20 Questions Tuesday: 175 - Khoi Pham

It is a rare and wonderful honor to send out a 20 Questions Tuesday to an Internet artist friend of mine, Khoi Pham.  Khoi is known for his work on Mighty Avengers, Hercules, and X-Men: Legacy.  I met Khoi on the Interwebs through my Internet home away from home, Ten Ton Studios.  He is a very giving artist and a joy to interact with.  I also was lucky enough to sit down with him for some dinner at the 2010 Mid-Ohio ComicCon.  I do seriously consider myself very lucky to have met Khoi and get the chance to interact with him regularly.
 
Since Khoi has kind of exploded onto the comics scene, he has been interviewed ad nauseum about  what got him into comics, who his favorite character is, his drawing methods (you can google those on your own), etc… I will attempt to eschew the tired questions which can be found online at various comic book sites, and pose some questions that he most likely has never been asked in an interview.  And I want these bad boys to be seriously random.

 


On to the questions:
1.   If you had to choose between ice cream and pie (and you could not choose pie a la mode) which would you go for?

Pie.  I don’t scream for ice cream.

2.  I know, since you are constantly on the clock to produce pages upon pages of comic book art, and then subsequently on the hook for going to conventions and getting commissions from fans to draw as well, that you most likely do not get much opportunity to go on vacation.  If you could go on a vacation, where would you go?

Hmm.  I’ve been so busy with family and work that vacation never crossed my mind.  I really can’t think of any one place, especially for more than a few days, so perhaps 4 day weekends at a bunch of different locations.  As long as my wife Heather’s with me, it doesn’t matter the destination.

3.  I know that it is sometimes very difficult to follow your passions.  I also know that you were a practicing attorney of some shape or form prior to making the jump to comics as a full time gig.  Did you get much pushback from family (parents or partner) for walking away from a paying full time career to go after your passion?

At first the idea was met with raised eyebrows, then that turned into suggestions about how I should be the next Scott Adams (of Dilbert fame).  The transition was actually not that abrupt.  I was a practicing attorney while drawing for Marvel for a few years.  As the comic work increased, the decision to drop lawyering was pretty simple.  I do miss lawyering on occasion, especially my colleagues and coworkers, but there is simply not enough time in the day.  I’d do both still if I could.

4.  You have children and I have children, and I know that there are things I have said that I told myself I would never say.  What parenting actions have you done that you told yourself you would never do?

I told myself that I would never drone on and on with my lectures, but I find myself doing that.  It’s a work in progress.

5.  What is your favorite genre of food?

I like a variety of foods, so picking a favorite is difficult.  I know that Vietnamese food is a favorite standby for us when we’re out of ideas, but then, so is Indian food and sushi.  French is nice, too, although I haven’t had it in a while.

6.  What color is your toothbrush?

Purple and white.

7.  Did you play any sports when you were growing up? If so, what position?  If not, what extra-curricular activities did you do?

I played a lot pickup basketball growing.  Total hoops rat, but my parents never let me play organized sports.  They’re crazy controlling Asians like that.  Instead, I did student government.  I also spent a lot of youth playing guitar in rock bands.

8.  Are these questions random enough?  Have you been asked any of these? Should this be considered a 3 parter?

Sufficiently random, thanks!  Interviews do get pretty tedious at times, so these questions are nice.  And no, I’ve never been asked these.

9.  Do you have a studio that you go to or do you work from home?  Either way, what color are the walls of your work space?

I work from home.  I wish I had a studio to go to, but that’s not doable right now with kids everywhere.  I have a designated work station, but I prefer to grab a drawing board and work in the dining room.  Kids bother me less when they can see me.  Weird.

10.   So… Push pins or thumbtacks?  wait that is a really stupid question.  Don’t answer it.  I can come up with something better than that….  Okay, here is a question, why is it difficult to generate questions for someone that you know for a very specific thing, that does not revolve around that one very specific thing?

Scotch tape.

11.  Seeing how you were an attorney and have your JD, but you are also a creative drawing engine, what was your favorite course in your years and years  of education?

I loved all of my criminal justice and criminal law classes.

12.    Since you are a bit of a celebrity to a tightly knit group of fanbois you understand, to a degree, what it is like to be sought after for attention and adoration, Who is a celebrity that you would love to meet?

I really don’t see any difference between celebrities and “regular” people.  Celebrity in and of itself doesn’t impress me.  Intellectuals that have strong moral compasses and compassion impress me, celebrity or otherwise.

13.  How often do people ask you to review their portfolio?  Is that a common occurrence at Cons and such?

Actually, I ask people to show me their portfolios.  When I was trying to break in, a ton of industry folks helped me out and gave me advice, so I want to pay it forward, so to speak.

14.  Any of the portfolios really stand out to you? Good or bad?

Most portfolios that I see aren’t ready, but most could be ready with practice and determination.

15.  What is the most interesting Con experience that you… umm… experienced (I am a wiz with the werds)?

Wow, I’ve been to so many conventions and spent time with so many great people that it’s difficult to single out any one experience.  I guess, in 2004 I went to Mega Con in Orlando as a total nobody, and I remember somehow finding myself partying at Tim Townsend’s house with Tim, Adam Hughes, Scottie Young, Brian Stelfreeze, Cully Hamner, and a bunch of other folks I sure I’m forgetting.  Or maybe that wasn’t as memorable as one year in San Diego convincing Ten Tonners Reilly Brown and Kurt Christenson (with Kurt’s friend Tim and some random guy from Australia named Simon that we met at the hotel) to take a cab out to some stranger’s house party, then being stranded until the next morning because no cab would pick us up and drive us back.  Or one year in Philadelphia where Heather and I got hammered and she asked a bunch of artists to draw fairies for her.  So many good times from which to choose.

16.  What was the last good book you read?  Are there any TV shows that you can’t live without?  What was the last good movie you saw?

Man, I don’t even remember the last book I read, never mind good book.  So busy.  I don’t watch much TV anymore either, asides from children’s shows.  Movies are the same, although I do try, even if I do watch it years after everyone else.  Just watched Captain America, and I really enjoyed it.  Not great, but I was impressed with the way they portrayed women.  Refreshing.

17.  I was born in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.  I  grew up in Birmingham, Alabama.  I went to college in Kent, Ohio.  I now live in Columbus, Ohio.  What is your geographic life path?

I was born in Saigon, Vietnam.  I grew up in Bristol/Portsmouth/Middletown, Rhode Island.  I went to high school in Fall River, Massachusetts.  Started college at Penn State, then transferred to Northeastern University in Boston.  I went to law school at UPenn.  I got my MBA at Saint Joseph’s University.  I now live about 40 minutes outside of Philadelphia.

18.  Okay, one really serious comic book question.  What is it about sequential art that draws you in?

I really enjoy the storytelling aspect of sequential art.  I think I’m pretty decent as an artist, but I really take pride in my storytelling ability.

19.  Anything else you feel I should know about you?

You should know that I’m really private.

20. Any question you want to ask me?

Why mmmmmpig?

I went with “mmmmmpig” because, years and years ago, I needed to create a forum name on a long dead forum.  I had just eaten a wonderful sausage sandwich and had uttered the “phrase” “mmmmm pig” a la Homer Simpson.  That made me giggle so I created a forum name called “mmmpig.”  I ported over to gmail and mmmpig and mmmmpig were taken… wtf?!?!  So I settled on mmmmmpig, and the rest is history… a history of ham and bacon jokes.  The joke is on everyone else though because I really love the porcine meat products.

Thanks for the great answers Khoi!

To recap:
Things are a happening
Hope to give you good news soon
I hope to have good news soon
Good news would be good
Ergo the term “good news”
If it were not good news I doubt they would call it “good news”
Maybe “mediocre news” or just “news,” but definitely not “good”
These interviews have been fun
This was more of a questionnaire
But fun none the less
On vacation next week
Yippee!
Have a great weekend!

20 Questions Tuesday: 174 - Weather

Well, we are going back to the more typical format this week. The last three week’s worth of interviews are abso-fuckin-lutely amaziballs!  I want to thank the 2 gentlemen and Dave again for their interviews.  I have some more interviews on the way.  I have one in the can, that will post next week, I have one about half done, and one into the hands of a great interviewee.  

So this week the weather has finally shifted to the cold part of autumn, so this week’s 20 Questions will all be about the weather.  The problem with this shift is that in Columbus, during the shifty time, is that is swings back and forth.  It is cold and blustery.  It is not so cold and not so blustery. It is cold and blustery. It is not so cold and not so blustery. etc… Anyway… it is now more cold and blustery… except for today, which is not so cold and not so blustery.  

Thanks this week go to Lord Pithy, Dr. B Dawg, and some other guy for the questions!  On to the questions!

1. Weather or not? (Your best interpretation)

Gonna go with not.

2. What is the best response you’ve ever heard or given to the witticism, “Hot enough for ya?”

I saw someone hit a guy square in the face after this question once… I wish I had been the one hitting the “Hot enough for ya?” doofus.

