollywood but ultimately never got made and turn it into a graphic novel which is being worked on right now. I can’t wait for people to read it.

Oh, I am quite aware of "Long Ago and Far Away."  That is one of the 36 Kickstarters that I have backed and been funded.  I am 36 for 36 on Kickstarters.  I'm less a Kickstarter backer and more of a Kickstarter fairy.  I back a project... it gets funded. Boom.  In all truthfulness, I love the concept for the story of "Long Ago and Far Away," and I cannot wait to read it.  

Question 10: Fill in the blanks: I find that I am mostly _____. Others find that I am mostly _____. 

1)Stretched too thin.

2)Busy. I know they go hand in hand, but I’d like to get to a place where I’m busy but not struggling to keep up with everything.

"Pleasantly busy" is a laudable goal.  It is also a very fine line to hit. I am sorry that you feel stretched too thin, because that is a hard space to be in.

Question 11: What is one small thing that you would like to add or change in your life that would help with the "stretched too thin" feeling? 

Getting an assistant. 

Attainable goal.  Seriously attainable if you are willing to work with a remote assistant.

Deceptively simple question... Question 12: Overall, are you happy?

Yes. But I’d be happier if I had an assistant.

Again, attainable goal.  More happiness may be just around the corner. Your assistant could put it in your calendar.

Here we are at the "unlucky 13," so... Question 13: Do you have any superstitions or rituals in your life?

When I write and get into the zone, I always put music on. It helps me concentrate.

I think, more than any other profession I have interviewed, writing is the most ritualistic, but really cerebrally ritualistic. The rituals seem to be associated with setting the stage and getting a proper environment. For example, one of the other comic book writers I interviewed cannot start writing until he's done a crossword puzzle.

Music while writing makes sense on a very deep level. Question 14: Does the music choice when writing influence the writing, or does the writing influence the music choice?

I often listen to Coldplay when writing comedy and Death Cab for Cutie when writing horror. They just seem to be good soundtracks for what I'm writing.

That is very interesting. I would not think that Chris Martin would lead one to comedic insights. Death Cab for Cutie makes sense on some level, but the Coldplay reveal is interesting to say the least.

Coldplay's "Yellow" off of A Head Full of Dreams... it's Hilarious

It seems that comedy tends to rely on an set-up with an unexpected reveal, whereas horror seems to be about the suspenseful build-up and reveal. This is my understanding, but my understanding could be completely flawed. Question 15: What do you like about writing comedy and what do you like about writing horror? 

They are two sides of the same coin. Both evoke an emotional response, via setup and payoff, albiet opposites: Joy or Fear. Comedy, Horror, and Parenting are all more closely related than people think.

I have often felt that comedy and horror are a razor thin line away from each other... at least in movies... It is very easy to have a horror transition into comedy.  Bad horror movies sometimes end up being hilarious.  Bad comedies can simply be horrendous, but necessarily scary.

Question 16: Is there a question or a topic you were expecting me to ask that I have not?

No. I’ve learned to “manage my expectations”.

That seems a little bitey with the quotes and all.  Ouch.
The good news is that we are on the home stretch, and even though we are not done, I want to thank you for lasting this long.  Some people do not.

Question 17: If you were to make a straight up action movie, what action movie trope would you want to try and flip?

Ha. More about “managing my expectations” for the entertainment industry in general rather than this interview. If I were making an action movie, I would flip the “ex navy seal” trope and make it an ordinary guy, and make an action version of “Falling Down”.

I would watch that.

Now, I am nervous because it is time for me to flip the roles.  Question 18: Are there any questions that you would like to ask me?

What’s your favorite animated movie and why?

This is a difficult one... so I will give you a few, and maybe in my reasoning I will land on one.

Fire and Ice by Bakshi... my absolute favorite as a kid.  It is gorgeous, but due to the rotoscoping and, let's say, the not quite timeless material, I don't think it holds up that well.

Batman: Mask of the Phantasm... quite possibly one of the best Batman stories I have ever seen in a theater. It is almost forgotten, but it was a great capstone to the 90's animated series. 

Inside Out... is a great and nuanced story that is told in a very delightful and inventive way.  That movie is Pixar hitting on all cylinders.  

I know I am omitting a bunch of other really amazing animated movies, but those are the three I fall back on.

