20 Questions Tuesday: 311 - Common Decency

311?
Come original you got to come original
I had a request from a friend to do the topic of “Common Decency” today, and she sent me a boatload of questions.  Hopefully this onslaught of questions will provide a narrative as to why she asked for today’s topic to be “Common Decency.”  So thanks this week go to A to the Arp, the wife and some other guy.  Onto the questions.

1. Where do you see the biggest deterioration in common decency from when you were a kid 'til now?
I would have to say the Internet… and I would say that I define being a kid as being 18, because that is when I started doing stuff online with the gopher systems and bulletin boards.

2. What are your pet peeves around common decency? (I get irked when people dress too casually for the "event" i.e. wearing your Chargers jersey and tattered jeans to a Broadway (albeit touring) show.) 
Firstly, your problem should be with the jersey in question and not the overall behavior.  The Chargers?  I don’t care if you live in the city hall of San Diego, wearing a Chargers jersey in public is breaking some kind of decency laws in civilized society (unless of course your name is Natrone Means… yeah, I went old skool.) Secondly, the jersey and the jeans are not really an issue if it is a matinee, if it is an evening performance, well… wear a real shirt and some nice pants. 
 
3. Are there common decency issues that bug you now that you have kids that didn't before kids or that maybe even you were guilty of before kids?
Not that I can think of… I am sure there are. Let me ask my arbiter of good taste… the wife says that cursing bothers me a fuck-ton more than it used too.

4. Have you noticed regional difference in levels of common decency? (South to North for example?)
There is a certain level of politeness in different parts of the world, but politeness does not necessarily translate directly into common decency.

5. What common decency issue do you really not give a crap about (like wearing a jersey and jeans to a show) and really think people need to "get over it."
language… they are just words and have no effect… as long as the language is not a racial epithet then who the fuck gives a good goddamn about what shit I say?

6. Did you learn common decency by example and who or what was your example, or did you learn it through trial and error?
I think most people learn by example as to what is common decency… It is all based on the cultural mores of the area one is in. 

7. What do you think influences our acceptance levels of what is/is not commonly decent?
Common decency is a living and breathing system.  For example, what is considered decency today would have been scandalous not too long ago, and what we consider scandalous now will be considered blasé in the years to come.
             
8. And part II is that a truth or a cop out? (Like if the media influences it or is that we allow ourselves to be inappropriately influenced by the media?)
Common decency is something that changes over time.  My marriage (interracial marriage)was considered indecent in the US not that long ago, and in certain places and amongst certain people it is considered indecent currently.  Sure the people who consider my marriage are intolerant racist bastards, but to them I am the one being indecent.

9. Who are the least/most commonly decent people you know?
It is interesting how you framed this question because it does often happen that people are at once very decent and wildly indecent at the same time.  

10. With your kids, is it do as I say or do as I do when it comes to common decency.
More of a do as I do than as I say.  I try not to talk shit that I am not willing to do myself.

11. When did you notice a decline in common decency (assuming you have)?
I think every generation bemoans the loss of common decency with these darn kids.  I would say, in that vein, the dawn of humanity would be when that started.

12. Where would you like to see a return to higher levels of common decency?
On the internet, and I think that is starting to happen.  The Internet, for it’s infancy, was the playground for the people who lived on it.  The people there could do what they wanted with no repercussions IRL.  But the real world is now encroaching on the digital world and people are starting to adjust to that.  Anonymous comments are starting to be not so anonymous anymore and the hateful nasty things people say online are now starting to come back to haunt them.

13. With the increase of surveillance do you expect to see a rise or decline of common decency? 
It will stay the same, our lines of what we consider to be “common decency” will shift.

14. Common Decency sounds like a rapper's name... What is his style?
Common Decency has slick rhymes over an understated beat.

15. What's the difference between common decency and common courtesy?
Decency has to do with decorum and courtesy has to do with actions towards others.  One can lack common decency and show common courtesy and vice versa.

16.  Some airlines have a placard in their airplane lavatories that states something like "As a courtesy, please dry out the sink after use."  I fly a lot, what of it?
I have no idea why one would need to dry out a sink when others are just going to wash their hands in it... What do they expect people to need a dry sink?  I shudder at the idea...

17. What do you think will be the last vestige of common decency?
I don't think there will ever be a necessity for a last vestige.  Common decency will just evolve.

18.  Why do you think common decency changes over time?
Because each generation pushes boundaries.

19. What is the difference between common decency and morality?
That is a great question... I honestly do not know how to answer it.  Morality seems like an overall sense of right and wrong, and common decency is more about politeness? Anyone? 

20. Common decency would demand that you post your posts prior to 10:30 pm EST.
Bite me

To recap:
Bite me
My allergies were crazy stirred up yesterday and today
My bet is that my old friend leaf mold has paid a visit
I missed work today
Well, I wouldn't say that I "missed" it
Got some non-work work done
I am now actively ignoring my wife to get this thing posted
Looks like I should format this thing and get it posted
I know which side of my bread is buttered
Have a great week

20 Questions Tuesday: 310 - Inspiration

This year has been odd so far.  I have been absolutely uninspired to do much of anything. I have only drawn 2 things since January 1.  One was a drawing as payment to Tom Gehrke for his participation in a 20 Questions Interview.  

It is a lovely sketch of Rocket and Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy.  The other was a Hulk I drew for a 3 or 4 yr old kid watching his sister at the swim meet my boy was in over the weekend.  He liked it, but his mom loved it.  I did not get a pic of it, so in many ways it is a kind of “Good-bye Art.” Good-bye Art is a great thing to get into.  It removes some of the roadblocks to creating because the end product does not exist for long.  

Anyway…  These past couple of weeks I have been uninspired and don’t know why.  Therefore this week’s topic is “Inspiration.”  Thanks this week go to Lsig, pfmdesigner, Chris Ring, and some other guy.  On to the questions:

1.  "You're the Inspiration" was my wedding dance song. What was yours? (I was there but I don't remember). 
"Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong… We both thought about "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell, but ultimately went against it though.

2. The first definition of inspiration that I just found was about breathing in. Do you think being inspired is like breathing, or something else?
Being inspired is very much like taking in a breath of creativity.  It is like oxygen hitting your creative centers.  

3. How is inspiration related to motivation?
Inspiration should be closely tied to motivation, it should be the impetus to continue creating. However inspiration without motivation leads to pretty much flights of fancy that amount to nothing, and motivation without inspiration leads to repetition and lots of it.

4. What inspires your best ideas?
That is an interesting question.  Usually I am inspired by looking at other people’s work.  In all seriousness..  Looking at Ten Ton people’s art is usually very inspiring.  Some of the people there know that I stand in awe of them and find their work very inspirational. 

5. Under what conditions do you find yourself most inspired? 
It is late-ish at night (not as late as it used to be, for I am aging less than gracefully) and relatively darkish in the house (not all the lights will be on).  I will be listening to to either a podcast that I find hilarious, or listening to some music.  

6.   When are you most usually inconveniently inspired?
... continued from question 5...OR… I am in the bathroom at work and cannot do anything about the inspiration until I get home hours later… at which time I have lost the inspiration.

7. Which of your five senses (leaving your amazing psychic senses to the side for now) provides you most often with inspiration?
Sense of direction, sense of common decency, sense of humor, sense of place?... I am usually visually inspired.

8. When you’re given an assignment, how do you decide where to look for inspiration to complete that project?
The work I do is rather uninspirational.  The assignments I get do not necessitate any inspiration, ergo the needing a different job.  To complete the projects here, I am not required to look anywhere for inspiration, for the jobs here, I have to find ways to numb my brain so I can just put my head down and plod through… I need out of this place.

9. It’s snowing. What does that inspire you to do?
Take a nap?

10. What is the difference between being highly inspired, and just plain driven?
 Driven tends to be, um.. well, driven by motivation and dogmaticness, while inspired is more about of a state of mind concerning where the ideas for creating are coming from.

11. Which artist inspired you the most to get back into drawing?
Hmmm.. there are a few… and I am a bit reluctant to name them because I interact with some of them in some digital spaces, but here it goes.  The people who got me back into drawing are Francesco Fancavilla, Jason Baroody, and Steve Willhite… there are some others that I no longer remember the names of because I felt I could be better than and that it was a travesty that they were paid artists.

12. Which writer inspires you the most to be creative?
Patrick Rothfuss, his usage of language is simply sublime
Andrew Mayne he is a talented writer, but his special skill is his plot and story.
The short Santa Claus stories of Justin Robert Young because he has a really imaginative take on some very familiar characters.

13. What song inspires you into action?
Forty six and two by Tool… 

14. Best snack for thwarting inspiration block?
Hmmm… Baked Cheetos dipped in BBQ sauce.  Actually it would be Krispy Kreme doughnuts but I cannot have those anymore

15. Favorite inspirational movie?
Hmmm… I cannot think of a movie that stirs inspiration in me.  I love me some movies though, but none of them make me want to create… Ryan Connolly’s Film Riot however… that is a different story. I watch some episodes of that and think, “I could make a movie.”

16. What are your thoughts on Inspirational posters?
Inspirational posters are not worth the ink or the paper that is used to produce them.  If you are inspired by a pretty picture and a simple quote, inspiration isn’t your issue, your issue is deeper than that and your production could most likely be automated. (thought stolen by this demotivational poster).

17. Do you have a muse?
Closest thing I have to a muse is my wife.  She thinks I am incredibly more creative than I am, and that is useful.  I imagine that my true level of creativity lies between her relatively high opinion and my depressed/self-critical idea.

18. How much of that “inspirational” stuff is pure clap-trap and hog-wash?
I would say, most of it is horrid clap-trap and boon-doggly bullshit.  Probably a good 84.5% of the ‘inspirational” shit out there is the equivalent of snake-oil.  That section of the bookstores are crappy.

19. What is the opposite of “inspiration?”
I would imagine it would be to remove ideas from others… To become a gravity well of ideation.. or expiration… one of the two.

20.  What inspires you to do these 20 Question Tuesdays?
Not a damn thing.

To recap:
It is getting late
And I am getting tired
It really isn’t that late
It is late enough, that is true
Who am I having this conversation with?
Crap, I’m not even talking to myself
I am typing to myself
That’s a bad sign, isn’t it?
Sure is
Crap, I just answered myself
Beyond here lies madness
Oh, my last semester of school has started up
5 more months
Have a great week everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 309 - Resolutions

Ah, the beginning of the year, when everyone makes resolutions.  They are little white lies we tell ourselves to try and make our years better than the last.  Most resolutions don’t make it past January… so they are a fun exercise in futility.  Needless to say, this week’s topic is “Resolutions.”  So thanks to pfmDesigner, Chris Ring, Steev, Nikki, St Pierre, the Wife, KG, Bruce, Peter Parker (not the Amazing Spider-Man), Laurie, Sandy, and Matt 2.0.  

onto the questions:
1. How do you normally help friends stick to their resolutions?
I believe that I assist my friend in their various resolution endeavors by mercilessly mocking them.  Shit up.  It is helpful.

2.  What is the most unrealistic, agonizingly moronic resolution you’ve ever heard?
That I said out loud and not wordlessly in my head?  Hmmm… lose 50 lbs... that is a fools errand.  It is great if someone actually does that, but it is unrealistic that the change in the year can cause someone to get the resolve to carry that one through.  More power to those that can and do that, but they are the anomolies.

3.  Set a New Year’s Resolution for the POTUS.
Fewer drone strikes.

4.  Set a New Year’s Resolution for the Putin.
Leave the Crimea alone and try to diversify your failing economy

5.  Set a New Year’s Resolution for the Wife.
I will not fall into that trap.  No-Siree-Bob, you can not trick me that way.

6.  Best way to stick to a resolution?
Make them incremental and vague.

7.  "Revenge on my enemies" good resolution or waste of time?
Waste of time.  All resolutions should center on yourself, you are the only one that you can actually control.  If revenge is delivered, that is a happy side effect.

8.  Winter makes it tough on some resolutions, wouldn't it be better to have the New Year start in Spring?
I am all for this… but in many ways it does make sense to have it where we do… Honestly the calendar should be one dozen 30 day months with a 5 day new years celebration between December and January.

9.  Resolution & Revolution, is there a connection? . . . I'm too lazy to look it up.
Not that I can think of.  I too am too lazy to look it up.

10.  Most resolutions are torpedoed by . . . ?
Unrealistic expectations.  You cannot realistically alter 7 different aspects of yourself in a short amount of time.

11.  What resolution do you prefer? I’m more of a 300 dpi guy myself
For online stuff I scan at 300 dpi for non-forum posts, but I go with 100 dpi for forum posts, so they load super-quick.

12.  The Romans began each year by making promises (resolutions) to the god Janus, who is usually depicted as having two faces. Abigail and Brittany Hensel are also one person with two faces. In 1996 they appeared on the Oprah Winfrey show. The final episode of that show aired on May 25th, 2011 which was exactly 34 years after Star Wars was released. What did you think of the trailer for the new Star Wars film?
I thought the trailer did some amazing things this time around.  First guy who pops up is not white… an amazing amount of practical effects and I think this will be a fun ride.  JJ Abrams did some things to make this clearly a different Star Wars look and feel than the prequels.

13. Are you resolving to spend more time on that soul sucking treadmill?  (If so, you may owe us a warning.)
I hate that thing, but I know that I need to get back on it this year.  Unfortunately I will need to actually schedule the time for it because life is ratcheting up the hectic at the moment.  I would not say that this is as much a resolution as much as it is a necessity.  I am old and my body is falling apart.  More maintenance is absolutely necessity, not a resolution or dream.  I am scheduling this stuff.  So get ready for some vitriol.

14. Have you ever used the word "resolution" in any other non new-year-holiday scenario?
When dealing with digital graphics, yes… a whole heckuva lot.

15. Except for in relation to the new year, I get resolutions and proclamations confused. Can you explain the difference by making one resolution and one proclamation that are mutually exclusive?
A resolution feels like setting an intention whereas a proclamation seems like a statement.  I hereby resolve to be more snarky to my fellow man… ie not to Tim, he is a jackass. I proclaim this to be Snark Day 2015!

16. When/how did the tradition of "new year's resolutions" start?
The research I saw pointed to the Roman times and the promises to Janus as stated in Question 12…  the real question is did I look any further than Question 12 for that answer?  The answer may astound you….  That’s right I added link bait on Question 16.  I am NOT good at this.

17. Are you gonna touch it? how much?
If by “it” you mean my drawing pencil, then the answer is I want to get 250 sketches done this year.

18. How long did it take before you broke your New Years resolution?
I always make one that I immediately break.. so I would say milliseconds.

19. Why make resolutions on 1/1 rather than mid-year? Or better yet Earth Day:)
I think one can resolve to do something at any time they wish.  If you wish to make resolutions on July 3rd, do it.  Earth Day, Summer Solstice, Valentines, whatever.  That is up to you.  Resolutions are typically associated with New Year’s because of the label “New Year’s Resolutions.”

20. Do you have any resolutions regarding omelets, or any dairy products at all? What are your thoughts on cheese?
I am not a huge fan of cheese (as evidenced by the post I made almost 10 years ago to the day), but I do love me a good omelet.  Editor's note... Holy crap that post is 10 years old...

To recap:
I resolve to:
Drink more water than last year
Find some more vegetable side dishes, for I tire of asparagus pee
Finish this UXD Degree and go to the graduation ceremony in May
Get a new job
That is about it for the resolutions
I have some goals I want to hit, but those aren’t resolutions
The wife is in Tempe, Arizona right now
It is 15° F here and will be a solid 5° F in the morning
It is 63 ° F there right now with a low of 45 ° F in the morning
and on top of all that, she likes her job
Well-played, Wife, well-played
I had to use my portable car battery thingy to start my car this morning
I will need to use it tomorrow as well
Beats the hell out of jumping the car though
It is late, and I have some stuff around to the house to do
It turns out that the dishwasher we got has some “issues” with it
So I need to put some dishes away and then do some more before bed
Have a great week everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 308 - 2014... a retrospective

This is the end of the year 2014 post.  It has been a fun year and I am very happy with where the blog is this year.  I had 8 interviews completed this year, so if you want to look at those they are Tom Merritt, Wil Anderson, Phil Hilliker, Ryan Connolly, Paul Armstrong, Daniel Squizzato, April Richardson, and Tom Gehrke.  The interviews are my usual smattering of Internet peeps/podcasters, comedians, and artists.  More of these to come in 2015.

This weeks topic is “2014… a retrospective” and thanks need to go to Dr B-Dawg, Lsig, Dr JHP, Newbold, and some other guy for the questions.  Onto the questions!

1. What is your best memory from the Sochi Olympics?
That is a great question.  I think it was simply watching the Olympics with the fam.  We all would sit and watch the events together on the couch.  It was great watching the kids get into it.  They were super excited by snow cross and ski-cross, so those were fun events to watch.

2. Best movies of the year?
Hmmm… I did not see an incredible amount of movies this year, and I most likely did not see the best of them.  I did see some entertaining movies that I really enjoyed though.  So there is that.  I was impressed with the Lego Movie, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Big Hero 6, and Guardians of the Galaxy.  I felt that The Amazing Spiderman 2 and the Hobbit: Battle of the 5 Armies were fine, and Peabody and Sherman was a little weak, but the kids loved it.

3. How will 2015 be better than 2014?
I will finish this degree and get a new job, as God is my witness.

4. Did you have a new year's resolution for 2014 that wasn't such a good idea after all?
I did not really make many, and the ones I did were not crazy of the wall.  So.... no.

5. Will we remember Iggy Azalea in 2015?
Who?

6. What goal(s) did you achieve in 2014? 
I finished up my final project for my degree.  I won another Ten Ton Studios Sketch Challenge and did well at Cincy ComiCon.  I also made it to 40 years old in relative health which is surprising, because I don’t feel like I am 40… maybe 35-ish.

7. What goal(s) did you fail to achieve in 2014?
Get a new job… and I stopped exercising.  That is something that I need to get back on.

