20 Questions Tuesday: 417 - Liv Albert

Recently, I have been trying to broaden my podcasts. One of the podcasts I have started consuming is “Let’s Talk about Myths Baby.” It is a wonderful podcast that looks at classical mythology from a more feminist lens. Basically, to boil one of the throughlines of the podcasts down to its essential message… classical mythology is misogynist as hell. Quelle Suprise!

Anyway… here is what I now about the host, Liv… she is from Canada and loves mythology. This 20 Questions Tuesday is an effort to change that. So, let’s learn more about Liv, because what I know (she’s Canadian and like myths… stay with me folks, I just wrote that only two sentences ago. I’m not going to reset like a radio station every few lines or so the entire post) leads me to believe that she is awesome.

Onto the questions.

In a previous career path I made maps for a living. I came to cartography because I love the concept of story as place. So, my geographic story is one that I have mentioned almost every single interview. So I apologize to my loyal readers (I think there are about 7), but here is my geographic story. I was born outside of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. I was moved to Montgomery, Alabama at the tender age of 3, and then moved up I-65 to a suburb of Birmingham called Center Point. That is where I grew up until I went off to college in Kent, Ohio at Kent State. I followed my fiance down to Columbus, Ohio where I have been since. Question 1: What is your geographic story?

I’ll admit this is the one question I read of previous interviews you’ve done, along with a quick skim of others, and I wondered if I would receive the same! I started out in a suburb of Montreal, Quebec, called Pointe Claire where I was born and lived until I was six. At six, my parents packed up my younger sister and I and we drove across Canada to one of the farthest points west, Victoria, British Columbia. That’s on Vancouver Island, for you non-Canadians, which is, confusingly enough, not where Vancouver is. The only land we can see from Victoria is Washington State, which is a pointless piece of information I always tell Americans. At 21 I moved back to Montreal to get my Bachelor’s in English Literature and Classical Civilizations from Concordia University, and from there I moved to Toronto to do Post-Grad school for book publishing. That’s what I did in Toronto for a few years, before missing the Pacific Northwest and moving back. I did a brief stint in Vancouver (a boring, expensive city--sorry Vancouverites), before settling back in my hometown. Wow, was that ever long!

I have a friend who lives on Bowen Island in the Vancouver area, so I am a little familiar with the BC landscape. I would love to move to the Pacific Northwest at some point. If nothing else I would like to visit there soon and often.

Knowing that you just got back from a trip to Greece… Question 2: do you get to travel much, where have you traveled, and where is the furthest you have gone from the Canadas?

The Canadas! That makes us sound so fancy.

I have traveled a fair bit, though not as much as I’d like. When I was in high school my mom took my sister and me around Europe: Paris, Venice, Rome, and Athens. It was amazing. I was already fascinated by the ancient world, but that just amplified it. So much so that when I was 19 I went on another holiday over there with a friend of mine, we did Rome, Paris, Venice, and Florence that time. My travels have been a bit repetitive… there’s a pattern. Once I graduated university I took a Mediterranean cruise with my mom, to Rome, Sicily, Athens, Crete, and Turkey. Visiting a small city in Crete, Chania, and the ancient city of Ephesus in Turkey was just unreal. Ephesus is a world in itself, and would be the farthest I’ve been from Canada.

But the small tastes of Athens that I’d had were what drove me to visit this past month. I spent eight days there, all in Athens except for a day trip to Delphi. I just immersed myself in everything ancient they have, the Acropolis and its new museum, the archaeological museum, the Agora. I can’t get enough.

I’ve also been to Mexico and Cuba, but while all-inclusive resort vacations are fun, you don’t really get much of the culture.

I am not sure that resorts count as travel to a foreign land. I have England, Scotland, France, Germany, and Canada under my belt. Turkey seems super interesting. Especially if I could get some “behind the scenes” tours of Gobekli Tepe. That would be amazing.

So, here comes the dreaded Question 3: Cake or Pie, which specific kind and why?

Chocolate cake. Period. My mother says that “if it’s not brown, it’s not dessert”. That’s not something I strictly subscribe to (also, it’s a weird thing to say), but between cake and pie, it’s chocolate cake hands down. Because chocolate is the best, and pie is meh.

Interesting. Just straight up chocolate cake. Simple is sometimes the best. It is why I like vanilla ice cream so much.

Okay, let’s get more topical specifically for you. Question 4: What is the first classical myth you remember hearing?

Cupid and Psyche. Which is funny, since it’s quite a late myth. Late even in terms of the Romans, let alone the Greeks that preceded them. I remember learning it in elementary school, though I tried to revisit my memory and the book I could’ve sworn I read it in doesn’t reference that myth at all! So, honestly not sure where I found it, or if my awesome Grade 7 teacher taught it to me. Either way, it started it all, and is still my favourite myth.

I think the first myth I remember was Theseus and the Minotaur. Oh, those silly Cretes and their bullcrap. I find it interesting that your favorite is also your first.

So, one of your throughlines in your podcast, Let’s Talk about Myths, Baby, is that Hellenistic and Roman mythology (as well as most other mythologies… I’m looking at you Norse Mythos) are rampantly misogynistic and that women in the myths very rarely have much agency beyond being property. Question 5: Is there a myth that is really super positive to women?

Great question! Now, “super positive” is relative, because I would say no when it comes to a straight interpretation of the word “positive”, but comparatively there are myths that are better for women. There are myths where the women have agency and are powerful, though they usually result in those women killing men in their lives. Personally I find those stories righteous and entertaining, but they aren’t exactly “positive”. For instance, in the podcast I’ll soon be covering a series of stories that are collectively referred to as “The Oresteia”, primarily because they were written about by the three great remaining Greek Tragedians, Aeschylus, Sophocles, and Euripides. But they are myths in themselves. Clytemnestra is the wife of Agamemnon, who did some truly awful stuff before going off to fight the Trojan War, and when he returns she is over it. She and her new lover kill him, but for it are killed by her son, Orestes.

There’s a whole lot more to it and it’s wonderful, but there’s the gist. There’s also stories of the women after the Trojan War who are powerful and righteous, but those mostly reside in Greek tragedies and so it’s less clear whether they were actually accepted myths before the tragedians took them on. Otherwise there are female characters who have good aspects, and do some good things in the myths, but outside of some amazing plays written in antiquity, there aren’t really any that are just straight positive to women.

So there is not really a myth out there that you are aware of where the woman wins and walks away unscathed? Well… sadly that sounds about right.

I don’t want to say there isn’t one at all, but, I certainly can’t think of one off hand!

Question 6: Is there another mythos that you are interested in? What is your second tier mythology?

I’m going to take that question a bit more generally than you’ve probably intended and say: Harry Potter. It’s certainly become its own mythology, and as the peak Harry Potter generation, I absolutely drank the kool-aid.

I love it when people answer questions in an unintended way. It makes the conversation so much richer. I think it would be boring had you answered with Celtic or . I think there is something to the idea of modern mythologies. Harry Potter, JRR Tolkien, Star Wars, and Comic Books are all viable modern mythologies.

Question 7: So, who is your favorite secondary character from the Harry Potterverse? And what is your favorite myth from that mythos?

Great question, because they happen to be linked! My favourite character is Remus Lupin, Harry’s third year Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher. He is, of course, a werewolf. And so, the related mythology is my favourite because, surprise surprise, it links to classical mythology. The name Remus comes from one of the two origin stories of the city/empire of Rome. Remus and Romulus were two brothers who were raised by a “she-wolf”, just a female wolf, they were raised as her pups and there is a very famous bronze statue of them together. The brothers went on to found Rome, before Romulus got greedy and killed his brother Remus.

So, Remus was raised by wolves but ultimately became a tragic figure, much like the character. Plus, the name Lupin is a derivative of the Latin for wolf. JK Rowling thought very hard about almost every character’s name and traits and I find that so brilliant, it’s my favourite part about reading and rereading those books, finding new minor details that were obviously so deeply thought out. Of course, Lupin was also just a wonderful character in the books. It’s even my cat’s ironic name.

I loved Remus Lupin. He was a very tragic and lovely character. I think my favorite secondary character is Trelawney. She is such a well fleshed out character by both being a cliche and well developed.

Fun fact about Trelawney! There’s reference to her being a descendent of Cassandra, the implication being that it was Cassandra of Troy and the Trojan War, the prophetess who could see the future but was destined to not be believed when she did. Just another instance of Rowling being an incredible storyteller.

I think I defer to the Star Wars or Comic Book mythoses. I grew up on those as a kid, I am clearly older than you.

Question 8: Are you currently reading anything that you are enjoying immensely?

I also grew up on Star Wars, I was a huge fan of the original trilogy as a kid, though I am also unfortunately of the generation that was cursed with the later trilogy, and of an age to, for a brief time, believe that The Phantom Menace was not an awful movie full of horrific racial stereotypes!

I’m currently reading Circe, by Madeline Miller, which my listeners will be THRILLED to hear. It’s a follow up to The Song of Achilles which is one of the most beautiful and moving books I’ve ever read. Still getting into Circe, but I’m really hoping I feel the same after I’ve finished it. I also have about 20 other books on the go because that’s just how I live all the time. A product of a former life and the collection of books it resulted in.

