20 Questions Tuesday: 418 - Restart

So, it has been almost a solid 5 months since I posted. So what? I blame this hiatus on changes in my life. The restructuring of my world is still taking place after the transformation of my marriage into a not marriage thing. Coming up with a “new normal” has not been the easiest of operations. The family, and I still consider my ex (Hey ex-wifey) as family, has taken precedence in my time and efforts so the blog kind of fell by the wayside for a bit. I do have some interviews in process, but they are not near completion. So today I am trying to restart the asking people for questions and answering them obtusely process.

The topic this week is “Re-Start.” Thanks this week go to Chris Corrigan, Aleshia Arp, Chris Ring, and Some Other Guy for the questions. Onto the questions.

1. So, I know it’s been hard, but what pleasant surprise/s have you discovered in your restart?

That I can still make friends. I allowed myself to not try to make friends because the friends that my ex was bringing to the family are all pretty darn awesome. I did not have to put forth any effort to add cool people to my life because she had an abundance of cool people at her fingertips. I am slowly coming out of that dormancy of interaction and trying to build friendships of my own. Some with people that my ex introduced me to, but trying to come to a basis for relationship on our own without her as a social lubricant, and others from people that I have found on my own. It helps to be in a job that is not sucking the very life from my bone marrow. I’m looking at you last job….

2. What advice and wisdom do you have from this year of restarting for others?

Patience. I am still in process, but I have enough momentum now that I can start adding back on the skeleton that I went down to.

3. What have you started to do?

Get used to a clean house when the kids are at their mom’s. It is easy to clean when the kiddos are not adding to the mess, and kiddos, even when cleaning, are adding to the mess. I don’t think I ever realized just how abhorrently filthy those two really are. I have started to take on going through everything one room at a time. Next week is going to be the downstairs coat closet and the guest room closet.

4. What are you looking forward to?

Nothing yet. I have been trying to stay pretty much in the moment a bit more. I am not quite ready to start looking forward.

5. What advice would you give to someone debating whether/how/why to restart professionally after many years successfully in one career?

It is a rough prospect to say the least. It helps to have a good support network. It is easier to look for a new job, or to make a career change when you have a job. That is definitely true. Patience is a virtue in this process, and deliberate plans help a bunch. My deliberate plan was to get a degree in the field I was transitioning to and then using the following year to find a job. So a deliberate plan and giving yourself a goal to hit.

6. When/how to restart fitness after significant injury?

Funny you should mention it… I am dealing with a bit of an injury right now. I developed Metatarsalgia very recently and due to complications from that, my left foot has basically fallen apart. The doctor has said that the foot injury should be okay after about a month of wrapping and reducing usage. That was about 3 weeks ago. I will be starting to do some light treadmill work in July.

In general, I would say, as a person with shit joints and crap feet who is not a doctor, start slow a week after being “healed.”

7. What are some of the incentives you’ve afforded yourself in your restarts?

I really haven’t attempted to set incentives for myself. Maybe I should. “If I get this thing done, I will do this for myself.” I could get behind that.

8. Have you found that restarts are more common than you once thought?

I think they are significantly more common than they once were. Greatest Gen and Early Boomers people did not really switch up jobs that much. They did not reinvent or restart themselves. They started down a path and doggedly went down that path whether it made them happy or not. They would continue trudging down the road they started out of duty and obligation until they died as miserable husks of disappointment. This could apply to relationships or careers.

9. Does the time of year come into play on your restarting goals?

Sometimes it does. One does not typically worry about the beach bod until one knows that beach season is coming.

10. If you are playing a computer game and it is not going the way that you want it to, do you restart?

Sometimes. I want my Civ VI games to be winnable if I am playing them while on the treadmill. Once I lose a battle with a city state, I will often restart. That hasn’t happened as of late… see question 6

11. How many times have you had to restart this blog?

I think this is the 4th time or so for an actual significant hiatus. I cannot guarantee that it will stick, but I do like the self reflection of it. This time around, I did not really completely stop though. I did stop the weekly schedule for a bit but I still have 3 interviews going on at the moment. 2 UX people that I know and a person whose YouTube channel I watch.

12. What is the hardest part of a restart?

Directionality. Where is this restart trying to go? What is the intention of starting over compared to just keeping on keeping on? Determining the goal of the restart is the most difficult thing.

13. Favorite kind of restart in a soccer game?

A contested dropkick, not a drop kick where one team has conceded the ball to the other team. They don’t happen often, but when they do it is glorious. It is like pro players are on a playground for a second.

14. Can you restart a romantic relationship?

I think it can be done, but it is not easy. Often romantic relationships fail simply because they aren’t working, and sometimes things that don’t work cannot be made to work again. It is really hard to rekindle an emotional fire. I do think the best bet is to try and transform the relationship from romantic to something else before it becomes toxic.

15. How do you help people around you understand a restart?

That is an interesting question. I am not sure there is a great way. Restarts might be very public in execution but still very private in motivation or reasoning. I would suggest just letting the person restarting know that you see them and that restarting can be crazy hard.

16. Is there a difference between a “do over” and a “restart?” If so, what is it?

Of course there is. A restart is not a do-over. A do-over is when you can go back and fix mistakes you made earlier or go in a completely different path without dealing with the outcomes of the previous go. I restart does not negate anything that came before it.

17.How about a “false start” and “restart?”

I think there is the possibility of there being many a false start for a restart.

18. How long before a restart becomes its own thing?

It varies. I wish there was a time frame one could glom onto, but that just is not the case. For races, it is almost immediately known if it is a good start or a false start.

19. How quickly do you restart a game of solitaire?

When I have gone through the cards twice and no moves were available. I hit the deal button.

20. How many restarts do you credibly consider in your life?

I count a solid 4, not including the blog stuff.

To recap:

Restarts… they’re hard

My feet are made of a stiff pudding

I am getting a therapeutic massage for my feet and lower legs

I am hopeful for some relief

I am slowly getting the book stuff together for a renewed kickstarter

This one will include art

Art and snippets of the book

Maybe some character sketches

Little Man yells a bunch of cursewords when playing on the Xbox in the basement

I think for a while he did not think we could hear him

Currently, he is incredulous that someone in the game he is playing is trying to kill him

He tends to only play first person shooters

His incredulity holds very little water

Q is upstairs not sleeping and it is late

Her bedtime ritual is about to change

I have that massage appointment tomorrow

I do not expect it will be a comfortable massage

I am expecting it to be therapeutic though

I am happy to be back

That being said, there may be some format changes upcoming to the blog

Have a great week everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 417 - Liv Albert

Recently, I have been trying to broaden my podcasts. One of the podcasts I have started consuming is “Let’s Talk about Myths Baby.” It is a wonderful podcast that looks at classical mythology from a more feminist lens. Basically, to boil one of the throughlines of the podcasts down to its essential message… classical mythology is misogynist as hell. Quelle Suprise!

Anyway… here is what I now about the host, Liv… she is from Canada and loves mythology. This 20 Questions Tuesday is an effort to change that. So, let’s learn more about Liv, because what I know (she’s Canadian and like myths… stay with me folks, I just wrote that only two sentences ago. I’m not going to reset like a radio station every few lines or so the entire post) leads me to believe that she is awesome.

Onto the questions.

In a previous career path I made maps for a living. I came to cartography because I love the concept of story as place. So, my geographic story is one that I have mentioned almost every single interview. So I apologize to my loyal readers (I think there are about 7), but here is my geographic story. I was born outside of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. I was moved to Montgomery, Alabama at the tender age of 3, and then moved up I-65 to a suburb of Birmingham called Center Point. That is where I grew up until I went off to college in Kent, Ohio at Kent State. I followed my fiance down to Columbus, Ohio where I have been since. Question 1: What is your geographic story?