8. If 2014 were a color, what color would it be?
Periwinkle.

9. Which month was the MVP of 2014 for you?
Hmmm… We knocked December out of the park.

10. Was there any point in 2014 that you felt like giving up the 20QT blog?
Not in 2014… 2012, 2013 most definitely, but not in 2014.

11. Personally how does this year end for you: a win, lose, or draw?
2014 is has a checkmark in the win column.

12. Favorite memory with the family/friends from this year?
That is a hard one.  There are so many good ones.  Right now a flood of memories from the year are flowing past me and I am having difficulty snagging just one without going to the next.  As far as my favorite?  Just thinking about the year in this way has been a gift in and of itself.

13. If you had one do over for the year what would that be?
I would have done a bit more for the wife’s 40th… I had grand plans that I abandoned due to a miscommunication in early 2013. 

14. Top five events from your family this year?
5. Addition of the ratties to the household
4. The kids’ special camps this summer
3. Discovery of the dreamliner seats at Marcus Cinemas… makes going to the movies better
2. Vacation in NC
&
1. Christmas 2014

15. Top five career moments?
5. Accruing enough vacation to go on a long vacation
4. This job is a paycheck
3. That’s all I got for my jobby job
2. I got out earlier on Friday a couple of times
&
1. Paid freelance mapping and illustration work not affiliated with my “career.”

16. Top 5 artistic accomplishments?
5. 222 notecard sketches for the year
4. I was really happy with some of the poses I drew this year
3. outlining a previously un-discussed project that shall remain undisclosed until I feel comfortable talking about it… gimme some space. I need to get my degree done first
2. Won a well-populated Ten Ton Studios Sketch Challenge
&
1. Paid freelance mapping and illustration work

17. Top 5 personal moments?
5. Made it to 40 Years old
4. 19 years in relationship with my amazing wife, 17 of which we have been legally roped together
3. Won a well-populated Ten Ton Studios Sketch Challenge
2. Paid freelance mapping and illustration work
&
1. 8 amazing interviews for 20 Questions Tuesday

18. Top 5 things that happened in the world?
Gonna go with my most impactful 5 for the year in the US, primarily... (you can Google them yourself)
5. The Sony hacks… I know it seems trivial, but I think this is a big event because it will be the first BIG company hack event in a long and damaging line of huge company hacks… the next one up will most likely be a large lending institution.
4. The continued acceptance of same sex marriage in the US.  Currently, I think 35 of the 50 are allowing same sex marriage.
3. Russia invading the Crimea in Ukraine.  This is not covered much here in the US… at the moment, but it smacks of some Archduke Ferdinand shit in the long run
2. Syrian Civil War and its consequences
&
1. The re-awakening of mainstream acknowledgement of institutionalized racism in the US… Racism is real, yo, and it is really bad for people of color.

19. What is the biggest tech story of 2014 in your opinion?
Bilateral mind-controlled prosthetic arms… yep, I guy can control 2 prosthetic arms with his mind now…. A.MAZ.ING.

20. So… 2014?  That was a year, wasn’t it?
Sure was.

To recap:
2014 was a pretty darn good year
I have a good feeling about 2015
Avengers 2
Star Wars 7
That is pretty banner right there
5 more months of school until I am done
Anyone need a guy about to get a MS in User Experience Design?
I am trying to sleep better
It is not working great
I tend to stay up late because that increases the amount of time that I am conscious and not in my cubicle
This is sketch 222 for the year

I love Spiderwoman’s new togs
I also like using the word “togs” to signify clothing
Happy new year everyone
and
Have a great week everybody

20 Questions Tuesday: 307 - Tom Gehrke

It is rare that I get to ask 20 Questions to someone that I really know very little about at all…  This week is one of those amazing rarities…  I know Tom Gehrke only via the twitters and our shared enjoyment of a few podcasts, so this opportunity is a great one to get to know someone new.  We all love befriending someone new, right?  Things I know of Tom…  he has a job in IT, I know he is a gamer (watched a Twitch stream of him playing some Destiny a while ago), I know he has some Photoshop chops, and I know he is a genuinely affable fellow.  These are things I know by interacting with him on twitter (@tomgehrke… follow and enjoy)

Anyway… here we go:

As I have mentioned in previous 20 Questions, I love maps and hearing about people’s geographic stories.  I will use myself as an example.  I was born outside of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.  Moved to Montgomery, Alabama when I was 3.  Grew up in Birmingham, Alabama until I went to college in Kent, Ohio.  There I met my future wife and moved down to Columbus, Ohio where I have lived ever since.  Question 1: What is your geographic story?

Affable, eh? I like that!

So you jumped right in with a simple question that has a long-ish answer. Here goes…

I was born in Honolulu, Hawaii where my father, who was in the US Air Force, was stationed. Unfortunately, I remember nothing of having lived there since it was but a year later that my dad’s enlistment time was over we moved back to where he had grown up; the southern suburbs of Chicago.

At the age of 7 we moved to Maryland. A few years later we moved to Virginia. Then on to New Jersey for my formative teen years. (Which should explain a lot about me.)

I spent a couple of summers of my teen years in northern Italy where my mom was from.

My senior year of high school found us back in the suburbs of Chicago. I then split my time between there and Pensacola, Florida for three semesters of college.

When I decided that college wasn’t for me, I ended up in eastern Tennessee where I got a temp job in Oak Ridge. A permanent position was offered to me if I moved to Paducah, Kentucky. I took that job and I’ve been here for the past 21 years.

I think that covers it.

Air Force Brats unite!  Tinker AFB to Maxwell AFB, then my dad went into the Alabama Air National Guard and we moved to Birmingham.  You have seen some places and lived in a few.  Question 2:  If you could live anywhere, where would you live, and would that place be different than where you would want to go on vacation?

I’ve actually given this question quite a bit of thought this year since I’m looking to relocate. When my wife and I compiled the list of places they were either beach or desert spots. So, obviously, sand is a critical component!

Basically, I’d love to live somewhere in the American southwest. No allergies. Warmth. (OK. Heat.) No grass. No snow (unless you go to a mountain). Something completely different from everywhere I’ve lived in the past.

Living on a beach would be nice, but I’ll reserve that for my vacation spot. Even Paradise might become tedious if you lived there all the time. Hawaii or any other island destination would be my ideal relaxation location.

Amusingly, right after answering question #1, I found out that I may already have an addendum. My wife has a job offer in Milwaukee that we will be pursuing. Wrong direction! Story of my life. 

That is definitely the wrong direction from sand and heat.  So, it is time for what everyone is waiting for… Question 3: Cake or Pie, which kind specifically and why?

As anyone who follows me on Twitter probably knows, the answer is Pie. Cake is fine and like cake, but given a choice, I’ll take a good fruit pie every time.

Pies tend to be not as sweet as cake and there is a wider variety in texture. Pies can be sweet, sour or savory. Pie is the perfect delivery mechanism for whatever filling you can imagine. It’s perfect! 

Mmmm… Pie....

I’m sorry. What was I saying? Oh. Which kind in particular. That’s a tough one. I’ll go with nice peach pie, though.

Mmmm… Peach pie…

OK! Better turn things over back to you before I drool myself to death. (I’m sure it’s a thing!)

I too am a pie-guy… mainly now since I have to be gluten free and gluten free cakes are crazy heavy… but I often defer my pie eating to cheesecake… which can easily be made sans gluten. Peach pie is a particularly southern delicacy, and both Virginia and Tennessee are both a little far north for that to be a pervasive choice there.  Question 4: Where did you run into peach pie? that is oddly specific, and I can almost guarantee you that the only people who even know of peach pie have spent some amount of time in or adjacent to Georgia … (you will stop drooling when I tell you to.  My blog, my rules.) 

Drooling stopped. For now…

I may have picked up the peach pie habit in Tennessee where Atlanta was a mere 3-4 hour drive away.

However, the habit actually formed here in Kentucky. There was a local eating establishment known for their baked goods. They had a peach pie on the menu. Every year for my birthday, instead of a cake, I got that pie.

Unfortunately they closed this past year and I did not get my pie. Thank you for opening up an old wound.

I do what I can.  There is a local store here in Columbus called “Just Pies”  Just Pies only sells pies, and I do loves me some pie.  Unfortunately a while ago I realized that I am gluten intolerant, and can no longer partake in anything from Just Pies…. Not even their pumpkin chiffon pie this holiday season…. We all have pain, Tom.  We all have pain…

Question 5: So what non-typical food do you have to avoid at all costs just because you don’t like it?  For me it is coconut… that shit can go to the tropical hell from whence it came.

Ouch! I’m here for you, man! Hang in there. 

You know what? I cannot think of a single food that I have to avoid. I am probably one of the least picky eaters ever. I guess there are foods that I prefer not to eat, but if I were at a dinner party and something showed up in front of me, I would have no problems choking it down.

Best I can come up with is something called “hot tea” that was anything but tea.

The first winter I lived in the South I was offered a cup of “hot tea” which I accepted. Instead of tea, it was some boiled concoction of fruit juices and spices with nary a tea leaf to be found. I prefer my juice to be cold.

Of course, I dutifully drank it, but from that moment on I always ask for a list of ingredients.

Wow, “hot tea” sounds terrible, and I am from the south…. There are not many places in the south that serve any form of hot tea.  Most tea there is Sweet Tea overflowing with ice. This is, in my opinion, an abomination.  It takes the bitterness of tea and tries to mask it with the sickly sweet of a sugar syrup. Practiced manufacturers of Sweet Tea will heat the tea to just under boiling in order to super saturate the solution with as much sugar as possible.  That sweet lady making the sweet tea may not understand the chemistry behind it, but she can dissolve a pound of sugar into a 8 oz glass of tea.

So, Question 6: What was the first PC/console Game that grabbed you and made you realize that computer gaming was a thing and, more importantly, that it was a thing of which you absolutely must participate?

F-22 Lightning 3, a combat flight game released in 1999 that offered an online, multi-player option. I joined a “squadron” and my callsign was “Shadowman”.

Not only did that grab me as far as gaming was concerned, it pulled me into a world where one did not have to play solo. The idea that one could sit at home and be one part of a greater whole was particularly attractive to me. Finding a place where my weaknesses could be offset by a teammate and vice versa.

I like to think of myself as a team player.

I don’t like people that much, but I love playing games with my friends.  The first game where this happened for me was Diablo where some friends would port a computer to a friend’s house and then have a LAN party.  I would be the warrior, and my 2 best friends would be the sorcerer and the rogue… The guy who played the rogue often shot us in the back “accidentally.” He collected many ears….  we then all eventually connected to the Internets and would use the Battlenet to connect for Diablo II.  We graduated to the original Ghost Recon where I made a Ronald McDonald mod for the Ghosts.  It was amazing.  We were all versions of the Clown of the Fast Foods killing badguys.  For our grad school and post doc we did World of Warcraft for a while…  Now we are all old and do not game together every Friday night.  I am lonely and have no friends now.

Question 7: Will you be my friend, and if so, what game would we play?

Silly Scott. If you look deeply within yourself you will see that we’ve been friends all along.

My current game of choice is Destiny on the Xbox One where I play along with several Chatrealmers.

But I’m not picky. Any game we both share at least a moderate interest in will work. Particularly if you mod it to include Ronald McDonald. Clowns live in a dark world and fast-food clowns most of all.

I will try to dig up some screenshots of the mod… it was sooo long ago though… So much fun to play, and so many bad fast food cliches and puns.  I don’t know how many times I typed “you want fries with that?” after a headshot.  (all traces of that mod are gone...  )

Good.  we are now, and have for a long time been friends.  I am relegated to an Xbox 360, of which my boy plays the most games.  I would need some longform PvE gameplay to get me up to speed with the more recent combat systems.  Controllers are not my friends.  The boy is pretty darn good with Plants vs Zombies: Garden Warfare.  He loves it.  I have been thinking about that Shadows of Mordor thing… but I am gun shy of the time commitment to finish.  

Question 8: What do you think the next big innovation is gaming is going to be?

This is a tough one. I’m going to say… Artificial Intelligence. AIs in games have gotten better in recent years, but there is still room for improvement. I think that soon you won’t be able to tell if the person you’re playing against or interacting with is a real person or not.

At least that’s the best I can come up with so that’s what I’m going with.

I’ll take it.  I think that the AI in the games right now is definitely becoming better and better.  This will be a largely transparent effect in the games though.  The AI getting smarter will be truly interesting when the algorithm starts causing the AI characters to start doing irrational emotion based decisions… that will be truly scary.

I think the next big thing will be parabolic displays for near immersion.  Small DLP mounted behind the player with retractable drapery screens to extend around the primary display screen.  Instant mech cockpit, etc… It would mainly be for PC gamers because most PC gamers are relatively close to their displays.  Console gaming happens on a couch 10 feet away from a larger display.

Question 9: Fill in the blanks:  I find that I am mostly _______________.  Others find that I am mostly _______________. 

Let's see... I find that I am mostly often joking. Others find that I am mostly serious all the time.

This is probably more so true in real life versus online where you don't see my intense, "straight man" stare.

So the “intense ‘straight man’ stare” is what puts you over the edge? Interesting.  Most people I have found have the exact opposite for how they feel they are mostly and how they think most people perceive them.  This is becoming an odd truth for humanity that I am gleaning with a sample size of about 20.  

Question 10:  How many observations are necessary for me to make sweeping generalizations about humanity with impunity?

Based on what I see in general on the Internet, the answer to that is zero.

Good point there.

Considering that last point, let’s get real here… Questions 11: Do you think the greater connectivity afforded by the Internet has 1) increased the cross-pollination of ideas and dissemination of ideas or 2) increased the ability of like minds to close themselves off in digital walled gardens more and Balkanized ideologies more.  Is the Internet akin to a higher tide raises all boats or is the Internet crabs in a pot pulling each other down?

I’m not sure I take those as A/B options. I think the Internet is akin to a higher tide raises all boats… including boats I don’t like.

Some boats contain people who are of like mind and aren’t interested in the sharing of ideas. Some boats contain the other kind of people.

When I describe my views on technologies, I tend to stress that it’s a tool. Like any good tool, it increases output. A pulley, for instance, allows a person to lift more than they normally would be able to. The Internet is the same. People are people. The Internet just allows them to be more people-y. If that makes any sense.

Not sure if that exactly answered the question. I’m sure you’ll let me know, though. ;)

I kind of put you in a spot to pick, but I think it is clearly a mixture of the two thoughts. There is a tendency for trolling and Balkanization of thought, but the predominant movement, I think, is the elevation of everyone.  It really is the higher tide raising all the boats.  I feel really positive about the Internet and how people interact with it, and how people will interact with it…. which leads to Question 12: So… um… Artificial Intelligence, you think it will be the downfall of the human race or will it be the beginning of a new age of enlightenment?

Again, the answer is probably somewhere in the middle, but I tend to look at it positively. So I’ll go with “new age of enlightenment”. While people way smarter than I am have gone on the record to say how dangerous AI will be, I have a more optimistic view. Let’s call it cautious optimism.

There is danger with any new technology. I don’t believe we should be so scared of a potential uncertain outcome that we should not pursue it; walking forward with eyes wide open, of course.

That said, an advanced AI has many potential upsides. Getting the answers to questions we haven’t even thought to ask yet? It’s like Google Now or Siri but orders of magnitude better by not being boxed in by being boxed in by canned searches and narrow trigger areas.

Then a science-fiction level AI would bring intelligence with a perspective very different from our own. Imagine having a real conversation with an entity having completely different wants or needs. It has the potential to be very enlightening.

Or scary. That’s fair too.

I tend to think that overall AI will be a benefit for society.  The doom and gloom that some feel is coming I feel has a small chance of coming to fruition.  I think it is something that should be considered and thought about, but I do not feel that AI will be a detriment to humanity… Holy cripes, I think I am an optimist.  How the hell did that happen?

When I played soccer as a kid, I would put on my uniform in a very specific sequence for LUCK!, but in reality it was a ritual that I did to get myself in the proper mental space to play the game.  Question 13: Do you have any phobias, superstitions, or rituals? 

Rituals maybe. But not in the sense that I think it helps prepare me for something. It’s more obsessive compulsive than anything. I don’t think I’m full-blown OCD because not doing a thing does not cause me too much pain. Possibly I’m just eccentric.

Some examples…

I eat one thing at a time. I start with the thing I like the least and end with the thing I like the most. I don’t mind if my food touches and I’m perfectly fine with foods designed to be mixed.

If I’m eating while watching TV or a movie, I won’t touch my food until the show actually starts. So if I get popcorn at a theater, the bag/bucket will sit there through the advertisements and movie previews/trailers until the main feature starts.

When I get a new CD/DVD/Blu-ray I quickly unwrap it and spin the disc in the package until the label is correctly orientated. I also remove the anti-theft stickers.

I alphabetize my books, comics, movies, etc.

And I’m sure many more little behaviors that people surely find charmingly strange.

Alrighty then. I completely understand most of these.  The not eating movie food until the movie starts is not on my radar at all.  I will devour most food prior to the feature, usually by the 3rd trailer I am done.  

Question 14: Speaking of eating… What do you crave at 9 or 10 at night?  Is it typically sweet or salty?

Typically sweet. The dessert I probably skipped at dinner because it’s not healthy. So basically “pie” is the answer (see question #3). It’s why I try not to keep any convenient sweets around.

I am a sucker for salty chips kind of snacks late at night… mid afternoon is when I have to fight the need for sugar-based snacks… and the morning… and the middle of the night… and right after lunch, and … ugh.  I really like sugary stuff, what of it?

Question 15: Is your primary vocation, your job, fulfilling or is it merely a means to getting a benefits package and a paycheck?

Unfortunately, it’s just a paycheck. I made the mistake that so many have made and got suckered into a management position. Then as others left, my role expanded to fill those responsibilities.

If I could roll back the clock about 5 years and go back to when I was coding or working with databases or managing servers, I would do it in a heartbeat. 