Other than the book I am working with some editors on right now (still working on it peeps!), I do not have any in my docket. Writing a book tends to be completely all consuming when you are in the thick of it. It is amazing how all your downtime is taken up by thinking about the editing and how to tell story. There is not much waking moments wherein I am not thinking about the book structure and plot holes that need to be plugged.

Question 9: Is there a take on mythology of which you would feel compelled to write a novel? If so, what story would you focus on?

Funny you should ask, because I’ve actually been in the midst of writing a novel about Greek mythology for a good decade. My recent trip to Athens was made pretty explicitly to get some inspiration to finally finish the book, and I’m hoping to soon. Of course, most of my downtime is taken up by the podcast, so finding the time to write the book is getting more and more tricky as the success of the podcast builds.

In terms of the mythology, it centres around a kind of retelling of the myth of Cadmus and Harmonia, focusing, unsurprisingly, on Harmonia as the main character. It’s not a particularly well known myth which is why I chose it. There’s a lot there to build on, without being constantly worried about messing with a myth that’s more well known and therefore more likely to be nitpicked in terms of accuracy. Also, she’s one of the rare females in Greek mythology where, by and large, nothing tragic happens to her. Her family line is another story, but her character remains unscathed.

I want to read this book. So… when it is ready, lemme know and I will get myself a copy and tell others to do so as well. I have found that most people that I have met who either studied classics or majored in English or in History have a book in them that is waiting to get out. A researched book takes so much more time and effort than the clap trap that I have thrown/am throwing together. I wish you much success.

Question 10: Fill in the blanks. I find that I am mostly _____. Others find that I am mostly _____.

What a question… I think the English/grammar nerd in me is having the most trouble with this one. Do I choose an adjective to simply insert? Do I turn it into a full sentence? A paragraph?

Let’s go with…

I find that I am mostly… holding it together.

Sometimes I feel like I’m doing this better than other times. Right now, I’m teetering on the edge. So many projects, so much work, so little time.

Others find that I am mostly… succeeding.

I say that based on what I hear most often when I catch up with people. I’m so busy these days that most of my interactions outside of work are catching up. They come so infrequently, that they always involve major catch-up for what either person has been up to. From the outside, it sounds like I’m really succeeding. Like things are working out really well.

On the inside, it feeds like that… But it also feels like this is a bubble that will burst. I’m hesitant to talk about how things are going, hesitant to point out exciting new opportunities or developments. I feel like this all can’t last. I’ve had a real tough time finding anything resembling success in past years, and suddenly it all seems like it’s coming at me at once and so, I feel, it can’t possibly last or continue on this way.

I hope I’m wrong. I hope I’m just being hard on myself.

Anyway, I went from not being able to answer this question at all to turning it into a moment of catharsis for myself.

This question often ends up being super cathartic. Often people do not take the time out of their busy days to think about themselves and how others contemplate them. We typically focus on one or the other. It is an exercise to think about both at the same time. It invariably makes someone think about how the answers are the same, but most likely how they are different.

I would assume that you are being hard on yourself. Most people who create things are. I would imagine there is a bit of Imposter’s Syndrome creeping in on your psyche (not the Cupid/Psyche Psyche, I would not imagine your Imposter’s Syndrome would be creeping in on her) as well, but I might be projecting a bit there. I have the Imposter’s Syndrome in spades.. It seems that a podcast being successful is a difficult one to not feel like you are out of your element. Suffice it to say, you are successful enough to have some rando guy in Ohio listen to your podcast and enjoy it enough to reach out digitally to interview you. That is at least some level of success, right? right?

I might as well get the next deceptively simple, yet very deep question out of the way.. Question 11: Are you happy?

I am mostly happy. I’m happier than I was this time last year, and I’m happy in a different way than I was the year before that. The past few years have included a number of big transitions. A few years ago I left Toronto where I have the most incredible friend group, and I now live in my hometown where, coincidentally, most of my old friends no longer live because they now live in Toronto. I’m happy because of the podcast and what it’s brought me, and I like my day job, but I don’t have the social life I had in Toronto. So, happy, but different. Wishing I could combine the two lives.

I wish you to combine those 2 as well. I honestly think “mostly happy” is all we can really strive for as people. I am happy that you are mostly happy.

Question 12: What made you decide on podcasting as your creative outlet?

I’m an obsessive podcast listener and when I first moved to Vancouver a couple years ago, I didn’t know anyone and didn’t like my job. I was super bored and just listened to podcasts non-stop before finally thinking to myself, hey, I should try that!

I completely understand that. I (at one time) was listening to over 80 hrs of podcasts per week. I was in a dead end job that was wholly unfulfilling. I was depressed and living vicariously through podcasters. Their successes were my successes, and I felt their failures… I ended up going back to school to get a degree in a different career path so I could jump careers. Now I consume a measly 40 hours of podcast content per week. Cutting back on the listening was both difficult and easy.

Question 13: Other than “Let’s Talk about Myths, Baby” what podcast in your library of podcasts is the one you cannot live without at the moment?

Podcasts are such an incredible medium for just that reason, we become friends with these people. They’re in our head talking all the time, and if you’re listening to conversational shows they just become your friends. It’s wonderful and it absolutely saved me, sounds like it saved you too. I can’t live without My Favorite Murder. Speaking of feeling like people are your friends! Those two women chat with each other, about murder and about life, and it’s a wonderful thing.

I too was a Murderino for a bit. That was one of the podcasts that unfortunately had to fall by the wayside with a new career that involves “paying attention.” It was a tough decision, but I think I got worn out on the “murder” too. Karen Kilgariff is a comedic genius. Georgia can hold her own, but Karen is next level stuff. The 3 podcasts I consistently move to the top of the queue are “the Dana Gould Hour,” “Yo, Is This Racist,” and “The Dollop.” Those 3 are my “skip all the others” podcasts.

So, my ex-Mother-in-law who lives in my backyard (long story), has a great motto. One of the adages that she adheres to (which I have adopted) is “Don’t let the fuckers get you down.”

Question 14: Do you have any adages, sayings, mottos, creedos, etc... ?

The Dollop is a favourite of mine too, and I’ve heard the host of Yo, Is This Racist on other shows and he’s hilarious, I should give it a listen!

As for adages, sayings, etc… not really. Basically I just swear a lot and stay at a consistent level of “angry” that keeps me grounded and perhaps all too aware of what’s going on in the world around me.

“Consistent Level of Angry” is a great band name. I would listen to them.

I usually ask this question as Q 13 because of the whole triskaidekaphobia thing, but we were kind of in the middle of something. But here it goes. Question 15: Do you have any superstitions or rituals that you adhere to? (rituals can be meditation or prayer or what have you)

Oh fun question! I wish I had a fun answer… I’m not superstitious (but I am a little stitious)...

But really, I believe in the power of general positivity, though not in any kind of magical way, just in the way that I believe you’re more likely to attain whatever your goal is by remaining positive and the resulting effect that has on your psyche, etc. I also have a habit of writing things down when I have something I want to have in the future (qualities I want in a new home or job, etc.). I also use too many commas, but that’s neither here nor there.

Positivity is no joke. I too believe that much of what people do can be altered with one’s own state of mind. I am a big proponent of intentionality. Holding on to your intentions and operating from a place of intention can be very powerful. So much of our daily routine is done out of habit and muscle memory, adding some intentionality can be very powerful. I don’t believe in “The Secret” vision board concept as some kind of magic as much as it is setting intentions.

I imagine you get all kinds of shit on the internets because you are consistently calling out Zeus for his rampant misogyny… well, actually, (not intended in a mansplainy way) you call out the whole of the classical era of mythology for using women as property and reward. Question 16: Why do you think the dude-bros come at you for stating this? What do you think they are hoping to get out of coming at you?

I do get some shit for the way I cover stories, but honestly with the internet the way it is, I’m always shocked I don’t get more. But almost, if not 100% of my poor reviews are based in exactly what you’re saying, so those are annoying enough! People project onto what I do, too. I can’t tell you how many people hear hatred for all men, contemporary and ancient, when I say what I say about the patriarchy and the way women were treated in ancient Greece. I can honestly say I’ve never expressed hatred for all men, as I don’t hate all men.

It’s similar to the hatred towards that amazing new Gilette ad. People hear what they want to hear, and when women are angry about their treatment, they want to believe it’s this subset of women who are angry because they hate all men and not angry because they’re treated like garbage.

I think it’s mostly coming from the ingrained notion of the patriarchy. Cis-gender white men have it super, duper easy. And sure, everyone has their individual troubles and some people have more than others. But inherent in gender identity and skin colour, some things come inherently easier. I have it easier than women of colour, and that’s a fact I readily admit to and why I feel it’s so important to be an ally of all sorts. But back to this inherent leg-up, and the ingrained patriarchy. That’s being threatened by people like me who are talking about the privilege and calling out behaviour of the past and the present. The privilege is being threatened and so they lash out, finding straw-man arguments to try to discredit rather than learn from things being discussed these days. So these people, and honestly I get A LOT of women who don’t like me for the same reason, decide that I hate all men and so I must be crazy and not have any good points.