I’ll admit this is the one question I read of previous interviews you’ve done, along with a quick skim of others, and I wondered if I would receive the same! I started out in a suburb of Montreal, Quebec, called Pointe Claire where I was born and lived until I was six. At six, my parents packed up my younger sister and I and we drove across Canada to one of the farthest points west, Victoria, British Columbia. That’s on Vancouver Island, for you non-Canadians, which is, confusingly enough, not where Vancouver is. The only land we can see from Victoria is Washington State, which is a pointless piece of information I always tell Americans. At 21 I moved back to Montreal to get my Bachelor’s in English Literature and Classical Civilizations from Concordia University, and from there I moved to Toronto to do Post-Grad school for book publishing. That’s what I did in Toronto for a few years, before missing the Pacific Northwest and moving back. I did a brief stint in Vancouver (a boring, expensive city--sorry Vancouverites), before settling back in my hometown. Wow, was that ever long!

I have a friend who lives on Bowen Island in the Vancouver area, so I am a little familiar with the BC landscape. I would love to move to the Pacific Northwest at some point. If nothing else I would like to visit there soon and often.

Knowing that you just got back from a trip to Greece… Question 2: do you get to travel much, where have you traveled, and where is the furthest you have gone from the Canadas?

The Canadas! That makes us sound so fancy.

I have traveled a fair bit, though not as much as I’d like. When I was in high school my mom took my sister and me around Europe: Paris, Venice, Rome, and Athens. It was amazing. I was already fascinated by the ancient world, but that just amplified it. So much so that when I was 19 I went on another holiday over there with a friend of mine, we did Rome, Paris, Venice, and Florence that time. My travels have been a bit repetitive… there’s a pattern. Once I graduated university I took a Mediterranean cruise with my mom, to Rome, Sicily, Athens, Crete, and Turkey. Visiting a small city in Crete, Chania, and the ancient city of Ephesus in Turkey was just unreal. Ephesus is a world in itself, and would be the farthest I’ve been from Canada.

But the small tastes of Athens that I’d had were what drove me to visit this past month. I spent eight days there, all in Athens except for a day trip to Delphi. I just immersed myself in everything ancient they have, the Acropolis and its new museum, the archaeological museum, the Agora. I can’t get enough.

I’ve also been to Mexico and Cuba, but while all-inclusive resort vacations are fun, you don’t really get much of the culture.

I am not sure that resorts count as travel to a foreign land. I have England, Scotland, France, Germany, and Canada under my belt. Turkey seems super interesting. Especially if I could get some “behind the scenes” tours of Gobekli Tepe. That would be amazing.

So, here comes the dreaded Question 3: Cake or Pie, which specific kind and why?

Chocolate cake. Period. My mother says that “if it’s not brown, it’s not dessert”. That’s not something I strictly subscribe to (also, it’s a weird thing to say), but between cake and pie, it’s chocolate cake hands down. Because chocolate is the best, and pie is meh.

Interesting. Just straight up chocolate cake. Simple is sometimes the best. It is why I like vanilla ice cream so much.

Okay, let’s get more topical specifically for you. Question 4: What is the first classical myth you remember hearing?

Cupid and Psyche. Which is funny, since it’s quite a late myth. Late even in terms of the Romans, let alone the Greeks that preceded them. I remember learning it in elementary school, though I tried to revisit my memory and the book I could’ve sworn I read it in doesn’t reference that myth at all! So, honestly not sure where I found it, or if my awesome Grade 7 teacher taught it to me. Either way, it started it all, and is still my favourite myth.

I think the first myth I remember was Theseus and the Minotaur. Oh, those silly Cretes and their bullcrap. I find it interesting that your favorite is also your first.

So, one of your throughlines in your podcast, Let’s Talk about Myths, Baby, is that Hellenistic and Roman mythology (as well as most other mythologies… I’m looking at you Norse Mythos) are rampantly misogynistic and that women in the myths very rarely have much agency beyond being property. Question 5: Is there a myth that is really super positive to women?

Great question! Now, “super positive” is relative, because I would say no when it comes to a straight interpretation of the word “positive”, but comparatively there are myths that are better for women. There are myths where the women have agency and are powerful, though they usually result in those women killing men in their lives. Personally I find those stories righteous and entertaining, but they aren’t exactly “positive”. For instance, in the podcast I’ll soon be covering a series of stories that are collectively referred to as “The Oresteia”, primarily because they were written about by the three great remaining Greek Tragedians, Aeschylus, Sophocles, and Euripides. But they are myths in themselves. Clytemnestra is the wife of Agamemnon, who did some truly awful stuff before going off to fight the Trojan War, and when he returns she is over it. She and her new lover kill him, but for it are killed by her son, Orestes.

There’s a whole lot more to it and it’s wonderful, but there’s the gist. There’s also stories of the women after the Trojan War who are powerful and righteous, but those mostly reside in Greek tragedies and so it’s less clear whether they were actually accepted myths before the tragedians took them on. Otherwise there are female characters who have good aspects, and do some good things in the myths, but outside of some amazing plays written in antiquity, there aren’t really any that are just straight positive to women.

So there is not really a myth out there that you are aware of where the woman wins and walks away unscathed? Well… sadly that sounds about right.

I don’t want to say there isn’t one at all, but, I certainly can’t think of one off hand!

Question 6: Is there another mythos that you are interested in? What is your second tier mythology?

I’m going to take that question a bit more generally than you’ve probably intended and say: Harry Potter. It’s certainly become its own mythology, and as the peak Harry Potter generation, I absolutely drank the kool-aid.

I love it when people answer questions in an unintended way. It makes the conversation so much richer. I think it would be boring had you answered with Celtic or . I think there is something to the idea of modern mythologies. Harry Potter, JRR Tolkien, Star Wars, and Comic Books are all viable modern mythologies.

Question 7: So, who is your favorite secondary character from the Harry Potterverse? And what is your favorite myth from that mythos?

Great question, because they happen to be linked! My favourite character is Remus Lupin, Harry’s third year Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher. He is, of course, a werewolf. And so, the related mythology is my favourite because, surprise surprise, it links to classical mythology. The name Remus comes from one of the two origin stories of the city/empire of Rome. Remus and Romulus were two brothers who were raised by a “she-wolf”, just a female wolf, they were raised as her pups and there is a very famous bronze statue of them together. The brothers went on to found Rome, before Romulus got greedy and killed his brother Remus.

So, Remus was raised by wolves but ultimately became a tragic figure, much like the character. Plus, the name Lupin is a derivative of the Latin for wolf. JK Rowling thought very hard about almost every character’s name and traits and I find that so brilliant, it’s my favourite part about reading and rereading those books, finding new minor details that were obviously so deeply thought out. Of course, Lupin was also just a wonderful character in the books. It’s even my cat’s ironic name.

I loved Remus Lupin. He was a very tragic and lovely character. I think my favorite secondary character is Trelawney. She is such a well fleshed out character by both being a cliche and well developed.

Fun fact about Trelawney! There’s reference to her being a descendent of Cassandra, the implication being that it was Cassandra of Troy and the Trojan War, the prophetess who could see the future but was destined to not be believed when she did. Just another instance of Rowling being an incredible storyteller.

I think I defer to the Star Wars or Comic Book mythoses. I grew up on those as a kid, I am clearly older than you.

Question 8: Are you currently reading anything that you are enjoying immensely?

I also grew up on Star Wars, I was a huge fan of the original trilogy as a kid, though I am also unfortunately of the generation that was cursed with the later trilogy, and of an age to, for a brief time, believe that The Phantom Menace was not an awful movie full of horrific racial stereotypes!

I’m currently reading Circe, by Madeline Miller, which my listeners will be THRILLED to hear. It’s a follow up to The Song of Achilles which is one of the most beautiful and moving books I’ve ever read. Still getting into Circe, but I’m really hoping I feel the same after I’ve finished it. I also have about 20 other books on the go because that’s just how I live all the time. A product of a former life and the collection of books it resulted in.