Question 19:  What are you taking from these 20 Questions that you did not come in with?

That it's actually fun to be interviewed piecemeal.

I have found that this process is very interesting due to the amount of time the "interview" spans.  People are sometimes in radically different places in their lives from beginning to end. For one interview I was doing, the person went from being a young married guy to being an expectant father... His tone of his answers at the end of the 20 questions were very different than when he began.  It is an interesting process.

Here we go with the final question.  Question 20: What's next? Be as vague or as specific, as concrete or philosophical, and as near term or long term as you would like.

I’m not sure what’s next but here’s what I want it to be, no matter what it is: New, Fun, and successful.

Thanks so much! This was a fun one.  Everyone should follow Chris.  He has his Comedy Film Nerds and Conversations from the Abyss podcasts.  He has his book, "Pacify Me: A Handbook for the Freaked Out New Dad," that you can buy. He is in the process of fulfilling a graphic novel on Kickstarter (which I imagine will be available for purchase somewhere eventually), called Long Ago and Far Away.  He has his documentary, “Ear Buds: The Podcasting Documentary” for sale and rent on all digital platforms now as well (it is a surprisingly poignant documentary that everyone who consumes anything on the internet anywhere should watch.)  

Seriously, everyone should give consume some of the amazing content that Chris is making and  give him a follow on Twitter and  FaceBook.

To recap:
I should have formatted this post much earlier today
I’m hungry
Like REALLY HUNGRY
Not like for human flesh or anything, but hungry enough
I might not have had a significant lunch
If “significant lunch” is defined as “more than a bag of chips”
That could be an issue
I am planning on heading to Cincinnati Comic Expo this weekend
I will be hanging out with Bill Grapes
It will be awesome
I might be able to pick up some commissions whilst there
Commissions could be nice
As long as it is not another Plastic-Man v Godzilla
That was hard to do just because of the scale difference
I am in the middle of another 20 Questions interview, but I think this one will take a full year to get done (it might  already be a year+)
Just checked, we are on month 13 of the interview
He spends extensive amounts of time away from computers
Anyone else want to do a 20 Questions?
Hit me up
Have a great week

20 Questions Tuesday: 375 - Laura House

This week I get the extreme pleasure of asking Laura House 20 questions.  I became away if the delightful Ms House because of a myriad of podcasts she has been a guest on. I have heard her on Never Not Funny, Comedy Film Nerds, and most recently, FOFOP.  She. Is. A. Delight.

I know a few things about her from these guest appearances, but most of all I know she is dead funny and has one of the best laughs ever.  Let's all get to know her better now. Onto the Questions.

I started out my professional life as a cartographer, and one of the things I have always enjoyed is people’s personal geographic stories.  For example, I was born outside of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.  The family moved to Montgomery, Alabama when I turned 3.  A few years later we moved just to the northeast of Birmingham, Alabama where I lived until going off the college.  I went to college 12 hours drive away from home at Kent State University in Northeast Ohio.  There I met my wife and we settled in Columbus, Ohio smack dab in the center of Ohio.  We have been in the Columbus area for the last 19 years.  Question 1: What is your geographic story? 

I love this question. I was born in Dallas, Texas, the actual city. At birth I was put up for adoption, so my parents were in Corpus Christie, a beach town, when I was born. They didn't even know I existed until I was a month old because I had the flu or something and so I lived with social workers as a sick orphan the first month of my life. Then my parents got me and took me to Grand Prairie, a suburb of Dallas, right between Dallas and Ft. Worth. At 16 I was a foreign exchange student. I lived in Sarpsborg, Norway on Hannestadfjellet Street. I was told the word meant something like "Rooster Mountain." It was south of Oslo on the east side of the Oslo Fjord, maybe 10 or so miles from Sweden. I lived there a year. Then was back to Grand Prairie for my senior year of high school. Then I went to UT Austin. After college, I stayed in Austin for a few years, then moved to LA. A year or two into living in LA, I got a great job and in San Francisco and lived there for a year. I moved back to LA and have lived here ever since. My mom has passed, but my Dad still lives in Grand Prairie. They moved once because a new highway went through our old house. My brother lives in Dallas about 40 min drive from Dad.