3. As a cartographer, what just sets your teeth on edge when you see it on an amateur map?

It is not the amateur maps that make my blood boil.  It is the professional maps with crappy cartography that piss me off.  Look at USA Today’s maps… Those are affronts to humanity, and the creators of such should be thrown down a hole filled with hungry weevils.

4. Thor or Storm?

For weather? Storm, she has control of weather not just thunder.  To have the sex with? Storm again, hello white-haired African hotty. To drink with? Thor, he can always be the driver cause he has an amazing tolerance.  One from being a god, and the second because he is a viking and they were drankers! To be on my team in a fight? Thor… he’s a god, god-damnit!

5. What is the most beautiful weather event you’ve ever experienced?

Double complete rainbow, all the way.  Look at me, doing an internet call back to a dead meme.  Seriously, when I was 14 I went back-packing in New Mexico and saw a double complete rainbow.  But what does it mean?

6.  Which is better thinking weather, rain or snow

Hmmm… I would say rain… because I wouldn’t be able to think very often if I had to rely on snowfall.  Rain tends to happen more.

7.  Have you ever though about trying to get struck by lightning just to say you defied the odds?

Nope… That thought has never crossed my mind.  Maybe it should rain so I can think about that.

8.  Better looking on average, the weather ladies or dental hygienists?

Gonna go with weather reader ladies.  Those chicks have been vetted and are not limited by talent and skill.  There is a certain amount of skill necessary to be a dental hygenist, so the pool to select teh pretties is a bit larger for the weather readers.

9.  Favorite childhood tornado practice drill memory?

They were all so good.  Kneeling by the wall, asses in the air… that was a tornado drill, yes? This isn’t a set of repressed memories coming back, right?

10.  Would you prefer to live somewhere with regular snow or occasional hurricanes?

Regular snow over hurricanes.  Is there irregular snow?  Snow can be shovelled, while hurricanes destroy shit.

11.  What is an unstable airmass?

An airmass from a broken home? An airmass that is emotionally conflicted? An airmass with one leg shorter than the others?

12.  Warm front or cold front, you decide?

I’m going to go with a warm front… unless it is 90°+ F (32.2°+ C for my metric fans out there… “Hello, Canada!”) out there and then a cold front is appreciated.

13.  So, talk about the slow and steady decline of the show Storm Chasers.

The show started out really fun.  It was interesting to see the craziness of the hurry up and wait lifestyle of the storm chaser.  It has degraded into a soap opera about how egos implode in a camera laden situation.  So far most of the big tornadoes that have happened, seem to be happening away from the teams of storm chasers.  That and seriously Team Twis Tex, You should have put the $60K radar on a different truck. You will never be able to punch through a hail core with serious fragile jack on the back of your truck.  Get a new truck and grow a pair.

14.  Is the Squall line the quadralateral of extreme weather?

What? I have no idea what you are asking… A squall line is a long cold front that might… oh I get it.  Yes.  A squall line can produce nasty thunderstorms, lightning, hail, tornadoes, etc… and a quadrilateral can be a parallelogram, a rectangle, a square, etc… Math and weather? Who are you?

15.  So the weather radar, why did they start using that color scheme?  Green to yellow to red?  really?

I know, the most predominant color vision deficiency is red green, and yellow green is up there as well.  Adding fuchsia and white to the color scheme was a good touch, but really, red/green? Come on!  Walk away from that spanned hue sequence.

16.  So, your thoughts on the sandstorms in Phoenix, Arizona.ack! Sandstorm

They look very biblical, don’t they?  Seriously, some crazy visuals going on with the sandstorms.  Like a wall of nastiness.  I am pretty sure that it would have caused much issue with the kids’ asthma.

17.  Do you consider wild fire to be a weather phenomenon?

Not especially.  Wild fires could be started by weather events and the results of the wild fire could affect weather.  In fact, if the fires get bad enough they can start up a fire storm which is quite the spectacle, indeed.  

18.  So do you like the term “erosion” or the term “weathering?”

For the purpose of this 20 Questions Tuesday, I am going to go with “weathering.”  It sounds more throwback like.

19.  Weather Channel or Weatherbug?  Which is the better online weather forecasting system?

They are both pretty much free, so why choose. I synthesize my own forecasts by combining the 2.  Sometimes they are mildly contradictory so I am confused.

20. Tornadoes, WTF?!? (The “W” in this instance refers to the interrogative word “Why.”)

To teach you a lesson, jackass!

To recap:
I will not have to burden my good questioneers next week
The allergies… they are a actin up
I need a vacation from this 2 job thing
Or maybe just to make job 2 job only
Chinese for lunch today
mmmm Chinese
In the field yesterday
Going into the field tomorrow
I don’t like the field overly much
I have to fill out 3 timesheets at job 1 every other week
All three are paper
I fill out the paper
The admin of our section fills out a form
The accounting group fills out another form
Then it goes to payroll
I need out of here
In triplicate
Have a great weekend all

20 Questions Tuesday: 173 - Dave Anthony

 

Here we go again with a brand spanking new 20 Questions Tuesday.  This time it is an interview with LA Based stand-up comedian and co-host of the Walking the Room podcast, Dave Anthony.  Last week I interviewed Greg Behrendt the other co-host of the Walking the Room.  Oddly I started the interviews at the same time.  Greg finished his interview a week earlier than Dave… Does that mean that Greg has more time on his hands than Dave? Does that mean that Dave is not as “into” his fanbase as Greg? Would the outcome have been different if the two knew it was a race? The world may never know, but Greg won the race.

 Dave has an acerbic wit and a fairly twisted view of comedy. The podcast that he co-hosts with his good friend is quite possibly one of the funniest things on the Interwebs. It is not for the faint of heart though and tends to take dark paths and disturbing highways to get to the funny.  A lesser known talent of his is his twitter feed.  It is enjoyable for many reasons, but I love watching him interact with people as they unfollow him.  So without further adieu…
 
Onto the Questions:

 One of the reasons that I dig listening to you and started watching for you was your interview on WTF with Marc Maron.  I believe it was during that interview that I learned that your wife is a therapist.  My wife was a therapist for many years, and being married to a therapist can be an interesting ordeal to say the least.  Question 1:  Do you see anything in your life now that you can think of that is significantly different since you are married to a therapist?

 I’d like to say yes but not at all.  She’s very good at keeping her therapy out of our relationship and I am a stubborn asshole, so it’s a perfect match.  She doesn’t analyze me or talk about why I am doing what I am doing, etc.  Very occasionally she will ask me why I feel that way, or the other day she asked me, “What makes you happy?” and I just laughed at her and mocked her until the moment was crushed and any hope of a meaningful conversation was destroyed.

 And, yes, she thinks I should be in therapy.

 That is pretty awesome that you are able to keep the work/life stuff separated that well.  It is not often that I get the chance to ask another spouse of a therapist that question, so I typically do…

 I have no good transition for this, but Question 2: Why Manchester United? (who seem to be utterly unstoppable this season so far, and Rooney is playing out of his mind)

 Fantastic question.  When the Premier League began showing on American televisions I really didn’t have a team to follow.  I tried with a few but nothing stuck. Manchester United was the team that was on tv the most.  So, I became familiar with them but I still have reservations about following them because they are basically the Yankees of English football.  Then the Arsenal “invincables” came along. I have never watched a more horrendous group of arrogant, whining dicks in my life.  The only team that had a chance to knock them down was Manchester United, so I started following them.

 I should add that the English Premier League is really two leagues. There’s the teams that can win it all, which currently number 3.  Some teams bob back and forth. In total, it’s a league of about 6 teams.  I follow United, who are in the league this league of 6.  Then there are the rest of the teams, who will never, ever win the title and are just playing for survival.  In that league, I follow Fulham.

 I mentioned in an email to you previously that I had the opportunity to go to the Bobby Charlton School of Football way back in the day, and there is a high probability that I lined up against Beckham (I was, 10 so the memory of who I tackled that night is too foggy), so I have a soft spot for Man U in the top 4 slot, but in regards for the rest of the pack, I also follow Fulham, first because of McBride and now because of Dempsey.  Any team that gives that many Yanks a shot should be rewarded with my interest.

 Question 3: Did you play soccer, or is this an interest that you came to as an adult?

 Yes, I played soccer as a kid.  I was pretty good, actually.  We didn’t have coaches, so who knows how good I could have been.  When I say we didn’t have coaches, I literally mean my friend’s dad was the coach of our high school team and he was a complete moron.  It was extremely frustrating.  I eventually stopped playing and started smoking pot, as God intended.

 I never really got into the illegal substances… it is clearly my loss.  So one thing that I have noticed with the insane amounts of comedy podcasts I listen to is the preponderance of substance abuse within the “comedy scene”

 Question 4: It seems that many of the comedians I enjoy are starting to have kids and still perform. I don’t remember comedians of 10 years ago having kids or if they did, actually trying to be involved in their kids’ lives.  Is this a newer thing or was I just not aware of the father/mother comedians of the 80’s and 90’s?

There were comedians with kids but I just think they weren’t as popular as those without.  Kid comedy isn’t really something the masses love.  It seems to be very repetitive and everyone is telling the same joke.  Louis CK kind of found a way to be different but I bet if someone went back they’d find someone doing similar material years ago.