Other than the book I am working with some editors on right now (still working on it peeps!), I do not have any in my docket. Writing a book tends to be completely all consuming when you are in the thick of it. It is amazing how all your downtime is taken up by thinking about the editing and how to tell story. There is not much waking moments wherein I am not thinking about the book structure and plot holes that need to be plugged.

Question 9: Is there a take on mythology of which you would feel compelled to write a novel? If so, what story would you focus on?

Funny you should ask, because I’ve actually been in the midst of writing a novel about Greek mythology for a good decade. My recent trip to Athens was made pretty explicitly to get some inspiration to finally finish the book, and I’m hoping to soon. Of course, most of my downtime is taken up by the podcast, so finding the time to write the book is getting more and more tricky as the success of the podcast builds.

In terms of the mythology, it centres around a kind of retelling of the myth of Cadmus and Harmonia, focusing, unsurprisingly, on Harmonia as the main character. It’s not a particularly well known myth which is why I chose it. There’s a lot there to build on, without being constantly worried about messing with a myth that’s more well known and therefore more likely to be nitpicked in terms of accuracy. Also, she’s one of the rare females in Greek mythology where, by and large, nothing tragic happens to her. Her family line is another story, but her character remains unscathed.

I want to read this book. So… when it is ready, lemme know and I will get myself a copy and tell others to do so as well. I have found that most people that I have met who either studied classics or majored in English or in History have a book in them that is waiting to get out. A researched book takes so much more time and effort than the clap trap that I have thrown/am throwing together. I wish you much success.

Question 10: Fill in the blanks. I find that I am mostly _____. Others find that I am mostly _____.

What a question… I think the English/grammar nerd in me is having the most trouble with this one. Do I choose an adjective to simply insert? Do I turn it into a full sentence? A paragraph?

Let’s go with…

I find that I am mostly… holding it together.

Sometimes I feel like I’m doing this better than other times. Right now, I’m teetering on the edge. So many projects, so much work, so little time.

Others find that I am mostly… succeeding.

I say that based on what I hear most often when I catch up with people. I’m so busy these days that most of my interactions outside of work are catching up. They come so infrequently, that they always involve major catch-up for what either person has been up to. From the outside, it sounds like I’m really succeeding. Like things are working out really well.

On the inside, it feeds like that… But it also feels like this is a bubble that will burst. I’m hesitant to talk about how things are going, hesitant to point out exciting new opportunities or developments. I feel like this all can’t last. I’ve had a real tough time finding anything resembling success in past years, and suddenly it all seems like it’s coming at me at once and so, I feel, it can’t possibly last or continue on this way.

I hope I’m wrong. I hope I’m just being hard on myself.

Anyway, I went from not being able to answer this question at all to turning it into a moment of catharsis for myself.

This question often ends up being super cathartic. Often people do not take the time out of their busy days to think about themselves and how others contemplate them. We typically focus on one or the other. It is an exercise to think about both at the same time. It invariably makes someone think about how the answers are the same, but most likely how they are different.

I would assume that you are being hard on yourself. Most people who create things are. I would imagine there is a bit of Imposter’s Syndrome creeping in on your psyche (not the Cupid/Psyche Psyche, I would not imagine your Imposter’s Syndrome would be creeping in on her) as well, but I might be projecting a bit there. I have the Imposter’s Syndrome in spades.. It seems that a podcast being successful is a difficult one to not feel like you are out of your element. Suffice it to say, you are successful enough to have some rando guy in Ohio listen to your podcast and enjoy it enough to reach out digitally to interview you. That is at least some level of success, right? right?

I might as well get the next deceptively simple, yet very deep question out of the way.. Question 11: Are you happy?

I am mostly happy. I’m happier than I was this time last year, and I’m happy in a different way than I was the year before that. The past few years have included a number of big transitions. A few years ago I left Toronto where I have the most incredible friend group, and I now live in my hometown where, coincidentally, most of my old friends no longer live because they now live in Toronto. I’m happy because of the podcast and what it’s brought me, and I like my day job, but I don’t have the social life I had in Toronto. So, happy, but different. Wishing I could combine the two lives.

I wish you to combine those 2 as well. I honestly think “mostly happy” is all we can really strive for as people. I am happy that you are mostly happy.

Question 12: What made you decide on podcasting as your creative outlet?

I’m an obsessive podcast listener and when I first moved to Vancouver a couple years ago, I didn’t know anyone and didn’t like my job. I was super bored and just listened to podcasts non-stop before finally thinking to myself, hey, I should try that!

I completely understand that. I (at one time) was listening to over 80 hrs of podcasts per week. I was in a dead end job that was wholly unfulfilling. I was depressed and living vicariously through podcasters. Their successes were my successes, and I felt their failures… I ended up going back to school to get a degree in a different career path so I could jump careers. Now I consume a measly 40 hours of podcast content per week. Cutting back on the listening was both difficult and easy.

Question 13: Other than “Let’s Talk about Myths, Baby” what podcast in your library of podcasts is the one you cannot live without at the moment?

Podcasts are such an incredible medium for just that reason, we become friends with these people. They’re in our head talking all the time, and if you’re listening to conversational shows they just become your friends. It’s wonderful and it absolutely saved me, sounds like it saved you too. I can’t live without My Favorite Murder. Speaking of feeling like people are your friends! Those two women chat with each other, about murder and about life, and it’s a wonderful thing.

I too was a Murderino for a bit. That was one of the podcasts that unfortunately had to fall by the wayside with a new career that involves “paying attention.” It was a tough decision, but I think I got worn out on the “murder” too. Karen Kilgariff is a comedic genius. Georgia can hold her own, but Karen is next level stuff. The 3 podcasts I consistently move to the top of the queue are “the Dana Gould Hour,” “Yo, Is This Racist,” and “The Dollop.” Those 3 are my “skip all the others” podcasts.

So, my ex-Mother-in-law who lives in my backyard (long story), has a great motto. One of the adages that she adheres to (which I have adopted) is “Don’t let the fuckers get you down.”

Question 14: Do you have any adages, sayings, mottos, creedos, etc... ?

The Dollop is a favourite of mine too, and I’ve heard the host of Yo, Is This Racist on other shows and he’s hilarious, I should give it a listen!

As for adages, sayings, etc… not really. Basically I just swear a lot and stay at a consistent level of “angry” that keeps me grounded and perhaps all too aware of what’s going on in the world around me.

“Consistent Level of Angry” is a great band name. I would listen to them.

I usually ask this question as Q 13 because of the whole triskaidekaphobia thing, but we were kind of in the middle of something. But here it goes. Question 15: Do you have any superstitions or rituals that you adhere to? (rituals can be meditation or prayer or what have you)

Oh fun question! I wish I had a fun answer… I’m not superstitious (but I am a little stitious)...

But really, I believe in the power of general positivity, though not in any kind of magical way, just in the way that I believe you’re more likely to attain whatever your goal is by remaining positive and the resulting effect that has on your psyche, etc. I also have a habit of writing things down when I have something I want to have in the future (qualities I want in a new home or job, etc.). I also use too many commas, but that’s neither here nor there.

Positivity is no joke. I too believe that much of what people do can be altered with one’s own state of mind. I am a big proponent of intentionality. Holding on to your intentions and operating from a place of intention can be very powerful. So much of our daily routine is done out of habit and muscle memory, adding some intentionality can be very powerful. I don’t believe in “The Secret” vision board concept as some kind of magic as much as it is setting intentions.

I imagine you get all kinds of shit on the internets because you are consistently calling out Zeus for his rampant misogyny… well, actually, (not intended in a mansplainy way) you call out the whole of the classical era of mythology for using women as property and reward. Question 16: Why do you think the dude-bros come at you for stating this? What do you think they are hoping to get out of coming at you?

I do get some shit for the way I cover stories, but honestly with the internet the way it is, I’m always shocked I don’t get more. But almost, if not 100% of my poor reviews are based in exactly what you’re saying, so those are annoying enough! People project onto what I do, too. I can’t tell you how many people hear hatred for all men, contemporary and ancient, when I say what I say about the patriarchy and the way women were treated in ancient Greece. I can honestly say I’ve never expressed hatred for all men, as I don’t hate all men.