Oddly enough you are not the only person I have done a 20 Questions with who had a brief stint in Norway and lived in Austin (he still does).  Interesting. My family growing up hosted a girl from Norway.  Everyone's connected to Norway some how.  

I can only guess that your school did not offer Norsk as a language.  Question 2: was it difficult to go for a year into a school where you did not speak their primary language? And by the end of that time could you speak Norwegian?

It was hard sometimes, when I felt lonely and didn't know where to fit in. But I was a teenager - I felt that anyway. I loved the adventure. I loved meeting new people. I loved the family I lived with. Overall it was way more good than hard. And yes, I became fluent in Norwegian. I could also understand Swedish, Danish and German.

I knew that Norwegian and Swedish were super close, but was not aware that Danish and German were that close.  

Now it is time for my typical question 3 that I have stolen blindly from the unparrallelable (better than incomparable) Paul F Tompkins, and then added just a touch to make it a longer question. Question 3: Cake or Pie? Which kind specifically and why?

PIE!!!
Cake is essentially oversweetened bread. It's bullshit. It's nonsense. If it didn't have frosting, it'd just be a stupid "coffee cake." And a cupcake without frosting is a muffin. Pie is creamy deliciousness. And I'm talking about chocolate cream pie, of course. Or French Silk. Black Bottom. These pies are smooth, rich and topped with clouds of whipped awesomeness.  Fruit pies can suck a bag of dicks. Let a dessert be a dessert, I don't need fruit in it trying to mule in some nutrients. Lemon pie is good, too. In a graham cracker crust (obvi).

Chocolate cream pie is the breakfast of champions. I am on board with this decision.

Question 4: Shouldn't there be better and different options other than graham cracker crusts? Graham cracker crust is so weirdly specific and oddly singular.

Short answer - no. Name one crust better than graham. Pastry kind, it's prob good in France but the ones I've had are just flour-y flavorless dough. Oreo crusts seem super fun but it's too much. Graham has a nice flavor that holds up the taste of creamy chocolate or lemon. It doesn't compete or override.

I'm fully open to reconsider my position in some kind of pie-off or such. This has simply been my experience.

Graham.

I was really hoping you had an answer other than graham crackers.  I have been forced to be gluten free in my life and gluten free graham crackers taste like dusty butt.  I was really hoping beyond hope there.  Crushed again by my love of gluten.

Question 5:  What part of your life that you enjoy can you no longer do without undo detrimental effects?

Well, this is easy. I'm 9 years sober. So anything boozy has been bad for me for a long while. Good news is that I love being sobriety. But it really put a dent in my enjoyment of dive bars, big fruity umbrella drinks and making out with strangers.

I would imagine sobriety does bite into the enjoyment of making out with strangers just a bit.  At least it would let some realize (if the making-out-with-strangers situations continue) that the behavior has something deeper rooted than merely a drinking issue.  Congrats on the 9 years.  I cannot imagine the early, and potential continual, difficulty of going to a bar and being sober.  It would be like working in a place with Mt Dew on tap for free for me... I love that green-ish elixir of life.

You are a writer, a stand-up, a podcaster, and a meditation teacher/mentor... Question 6: Do you ever really have any downtime, and if so, what do you do with it?

Funny. My reaction to the question was "I hardly do anything," but I've been too busy for 2 days to answer, so I guess I do stuff. The nature of the things you mentioned is that they function in downtime. I'm not necessarily on stage doing stand-up, but some part of me is observing and processing ridiculous life at all times. Same with meditation. Since I teach it, there's always some new/better way to explain something, some fun new analogy to use. And if I'm not doing any of those, I'm physically writing or head writing (probably called "thinking").  I also teach writing and I act and produce and audition and stuff.

But I love downtime! One way to look at it is I'm always working. But I think in a way I'm never working. Because I love all that stuff and would do it anyway for the most part. But when I'm not doing anything-anything... I've been dating, saw Thievery Corporation at the Greek last week. I got rid of cable and am deep into Amazon and Netflix. Love fleabag & easy & tried to love The Wire but couldn't get into it, even tho Idris Elba. I'm neck-deep in Oz, tho. Damn. And the past few days, when it wasn't Oz, it was Portlandia. Not a common coupling, but maybe because I'm going to Portland today? Not sure.  