Basically it’s all evidence of why we need to continue to smash the patriarchy. We’ll all be better for it, cis-gender white men included.

The backlash for the Gilette ad is indicative of people having a problem. The ad basically says, “don’t be a dick” and the people protesting it REALLY want to be dicks to each other, to women, to other people, to small animals, to inanimate objects…. It is like that alt-right leader dude who thinks his neighbors are attacking him personally for having signs in their own yards saying that they want to be inclusive and that all people have rights. The people who are complaining about the ads/signs in yards/feminism in a podcast know they are in the wrong, but don’t want people to call them on their bullshit. Methinks thou doth protest too much.

Question 17: Is there anything you were expecting me to ask that I haven’t?

Not really, no…

Good enough. We are rounding the corner to being done, so, let’s turn the tables… Question 18: Any questions for me?

Sure! This is a fun thing you’re doing here. How’d you get it started, and what have you learned from the interviews you’ve done?

I got started when I got writer’s block while writing my daddy blog back in the mid to late 00’s. I asked coworkers and people I knew for 20 questions and answered them rather obtusely. Eventually I tired of answering questions and found people to ask questions. I started with comic book artists and comedians and then honestly started asking all sorts of people for interviews.

I guess the biggest thing I have learned is that people, even people who are very self aware, do not really take too much time to think about themselves and their own story.

Question 19: What are you taking from these 20 Questions that you did not bring in with you?

It’s funny, the peak behind the curtain here is that we’ve been going through these 20 questions for ages now, and things have changed for me in that time. The podcast is continuing to grow and it’s both really satisfying and totally surreal. So, that’s definitely a kind of simultaneous reward that’s come while we’ve done this. But directly from the questions, I think like you just said, I haven’t really taken much time to look inwardly. I’m insanely busy these days, and most of the time all it does is give me anxiety. But some of these questions have forced me to pause and take a look at where I am and how I got here, and that’s been a really rewarding thing.

Well, I have really enjoyed this and hope you have as well. I do enjoy this format of asking questions because people change over time. I have asked questions with people who found out they were going to become father’s, people who have gone through breakups, had projects cancelled, and got new jobs during the course of the interviews. I do love that these conversations evolve over the course of the time. You and I have been trading emails probably more than anyone else you have been emailing as of late, even though we have only been trading emails about once every few days. Because of this level of contact, I have actually developed some friendships doing this interview process. That is a bit of an ulterior motive, I really try to interview people that I would not mind being friends with. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.

So here we are at the final question. Questions 20: What’s next? Be as concrete or as vague as you want, as short-term or long-term as you feel comfortable, and as grounded or philosophical as you would like.

Hmm, what’s next! I’m working on a bunch of things, and have goals for even more things. I’m in the process of finishing a novel centred around Greek mythology that I’ve been writing for, oh, a whole damn decade now, so I hope to have that out in the world soon. I’m also hoping to put together a book of mythology, just the usual Greek mythology, but told in the way I tell the stories in the podcast. I’m also hoping to have other podcasts, possibly in the near future, though there’s nothing concrete planned there. Basically, everything and nothing. I have so many ideas, and not nearly enough time. But with any luck that will start to sort itself out and I’ll be able to work on all my ideas in the very near future.

I would read that book of mythology. The only book of mythology I have ever read was for high school. It was Edith Hamilton’s Mythology, and it was as dry as the paper it was printed on. I would love to read a more nuanced modern analysis of the myths, and especially one that calls out the rampant misogyny. Liv, you are doing the gods’ work.

It turns out that my initial premise of Liv being awesome is true. Liv is delightful and if she is ever in the greater Columbus, Ohio area, I will need to buy her a dinner/drink/dessert or any combination of those three things. All of you should follow Liv’s endeavors (endevours, for my Canadian friends). Download her podcast, Let’s Talk about Myths Baby, and listen to the hell out of that. Follow her on the IG with @Mythsbaby, follow on the twitters with @mythsbaby as well, and give the podcast a looksee on the Facebooks if that is your bag. She is a wonderful storyteller and all should consume her content insatiably.

Her name is Liv, and she loves this shit.

To recap:

I really do enjoy the interviewing

I am on Q 12 of another interview right now

I would love to be on Q 1 on an interview right now as well

Anyone want to step up to the plate for a 20 Questions?

It is time for me to seek out new people willing to be asked 20 Questions

The good part of these 20 Questions is that I get to know someone on a deeper level than I ever thought I would

Whether it is a person I know in the real lifes or someone whom I only know through the internets

The sad part about these interviews is that I get used to chatting with the person I am asking the 20 Questions

I am now going to miss emailing back and forth with Liv

The Let’s Talk about Myths, Baby podcast will have to be methadone to actual interaction

Little Man, I have not talked of him recently, lettered in swimming as a freshman, and his mother and I are very proud of him

Q, whom I have also not talked about in a while, is riding ponies like a boss

I am looking into ways of geographic storytelling, because place is important in stories

I am also jumping back onto the book revisions, so expect a new Kickstarter in the next month or so

I should probably get back into the swing of this blog

Blogs on their own platform are becoming a new Thing

Which reminds me, everyone should be listening to the “It’s a Thing” podcast

Mainly for the intro and outro music

“Ugh, give it to me”

But also for the content of the podcast itself

To borrow from today’s guest…

My name is Scott and I go by mmmmmpig on the internets, and I love this shit

Have a great week, everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 392 - Garon Cockrell

Today I get the pleasure of asking Garon Cockrell 20 Questions.  Garon is the oft-maligned and under appreciated (for comedic effect) intern for the Never Not Funny podcast (one of my favorite podcasts ever), a position he took way back in 2012.  Garon is also the founder, editor and a writer for his pop culture website aptly titled Pop Culture Beast.  He is a published horror author and an award winning screenplay writer. Other than the exploits and tales told while being the intern at Never Not Funny, I really do not know that much about Garon, so let's change that and get to the questions.

My previous job of just over 15 years was as a cartographer.  I have always loved how place can often tell a story that might not be captured in other formats.  So I have always been interested in people's personal geographic stories.  For example, I was born in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma then moved to Montgomery, Alabama only to move up to Birmingham a few years later.  I basically grew up in the Birmingham area and got the Hell out of there when I went off to school in Kent, Ohio.  From Kent I followed my college sweetheart down to Columbus, Ohio and have lived in the Columbus area for since moving down here in 1997.

Question 1: What is your geographic story?

I wish I could say I’ve lived in a million different places, amongst a multitude of cultures. Unfortunately, I can’t say that. I grew up in Michigan, various parts of (suburbs) Detroit but mostly Livonia/Walled Lake. My family has roots in Canada and in the south so I have visited both of these places amongst some other states in the country but as far as living, it was Michigan until I got to the soonest possible moment I could flee and from there it was to California. First to Panorama City, which I would not recommend, and then to Sherman Oaks, where I’ve been for a  few years now. I’d love for my geographic story to take me to the UK one day or even to places like Portland or Seattle. Maybe when I’m rich with writer money.

That is a pretty simple story.  Michigan to LA.  There are worse stories.  I know a few stories of people who have not moved out of their childhood town ever.  They are some of the reasons I left that town, but that is a story for a different time. So... Question 2: Do you get the opportunity to travel much? If so, where have you been?

I don't travel near as much as I'd like. When I was younger we went to places like Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge in Tennessee. We went to Ohio a lot for Cedar Point, sometimes Sea World and this theme park called Geauga Lake, which apparently is abandoned now. I traveled from Michigan to the West with my dad as a kid. We went through Yellowstone, Montana, Wyoming, etc. I ended up flying home alone from Denver while my dad continued on.  We also went to this awesome hotel a lot called Wheels Inn somewhere in Canada. Chatham I think? I remember it having a water slide indoors which was basically the coolest thing ever at the time. I've been to Niagra Falls and New York City where I spent the 1999-2000 NYE inside MTV studios. I visited New Mexico where my mom and brother lived briefly. 

As an adult though my travels have been far less than in the past. Aside from the road trip moving to California which was basically just a long drive with no pit-stops, I've visited Vegas, Tijuana, San Diego, San Louis Obispo, all just short trips away. I'd really love to see more of not only America but the world too. I wanna visit the Pacific NW, I wanna visit Japan, Ireland, the UK. One of those road trips visiting all the tourist traps in the country sounds amazing to be honest. A dream trip would be traveling the country visiting haunted locales. 

A haunted tour might be an interesting thing to see.  

Now it is time for my patented Question 3.  I think we might circle back to some of these concepts... but Question 3 is almost always Question 3.  So, as stolen blatantly from the seminal Paul F. Tompkins bit, Question 3: Cake or pie? Which kind specifically and why?

I'm not a sweets guy to be honest. I do love a good cherry or apple pie but I also love a good yellow cake with strawberries and bananas in the middle from this little hole in the wall in Van Nuys. How do I choose which is a favorite?! Plus cheesecake! This is monstrous. 
I guess a nice cinnamonny apple pie would be a favorite. 

I love me some apple pie.  My mom made and decorated cakes as a side business when I was a kid, so I had more than enough cake as a kid. Cheesecake is amazing, and oft forgotten about. You are now quite possibly my favorite person ever, mainly because of the cheesecake!