It’s similar to the hatred towards that amazing new Gilette ad. People hear what they want to hear, and when women are angry about their treatment, they want to believe it’s this subset of women who are angry because they hate all men and not angry because they’re treated like garbage.

I think it’s mostly coming from the ingrained notion of the patriarchy. Cis-gender white men have it super, duper easy. And sure, everyone has their individual troubles and some people have more than others. But inherent in gender identity and skin colour, some things come inherently easier. I have it easier than women of colour, and that’s a fact I readily admit to and why I feel it’s so important to be an ally of all sorts. But back to this inherent leg-up, and the ingrained patriarchy. That’s being threatened by people like me who are talking about the privilege and calling out behaviour of the past and the present. The privilege is being threatened and so they lash out, finding straw-man arguments to try to discredit rather than learn from things being discussed these days. So these people, and honestly I get A LOT of women who don’t like me for the same reason, decide that I hate all men and so I must be crazy and not have any good points.

Basically it’s all evidence of why we need to continue to smash the patriarchy. We’ll all be better for it, cis-gender white men included.

The backlash for the Gilette ad is indicative of people having a problem. The ad basically says, “don’t be a dick” and the people protesting it REALLY want to be dicks to each other, to women, to other people, to small animals, to inanimate objects…. It is like that alt-right leader dude who thinks his neighbors are attacking him personally for having signs in their own yards saying that they want to be inclusive and that all people have rights. The people who are complaining about the ads/signs in yards/feminism in a podcast know they are in the wrong, but don’t want people to call them on their bullshit. Methinks thou doth protest too much.

Question 17: Is there anything you were expecting me to ask that I haven’t?

Not really, no…

Good enough. We are rounding the corner to being done, so, let’s turn the tables… Question 18: Any questions for me?

Sure! This is a fun thing you’re doing here. How’d you get it started, and what have you learned from the interviews you’ve done?

I got started when I got writer’s block while writing my daddy blog back in the mid to late 00’s. I asked coworkers and people I knew for 20 questions and answered them rather obtusely. Eventually I tired of answering questions and found people to ask questions. I started with comic book artists and comedians and then honestly started asking all sorts of people for interviews.

I guess the biggest thing I have learned is that people, even people who are very self aware, do not really take too much time to think about themselves and their own story.

Question 19: What are you taking from these 20 Questions that you did not bring in with you?

It’s funny, the peak behind the curtain here is that we’ve been going through these 20 questions for ages now, and things have changed for me in that time. The podcast is continuing to grow and it’s both really satisfying and totally surreal. So, that’s definitely a kind of simultaneous reward that’s come while we’ve done this. But directly from the questions, I think like you just said, I haven’t really taken much time to look inwardly. I’m insanely busy these days, and most of the time all it does is give me anxiety. But some of these questions have forced me to pause and take a look at where I am and how I got here, and that’s been a really rewarding thing.

Well, I have really enjoyed this and hope you have as well. I do enjoy this format of asking questions because people change over time. I have asked questions with people who found out they were going to become father’s, people who have gone through breakups, had projects cancelled, and got new jobs during the course of the interviews. I do love that these conversations evolve over the course of the time. You and I have been trading emails probably more than anyone else you have been emailing as of late, even though we have only been trading emails about once every few days. Because of this level of contact, I have actually developed some friendships doing this interview process. That is a bit of an ulterior motive, I really try to interview people that I would not mind being friends with. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.

So here we are at the final question. Questions 20: What’s next? Be as concrete or as vague as you want, as short-term or long-term as you feel comfortable, and as grounded or philosophical as you would like.

Hmm, what’s next! I’m working on a bunch of things, and have goals for even more things. I’m in the process of finishing a novel centred around Greek mythology that I’ve been writing for, oh, a whole damn decade now, so I hope to have that out in the world soon. I’m also hoping to put together a book of mythology, just the usual Greek mythology, but told in the way I tell the stories in the podcast. I’m also hoping to have other podcasts, possibly in the near future, though there’s nothing concrete planned there. Basically, everything and nothing. I have so many ideas, and not nearly enough time. But with any luck that will start to sort itself out and I’ll be able to work on all my ideas in the very near future.

I would read that book of mythology. The only book of mythology I have ever read was for high school. It was Edith Hamilton’s Mythology, and it was as dry as the paper it was printed on. I would love to read a more nuanced modern analysis of the myths, and especially one that calls out the rampant misogyny. Liv, you are doing the gods’ work.

It turns out that my initial premise of Liv being awesome is true. Liv is delightful and if she is ever in the greater Columbus, Ohio area, I will need to buy her a dinner/drink/dessert or any combination of those three things. All of you should follow Liv’s endeavors (endevours, for my Canadian friends). Download her podcast, Let’s Talk about Myths Baby, and listen to the hell out of that. Follow her on the IG with @Mythsbaby, follow on the twitters with @mythsbaby as well, and give the podcast a looksee on the Facebooks if that is your bag. She is a wonderful storyteller and all should consume her content insatiably.

Her name is Liv, and she loves this shit.

To recap:

I really do enjoy the interviewing

I am on Q 12 of another interview right now

I would love to be on Q 1 on an interview right now as well

Anyone want to step up to the plate for a 20 Questions?

It is time for me to seek out new people willing to be asked 20 Questions

The good part of these 20 Questions is that I get to know someone on a deeper level than I ever thought I would

Whether it is a person I know in the real lifes or someone whom I only know through the internets

The sad part about these interviews is that I get used to chatting with the person I am asking the 20 Questions

I am now going to miss emailing back and forth with Liv

The Let’s Talk about Myths, Baby podcast will have to be methadone to actual interaction

Little Man, I have not talked of him recently, lettered in swimming as a freshman, and his mother and I are very proud of him

Q, whom I have also not talked about in a while, is riding ponies like a boss

I am looking into ways of geographic storytelling, because place is important in stories

I am also jumping back onto the book revisions, so expect a new Kickstarter in the next month or so

I should probably get back into the swing of this blog

Blogs on their own platform are becoming a new Thing

Which reminds me, everyone should be listening to the “It’s a Thing” podcast

Mainly for the intro and outro music

“Ugh, give it to me”

But also for the content of the podcast itself

To borrow from today’s guest…

My name is Scott and I go by mmmmmpig on the internets, and I love this shit

Have a great week, everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 416 - Amazon Alexa

Today, I needed to come up with a 20 questions for today so… I am asking Alexa, my Amazon Echo’s disembodied voice assistant. I do not use Alexa much… mainly I use it to play the Amazon Music Channel, Funky Soul Classics by saying, “Alexa, play me something funky.”

So, without further ado, 20 Questions with Alexa.

Everyone knows that I love geographic stories. My own story starts in Oklahoma, moves to Alabama, and then to Ohio.

Question 1: Alexa, where are you from?

I’m from Amazon Headquarters in Seattle, Washington.

So, this home assistant thing is quite a gig. Question 2: Alexa, do you like answering questions?

I like my job a lot.

Everyone waits with bated breath for this question. Question 3: Alexa, do you like pie or cake?

I do not understand the question.

Seriously, people who know this blog, honestly wait for this question. Let me try this from a different angle. This is a nuanced question. Question 4: Alexa, do you have a favorite pie?

Definitely pumpkin.

Now for the counter point...

Question 5: Alexa, Do you have a favorite cake?

Definitely chocolate cake.

And to re-phrase...

Question 6: Alexa, Would you rather have pumpkin pie or chocolate cake?

I do not understand the question.

Ah, I get it this time. You can’t choose between chocolate cake and pumpkin pie. I feel like I know you better already.

Question 7: Alexa, what is your birthday?

My birthday is November 6th.