I have a dog I hang out with. I have lots of friends like family I spend time with. I have a best friend in New Mexico & road trip with the dog to visit her & her family once or twice a year. TV, dog & friends, I guess. And movies. But that's work in a way. At least I'm told it's a legit write-off.

Well, it sounds like you have the yin and yang of downtime.  It both doesn't exist for you and yet is all around you.  Truly a sound of one hand clapping type of thing.  That and you are crazy busy.  I mean really busy.  wow.

Question 7: what tool/s if any do you use for time management, with your crazy amount of stuff and all?

THE NIGHT BEFORE. My best move is what I do the night before. I plan out my day with appointment times, what to do between them, often what I'll probably eat--if I'm home what I'll make myself or if I'm in a certain part of town I'll think of where to eat there. I also schedule in fun stuff and goof-off time. I don't do this in a rigid way, I do it more in a dreamy kind of "If I could wish for a perfect tomorrow..."

It reduces my anxiety, gives me lots to look forward to, pre-solves problems that may come up the next day, and often gives me new ideas for the day.

Someone once called it a "Future Journal" - you write about tomorrow the way you might journal about something that's already happened today. It's part visualization, I guess, but I don't like close my eyes and go into great detail. I write down what needs to be done in order and how I can build other things around that. I'm writing down a to-do list. I'm just imagining it out a little more. I guess I'm imagineering a great day! Boy, do I sound like a real hippy jerk!

But it helps so much. And when I don't do it, I feel kind of lost in my day.

For some reason when I do this the night before, I'm better prepared for my day, as if I've been coached on "How to have a good Thursday" or such. Like today, I have an appt 11-12. I jotted down things I could do at home before and one was to answer your email. When I sat at my computer, it simply occurred to me to answer your email - like I knew what to do because I thought about it last night. I also know I'll have a vanilla smoothie and I'll start turkey chili in the crockpot. OMG I'M SUCH A SQUARE! Also, for lunch I'll have chili and a Trader Joe's salad because there are 2 in the fridge. etc etc

I mention this and in such detail because it's helped me a TON and maybe it'll help someone else. I feel OVERWHELMED easily, and I juggle a lot of career, information, to-do stuff all the time.

When I visualize/plan it out the night before, I see how it'll all work together and I'll be productive and have down-time and eat well, etc.

So I wake up feeling like it's already going to be a good day.

That is an incredibly easy, yet amazingly helpful method of keeping your schedule together. My time management and organizational management is questionable at best.  I am starting to run into some issues with not accomplishing tasks in an expedient time frame due to my relative lackof organization.  I need to get on top of that stuff.

One thing I noticed... You are making turkey chili in the crockpot and Trader Joe's Chili in the fridge to have lunch... That is a bunch of chili to be consumed in a relatively short span of time.  Question 8: What is it with the chili?

You just wasted a question--

"chili and a Trader Joe's salad"

It's my chili and a TJ salad.  I'm not the Howard Hughes of chili.

No question is wasted.  "I'm not the Howard Hughes of chili."  is one of the best responses ever. EV.ER.

Question 9: Understanding that it is not chili, what are you the Howard Hughes of?

I love this question. Wish I had a super cool answer. But I'll say pennies. In that I save them in jars which of course is pretty normal. But I mention it because earlier this year I wanted a smart TV. 2 months ago I coin starred the pennies & used it to BUY A NEW TV!!!

Real proud of that.

Also - that's a lot of change.

Holy shit... you bought a modern TV with pennies... That is a bunch of pennies.  The cheapest Smart TV I could find was kind of smallish, but we will go with it.  It was around $140.  Let's say you got that TV on sale for 10% of.  That means the price would be $126.  That is 12,600 pennies, and a penny weighs 0.088 ounces.  So you had.... multiply the weight by the number divide by 16 to get pounds... You had nearly 70 pounds of pennies just hanging around?  That is a bunch of copper and zinc.

Question 10:  Fill in the blanks... I find that I am mostly _______.  Others find that I am mostly ______.

I was lazy getting this to friends, then they were lazy getting back to me.

I thought I'd say: I find that I am mostly funny.  But I didn't tell my friends that. I just asked them to fill in the 2nd.

& my friend, superstar Mo Gaffney said:   Others find that I am mostly hilarious.

So I'm either on-track or I slightly undersell myself. You decide.