But you also have to understand you are now far more aware of our lives than you were of comedians in the 80s and 90s.  Back then, you just knew about the comedian because of his material or through the press.  Now you have the internet, which not only gives you access to more material but other aspects of a comic’s life.  Podcasts are a huge thing, but so it Twitter, etc.

My personal belief is if you want to have kids you have to cut down on the amount of time you go on the road.  A lot of comics get caught in the nightmare of having to go out on the road more to deal with the costs of having kids.  That sort of cancels out the reason you have kids.  It also creates more strippers and comedians.

Fair point, I think my frame of reference may be tainting my memories as well.  I am pretty sure when I was kidless, I did not notice as much stuff that was kidfull.

Question 5: So were you aware that Hobotang, a word created by your podcast, is in the Urban Dictionary right now?

It’s a little weird and a little cool.  I think it’s more an indication that we had a word void that had to be filled.  Above ground domesticated hobos have existed for years and it’s time someone gave them a name.

It is also proof of the insanity of our listeners.

It does seem that some of the listeners are a bit off, to say the least.  Not saying that I am not quite bent as well, just that some of the cuddlahs are a bit scary.

Question 6: Any of the cuddlahs honestly scare you?  Any interactions that made you want to avoid eye contact and back away slowly?

Ha.  No one has scared me yet.  But I’m sure that moment is coming.  Anytime you venture into something like this you get someone who is waaay to into it.  It’s inevitable.  That’s why I carry a sawed off shotgun under my trench coast at all times.

It can be a little weird because people know so much about me and seem to assume I know a lot about them but I don’t.  So, it’s a one way familiarity situation.  I’m not really good at that kind of stuff anyway.  I’ve always been the comic who doesn’t go out to meet the crowd after the show.  I’m pretty happy being anonymous offstage.

That over-familiarity of your listeners is actually something that I am fighting in this 20 questions.  Since most of the people who read this blog don’t listen to your podcast, I feel like I cannot really ask some fo the “inside baseball” questions for Walking the Room.  Crickets, Hobotangs, etc…  I feel like I do have a pretty good “History of Dave” kind of knowledge going on here as well.  I listened to you tell your story to Maron, and I have over 70 hours of WTR to call on about your life and likes/dislikes.  Trying to stay away from the typical questions and keep the questions interesting to me is, frankly, kind of difficult.

I am a fairly liberal thinker and tend to be left leaning.  That being said, I made the conscious decision when I started this blog, not to be political in this forum. Question 7: You used to write a pretty political blog "Stop All Monsters,"  did you find being political on the web to be an enjoyable experience or did it just make your blood boil?

Well, I started writing politics on the internet for Suicide Girls.  I was their political editor.  Then I branched out onto my own blog.  At SG it was pretty annoying because the people who go to that site are, ironically, very limited in their thinking.  Not all, but the people leaving comments were largely douchebags.

My own site was better.  I had a few trolls that would post but for the most part it was people who actually like my writing and my point of view who read.  Mostly, I just got fed up with politics and, in particular, Obama.  In my opinion, a very obvious game is being played by Democrats, Republicans and Obama to get the corporations everything they need while fucking over the common man.  And even when we reached the breaking point, they continued on.  I think Obama will end up being one of the worst things that ever happened to the Democratic Party.  So, that’s why I left my blog.  I just couldn’t take what was happening anymore.

That makes sense.  I am clearly more forgiving of Obama than you are, but I am really starting to tire on his administration and their policies continuing the status quo.

So, recently, you got a writing gig for the AMC aftershow, The Talking Dead, associated with their mega-hit The Walking Dead Question 8: Were you a fan of the whole zombie genre beforehand, or of the tWD comic book or show prior to getting the gig?

I am a huge zombie lover but I didn’t read the comic book until I started on the show.  I did get the job because of my zombie expertise and my love of the television show.

I don’t read many comics and those I do read tend to be more like Optic Nerve.   I don’t care for the comic very much.  I think his story development is okay but the characters are weak and the dialogue is not good.

Okay, I got my M.A. in geography and, if I remember correctly, your undergrad is in geography (jealous much?), so I hope this question seems interesting. That being said, this is one of my favorite questions, and I try to use it as often as I can.  I was born in Oklahoma City, OK.  I moved to Montgomery, AL, and then grew up in Birmingham, AL.  I went to undergrad in Kent, OH, and then settled in Columbus, OH.

Question 9: What is your geographic history?  

It’s nothing as grand as moving around the Oklahoma, Alabama, Ohio triangle.

I grew up in Marin County, California.  Specifically, Fairfax, home of that American Taliban guy.  I lived in the same house until I was 18, when I moved to San Luis Obispo for 1 year to go to college at Cuesta. (Hold on, I was in college forever)  I then went home and went to College of Marin for 1 year, then I went back to San Luis Obispo for 2 years.  Then I went to UC Santa Barbara for 3 years.  If you have any grasp of math, you will see that I stretched my college career out to 7 years.  That’s fucking impressive.

After college, I moved to San Francisco for 5 years, then moved to New York for 4 years, then to Los Angeles, where I have lived eve since.

During my stand up career I have visited every state in the continental US, which is pretty cool.  Still haven’t been to Alaska but plan to at some point.

Question  10: So which of these places do you consider “Home” with a capital “H?” For example, I lived in the Birmingham area for 15 years where I grew up, but I consider Columbus home, because Birmingham may have been where I spent my formative years, but Columbus, is where I built/am building my life.

I considered Fairfax home for a long time but once I got married and had a kid, LA became my home.  It’s weird because we are trained in Northern California to grow up hating LA, yet here I am.

I’ve liked everyplace I’ve lived except New York.  I think it’s a dehumanizing shithole.  I can’t understand how people love it so much but I think that might be a west coast thing.  Growing up here it’s all open and spread out.  Could never adjust to the compacted existence of NY.  And the heat.  And the subway.  Seriously, fuck that place.

It is amazing how getting married, having a kid, and raising the youngun will almost immediately change where you consider home.  Sadly my Birmingham, AL home stopped being my home when my childhood cat died during my super-senior year at Kent State, Columbus became home for me soon after being married.

Question 11: So, speaking of kids, how old is your little boy and are there any of his shows that he relentlessly wants to watch on TV (making an assumption that he relentlessly wants to watch something on TV, because he is a kid and that is what they do) that you secretly enjoy?

He’s 2 1/2.  His name is Dangerous Top Anthony.  He enjoys Curious George, anything with garbage trucks and Sons of Anarchy.

I do not really like any of his programs.  They are rather juvenile.

Seriously, I don’t like anything he watches.  Franklin can go fuck itself a million times.

I hear that.  Franklin is a whiny bitch of a turtle, and don’t get me started with that wuss Caillou.  What the hell is the that name to start with?  Really with kids programming it really is choosing the lesser of the evils presented, and, yes, it is all evil.  I knew I was watching too much kid’s TV when I started finding Mrs. Foil from The Upside Down Show to be a hotty.  Yep, I started doing other things right then and there.

Question 12: So, when the wee one is partaking his Curious George, and Franklin, and whatever other crap, does he ask you infuriating questions about what is going on in the insipid show you are trying not to watch, just to try and make you watch the eyesore moving pictures on the TV, when he knows that you are trying your damned best to not have to watch?… ummm. Yes, that question is for you… actually, what does the wee one allow you to get away with whilst he is viewing his shows?  For me, it is stuff I can do on my phone.

He lets me do whatever when he’s watching TV.  But he doesn’t watch very much tv right now. Mostly playing with cars and trains and for that I have to just sit there and do what he says.

He’s a Nazi.

Oh, god, I remember the trains, oh do I remember the trains.  My boy fell in love with trains at the age of -1 and played with them near relentlessly until he was 6.  It got so bad that he made us by DVD’s of trains made by creepy train lovers who hang out at crossing gates with video cameras.  Those guys are one panel van away from touching kids.  Anyway…he started with the wooden trains like the Thomas ones, but didn’t like Thomas, because Thomas is a whiny bitch, and he wanted to play with trains that he could see in real life that didn’t talk.  When he turned 5 we got him into the Tomica Wolrd battery operated trains and he loved those.  At 6 he moved on to planes and now is firmly ensconced in LEGOs.  So it does get better. I should start a video campaign for dad’s stuck with shitty kid’s TV shows and horrible play times….

Question 13: Since this is 13 it is time to ask about superstitions.  Do you have any superstitions.  As an example, the closest thing I had to one was a very ritualistic way of getting ready for soccer games… a specific way of putting on the socks and shin guards, etc… anything like that.  Could be associated with going on stage, or a pre-writing ritual, or maybe you need to circle the bed three times before lying down? Anything you can think of that is at all superstitious?

Well, that’s weird.  I was just murdering my nightly goat in order to get a good nights sleep.

No, actually.  I have no superstitions.  Probably weirder to not have them.

That is not particularly surprising.  You seem to be a pretty much “no fuss, no muss” kinda guy, and superstition and ritual don’t really seem to be in your bag.  Honestly, for you, I would have been surprised if you did have a superstition.