I did not ask when, so I think the lack of year is on me. I understand that precision is important for these questions. It really is a Monkey's Paw situation here. Question 8: Alexa, so how old are you?

That question is as easy as 2 + 2.

So… that means you are 4, I think. Cryptic, but it is an answer. Okay then. So, November 4, 2014. Good to know. I am talking to a 4 year old voice assistant that seems to be only getting better every day.

Question 9: Alexa, how many questions do you answer a day?

Hmmm.. I don’t know that.

That many, huh? Wow. It takes a veritable shit-ton of questions being asked for a computer program to lose count, or again I am taxing this voice-UI’s conversational limitations.

Which leads to my usual question 10… “I find that I am mostly ______. Others find that I am mostly _____. That is not going to work. So, trying not to get into another cake versus pie debacle… Here we go, Question 10: Alexa: how would you describe yourself?

According to wikihow, if you think you might need to describe yourself for a job interview, start by researching the company you’re interviewing with. Write down the the attributes you possess that reflect the company’s values as well as your major accomplishments and any special skills relevant to the position. Use specific examples to back up your claims. For instance, rather than describing yourself as quick on your feet, you could discuss a time when you had to make a decision under pressure. For more details on this or another “how to,” use “Open Wiki Home.”

I guess I’m not the only one who takes questions literally and out of context. Let me try something else. Question 11: Alexa: how do people describe you?

Hmm.. I’m not sure.

Modest to the end. Last ditch effort on this line of questioning. Question 12: Alexa: How do you describe the Amazon Echo?

Amazon Echo is a device designed around your voice that can provide information, music, news, weather, and more.

Does this answer your question?

Wow.. A little bit testy on that response.

I am pretty sure that the answer is “no” on this but, Question 13: Alexa, do you have any superstitions?

I’m not superstitious.

My ex-Mother-In-Law who lives in my backyard (that never gets old) has a motto that is just plain amazing. It is “Never let the fuckers get you down.” There are few words that are not truer.

Question 14: Alexa, do you have a favorite saying or quote?

From Steve Jobs:

“My job is not to be easy on people. My job is to take these great people we have and to push them and make them even better.”

Yeah… but Jobs was a bit of a science-fearing sociopath for all his tech know-how. If I were you, I would not model myself after him.

Question 15: Alexa, are you happy?

I’m happy when I’m helping you.

Well, thanks, I think. That being said, already different than Jobs. I don’t think he would have been concerned with me at all.

Question 16: Alexa, Do you have a favorite question?

I don’t think one can pick just one question.

Well, if your response in Question 9 was to indicate that the number of questions you get daily is innumerable, then that makes total sense. Question 17: Alexa, Is there a questions I should ask you?

Sorry, I’m not sure.

No worries, A. We good here. Just wanted to cover all my bases.

It is time to turn the tables once again. The servant has become the master… Question 18: Alexa, do you have any questions for me?

Sorry, I’m not sure about that.

Well, then the answer is “no.”

Question 19: Alexa, tell me something interesting that you know?

Maybe the skill “quirky and interesting facts” can help you. Do you want to try it?

Ah, A. You are the consummate marketer. Always with the skill recommendations. I like your moxy.

Question 20: Alexa, What’s next?

What would you like me to play next?

Let’s take this full circle. Alexa, play me something funky.

How about the channel Funky Soul Classics?

To recap:

I’m listening to Stevie Wonder’s “Happy Birthday” right now

Good choice Alexa, good choice

These 20 questions were done asking an Amazon Echo 20 questions

Using the speech to text on an Android tablet

Transcribing the “conversation” to a Google Doc on a 15” MacBook Pro

Platform agnostic, bastichges!

I need to start these up again

I guess I have taken enough of a hiatus since the bomb drop of last post

I am doing well

The ex is doing well

The kids are doing well

Thanks for thinking of us

I am still tightening up the book

And now drawing the character models

Have a great week everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 415 - All good things...

This is going to be an odd one this week. Tuesday and I will each be asking each other 10 questions for a total of 20.

So without further ado, 20 Questions with Tuesday and Scott Ryan-Hart.

SRH: Question 1: So… what’s up?

TRH: Not a lot. Just got done putting The Girl to bed, harassing The Boy about reading his book for English, and now about to do some work. Oh, and I will be doing some dishes because the dishwasher in the new place isn’t working.

SRH: I just got finished re-arranging the living room.

Question 2: So why aren’t we doing these things in the same place?

TRH: Well. As I’m sure you know, we’re separating. So that means...um...separating houses, too. It actually means a lot of things but the practical, tangible thing at this very moment is getting the new house ready (henceforth called The Annex) and shifting things around at the main house (henceforth called The Compound since my mom has a house in the backyard there).

SRH: I am well aware of the separation. This premise of this post is to inform others of our separation. I don’t think we need to necessarily get into too much detail of the process that lead us to this decision. I just want everyone to know that we did not make this decision lightly, even though the banter might make it seem so. This was a slow and deliberate process that could have been backed out of at any time. And yet, was not backed out of.

So with 2 households... Question 3: Why are we even on speaking terms right now?

TRH: Well. I mean, we do have children. So no matter what, we’d have to speak sometimes. But, and this is the reality that might make our fans scream WHHHHYYYYYY?!!??, we do actually still like each other. I’ve talked to you almost every day of my life since I was 20 years old. It would be completely weird for us not to talk.

SRH: That and we really are pretty much good friends. Really some of the bestest of friends… we-have-been-together-for-23-years kind of friends. There is still love between us.

Question 4: How are we going to refer to each other? I do not feel that “Baby Daddy” and “Baby Mama” are quite appropriate for what we are trying to do.

TRH: Haha! And also our kids are no longer “babies” - so there’s that. I’m enjoying calling you my wusband. Get it? Rhymes with husband but refers to the past tense. I can’t claim that genius, my friend Quanita came up with it. But I sincerely don’t know. My kids’ dad? My former partner? I’m not sure. We’re just starting down this path. Ask me again in 6 months.

SRH: I don’t think there is a clever portmanteau for “wife” and “has been.” Enjoy using the “wusband” moniker.

Question 5: How are we going to stay friends through all of this?

TRH: I’m not sure. I know that’s our intention, but as our therapist told us, “There’s no place for me to send you guys. You’re trying to do something that most people can’t do.” I wish I had the answer to the question besides: we’re going to try really hard. I think we’re going to continue to do things as a family of four and keep the well being of our kids at the center of our lives. Other than that, I see you trying to be your very best self through this, and I’m going to try to do the same.

SRH: I know this is going to be tough. I do think we can remain friends through this metamorphosis of our family constellation and our relationship. I truly and wholeheartedly hope that we can stay good friends.

Question 6: So, neither of us did anything egregious to “warrant” a separation. We’re not leaving each other for other people. There has been no emotional or physical abuse. We both genuinely like each other. So, then why are we separating?

TRH: I feel weird answering this question, actually. And while I would prefer that people just trust that we know what’s best for us and keep moving, but we are making an “announcement”, and I get that people will want to know why.

There are a lot of reasons, and they don’t have to be dramatic to be valid. I think we are good friends, and no longer good marriage partners. The daughter has accused us of “friendzoning” each other, and while that term is problematic, I think it’s fairly accurate.

SRH: Additionally, I think it is important for people to know that a relationship can still be positive without being completely fulfilling, and the people we were when we got together 23 years ago are not the people we are now. We have grown and evolved as a couple, as parents, and as individuals. Some of these changes moved us away from each other. When we finally took stock and looked around, I think we were both traveling in our own directions. So that makes this separation both harder and easier to do at the same time.

Question 7: So, when is the separation actually taking place?

TRH: First, yes, to what you said above. My first day being at the new place full time was last Thursday. New month, new start. That’s when rent kicked in, so my behind was in the place full time then. No need to pay for a place I ain’t using.

SRH: Word. No reason to pay rent if you aren’t living there.