Actually, she offered options:  Kind or Hilarious or Energetic or Smart.
And she's the only one who got back to me.

I'm glad you took the lack of responses in stride.  Some days I would have taken the lack of responses as a reason to change my response to "not worth their time" and then cry myself to sleep.  

I really love that you said "funny" and your friend said "hilarious." Methinks you do not give yourself enough credit.  You are hilarious, and you can take that to the bank. The bank won't accept it, but you can take it there.

Question 11: why do you think your self assessment is so similar to your friend's response?

Ha. I've done the taking their lack of response personally and the crying, now I'm just like - they're busy.
 
I think my friend's answer was similar because all we do together is laugh. Not all, but mostly.
I have a good group of girlfriends who laugh a ton but we also call each other when we're down, upset, or tempted to go on a murder rampage.

She probably chose to say hilarious because it's part of our favorite time together. The most fun part.

I think you should be pleased that Mo did not say "about to go on a murderous rampage."

This question is one of my favorite ones because its simplicity hides its depth.  Question 12: Are you happy?

Yes, I'm happy.

I say this as someone who's been diagnosed with and medicated for depression 3 times.
I know the difference.
I'm somewhat obsessed with happiness and consider myself a bit of an expert on the topic.

I think we're always in a flux of emotions. Everything external to us is ever-changing, and so are our moods and feelings.
I think what I mean by saying I'm happy is that I know where to find it when I wander far away from it.

I know that my experience is going to come from what I'm giving my attention. So if I'm focused on news, facebook, bills, deadlines, criticism, etc.
--general bad stuff, ie stuff that causes me stress, worry, anxiety - general unhappiness.
I know to turn my attention to things that make me happy, things I feel grateful for.

I know if something keeps bothering me, I either need to work through some kind of upset or resentment and let it go because it's taking too much ofmy attention.
or i need to turn my active attention to things that are pleasing.

Also, I've meditated twice a day for about 10 years. With each meditation, I experience a sense of bliss that's internally generated.
Over time, I've become very familiar with that place and it gets easier to get to.

does that make sense?

That makes perfect sense.  In light of recent electoral events I feel that I should probably start meditating myself.  Clarity of mind is something to relish at the moment.

So, this should be fun.  We are at the exciting Questions 13: Do you have any superstitions or rituals (let me define rituals for this particular question.  In this instance a ritual is a set of systemic actions one takes to intentionally alter their existing state of mind.  For example, when I played soccer in high school I had an elaborate system of actions to get myself prepared for playing a the game.  At the time it was my "lucky ritual" that I started doing because I did it once and had an amazing game, but it turns out it was more of a way of changing my focus from the day to day notions of a high school kid to being focused at the game at hand. make sense)?

Ok. But what were some of your actions in this elaborate ritual?

Oof... well this is a thing that will be slightly embarrassing... okay... it goes as follows.  

1. Briefs... boxer briefs did not exist
2. lucky polka dot boxers.
3. Soccer shorts (they were white so you could see the dots if you looked, I was fashionable, yo)
4. Old ratty Tshirt with sleeves cut off
5. Soccer jersey
6. Inner poly wicking hiking socks
7. Light weight mid-calf cotton sock
8. Shin guards
9. Soccer socks
10. Neoprene knee brace
11. Cleats

By that time I was focused on playing the game

You?

This sounds suspiciously like getting dressed.

I think I do have rituals. I believe I write better if I light a candle. I had a friend who told me that whenever I want to write, to light a candle, then write while it's lit, when I'm done blow it out. So lighting a candle is my cue to write. It kind of works.

I used to try the exact right amount of alcohol to make me have a good stand-up show. I think I landed on a beer & a half. I'm sober now. Also I think they weren't related. I had a good set or a bad set depending on a million other things, like who's in the audience, for one example. But early in comedy whenever I had a good set I tried to replicate what I did. One time I swam laps at the gym then had a good set. I was like, shit, now I have to swim before a set? Now, I think it was that I'd exercised and had some endorphins, some mental clarity. But 23 year olds are dumb. If they believe swimming will yield good comedy, they'll try it. Ultimately I landed on alcohol because it was easier than going swimming, drying off, going to and from the gym, changing for the show, etc. Also I'm an alcoholic, so I have to assume that was part of the allure.