In fact, if you know of anything… preferably in the south-west… no? My quest continues then.

I am currently acquiring a paycheck as well. Well… the paycheck and full time state benefits.  I am also in the process of getting a degree in User Experience Design… hopefully the employment switch will change soonish…

Question 16: So, what is your passion?  What is it that you cannot help but do?

I love to code, but I’ve been out of that game for a few years and I’m afraid I’m falling too far behind.

I also love to draw/paint/design, but I’m too chicken to try to make a living doing that. That sounds too much like working for myself and I’m trying to get out of management.

Ah, but managing yourself is not like true management.  Coding is definitely an industry that requires constant learning.  Code changes and evolves so fast, I always marvel at people who can code.  That type of algorithmic thinking is outside of my wheelhouse.  I understand the flow chart of how programs work, the skeletal nature and process diagram, the map of a program, if you will, but I am horrible at routines and subroutines.  I need to change that somewhat iffens I want to be employable in this new economy.

Question 17: Is there a question that you expected me to ask or were hoping I would ask, but I haven’t?

Not really. I try not to have expectations and I’ve learned to not hope for things (because I just might get them).

I’m probably just more relieved at this point that you’ve not asked potentially embarrassing questions like “where were you and what were you doing during the day of November 22nd, 1963”.

I don’t try to break conspiracy theories on this blog.  Just inane questions that lead nowhere.  Ah, my dreaded question, the question that usually leads to uncomfortable truths about nothing consequential.  The shoe is now on the other foot.  The student has become the master, Question 18:  Do you have any questions for me?

Yes! Where were you on the day of… no… wait… 

Why does your FAQ not have 20 questions and answers? You only have 15 there. Seems like a bit of a double standard.

http://www.20questionstuesday.com/read-me/

In part that was just an excuse to post a link to your FAQ, which really answers most of the questions I’d have likely asked otherwise.

The initial idea was to get 20 Questions in the FAQ… I could only come up with 15.  If you have any questions for the FAQ let me know and I will gladly add them.  It is very difficult to ask yourself 20 questions on any specific topic, even if that topic is one that is broad like 20 Questions Tuesday.  You will dry up on questions and answers that you feel would be compelling to the casual observer around 11 or so.  Then you can force a few more.  What I need are a few sets of new voices to round out those last 5.  

Question 19:  What are you taking from these 20 Questions that you did not bring in with you?

Maybe not what you’re looking for, but I feel as if I know you a little better now. I’ve read quite a few of these that you’ve done and I really enjoy that it’s very much a two-way street. Obviously I have no problems sharing. Anyone who follows me on Twitter probably wishes I were a bit more… selective in my posts. But this was a great opportunity to have a conversation with you, find out what we have in common and just “chat” in a way that we can’t on the aforementioned Twitter.

Well, that is kind of the point.  I feel that it is absolutely necessary for me to share with whomever I am asking questions because this process needs to be a give and take process.  I have found over time with these 20 Questions Tuesdays that when I do not give back and interact, the answers I get suffer.  Plus, I ain’t got nothing to hide.  I have really enjoyed this and am really excited to know you better now.

Question 20:  What is next for you?  Be as grounded or philosophical, concrete or vague, and/or short-term or long-term as you want to be.

My goals for 2015 are to brush up on my coding skills, continue to pursue artistic endeavors, get more involved in the podcasting scene and hope that somehow those come together to create an employment opportunity that I can be truly passionate about.

We shall see!

Thank you for taking the time to talk to me. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Well this was absolutely delightful, and now I have a new friend I have never met, and that is awesome.  Everyone should see what Tom is up to by following everything he is doing.  That can happen by looking at his twitter feed, his flickr pool, and his about me page.  Do it!  The pics in this post are all his, and they are all great.

To recap:
Tomorrow is Christmas Eve
All is good
I think it is awesome that I have an interview on Christmas week
Better than the absolutely nothing I will most likely have next week
I have 3 drawings left to switch out on my work shelves to replace all the 2013 pics
So, everyone
Have a holly jolly christmas
the best time of the year
oh, by golly have a holly jolly christmas
this year!

Have a great week everyone!

20 Questions Tuesday: 306 - Potpourri

This weekend I traveled up to northern Ohio to pick up some domesticated rats so our kids could have some pets.  We got 3 female rats from a very reputable rattery.  We have named them thusly: Ginger, Cocoa, and Carol, and they are endlessly entertaining.  Eventhough I could have done “Pets” or “Rats” or something along those lines,  I could not, for the life of me come up with a specific topic for today’s post… so I went with the old stand-by of “Potpourri.”  Sometimes letting people ask anything is a good thing… sometimes it is just bringing woe and consternation upon one’s own heavily furrowed brow.

Thanks this week go to Steve J,  Lsig, The Wife, El Silverio, Sandy, Stuponitron, Chris corrigan, Nadolny, LaRock and some other guy.  Onto the questions:

1. Any holiday shopping traditions that you had growing up and have you continued those traditions with your kids?
Nope, unless you consider the growing tradition of buying every good goddamn thing online that we can find and not actually shopping in the throngs of unwashed germ-ridden people.  I am buying Christmas gifts while wearing my pajamas with un-clipped finger-nails and my feet safely tucked away in Kleenex boxes.

2. Why are you still doing 20 Questions Tuesdays? (Not intended to be snarky!)
The enjoyment of doing this still outweighs the heartache… but only barely.  IT is becoming more and more difficult to get questions for these non-interview ones.

3. Which non-interview 20Qs got the most views?
One from long ago where I did a comparison of grape sodas in the answer of one question… well, that page consistently gets hits when the New York Times has the clue, Radars preferred drink or something like that.  The answer is either Grape Nehi or just Nehi pending on the number of letters on the answer.  

4. Are you done with your Christmas shopping?
Nope

5. When are you coming to visit us?
Man, as soon as we can.  I have no vacation built up and am hoping to hp jobs soon… does your group need a telecommuter for a Content Strategist/User Experience Design position?

6. Who is the hardest person to shop for in your gift-giving circle?
Probably me… other than me, probably the Mother-in-Law.

7. When was your last trip to a B-dubs?
Funnily enough, we got B-dubs take out the other night.  Little Man likes the boneless sweet BBQ wings, Q likes the bone in sweet BBQ wings, with the wife’s limited diet at the moment she enjoys the salt and vinegar wings, and I was surprised how much I liked the wings.  Crazy nostalgia bombs going off left and right whilst eating.  and the fries were honestly surprisingly good.

8. Which is your favorite rattie?
Ginger is the most gregarious, so she is a quick fav… but there is something about Carol that just warms my heart.  I really feel for Cocoa and hope that she doesn’t stay skittish for too long because I bet she will be the most loving.  So, different day, different favorite.

9. ...And, due to autocorrect, what is your favorite ratio?
The golden mean

10. What would you rather do today than work?
Draw

11. If you destroyed the treadmill in what creative way would you do it?
We spent waaaay too much on the treadmill.  There is no destroying it regardless of how angry I get at it.

12. Favorite mustache?
Fu-Man-Chu

13. Favorite holiday song? Favorite Holiday Tradition?
"Have a Holly Jolly Christmas"… it is just so happy fun.  The favorite holiday traditions all revolve around food….  mmmm food.

14. Will Lampard or Gerrard ever come to the MLS and what can we do to prevent it from happening, because honestly, are we still THAT kind of league?
Lamps will be here before the first game of the regular season… check that, the first Home game of NYCFC… as far as Gerrard… maybe.  I hope not though. MLS is not a retirement league… I would have thought that Lothar demonstrated that.  The amount of travel associated with the league alone makes this league more of a young man’s league.  

15.   What is the one question you dread most being asked?
This one.  Whew, got that out of the way.

16. What is your most missed memory?
I think this has to be a trick question, because the answer is clearly “I don’t know… I think I forgot it.”

17. Seen the Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies yet?  Thoughts?
I think that I need to get someone to watch the kids so that the wife and I can watch a movie.

18. Do you egg nog?
I cheap store bought in the dairy section non-alcoholic egg nog

19. Who do you most want to do a 20 Questions Tuesday interview with?
I am currently doing one of my white whale interviews and am honestly enjoying the hell out of it.  I have 3 interviews currently going on.  One with a podcaster, one with another podcast listener, and one with one of my favoritest comedians of forever.  While I am enjoying the other 2, I am a bit beside myself with the interview with the comedian… I am not willing to say that it is a definite though since it is not done, so I am uncomfortable mentioning who it is.  There is still time for me to blow this.

20. Any hopes and dreams for the rest of this year that is quickly going away?
Nope.

To recap:
I should have gone with pets
Pets make a lot of sense
It is late and I should go to bed
I asked for wi-fi enabled light bulbs for Christmas
I had no idea that I would want something like that
But… if it allows us to turn off and on the lights in the basement that we consistently forget about
Worth their weight in gold
The ratties are behind me right now

Judging me
Do I pass their judgment?
Does my heart weigh more than a feather?
Should I worry about Thoth?
Watching Cordkillers right now
You should watch it too
Have a great week everyone

20 Questions Tuesday - 305: Holiday Shopping

It is Christmas shopping season again and Christmas shopping is abundant.  Therefore this week’s topic is “holiday Shopping.” I really want to support local business and retail, but sweet gravy stores are not making it easy.  Full length plush robe retailers!  You are going to make me go to Amazon.  

This week I went ahead and asked my Facebook and Twitter peeps for an assist on coming up with questions for me to answer. It worked fairly well… so this week, it is 20 Questions about “Holiday Shopping” as brought to you my my social graph.  Thanks to my Wife, Sandy, AAR, Lsig, ElSilverio, A-AR, and Rob B.

Onto the Questions:
1. What is your strategy for holiday shopping? 
Umm… let my wife do most of it and then step in at the last moment for the last minute stuff when she looks at me exasperatedly and asks if I am doing ANYTHING this year.

2. What holidays are worth shopping for? 
Christmas, and family birthdays.

3. "Holiday shopping" makes it sounds like you are actually shopping for a holiday...what holiday is the best value? What holidays are just luxury items that we don't really need? What holidays would be in the bulk bin?
Oooh, like we are doing Fantasy Holiday League.  Who is the moneymaker, who should I bench, who should I trade high and buy low?  I love it…. and go!

If you can get Christmas on your team, you should, but that is a draft pick that is always the first to go.  I think it is time to bench St Patrick’s Day.  While large quantities of booze will be consumed not much durable goods will accompany that holiday.  Bench it.  Sell High?  That is Easter.  The springtime rebirth festivals are waning due to recovering from the winter solsticine holidays, but its name recognition alone will get some high value, but completely lack the payout you’d expect.  Sell High!  Buy Low?  Arbor Day, with the resurgence of Earth Day, Arbor Day is it’s cheaper cousin.  Everyone likes trees and with Earth Day on April 22, Arbor Day on April 24th allows the people who forgot Earth Day to plant a tree.  Buy Low.  This is Scott Ryan-Hart with the weekly Fantasy Holiday League Report.

4. Do you like to shop with someone else or alone? why?
When getting gifts for difficult people I find it best to have a wingman, but if it is a slam dunk easy decision, I like to fly solo.

5. Does the individuals likability affect how much time and money you spend?
Certainly.

6.  List or gift from the heart? Or whatever you deem worthy?
A list is a good thing, but the kids are getting rather savvy with their lists… the lists they give right now tend to be skeletal in depth and breadth.  So for those lists, I like to go off-book.  For people with bajillions of things on their list, I will gladly choose from something on their list.

7. Do you like going to the mall?
Nope

8. Do you buy people things they "need" and practical, or something they might "want" but would be a bit of a luxury?
I feel that a gift should consist of something that the recipient would not typically get for themselves.  Sometimes this is something they need that is practical that they are unwilling to shell out the money for, and sometimes this is an extravagance that is luxurious.

9. What gift (for which you shopped) did you get the best reaction from the recipient?
Hmmm… It wasn’t for a holiday, but the reaction of my girlfriend becoming my fiancée
was pretty cool.

10. Last minute deal finder or early bird gets great worms or a little of both?
I am a middle of the road shopper.  I like to get to places before they are completely picked over, but not when the outrageous mobs are present. 

11. What the bleep is Green Monday?
It is an eBay flavored version of Cyber Monday.  It is the day of the year in the mid 00’s that eBay had their most sales and eBay’s logo is green.

12. Opinion of black Friday shenanigans
People are sheep

13. If a loved one's birthday is close to Christmas, do you go all in for one gift or painstakingly try to find two?
I think you should strive for 2 gifts that should not be related.  

14. Which store do you least like to enter, but feel compelled because that special somebody wants something from it?
Toys to the freaking R' freaking Us

15. So is Holiday Shopping a woodworking break from a job in the UK?
Yes, I suppose it could be.

16. Close to done?
Kind of?

17. Do you get the gifts wrapped at the store or wrap them at home?
My Wife actually likes wrapping gifts (to my knowledge) and will wrap most the gifts until she gets fed up with the tape on her paper-cut fingers and asks if I am doing ANYTHING this year. 

18. Do you ever try to top gifts from year to year?
Nope, that way leads only to financial ruin.

19. What gift are you looking forward to giving this year?
Nice try.

20. Shouldn’t there be a summer gift giving holiday to balance this shit out?  I mean seriously, wouldn’t two retail holidays help our GDP?
June 21st, the Summer Solstice should be a holiday… for well… reasons.

To recap:
One of my best friends and uncle to my kids’s mom passed away earlier this week
I knew this time was coming
All of the people I grew up with are in their 40’s now, so their parents are in their 60’s, 70’s and 80’s
It makes sense that it is time
But it is never the time
My heart goes out to him
Just finished watching Agents of SHIELD
That is how you do a mid-season finale
Wow… Just wow
I need to get this published and play a little of my Marvel Heroes 2015 it's a Diablo clone… so. much. fun.
Have a great week everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 304 - First Snow

It is crazy cold today… crazy cold out of nowhere crazy cold.  It was a comfy 40’s and 50’s on Sunday, but today it was 10… sweet giblets and gravy that is a shift.  Monday was the first snow of the season, and it was a gorgeous snow at that.  Anyway, the first snow made me think that this topic could work out as a great topic of a post, and I was right.  It’s my blog, I can be right, and then I had a final project that had to be finished, so this post got delayed…  So it is 20 Questions Tuesday on a Thursday!

Thanks this week go to Justin Render, pfmDesigner, lsig, Nadolny, and some other guy.  On to the Questions.

1. Well here in South Africa we didn't have snow, but I did get caught in a heavy hailstorm while on my motorbike and got pelted with ice, got soaking wet and came very close to hitting the tar with my face several times.
So I guess my question would be: if you were caught in a blizzard, what vehicle would you choose to be caught in and why? (Fictional vehicles can be considered).
Battle Cat, because green and yellow striped badass cat, that’s why.

2. Who is working to breed tauntauns? Is there a Kickstarter?
I wish there were a kickstarter… I hear they smell better on the outside

3. Would Santa be able to expand his operations if we had nuclear winter?
Nope

4. When my brothers and I got too rambunctious in the winter, mom would send us outside to see if we could find two snowflakes exactly alike. What do you do to take advantage of your children’s trust?
Everything I can, the problem is that the little buggers keep getting smarter and less trusting of my ideas.

5. What were your childhood winters like (I don’t know what kind of winter weather Alabamoids enjoy)?
We would get an inch or 2 of snow a year with the occasional 4 to 8 inch snowstorm...the rest of the time it was rainy and gray.

6. Just to settle a bet, when you lay on your back in the snow and wave your arms and legs, what does the resulting impression look like?
Oddly a chalk outline… I try not to lay down on the ground for any reason now.

7. Does your reaction to the first snowfall of the year differ significantly from that of your kids? Your spouse?
It does not differ that greatly from my wife, but it is not nearly as enthusiastic as the kids.

8. Do you have a first memory of snow? (I spent my entire childhood in NE Ohio, so I don't). 
I was carrying christmas cupcakes to my kindergarten class on the breezeway at Chalkville Elementary School and a strong gust of wind caused me to stumble, and when I stumped I saw a little tiny snowflake blow by.

9. How soon after it first snows are you sick and tired of snow?
About the same time that I have to shovel the walk.

10. How pretty was that snow?!
I know, right? it was gorgeous.

11. Did you have a scraper in the car, or did you have to go hunt it down out of the garage or such?
I had to take my wife’s car, so I was unaware where the scraper was.  I am waiting for her to get back so I can figure out where the thing is.

12. Do the kids trudge to school in this?
Nope, their stories as a kid will revolve around the horrible commute both ways in the car.

13. Any idea where the kids winter boots are?
Yup… Found both pairs.  Neither pair fits the wee beasties now.

14. Think the kids will come home with sopping wet socks?
Nope… they are not going to go outside if they can help it.

15.  How pretty was the snow?!
It really was pretty.  I should have gotten a pic, but my phone is the broken.

16. What about the cold associated with the snow?
It was bitter… so so bitter.  We went from above freezing to crazy below freezing with annoying wind chill in about 18 hours.

17. Did the kids play in the snow?
Hells no!  It was waay too cold to play in.  

18. Buffalo?!?!
I know… hollleeeee shit

19. Did the snow warrant a 2 hour delay for school on Monday?
Nope, I think it was a matter of “First Snow” over-reaction… I seem to remember this happening last year as well.

20. Was there a run on milk and bread like there is when people see a flake of snow in Alabama?
Nope, roads were clear by noon.