Question 14: Other than hang out with your kid, or podcast with Greg, what do you enjoy doing with your downtime?… do you have downtime?  I have no idea how things work out there in the entertainment business.

I’m so busy right now I have zero free time.  That’s part of the entertainment business.

It always seems to be all or nothing.

When I’m not working I like to lay around and do nothing.  I excel at doing nothing.  I used to play a lot of video games before my kid was born.  Now I pretty much watch movies and stare at the Internet.  Occasionally, I enjoy going for a bike ride.  But I haven’t had any free time in ages.

Now I’m sad.

I live to serve… I have finally gotten you sad, soon I will have you crying.  I am the Barbara Walters of teh Internets!

Question 15: Tell me about your mother…
Cry!  Why won’t you cry!

Okay, real Question 15: Speaking of sadness, this is a question I also asked Greg Behrendt, your co-host of Walking the Room.  How close to your day to day interactions with Greg are the Walking the Room podcasts?  I assume they are just polarized versions of your friendship where you both consciously exaggerate your typical behaviors to create teh comedies, but it would crack me up is that is just you 2 recording a typical conversation.

It’s pretty close.  Whenever we talk we’re fucking around and trying to make each other laugh.  Obviously, there’s the understanding that we are talking in front of an audience, so we want the podcast to be entertaining but we’ve always fucked around like this with each other, always tried to make each other laugh.

We do exaggerate our behaviors a bit but that’s what you do.  We are both pretty much being as honest as possible, though.

I am impressed at how similar yours and Greg’s answers were to this question.  I honestly find this to be absolutely beautiful.  That is an amazing friendship that you have and I hope that you cherish it greatly, because it is super fun to listen in on.

Question 16: Do you find yourself editing your happenstance conversations with Greg because you think a particular topic would be great for the podcast and you don’t want to “waste” it just with an everyday un-recorded conversation?

Yes.  There are certain things that will happen and one of us will say to the other, “I’ve got something to tell you but I’m saving it for the podcast.”  Certain things are just too perfect.  I usually write them in my phone and am trying to push dumb ass to do the same but he likes to wander around and stare at palm trees and not actually make notes.

A lot of our off air conversations are now business conversations because off all the stuff going on around the podcast.  Shows, merch, etc.

I hope that this does not mean that your typical conversation will become tiresome and too businessy.  It would be tragic if you were only having conversations that are equivalent to spreadsheets, and not the faux vitriol laden insult fests that we get to peak into through the magic of podcasting.  

Question 17: Since we are winding down to question 20, and since I am not above letting you turn the tables on me.  During the course of this set of questions, have you thought of any questions you want to ask me?

Our fans seem to be more active and interested in the show than other podcast fans. Why do you think this is?

Greg asked a similar question of me, and I can honestly only speak for myself and guess at the rest of the cuddlahs addiction to the podcast.  For me, I have always tried following comedy, which is pretty difficult in central Ohio.  Podcasts really became a revelation for me.  Some of the comedians I loved seeing on Comedy Central or on hour long specials started making podcasts.  Through listening to other podcasts I followed a breadcrumb trail to Walking the Room and I started listening to you guys I think on Ep 2, so going back through the back catalog was fairly simple.

I think your questioning of what the hell is going on in your professional career drew me in.  Your incredulity of who has become successful in spite of their lack of ability resonates with many people.  I identify with your looking back at where you are and wondering how the fuck you got there and where you can go from here.  Your overall themes are very identifiable and relatable. We, the listeners, are basically listening into a private conversation between friends, who are just being who they are.  We get a very candid look into your lives.  Coupled with that content is the intimacy of the delivery method.  Your content is consumed individually via earphones or solitarily in a car.  It is a very private and intimate experience wrapped in failure and the smell of sadness.

It is that combination of candidness and intimacy that creates a bond between the cuddlahs and you and Greg.  Does any of that make any damn sense?

The clever turns of phrase keep me coming back though.  Seriously, Hobotang?  That is fucking brilliant.

Question 18: Any questions you can think of that I did not ask you, that I should have?

Q: Where do you think the podcast will go?

A:I think we will end with an actual army and invade a small country - perhaps San Marino - then we rename it Old Corndog and start breeding.  After that it’s anyone’s guess.

I am afraid of what the flag for Old Corndog would be… Very scared.

Question 19: Is there anything that you are not amazingly cynical about? Seriously, you take sarcasm to a different level.

Yeah, I’m not actually that cynical when it comes down to it.  i think it’s mostly just show business that I’m cynical about.  I’m also not too thrilled about the course of our country but that’s a pretty common belief at this point.

I think eventually teddy bears will rule the world.

I love that your delivery of this cynicism takes the form of a pretty biting satire.  I think that your kind of satire is a dying art and I love being able to follow your diatribes against Trump and the Kardashians on your Twitter feed.  You, sir, are the wrong kind of funny, and should be way more famous than you are. In fact, your lack of fame angers me.

Question 20: is there anything that surprised you in these 20 questions and answers? Is there anything you take away from this that you did not have before this interview?

That’s a tough one because it was so spread out.  Do I have to now go back and read my own blathering nonsense?  I guess so.

Now I have done that an my answer is “no.”  Apparently I have taken nothing from this interview.  I hope that makes you feel good.

You cut me to the quick, Dave Anthony, you cut me.  This pain is immeasurable and unyeilding.  How will I make it through the rest of my life, much less the night, knowing I have affected you so little?

Thank you so much for putting up with this interview and its long drawn out tiresome process.  I really feel honored that you took this time with me, and I have really enjoyed your answers.  Seriously, you spent an ungodly amount of time answering these questions, and I didn’t pay you shit and I can’t monetize my Tumblr since only 13 people look at the site.  You should be very happy to know that any other emails you get from me will primarily be notes about how I think you can make Walking the Room better (two words: penguin shit…. and two more words: Greg’s closet.  So, in total, four words: penguin shit Greg’s closet.  Add the word “in” for your own benefit, if you want, but I think it is implied)

To Recap:
Next week a normal 20 Questions Tuesday
Then an interview with Khoi Pham
Comic Book Artist par excellence
He is a badass
Halloween happened last night
The kids loved it
The sugar coma will last for a week
The girl loves her some chocolate
I need some sleep
Tonight I am going to bed in the early times
If you want to be interviewed or want to ask me questions…
Drop me a line with your email on it
Enjoy!
Have a great weekend, everyone!



20 Questions Tuesday: 172 - Greg Behrendt

It is my great pleasure to be able to ask 20 questions to one of my favorite comedians, Greg Behrendt.  He is known for a bunch of various reasons, some of which you may actually know… right now he is the co-host of the podcast Walking the Room and the spin off subsequent comedic shows known as the Starfish Circus… that tend to happen in LA, but not in Columbus, Ohio…. which makes me a bit jealous of the denizens of LA. (technically it is L.A. and not LA, they aren’t doing these shows in Louisiana for God’s sakes!).
 
Anyhoo… there is no reason not to start the questions… so here he is, Greg Behrendt, upon you like a griffen, gryphon, griff… whatever.  onto the questions!

My wife loooves baby-name books.  Due to this love of all things baby-naming, it was subsequently very difficult to come up with baby names that were acceptable to all parties involved in the actual naming of the kids.  It was a long drawn out process involving lists, playground taunts, and limited veto powers.  We came up with 2 names that we really dig, but it was a bit of a chore to do that.  Your kids’ names are fairly unique, yet still accessibly and easily understood.  So the question is… Question 1: How did you and your wife arrive on your kids names?  What was the process?

My wife and I like music, and my wife and I like books. And our last names suck. So our thinking was lets come up with self contained first and middle names so they could drop their last name if they wanted and still be themselves. And we thought if they sounded like characters from a novel or members of a great band and if those names could have aspirational value we’d be home. So your get Bella True 9 and Mighty Luna 6. And to be fair my wife was the driving force behind the names. Otherwise they would have been called Camerosmith, and Brian Setzer Girl.

That is really well thought out and articulate.  Many people we have met just look through a list of names they like and pick.  Though, I have to say that I am a bit surprised at how saddened I am that you did not name them Camerosmith and Brian Setzer Girl.  In the end we went with names meaning God’s Gracious Gift and Bright Shining One (Zane 8 and Eily 3 for those scoring at home for bloggy purposes I have referred to them as Little Man and Q… you share and I share, I am equitable like that… For the record, Eily loves listening to “True and Mighty” but not quite as much as she enjoys “Short Pants for Fatty”)

Question 2: You design pants, play in a band, make a podcast, do stand-up, and write…. what do you do in your free time to relax and unwind, or can you relax and unwind?

None of those thing with the exception of stand-up really make me any money so they are what I do to relax. I love to work on a project. I love working w people.  Doesn’t matter what it is band, writers room.  I also hang with my wife and girls a lot. In pajamas at 6pm on a Friday eating pizza and watching a movie is my idea of fuckin’ heaven.

It is amazing how having a family and being committed to said family will change your Friday evening priorities.  Your Friday night sounds rather heavenly.