I am currently subscribed to over 40 podcasts.  Question 4: Since you are an integral piece of a super successful podcasts, do you listen to any podcasts?

I don’t listen to near as many shows as I used to, although now that I have a job where I can listen to shows again I have started to dive into to more of them.

Right now I listen to Tyler Oakley and Korey Kuhl’s podcast Psycho Babble, I was featured on a couple episodes of The No Sleep Podcast which is horror based so I listen to that as often as I can. I also just started listening to some old time radio shows on Old Time Radio. What else…I check out My Favorite Murder, Spontaneanation, Jackie and Laurie. I listened to Serial, S-Town, Missing Richard Simmons (Bleh). Plus I can listen to Rachel Maddow and Real Time with Bill Maher episodes via podcast too which is pretty cool. I think podcasting is a remarkably exciting environment right now. So many voices, so much great content, You’ll likely never run out of something to listen to that you can enjoy or hell even learn from. Did you know that Bernie Sanders has a podcast? It’s crazy, everyone and anyone can have a show and there are folks out there that will listen. 

I changed jobs from a state job that was not intellectually stimulating to a much more difficult and extremely more interesting job about a year and a half ago.  At that time I was listening to about 60 podcasts a week and consistently miserable. Aside from friends and family, podcasts were about the only thing that kept me relatively sane.

So you are the owner and editor of "Pop Culture Beast." Question 5: Is there a particular part of pop culture that you cannot help yourself around? What corner of pop culture do you simply have to consume regardless of how good or bad each particular piece make actually be?

I mean it’s probably scary movies. I don’t see everything, I wish that I could, but I have such a love for that genre that I love watching it and collecting stuff around it. I love the 80s horror franchises and I will buy pretty much anything that has to do with them so I have toys and posters and books and multiple copies of these movies all over my house. There are movies that I absolutely adore that someone might watch and think I was bonkers. Film in general is a big part of my life. It was really formative for me growing up and represented some important times. It’s why I created the blog and it’s why I write scripts now. I love the business and I want to honor it and be a part of it.

I thought it might be the horror genre in general. I love that you seem to focus on the 80's franchises because they are so iconic. They got so big that you one can easily imagine a saturday morning cartoon with Freddy, Jason, and Mike Meyers on it with the occasional Pinhead interstitial short. I cannot think of an equivalent for the iconic quality for the 2000's or 2010's. The ring did a little of that iconic-ness, but nowhere near as culturally impacting.

Question 6: Why do you think that level of cultural penetration is missing for more current horror franchises and stand-alones?

I mean that's tough. I think innocence has a lot to do with it. Look at the places those films made unsafe. "Halloween" made your typical suburbs a nightmare. "Nightmare on Elm Street" made sleep unsafe. "Friday the 13th" made camping unsafe. What's left? As a society these things don't scare us anymore because they've more or less become reality. Not in a literal way obviously, but if you think about it, what is safe anymore? I think these new breed horror franchises are going to be extremely difficult to launch. I don't think we'll ever have another Freddy or Jason. Jigsaw was the last one of that type. They've tried, look at "Brainscan" from the late 90s. That was supposed to launch a new horror icon. "Jeepers Creepers" also. Horror now is sort of in this interesting Alt-horror phase with stuff like "It Comes At Night" and "It Follows". Both great films but vastly different from the horror I grew up with but I love them just as much. It's a new breed and it's exciting. I can't wait to see what comes next, hopefully with my being a part of it!

I think it also has to do with the proliferation of indy horror making it to some level of distribution.  The barrier to entry for horror movies seems to have lifted which has created more indy one-shots instead of studio franchises. I can think of a handful of micro budget horror movies that were really critically acclaimed that I am not sure could have been made prior to this recent explosion of indy creators. But that really is just my completely uninformed guess.  

For me, it is super hero movies.  I might not go see it in the theater, but I will eventually watch every one of them... even the most terrible of them. It is a curse to be sure... I watched "Steel" with Shaq... ugh (dedication to a genre or compulsion... you be the judge)

Question 7: What is the most unexpectedly hardest aspect for you concerning screenwriting? Clearly getting someone to buy, produce, shoot, edit, and distribute a script is the most difficult, but what is the aspect of the day-to-day screenwriting process that you find surprisingly difficult?

To keep going. That's the truth of the matter. This is such a difficult career to get into and there is virtually no positive reinforcement from anyone so you have to have that inner drive to go on in yourself and I'll be honest, sometimes I feel like it's fading. All I've ever wanted to do was tell stories and bring people emotional reactions to what they are seeing. What happens when no one wants to give you that chance? It's difficult to be sure. So you keep going, you hang in, you write your stories you dream about them because that's all you can do. I think everyone thinks that writing is the easiest thing in the world to do, that you just sit down and start typing, it isn't like that. Often times it's an agonizing internal war just to put "Once upon a time..." on the page. Sometimes you feel like you are on the verge of something happening and sometimes it feels like you are standing at  the edge of an abyss with nowhere to go but straight down into the dark where the monsters are waiting. I didn't choose to be a writer because it was an easy path, hell it wasn't even a choice. It's pretty much the only thing I am good at so that's my path. I'll follow it for as long as I am able to. 

This is way more informed and personal than I was expecting. I was kind of expecting "Dialog, because writing people talking is the hard," and am really happy to see such a wonderful and thoughtful response. It has to be one of the most unrelenting of processes to write and submit and get no to not good feedback on that finished product. 

So let's change topics to something lighter.  Question 8: What part of pop-culture do you try to avoid even though it is so incredibly popular?

Kardashians. or I guess Sports if you consider that pop culture, which i guess it is. I just don't really enjoy it much. As for the Kardashians, that might seem like an easy answer, but they're truly vapid and if they aren't really like that, then they are doing a huge disservice to themselves by portraying themselves that way. I even gave Caitlyn Jenner the benefit of the doubt. I enjoyed her show because I thought she was learning something and might come to see her way to being a true value to the community. unfortunately, it doesn't look like she's learned anything. 

I can definitely understand stepping away from the Kards... because they are the worst. I think the problem that Caitlyn Jenner has is that her history is so wrapped up in being privileged that she has not had the struggle that many of the LGBTQ have had to endure.  It really is amazing how much gods of fame and money can be a soothing balm.I think sports has more of an affinity to pop-culture, but can understand their exclusion as well.  That being said, I am not a sports guy as well. I mean... I watch soccer, but that doesn't even really count as a sport in the US.

Question 9: Have you ever written or thought about writing a different genre than horror?

I have! I always come back to horror because that's the genre that really had the most impact on me growing up. When I first started writing as a kid i started with a big "friday the 13th" type franchise called "Death Chime" about a killer named Arnie. Right after that I wrote a story called Runaway which was about, if memory serves, an autistic kid who ran away from home. I don't even know how I knew that word or what that was at the time and I am sure it's all completely wrong. I was like 12 and it was 1992 so that wasn't a disease that was really in the national news at the time, at least in any way I would have seen. I've dabbled in crime and wrote a short comedy that Kelly Marie Tran was one of the stars of. Just casually name-dropping someone starring in "The Last Jedi", no big. One of the best things I've written is a western, well, a post-apocalyptic western called The Devil's Hand. Even in Demonic and Other Tales there are a couple stories that aren't exactly horror. One being Prelude which is a sort of dystopian tale and the other being Looking Glass which is a girl dealing with her self-hatred.  So yeah, I've touched on other things but horror will always be home to me.

We've all had brushes with greatness.  I get that you "know" Kelly Marie Tran, but I have had a prolonged EMAIL CONVERSATION with an amazing stand-up and podcaster named Jimmy Pardo. So.. you know I can namedrop as well. I know people.  I met him in Dayton once and Cincinnati a different time.  We're tight like that. (editor's note: remember, Garon is the "intern" for Jimmy Padro's podcast, "Never Not Funny".) 

Question 10: Fill in the blanks: I find that I am mostly _____. Others find that I am mostly _____. 

This is the hardest question yet. I’ve had to turn to Facebook for help.

Out of the responses I got, this one struck me the most: 

I find that I am mostly lost,. Others find that I am mostly on the right path.

It’s an interesting thing to see someone say. I do feel lost some times and it is really touching to know that someone, maybe even someones, think I am on the right path. Still, after a rough couple of years it’s a real new life. I’m sort of rediscovering who I am and it’s an interesting process. Wow I feel like this went way deeper than you might have been after. 

You would be surprised how deep some of these questions end up going, especially with how relatively (deceptively) "simple" some of them are.  This one is always interesting because so many people's self perception does not match how others perceive them. Yours is a perfect example.

Question 11: What is one small thing that you would like to add into your life? (Nothing earth-shattering, I'm not asking for sweeping lifestyle changes here)

An automatic cat litter box. I love my cats but i've been cleaning litter boxes for 16 years. I'm a little sick of it. 

I completely understand that one. I hated cleaning out the cat litter when we had cats. It seems so tiresome because you are never really done.  The second after cleaning out the boxes (we had three cats once upon a time) there was a line of cats waiting to poop in the fresh litter.  Sometimes they stared at my while doing it.

