Today is my birthday. I am now a venerable 42 years old. The topic today is clearly “Birthdays.” Not only have a wizened in the past few years, I have also become more decrepit. My left wrist is hurting, and my hip is a little sore. These are in addition to my knees aching and having a bad ankle and a worse ankle. All things I did not have 10 years ago. Getting old sucks.
1. You suck why are you a year younger than me?
My parents waited a year long to go to the bone zone. Good goddamnit, I love the phrase “the bone zone.”
2. Do you like the Beatles Birthday song?
It’s fine. I would love if Dr Teeth and the Electric Mayhem did a cover.
3. How do you feel about Chuck E. Cheese on your birthday?
I dislike Chuck E Cheese on every day. It does not matter if it is a birthday or not, it is an inner ring of Hell and you cannot convince me otherwise.
4. How many birthdays do you think you'll have in your lifetime?
Well, there are 4 births every second of every day which equates to around 360,000 births every day. So I have been alive 15330 days (give or take), which means that there have been around 5,518,800,000 birthdays in my lifetime so far. I believe the correct answer is a shit-ton.
5. Best childhood B-day present?
Interesting question. I will extend my childhood into college and say the Bugs Bunny chess set.
6. Best Birthday Cake?
My mom was a professional cake decorator as a side job growing up, so I had tons of cakes that were really good. My mother’s frosting is to die for. I would have to say of all the cakes it was an Oscar the Grouch cake when I was 5 or 6.
7. Birthday wish?
I got them. Wish snitches get stitches though, so theys staying secret. I'll cut you.
8. Favorite Birthday dinner?
Benihana's Splashing Meadows with extra shrimp. Teppanyaki FTW!
9. Best Birthday toast?
Sourdough with tons of butter and Concord grape jam.
10. Best or worst birthday present ever?
Best: This week we bought our plane tickets for a family vacation to Bryce Canyon
Worst: Something that my Grandma Gave me… there are so much to choose from.
11. Are you excited about birthdays still or just another day?
I am moderately excited, but not overly so.
12. How old are you in Jupiter years? I'm curious.
3.5… I’m just a toddler
13. What does the family have planned for your birthday or is it a super secret surprise?
Not much. The wife is making me some Lemon Curd Doughnuts that are to die for, and I got a cast iron enamel Dutch oven to cook the holy hell out of some food. Cassoulet this week, aw yeah!
14. Back in the gluten days of your youth, what was your favorite flavor of birthday cake?
I am a simple man of simple pleasures. White cake with white frosting.
15. What has been, to date, the most selfish birthday wish you ever made?
Interesting… I don’t think I have ever categorized my wishes as such. Hmmm… I wished for a new job for ages. I think that would be it.
16. What has been the most selfless?
Little Man’s asthma to get better.
17. Have you reached the point yet where birthdays really are just another day?
Nope… they do seem to happen with far too frequent frequency though.
18. What are some birthday traditions you’ve carried from your own childhood on to the next generation?
I do not really have any birthday traditions that I can think of. The birthday meal is really about it. Birthday person gets to choose and no one gets to whine about it.
19. Obvious Hitchhiker’s Guide Question: What’s the meaning of life the universe and everything?
The answer to the question is, of course, 42
(Yes I know, follow up…)
20. But YOU’RE 42…what say you?
I am the answer to life the universe and everything… at least for a year.
Also gonna make something called “Skimpy Shrimpy” in the new Dutch oven
And we are going to have “chicken ‘tatos pot” soon too
This thing is going to get USED
Thanks to my mother-in-law for the Dutch oven
An actual Dutch oven, not something to do with farting and blankets
Father’s Day was pretty awesome
I got a new bag for work
I retired the bag that I had been using since grad school round 1 that started in 1997
I do not think I could find a cheap-ass bag these days that would last, with everyday usage, for 19 years
I could find and expensive one, but not a cheap-ass one
The pups are doing great
I think I might like the streaming service that goes by “CuriosityStream”
Science/Nature/History all the time… epic
Follow me on the tweets, the grams, and the snaps with @mmmmmpig and mmmmmpig and mmmmmpig (my snapchat handle)
Have a great week everyone… I am definitely having one