So, I am trying to avoid the hack questions because there are many great interviews out there that you have done.  Within the last year you have guested on a number of podcasts, as well as hosting your own, other than Walking the Room, Question 3: Which podcast you have guested on have you enjoyed the most?

Never Not Funny hands down. It’s the podcast that revived my comedy career. It’s host is truly one of my favorite comics and people of all time. And Jimmy’s support of WTR has definitely helped us build a fan base. And then those fans realize they’re good people and go back to just listening to NNF!

Jimmy is quite possibly one of the funniest humans alive and NNF was my gateway drug to many a comedy podcast.  Truly, I listen to an insane amount of comedy podcasts.  In this drudgery of the day job I watch many a progress bar slowly creep across the screen… lots of free time on the hands, I say… lots of free time.  This was one of the reasons I asked your about free time…. I have lots of job free time. Did I mention my freetime? Question 4: So, I know that my contact with you is something that would not have happened even 5 years ago.  How has social media altered how you have to deal with people who are not in the entertainment industry?

Did you get my answer to three!

I believe that might be the most accurate and concise answer to Question 4.  I thought you were making a statement about your comedy career  ”revival” and how the NNF ep and new/social media was how you jump started that process

I would like to add. I’m not a cynic when it comes to social media. I like that I’ve not only made fans but friends out of it! And a few sold business partners!

So, Question 5, without a smarmy segue, it is safe to say that you might have a sweet tooth, all things being equal, what is your go to confection? (mine is Vanilla Bean Cheesecake… I have very little will power against it, I have eaten a half of the whole cake in one evening before… It wasn’t pretty, but it was pretty impressive, I think my wife started fearing me at that time)

I’m still pretty high on the chocolate caramel Tim Tam. I’m sure I’d marry it if I could. But last year I attended a wedding where they had double chocolate cake with salted caramel filling and I’d kill you for another piece.

I’m listening, I am hip to that jive…. That sounds lovely, almost like a turtle sundae but with cake.  Knowing what is good for me, I have been able to avoid the Tim Tams so far (pretty sure that would be a soon to be empty package), but a wedding cake?  Yeah, that’s perfectly acceptable in modern society.

Question 6: You are very introspective, and very knowledgeable about yourself.  You seem (nothing implied here, I haven’t ever met you for reals and such) to be pretty intelligent and well-read.  That being said, you are also a performer who goes in front of people to make them laugh.  Would you consider yourself an introvert (quiet time with the fam and singular solo efforts) or an extrovert (gregarious [pun not intentional] and seeking to entertain others)?  Which really gets your batteries recharged?  Do you need the quiet time to be able to perform, or does the performance give you the energy to spend time with yourself?

Great question. I’m not overly gregarious… I think before I got sober and before I had any success I may have been a bit  overbearing needy and self seeking, but sobriety gave me the ability deal with it, and that in turn gave me all the things I have and I only got those things by being patient and being quiet. That’s not to say I don’t have my moments but at least I recognize them and  try and auto correct.  I need quiet to perform but the chaos of everyday life to write.

Speaking of the sobriety, one thing that I have learned by listening to 40+ hrs a week of podcasts is that there is a shit-ton of substance abuse within the comedy scene. Question 7: I am seriously curious about this, in your expert opinion, are the substance abuse issues inherent to the business or is it brought by the baggage the comedians are carrying with them?

I am not an expert on the topic but substance abuse problems are just people problems. Insurance adjusters are just as likely to suffer from the terrible self loathing that often leads to alcohol abuse as artists. Comics are not special or or entitled to more bad behavior than anyone else. We just happen to have forums to discuss our travails publicly. We may however be funnier drunks than the rest of the lot. Then again maybe not :)

Fair enough… I have not noticed illicit substance abuse at my jobs, however there have been some serious alcoholics and probably some prescription stuff that went un-noticed by me.  I guess due to my lack of popularity and my general disdain for people (one is a consequence of the other, but it is kind of chicken egg all up in that), I also have not been invited to the “partays” where serious (or frivolous) drug usage occurs.

Onto a completely different line of question.  You may know this about me, but I am a cartographer.  I love maps and I love the idea of places.  I was born in Okalhoma City, OK, moved to Montgomery, AL for a short while, grew up just to the northeast of Birmingham, AL, went to college in Kent, OH, and settled down in Columbus, OH. Question 8:  What is your geographic story?

West coast! Born in San Francisco in 63 moved to Marin County in 73 went to the University of Oregon 81 back to San Francisco 86 moved to Los Angeles 94 and that’s my story. West coat baby. My wife’s family lives in Hawaii and I’ve spent a lot of time there. For my money the best place on earth!

I have heard that Hawaii is tres tres spensive, due to how far from mainland anything it is.  The cost of living there has to be through the roof. Crap, my Midwest sensibilities just buzzkill everything.

So, I heard something odd the other day on one of the podcasts I frequently numb my existence to when I am at job 1.  This person was saying that men’s cargo shorts were the equivalent to women’s sweatpants with writing on the ass… appropriate for the young and hip, but passe and gauche for established adult males.  Since you are the closest thing to a male and masculine (emphasis on masculine) fashionista I know of Question 9: Are cargo shorts gauche for men late 30’s and up? and if so, what is their in kind replacement?  I love my cargo shorts…. save me!

I’m not a big fan of letting anyone decide how I’m gonna dress myself. Make your own rules. If you feel good in it it’s right . Period. Find the things that make you feel like the guy you came here to be. Taste makers and arbiters of style are just people that don’t want to get real jobs. A man isn’t a man until he owns his taste! So cargo the fuck out of it!

That is a fashion philosophy I can live with.  

Firstly, I have to thank you for hanging in there with me.  This has taken up waaay more of your time than you most likely expected.  Question 10:  Can you believe we are only half way done with this?  I need to ask more yes/no questions

I’m into it. I like it. BRING IT!

Consider me bringing it.  It has been broughtened. Question 11: You have a very strong amount of energy in your sets and in your podcast.  Do you ever shut it down, or do you bring that same amount of frenetic energy to PTA meetings, going to the grocery store, getting new shoes, etc… ?

I can be an excitable but I really only need that energy to create, not to live. I’d be more unbearable than I already am. My wife tells me I’m loud though.

I tend to be rather laid back and even keeled, so I always enjoy watching people with energy do their thang.  Yours is some frenetic energy that I could watch everyday.  

Question 12:  So you played rugby in college, and the Rugby World Cup is going on right now.  As of this time Wales, France, Australia, and New Zealand are still in the mix… are you still interested in rugby, and if so, who you got for winning the WC?
I left it on the field in college. I spent the first 20 years of my life trying to be an athlete and meeting with very little success until I joined the rugby club senior year of high school. We went on to win the Nation Championships in ‘81 and it was the highlight if my sporting life. I tried to stick with it in college but the allure finally wore off. I broke my hand on a guys forehead sophomore year, quit, and went directly to the theatre dept. and never looked back.

Well, rugby ain’t my game, but looking at the stats really quickly, my money (if I had any) would be on the New Zealand All Blacks (Editor’s note: New Zealand won Vs France with a score of 8 to 7).  They seem to have destroyed almost every other team so far.  I played soccer as a kid and in high school and enjoyed non-varsity level fencing in college, which leads me to a question that I have asked others…

Question 13: Prior to games in high school, I had to put on my socks and shin guards on a very particular sequence and at fencing tournaments, I needed to follow a pretty strict sequence of stretching and exercise.  Since this is Q13, do you have any superstitions? A certain set of actions you have to do prior to taking the stage, a song you have to listen to prior to exercise, you have to circle the bed three times before you can lay down to sleep (like some kind of family pet), NO WIRE HANGERS!!!!.. You know some kind of superstition? Anything?

No hats on the bed! I wear hats. I also love the movie Drugstore Cowboy. No hats on the bed. Bad luck. I’m not very superstitious but I do not put or allow hat’s on the bed.

How wonderfully random and particular.  It is interesting that there are 2 potential origins to that superstition.  The first is that often crowns were placed on the funeral biers of rulers and the equivalent was a hat on the bed, and thus signified a death. The second is that Italian priests with their funky hats would never take off their hats unless they were at bedside and putting on their priestly vestments to give last rites. They would place their hat on the bed and then eventually that person would die (for those unfamiliar with that particular superstition, I have my brown belt in Google Fu)..

Question 14:  So, I have a 3 yr old little girl so I am sure that I will be doing some super girly girl things in my future.  Currently, she has not gone completely girly girl (even though she does like brushing my hair sometimes).  Since you have 2 girls, what is the girly girl thing that you found yourself doing, and thought, “I Never would have thought I would be doing this?”

I never really thought about it. That’s telling:)  However I refuse to play dolls. Not because it’s girly but because it’s flat out painfully dull. Can’t do it. But we’re at card games, bike rides, Wii, and I love all the painting and drawing stuff. I have two of their drawings as tattoos. To be fair I relish every freaking second with them. I can’t get enough.

