20 Questions Tuesday: 36 - Cryptozoologicals, Paranormal Animals, and Mythological Beasties

Ah, glorious Tuesdays, where my content is supplemented by others. Today’s 20 Questions Tuesday is concerning Cryptozoologicals, Paranormal Animals, and Mythological Beasties. Oddly enough, so will next week’s 20 Questions Tuesday. I put out the call for questions out yesterday to my typical intrepid questioneers and I have already received 38 questions, with only a few repeats. The repeat questions tend to be about cage matches between beasties or whether I believe the Loch Ness monster really exists (stay tuned).

Anyway, cryptozoological research has always interested me. Even as a child I had a kid’s library devoted to paranormal stuff. A book on the sasquatch, a book about UFO’s, a book about the Loch Ness Monster, etc… (oddly no book about the Yeti… hmmmm….) So this is a topic that is near and dear to my heart.

Thanks this week to Lord Pithy, Der Kieselbach, Lsig, and J.A.Coppinger.

On to the questions:

1. Is it just me, or do questions about paranormal animals naturally lend themselves to an R-, or even X-rated slant?
It is just you. It is only you, it will only be you. Please stop sending me emails about what you would like to “do” to Bigfoot.

2. If you were going to be abducted by one of the following, which would you choose, and why: Mothman, Bigfoot, Kenny Rogers.
Kenny Rogers, he makes some good chicken fingers.

3. Should Cryptozoology be offered as a legitimate major, complete with doctorates and stuff? (Yes, "stuff"!)
I think it should be classified as a minor. Biology should be the doctoral program or maybe veterinary science or zoology. I would be hard pressed to base a PhD program on information that is completely unsubstantiated and, by definition, improvable. Then again, one can get their doctorate in economics.

4. Nessie: surviving dinosaur, giant eel, mass hallucination, errant Macy's Day float?
Nessie sightings have been going on for far longer than Macy’s Department stores have existed, so it would be difficult to make the case that it is an errant float, unless, you take into account time travel and the paradoxes that ensue do to temporal distortion. All in all, I would have to go with, if Nessie does in fact exist, a plesiosaur.

5. Which paranormal creature would make the best pet? Why? And would you buy it at Petland or go to a breeder?
Blink Cat. Just like a regular cat except it can teleport short distances. I think I would have to go to a breeder.

6. Better flying animal: Pegasus, the Luck Dragon in Never-ending Story, or Donkey from Shrek?
Luck Dragon, his flight is powered by magic, not wings or extra pixy dust.

7. Since Cerberus has three heads, would they each fight over the same piece of food even though it goes to the same place?
Eating is not just about sustenance. All three of the heads want to enjoy the sensation of eating. That is what the fighting is all about, the thrill of consuming, not the satiation of hunger.

8. Who would win a starring contest: Medusa or a Basilisk?
Both would lose, but the pigeons would love the statuary.

9. Loch Ness real or mythical?
Loch Ness is a real place that exists in Scotland. Does it have a monster lurking in its murky depths? Different question entirely.

10. Why does it seem that most "mythological" creatures are spotted by the same people you see on the news describing what the tornado sounded like as it hit their trailer?
This is a bit of a mis-conception. Most people associated with sightings are either well educated people or local indigenous populations. Honestly, that is the only reason that these stories have been sustainable. If the only people who reported sightings and interactions were the un-educated and unintelligent, the stories would be summarily dismissed. The fact is that you have British Military sighting the Yeti in Nepal. It is only when you start to get into the lore and custom surrounding certain cryptids and mythologicals that you start to hear about “old wives’ tales” and other superstitious claptrap.

Plus, you know, tornadoes hitting trailers is really scary stuff. You might not be at your best if that just happened to you.

11. Describe, if you will, a hippogriff and where one finds such a beast.
Hippogriff: Head, chest, front legs and wings of an eagle with the rear half of a lion. You can find them in most Alliance cities, towns, and outposts and some neutral cities. There are some “wild” ones in the Hillsbrad area just to the northeast of Durnhold Keep.

12. Why do leprechauns leave their gold lying around, anyway? Carelessness? Lack of 401k plans? Why?
My bet is that it is complete overconfidence in their abilities.

13. Two enter, one leaves: who wins a basilisk vs. wendigo cage match?
I have to side with the basilisk on this one. The big “power” of a wendigo is to eat people. Seeing as how basilisks are not people…

14. How is the yeti, anyway?
I assume he is doing okay. I contacted him to ask questions for this set of 20 Questions Tuesday, but I have not heard back from him yet. My bet is that the satellite uplink for his internet connection is spotty from where he is in the Himalayas.

15. Are unicorns actually good for anything besides adorning the shiny stickers and Trapper Keepers of pre-adolescent girls?
Other than making sparkily glue? Nope. They are just window dressing for 12 year old girls.

16. Succubi – Let’s be serious, is there really a man on the planet who’d try to drive one off?
A good bit of men wouldn’t want to die while having sex with a demon. I, for one, am not interested in an anonymous romp with a supernatural demon who wants to claim my soul with her sexual death embrace. Nope, doesn’t sound like a good time to me. Plus I think you are forgetting that whole 9 to 12% of the male population that is not enticeable by demon boobies. It is offset by the 9 to 12% of the female population that is.

17. You get to be any mythological god/deity you want to be. Who do you choose?
Well, definitely not any of the Norse/Germanic deities. They all bite it in the end. Hmmmm… I am not sure what deity. Maybe you guys should suggest which one I would be best at. (Note: I exclude myself from being Ba’al, the pre-operative transgender god/dess, so you cannot suggest that as the deity of my choice. Lord Pithy, who oh so often comments as “anonymous,” I’m looking at you.)

18. Barring Yeti, who’s the coolest monster of all time?
Why the Vampire Bear, of course. The Vampire Bear is the definition of B.A.D.A.S.S.

19. Why does America have so few monsters? Cuz we’re young, or just lame?
America has a few monsters to deal with. The sasquatch and wendigo are purely native American in origin. There are a few sightings of lake monsters here and there as well. There is the Nain Rouge for Detroit, Michigan, the Jersey Devil, etc… We have our fair share, they just are not as well known as the big named ones.

20. Why are vampires afraid of garlic?
If I remember correctly, most pungent odors would really ward off a Vampire. Supposedly, they scent the exquisitely rusty aroma of a mortal’s life blood… the intoxicating allure of the tangy sickly sweet scent wafting from prey… ummm.. where was I? Oh, yes, vampires do not so much dislike the smell of garlic as much as the strength of the garlic smell over-rides their blood tracking abilities… or so I have read… yes… read.

To recap:
I have found that parenting via the Monty Python method is very effective
If anyone wants to be added to the usual weekly call for questions, please feel free to leave a comment with your email address
Just spell out the email address so the spambots don’t get you
For example gibber AT businessname Dot com
Don’t forget to tell me what god you see me as, since I could not answer Question 17
Trying some pouch cooking for dinner with the boy
A little potatoes, a little beef, some vegetables
Ought to be really nice
He liked the crunchy meatballs last night
Making a menu is a good thing
I ran myself into the ground last night on the elliptical
I am paying for it today
Stupid elliptical!