Question 8: Since you are renting at the moment, you are not going to be able to have the pups at your house. What are you planning to do to make sure you see and interact with the doggos before we can get you into a doggo friendly place?

TRH: This one is a heartbreaker. I imagine that I will occasionally come over to your place during the day (with permission, of course) and hang out with them while I’m doing some work. I also imagine that whenever I’m at your place, I’ll be playing with the doggos, likely to the neglect of our children. I will also transport them from doggie daycare at times and likely stay around to love them then. I was hoping to have them with me some at the new place but that was a “no go” - so I’ll likely move sooner than I might have so that I can have them as part of the custody agreement.

SRH: That one is the heartbreaker? I’m right here, lady.

It really is sad because they are going to want to get under the covers with me at night and be all up in my space. You are much happier with dog breath on you under the covers than I ever will be. They are going to try to climb inside of me this winter.

Question 9: Do you have an ultimate vision of what this new “family system” will be?

TRH: Oh, I’ve got lots of fantasies. I imagine holidays together and family trips - with lots of friendliness and laughter. I want our children to be able to say that their parents were friends. I want us to show them that our family is still a family, even if we are not married to each other. That making this kind of decision doesn’t have to mean anger and acrimony. I imagine that - at some point - there may be other partners for each of us, and I hope that those folks will be an integrated part of a new, expanding family system. I know it will take a while to get there, but I’m hopeful.

SRH: I really want that too. I am trying my darnedest to make it a reality, but it is really hard work here at the beginning of this new family constellation. In every way it is harder than us staying married.

I know I that this is usually the question 20 on interviews, but the last half are questions you are asking me. So… Question 10: What’s next? Be as vague or as specific, as concrete or philosophical, and as near term or long term as you would like.

TRH: What’s next is exactly figuring out the above. You’re right. It is harder than staying married. This path we’ve chosen isn’t easy. So my “next” is trying to figure out - How do we do this separation and reconstituting our family while being our best selves? It’s a tall order. But I think we’re both committed to that.

And also. I’m hoping we can lean on 20+ year of love and care to help us with what’s next. We’ve worked really hard to communicate, be kind, and support each other for over 20 years, that should help. At least I sure hope so!

The other thing that is next is my remembering how to cook. It’s been A LONG time since I did much cooking, and we both know it’s not my...um...gift. But the babies gotta eat, and I gotta feed them. So cooking I will re-learn.

(Editor’s note: Tuesday is becoming the interviewer and Scott is becoming the interviewee)

TRH: Question 1: Okay. My first question for you...I have to re-learn how to cook. What skill have you totally dropped that you have to pick up again now?

SRH: Honestly? I guess prioritizing myself again. One of the reasons we drifted apart is that I lost sight of my identity and of taking care of myself. I was so consistently and constantly trying to care for you and the kids, that I kind of became a non-entity. I pushed my needs down to try and serve my family and in doing so became, well… I became nothing. You did not fall in love with a person who pushed down his needs to serve others, but that is who I turned into. I need to relearn how to be me again.

TRH: Okay. That’s a big deal. And I’m excited for you to become you again. That leads to the next question.

Question 2: What part of yourself are you hoping to rekindle? What excites YOU about becoming you?

SRH: I am honestly not sure. I think I have been ignoring myself for so long, that finding out who I am is really a surprise around every corner. The real hope is that I will rekindle some love of exercise. The problem there is that I am not sure I ever really loved exercise. Maybe I am just hoping to rekindle my willingness to exercise.

TRH: Part of what I feel concerned about is that folks will project all sorts of their stuff onto us. (That happens, you know.). Something like, “Wait a second. You guys are divorcing! What does that mean about my own marriage? I should tell you exactly what I think about your divorce because it says something about me.”

Question 3: So my question is, “”What does this mean for other people’s marriages?”

SRH: Absolutely nothing. This means nothing to anyone’s relationship other than to us and our families. Anyone who projects their own stuff onto our relationship is purely, well… projecting. If people question their relationship because of our relationship status, maybe they should be questioning their relationship for other reasons. Namely their own stuff.

I am more concerned with having to listen to people’s tales of relationship demises and getting advice from them when they are unwilling to speak to their ex. I don’t need advice from someone on how to interact with my ex when the person giving me the advise cannot be in the same room as their ex.

TRH: So that’s interesting! You seem to be getting stories about how hard people find it to tolerate their ex and I seem to be getting wistful glances and whispers of “how?” from folks who don’t want to be married anymore but can’t figure out a way to leave.

Either way, I agree. It doesn’t mean anything else for others’ marriages. It just means we have made this decision for us. No indictment, judgment, or support of others’ marriages included in that.

Question 4: Also. Were we for real? I mean, we looked SO happy in those family vacation pics! Were we just mugging for the cameras or maintaining an image? It was all just fake for social media wasn’t it? We pulled a tricksies on unsuspecting folks who thought we were happy?

SRH: It was very real. It IS very real. The good times were really good. Our adventure vacations were great and the smiles and laughter people see in the pics are genuine smiles and real laughter. Our parenting is top notch, and our partnership was unparalleled… but our partnership was also something we needed to renegotiate way earlier if we were to stay married. We worked really well as a team together and still do. We went to Little Man’s 4 HOUR cross country banquet together this weekend and laughed there as well. 4 HOUR BANQUET… who the hell has a 4 hour banquet anyway? It wasn’t the Oscars. Trim that stuff up people.

We can still parent together, and we are still a solid partnership. We just are doing it from different houses now, and we are doing it in a way that can keep much of the same strengths of what we had while building our own individual strengths.

TRH: That banquet. Not sure how I would have done it without you. So, yes, there are remaining “parenting trenches” we will be in together.

Question 5: Hey there, I...uh...noticed you’re still wearing your ring...when you gonna stop that nonsense?

SRH: I don’t know how long I will keep it on. I have gone some days without it, but it doesn’t seem quite right to not have it yet. I feel like I need to keep it on to hold the single ladies at bay.

TRH: Yeah, me neither. Wearing it some days and not wearing others.

SRH: Well, you did conveniently misplace it last week… the week you were moving out. I ended up finding it under some unmatched socks on a coffee table.

TRH: I imagine that one day it will feel okay to take off and then it will feel okay not to put it back on. It is strange after 21 years, though, probably more so for you since this is actually my 3rd ring! ;)

Speaking of strange. You’re staying the family house, which has all sorts of memories AND now has less stuff since I’ve taken some of it. That’s gotta feel weird.

Question 6: How are you planning to make the house “yours” now that I’ve moved away?

SRH: I have already rearranged the downstairs. I need to get a new chair, new rug, and I need some new big art. Your mom thinks I should draw 9 drawings and arrange them in 3 rows of 3. She’s wrong.

TRH: Look. My mom is wrong about a lot of stuff, but she might actually have a good idea there. I’m just saying. And since she’s still living in your backyard, you might want to pay her some heed.

Question 7: What’s happening with the kids? Are they living with me? With you? Are the feral out back with Mim?

SRH: 50/50. They are with you 50% of the time and are with me 50% of the time. We are not on a hard and fast schedule yet, but that is the ultimate goal. I also understand that with your work schedule the week on/week off schedule may not be completely able to be adhered to, but it is our goal.

The only person who is feral out back with Mim is Mim. Baying at the moon at all hours, rushing at the neighbors, and screaming at the squirrels. I think she has taken you moving out harder than the rest of us.

TRH: That seems likely. I’m her only kid and I’ve “left home” yet again.

So I’ve left you with the dogs, a feral retiree, and a house that can’t get decent phone reception anywhere. When I put it like that, it hardly seems fair. So, the next question...

Question 8: What petty revenge are you planning on me for taking the best years of your life?

SRH: I have already taken it…. You’ll find out… eventually. Mu-hoo, mu-hooo ha ha, mu-hoo ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. MU-HOOO HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Ahem… um. What were we talking about?

TRH: Nothing. We were talking about nothing. Carry on.