Truth. I do a lot of stuff to influence outcome that is more like, psychological. Like if I have a meeting or audition and I feel "vaguely bothered" or "in my head about something," there's stuff I do. I rarely know what I'm actually feeling. Feelings show up super vague for me. So, like after an audition I'll crave a hot fudge sundae real hard. If I look into it I'll find that "I'm just hoping I get that role" or "I'm afraid I didn't do well." Before a meeting/audition/etc I'll think I feel fine but I'm restless, or easily annoyed. It took me years to notice that when I had a stand-up show, I'd be mad all day. I'd snap at boyfriends and be irritated all day. After the show I'd feel great. I was just nervous. But I didn't feel, "I'm nervous about my show tonight," I felt "God! Why is every driving like a fucking asshole!"  So, that's what I mean, I almost never know what I actually feel.

So, often before a big appointment I do the following.
I'll freewrite for 10 or so minutes - what I'm feeling, is something going on? After that I might right a fear list - what am I afraid of as it pertains to the meeting/appointment. I have a few friends I can call & read them the fear list. They may give input like "Okay, none of that is happening now" or "If you don't get this job it doesn't mean you're worthless - that's extreme thinking," etc. Then I'd take some minutes to pray to have each fear removed. and ask god "what would you have me be?"  Then I sit quietly and see if anything occurs to me. I usually get insight like, "Go have fun, it doesn't matter, be yourself, you've lived your whole life without working there you'll be fine, just show up, just listen," stuff like that. I always feel better. It's a real structured way to deal with fears that I otherwise push down or ignore.

Does that sound weird? It's not something I usually share with people. But I assume we all get afraid about work stuff sometimes.

This is an amazingly wonderful response.

First off, I feel like I need to defend myself just a tad about my pre-game ritual in my youth.  I can clearly see that my prep was very just much like "getting dressed."  That being said, it did involve a very particular way of rolling the socks up my leg and some breathing exercises though.  It was not just me shoving my feet into socks really quickly.

Second off, I love the intentionality that you have in addressing your uneasiness.  That is some great self-care and work right there.  If you think I am not going to try some of that for myself, you are mistaken. I am often impressed by the responses I get for this question, and yours is the most impressive so far.

Question 14: Of the myriad of different things you do (acting, writing, teaching meditation, podcasting, stand-up, etc...) what do you find to be the most fulfilling?

I feel like I want to say teaching is the most fulfilling and performing is the most gratifying.
I wasn't sure the distinction, so I looked them up.

fulfilling is satisfying. gratifying is enjoyable. So I think my instincts were right.

I love teaching somebody something. I love teaching meditation -- people only 100% identify with their thoughts, then they get this whole new experience.
it's amazing to see and incredible to play a role in that. it gives me physical energy and it affects my heart emotionally - it's sharing a heart connection with someone.

performing i love because - oh shit, i just realized it's in the same way. i'm connecting with a roomful of people, but it's different because it's about me initially.
when i teach it's about the person i'm teaching. i share information and experience and I'm tuned in to how they're receiving it. my focus is --is this landing with them? is this helping them?
when i perform, i'm interested if what i say is landing, and i make adjustments for things to land, but 80% or more, I have stuff I'm going to say. I thought of it, i've said it before, I think it's funny.
i'm not trying to get the audience to some new place.

both are about connection, though. i guess i say teaching is more fulfilling because it's a connection but the person is, sorry to put a heavy thing to it, they're changed forever. teaching someone fills in a gap in education or experience with the intent that it benefits the person.

performing, i connect with an audience, or i don't. but when i connect it's mostly super fun for me, they're not going to be forever benefitted by my performance. but we are all sharing nice moments during the show.

I love that you determined that both teaching and performing are aspects of connection.  I definitely have not framed them both through the same lens before. Individual versus group connection.  Even though they are ostensibly for different ultimate purposes, they are still human connections and interactions.  

So... Question 15:  other than when you are teaching meditation to someone, where do you see yourself being most present?

Easy. When I'm making out with someone I like. Next!

That makes sense.

Question 16: Is there a question that you were expecting me to ask that I have not?

I thought you might ask the follow up question of: Have you made out with people you didn't like?

To which I'd have answered: most certainly.