To recap:
Big project for school went out this week
Sorry for the delay
I should be on time and under budget the rest of the year
Only 2 more classes left until degree time
It was crazy cold on Tuesday
Crazy cold
The wife has been out of the house since Sunday
It has been a bit difficult… the house is a wreck
But now I am going to clean things up before she gets home
She will never know
Our secret, right?
Don’t snitch
Snitches get stitches
Snitches. Get. Stitches.
You understand?
Have a great week everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 303 - Odd Days Off

November 11th was Veteran’s Day here in the US.  This holiday built off of Armistice Day which was associated with the 11th day of the 11th month and commemorated the ending of the War to End All Wars, World War I.  Not so good with the titles/epithets for wars are we? Rhetorical question, the answer is not we are not.  So I had today off from work and spent much of it running around getting groceries and working on a school report that needs to be finished by Thursday… It is not near where I want it to be, but that is besides the manner.  So I had a Tuesday off from work… that is just plain odd.  It is an odd time.  If you take off Monday you can have a weirdly extreme weekend, that doesn’t feel extended weekendy.  That is no fun.

So this week’s topic is “Odd Days Off.”  Thanks this week go to Dr B Dawg, Chris Ring, and Some other guy.  On to the questions:

1.  What do companies make the floating holiday so nefarious? They offer it, but then they don't really want you to use it.
Most companies have altered that practice of the floating holiday to either be fixed on the Calendar (a la the day after Thanksgiving in the US) or those have become personal days that can be used at the employee’s discretion with prior approval.  

2. So, do you only take off work on odd numbered days?
I take off work on any day that I can.

3. What is odds that you will take off a day of work for shopping in December?
Very little… I am a Amazon-o-phile… many a smiling package will be delivered to the house this December.  What are the odds that I will take a “Mental Health Day” sometime in December?  Very High

4. What is the oddest reason you have heard for missing work?
Drinking 5 pots of coffee in a five hour span… that guy went to the ER with heart palpitations… He floated there by vibrating.

5. What in the world happened to Carmen Sandiego? Is it true that she was just a drug mule throughout the 80's and 90's?
I had heard it was illegal arms and jewels.  But it may have been for trafficking smack.  I never found her.  Found Waldo though… he was casing a mansion with a wizard and some chick who seriously over-identified with Waldo.

6.   Grandma called them the case of "The Green Apple Splatters" (funny but not so funny) ever called off for that?
Please, son.  I am gluten intolerant… I have called off merely for the gaseous chemical release much less anything in a liquid state.  Oh, I have stayed home because of some gastro issues, and my family went to the mother-in-law’s for dinner.

7. Mental Health Day, Best day ever? or Suck it up crybaby?
Not quite the best day ever, but definitely worth while.  

8. Odd day off used to be Ferris Bueller Day's Off, now it's Ferris has got to get some shit done around the house! When did that happen???
It all has to do with Mortgage and the responsibilities associated with that… but you are so right… Today I did not get lost in a pointalist painting by Suerat as much as I worked my tail off on getting dishes done while formatting Excel charts for a report.

9. Day that should be a Holiday?
My flipping birthday.

10. Odd day off ever backfire on you?
Of course, but you just have to roll with it.  There is nothing that can be done with it after it happened.

11.  If you could have walked into work today and yelled “Roadtrip,”  where would the people at your work want to go?
I don’t know?  They wouldn't be able to come to  consensus, that’s for damn sure.  We would spend 10 minutes arguing about where to go before most of us would peel off and go to our respective homes.

12.  Should Voting Day be a Federal Holiday in the US?
Yes it should, but it should be the first Wednesday in November because it is much more difficult for people to just tack on a vacation day and make a “long weekend.”  Most people will not take 2 days to make a crazy long vacation vs just taking 1 day to make a long weekend. 8 Hours doesn’t seem too bad compared to 16 for some reason.

13.  Columbus Day?
Yeah… so not a good idea in hindsight.  There tends to be only a few ethnicities these days that truly celebrate that day.  

14.  So there are no US Federal Holidays in March, April, June. and August… what gives?
I know, seriously, right?!?! Gimme a day off in March or April at least.  Two full months without officially sanctioned days off from work… ugh.

15.  Is there something wrong with your chronological time clock?
That’s a negative, Ghostrider. The pattern is full. 

16.  What did you do for your lunch on your day off?
I made a gluten free focaccia bread pizza… it was pretty good… Kind of heavy though.

17.  Have you ever just gotten up and gone on a road trip without pre-planning?
Nope, have to have at least the skeleton of a plan.

18.  What would you have done today if the kids were home instead of in school?
First, weep uncontrollably for a minute and then go to Big Hero 6.

19.  Anything at all fun today? 
I took some time to finish up a Mister Miracle drawing.. et viola.. Those manacles ain’t gonna hold him.  

He’s the Gee-Effin-Dee Master of Em-Effin Escape

20.  So what do you have to look forward to on Wednesday?
Um… it already is Wednesday… Holy Crap!  It is Late!

To recap:
I have 30 formatted Excel charts
And a bitch ain’t one
There is indeed nothing wrong with my chronological time clock
That last statement is clearly debatable
You know in the chronological time clock circles
I need to craft some personas and get what will end up being a 10 page paper done by bed-time Wednesday
Then I need to start on the video editing
But we will be done with this final project by Monday of next week GOTTDAMNIT!
This thing needs to be put to be before Thanksgiving
And then… only 2 more classes until I am done with this degree
Anyone looking for a guy who is soon to have his MS in User Experience Design in the Columbus area?
I am willing to go to a new job now and start a new job while finishing up the degree
I should be able to post the commission map soon
It really did turn out nicely
Crap, I need to get this published and go to bed… 
Have a great week everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 302 - April Richardson

Today I have the honor of getting 20 questions answered by April Richardson.  April is a comedian who is just delightful.  She has a quick wit and dry delivery that makes me laugh, and giggle, and sometimes titter.  She also has a podcast called “Go Bayside!” wherein she and a guest will wax eloquent about an individual episode of the seminal Saturday morning syndicated turn of the decade TV show “Saved by the Bell.”  I do not know much about the lovely Ms Richardson, mainly because I only started following her when she guested on Never Not Funny.  Since then I have attempted to consume her content as much as I can.  Mainly I have watched her spots she posts on her YouTube channel… I’m not an Internet researcher, and quite lazy.
 
Anyway… I hope to know waay more about her after these 20 questions.  Here we go
 
I was a cartographer for many years so I have a fascination with how stories play out geographically.  For example, my geographic story is rather simple.  I was born in Oklahoma City and then the fam moved to Montgomery, Alabama when I was three.  My dad chased a job up to Birmingham when I was five and we stayed just to the northeast of B’ham in a little place called Center Point, Alabama from about 5 until I graduated from High School.  I went off to school in Kent, Ohio where I met my fiance. After graduating from Kent State (Kent Read, Kent Write, Kent State) We moved to Columbus, Ohio for grad school and got hitched there. We have lived in the Columbus, Ohio area for the past 17+ years no more than 2 miles from a Dairy Queen of some fashion.  Question 1: What is your geographic story?

Well, I was born in Savannah, Georgia, where we lived until my real dad bailed when I was 3, and soon after that, my mom met my stepdad while he was on a business trip -- he lived in Atlanta, so when they decided to marry, my mom and I moved four hours north into his house about 20 minutes outside of ATL; that's where I grew up. After high school, I spent a few years in England, on and off, with a dear friend I'd met in high school -- I lived with him and his parents in Manchester until I ran out of money, came back to Atlanta, and went to college at Georgia State University. Two days after graduating, I moved to Los Angeles, and I've been here now for almost 10 years, which totally blows my mind.

Southern roots will definitely color how one looks at the world, and more poignantly, how the world looks at you.  Question 2:  Do you still get any people making crazy assumptions about you because you originally hail from the deep south?

Oh absolutely. When I first moved here and told people I was from Georgia, they would say the craziest shit to me -- mostly white people, of course. They would weirdly want me to like, commiserate with their racism? In my first apartment in L.A., I lived with my ex-husband in the bottom floor of a three-story house, and one day this white woman came to look at the vacant second floor, and knocked on our door to ask about the neighborhood -- she asked where we'd moved from, and when we said Georgia, she said something like, "Oh okay, so you made sure all the neighbors are all white, right?" in this creepily optimistic tone. Something super racist like that, like I was going to high-five her or something, like, "Yeah we whiteys gotta keep these neighborhoods pure!" I was like, "Uh, WHAT?!" It was insane. 

But one of the raddest things to happen to me occurred only a couple of weeks after moving here -- I was driving to work one morning, and I still had my Fulton County license plate on my car, and a black lady pulled up next to me at a red light and signaled for me to roll my window down and yelled, "You just moved here from Atlanta? Welcome! I think you're gonna love it here!" and gave me a huge smile, and it was so amazing. Southern hospitality on the West Coast!

I was on a plane to England when I was 10 or so and the person in the row in front of me asked where I was from with a very thick Midlands accent.  I said Birmingham, Alabama and his immediate response was “Ah, George Wallace, water cannons, and dogs.”  Oh, Deep South, your reputation precedes you.  
 
From the immortal Paul F Tompkins bit I bring you Question 3: Cake o Pie?  Which specific kind and why?

Oh man. Dude. Let me say this first: I have the most ridiculous sweet tooth known to man. I will eat anything and everything with sugar in it at all hours of the day and night. This is such a difficult question for me. However, I really really love cherries (they're my favorite fruit), so at the risk of sounding like Warrant's number one fan, I'd have to say cherry pie!

I have found in my years of doing these 20 questions that people who select pie really like pie, but people who select cake would kick a puppy in the rain for a slice of cake, a slice of cake that would only be made sweeter by it being taken from someone else.  Question 4: If you had to guess (and these are my 20 questions, so you do have to guess the “If you had to guess” was really me just being polite), why do you think cake-eaters are so much more vehemently desirous of cake than pie-lovers fancy a slice of pie?

Again, considering how much I love sweets, I couldn't tell you -- I'll take either/both any day of the week.

Question 5: When did you realize that you are a funny person?  Was there a keystone moment or was it a gradual realization?  This, of course, presupposes that you feel you are funny.  You are.  Carry on.

Heh, well, if you say so, I will labor under the assumption that I am humorous. And really, as far back as I can remember being able to talk, I was cracking jokes. Classic "class clown" shit. I mean, in like, kindergarten I remember being reprimanded for yelling shit out, and then as I got a little older, like in middle school and stuff, I knew I was weird and I knew I wasn't going to be popular or whatever, so it was also that tried-and-true "make fun of myself before you can make fun of me" stuff. But I truly just always enjoyed making people laugh, making light of weird situations. I think I also knew I didn't excel at anything else -- I was a terrible student and wasn't very academically minded, so one-liners were kind of the only things I perfected during class, ha! And I guess I knew I wasn't too terrible at it because I got in far less trouble than I should have -- teachers kind of laughed at me instead of yelling at me. Also I was voted "Wittiest" of my senior class, so if that's not a solid seal of approval, I don't know what is, heh.

Question 6: What is the most bizarre place you have been for doing the stand-ups?

Hmmm... I was going to say "When you first start out, you say 'yes' to any type of show you can get," but I still do that! But I did stand-up at a rockabilly fashion show once; that was super interesting. I was modeling in the show (stop rolling your eyes, I do that sometimes), so I was all dressed up and had tons of pinup makeup on and stuff, and then the woman running the event was like, "Can you do a set while the girls change?" and I was like, "Sure!" and I went out there on the catwalk, still dressed up, with no mic, and just tried to do a set for 10 minutes, but ended up kind of just dicking around towards the end to try to loosen everyone up. I could tell they were like, "Wait, what? You're telling jokes now?" because I still looked so done up, and a burlesque act was coming up next, so I'm sure they were thinking, "Shut up, we want to see boobs!" But it ended up being fun and a really interesting learning experience on how to bring the crowd around to your side. Also I did stand-up in South Africa once, just jumping up to do a set at a club while I was visiting my friend Michelle in Cape Town, and that was surreal and amazing. I always assume my humor won't translate elsewhere, but it went shockingly well!

I currently make maps for a living, but drawing is where I am more passionate at the moment. Question 7: What is your passion/hobby besides “Saved by the Bell.”

I am a huge record collector, and still buy physical CDs and records -- I feel like a current hobby is constantly having to rip new shit into iTunes! I also started making zines when I was 14, and while I haven't made one in about five years, I still buy and read them regularly. I read books. I see movies. I write. I write a lot of prose and stuff about music as a hobby -- way more than I write comedy, which is pretty dumb. I need to switch that up. I also love clothes and fashion, just like a giiiiiirl.

Concerning “Saved by the Bell,” Question 8: Who do you identify with most from the show?  Or is your specific identification with the characters more fluid pending on what is going on with you at that time?

Ha! I mean, I don't think I identify with any of them, really... but if pressed, maybe Zack? But not in the terrible sociopath way, but in high school I did kind of do whatever I wanted -- I hope I didn't fuck over as many people as he did in the process, but I really didn't accept "no" for an answer very often. If I wanted to say, go drive to another state to see Morrissey, it was going to happen -- I was going to do what I needed to do to get there, if it involved sneaking out or telling my mom I was sleeping over at a friend's house or whathaveyou. But I never sold the principal's car for concert money or anything too insane.

I never really got into “Saved by the Bell.”  I was always angry when it came on because that meant that the cartoons on Saturday morning was over…  “Saved by the Bell” was the death knell of the Saturday morning cartoon.  As Saved became more popular, producers realized how much cheaper lower budget live action was compared to traditional animation… then shows like The Power Rangers et al… started to replace the cartoons.  Question 9: Why do you hate Saturday morning cartoons?

Haha! HOW DARE YE! I fucking LOVE(D) cartoons. LOVED. I actually own some Tom & Jerry DVDs! That shit and Bugs Bunny still make me genuinely belly laugh. Bugs Bunny was truly hilarious.

Question 10:  please fill in the blanks.  I feel that I am mostly _____________.  Others feel that I mostly ___________.

Chill; am a spaz?

Question 11: Why do you feel there is the disparity between how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you?

Maybe sometimes? But I know how ridiculous I can be, so I don't really fault anyone for thinking I'm an immature spaz, but I think sometimes when people hang with me one-on-one, they're kind of like, "Oh, you're not as nuts as I thought you'd be," heh. I never want to be someone who can't stop joking/doing bits -- that's just as exhausting to be around as someone who takes everything completely seriously. I hope I'm at least close to reaching a balance of those two things.

Question 12: There are 12 items in a “gross.”  What else is gross?

Your mom.

Fair point.

Growing up I played soccer, and before matches I would go through a pre-game “luck” ritual, a sequence of preparation of how I got dressed for the games.  I did it saying it was for “luck” but in reality, it was more of a ritual to get me in the correct mindset for the game.  Question 13: Do you have any superstitions or rituals in your life?  Is there a particular ritual you go through to get ready to get on stage or go on TV?

Not really? And not because I'm super logical or something, but more because I have a bad memory -- I probably would forget a ritual I was meant to do before every performance, ha! "Wait, what was I supposed to do? Kiss my rabbit's foot or something before going on stage?" I really just try to read over my jokes multiple times as to not forget them -- that's what I do most before any show or TV thing. And I make sure I don't have lipstick on my teeth. Boring answer!

Question 14: What is your go-to midnight snack?  

Dude, those flavored Triscuits are MY SHIT. Literally every single flavor they make is fucking DELICIOUS, but I guess my favorites are fire roasted tomato & olive oil and the dill, sea salt & olive oil ones. I can get a whole box of them down my neck in one sitting, like a hoss.

Woe be unto me if there is Vanilla Bean ice cream in the house… for it will not be in the house long, but my usual late-night snack is something crunchy and salty.
 
Question 15: Is everything okay?  Is this remotely interesting to you? Are you enjoying this? Please validate me.

This is great! YOU are great! You are a wonderful interviewer! Hang in there buddy, just like the poster with the kitten!

I get really self-conscious about these because of how long they tend to be.  It is typically around 15 that I lose my calm cool demeanor and get all needy.  Thanks for this time so far.
 
Question 16: In the past week, what is an interesting tidbit of knowledge that you have learned? It can be about absolutely anything...

I watched a couple documentaries about Julian Assange and Anonymous and "hacktivists" and learned the definition/concept of Noble Cause Corruption, so there's that.

I just learned that the Romans considered the rat to be a sign of good luck.  I imagine that changed after the Bubonic Plague was assisted in spreading by rats… and by RATT, what comes around goes around…
 
Sometimes the people I am asking these 20 Questions have things they are expecting.  Also this is a good way for me to make you do my job… Question 17:  Is there a question that your were expecting me to ask but I haven’t?  If so, what is that question and what is that answer?  If not, what is your favorite color?

My mom's maiden name? My pin number? I am not telling you either of those things! But my favorite color is blue.

Turnabout is fair play, so I throw everyone that does these a bone.  Here is the questions I most dread asking… Question 18: What question do you want to ask me?

When did you first get into comedy? Who was the first comedian to make an impression on you? Who is your favorite comedian?

I started watching comedian people by staying up late and watching the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson… I would always hope that a comedian would be on and would be incredibly disappointed when Johnny would bump the comedian for more time with the 5th grade spelling bee champion or the 4 year old who knew dinosaur names.  This evolved into watching specials at friends’ houses and getting comedy albums via the bajillion free tapes in the BMG music club.  

I loved the comedy so much that I did stand up in my elementary school talent show for both 4th and 5th grade.  4th grade was a buddy act, but Patrick was just dragging me down… dead weight.  I carried him like a suitcase.  5th grade I did it on my own.  4 shows over 2 years and I killed Every. Damn. Show.  I got out of the game on top… always leave the crowds wanting more, right?

I want to do it again… Well, that secret is out now.

I guess my favorite comedian out there right now is Jimmy Pardo… I would love to get him to do one of these 20 Questions but I am too afraid to ask.

Question 19:  What are you taking from these 20 Questions that you did not bring in with you?

Introspection!

Well, I can ask for nothing more than that.

Question 20:  What’s next?  Be as concrete or as vague, short-term or long-term, philosophical or practical as you want to be.

I have absolutely no idea, truly. I worked on a television show for four years and that ended in August, and then my podcast ended in September, and now it's October and I am starting from scratch. I am thinking of new podcast ideas, thinking of new jokes, auditioning, writing, just doing what I can to stay creative during this downtime. I am excited for new opportunities in 2015! Hopefully! And to hopefully do stand-up in various cities across this great nation very soon!

