20 Questions Tuesday: 12: My So-called High School

Ah, for lack of better judgment, I have decided that today’s 20 questions will be centered around the topic of high school. Which means it will be centered around my high school experience. So, gather the kids around and listen to the answers of my High School. Imagine that it is way back in 1990 again, and everything will be okay.

Some disclaimers. I hated HATED high school. I am a Hewitt Trussville High School class of 1992 grad, and since high school graduation I haven’t looked back. Why a high school in Alabama would choose a sled dog for a mascot, I am not sure. Anyway… my school was a good school, but not the best. Much like most Alabamian high schools there was an insane drop-out rate. My freshman class was about 750-ish (if I remember correctly) and my graduating class was 365. That is a goodly amount of people who “dropped out” or just didn’t finish on time. I was not hated by anyone that I know of, but I wasn’t popular either. I never truly fit in with any one particular group and constantly longed to be more popular. Of the 365 I graduated with I only keep in contact with 2 and I am only remotely curious as to what happened to maybe 4 other people. Some of my responses today will probably seem jaded, because, well, I am jaded about the whole high school situation.

Thanks this week to The Em, ContinuityGirl, Dustin, and J.A. Coppinger. (A special “Thank you” to Wifey for her last minute questions.)

1. What is the point of having a homecoming king and queen? Popularity isn't accentuated enough without it?
The whole idea of the homecoming court was to really make the marginalized feel even more so. Actually, I think that was a big part of the whole high school ritual in general. High school really helped to marginalize the marginalizable and popularized the ones willing to conform. High school was a Petri dish of polarization.

2. Everybody had that one teacher in high school that everyone made fun of or was totally wacky. What was your's like? And how are people like this even allowed near kids?
Mrs. Eyslande (not her actual name. I don’t want her googling this post). She was my Sophomore chem. Teacher. She was flighty and really scatter-brained. Made for interesting labs. One time whilst she was doing the “electric pickle” demonstration, she knocked the pickle over and then picked it up bare-handed. Clarification: for those of you who do not know, there are a boat lode of salts and minerals and electrolytes in pickles, so much so, that if you attached the wires from a plug to each side of the pickle it will light up and buzz and hum due to its ability to conduct electricity. This makes the pickle, in effect, an exposed wire that is plugged into an outlet. Her picking up the pickle did not go over well with her whole “I don’t like to get shocked” philosophy.

3. Most high schoolers participated in some extra curricular activities, what were yours?
Hmmm… Other than the Honor Society and ΜΑΘ (the Math Honor Society), which were less activities than things that they made me go to, I was a member of the varsity soccer team, scholar’s bowl (Quiz Bowl), the Physics Club (they had good breakfasts and I enjoyed annoying that sponsor/teacher), I think that was it.

4. You were voted "mostly likely...." what?
If I had tallied any votes it would have been for “Most Likely to Get the Hell out of Alabama.”

5. What's your best moment/memory of high school?
I have mentioned this before, but one time the aforementioned sponsor/physics teacher said to me
Teach: SRH, do you know what your problem is?
Me: No, what?
Teach: You’re apathetic.
Me: So…
I am not sure she really even got the pithiness of the response, but it was at that moment I decided top join the physics club.

6. Which John Hughes film most closely resembles your time at school?
This is a really good question. If you subtract the love interests, science experiments, the ability to pull off a gigantic party, the creation of a hot chick from 1980’s with crappy computer systems, and the transformation from Geek to popular at the end of the movie, I would say “Weird Science.”

7. When you were at school what did you want to be when you grew up?
Up until my senior year I was gunning for being in the US Air Force. WTF was I thinking?!?!

8. Did you eat school dinners (lunches) or bring your own in, in a brown paper bag?
Funny thing. I actually only went into the cafeteria, I think, maybe 10 time during the entirety of my high school tenure. I found ways to get 2 half period study halls to replace my lunch period. I didn’t eat lunch in high school, brownbag or otherwise.

9. What's the worst thing you ever got caught doing? and the worst thing you got away with?
Hmmmm, I got caught with a gas mask in my locker. Let me clarify, I had an old Mark V gas mask (a black mask with 2 air filter canisters on the mask) in my locker that I stored a whole bunch of Skor Bars within. Mmmmmm toffee and chocolate…
And I guess during one of the random locker searched they “confiscated” the mask, but they also took the Skor bars, the Bastards!

That I have gotten away with? I actually got out water colors because I was tired of just sketching in my Latin class. The teacher found it better for me to be occupied than fully engaged.

10. What is it with High School lunch ladies?

Honestly, they were one of the reasons that I avoided the cafeteria. That and the fact that the “salad bar” had three colors of “salad dressing” but they all tasted the same.

11. What is the funniest High School mascot you've ever heard of?
Why anyone would name their high school mascot the “Mighty Trojans” and be angry about the eventual condom jokes that ensued?

12. Did you ever have a crush on one of your HS teachers?

Nope, I wanted to crush a few of them, but I never had a crush on any of them.

13. Private or Public...which is better?
From a pure cross-section of humanity preparation for the real world aspect, I would have to go with public. In public school, you sometimes had to put effort into making the learning experiences happen.

14. Do all male PE (Physical Education) teachers have excessive back hair (i.e. is that a job requirement)?
Furrowed brow is a requirement. I never saw my PE coaches’ backs without their shirts on. Are you trying to tell me something scary and private, Dustin? If the big back hairy man did something to you, you can tell me.

15. Were you a prep, jock, burn-out, or a geek?
Most definitely a geek

16. What was you best HS moment?
Being done with it

17. What was the most embarrassing HS moment?
I will wait and see if Capt. McArmypants and B-dawg want to weigh in on this one. I honestly have nary a memory about embarrassing moments in High School, but that could be because I have blocked them from my memory.

18. Would you –for any price- return to HS?
There is a price for everything. I have not put much thought into what price that would be.

19. Compare your feelings about your hair in high school versus your feelings about your hair now.
I absolutely hated my brillo pad-esque hair in high school. Straight hair was in and curly hair was something to be tamed. My hair was untamable, and I hated it. I like the curls now (even though I just got them cut). All in all I like the hair sitch, I just wish that I did not come into this comfort with my hair after I started graying and balding.

20. Would you have dated your wife in high school?
Well, there are a couple of things that we need to clarify in this question. Knowing who I am today I would have, but we are talking about the “me” of around 15 years ago. 15 years ago I was a white 17 year old in Alabama who was non-popular. My wonderful wife is black-white biracial, so the superficial-17-year-old-why-don’t-people-like-me SRH would not have found Hottie McHotness (Wifey) attractive due to the color of her skin. I grew a whole bunch between graduating from high school and my junior year in college.

All that being said, and removing the skin tone from the equation, I would not have wanted to date Wifey in high school. See, she was a cheerleader, class president, president of the Honor’s Society, and super popular while I was merely a jaded geek. I would have disliked her due to envy, and therefore probably not talked to her much. Flip that coin and she probably would not have dated me either. I was not in the “in crowd” enough to have made it into the realm of her possible datees. She too grew up a bunch in college.

To Recap:
High school sucked
Finger feels fine today
I miss my cats
I had a big lunch today, but I am still hungry
Not sure what will be for dinner tonight
I am loving Tool’s 10,000 Days
But I have a thing for Tool anyway
I am sore today because I started at a new gym last night
Wow, I am sore
I was sore before I left the gym
That is NEVER a good sign