Ha!  For full disclosure, I am not saying I won’t do girly girl stuff, just that I will notice doing the girly girl stuff.  I too have made it to the store with a barrette in my hair.  Yeah, I think playing dolls will be the death of me, but luckily she is into her older brother’s interest right now.  She is going as Jango Fett for Halloween.  It is going to be awesome.

Question 15: So, for Halloween, are you taking the kids around the neighborhood as the Silver Surfer or are you getting a Galactus costume together and making your kids into the heralds? (if it is the former, no pics please, if the latter, tons of pics please)

I’m not really a costume guy anymore. I let the girls have the fun and I do the door. Last year I went clown from the neck down. This year I’m gonna be a convict. I love how into it they get. It’s their night :)

I was really hoping that you were the Galactus to their heralds, but it is understandable to not upstage the kids.

Well we are nearing the end of the 20 questions, so, Question 16: Are there any questions that I didn’t ask you that I should have?

I let you know when we’re done :)

Good enough.  I have been dogging you for questions for a good long while now, so Question 17: In the course of all these questions, is there anything you would like to ask me?

People who love podcasts seem incredibly dedicated not only to the show but to their hosts as well. Why do you think that is?

That is a good question.  I think it boils down to two main factors.  The first factor is that podcasts are completely by choice. The choice of the creator to   The creator of the podcast is trying to get SOMETHING out, whatever that may be.  The podcast almost always seem to be a true extension of the creator/s.  In many ways it allows people to see the behind the scenes persona and sometimes the vulnerabilities of the creator.  That level of vulnerability seems to bond the viewer to the creator.

The second factor is that the method of ingesting the podcast.  Listeners typically listen to podcasts on their own.  That makes the podcast a very intimate experience for the listener.  It ends up being like the listener is a silent participant in a candid conversation.  I think that is why WTF, Never Not Funny, Walking the Room, Mental Illness Happy Hour, Nerdist, TOFOP, etc… tend to create rabid fans of the podcast and the artists on the podcasts.

So the combination of the creators creating and people searching out for those creations, and then the intimacy engendered by the medium create the rabidity of the fanbase.

So Question 18, (I will turn the tables on you) does the fanatical fanbase alter your creative process for the podcast, because you are concerned about losing their listenership?

The fan base of this particular endeavor only makes it possible for me to take bigger risks and get better. We never promised anyone anything so therefore we can do what we want. Certainly  we care about the quality but if the show succeeds it does because we’ve achieved our goal of pleasing ourselves.  When you take a deal at a network there is an understanding that you are trying to make a hit show that will run forever and make everyone a big chunk of change. And that is a really hard way to create anything. You ultimately aren’t doing it for yourself you are creating for others which is impossible. If I make Dave laugh I’m almost certain you will laugh. Or hang yourself.

So, this is a question I have had on my mind since I started asking you questions.

Question 19: How close to your day to day interactions with Dave are the Walking the Room podcasts?  I assume they are just polarized versions of your friendship where you both consciously exaggerate your typical behaviors to create teh comedies, but it would be delicious if that was just your everyday conversation with Dave.

Dave and I have such a long and kinda complicated relationship. There was an almost 3 year period during our 22 years of knowing each other where we did not speak but I would say still thought the other one was hilarious. The cuddle is only slightly exaggerated. His insults make me laugh because they are accurate and the flip side of a compliment. He is oddly the easiest person I’ve ever worked with in comedy.  Super open to ideas, always laughs, ok with failure. and easily the funniest guy I know.

At the risk of sounding sentimental and a little bit maudlin, your relationship with Dave really is a beautiful thing.  When you look past the surficial taunts and faux disgust, it really is a wonderful interaction to watch, and I think that is why people continue to listen to your particular podcast.  The content is funny, there is no denying some of the golden phrases that have happened during the podcasts, but it is the interaction and genuine care for each other that brings people back.  Your friendship is clearly the backbone of the podcast, and that shows through.

So, the last question in this 20 Questions Tuesday (other than you revisiting Question 16 concerning questions I SHOULD have asked)

Question 20: Is there anything that surprised you in these 20 questions and answers? What can you take away from this that you did not have before this interview?

I guess if I had a question I wanted you to ask me it would be this. “Given that you rant so much about your career how do you feel about what you’ve accomplished so far?” And I would say that after reading my answers to the questions so far is that “I have it pretty damn good.”

Yes there have been peaks and valleys but because your questions were so good I was able to see that I’ve had a great run. Have there been disappointments?  Sure, the fate of Greg Behrendt Show, certain haircuts! But there have been more surprises and triumphs like Letterman, 3 Comedy Central specials, and one HBO Special, He’s Just Not That Into You, Walking The Room, The Reigning Monarchs, and I feel like there is a lot left to do.

I’d love to make some kind of bigger impact in comedy whether it be just podcasting, the Starfish Circus, making something with Dave or my wife. I’d also like to make the single greatest surf and ska album of the new millennium and make and sell custom cardigans and tux pants! This has been a blast. I will miss your e mails.

Okay, I am not sure you could possibly know how much it means to me that this odd set of questions had any kind of self actualization to it.  I am humbled by that and in awe of your willingness to answer these questions so thoroughly and candidly.  You are a rock star and a wonderful soul.  I feel truly privileged to have had this level of interaction with you.  This has been a great great interview.

To recap:
Sweet good god damn this was an excellent interview
Seriously, wow
Wifey is back in town
She is at a local version of a book launch today
Today, is of course Oct 25, 2011 (for those of you reading not on the release day)
Walk Out Walk On, page 188, bitches!
That also means I have been at this job for a full year
And I am no longer on probation
So, there is a bit of a sigh of relief here
I am now more difficult to fire from the job I don’t like
And I will be the only person in the office tomorrow
Week 11 of 13 for contract job 2
Would love to interview anyone out there
Let me know if you want to do 20 Questions Tuesday
More interviews on the way
Have a great week folks



20 Questions Tuesday: 171 - Chris Burnham

It is Tuesday again and time to post this bad boy… today I am posting to both the blogspot site and the new and shiny tumblr site… it is shiny… so so shiny. Get ready folks, I am porting over to tumblr…

I belong to a comic book artists forum called Ten Ton Studios. If you go through my archives you might see some of the work that I have posted there. Anyhooo…. one of the “officers” over there is a fellow by the name of Chris Burnham. He is one of the most detailed pencillers I have ever seen. His lines are chock full of potential energy that you can almost see them vibrate off the page. He is technically precise, while allowing himself to be almost whimsical with some of his shapes.

I asked him if he had any books to plug and he suggested (his words, not mine)Officer Downe: Bigger Better Bastard Edition - an oversized hardcover edition of last year’s sold out critical smash, complete with all new art & backup features” as well as Batman, Inc.: Leviathan Strikes #1. Both of these books are slotted to come out in December of 2011. Officer Downe on December 7th (hmmm 70 years ofter the attack on Pearl Harbor? Coincidence? I think not) and Batman, Inc coming out later that month.

Enough of the jibber jabber! On to the questions:

So when I was in high school, I was quite un-abashedly a comic book geek and a nerdy nerd from Old Nerdtowne Question 1: How would you have classified yourself in High School and looking back, how would you classify your high school self now?

High school… I’d say that I was an upwardly mobile nerd. I had a pretty solid squadron of fellow nerdy types but I mixed pretty well with everyone else. I went to a really small private school - my graduating class was something like 54 people - so everyone got to know everyone else pretty well. Which has its pluses and minuses… Sidebar: in 7th 8th and 9th grade I was a SUPER dweeb and a real late bloomer (I’m 6’3” now, but at the beginning of freshman year I was shorter than my mom, who is 5’4”), and I feel like that nerdy rep followed me through the last three years of high school. Or perhaps it was all in my head and I was the only one who thought I was still a nerdy little twerp. Heh… my junior year I went away to Spain for the fall semester, and became a pretty popular dude with a really attractive girlfriend. (Hi, Leah!) That school was really eclectic and weird… the popular kids were all writers & musicians rather than lacrosse players, so I think I fit in a little better there and it gave me a new chance to figure out how a new group of people would perceive me. ANYHOW, when I came back to Pittsburgh I have a very specific memory of a couple of girls I’d gone to school with for the last four years giving me a "Whoa, look at Chris Burnham all grown up" look… but then I immediately launched into a discussion about the markets in Spain selling bull testicles and skinned rabbits, and they snapped right back to “What the fuck is wrong with that dude?” Haha. Bitches.

Looking back, I definitely could have dated a lot more girls… I think the key is actually talking to them rather than creepily leering at them from across the lunchroom. Who knew? But then again, if I were a swinging dick stud in high school, maybe I would have knocked up my girlfriend and had to work in the plant to feed my family and never been able to follow my dreams & draw comics for a living. And I’ve got a great lady, to boot (Hi, Erin!), so I guess it’s worked out pretty well.

I see that you have answered questions like this before. This 20 Questions should go really well… So Question 2: So people’s art evolves over time, it is part of the artistic process. Art should grow and change, sometimes gradually and sometimes radically. For me, one of my earliest shifts occured when Walt Simonson took over X-Factor way back in the day. The angularity of his lines and the chunky spot blacks that he uses to denote soft rounded objects was incredible. Can you think back to anytime when your work has had one of these radical alterations, and if so, what do you think was the catalyst for that evolution?