Well, the next time you are in Columbus, Ohio or within 2 hours of Columbus, I will make sure to see your show and say, “Hi.”  If possible, I would love to grab a bite to eat and chat with you in person like a human.

Everyone check out April’s website here, and follow her on the Instagrams (aprilrich) and the Tweets (@Apey).  She is quirky and fun and should be followed… not physically, that’s creepy.

To recap:
20 Great answers to 14 mediocre questions
Yep, that math checks out
So many things to do when I get done with this schooling
I need to change jobs
I need to ramp up my sequential art stuffs
I need to do some open mics
Crap, did I just type that?
Oh, well…. 
Oh, and get a better exercise regime
Definitely need to exer-ma-cize more
That was a great 20 Questions… 
Hope you enjoyed the belated Halloween 20 Questions I posted yesterday
Have a great week everyone

20 Question Tuesday (on a Monday): 301 - Halloween (belated)

Well, it looks like this should have posted on Tuesday of last week… Happy Halloween all… another post will happen tomorrow.

Anyway… Halloween was on Friday and the kids have gotten gobs of candy.  Gobs and gobs of candy… The little one is fueled by chocolate at the moment.  Chocolate and creamy nougat.

Thanks last week go to: Mike, pfmDesigner, Nadolny, Maj. McArmypants, and DrJHP

Onto the questions:

1.  Halloween themed adult parties. Good or bad?
In general, they are bad, but adults do need an outlet to have parties.

2.  Favourite treat to steal from your kids (or anyone's kids, for that matter) -- which candy just doesn't seem to get given out at your door and you're "unfortunately" left with extra that you'll have to eat?
Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.

3.  At what point (date) do you just stop giving the leftover candy to your kids? Or do you let them eat it ALL, like an awful, awful parent.
We take all the candy away from the kids 2 days later and tell them they lost their chance to eat the sweets.

4.  What non-commercial costume have you seen that made you absolutely double-over in laughter?
It is difficult to get me to double over with laughter due to costuming.  I can not recall any.

5.  When confronted with the “Honor System” bowl of candy, how honorable were you?
Very honorable.  Wrongfully honorable... so many Spree could have been mine!

6.  What would be your dream costume for yourself as an adult?
Something worthy of the 501st… prolly a Biker Scout… in some ways I envy Mr Troyan of a previous 20 Questions.

7.  With whom would you most like to go Trick-Or-Treating?
My kids… and Keith Richards.

8.  What is the correct term for a group of clowns?
A “horror of clowns”

9.  Seen the new Halloween peeps? Brilliant marketing or just sad?
I have not seen them, but peeps are an abomination, Easter, Christmas, Halloween, or else
 
10.  What was the best candy you got as a kid? Full sized candy bars? (mine were full sized bars)
Full sized candy bars for the win.

11.  Worst candy thing as a kid? Mine was some stale chocolates from a 10 month old valentine heart candy box (I could see it through the old lady’s window).
Some weird peanut butter candy crap that came in black in red wax paper.  Ugh, they were horrible.

12.  Hot apple cider on Halloween?
Hot apple cider.... mmmm mulled cider

13.  Thoughts on the kids carving pumpkins? Designs this year?
My kids are almost useless when it comes to doing things.  I swear it is like watching the before examples in infomercials.  Both kids lost their shit while trying to draw their jack-o-lantern’s faces… utterly useless.  I am not sure we are preparing the kids for real life.

14.  What’s with the pumpkin flavoured everything this year? (asked in my best Jerry Seinfeld voice).
Because autumn is the time of pumpkin.  Pumpkin is autumn.  Autumn Pumpkin.  Who made Autumn the time of pumpkin?  I wanna know.  How does allspice feel about this? (answered in my best incredulous Jerry Seinfeld voice)

15.  When will you start taking the kids to Haunted Houses?
Probably never.  I do not like the Haunted Houses

16.  In terms of "costumery", some people really go all out.  Do you think there is an effort level or age level (or both) where it just gets weird?
No, I don’t think so because many people want to dress up every day of the year, but keep them selves dress-up sequestered until the Halloween season.  They should look into conventions and the term “Cosplay’ and rock that shit.  It ain't for me to judge.
 
17.  Remember when almost all of the store-bought costumes were flammable plastic?  (and I mean "flammable" flammable, not some "well technically everything will burn in the presence of oxygen at the appropriate temperature" argument, but like "tree tinsel on a birthday candle" flammable.)  Hard to believe that was actually in your lifetime isn't it? 
The 70’s and 80’s were clearly fueled by cocaine… mass produced instantly flammable or easily meltable products… <<sniff

18.  What was the lamest costume you ever wore?
An actual carved pumpkin on my head… lay off, grandpa had just died and we were stuff in Mom’s hometown without any of our Halloween supplies.  We did what we had to do…  Would love to know if there are pictures of that horrible horrible time of my life

19.  Do teenagers nowadays egg houses with organic or free range?
Not mutually exclusive categories.  The good ones use both.

20.  What is going on? It seems like the stores bypassed Halloween and Thanksgiving and went right to Christmas already!
Christmas makes money… what can they say?

To recap:
Criminy, I really need to clean my office
I will do that tonight
It will take multiple trash bags for recycling purposes
Co-worker just let me know there's another job in their future
Good for that co-worker
This office hasn't been the same since we moved to the big building up the hill
Hasn't been the same at all
The move directly contributed
I have been drinking more water lately
In lieu of exercising
Neither is working for me
Now I am wheezing and tired from getting up to pee all the time
Research project is doing well
Will be done in a few weeks
That is nice
Then 2 more classes until done
Wooooo!

A 20 Question Interview will post tomorrow

20 Questions Tuesday: 300 - This is Madness

Madness? This is 20 Questions Tuesday!

wow… 300 of these?  With hack bits like that? You know this won’t be good.  It is best that I reference a movie that has been out since 2006 that I have not ever seen.  Yes… that is the best course of action.  Indeed the best course of action ever.  

Thanks this week go to Nadolny, Andrew Miller, Dr JHP, Bill Meeks, Tom Merritt, Scott Johnson, Brian Brushwood, Maj Mc Armypants, Chris Corrigan, and Justin Robert Young.  Since this is a special number... I am answering all the questions that were sent in. So, without further ado, onto the questions.

1.  Will there be no escape for the Princess this time?

Nope, the Empire will have her in their firm clutches for a while now.

2.  It’s not March, couldn’t you have procrastinated until them for #300 for the added pun? I have faith in you, I know you could!

March is a good bit away… I am not sure I could vamp for 5 months.

3. Texting while driving?

Truly madness.

4.  Do we need more loony bins? Is it inappropriate to call them loony bins? Loony is just short for lunatic, which has a cool etymology. Or maybe we should call them loonie bins and only accept payment for stays there in Canadian currency.

I would love to see looney bins payed for by Loonies…  2 Canadian dollars at a time. And yes, it is inappropriate.

5.  Is Mad cow disease really a thing?

Yup, it is a horrible bovine disease called bovine spongiform encephalopathy.

6.  Can you connect the 300th 20-question-round-up, the movie "300," the theme of madness, and the band Madness? Extra points if somehow tie in how these emails are less 20-questions and more Proust's questionnaire.

Yup, sure can.  Just wait.

7.  300!? Will you be donning Spartan garb? It is close to Halloween you know.

No Spartan garb this time… mainly because I am rather flabby.  For the record, this ain't Sparta... it is Central Ohio and we have cheesecake here.

8.  300 hundred is perfect in bowling, what is a perfect score in any other sport?

The Golden Set in Tennis 6-0, 6-0

9 Dart Finish in Darts

And a perfect game in baseball….

9.   Do some math thingy and have the answer be 300, its gotta include some Greek letters and whatnot I think.

Nope… I am not your puppet.  You are not the boss of me.  This is not a question, this is a directive.

10.  What was going on in the world in 300 BC, 300 AD?

in 300 BC:  A boat sank

in 300 AD: A boat sank…  here is the thing, when you ask about a date in history, you can always say, a boat sank.

11.   After 300 episodes so to speak are you still having fun with it?

I do still find this interesting… sometimes it is fun, sometimes it isn’t.

12.  What makes you angry?

Turns out the thing that makes me angry according to my wife is Time warner Cable not getting their shit together and keeping me from playing World of Warcraft with my friends.  Internet provider jackasses.

13.  How do you manage your anger when you get upset?

I do not tend to get angry too much… so I would say being terse with Time Warner Cable customer service is what I tend to do. 

14.  Has anybody's answer to your questions ever made you angry?

Nope.

15.  What would you consider your "craziest" interview?

One that was never published.  It only made it to question 8.  The guy I was asking questions was a random denizen of the Internet who asked to answer 20 Questions… the answer to Question 1: Tell me you geographic story involved multiple psychiatric wards and the phrase, “that was the third time I attempted suicide that year.”  The questions went downhill from there.  He eventually stopped answering my emails and I really did not hound him for responses.

16.  There are a lot of insane characters in fiction. What's your favorite and why?

Ethan Frome, because you have to be bat-shit nuts to think that sliding into a big oak tree on a toboggan sled is a surefire way to commit suicide during the winter in New England with your wife’s cousin, Mattie (whom he fancies more than his wife).  Frozen lake you idiot.  Frozen lake

...er...um... spoiler alert?

17.  How do you spell the first name of the short droid in Star Wars. The one C3PO says "This is madness" to?

It is a simple capital “R.”  Although I have thought that C-3PO might have been talking to the other silver 3PO unit tottering along the corridor.

18.  Do you consider the band Madness to be ska?

They are not quite ska…. but they are definitely ska-ish.  They are ska-adjacent.

19.  Do you think we should stop using the word mad to mean angry when it originally meant insanity?

No, language is literally a living thing, just as the meaning of “literally” is currently shifting to mean both the dictionary meaning of ‘literally” from time immemorial and “hyperbolically figuratively” meaning that is starting to take place now.

20.  What is the most benign form of mass crowd madness?

iPhone 6 Plus lines and retail crush… or the Cabbage Patch Craze of the 80’s.

21.  If everyone jumped off a cliff, would you say it was madness?  Then jump?

Nope, and nope.

22.  Are mad cows with mad cows disease mad mad or crazy mad?

They are mad mad.  The kind of mad that happens because the are angry and insane… some might say, “insanely angry.”

23.  Riots are horrible.  Why do people say that fun things like parties and concerts are riots?

Because riots are known for the their unbridled energy and unchecked potential, people also like to categorize parties and concerts with that same unbridled energy and unchecked potential as riotous.

24.  Why are my hands so cold?

I would say that your hands are cold because you live in Utah, and Utah is the land of the cold hands.

25.  Is Mad Men about the loss of innocence?  Or the loss of cool ties and lapels?

Mad Men is a story primarily about women’s rights.  To make that story more palatable for the viewing public, it is viewed through the lens of the men who are, in many ways, fighting against the inevitable change.  

26.  How many actors can you name from "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World"?

Um… I think I could get Jonathan Winters and Buddy Hackett and call it a day.  So 2

27.  What're you, a cop?

Nope.  I am not a cop

28.  Ever seen a grown man naked?

Yep, I consider myself a grown man and I, have indeed, seen myself naked… The vision keeps me up at night…. paler than white… pale blue

29.  How much would it cost to get you to literally bite the head off a living chicken?

Well, I think it would not be some much a matter of money as much as necessity. If things are dire enough, I would do it merely to feed the chicken to my family… however, in today’s economy and social media landscape without an exorbitant amount of cash I would not do it.  Period.  Wouldn’t do it.  You couldn’t make me if it did not have to be done.  No amount of money.

...one Andrew Jackson and you have a headless chicken good sir.  You show me the 20 and I will start sharpening my chompers.

30.  No, seriously:  are you a cop?  Because you know you have to tell me if you're a cop.

Still not a cop.

31.  Will you please sing me the song "Mad World?"

Thank you for saying please unlike that j-hole from Question 9... still the answer is "Nope."

32.  Ever kick a guy in the chest (giant pit optional)?

Not in the standing chest kick way, but I am sure I have put a soccer boot in a kid’s chest during the playing days.

33.  Speaking of giant pits, having one to kick people into says a lot about a people.  Isn't this a bit out of spirits with the whole "trial by combat" vibe the Spartan society otherwise offers?

Not too sure you know this, but 300 was not factually correct.  There are many issues covered in the movie that just are not historically accurate. 

34.  On to what everyone is thinking about these days, Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome!  The nexus of all things "MADNESS!" (where fantasy and reality blur.)

a. Which is more madness "MADNESS!!"  1. The absurdity of the scene where the dwarf stops production of an entire town (presumably daily) as part of a prank call to Tina Turner where he asks "Who run Bartertown?" or 2. That this film was actually made and everyone has seen it?

I ain't Captain Walker. I'm the guy who carries Mr. Dead in his pocket.

b. I am hereby skipping the question about when a dude's main claim to fame is fighting a mentally disabled person in a bungy cord harness in this movie cracks into a borderline unintelligible (though clearly anti-semitic) rant.

You forgot the amazing phrase “sugar tits.”

35.  How come March Madness isn't madder?

How come? How come? “How Come?!?!” How about “Why?” I hate it when people say “How come...” It isn’t madder because they keep Dick Vitale in check with a shock collar and barbiturates.

36.  On a disturbingly frequent basis, I imagine Rossito calling up Tina Turner randomly for years, long after the making of Thunderdome, and asking "Who run Bartertown?" barely stifling giggles and her shrieking "How did you get this number?!?!? I know it is you!"  Is that madness?

This is one the best scenarios I have pictured in a long time.

37. What compelled you to even get started on this habit?

I was doing a blog where I posted every Monday through Thursday and was running out of ideas, so I started hitting people up that I knew to ask me some questions... it slowly morphed into 20 Questions Tuesday.

38.  Can you ever imagine stopping?

Oh, I have stopped many times... many many times.

39.  Why do we even respond to these requests for questions?

That's on you... I have no idea

40.  You’ve done 300…have you learned ANYTHING about yourself?

Hell's no.  I do this to avoid learning about myself.  I also take umbrage at your use of all caps on "ANYTHING." 

41.  U mad bro?

Nah, s'all good

42.  u mad BRO?

Brah, s'good.

43.  U, Mad Bro?

Nah, He's Mad Bro, I'm Cool Bro

44.  U? Mad bro?

Me? Mad bro? Dunno, U? Mad bro? U mad, me? I'm mad.

45.  Madison Ave or Madison, WI?

Cheese please... 

To recap:

This is madness

Only had time for a sketch today

Nothing special

Did I mention that the map commission went well

The commissioner actually gave me a bonus… cause my skillz are boss

My research project for school has been given the go ahead

That means right now I am 3 weeks behind

Yesterday?

I was on schedule

Funny how that works

I seriously cannot believe it has been 300 of these

Bet 301 is super anticlimactic

I can almost guarantee it

Thanks to all of you who read this, a hearty thank you to all of you who actually give me questions to answer, and a special thanks to everyone who has answered my 20 Questions

Drop me a line, comment, send me an email (mmmmmpig @ gmail . com) iffens you want to do one of these here 20 Questions interviews

< >

Have a great week everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 299 - Colors

The issue with color is that it is purely an expression of each individual’s incorrect perceptions.  People with color deficiency (color blindness) don’t realize that they cannot perceive colors like other people until they are told so via a color spectrum acuity test.  That is what color is fascinating.

Thanks this week go to St Pierre, pfmdesigner, Brett Wood, and Some Other Guy.  Onto the questions.

1.  What’s your favorite ice-cream flavor and does that equal your favorite color of ice cream? If not, what color do you wish your favorite flavor was?
If I am unfamiliar with what a particular ice cream parlor distributes, I always go to their version of vanilla as a kind of benchmark test.  Vanilla ice cream is a great blank tableau to assemble frozen treats on… that being said, my favorite flavor right now is Salty Caramel by Jeni’s Splendid Ice Cream… so good…. 
It’s color is a weird earthy tone… it is a light yellowish brown, and it is delectable, but there is something about the allure of snow white ice cream with vanilla bean flecks in it just calling you to consume it… 
Everyone who can get the Jeni’s Salty Caramel, should get it and make a root beer float with it.  You. Are. Welcome.

2.  Being a man married to a woman of color, do you have a hard time relating to white supremacist view points?
Much harder time now than when I lived in Alabama… oh the terrible, horrible racist jokes I told in school… to my very few childhood friends who still live in ‘Bama… I am so grateful to have escaped there.  Even if you do not move, make sure you at least vacation out of the state.  It does change perspective.

3.  Have you ever tasted the rainbow?
I don’t like the purple ones….

4.  I was always fascinated by the band name “Color Me Badd.” The name itself is practically an imperative sentence, demanding of us, the listeners to color him/her/them “badd,” but I was always of the opinion that they did a fine job of coloring themselves bad all on their own without my help.
The extra “d” is for “extra doofy.”

5.  I know I won't be the only one to ask, but can you paint with all the colors of the wind?
Unsurprisingly, you are the only one to ask this.  No one can paint with wind… well maybe Startibartfast… 

6. If you had synesthesia, what would a rainbow sound like?
A harp, which would oddly taste like pop-rocks

7. In your box of 64, which was the last crayon to have its tip rounded over?
Copper

8. Blue M&Ms, genius, or insanity?
Those are not mutually exclusive categories… even with that being the case the answer is “neither.”

9. Is there a food you won't eat based solely on the color?
I choose to answer this in the way of the food looking a different color than it is supposed to… and potentially being either “weepy” or “fuzzy” pending on the food.  In those instances, a resounding Yes.

10.  Whats your favorite color and why?
Green, it is soothing to me like aloe leaves

11.  Whats up with coloring books anyways?
Don’t rightly know at my advanced age of 40, but I can tell you that 6 yr old loves them.