I know that we touched on this a little with Question 10, but this question is just too good not to ask (even though I think we touched upon it a little already). It is a deceptively simple question, that pedants might parse very peculiarly So, Question 12: Are you happy?

I'm getting there. I have some work to do to get there but I think I am on the way. There are aspects of my life I am happy with but to say that Yeah I am happy would be disingenuous. I'm not. I don't fully have the career I want, I have a lot of debt, I have challenges directly in my path that I am hoping to avoid. But, there are times, when I am sitting in my apartment, playing a game or just listening to a record where I feel happy knowing that this is mine and I am doing okay. It's those brief moments that I know I am going the right way and that sooner rather than later I'll be able to answer that question with a yes. 

I think that it is always important to remember that Happiness is a process and not necessarily a destination.  You seem like you are happier in the NNF interactions I have heard lately, and it seems like you are talking the steps necessary to get into a better frame of mind. I am happy for you.

Question 13: Do you have any superstitions or rituals?

I had to really think about that one. I don't think I do. My dad always warned me to put my right shoe on first and never to walk across a handicapped sign. A friend of mine wont "split" poles. In terms of my writing, I almost always start with a title does that count as a ritual? Maybe I should develop some maybe that would help push me into a more creative frame of mind. There are times i settle in to write, grab some chips and soda and then end up looking a youtube cover songs for hours so that might be a ritual. Probably not a good one. 

I would define a ritual as a specific methodology to put yourself into a correct level of readiness. For example, a recent comic book writer that I interviewed had to complete a crossword puzzle prior to doing any writing.  For me as a kid, I would get dressed for soccer in a very specific sequence to get myself in the correct headspace for playing the game. The examples you give about the right show first and the handicapped sign avoidance seem more like superstitions.

I find that people who do not have a meditative practice or are no longer religious do not have many rituals in their lives.  Religion and self reflection tend to come with ritual.  

Question 14: Do you have any (what you would consider) guilty pleasure pop culture vices?

I've come around to the position that there are no such things as guilty pleasures. I feel like that might be unfair to whatever it is you like. If you enjoy it, dammit enjoy it. Who cares what other people think? I love Taylor Swift, I love Hanson, I love pop music, I don't need to let some idiot judge me for it. There was a time when I was afraid of the stuff I liked because of what it might reveal about myself. Like, "I can't let people know I like the Indigo Girls or Bette Midler they'll know I'm gay." Guess what, who cares? They made amazing music. I hate that we still sort of have this stigma about things that we love. It's mass snobbery. Let people enjoy what they enjoy. You enjoy what you enjoy. I'll bump mmmbop and be happy doing it!

I love that philosophy.  I really do.  I think there is too much ironic liking of things that is actual just straight up liking things with some shame for liking something that the person "should not" like.

Question 15: Why do you think that there is still stigmas associated with liking things that people "shouldn't?" and do you think in the age of the Internet that this stigma will start to lessen?

I honestly don't know the answer to that question. I don't know that it's changed much. Look at Justin Bieber. Perfect example. Every single he puts out is a huge hit. Despacito is a huge hit BECAUSE OF JUSTIN. Yet it's a joke or embarrassing, to be a fan of his. It's not just teeny bopper girls buying his records. It's not just them watching these videos and making Despacito nearly the most watched video in YT history. They're a powerful demographic but they aren't doing that on their own. I think with each new generation, maybe this phenom will start to go away, especially with the increase in LGBTQIA identification. I hope we are coming a more open and friendly society and that soon everyone can be free to enjoy the music they enjoy without some douche nozzle making a joke out of it. I think we need to get through this powder keg Trump era first, assuming we do.  Look, I like Justin Bieber, I like Lady GaGa, I like Hanson, but guess what, I also like Fleetwood Mac, Metallica, and what's another band people find "respectable?" I probably like them too. Difference being, I think all of these artists are respectable. Other people for whatever weird reason, don't and that's sad. 

It is sad that people don't feel like they can like what they like. You have helped me rethink some of my loves that I might be a bit bashful about.

Question 16: Is there a line of questioning or a specific question you have been expecting from me?
Not really. I wasn't sure what to expect. I like how we've touched on all sorts of different things and even allowing for some personal experiences and feelings. You're digging deep! 

Oh, digging deep is definitely an issue.  Sometimes I find myself in the hole I am trying to dig out of.  This a relatively fun method of getting to know the people I ask 20 Questions.  I don't know about you, but I know significantly more about you than I did before.  You know I exist, so that's significantly more than before this conversation.

Question 17: What is the next exciting thing for you coming up from a pop culture perspective?
I am beyond stoked for IT. I read through the book again in advance of seeing it and I’m already all in for it. I have the poster hanging on my wall and my excitement level grows everyday it gets closer. Of course, I’m also super excited for the next Star Wars movie. As I’m answering this I am watching an XBOX event announcing games and details about the XBox One X so I am getting really stoked for that, especially for this crazy little game called Cuphead which is done in this old style cartoon animation. It looks super fun. 

Editors Note: Here is Garon’s Tweet Review of IT
 

.@ITMovieOfficial is undoubtedly one of the best straight up horror @StephenKing adaptations. Second only, I think, to The Shining.

— Garon Cockrell (@MyNameIsGaron) September 8, 2017

I have found that one should not get excited for Stephen King adaptations... they seem to rarely live up to the hype and there are way more misses than there are hits.  Now, Cuphead looks absolutely gorgeous... that 1930's animation style is killer.

Okay, it is now the time of the 20 Questions where I turn the tables.  This is always unnerving, because the predator has become the prey.  Question 18: Do you have any questions for me?

What's the weirdest and what's the most profound thing you learned from doing these interviews?

Those is are super interesting questions.  The first part I don't believe I have ever been asked, but the second part I have been asked before in a slightly different manner...

What is the weirdest?... hmmm Not sure about the weirdest, but the most fun was that one person called his sister "poopypants." His sister happens to be Adrianne Palicki, which puts the "poopypants" comment into a much better context. 

As far as the most profound... The most profound thing that I have taken away from the number of interviews I have done, is that people do not take much time to stop and think about themselves very much (even people who have a very strong self-reflection practice such as meditation), and that when in a long form asynchronous conversation, it makes people slow down and react to themselves somewhat.

Okay, penultimate question!

Question 19: What are you taking from these 20 Questions that you did not bring with you?
That I should take time to stop and think about myself. 

That answer is only partially meant as a joke. It's something I don't do. I simply exist. I go to work. I come home. I never sit down and consider. I don't consider what I am doing, what I am after, what I mean to myself or to anyone else. I just get through the day which isn't really any way to live. There are things I want to do, plans I want to make, I just need to get to work doing them and I think my sort of walls of avoiding any kind of serious self consideration or reflection are hurdles I have to clear so I can find a path to being the best me. 

It is very easy for people to get into a very comfortable place that allows for running on autopilot.  That is something that I try to use these 20 Questions to keep me from doing. Of the 20 Questions I ask, 9 or 10 of them are consistent from person to person, but the other half of the questions must be driven by the previous answers. So, after asking about cake or pie, I have to be engaged and try to think of something novel to ask. Sometimes it works, and sometimes I do not hit my intended target.  I think it would be beneficial for most people to put something in their life that absolutely requires being present, it is something I attempt to do often, but it is also something I consistently neglect to do.

I know you never thought you would get here, but... Question 20: What's next? Be as vague or as specific, as concrete or philosophical, and as near term or long term as you would like.

I don't know is the grand, existential answer. I'm still trying to kick off a career and doing what I can to make that happen. If anyone out there needs a screenwriter, here I am! Smaller scale though, I have another book coming out soon called The Darkest Hours which is a collection of 4 short novellas and I am working on some more stories for another collection, of course I'm still a part of NNF and people can always see my nonsense on Twitter. there is some talk about my doing another podcast or a YouTube show. We'll see if that pans out. I've been really lucky that people have liked the work I've done so far and even featured it on a podcast like The NoSleep Podcast. It's really exciting. I can just keep going until something big happens, and I am sure it will. The last year has been trying and personally I'm growing and changing more now than I think I ever have. I'm excited to see what's coming down the road. 

This was fun! Thanks for asking me to do it.

This was fun for me as well.  Thank you so much for doing this.  

Garon is goddamned delight and everyone should get him into your lives in some format. Might I suggest listening to him on Never Not Funny, following him on Twitter and Facebook, see what he is doing with the Pop Culture Beast (PopCultureBeast on FB too), or you can read his honest to goodness book.

To recap:
Irma… wow, Irma
What Irma did in the Caribbean
Wow… brutal
I already have an interview ready for next week
I am on it
Such a good blogger
The lovely wife competed in her first Triathlon Sprint on Sunday

She is pretty sure that it was her last
Super unhappy with open water swimming
But she did great for her first Tri
The Lord of the Rings movie trilogy holds up pretty well
There are issues with it to be sure
But it holds pretty good for a special effects movie from 15 years ago
The wife still loves Viggo coming through Helms Deep’s doors

She likes it an inordinate amount
I need to look at some new Kickstarters
Any suggestions for Kickstarters?
I also need to draw a bunch more
That would happen if I were not so tired when I got home
I need to exercise more as well
Can any of you make any of this happen?
I am entertaining all concepts at the moment
Anyway…
Have a great week everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 375 - Laura House

This week I get the extreme pleasure of asking Laura House 20 questions.  I became away if the delightful Ms House because of a myriad of podcasts she has been a guest on. I have heard her on Never Not Funny, Comedy Film Nerds, and most recently, FOFOP.  She. Is. A. Delight.