I can think of two big style shifts. When I was first trying to break in around ten years ago I was trying out a bunch of different styles… from a Jim Starlin / John Buscema sort of thing to trying to be John Totleben to Katsuhiro Otomo, without much success. Granted, I was doing a terrible job of marketing myself… if I would have put my stuff on Penciljack at that point I’m sure my career would have taken a drastically different turn. Anyhow, when I moved here to Chicago I started developing this character, Valentine, with my roommate Nathan Allen. He was a pulpy spy-smasher sort of character and I thought that trying to do an open linework David Lloyd sort of thing would be perfect. I tried the style on one little sketch, saw that it worked, and jumped right into inking the story! We printed up 1,000 copies of this 14-page ashcan and gave them to everyone. I started getting work based on that, and for the next few years I worked pretty exclusively in a David Lloyd/Milton Caniff/Jean Paul Leon sort of style. Heavy black brushwork, not much detail.

A few years later I read an article about Richard Starkings starting up Elephantmen. I’d given him the Valentine ashcan, he really liked it, and we’d kept in occasional email contact. So out of the blue I emailed him to ask if I could do an Elephantmen backup. He agreed, and as I was flipping through Ladronn’s Hip Flask artwork to look for reference and inspiration I became taken with the idea of applying some Milton Caniffish shadows to Ladronnish linework. It worked pretty well and my career took off with Elephantmen leading to Nixon’s Pals to Fear Agent to X-Men to Marvel Mystery… And it’s been a much more subtle growth since then… adding in some Darrow for Officer Downe and then mixing in some Quitely for Batman.

That was some significant sequential art name dropping going on there. Truth be told, I am going to need to spend a good day just looking for these references. Clearly some of them I know off the top of my head, but others are a bit more obscure. Question 3: How would you describe your style to someone who is not versed in the nuances of sequential art and its artists?

Oh, jeez… hopefully it comes across as detailed art with dynamic compositions and clear storytelling. I dunno! I certainly draw the shit out of backgrounds and people getting killed in horrible ways.

Boy! Howdy! You do know how to off some people in bizarre ways… always well-done, but Bi-Zarre. Question 4: Your work seems to be almost made for Bat-stories, is there a character or book out there that you dream of regularly drawing?

I’d love to try my hand at the New Gods, who seem to be alive and kicking again. I wouldn’t want to draw Kalibak or Desaad, tho… Kirby killed those guys himself and I think they should stay dead.

I dunno, maybe do Challengers of the Unknown as kindof a Tom Strong or Planetary sort of thing? Or the Fantastic Four? Or adapt Thor’s Journey to Utgard somehow?

So, you have a near encyclopedic knowledge of all things sequential art and/or comic book-ish. This means, that you must pretty much eat, drink, sleep, and breathe comic books. Which leads to my Question 5: when you are not drawing/reading/signing/etc… comic books, what do you do? Your vocation is my hobby, so what are your hobbies, what does a Chris Burnham do during his down time? (was that Inside the Actors’ Studio enough of a question?)

Hob…bies?

Heh. I suppose I don’t really have one at the moment. Yikes! I listen to a lot of forensic shows… I’ve seen/listened to just about every episode of Unsolved Mysteries, Cold Case Files, Forensic Files, Disappeared, Dateline, 48 Hours, The First 48, Crime 360, all that shit. Disappeared is the best show of its kind ever. Discovery ID. Live it!

Kids, if you’re ever arrested for anything, shut up and get a lawyer! The cops ain’t got shit on you!

(Also, don’t commit any crimes)

Question 6: Do you see any of your love for forensic procedural shows creeping into your books or, worse yet, your daily life? For example, Wow, Honey, if I were mad at you, this ditch would be a perfect place to hide your blood drained body. I could dump a 50 pound bag of lye on it and the remains would be nigh unrecognizable… Please pass the salt.

Hmm… The more of these shows I watch, the more I’m convinced that the only way to get away with murder is to kill a random stranger… and where would be the fun in that? Err… what I mean to say is killing is wrong, kids!

I CAN recall one night after I’d gone on a serious forensic binge, and I could not sleep… my brain was stuck on murder mode and I seriously could not think of anything for more than 5 seconds before my brain spun it around to murder or prison. It was absolutely terrible.

Question 7: Do you think that the abundance of these forensic dramas is ruining actual prosecution’s cases because the level of technology in actual crime labs is no where near the fake level of technology shown in the shows? Do you think that juries are looking for more definitive evidence that is only available in TV shows?

Um, I think you’re misunderstanding what I’m watching. Forensic Files, Dateline, 48 Hours, etc are all documentary shows - actual crimes, interviews with the victims, police, reporters etc… I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen an episode of CSI.

I don’t really have an educated opinion on the so-called CSI effect. I’ve never been on a jury and I don’t have any evidence on whether or not it actually exists. Sounds plausible, I guess, but if a prosecutor isn’t able to convince a jury that the defendant belongs behind bars, then he hasn’t done his job properly, right? Reasonable doubt and all that. I do know that eyewitness testimony is horseshit and people give false confessions all the time… I think juries should be far more skeptical of that kind of evidence than they are.

Oh, man, how about that Cameron Todd Willingham case? I’ve seen his story on three or four of my shows and every time it gets my blood boiling. Really seems like Texas executed an innocent man. State-sanctioned murder, if you ask me.

No, I got that you were looking at the real deal, I was curious, since I imagined you have seen some of the procedural forensic dramas, if you thought that the fantasy versus the reality could be tainting a jury’s conclusion of “reasonable doubts.” I think the more documentarian shows that one finds on A&E, the Science Channel, Discovery, etc… show more realism than the dramas. I think it would be really interesting to see a drama that dealt with reality in a crime drama. That being said, I am not sure I would want to watch a lab tech titrate some chemical to get a precipitate to put into a mass spectrometer… Maybe the dramas have it right for the entertainment value.

There are too many death penalty cases where post execution, the person was exonerated by newer techniques and new details. It really is state-sanctioned murder. seriously states, you are better than that, don’t stoop to their level.

So, I was good in chemistry in high school, but I hated it as a subject. seriously, I was a badass at stoichiometry, but I hated the shit. Question 8: Any school topics, high school or college, that you were good at, but could not stand?

Hmm…. I’m fairly certain that while many people on death row have been freed, I don’t think anyone who has actually been executed has been legally exonerated after the fact. Independent examinations point to a lot of innocent people being executed, but I don’t think any courts have come out to put a legal stamp on approval on those investigations.

This might sounds douchey, but I was really good at school (Summa Cum Laude, motherfucker!) and didn’t really like much of it. I guess I liked math all the way up through Algebra and Geometry, to the point where I wanted to be an engineer. But trigonometry and calculus beat it out of me. I was able to memorize all the right formulas etc, but I never really understood or enjoyed what I was doing, despite being good enough to get a 5 on the BC Calculus AP test (5 is the highest score on the APs, by the way). Perfect score on the math half of the SATs, too. I was seriously so good at algebra and geometry that the questions might as well have been 2+2.

Most of that knowledge is gone, tho. I’ll do some basic algebra to figure out panel dimensions if I’m doing something tricky like wanting 4 panels in a row that get smaller and smaller at a uniform rate, but that’s about it. I was trying to do some basic subtraction a year or two ago (like, 1,153 - 827 sort of thing) and totally forgot how to borrow and carry. Ha! Comics will rot your brains, kids!

I majored in mother fucking math, jackass, I got your math theory right here. I, however, only got a 4 on the AP Calc test, so bask in your AP glory, mister, but fear my ε - δ definition of limits knowledge. I still got set theory chops and I remember some of my Calc… I have, however forgotten all my LaPlace Transform info, and my advanced diffy-q knowledge I have forgotten more math…. I think it would take another 4 years of courses to get back to my mathematics fighting weight.

Question 9: One of my favorite questions coming up: I was born in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, moved to Montgomery, Alabama, then to Birmingham, Alabama, went to college in Kent, Ohio and settled in Columbus, Ohio…. What is your geographic story?

Haha! No sets for me, and I have no idea what those goofy squiggles mean. You win, Scotto!

I was born in Connecticut (no city for you, identity thieves!); lived in Avon CT until I was 7; moved to Sewickley (suburb of Pittsburgh), PA; went to college in Washington, DC; lived in Pittsburgh for one more year; moved to New Haven, CT for a year; and have been in Chicago, IL for the last 9 years.

Question 10: Which of those places resonates as your “home-town?”

Sewickley.

I went back a few weeks ago for the first time in over two years. I really miss it. The roads are so much fun to drive on & our woods are so awesome. My brother and I found a few caches of vines that would have made for some awesome swinging if we had a solid afternoon to get them cut and the runways cleared. Next year!

Question 11: Since comic books are relatively geography-less and you can pretty much do your job anywhere there is computers, scanners, and the Internets, what is keeping you in the Windy City?