12.  Is it good to be colorful?
Yes

13.  Are there more colors in the spectrum that the human eye can't pick up and how would you know that?
You can measure the wavelengths, and since wavelengths are a continuous, there is an infinite amount of lengths between any 2 points on the visible spectrum… the human eye cannot distinguish infinitesimal gradations so there are an infinite amount of colors that we cannot perceive.  I know this because I get lost when I contemplate infinity… when you stare into the endless void…. it stares back… it stares back...

14.  What color is the moon anyways?
Surprisingly it is a medium warm gray.  Kind of like a dull muted granite.

15.  Why is there a “color” commentator in the typical 2 or 3 person sports announcer teams?

There are typically 2 types of people in the booth.  The primary person is the “play-by-play” commentator with one of the other people in the booth being the “color guy.” This person is usually an ex-player of the sport in question an is there to provide experiential insights into what is happening on the pitch/field/court/ring/etc… The color person is there to add flavor.  They are usually hilariously awful.

16.  How do you color your marker jobbies?
Start out with lightest colors as flats, then medium tones, then shadows.  Then I add white highlights and re-ink to create strong dark blacks on the cards.  That’s it.  One of these days I will post a process gif... that is not today though

17.  Do you have any issues perceiving any colors?
Not technically speaking, or more to the point, not that I know of. I can continue to pass those trace the number color acuity tests, but of all the colors I deal with reds to oranges to browns can get muddy for me.

18.  Do you know anyone who is colorblind?
Yep, but we were not close… oddly enough he was red/green color deficient and was a cartographer…  a terrible terrible map maker.

19.  Is there a color trend going on right now in graphic design?
Of course there is… it is all of the off-jewel-tone colors going on right now.  You can see the palette when you look at iOS 8.  Apple is nothing if not in the moment.

20.

I am a nightmare walking, psychopath talking
King of my jungle just a gangster stalking
Living life like a firecracker quick is my fuse
Then dead as a deathpack the colors I choose
Red or Blue, Cuz or Blood, it just don't matter
Sucker die for your life when my shotgun scatters
We gangs of L.A. will never die - just multiply

this… isn’t really a question… I’m not really sure what to do with it

You see they hit us then we hit them
Then we hit them and they hit us, man
It's like a war, ya know what I'm sayin'
People dont even understand
They don't even know what they dealing with
You wanna get rid of the gangs it's gonna take a lotta work
But people don't understand the size of this
This is no joke man, this is real

Ummm… okay…

You don't know me, fool
You disown me, cool
I don't need your assistance, social persistance
Any problem I got I just put my fist in
My life is violent but violent is life
Peace is a dream, reality is a knife
My colors, my honour, my colors, my all
With my colors upon me one soldier stands tall
Tell me what have you left me, what have I got
Last night in cold blood my young brother got shot
My home got jacked
My mother's on crack
My sister can't work cause her arms show trax
Madness insanity live in profanity
Then some punk claimin' they understandin' me
Give me a break, what world do you live in
Death is my sect, guess my religion

...right … Imma ignore the rest of this

To recap:
I need to color a pic of Hawkeye tonight
Not sure that will happen
I also need to sleep since I didn’t sleep well last night
I also have a Punisher to ink and color
And I still haven’t inked those Doctors I did a few weeks back
I am getting behind on stuffs
I have a friend who has published a book
Get it
No, seriously, go buy it... now
The youngest is doing some kind of moon chart for school right now
I am sure it is all pagan and stuff
Just hope it does not involve some kind of sacrifice on Sam Hain or something like that
Kids usually sacrifice parents, right?
Scary stuff
I do get to say stuff like it is a waxing gibbous though
Which is well and truly awesome
Have a great weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 298 - Homecoming

Today marks 12 days sans dual parenting.  The Mom-in-law has been amazing and some family friends also stepped up to make the process easier as well.  In the 12 days that she has been the gones, I was also able to get a mapping commission done… Oh, I do some freelance mapping by the way under the moniker of 9th Point Studio… the website will be changing soon… It is time.  There are just some ways that I need to update a whole bunch of things on there, especially my info… anyway, the client is happy and that makes me happy.

This week’s topic is “homecoming” because of the time of year in the US high school/college sports system, but also because the Lovely Wife is coming home tonight.  

Thanks this week go to Mike, pfm Designer, and some other guy… on to the questions:

1.  Were you left with a list of things to "possibly get to if you had the time"? And if so, what did you just not find the time to get to?
I was tasked with keeping both of the kids alive and relatively unscathed.  They are both alive, thank you very much.

2.  What will TLW be looking forward to most when she gets home? Food ? Relaxation? Something else?
I think being around the kiddos.  She really loves the we beasties.

3.  If you had to come up with a Big Surprise to welcome her home, what would it be? (A friend of mine traded their SUV for a BMW while his wife was away. Surprise? Yes. Happy surprise? Not so much.)
It would be a clean house… just to be clear, that did not happen.

4.  After how many days did your kids stop asking "when is mom coming home..."?
They have never stopped… however, Little Man pronounces that question like “Do you think the Plants Vs Zombies: Garden Warfare DLC will come out on the 30th?”

5.  Will you be awarded "Dad time" once she is home, or will it just be business as usual? (Some couples keep score, you know...)
No score being kept…  I will not really be awarded “Dad time”so to speak, but this weekend, I will get the opportunity to focus on the school research project very heavily.

6.  How many hours before the wife’s ETA do you actually start cleaning house?
I have attempted to keep the house somewhat clean this whole time… Saturday was a cleaning day in earnest though...

7.  What’s the going rate for bribing two children into giving favorable reports about you?
My children are more than welcome to tell the wife anything and everything that goes on while she is gone… they will not do that because that know what is good for them…. 

8.  To celebrate her return: fancy home-cooked meal or fancy restaurant?
Her choice… which means I will most likely be cooking something.

9.  Who misses who(m?) the most?
The youngest misses her mama the most.

10.  Did you order her corsage well in advance, or will you just hit the Speedway on the way home?
Corsages are for closers.

11.  What have you learned in these past 12 days?
That I have to turn screens all the way off to get some attention from the kids at the same time.  I can get individual attention from each of the little ones for limited amount of time… usually to talk badly about the other… building alliances and dividing and conquering.

12.  What is different in the house from when she left?
hmmm… it is a bit chillier in the mornings.  

13.  Did you “celebrate” homecoming when you were in high school?
Nope.. I was not super popular in the high school.  I don’t think I was disliked as much as I was simply unknown (at least I hope I was not disliked).  I didn’t really date much and was pretty backwards socially on emotional levels.  The one time I was actually “dating’ someone whilst in high school, I did not understand that she would actually want to go to homecoming.  I thought she didn’t care about things such as that… mainly because I didn’t care about it and I was significantly more self-involved in 10th grade.  Turns out she was a red-blooded American female who had reasonable expectations for how a couple should interact. In my defense I could not drive and that limited the options for significant dating at the time, but really I just was not a good datable person at the time…. Soon after that homecoming faux pas I was done dating until the college years.  

14.  What exactly is this “homecoming’ tradition in the US? Asking for a non-American friend…
Homecoming was all about the traveling American football teams for colleges and high schools finally coming home after 3 or so away games.  It is a celebration of the returning victors (hopefully).  In the modern era, since teams don’t typically do blocks of traveling, it is a time for alumni to come back and “enjoy” the game…. I really don’t miss high school… I think I outline that out pretty well in a previous question.  Often the homecoming game is played against the weakest opponent a team could find.  When I went to Kent State, we were the team that people scheduled for their homecomings.  

15.  Homecoming courts are purely popularity contests, right?
Yup, there is no merit based reasons for the candidates...

16.  So , how was the homecoming?
It was very low key… I think all involved were exhausted.  The wife’s flight was supposed to get in at 8:50pm… but it turns out that it got here at 8:43… and I was trying to get the kids to the airport on time… that is like herding cats… annoyingly talkative cats… and then the kiddos just started to alternatively ramp themselves up and crash… the kid thing was… it was… what’s the opposite of awesome… that’s what it was

17.   Who needs 17?
Nobody, that’s who.  17 blows

18.  So after 12 days on the road and working pretty much straight through, what is the wife’s schedule like tomorrow?
Some would think the wife would not schedule work the day after a 12 day marathon work session that crossed the continent and spanned 2 countries… wrong, she will be up and out of the house by 6 AM Wednesday…  She is terrible at the scheduling of the work stuffs.

19.  When is her next bout of traveling?
I don’t know, maybe November or something.  But there is nothing scheduled with 12 days of travel... she usually only travels for 4 days at a time.

20.  Do you think anyone is really reading to this point?
Nope, I imagine most people skip this to the recap by now…

To recap:
The family is back together
It is nice
All three of my loved ones are all sleeping together in a big ball of love
I am getting some homework done and finishing up this post
I have an invoice to get out now
Commission went well
Better than I had hoped
I will post some stuff from it eventually
Oh, I am also trying out ello.co
Check me out, I am @mmmmmpig on the ello’s
And I am @mmmmmmpig on the twitters as well
My iPhone screen is still shattered
I am trying to hold out for a bit more
The packing tape I am using to hold it together is starting to come up though
That is the only thing keeping my screen from slicing my fingers and bruising the actually screen
Man, I need a new phone
At least the 6’s are out now and many of the bugs have been worked out
The bugs have been worked out, right?
heh... 
Have a great week everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 297 - After School

The wife is out of town until tuesday of next week.  Expect next week’s 20 Q’s to be me rocking back and forth mumbling to myself about how the just won’t shut up, how am I supposed to know when he is talking about Plants v Zombies, Plants V Zombies 2, or Plants V Zombies: Garden Warfare, they all use the same frikkin plants and or zombies!  No I do not find minecraft song parody videos interesting! Please use words, I don’t understand grunting and pointing at the table, just put on your socks because you need to wear active shoes today, it is the same kind of bbq sauce as we always use, I just heated it up, no, I do not know what the name of the morphed together versions of the Monsters High girls are, I’m sorry, I meant to say ghouls but I am trying to make dinner, yes, you have to eat something for breakfast, just put on the socks, and I swear I will throw the iPad out the window if you 2 don’t stop arguing about it…. uh, where was I?  Oh, yes, this is day 4 sans partner parent… I still have matching socks and clean underwear for both very alive kids…. I don’t promise anything for 7 days from now.

This week, because Little Man hates the care after program at our school we are allowing him to walk home on his own.  It is a big step for us.  Our little dude walking less than a mile to get home on his own… Crap, I have become THAT parent.  anyhooo… today’s topic is therefore “After School.”

Thanks this week go to K, Pfm Designer, AllRileyedUp, Lsig, and Some Other Guy.  Onto the questions.

1. This is in our foreseeable future. And we don't have a landline. Do we need to re-tether? 
We got him his own cell… It is a crappy LG feature phone, but it is getting to be that time.  I am much less reluctant to run to the store without him and let him be on his own for a bit.  It was a rough decision though.  I don’t think he knows how much thought went into it.

2.  What is the determinable factor for stay-at-home-alone privileges -- age or maturity?
Maturity combined with how much he wanted it.  By “how much he wanted it” I mean “how much he was willing to do to get it.”  He hates his after school program with the fire of a thousand burning stars, and really listened to us when we outlined what he needed to do to make this a reality.  He actually asked me in a very serious tone, “What do I need to do?” Cue 80’s training montage...

3.  Have you re-watched Home Alone recently? That movie is terrifying.

I have not seen that movie in a long while.  I disliked it as a kid and I cannot imagine the horror of it as an adult.

4.  "ABC After School Special." Gut reaction?
/shudder

5.  Did you ever see the one where the girl sues the guy who stood her up for her prom? Instant Classic.
Nope, I did not see those too much mainly because I was watching the local UHF channel’s syndicated afternoon cartoon line up… Afternoons on WTTO 21… 

6.  Why is his after school program so bad?
They have recently had a management turnover.  The previous director moved to Virginia and the new director is a bit draconian.  There are not many older kids in the program, so Little Man feels a bit lonely.  There also may be a worker there who kind of has it out for Little Man.  He is not a trouble-maker and he has gotten into trouble there with only one of the adults.  It just is not a good environment for him.

7.  Do you worry about him latch-keying it?
Of course I do.  He is in the honeymoon phase of this process right now though.  He loves it.  But he has not had to walk home in any inclement weather yet.  I am sure there will be a bit of a different tune when he has to come home in the rain/snow/bitter cold etc…. 

8.  Do you feel that using the term "latch key kid" dates us?
Sadly, yes.  

9.  ABC used to run After School Specials (they still may, I don't know/care). Which, if any, had the most impact on your life?
The one about the bed-wetter dude… for reasons

10.  Back when you were a pup, did you do homework at school, or save it to ruin your evenings at home?
I tried to get as much of it done at school as I could, but as the work piled up, I had to do more and more at home.

11. If you rode the bus home after school, what is your favorite story to tell of that adventure? if you didn't ride the bus, what story have you heard that makes you most grateful of that fact?
I did ride the bus in Jr High and High School, but I have no stories to speak of.  The worse thing that happened was the petty high school shit that happens with every group of kids who do not choose to be stuck together.  There was a hierarchy to the bus, which upon reflection, is the saddest thing I think I have ever typed.

12. Are you in the structured or unstructured free-time camp? Defend your position in six words or less.
Ain’t free-time if it is structured.  Thank you contractions and compound words!

13. Which gives better warm-and-fuzzies, "after school" or "after work"?
After work… I am not in a structured school environment right now… and Little Man’s “after school” just makes me nervous now.

14.  At what age, if any, did you start "latch-keying it"?
Well I walked to and from school when I was in 3rd through 6th grade off and on which was just over a mile away.Little Man has just less than a half mile to traverse.. I am confident he can do that.

15.  Did you get after school snacks? Do your kids (and what do they like?)?
I would either heat up frozen Krispy Kreme doughnuts from some fundraiser for a snack or I would slap some frosting between 2 frosted strawberry poptarts…. I would then vibrate atonally from the sugar rush until my parent’s got home.  The boy likes Poptarts and the girl likes Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch snack bars.

16. Was there anything actually "special" about the After School Special?
I think they were only concerned specials because they were not serialized.  No special informed the next one and none of the cast persisted from one episode to another.

17.  Is after-school syndicated comedy still a thing? I remember watching The Brady Bunch and, I think, Three's Company after school (and Scooby Doo). 
After school syndication has been replaced with after school Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hulu, and YouTube.

18. How are you feeling about this new after school arrangement? 
Ask me again in 3 weeks… it is all very new to me right now.

19.  Did you think this would be what you are doing now that you are officially “after school?”
I am still in school, so I will let you know about after school in about 8 months.

20.  So, what did you do after school today?
By “after school” you mean, after I picked up the girl and got home… Well… we got home, the kids ate them some food prepped by the Mom-in-Law and then I got the boy to swimming.

To recap:
7 days left until the wife gets home
I shattered the screen on my iPhone 5
I have 2 more months before I can get an upgrade without penalty
So 2 months of pain looking through a crazily scratched screen
So, so annoying
I have lunches to get ready for tomorrow
And the youngest is crazy picky
My research project is picking up steam
We are waiting for the research to be approved before we can unleash it on you
Unleash it like we are releasing the Kraken
Well… a weak tiny Kraken that is merely inquisitive
A cute little tiny inquisitive Kraken with cute puppy dawg eyes
Asking siwwy wittle quwestions about phones and stuff
Oh, goodness… someone needs some sleep
Have a great week everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 296 - Drawing

So I have been out of commission lately.  Sue me… don’t sue me, number 1, you wouldn’t win, and number 2 (hee hee, number 2), you cannot get blood from a turnip, and we ain’t got jack nor shit unless you consider Legos as a form of currency.  Anyway… during the weeks that I did not post I went to Cincy ComiCon down in Northern Kentucky, which is, oddly enough, like Cincinnati, Ohio.  The only thing separating the two places is the Ohio River which oddly enough as well is owned by Kentucky.  Go figure.  Geography, am I right?

Anyway… because I was drawing a boatload leading up to the con and then drew a boat load at the con and then drew some more… Today’s topic is drawing.  Thanks this week go to Chris Ring, Dr B-Dawg, the Wife, and some other guy.  Here we go.

1. You can draw a picture, draw conclusions and draw a gun . . . Why? what are the origins of the word draw?
“Draw” comes from the Olde English of “dragen” which translates to “to drag” and refers to dragging lines in the dirt to form a picture.  “Draw conclusions” is associated with slowing things down and “drawing them out” and “drawing a gun” comes from dragging a sword out of it’s sheath and “drawing a weapon.”

2. Who's your all time favorite drawler?
Drawler? Matthew McConaughey... Alll righ, all righ, all righ

3. Favorite drawing? Of yours? Of anyone?
That is hard to say… I don’t have a favorite drawing of forevers… but I always have loved this piece of mine, but the best reaction I have EVER gotten for something I have draw was this one:

4. What was your first "i am really good at this" drawing?
I was 6 or so and had drawn a fighter jet and added a pilot in the cockpit.

5. Do you prefer drawing or inking more?
Drawing, I am a horrible inker

6. What is hardest anatomical part to draw?
Hands and feet… they are crazy shaped and everyone can tell when they are done incorrectly.  That's why you see even really crazy good artists have feet in fog and hands going off the page.

7. Who is the most difficult hero to draw?
That is a tricky one.  Most superheroes are just details on their costumes.  The more intricate the design, the more difficult the hero is to draw.  

8. If you had draw one character a 1000x, who would it be?
the Schmoo

9. What is the best advice for someone who has lost their drawing mojo?
Doodle for fun…. juist draw for drawings’ sake and see where that takes you.  

10. What is your process?
I have been doing these 3 x 5 inch index card drawing lately (past 2 years).  I steal some time away in meetings and conference calls at work, or while I watch progress bars slowly crawl across my screen at work, and put in pretty detailed pencils with a 0.3 mm mechanical pencil.  Then I ink the pencils with a really dead weight 0.1 mm Copic Multi-liner.  When I get home I use Copic sketch markers to throw colors on the pieces.  I throw some white highlights on the cards with a white Uni-Ball Signo 0.5 mm white gel pen

11. When do you deviate from this process?
Every once and a while I will do some tonal pencils and keep the work at the pencil stage, but I will finish the hell out of the pencils.  Other times, i will break away from the 3 x 5 notecards and do something on a nicer bristol board or sketch book.