I think most people have made out with people they do not like.  I know many people who have made with people they thought they would like. Turns out many people are not as great judges of character as they are judges of physical attractiveness.

So... Question 17: What do you look for in someone you want to make out with?

I got stuck on this one. What do I look for in someone I want to make out with? To be sadly honest I'm not that picky. I kind of wonder what it's like to make out with almost every guy. When you're 10 ppl say you're boy crazy. Older, ppl call it slutty, I guess. Tho I was never labeled that. I think my baby face protected me.

If I'm at a party & chat with someone for a while, I want to make out with them. I guess if they show interest & make me laugh. I think I'm supposed to look for more qualities but that's about it.

Cute, makes me laugh & wants to make out with me.

No shaming here.  You could want to make out with someone because their hair is brown and we'd all be fine with that.  As long as the make-outs are between consenting adults, who am I to judge.  I would not say that is slutty behavior at all.  Older people are dumb.

So, now I turn the tables for a question.  Question 18: Is there a question/are there any questions you would like to ask me?

Here's my question for you - What's the most gratifying part of doing 20 Questions for you?
& I have a 2nd question. Has someone already asked you that? If so, I want a do-over.

Well, that is an easy one.  I get to know people in a much more thorough and (in many ways) intimate way through this process.  We have been emailing back and forth for 5 months, and honestly I don't often do that with some of my best friends. I will let you in a on little secret.  This process is honestly a bit of an excuse to become friends with people I enjoy on the Internet.  It works to varying degrees. There are people that I asked my 20 Questions to years ago who I consider friends now, and there are people I spent over 6 months corresponding with who might not remember who I am.

Now onto the second question.  Yes, I have been asked that.  You may have a do-over, so Question 18A: Do you have any other questions for me?

If you had the power to change ONE historical event (excluding Trump not being elected)....what would you change and what would you hope would be different in the world today because of that change of history?

Boom.

Wow, this is a crazy interesting question.  The whole idea of the Butterfly Effect makes this question have ramifications far greater than just altering the action.  Historical actions have historical significance and if the action is removed, what does that mean? Private negative experiences are what I have grown from, so I am less likely to remove events from my life that may have been negative to start with because they have made me who I am. To mitigate the potential error propagation, the altered action would need to be relatively personal and recent, so we are no longer talking about any significant historical event and just taking the definition of "historical" as meaning "in the past."  I had loaded nachos today for lunch and it is not sitting well with me.  I think I should have made the time to walk to the market and get something healthier.

So, we are at the penultimate question... Question 19:  What are you taking from this 20 Questions that you did not bring with you?

I appreciate all your big words but I think you avoided the question. Wasn't about personal history, was about World History - if US hadn't made the Louisiana Purchase or brought over slaves or if G Washington did want to be king or if Henry 8 hadn't started a church or if Hitler's parents had been nicer to him ...YOU HAD THE POWER TO HYPOTHETICALLY CHANGE ANYTHING AND YOU DIDN'T!. That's something you'll have to live with.

What I have taken, so really, what you've given me in this experience is a greater sense of comfort in the world.
Sounds big, and it is. But surface-level Twitter is like, no thanks kinda scary. Sometimes there's a sense of finding a like-minded person in a tweet and maybe follow them or go down their rabbit hole posts for a while.
But you were like a hand extending outward in a good way and invited me into what's become about 6 months of intimacy. Honest questions and honest answers. More in-depth than 2 people at a party, unless it was maybe a 6 month party.
So that's what I've gotten. A connection. Which comes with a sense of being seen & heard and on some level appreciated. Which is a great thing, especially amongst all the sound and fury.

Okay, here is the thing.  I will clarify my response for the historical time-altering.  Everything that is now is only because of what was in the past.  I am a big believer in the butterfly effect and non-linear recursive mathematics (chaos theory) which both ascribe to the concept of compounding the effects of change over time or iterations.

So let's look at a historically significant change that many people talk about.  A bunch of people would say that they would go back in time and whack Hitler before he became a force to be reckoned with.  So Hitler started a world-wide war that killed a total of 75 to 80 million people (including the ethnic genocides, civilian casualties, and military losses).  Potentially those 75 to 80 million people would be saved if Hitler had not invaded Poland... but by saving those 75 to 80 million people you have basically made the close to 10 billion people that have come after that war to not ever be. I am one of those 10 billion people and my family is part of that 10 billion.  I like my family and am happy with how my life has turned out, and I like the movement forward by society since the 1940's.