I know a few things about her from these guest appearances, but most of all I know she is dead funny and has one of the best laughs ever.  Let's all get to know her better now. Onto the Questions.

I started out my professional life as a cartographer, and one of the things I have always enjoyed is people’s personal geographic stories.  For example, I was born outside of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.  The family moved to Montgomery, Alabama when I turned 3.  A few years later we moved just to the northeast of Birmingham, Alabama where I lived until going off the college.  I went to college 12 hours drive away from home at Kent State University in Northeast Ohio.  There I met my wife and we settled in Columbus, Ohio smack dab in the center of Ohio.  We have been in the Columbus area for the last 19 years.  Question 1: What is your geographic story? 

I love this question. I was born in Dallas, Texas, the actual city. At birth I was put up for adoption, so my parents were in Corpus Christie, a beach town, when I was born. They didn't even know I existed until I was a month old because I had the flu or something and so I lived with social workers as a sick orphan the first month of my life. Then my parents got me and took me to Grand Prairie, a suburb of Dallas, right between Dallas and Ft. Worth. At 16 I was a foreign exchange student. I lived in Sarpsborg, Norway on Hannestadfjellet Street. I was told the word meant something like "Rooster Mountain." It was south of Oslo on the east side of the Oslo Fjord, maybe 10 or so miles from Sweden. I lived there a year. Then was back to Grand Prairie for my senior year of high school. Then I went to UT Austin. After college, I stayed in Austin for a few years, then moved to LA. A year or two into living in LA, I got a great job and in San Francisco and lived there for a year. I moved back to LA and have lived here ever since. My mom has passed, but my Dad still lives in Grand Prairie. They moved once because a new highway went through our old house. My brother lives in Dallas about 40 min drive from Dad.

Oddly enough you are not the only person I have done a 20 Questions with who had a brief stint in Norway and lived in Austin (he still does).  Interesting. My family growing up hosted a girl from Norway.  Everyone's connected to Norway some how.  

I can only guess that your school did not offer Norsk as a language.  Question 2: was it difficult to go for a year into a school where you did not speak their primary language? And by the end of that time could you speak Norwegian?

It was hard sometimes, when I felt lonely and didn't know where to fit in. But I was a teenager - I felt that anyway. I loved the adventure. I loved meeting new people. I loved the family I lived with. Overall it was way more good than hard. And yes, I became fluent in Norwegian. I could also understand Swedish, Danish and German.

I knew that Norwegian and Swedish were super close, but was not aware that Danish and German were that close.  

Now it is time for my typical question 3 that I have stolen blindly from the unparrallelable (better than incomparable) Paul F Tompkins, and then added just a touch to make it a longer question. Question 3: Cake or Pie? Which kind specifically and why?

PIE!!!
Cake is essentially oversweetened bread. It's bullshit. It's nonsense. If it didn't have frosting, it'd just be a stupid "coffee cake." And a cupcake without frosting is a muffin. Pie is creamy deliciousness. And I'm talking about chocolate cream pie, of course. Or French Silk. Black Bottom. These pies are smooth, rich and topped with clouds of whipped awesomeness.  Fruit pies can suck a bag of dicks. Let a dessert be a dessert, I don't need fruit in it trying to mule in some nutrients. Lemon pie is good, too. In a graham cracker crust (obvi).

Chocolate cream pie is the breakfast of champions. I am on board with this decision.

Question 4: Shouldn't there be better and different options other than graham cracker crusts? Graham cracker crust is so weirdly specific and oddly singular.

Short answer - no. Name one crust better than graham. Pastry kind, it's prob good in France but the ones I've had are just flour-y flavorless dough. Oreo crusts seem super fun but it's too much. Graham has a nice flavor that holds up the taste of creamy chocolate or lemon. It doesn't compete or override.

I'm fully open to reconsider my position in some kind of pie-off or such. This has simply been my experience.

Graham.

I was really hoping you had an answer other than graham crackers.  I have been forced to be gluten free in my life and gluten free graham crackers taste like dusty butt.  I was really hoping beyond hope there.  Crushed again by my love of gluten.

Question 5:  What part of your life that you enjoy can you no longer do without undo detrimental effects?

Well, this is easy. I'm 9 years sober. So anything boozy has been bad for me for a long while. Good news is that I love being sobriety. But it really put a dent in my enjoyment of dive bars, big fruity umbrella drinks and making out with strangers.

I would imagine sobriety does bite into the enjoyment of making out with strangers just a bit.  At least it would let some realize (if the making-out-with-strangers situations continue) that the behavior has something deeper rooted than merely a drinking issue.  Congrats on the 9 years.  I cannot imagine the early, and potential continual, difficulty of going to a bar and being sober.  It would be like working in a place with Mt Dew on tap for free for me... I love that green-ish elixir of life.

You are a writer, a stand-up, a podcaster, and a meditation teacher/mentor... Question 6: Do you ever really have any downtime, and if so, what do you do with it?

Funny. My reaction to the question was "I hardly do anything," but I've been too busy for 2 days to answer, so I guess I do stuff. The nature of the things you mentioned is that they function in downtime. I'm not necessarily on stage doing stand-up, but some part of me is observing and processing ridiculous life at all times. Same with meditation. Since I teach it, there's always some new/better way to explain something, some fun new analogy to use. And if I'm not doing any of those, I'm physically writing or head writing (probably called "thinking").  I also teach writing and I act and produce and audition and stuff.

But I love downtime! One way to look at it is I'm always working. But I think in a way I'm never working. Because I love all that stuff and would do it anyway for the most part. But when I'm not doing anything-anything... I've been dating, saw Thievery Corporation at the Greek last week. I got rid of cable and am deep into Amazon and Netflix. Love fleabag & easy & tried to love The Wire but couldn't get into it, even tho Idris Elba. I'm neck-deep in Oz, tho. Damn. And the past few days, when it wasn't Oz, it was Portlandia. Not a common coupling, but maybe because I'm going to Portland today? Not sure.  

I have a dog I hang out with. I have lots of friends like family I spend time with. I have a best friend in New Mexico & road trip with the dog to visit her & her family once or twice a year. TV, dog & friends, I guess. And movies. But that's work in a way. At least I'm told it's a legit write-off.

Well, it sounds like you have the yin and yang of downtime.  It both doesn't exist for you and yet is all around you.  Truly a sound of one hand clapping type of thing.  That and you are crazy busy.  I mean really busy.  wow.

Question 7: what tool/s if any do you use for time management, with your crazy amount of stuff and all?

THE NIGHT BEFORE. My best move is what I do the night before. I plan out my day with appointment times, what to do between them, often what I'll probably eat--if I'm home what I'll make myself or if I'm in a certain part of town I'll think of where to eat there. I also schedule in fun stuff and goof-off time. I don't do this in a rigid way, I do it more in a dreamy kind of "If I could wish for a perfect tomorrow..."

It reduces my anxiety, gives me lots to look forward to, pre-solves problems that may come up the next day, and often gives me new ideas for the day.

Someone once called it a "Future Journal" - you write about tomorrow the way you might journal about something that's already happened today. It's part visualization, I guess, but I don't like close my eyes and go into great detail. I write down what needs to be done in order and how I can build other things around that. I'm writing down a to-do list. I'm just imagining it out a little more. I guess I'm imagineering a great day! Boy, do I sound like a real hippy jerk!

But it helps so much. And when I don't do it, I feel kind of lost in my day.

For some reason when I do this the night before, I'm better prepared for my day, as if I've been coached on "How to have a good Thursday" or such. Like today, I have an appt 11-12. I jotted down things I could do at home before and one was to answer your email. When I sat at my computer, it simply occurred to me to answer your email - like I knew what to do because I thought about it last night. I also know I'll have a vanilla smoothie and I'll start turkey chili in the crockpot. OMG I'M SUCH A SQUARE! Also, for lunch I'll have chili and a Trader Joe's salad because there are 2 in the fridge. etc etc

I mention this and in such detail because it's helped me a TON and maybe it'll help someone else. I feel OVERWHELMED easily, and I juggle a lot of career, information, to-do stuff all the time.

When I visualize/plan it out the night before, I see how it'll all work together and I'll be productive and have down-time and eat well, etc.

So I wake up feeling like it's already going to be a good day.

That is an incredibly easy, yet amazingly helpful method of keeping your schedule together. My time management and organizational management is questionable at best.  I am starting to run into some issues with not accomplishing tasks in an expedient time frame due to my relative lackof organization.  I need to get on top of that stuff.

One thing I noticed... You are making turkey chili in the crockpot and Trader Joe's Chili in the fridge to have lunch... That is a bunch of chili to be consumed in a relatively short span of time.  Question 8: What is it with the chili?