12. What traps do you find yourself falling into concerning drawing?  poses, colors, backgrounds, etc...
I do find myself falling into some very similar poses from piece to piece to piece, and I seldom actually draw backgrounds.  The small form factor of the 3 x 5 notecards has made it even more difficult for me to work big.  

13. What comic book would you love to draw on?
You mean “do the actual art” and not just add moustaches and glasses on the art already published in a book, right?  I think I would like to get a c-list hero and tell a limited story with that character.  

14. What was the last thing you drew?
This is the last finished thing I did.  I have some in process right now that I need to finish up.

15. What are you working on right now skill-wise?
Interaction.  I am trying to ground 2 or more characters in the same scene actually interacting with each other where it looks like they are in the same scene and not just 2 different characters bolted onto the same pic.

16. What are you working on right now actual artistic piece-wise right now?
I have a Fire and Ice that I am working on right now for the Ten Ton Studios Sketch Challenge, an Etrigan that I am doing right now for a different set of pics havong to do with the letter E.  Both of these are inked and ready for colors.  I have pencils done for the 9th and 10th Doctors because the one thing I heaerd repeatedly at the con was “Do you have any Dr Who stuff?”  Nope I didn’t.  Now I will for next year.

17. Where do you go for inspiration?
Ten Ton Studios… some bad mutha fuckas draw over there, but you already knew that.

18. Do you consider yourself good?
I do consider myself “good.” I am not excellent, and not great, I am not even what I would consider “Really Good,”  but I really enjoy drawing and I do this to enjoy it.  I know that I will never draw for a comic book.  I do not have the chops for it.  I think I could have the chops for it if I could devote 40 hours a week to the craft for about 4 months, but that is a no go since I need to have healthcare and insurance and that stuff.  I gots bills to pay, yo.

19. What is the most requested thing you have to draw?
I have a 6 year old daughter, pegasus unicorns everyday everynight

20. I don’t have a 20th question so bite me.

You can see almost everything I have drawn at my Deviant Art Site.  Take a look if you want to.

to recap:
I am good at the drawing, but I would not go above that
I have seen really good and better, and I am just not there
I am working on my research project this semester
It is going well enough
I have a few things that I was supposed to get done tonight
They will be done tomorrow
Sorry, Alisha
The wife goes out of town for 12 days starting on Friday of this week
Sweet mother of god and all that is holy, I will be rather tired of the younguns by Sunday
By Sunday, I mean Friday afternoon
They are in rough spaces this week
Probably because Mama is leaving this week for 12 days
Little Man is having a rough go because his Care After School program has become torturous to him
Send him positive energy 
He needs it
Have a great week everybody

20 Questions Tuesday: 295 - Sick Day

Well, it started with a sick day and then progressed into pure schedule overload.  Sorry about the unintended hiatus, but here it goes.  This week’s topic is “Sick Day.” I was sick a couple of weeks ago, and needed to take a day off. That day I slept and had some nasty gastro problems.  Since then I have been well… well, I have been well enough. 

Thanks this week goes to LSig, Ring, Chris Corrigan, and some other guy.

1.  Does any part of you enjoy having a sick day, just for the fact that you don't have to go to work?
Depends on the level of sickness.  If you are fevered and immobile… no enjoyment at all.  However, if it is a gastro issue, like a couple weeks ago? Binge watch House of Cards season 2.

2.  Did the advent of teleworking ruin the sick day forever?
Nope, really sick is still really sick whether you can conference call in or not.

3.  Do you/did you ever have a sick day routine or traditions? 
Nope, it is all about dealing with what presents itself that day.

4.  Do your kids try to play sick to get out of school yet? (Mine still like school and have never tried it. Yet.)
Not yet, we are not concerned about that with Little Man, however when Q figures this out, we are going to need to monitor this closely.

5.  Is the so-called "mental health day" a valid use of sick time? 
Yes, yes it is.

6.  Best "sick" day activity?
Ice Cream

7.  Call in sick, tell your peeps or make it a "me" day?
If you are sick, let the peeps know.  They can avoid you later when you come back in.

8.  When you call in do you deserve an academy award for a near death scene?
Nope, I shoot pretty straight with that stuff.

9.  Best excuse for calling in sick?
Being sick... not so much an excuse as a reason

10.  Worst excuse for calling in sick?
Being sick.

11.  Let’s turn this on its head…what is the sickest day you’ve ever had?  And by that I mean “holy crap that was incredible, I’m never going to have a cooler day than that!”
Visiting Stonehenge with the wife.

The lovely wife at Stonehenge

A young me at Stonehenge... good lord my wife looks exactly the same... me?  not so much

12.  Just how sick do you need to be to call off sick at work?
Fairly sick… My latest sick day was because I consumed some gluten… I became a walking biohazard.

13.  How many sick days do you have per year?
I think 10 days… but I am not sure.

14.  What is the ratio of you taking a sick day to burning a sick day for one of your kids?
1 to 5.  1 "me" sick day for every 5 that I have to take for the kids… that ratio is evening out as the kids become more robust.

15.  What is it with co-workers that come in sick even though they have the sick time to take but are waiting for their retirement pay-out instead of using sick time and they get all of their co-workers sick because they hate their spouse and won’t stay a day at home with them even when they are crazily ill and infectious? Seriously Greg, WTF?!?
uh… um… NEXT!

16. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off just doesn’t happen on a sick day when someone is sick, that happens with personal days. Discuss?
If one is truly sick one does not have a Ferris Bueller-like day of debauchery.

17. Are allergic reactions really like getting sick or completely different?
They are different… the resolution typically happens faster with allergic reactions.

18.  Is there a difference between a sick day and a sick night?
Sick nights usually end up being caused by the alcohols and the consumption thereof.

19.  How many synonyms for sick do you know?
About 7.

20.  How much crap did you run into when you got back into work the next day?
Not too much it was a Monday that I was sick, so most people had not recovered from their own weekending.

To Recap:
The sickness was weeks ago
I am really unmotivated at work right now
I have reasons
I will not go into those reasons
I am 3 classes away from a sparkly new degree
It will be shiny
It will occur in June 2015
I need to seriously start the job search now though
Because of the aforementioned unmotivated work reasons right now
This week I am starting up my research project for my degree… I may be leaning on some of you for your participation
You know who you are
Hey, Diamond Club TV now has a Roku channel
I just watched Cordkillers, and now blowing through the DTNS’s that I am behind on
Wooooo!
<> woooo!
Going to CincyComicCon next weekend The weekend of Sept 5 through Sept 7 

It will be the awesome
Expect much posting about the con

20 Questions Tuesday: 294 - 11

Last week my eldest child turned the ripe old age of 11. Tonight is his party where he and some of his friends are going to shoot each other with “lasers.”  It will be a great time for all.  I have no idea how this much time has passed since we met the little bugger in person so many years ago.  It seems like it was just yesterday.  However, it was not just yesterday, it was 11 years ago.  So this week’s topic is the number 11.

Thanks this week go to Maj McArmypants, Chris Ring, Dr JHP, Newbold, Chris Corrigan, and some other guy.  Onto the questions…

1. Was I the only one in grade school who had a really really hard time grasping that November is the 11th month instead of the 9th?  I mean WTF!
Yep, you are the only one… I learned the months of the year prior to their Latin word roots.  It wasn’t until later that I put those 2 things together to realize that conundrum.
 
2. What is the best thing that has ever happened to you on the 11th of a month?
For me?  Hmmm… I cannot think of anything that really stands out from being on the 11th.
 
3. Clearly all of Western Europe agrees that "11" should be the coolest sounding number.  So ONCE, ONZE or good ole "eleven".  Which sounds the coolest to your ears?
Onze en Fancais. J’adore la Francais.
 
4. Any special Birthday 11 celebration going on this week?
There will be some food consumed in some fashion.  Special birthday celebratory foods chosen by the birthday boy.
 

5. Why is Ocean's 12 so crappy?
Because there is no tension in it.  The tension was all played out from Ocean’s 11.

6.  Greatest athlete to wear number 11?
Gonna go with Messier.

7.  On a scale from 1 to 10, how good is 11?
8

8.  If a baker's dozen is 13, whose dozen is 11?
The fat baker’s dozen

9.  Is 11 really "1 louder" or is exponentially louder at that point?
I would say that it is geometrically louder, and not exponentially, logarithmically, or arithmetically.

10.  When you don't know the answer, go with eleventeen . . . you might get points for humor. Right???
I have never gotten points for humor on tests… and I have tried… many times.

11.  Why doesn't my amp go up to 11?
Because your amp displays an arbitrary base 10 system of measurement.

12.  Give us some of that fancy math stuff you know where the answer is 11.
3 in binary

13.  Eleven written out is awfully close to elven so does it have some mystical qualities?
It does have some mystical properties to it.  It is the first double numeral number and the first two digit prime.

14.  What is the birthday wish for the young man this 11th year?
To continue building a strong cadre of close friends.

15.  Oceans 11, thoughts?  
Better than Oceans 12.

16.  Do you have any significant memory of being 11?
That would have been in 1985… well, at least the second half of it.  Was that significant enough?

17.  Top ten sounds better than top 11.  However, top 11 moments of the past year?
Hmmm… Not in order.
Both the wife and I and my two closest childhood friends turned 40… so that is 1 through 4 right there.
so 5: Wife did the Ultra Marathon
6: baby girl turning 6
7: maintaining the 4.0 in this grad school
8: this world cup, a very entertaining cup indeed
9: won a sketch challenge
10: a great vacation in North Carolina
11: baby boy turning 11…shut up, he is still my baby, gottdamnit!

18.  What are some cool math properties of 11?  One I can think of is that 11x11 is 121.  If you take the outside numbers of that number 1 and 1 and add them together, you get 2, which is the middle number.  Same works with 11x12=132, 11x13=143 and so on.  You’re a big math geek…what are some other ones?
Well, I think I went into that a bit with question 13.  Weren’t you reading that?  It is like you just skipped to your question without reading any of the other questions.  For shame 

19.  Apollo 11 was important, right?
Super important.  Very. Super. Important.

20.  Hey, how many years is that there sunspot cycle run?
11, Baby!

To recap:
My oldest = 11
My sleep is all out of whack
I am super tired
But I think I know what I will be working on for my research in this degree
That is good
This weekend is Guardians of the Galaxy weekend
Really looking forward to that there movie
It looks fun
I am a bit hungry at the moment
Snacks should help
Have a great week everyone!

20 Questions Tuesday: 293 - Potpourri

This week the wife is off gallivanting about for her work.  She has two back to back 4 day things this week.  Therefore I am trying to make sure the kids are fed and go to bed at a reasonable hour and I can do my homework, oh, and my parents are coming this Friday…. so I have that going for me.  I really had no idea what today’s topic should be so I just sent out the clarion call to get random questions from the group of people I routinely ask to ask me questions… that got convoluted real fast.  So, this week, I asked for and got 20 questions on anything.  Thanks this week go pfmdesigner, Dr Hemi, Andrew Miller, and some other guy.  Onto the questions:

1.  What is your favorite YouTube video (either of all-time, or currently – your choice)?

Baby monkey riding backwards on a pig.

2.  In these free-for-all question submissions, what question do you most fear being asked?
Where were you on the night of (insert random date and time)?

3.  After the fall of civilization, what skill will you bring to the walled city-state to earn your place?
I am a pretty good cook, but I think I would bring my wife and ride her coattails to safety in the citystate.

4.  What book has had the greatest influence on your life?
Well, since I was rather active in a church during my formative years, I would have to say the Bible… I don’t necessarily ascribe to the messages contained within that book anymore, but it did exert the greatest influence on my life.  The other one I can think of is the first book I reread for the fun of it… “Lord of the Flies” by Golding.  So, the Bible and Lord of the Flies.  Spoiler alert:  Turns out Simon and his death are an analogy to Jesus.

5.  If you were to Quantum Leap into any famous person between now and the year you were born, who would it be and would you make any attempt to change the continuum?
Hmmm… Who is to say that I have not already lept into someone and altered the outcome to be what we are doing right now.... It would be in no way shape or form of me jumping into the body of the costume designer for the Wonder Woman TV show starring Lynda Carter. 

6.   Who would be the best free-for-all comic book fighter?
Wolverine

7.  World Cup wrap impressions, good series/bad?
Great series, with weak semi-finals and a energy depleted final… The group stage and round of 16/quarter finals were amazing.

8.  What is the meaning of life?
There is no meaning, it is just life.

9.  What ever happened to the Solid Gold dancers?

​Turns out that gold is not a very wise retirement plan. They became the Diversified Portfolio Dancers in the early 2000’s… 2008 was a rough year on them.

10.  What tree am I thinking of right now? Not as you read this but right now? Ah ha got ya!
Elm… boom goes the dynamite

11.  Having noticed your post about your wife being off traveling again this week, I'm wondering if you have any memories of times that you were left home with a parent or caretaker that was, well, less than equipped for the job for one reason or another.

For instance, when my dad was left in charge one time, I remember the toaster oven catching fire as he attempted to "warm-up" some hard shell taco shells. 

Another example being a babysitter my sister and I had a few times, she was third string, who refused to believe us that opening up one of the kitchen doors and using the stove would set the fire alarm off. Happened on two separate occasions and both times she made us sit in her car in the driveway until the fire department came to make sure the house wasn't burning down.
Nope

12.  If someone wrote a book about your life, what would the they title it?
He Didn’t Only Like Pork

13.  Write a haiku
I will not write one
Haikus are very passe
You can go to Hell.

14. The best part of waking up?
Folger’s in your cup?

15.  What is best in life?
To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.

16.  How many tattoos do you have?
1

17.  What’s under your bed?
Mainly dust and miss-matched socks

18.  Oh, question 18.  This is where I turn the tables and the student becomes the master.  Question 18: Is there anything you would like to ask me?
um… no?

19.  What are you taking from this 20 Questions that you did not bring in with you?
Just a tad bit more confusion.

20.  What’s next?  Be as concrete or vague as you want.
I am writing up a recruitment plan for a user research plan in the course I am in the middle of currently.

To recap:
The wife is out of town
The kids will not eat the food I am making them
Their reverse psychology is working because I am not unwilling to cook for them
It’s Lord of the Flies here without my wife
I’ve got the conch, bitches
I made tacos tonight
It is just about the only thing that the youngest will consistently eat
We have made tacos AT LEAST (meaning often more than once) a week for the past couple of months
Soooo tired of tacos
She will also destroy a steak
She gets that from my wife
I need to draw something
I need to get my homework done first
Have a great week everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 292 - Daniel Squizzato

Today I get the honour (trying to make this Canadian feel at home) of asking Daniel Squizzato 20 Questions.  I became aware of the good Mr Squizzato a few years ago when I was consistently listening to the podcast, It’s Called Football.  At the time the podcast was a Toronto FC centric podcast that also covered other aspects of MLS soccer and a little bit of other Canadian soccer topics.  "Squiz" as he was referred to on the podcast moved on to other things and away from the podcast soon after I stopped listening.  (My cessation had less to do with his departure than with the focus of the podcast migrating more to only Toronto FC within the MLS and then lower division Canadian soccer.)  This re-focusing happened about the same time that Vancouver and Montreal entered the MLS and Toronto FC stopped being the only top league soccer team in Canada.  That podcast just was not as relevant to me anymore.  At that point, the only contact I had with Squiz was via the twitters.  Since then we have had a few twitter conversations and chatted politely about the rivalry between Canadian and US Soccer.  Those conversations have lead me to ask him 20 Questions.  Beyond what he has posted on twitter and what he said on a podcast 3 years ago, all I know of Mr Squizzato is that he is a thoughtful and considerate person.  He does not troll with his questions about footy, and is willing to explain things I don't understand and listen to things he doesn't understand.  So, without further ado... here are the 20 Questions.

I have a professional background as a cartographer, and I have always been interested in people's geographic stories.  For example, I was born in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.  My family moved to Montgomery, Alabama when I was 3.   From there we moved to Birmingham, Alabama and then settled into a suburb called Center Point, Alabama.  I grew up there and then went off to college in Kent, Ohio.  I followed my then fiance, now wife to Columbus, Ohio for grad School and have lived in the Central Ohio area ever since.  Question 1:  What is your geographic story?

Well, I'm going to add some more Canadian flavour by apologizing right off the bat here for a rather uninteresting geographic story. I was born in North York, Ontario, which used to be a northern suburb of Toronto but has since been merged into the city proper. I've lived most of my life in and around the city (moving several times), save for a year in Halifax, Nova Scotia. Your readers may recognize the province as the setting for the cult TV hit Trailer Park Boys... or from an episode of Archer featuring "Nova Scotia separatists", voiced by the stars of TPB. Things will be picking up shortly, though; this summer, I'll be moving to Canada's west coast, where my wife is from. She has a much more interesting geographic story, having lived on several continents, and is slowly dragging me towards adventurism. So if you ask me this question again in 10 years, I may have a much better answer for you.

I love me some Nova Scotia.  My wife works with a handful of people in that province and has taught at a conference held there a couple of years in a row, I have become friends with a guy who lives there, and visited there a few times myself.  As far as west coast Canada, I am friends with some peeps who live just outside of Vancouver... one of these days I will visit them as well, because who doesn't want to visit the Vancouver area?

Question 2: Are you excited about your cross-continental move, or is this something you dread?

There's definitely a lot to be excited about and I'm looking forward to some of the things I'll get to do out there; at the same time, it's really tough to know I'm moving away from friends and from people and situations I've been around for my entire life. But one coping method both my wife and I are using is to constantly remind ourselves of the non-permanence of everything -- which sounds kind of spooky and existential, but for our purposes, it's just a way to remember that nothing is ever set in stone in this world (unless your job is literally to carve things into stone). You can always change your situation (or try to, anyway), and your situation can always be changed for you (either for good or for bad); so, best to just go with the flow and try to make the best of whatever time we get.