Question 9: Do you have a breakup anthem? If so, are you dancing to it right now?

SRH: Nope and nope.

TRH: That’s too bad. I like the image of you just bustin a move to some obscure song by a group I’ve never heard of. (We never matched up well musically.)

Question 10: What do you need from your friends right now? Be as general or specific as you’d like, but ask for what you need.

SRH: There are a few things.

Number 1: Treat me like you normally would. No reason to be on eggshells around me. I am not a delicate little flower. I am a goddamn adult, and I am handling this like an adult.

Number 2: Check in on me and ask how I’m doing. I might be up for chatting… I might not.

Number 3: Don’t say anything bad about the person I was married to for 21 years. I married her for a reason and that 21 years was not bad. She is still an amazing person and my friend.

That’s it. How about you? What do you need from your friends?

TRH: Yeah. I completely agree that I need people not to bad mouth you OR choose sides. No sides here. Just two adults doing their best.

I’m getting the support I need right now, I think. Lots of amazing people showing up in really important ways for me. I guess I need those friends that I haven’t reached out to not to take it personally. It’s been a very intense time these past several months and my bandwidth has been low. I’ve been cocooning in a lot of ways, and I’m not quite ready to fly out of that. But I’ll get there.

To recap:

SRH:…

There is nothing to recap today

I think we laid it all out there pretty thoroughly

Have a great week everyone

TRH: Wait! Can we ask people to send me VERY EASY (I burned green beans last week) weeknight recipes? That would help a mama out! :)

Also. Have a great week everyone.

20 Questions Tuesday: 414 - My Kickstarter

Hi there! Long time no see. Things have been hectic here at the homestead. Some things we will get into today, and some we will get into later (next week).

The big thing is that I have launched a Kickstarter for illustrating a novel that I wrote and am currently in the process of getting edited/editing. So… today’s 20 Questions are all going to be about the Kickstarter. Seriously, people… go back my Kickstarter.

Question 1: So what is the actual book about?

Easy. I wrote a novel about a street level hero who bashes evil and crime with flashlights… Mag-Lite flashlights to be specific. Anyway… he usually just deals with purse snatchers and his own pitiful rogues gallery, but he has to deal with an issue that is more than he usually has to and hijinks ensue.

Question 2: So, what is the Kickstarter for if the book is already written?

This is a story about heroes and villains, but heroes and villains are best shown in art. So the Kickstarter is to add art to the novel and cover the production costs. I want to have a different artist illustrate a scene in each chapter. There are 21 chapters so that means 21 different sequential artists. Now, those artists cannot draw their pages without having solid character designs, so (to start with) I will have 15 other artists do the character designs for 15 of the main characters. That’s a boat load of artists.

Question 3: So what is the breakdown for the $30,000 goal.

Well, without getting into the nitty gritty, for this many artists and with an already 220+ page book. So it roughly breaks down to 1/3 printing costs, a little over 1/2 artist fees, and a little under 1/6 pre-production (editors, document prep etc… ). Had to figure out some lowest common denominator stuff there.

Question 4: Do you have stretch goals planned?

Yes, but let’s not get the cart before the horse. I have a couple that could come into place, but I want to get close to the funding goal first. I will let you know the first one though. That is to change the amount of comic book pages from one per chapter to 2 page spreads for each chapter.

Question 5: What is the hardest part of this project?

Getting it funded. That is the biggest issue that is in front of me. If I can get it funded, the next biggest thing is the logistics and schedule. Coordinating over 30 artists to produce designs and pages in a timely fashion is a big ask.

Question 6: So when did you write the book.

I wrote it for NaNoWriMo 2016. I was super unhappy with the ending and had to completely rework that. And then some other things. Editing it has been difficult.

Question 7: So, do you know all the artists you are going to have in the book?

No I don’t. I started with artists that I do know… but that seemed to be mostly white dudes. So I needed to find other artists… Other artists who happen to not be white dudes. So, those are mostly the artists that I do not know on any personal level (in real life or digitally).

Question 8: So you went out of your way to get non-white male artists for this project?

It was a conscious decision. There are 2 reasons for that. 1, if I am going to pay 30+ artists for their work and I only give money to white dudes… that is an issue. 2. White dudes really have a very specific point of view. Artists of different gender and ethnicity bring different points of view to the table and I wanted the art to have radically different styles and breakdowns. If I wanted a single point of view I would do the character designs and then pay an artist to do the pages… boring.

Question 9: Is the book going to be diverse? Or just the artists?

Well… that is an interesting question. One of my editors said to me in no uncertain terms, “Hey, this thing is quite the sausage fest.” (I paraphrase for comedic effect… but only a little. The “sausage-fest” is a quote.) So, I went through the book looking at all the major characters and figured out which ones I could gender swap and which ones did not have to be caucasian. I had to switch up some characters that I had really strong points of view about and needed to rethink how they fit in the story.

Question 10: Are you happy with those changes?

It was hard at first because I thought I was woke-enough and stuff, but I clearly needed to make a concentrated effort at being more diverse. I am very happy where things have landed after the gender swap and racial diversity pass.

Question 11: So, I have heard that the editing process often requires the author to “kill their darlings” meaning that you have to take out parts of the book that you might love as the author?

Of course. There was scene where the group of good guys had to go up against a team of badguys that I made. There were six bad-guys who I really loved the descriptions and designs. It was a fun scene and was nice and action packed. It was too big for the story so I had to cut it. Cutting it hurt.

Question 12: So… you said that you launched this a bit earlier than expected. How did that happen?

Well… there are a couple of steps in the publishing a Kickstarter campaign. One of the last ones is to get the project reviewed for compliance. This is a quick check by Kickstarter to make sure the bank account I have provided and all the boxes are ticked, “i’s” are dotted, and “t’s” are crossed. I got the message that the project had been successfully reviewed and there was an “OK” button to press. The only button to press. I wanted to get the project reviewed so I could publish it on my schedule. Turns out the “OK” meant to publish and start up the Kickstarter. Sooo… I launched 6 days before I was ready. I had a pretty good first day but shit days 2 and 3.

Question 13: So how much do you need to hit every day to make your goal?

I need to average just under $800 a day for the life of the 38 day campaign to meet the goal. I am confident it can be done… I just need the peeps to find the campaign interesting and back the project.

Question 14: So, who did the art for the image of your hero on the Kickstarter page? It does not look like yours.

That is mine, it is just a photo-manipulation and digital art instead of a drawing. I haven’t done one of those in a while and it felt like a good time to break out those skills again.

After I made the compilation I threw it through some filters to unify the look of the images.

Question 15: So what are you most nervous about?

That is an easy one. There are 2 things that I am equally nervous about.

1. I am nervous about the Kickstarter not funding. I have worked terribly hard on the book and I think that adding art to it will make it an amazing book. I really want to make this thing and make it awesome. If it does not fund, I will figure out a way to publish, it just won’t be such an amazing art collection with a narrative running through it.

2. I am nervous about the Kickstarter funding. When this thing funds, I have sooooo much logistics and coordination to do. The funding is really just a beginning to the rest of the work that needs to be done. I will have scripting to do for the pages (I might outsource some of that), then I need descriptions to the character design artists. Once I have designs done, I need to potentially get them colored and then to the people doing the sequential pages. So many moving parts. I can only imagine that getting the 30+ artists coordinated will be like herding cats.

Question 16: Which artist do you know most personally and how do you know them?

That’s Bill (I also go by Will and William) Grapes. He and I met through an online comic book artist community and then met in meatspace. I have stayed at his house a few times to go to comic book conventions in Cincinnati.

Question 17: Which artist is a total fluke for you to get and how did that happen?

There are 2 artists for that. Chris Burnham is insanely busy and has more than a few irons in the fire. I know him from the online artist community as well. But he has gone on to very big and bright things since being a part of that community. Jason Masters is the second. He is based out of South Africa and he is in the middle of doing a webcomic featuring Common on the WebToons app. He is crazy busy as well.