The people. I’ve got two great circles of friends here, based around The House Theatre of Chicago (the theater company I did design work and illustration for seven years), and the Chicago comic book community. Plus a bunch of other buddies I’ve picked up at random jobs, parties, etc. It’d be tough to leave all of them.

Friends will do that to you. It is nice to have a large local cadre of friends to draw on… or so I am told. I tend to find more community online than in real life. There are some people I have never met that I call friends. Which leads me to ask. Question 12: How has the blossoming of social media and social networks affected your interactions with people or your life in general

Hmmm… well, I certainly waste more time on Twitter now that I’m on Twitter! It’s cool to keep in casual touch with comics buddies who I normally only see two or three times a year, and those casual interactions pay off when we get to see each other in person at cons. And it’s a nice ego boost when some pro I think is awesome starts following me before I start following them. I thought I was really hot shit when Ilya Salkind friended me on Facebook… until I realized that he’s friends with almost everyone in the industry. Still, being fake friends with the producer of Superman is awesome!

I guess I’m developing a halfway decent fanbase. I’m closing in on 2,500 Twitter followers… (@theBurnham) hopefully that’ll translate into increased sales of the new Officer Downe hardcover, but who knows? I certainly follow a bunch of people whose comics I don’t regularly buy. Too much shit out there to read everything, but I like to know what people are working on, if only to avoid overly awkward conversation when I see them in person.

There’s only thing worse than the despair in someone’s eyes when you’ve never heard of their project is their despair when they’ve never heard of yours!

Seriously, if you can get your 2500 followers to send you $20, you could pocket $50k (before taxes or expenses). You should make that request of your followers and see if you can just live off them like that friend who is “just gonna stay on your couch for a few weeks until I can find a place.”

Question 13: Since this is Q13, do you have any superstitions? A certain way you have to have your materials laid out before you can start working on a page, you have to circle the bed three times before you can lay down to sleep (like some kind of family pet), NO WIRE HANGERS!!!!.. You know some kind of superstition? Anything?

Ha! I should do a 50/50 Twitter raffle! Winner takes half the pot, Burnham’s Home for Wayward Comic Artists takes the other. Genius!

I’m sure I’ve some lingering superstition somewhere, but I really don’t have much patience for that stuff. If it doesn’t actually exist, why waste your time on it? (says the guy who makes his living drawing fictional characters. hmmmm…)

I guess I’ll knock on wood, but I treat it more as a reminder to not take anything for granted. Plus I think it’s funny to say “Knock on, err.. particle board” or whatever non-wood substance is at hand.

Yeah, when I stopped playing sports is when I lost my belief in the superstitions. The ritual of putting on the sporting vestments was VERY superstitious, but since then I can’t think of anything superstitious either.

Question 14: So, other than Walking the Room, are there any other podcasts that you listen to?

Oh, man… a bunch. Going down my iTunes list, the ones I’m actively listening to are…

The Economist

Freakonomics

Jordan, Jesse GO!

Judge John Hodgman

My Brother, My Brother and Me

NPR: Planet Money

The Skeptic’s Guide to the Universe

Skeptoid

The Tobolowsky Files

This American Life

Radiolab

WTF

You Look Nice Today

and the occasional comic podcast when the interviewee sounds interesting… War Rocket Ajax, Word Balloon, iFanboy, Around Comics.

I listen to, or have listened to many of these, so looking at it that is about maybe 20 hours of padcasts a week, correct? If you like Walking the Room, might I suggest subscribing to Never Not Funny with Jimmy Pardo. It is not as sad and pathetic and a bit more whimsical.

One of my mantras in life is “Funny over nice.” Often if there is a nugget of funny in a situation, I will try to mine the funny prior to showing any significant compassion. Question 15: Do you have any personal mantras?

I used to listen to Never Not Funny. If memory serves, I thought the free content was annoyingly shilly and rather than upgrading to the $ version I stopped listening altogether. I do think those guys are funny, but the show always shut off just as it was getting good, and it started to feel like thy were purposefully doing a shitty job at the beginning to make me pay for the good stuff.

Personal mantras…

"The hard part is over. Here comes the hard part." At the moment I’m doing it, I feel like each and every stage (of the creative process, or learning, or growing up, or whatever) is the most difficult thing in the world and am looking forward to the next stage, which I’m sure will be a cakewalk by comparison. It never is.

And some storytelling ones I learned from my film professor, Dr. Thiel.

"Get inside the action." "Realize is not a verb." "If I didn’t see the handkerchief, there’s no handkerchief."

I have always loved Pardo. I dig his stand-up and have for a while, and his payment scheme is not too bad for me, but I couldn’t afford all the podcasts I listen to if they all had that model. I think the 20 minute free version of NNF was always a commercial for the full version.

I adopted my wife’s family mantra, “Don’t let the fuckers get you down.” And until recently, I have been letting the fuckers get me down, but I am working on that.

We are closing in on the end of the interview, so thanks for sticking with me so far (interviewee and reader) Question 16: Who is the coolest person you have met? Not necessarily the most well-known, just the coolest, and I hope it is not someone well-known.. That makes for better radio.

Ummm… Natasha Henstridge’s husband Darius was pretty cool. I assumed he was a 40-ish European billionaire prince or something, but it turns out he’s just a 30-something millionaire pop star… Kinda disappointing in retrospect.

Honestly, the coolest person I can recall meeting was this 10-year old kid at a comic convention a year or two ago. This kid was just so self-assured, casually inquisitive and well-adjusted… seriously the most socially capable human being I’ve ever met and he was only 10. That dude is going to be the president of the universe.

Question 17: Any questions that I should have asked you?

Q: What’s the awesomest shit ever?

A: Getter Robo. Nearly all of it is available as free scanlations at

Shit is super fun. Brilliantly mindless entertainment. Most of the anime versions are pretty cool, but the manga is tippity top.

And you provided a link. You are the awesomest!

Question 18: Any questions that you want to ask me?

You’ve been a Ten Tonner for quite awhile… how’d you get involved? Confession: for some reason I used to think you were Jason Baroody’s girlfriend!

Okay, the confession was completely unnecessary, because deep down aren’t we all Jason Baroody’s girlfriends?

Maybe 5 years ago I started remembering how much I loved to draw. I was in a dead end job that was not taxing me creatively and I started to frequent the comic books section of The Drawing Board. I started drawing again over there in little baby steps. I was a lurker for a while because I hadn’t picked up a pencil for drawing a good long while. In college I was only a few courses away from a studio art minor with a focus on pen and ink. And then I stopped drawing for 10+ years and lost most of my ability. After lurking I started contributing there. Over there I was only mmmpig.

That forum is a great forum, but it was a little bit too sunny for me. Very little solid criticism and more of a “you can do it, keep trying, way to go” vibe. I was always impressed with the work Baroody was posting there and most of what he was posting there was associated with some kind of Sketch Challenge thingy. 4 yrs ago I followed him back here and devoured the art all of you were throwing up, and as I read the threads I realized that this was a much better community for me. Crits at TT are solid and never unprofessional. The banter is way more vulgar and snarky and a bunch less cream-puff and sunshiney. So I stayed and slowly I have been trying to recover the drawing skills that I let get too rusty.

So my goal now is to win a Ten Ton Sketch Challenge

Question 19: How can people see your work in person and online?

Is this a subtle dig at me for never updating my website or posting art? ;)

I’ve got a slightly out of date portfolio at chrisburnham.com and I’m fairly active on Twitter where my handle is @TheBurnham. I’m on Facebook but don’t really do anything on it other than look at pictures of my niece and nephew. And of course I’m on Ten Ton.

Convention season is over for the year, so other than bumping into me at Dark Tower Comics or Challengers Comics & Conversation (both here in sunny Chicago), I think the next chance for people to see me in person will be the Emerald City show in March and C2E2 in April.

In the meantime, the Officer Downe: Bigger Better Bastard Edition comes out on December 7th (pre-order yours today, kids!), and what was originally going to be Batman Inc #10 comes out, um, eventually! Hang in there, kitty cat, it’s gonna be great!

I want to thank you profusely for taking so much time with me. Especially since this interview will be seen by at most 31 people. I got juice… I got juice. Since this is the last question, let’s make it retrospective. Question 20: Did you come away with anything particularly interesting from this set of 20 questions? Learn anything about yourself through answering the questions? and/or did you at least enjoy this long drawn out process?

It’s always fun to answer questions I haven’t been asked before. Thanks!

Holy Shit! Amaziballs! This was an amazingly fun. Thanks so damn much, Chris!

To recap:

Wifey is out of town until Sunday evening

Sweet Jeebus and all that is Holly! That is a long time away from now!

This weekend is Mid-Ohio Comic Con!

I will be at table 1024 with the amazing Brett Wood

Sitting next to William Grapes and Matt Horak

There will be drawings

Spaghetti for dinner?

The kids will like it

Me? not so much… I am kind of tired of the spaghetti

Not sure that I will partake of the pasta meal

So, who likes the tumblr?

Me

That’s who

Still trying to work out the bugs with tumblr

Have a great weekend everyone