You just wasted a question--

"chili and a Trader Joe's salad"

It's my chili and a TJ salad.  I'm not the Howard Hughes of chili.

No question is wasted.  "I'm not the Howard Hughes of chili."  is one of the best responses ever. EV.ER.

Question 9: Understanding that it is not chili, what are you the Howard Hughes of?

I love this question. Wish I had a super cool answer. But I'll say pennies. In that I save them in jars which of course is pretty normal. But I mention it because earlier this year I wanted a smart TV. 2 months ago I coin starred the pennies & used it to BUY A NEW TV!!!

Real proud of that.

Also - that's a lot of change.

Holy shit... you bought a modern TV with pennies... That is a bunch of pennies.  The cheapest Smart TV I could find was kind of smallish, but we will go with it.  It was around $140.  Let's say you got that TV on sale for 10% of.  That means the price would be $126.  That is 12,600 pennies, and a penny weighs 0.088 ounces.  So you had.... multiply the weight by the number divide by 16 to get pounds... You had nearly 70 pounds of pennies just hanging around?  That is a bunch of copper and zinc.

Question 10:  Fill in the blanks... I find that I am mostly _______.  Others find that I am mostly ______.

I was lazy getting this to friends, then they were lazy getting back to me.

I thought I'd say: I find that I am mostly funny.  But I didn't tell my friends that. I just asked them to fill in the 2nd.

& my friend, superstar Mo Gaffney said:   Others find that I am mostly hilarious.

So I'm either on-track or I slightly undersell myself. You decide.

Actually, she offered options:  Kind or Hilarious or Energetic or Smart.
And she's the only one who got back to me.

I'm glad you took the lack of responses in stride.  Some days I would have taken the lack of responses as a reason to change my response to "not worth their time" and then cry myself to sleep.  

I really love that you said "funny" and your friend said "hilarious." Methinks you do not give yourself enough credit.  You are hilarious, and you can take that to the bank. The bank won't accept it, but you can take it there.

Question 11: why do you think your self assessment is so similar to your friend's response?

Ha. I've done the taking their lack of response personally and the crying, now I'm just like - they're busy.
 
I think my friend's answer was similar because all we do together is laugh. Not all, but mostly.
I have a good group of girlfriends who laugh a ton but we also call each other when we're down, upset, or tempted to go on a murder rampage.

She probably chose to say hilarious because it's part of our favorite time together. The most fun part.

I think you should be pleased that Mo did not say "about to go on a murderous rampage."

This question is one of my favorite ones because its simplicity hides its depth.  Question 12: Are you happy?

Yes, I'm happy.

I say this as someone who's been diagnosed with and medicated for depression 3 times.
I know the difference.
I'm somewhat obsessed with happiness and consider myself a bit of an expert on the topic.

I think we're always in a flux of emotions. Everything external to us is ever-changing, and so are our moods and feelings.
I think what I mean by saying I'm happy is that I know where to find it when I wander far away from it.

I know that my experience is going to come from what I'm giving my attention. So if I'm focused on news, facebook, bills, deadlines, criticism, etc.
--general bad stuff, ie stuff that causes me stress, worry, anxiety - general unhappiness.
I know to turn my attention to things that make me happy, things I feel grateful for.

I know if something keeps bothering me, I either need to work through some kind of upset or resentment and let it go because it's taking too much ofmy attention.
or i need to turn my active attention to things that are pleasing.

Also, I've meditated twice a day for about 10 years. With each meditation, I experience a sense of bliss that's internally generated.
Over time, I've become very familiar with that place and it gets easier to get to.

does that make sense?

That makes perfect sense.  In light of recent electoral events I feel that I should probably start meditating myself.  Clarity of mind is something to relish at the moment.

So, this should be fun.  We are at the exciting Questions 13: Do you have any superstitions or rituals (let me define rituals for this particular question.  In this instance a ritual is a set of systemic actions one takes to intentionally alter their existing state of mind.  For example, when I played soccer in high school I had an elaborate system of actions to get myself prepared for playing a the game.  At the time it was my "lucky ritual" that I started doing because I did it once and had an amazing game, but it turns out it was more of a way of changing my focus from the day to day notions of a high school kid to being focused at the game at hand. make sense)?

Ok. But what were some of your actions in this elaborate ritual?

Oof... well this is a thing that will be slightly embarrassing... okay... it goes as follows.  

1. Briefs... boxer briefs did not exist
2. lucky polka dot boxers.
3. Soccer shorts (they were white so you could see the dots if you looked, I was fashionable, yo)
4. Old ratty Tshirt with sleeves cut off
5. Soccer jersey
6. Inner poly wicking hiking socks
7. Light weight mid-calf cotton sock
8. Shin guards
9. Soccer socks
10. Neoprene knee brace
11. Cleats

By that time I was focused on playing the game

You?

This sounds suspiciously like getting dressed.

I think I do have rituals. I believe I write better if I light a candle. I had a friend who told me that whenever I want to write, to light a candle, then write while it's lit, when I'm done blow it out. So lighting a candle is my cue to write. It kind of works.

I used to try the exact right amount of alcohol to make me have a good stand-up show. I think I landed on a beer & a half. I'm sober now. Also I think they weren't related. I had a good set or a bad set depending on a million other things, like who's in the audience, for one example. But early in comedy whenever I had a good set I tried to replicate what I did. One time I swam laps at the gym then had a good set. I was like, shit, now I have to swim before a set? Now, I think it was that I'd exercised and had some endorphins, some mental clarity. But 23 year olds are dumb. If they believe swimming will yield good comedy, they'll try it. Ultimately I landed on alcohol because it was easier than going swimming, drying off, going to and from the gym, changing for the show, etc. Also I'm an alcoholic, so I have to assume that was part of the allure.

Truth. I do a lot of stuff to influence outcome that is more like, psychological. Like if I have a meeting or audition and I feel "vaguely bothered" or "in my head about something," there's stuff I do. I rarely know what I'm actually feeling. Feelings show up super vague for me. So, like after an audition I'll crave a hot fudge sundae real hard. If I look into it I'll find that "I'm just hoping I get that role" or "I'm afraid I didn't do well." Before a meeting/audition/etc I'll think I feel fine but I'm restless, or easily annoyed. It took me years to notice that when I had a stand-up show, I'd be mad all day. I'd snap at boyfriends and be irritated all day. After the show I'd feel great. I was just nervous. But I didn't feel, "I'm nervous about my show tonight," I felt "God! Why is every driving like a fucking asshole!"  So, that's what I mean, I almost never know what I actually feel.

So, often before a big appointment I do the following.
I'll freewrite for 10 or so minutes - what I'm feeling, is something going on? After that I might right a fear list - what am I afraid of as it pertains to the meeting/appointment. I have a few friends I can call & read them the fear list. They may give input like "Okay, none of that is happening now" or "If you don't get this job it doesn't mean you're worthless - that's extreme thinking," etc. Then I'd take some minutes to pray to have each fear removed. and ask god "what would you have me be?"  Then I sit quietly and see if anything occurs to me. I usually get insight like, "Go have fun, it doesn't matter, be yourself, you've lived your whole life without working there you'll be fine, just show up, just listen," stuff like that. I always feel better. It's a real structured way to deal with fears that I otherwise push down or ignore.

Does that sound weird? It's not something I usually share with people. But I assume we all get afraid about work stuff sometimes.

This is an amazingly wonderful response.

First off, I feel like I need to defend myself just a tad about my pre-game ritual in my youth.  I can clearly see that my prep was very just much like "getting dressed."  That being said, it did involve a very particular way of rolling the socks up my leg and some breathing exercises though.  It was not just me shoving my feet into socks really quickly.

Second off, I love the intentionality that you have in addressing your uneasiness.  That is some great self-care and work right there.  If you think I am not going to try some of that for myself, you are mistaken. I am often impressed by the responses I get for this question, and yours is the most impressive so far.

Question 14: Of the myriad of different things you do (acting, writing, teaching meditation, podcasting, stand-up, etc...) what do you find to be the most fulfilling?

I feel like I want to say teaching is the most fulfilling and performing is the most gratifying.
I wasn't sure the distinction, so I looked them up.

fulfilling is satisfying. gratifying is enjoyable. So I think my instincts were right.

I love teaching somebody something. I love teaching meditation -- people only 100% identify with their thoughts, then they get this whole new experience.
it's amazing to see and incredible to play a role in that. it gives me physical energy and it affects my heart emotionally - it's sharing a heart connection with someone.

performing i love because - oh shit, i just realized it's in the same way. i'm connecting with a roomful of people, but it's different because it's about me initially.
when i teach it's about the person i'm teaching. i share information and experience and I'm tuned in to how they're receiving it. my focus is --is this landing with them? is this helping them?
when i perform, i'm interested if what i say is landing, and i make adjustments for things to land, but 80% or more, I have stuff I'm going to say. I thought of it, i've said it before, I think it's funny.
i'm not trying to get the audience to some new place.

both are about connection, though. i guess i say teaching is more fulfilling because it's a connection but the person is, sorry to put a heavy thing to it, they're changed forever. teaching someone fills in a gap in education or experience with the intent that it benefits the person.

performing, i connect with an audience, or i don't. but when i connect it's mostly super fun for me, they're not going to be forever benefitted by my performance. but we are all sharing nice moments during the show.