Now let's look at personal tragedy that is life altering, but may not actually effect the overall timeline of world events (as we know it).  On my 19th birthday, I witnessed my best friend's father get hit by a drunk driver.  He was killed and it really messed with me. At 19 I lost my invulnerability, I realized that we are mortal beings who only have a limited amount of time on this rock spinning around a star spinning on a galactic disc.  The trauma of the event altered me to my very core.  The changes that have taken place within me are in no small part due to that event taking place.  The person I met and married, I would not have met and married.  My children would not be, and my best friend who just had a beautiful baby girl would not have brought that life into the world had that even not taken place.  That event, while tragic and despair inducing at the time, has tempered me into the person I am today, and has formed many of the people who I love today.  I do not think I would change that now, 20+ years on.

So, I may have been a little flip in my response about loaded nachos (which were not great, I mean seriously they were like lead in my belly), but I stand by the analysis.  I can happily live with the results of my hypothetical inaction.  I did think it through, and very seriously, because it is a great question.  

Now onto what you have told me that you are leaving with that you did not come in with.  Wow.  I am humbled by your response.  Connections... real connections are difficult to generate in today's digital world.  So much of our interactions are fleeting noises that when we have a sustained connection it actually means something.

I really have relished the contact that we have had, and will miss it when we are done.  I have seriously enjoyed conversing with you via these 40+ odd emails and hope that this conversation has helped us to become actual internet friends.  You are a person I would love to meet up with to share food and laughs, and I hope that the feeling is mutual. I hope that we both make the effort to stay in contact, because you are a goddamned delight.

last one... Question 20:  What's next?  Be as concrete or as vague as you want, as short-term or long-term as you feel comfortable, and as grounded or philosophical as you would like.

FEELING IS MUTUAL!!! Let's stay in touch & maybe we cross paths in human form face-face one day!

Next? Going back to bed. Ha just kidding. i will give you a characteristically super long answer.

Your questions have corresponded with an interesting time.  My boyfriend of 6 years, 2 off/on before that, 10 sort of circling each other before that-- so 18 years of liking this dude, some of those years included travel and holidays together, parents birthdays, hospital visits. Family. Well, he broke up with me in a sentence on July 31. "I don't want to work on it any more."  

So, while I was answering your questions, I was also working on myself -- why was i with him, what was i getting from that, who am i on my own, what do i really want.
the things we explore when things fall apart and it's time to rebuild.

And it's been good. As you clearly understand from your answer to my last question. I didn't want it to happen, but I like where it's gotten me.
I want to act. I came to LA to act, then I shut down somewhere. I've made a living writing and I've kept performing to various degrees, but I know I want to act - so I am.

I will spend the next year boyfriend-free and continuing to pursue my own best interests. all the energy i was willing to use to work on that relationship gets poured back into me.

So what's next is to keep on with where I'm headed. Letting myself show up for the life I want.

Well, I, for one, love you working on yourself and pouring all the energy that was consumed by your relationship into yourself.  I want to remain email friends and will happily email with you for as long as you are willing to put up with me.

I have enjoyed this 20 Questions immensely and, as I stated previously, you are a goddamn delight. I feel like I am a better person for getting to know you better.

As it is, everyone should follow you on Twitter, visit your website, and listen to your podcast, "Will you Med with Me?"

Thank you thank you thank you, Laura.

To recap:
This is a long one but well worth the read
I love asking thoughtful people 20 Questions
It is even better when that person is creative and has a very strong point of view
I really love me some Laura House
Now I need to listen to “Will You Med with Me.”
I have waaay too many podcasts in my repertoire
Did not get the opportunity to march this past weekend
Little Man was in a swim meet
That will eat up some time
He dropped 5 seconds on his 100m fly
It is amazing to see him drop time in such short distances
Hopefully he sticks with it
Netflix’s Voltron Season 2 is up and running
I think I will start my consuming of Voltron now
I still need to watch the series finale of Sherlock
I also have a bajillionty things to do for my job
And I need to invoice a client for a map as well
I have another interview that is just about done as well
Maybe for next week
Have a great week everyone