That sounds pretty interesting.  I have found that living far away from good friends and people you grew up with is not necessarily that difficult to navigate with how connected people can be digitally.  In many ways people are only separated by thought and digital transmission.  

Now to the question I have become famous for and blatantly stolen from Paul F Tompkins.  Question 3:  Cake or Pie? Which specific kind and why?

Well now, if you're thinking beyond pastry, this really hits at some fundamental questions of individualism vs. collectivism. Think about it. What do you associate cake with? Birthdays, parties, social gatherings... big events where everyone gets the same slice, everyone's there for the same purpose (whatever's written on the cake). Then you've got pie. Apple pie is a quintessentially American food (apparently), and what's more American than the at-times-bordering-on-obscene love of individual rights? Nothing, that's what. So yeah, there's that. But if you're talking about pastry, then pie, because of its versatility -- you can go sweet or savoury. A good key lime and a good meat pie can both hit the spot in different but equally satisfying ways.

A pragmatic response to be sure.  I have found that people that choose pie would really enjoy a piece of pie, but people who choose cake would kick a kitten in the rain to get a slice of cake... they say it is the cake, but they really want the frosting, and who doesn't want to eat frosting.  My mom had a side business of baking and decorating cakes when I was constantly surrounded by frosting... sweet sweet frosting.  

It does not sound like cake or pie really does it for you.  So Question 4:  Is there a foodstuff out in the world that you cannot help yourself around?  Some food out there that you just have to eat when it is present?

I'll preface by saying that I believe we're all masters of our own destinies, and none of us should feel beholden to legacies handed down to us by familial lineage or other entities beyond our control. That being said, I have no adequate explanation other than inescapable ancestral hard-wiring for my inability to resist a second, third, etc. helping of whatever pasta is nearby. Red sauce, white sauce, hot, cold, doesn't matter. "I'll just have one more bite," I tell myself, 67 bites before my actual last bite. While I've been able to get this somewhat under control in adulthood, suffice to say that words like "lithe" and "svelte" were never used to describe me in my formative years.

Doughnuts were my Kryptonite... until I figured out that gluten was an issue for me... now I am listless, lost, and forlorn in regards to food.  Gluten free food is terrible, just plain terrible.  I used to have sandwiches and I used to eat baked goods, but all of that is gone, but of all the things I cannot eat now that I used to be able to  --note: by "be able to" I recognize that I actually mean "put up with the consequences of consuming" and those consequences have gotten worse over time and lack of continued exposure.  Now I cannot partake of the forbidden foods without extreme prolonged gastrointestinal issues.  And now back to my comments-- pizza is what I miss the most.  I could absolutely destroy a pizza right now.  I miss pasta too, but a nice pizza with a good crust.... now I am just torturing myself.

Let's get a bit soccer centric.  We are in the thick of the World Cup.  I feel that this Cup has been one of the best I have seen. Question 5: Do you agree that this Cup is relatively more entertaining than many of the more recent ones?  Why or why not? (Editor’s note, this question was asked during the first couple of matches within the second round in the group stage...i.e. Spain was still relevant)

Well, much as we may want to deny it, we're all subject to recency bias. So yeah, sure, I definitely feel right now that Brazil 2014 is the most exciting World Cup I can remember seeing. But with the exception of a few standout games, can I honestly remember the ins-and-outs of the early group stage in past tournaments? Nah, not really, and I doubt many other people can either. The early part of this World Cup has been breathless and exhilarating, no questions asked. But can they keep this pace up? We'll see. Because ultimately, the big knockout games are the ones people remember most, and if that part of the tournament gets littered with a few stinkers (though we have no reason to believe it will), then all of the excitement of the last week and a half will be forgotten in the long run, unfortunately.

Recency bias is definitely an issue, but this first round seems more hard fought by the minnows and the upsets seem more dramatic.  When France collapsed in 2010, they didn't lose out as much as they didn't win.  Spain's implosion has had more drama to it.  I guess, I also feel a bit more knowledgeable about what is going on just because I have been paying some more attention during the lead up.  All of that investment has made this more interesting to me.

Question 6: This is a multi-parter.  a) Who do think will win it?  b) Who do you want to win it that has a realistic shot at it? c) Who is the dark horse,no chance in hell team, that you would absolutely love to see win it?

My pre-tournament pick was Germany, and I'm sticking with them. As far as who I want to win, I'm going to keep the moralizing to a minimum and just say the only national team about whom I have any ingrained, visceral feelings is Canada. But if we're speaking on an intellectual level, it'd be interesting to see the U.S. make a really deep run, simply because of the extent to which our footballing fates are intertwined. It'd also be nice to see an African team go far (I'm still bitter over Suarez v. Ghana), but as I'm typing this, Cote d'Ivoire just went down 2-0 to Colombia, so I don't think I'll be getting my wish this time out.

I am torn between picking Germany and Brazil for the win.  Both teams are really strong and on any given day in most surroundings I would put my money on Germany. The issue is that Brazil has a crazy home field advantage, and could ride that all the way.  My "realistic" chance is the Netherlands.  I would love to see the Dutch finally do well in a tourney and take the prize.  Of course my wild ass wish is the US, but I am not silly enough to think that would happen.  A deep run would be great, it (clearly) all depends on how the game with Portugal goes.  The big thing I would love to happen though is that a different team win it.  The "typical" winners are very predictable and easy answers.  I would have loved to see an African team take it, but this Cup they just aren't strong enough.  

Question 7:  You are a Toronto FC fan, and have been since the team started up in 2006, do you see yourself switching allegiances to The White Caps or will you still follow TFC from the west coast?

Ha, I get asked the question all the time when people find out I'm moving, and I'll give you the same answer I give them -- I have no intention of switching allegiances. (And unlike a certain Bosnian goalkeeper who used a similar line, I actually intend to honour that pledge... even I know I'm about to be bombarded by pro-Whitecaps propaganda from my two brothers-in-law.)

There are worse teams than the Caps to root for.  I imagine they will become your secondary team.  Heck I have a friend who lives on Bowen Island out near Vancouver so now the caps are my secondary team.  I do understand staying with a team loyalty.

Since I am from the US my perceptions of Canada is rather limited, but as I can tell Toronto v Vancouver is analogous to New York City v Los Angeles Question 8: How do people from Toronto perceive people from Vancouver and vice versa?

Well, if we did have to characterize a feud (such as it is) up here, I'd say it's more likely to be Toronto vs. the rest of Canada. The classic belief is that those outside the city resent it for its supposed "centre of the universe" complex, or its size, or its ostensible undue influence on national politics, or its desperate desire to be like NYC, or whatever. In reality, in my travels around the country, I haven't encountered any such animosity first-hand. And Torontonians, supposedly, don't think much about the rest of the country at all, since they're too obsessed with sniffing the backsides of our southern neighbours. I could spend hours talking about Toronto's weird inferiority complex but suffice to say, the feud (such as it is) is more of a popular generalization than anything most people actually participate in on any kind of regular basis.

Interesting, I was not trying to see if there were a feud, so to speak, I was thinking more about general characteristics.  In LA and NYC, people consider where I live as a "fly-over state," and there is a general ignoring of Canada by people in the "States," so in many ways Ohio and Canada are strangely similar... aside from the universal healthcare thing.

Question 9: Is there any place in the US that you would enjoy visiting that you haven't been yet? Heck, how about in the rest of the world? (Editor’s note: I was unaware of Mr Squizzato’s impending trip to various parts of Scandinavia at this point or this question would have been significantly more Scandinavian centric)

Wow, well, let's confine it to the first part of your question, lest I lapse into a rhythmic recitation of all the countries of the world, a la Yakko Warner in that old Animaniacs episode. One U.S. city that comes to mind is Portland, though that's probably just because I've finished watching several seasons of Portlandia (and have spent more time than necessary on the website of Voodoo Donut). Another is Austin, simply because it seems like a neat oasis in Texas that could give me that Lone Star State experience without totally offending my delicate Canadian sensibilities. Though really, I could probably give you a hundred different answers, since there are so many different ways to experience life across the country (which is why it always irks me when people refer to "Americans" as one big, monolithic bloc of people).

There is a doughnut shop in Austin (www.gourdoughs.com/) that is pretty impressive as well.  Just to throw a wrench into your prioritization of US city visits.  I would travel to Portland first for one of the Cascadia Cup games AND Voodoo doughnuts.  Even with my gluten intolerance I would be willing to put up with the gastric distress for some Voodoo...  

Here comes one of my favorites... Question 10: Fill in the blanks, I find that I am mostly _____. Others find that I am mostly ________.  Yes, I understand this is a fill in the blank and not necessarily a question.

Easy - I find I am mostly funny, others find I am mostly unfunny (this response included).

Meta… I think you sell yourself too short there.  You are clearly humourous (the extra "u" is because Canadians are my favourite people).  Don't let anyone try to take that away from you.

Question 11: Do you think that most people have that kind of disconnect with their personal perception versus how they perceive others um... perceiving them?

Definitely. It's like hearing yourself on tape -- you can't help but think "is that how I sound? no, that's not how I sound!" (I know it's because your voice reverberates inside your head and that's where it comes from, but whatever.) We all like to think we're (insert positive traits here), but in some cases it's self-delusion. Sometimes we do bad things and think "oh, well, yeah, I may have done that, but that's not me, I never do that!" Well, guess what -- to everyone who just saw you do it, you now are the sort of person who does that, no matter how many times the little echo chamber in your head tells you that you aren't.

Your point about hearing your voice in a recording is very spot on.  The resonances in the sinus cavities change the pitch and timber of one's voice inside the head versus hearing it externally.  That is why people who do not listen to themselves via some kind of recording have a very difficult time really generating accurate impressions.  And by people I mean, my Matthew McConaughey is dead on in my head, but off when I unleash it on others ... alrigh, alrigh, alright.

Let's get some soccer up in this again.  I played soccer as a child and even went overseas to Manchester for the Bobby Charlton School of Football when I was a kid.  I have been interested in soccer since I started playing when I was 5. Question 12: Where does your love of the sport emanate from?

Like you, I started playing at an early age; unlike you, I wasn't very good. But soccer was normalized in my household (my dad, as is the case with most immigrants, still followed his team "back home") from very early on. My brother played competitively and my dad coached him for a number of years, and I traveled along to games and tournaments. I started reffing at 15 and have done some coaching as well. I watched the World Cup and occasionally followed the professional game from my early childhood onward, but never truly immersed myself (from a viewing perspective) until I had a top-level club to call my own, which was Toronto FC. I'm just a homer, I suppose, which is why I don't have an allegiance to any international club or foreign national team.

Being a homer on that way is not a bad thing... Homer Simpson or the poet Homer.... Different story.

We are at spooky Question 13, so some back story, when I played soccer as a kid I had a very specific sequence of preparation for a game.  Inner sock, shin guard, outer sock... Etc... I started this as an idea of bringing "luck," but it turns out it was much more like getting my head to the right space through ritual.  Question 13: Do you have any straight up superstitions or rituals that you do in your life?

Well, I spent a lot of time as a goalkeeper and would do the normal tapping of the goalposts with my hand for good luck, though I did this largely to appear more professional and poised than I actually was (which is to say, not at all). As for everyday life, my wife is a zealous believer in knocking on wood when need be, and I of course humour her by following along. And like anyone else, I'll occasionally fall into the grips of the post hoc fallacy, and get superstitious about something I've done (until I forget about the incident entirely, which usually doesn't take long). But I'm not of the mindset that whatever force is controlling the universe particularly cares about any of our cultural superstitions -- the only thing I'm afraid of when walking under a ladder is that the ladder will fall on my head.

Being wary of walking under a ladder is just good sense. I have found that walking under ladders increases the probability of being hit in the head  from something falling off a ladder.  

Question 14: What should non-Torontans know about Toronto that we don't?

Well, first, that it's Torontonians, not Torontans. Though you'll rarely hear anyone refer to themselves in that way, since Toronto is a weird, transient city, where even those who are born and raised in the place are somewhat reluctant to identify themselves as such. I guess given all of the recent international hoopla, the main thing I would want non-Torontonians to know about the city is that the majority of people realize that Rob Ford is a pathetic, incompetent buffoon. Sure, his weird brand of idiotic populism has struck a nerve with some, and I understand why that's the case, but really, he is not a representative of our city. He's a stupid goof. Please do not judge us by the stupid goof we happened to elect while in a drunken stupor.

I could have sworn it was that or Torontians or Torontinos or the Torontaun-Tauns (I thought they smelled bad on the outside).  Honestly, I was pretty much guessing.  Ah well, you learn something new everyday. We in the Columbus, Ohio area aren't really referenced as Columbusians... I think officially we are Columbusites, like the Hittites of yore, but usually we are referred to as "People from the Columbus, Ohio Area."   I was going to ask you a question about Rob Ford, but thought better of it.... a little story, I grew up in Birmingham, Alabama. When my team got on the flight from Atlanta to Gatwick in London, I sat next to this wonderful Londoner in his 30's. He asked where our team was going and was surprised to hear it was for the Bobby Charlton School of Football.  He then asked where we were from, and I said, "Birmingham, Alabama."  His immediate response was, and I quote because it left an indelible mark on me, "Ah, George Wallace, race riots, fire hoses." Hopefully an area need not be defined by one moment in time, and to be clear, Rob Ford is one moment in time.... but what a buffoon.

Let's get back to some soccer.  Question  15: Who do you think is the best overall player in MLS right now and why?

I'm allowed one troll answer out of 20, right?

If so, then -- Landon Donovan.

Landon Donovan is a perfectly respectable answer.  I lean towards Michael Bradley, if he can bring it all together.  The issue is that he has not been the same player who was playing overseas, especially during this cup.  I know you deftly skipped the "Why" portion of the question

So.... Question 16: Why do you feel that Landon Donovan is the best player in the MLS?

Dammit, I told you it was a troll answer! It was supposed to just rile up American fans still bitter about that heartbreaking World Cup exit (though I have no idea when you'll publish this, so perhaps the anger will have subsided by then). But yeah, even though he's obviously past his prime, he's still a dangerous player in MLS and, of course -- based on the numbers, the history and his status as one of the few USMNT players actually recognizable to casual fans -- he gets bonus points based on what he's meant to the league.

The issue you ran into is that I was not super surprised by Donovan being omitted from the squad and I harbor no illusions that he could have helped versus Belgium or Portugal or Germany. He is still an incredible player, but, it turns out, much of his capabilities on the international stage was his speed... and that is starting to fade.  

Question 17: Is there a question you expected me to ask and did not ask, or is there a question I should have asked?

Well, we're jumping the gun a bit; you've got three more chances to surprise me -- or fulfill my expectations. I was thinking maybe something about the Canadian national program? But then, people probably read these features to be entertained, not depressed, so maybe it's better to steer clear of that.

So Question 17a: In your opinion, what is the key ingredient that the CSA is missing to get the Canadians Men's National Team to qualify for the 2018 World Cup Finals? 

What they're missing -- and what, unfortunately, no governing body really has -- is the ability to ensure our key players are getting regular playing time at their clubs and staying healthy. Our depth situation is such that if a few players fall out of favour at their clubs or get hurt, it can be devastating. A good example is a guy like Josh Simpson. He broke his leg just before the 2014 qualifying campaign started in earnest, and he hasn't played since then. It's an awful situation for him personally, of course, but it's also awful for Canada, as a player like him could have made a big difference in what was ultimately a disappointing WCQ campaign.

I have to say that I always want Canadian soccer to perform strongly. The only time I don't shout Allez les Rouge is when you are playing the US.  I hope that the Canadian team does well, and would love for US, Mexico, Canada, and Costa Rica consistently qualify.

Ah the question I often dread... Question 18: Do you have any questions for me?

I actually feel like you've given more direct answers about yourself during this process than I have, so I can't really think of much. But I do wonder - why is your Twitter handle "mmmmpig"? Do you just really enjoy pork chops?

Mmmmmpig comes from creating an online presence waaaay back in 2001/2002.  The young kid out there these days don't know about creating accounts that aren't associated with the Facebook.  Back then people made silly pithy names for their posting purposes... I had to make an account for the now defunct Drawing Board and I had just eaten an awesome pork bratwurst... Q.E.D

Question 19: What are you taking from these 20 Questions that you did not come in with?

An appreciation for how long it can take to answer 20 questions with 20 different shades of smartassery.

Some of these 20 questions can honestly go on for months.  The longest I have been dealing with is about 8 months... about to go into 9. It is very interesting to see how people's perspectives and philosophies change over that time.

Question 20:  So, what's next for you?  Be as short-term or as long-term as you want. Be as concrete or as vague as you feel comfortable. Be a grounded or philosophical as you need.

I've already overdosed on ham-fisted philosophizing and navel-gazing so I'll go immediate with this one -- given that I'm sitting in a basement apartment in Reykjavik as I type this and it's nearly dinnertime, I think what's next is a meal likely involving rye bread and at least three types of fish.

Well, good sir, enjoy your Scandinavian excursion!

I want to take some time to thank mister Squizzato for his time and for banging out those last few answers right before leaving on his Scandinavian Holiday Extravaganza 2014.  You can follow Dan on the Twitters here, and read some articles of his for Major League Soccer here.  

To recap:
The USA v Belgium was a tense game, but Belgium was clearly the better team for a solid 100 of the 120 minutes they played
Tim Howard is a beast
Today is Germany v Brazil
If Germany does not beat Brazil today, there is no way Brazil is losing to anyone in the finals at home regardless of who they play
I have not been sleeping well
Daniel Squizzato is a great guy and is hopefully enjoying Scandinavia and all it has to offer in its summer glory
We lost power last night for about 3 1/2 hours
The kids did not deal with it well
I think it will be porkchops for dinner
mmmmmpig on the tweets
Have a great week everyone