I love that you determined that both teaching and performing are aspects of connection.  I definitely have not framed them both through the same lens before. Individual versus group connection.  Even though they are ostensibly for different ultimate purposes, they are still human connections and interactions.  

So... Question 15:  other than when you are teaching meditation to someone, where do you see yourself being most present?

Easy. When I'm making out with someone I like. Next!

That makes sense.

Question 16: Is there a question that you were expecting me to ask that I have not?

I thought you might ask the follow up question of: Have you made out with people you didn't like?

To which I'd have answered: most certainly.

I think most people have made out with people they do not like.  I know many people who have made with people they thought they would like. Turns out many people are not as great judges of character as they are judges of physical attractiveness.

So... Question 17: What do you look for in someone you want to make out with?

I got stuck on this one. What do I look for in someone I want to make out with? To be sadly honest I'm not that picky. I kind of wonder what it's like to make out with almost every guy. When you're 10 ppl say you're boy crazy. Older, ppl call it slutty, I guess. Tho I was never labeled that. I think my baby face protected me.

If I'm at a party & chat with someone for a while, I want to make out with them. I guess if they show interest & make me laugh. I think I'm supposed to look for more qualities but that's about it.

Cute, makes me laugh & wants to make out with me.

No shaming here.  You could want to make out with someone because their hair is brown and we'd all be fine with that.  As long as the make-outs are between consenting adults, who am I to judge.  I would not say that is slutty behavior at all.  Older people are dumb.

So, now I turn the tables for a question.  Question 18: Is there a question/are there any questions you would like to ask me?

Here's my question for you - What's the most gratifying part of doing 20 Questions for you?
& I have a 2nd question. Has someone already asked you that? If so, I want a do-over.

Well, that is an easy one.  I get to know people in a much more thorough and (in many ways) intimate way through this process.  We have been emailing back and forth for 5 months, and honestly I don't often do that with some of my best friends. I will let you in a on little secret.  This process is honestly a bit of an excuse to become friends with people I enjoy on the Internet.  It works to varying degrees. There are people that I asked my 20 Questions to years ago who I consider friends now, and there are people I spent over 6 months corresponding with who might not remember who I am.

Now onto the second question.  Yes, I have been asked that.  You may have a do-over, so Question 18A: Do you have any other questions for me?

If you had the power to change ONE historical event (excluding Trump not being elected)....what would you change and what would you hope would be different in the world today because of that change of history?

Boom.

Wow, this is a crazy interesting question.  The whole idea of the Butterfly Effect makes this question have ramifications far greater than just altering the action.  Historical actions have historical significance and if the action is removed, what does that mean? Private negative experiences are what I have grown from, so I am less likely to remove events from my life that may have been negative to start with because they have made me who I am. To mitigate the potential error propagation, the altered action would need to be relatively personal and recent, so we are no longer talking about any significant historical event and just taking the definition of "historical" as meaning "in the past."  I had loaded nachos today for lunch and it is not sitting well with me.  I think I should have made the time to walk to the market and get something healthier.

So, we are at the penultimate question... Question 19:  What are you taking from this 20 Questions that you did not bring with you?

I appreciate all your big words but I think you avoided the question. Wasn't about personal history, was about World History - if US hadn't made the Louisiana Purchase or brought over slaves or if G Washington did want to be king or if Henry 8 hadn't started a church or if Hitler's parents had been nicer to him ...YOU HAD THE POWER TO HYPOTHETICALLY CHANGE ANYTHING AND YOU DIDN'T!. That's something you'll have to live with.

What I have taken, so really, what you've given me in this experience is a greater sense of comfort in the world.
Sounds big, and it is. But surface-level Twitter is like, no thanks kinda scary. Sometimes there's a sense of finding a like-minded person in a tweet and maybe follow them or go down their rabbit hole posts for a while.
But you were like a hand extending outward in a good way and invited me into what's become about 6 months of intimacy. Honest questions and honest answers. More in-depth than 2 people at a party, unless it was maybe a 6 month party.
So that's what I've gotten. A connection. Which comes with a sense of being seen & heard and on some level appreciated. Which is a great thing, especially amongst all the sound and fury.

Okay, here is the thing.  I will clarify my response for the historical time-altering.  Everything that is now is only because of what was in the past.  I am a big believer in the butterfly effect and non-linear recursive mathematics (chaos theory) which both ascribe to the concept of compounding the effects of change over time or iterations.

So let's look at a historically significant change that many people talk about.  A bunch of people would say that they would go back in time and whack Hitler before he became a force to be reckoned with.  So Hitler started a world-wide war that killed a total of 75 to 80 million people (including the ethnic genocides, civilian casualties, and military losses).  Potentially those 75 to 80 million people would be saved if Hitler had not invaded Poland... but by saving those 75 to 80 million people you have basically made the close to 10 billion people that have come after that war to not ever be. I am one of those 10 billion people and my family is part of that 10 billion.  I like my family and am happy with how my life has turned out, and I like the movement forward by society since the 1940's.

Now let's look at personal tragedy that is life altering, but may not actually effect the overall timeline of world events (as we know it).  On my 19th birthday, I witnessed my best friend's father get hit by a drunk driver.  He was killed and it really messed with me. At 19 I lost my invulnerability, I realized that we are mortal beings who only have a limited amount of time on this rock spinning around a star spinning on a galactic disc.  The trauma of the event altered me to my very core.  The changes that have taken place within me are in no small part due to that event taking place.  The person I met and married, I would not have met and married.  My children would not be, and my best friend who just had a beautiful baby girl would not have brought that life into the world had that even not taken place.  That event, while tragic and despair inducing at the time, has tempered me into the person I am today, and has formed many of the people who I love today.  I do not think I would change that now, 20+ years on.

So, I may have been a little flip in my response about loaded nachos (which were not great, I mean seriously they were like lead in my belly), but I stand by the analysis.  I can happily live with the results of my hypothetical inaction.  I did think it through, and very seriously, because it is a great question.  

Now onto what you have told me that you are leaving with that you did not come in with.  Wow.  I am humbled by your response.  Connections... real connections are difficult to generate in today's digital world.  So much of our interactions are fleeting noises that when we have a sustained connection it actually means something.

I really have relished the contact that we have had, and will miss it when we are done.  I have seriously enjoyed conversing with you via these 40+ odd emails and hope that this conversation has helped us to become actual internet friends.  You are a person I would love to meet up with to share food and laughs, and I hope that the feeling is mutual. I hope that we both make the effort to stay in contact, because you are a goddamned delight.

last one... Question 20:  What's next?  Be as concrete or as vague as you want, as short-term or long-term as you feel comfortable, and as grounded or philosophical as you would like.

FEELING IS MUTUAL!!! Let's stay in touch & maybe we cross paths in human form face-face one day!

Next? Going back to bed. Ha just kidding. i will give you a characteristically super long answer.

Your questions have corresponded with an interesting time.  My boyfriend of 6 years, 2 off/on before that, 10 sort of circling each other before that-- so 18 years of liking this dude, some of those years included travel and holidays together, parents birthdays, hospital visits. Family. Well, he broke up with me in a sentence on July 31. "I don't want to work on it any more."  

So, while I was answering your questions, I was also working on myself -- why was i with him, what was i getting from that, who am i on my own, what do i really want.
the things we explore when things fall apart and it's time to rebuild.

And it's been good. As you clearly understand from your answer to my last question. I didn't want it to happen, but I like where it's gotten me.
I want to act. I came to LA to act, then I shut down somewhere. I've made a living writing and I've kept performing to various degrees, but I know I want to act - so I am.

I will spend the next year boyfriend-free and continuing to pursue my own best interests. all the energy i was willing to use to work on that relationship gets poured back into me.

So what's next is to keep on with where I'm headed. Letting myself show up for the life I want.

Well, I, for one, love you working on yourself and pouring all the energy that was consumed by your relationship into yourself.  I want to remain email friends and will happily email with you for as long as you are willing to put up with me.

I have enjoyed this 20 Questions immensely and, as I stated previously, you are a goddamn delight. I feel like I am a better person for getting to know you better.

As it is, everyone should follow you on Twitter, visit your website, and listen to your podcast, "Will you Med with Me?"

Thank you thank you thank you, Laura.

To recap:
This is a long one but well worth the read
I love asking thoughtful people 20 Questions
It is even better when that person is creative and has a very strong point of view
I really love me some Laura House
Now I need to listen to “Will You Med with Me.”
I have waaay too many podcasts in my repertoire
Did not get the opportunity to march this past weekend
Little Man was in a swim meet
That will eat up some time
He dropped 5 seconds on his 100m fly
It is amazing to see him drop time in such short distances
Hopefully he sticks with it
Netflix’s Voltron Season 2 is up and running
I think I will start my consuming of Voltron now
I still need to watch the series finale of Sherlock
I also have a bajillionty things to do for my job
And I need to invoice a client for a map as well
I have another interview that is just about done as well
Maybe for next week
Have a great week everyone