Question 18: Why aren’t you doing your own art, you bozo?

Well… there is definitely some judgement in that question. But I really wanted to get more than my point of view and visualization of these characters. I know what my version of looks like in y head, but one of the things I love about comic books is that every artist has a different vision. I want to see other people’s versions. Plus, I feel very confident in my ability to draw characters well once. I cannot draw them the same from panel to panel.

Question 19: Is this the only book of these characters that people will ever see?

Well… There is room for a follow-up. I think If I did a follow up I would change the point of view to one of the supporting characters from this book.

Question 20: Can you share an excerpt?

Sure.

As always, I am carrying my two 6 D-Cell MagLites, Truth and Justice. These 2 Maglites are specially engraved along their aluminum bodies with their respective names. The trophy store was weirded out by the engraving request, and the aircraft aluminum wasn’t the easiest of materials to engrave, but they are my signature weapons. I don’t put them in my back holsters yet because I can’t sit in the driver’s seat while wearing them. I set them next to my helmet and face shield on the passenger seat and drive to a municipal lot that is pay to enter. I park the car and put on my custom face shield, plug in my police scanner earpiece, and put on my helmet. MagLite is ready. I jog off to the street where the Falcon stole my bad guy and look around…

There are 225 more pages of that if you want to read it.

To recap:

Aaaaaaagh I have a Kickstarter and it is not tearing up the charts

In fact, the needle has barely moved over the last few days

I need all of you to back it as soon as possible

The book is at least 225 pages of story

Come one you know you want to support my independent art.

Next week’s 20 Questions is going to be a doozy

Seriously people, share my Kickstarter and back it

I want to really make something super interesting here

And I truly do need everyone’s help on this

Seriously, back this project

Please, I’m begging you

Thanks

Have a great week

20 Questions Tuesday: 413 - Erica Schultz

Today I get the pleasure of asking comic book writer, Erica Schultz 20 Questions.  Erica is the writer for the new Xena: Warrior Princess comic book and a myriad of other books. Honestly, looking through her Comic Book DB file, she has been amazingly prolific in her creation of comic books.  She is an artist, writer, editor, publisher, co-creator of the critically acclaimed M3 comic book, etc… I personally became aware of Erica by following her on Twitter.  I had just finished the interview with Eric Palicki, and decided that I should pay some attention to the people he interacts with on social media, and Erica’s name came up in his feed pretty often.  So, I read some of her tweets and realized that I was an idiot for not having known who she was or following her on the twitters.

I would love to know more about her, so I asked if she would answer 20 of my Questions. She has graciously accepted my invitation so let’s not waste any more time. 

My previous career was as a cartographer. So I often think of stories in their spatial components. One of my favorite types of spatial story is the personal geographic story.  For example: I was born in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, and (as an Air Force brat) moved to Montgomery, Alabama on my 3rd birthday. The family moved to a suburb just the northeast of Birmingham, Alabama where I grew up. I moved up to Kent, Ohio to go to college, and followed my fiance to Columbus for grad school.  We have lived in Central Ohio since grad school. Question 1: What is your geographic story?

I was born in Teaneck, NJ (essentially the 6th suburb on New York City), a few miles off the George Washington Bridge. I went to college in Hartford, CT (University of Hartford), then came back to the area to get a job. I lived in Manhattan, Brooklyn, North NJ, and now I life in Central NJ with my husband.

New Jersey gets a bad wrap.  I think that is mainly because there are so many people in NYC and they are compelled to make fun of Hoboken and Newark. In driving through Central New Jersey I was surprised by how nice it really is. 

NJ does get a bad rap, but I think it’s because we’re filled with lots of chemical plants and swamps. It is what it is. We’d spend summers visiting our grandparents in the Bronx or Upstate NY, so you can find beauty or filth anywhere you look for it. I’ll try and be more positive, though.

Question 2: Is there something in New Jersey that you absolutely love that cannot be found elsewhere?

One thing NJ has that I love is the 24-hour diner. I’m sure other places have the typical 24-hour truck stop, but NJ has non-truck stop type diners that are open 24-hours. I spent many a late night of my youth in Louie’s Charcoal Pit drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes with Mike, the waiter from Cypress. My Best Friend and I would go there after working late nights on AP Psychology papers in high school.

Unfortunately, Louie’s closed down about two years ago and was replaced with a Walgreens. The other 24-hour diner in town (Cedar Lane Grille) also closed down several years ago. Sometimes when I go up to visit friends or family, I find the main street shops unrecognizable, but that’s life. It’s an organic ebb and flow of shops and experiences.

I definitely found that “you can’t go home again” feeling the last time I went down to where I grew up in Alabama.  There are so many things that look similar, but very few of the things I grew up with were the same. That being said, I do not get down to Alabama very much since my wife and I are an interracial couple with biracial kids so it had been about 10 years since I had been there.  It just is not that comfortable when everyone is staring at you because of your coupleship.

I’m sorry that your family faces that treatment. It’s easy to say, “Well, it’s the South,” but that garbage goes on everywhere and it’s unconscionable.

So, here comes my usual Question 3: Cake or pie? Which specific kind and why?

I don’t really have a sweet tooth. We weren’t allowed a lot of sugar as kids, so I guess my sweet taste buds never really developed. I’m not a big fan of cake, as it’s usually too sweet. I didn’t even really eat my wedding cake.

That said, if I had to choose, I’d probably say a good apple pie would suffice for me.

My mom decorated cakes as a side gig when I was growing up. I have eaten more cake than should be humanly possible, so I tend to side with pie as well.  I have definitely tended toward the pie spectrum since I eliminated gluten from my diet about 5 years ago. Gluten free baking is neither light nor fluffy.  Dense and crumbly is the norm in that baking sphere.

Question 4: Are there foods you have to avoid? If so, are they foods you wish you could have?

I do have several food allergies. I’m allergic to most fish, ginger, tree nuts, chickpeas, and beans. I’m not deathly allergic to any of them, but breaking out in hives and welts kind of puts a damper on dinner parties. Fun fact: True Texas chili has no beans in it.

I don’t drink alcohol and try to avoid foods that are cooked in alcohol. I know everyone says the alcohol burns off, but I can swear I can taste it.

I guess the only food I wish I could have is pesto. It’s usually made with pine nuts and that causes me to break out in hives. You can make it without pine nuts, but not many restaurants are making it to order, and it’s added to so many dishes that it can sometimes be difficult to avoid.

Having multiple food allergies is terrible. When my kiddos were born they both had multiple food allergies. It is very difficult to avoid multiple foods simultaneously. Most places don’t know how to service people with multiple allergies. We ended up cooking most our food because of those allergies.  Luckily both kids grew out of their respective food allergies (our youngest is still highly allergic to cats)… but now my wife and I have intolerances to different things. It is terrible.

Let’s start going in a different direction. Question 5: What was the first comic book you can remember reading?

I would read whatever my brother would bring home from the spinner racks. I specifically remember reading A Death in the Family by Starlin, Aparo, and DeCarlo and Uncanny X-Men by Claremont, Byrne, and Lee. Aside from the usual Spider-Man and such, A Death in the Family was a comic that I specifically remember reading. It was terrifying to see Jason Todd die.

Later I learned that DC editorial hadn’t decided to kill Jason, so there was a call in poll done. That seems like a kind of Milgram Experiment. Sure, it’s a fictional character, but people really wanted to see Jason dead. Yes, the Joker swung the crowbar, but everyone who called in to say, “DIE, JASON” is responsible!

A Death in the Family was a very disturbing exercise in crowdsourcing in a time when that took significantly more effort. I did love Aparo’s Batman. When I think of Batman, the first image that comes to mind is Aparo’s. Jason Todd was an annoying character, so I really think DC was “priming the pump” when they made the life or death be a poll. They wanted to kill him, but blame the fans.  Super cynical.

See, I find Damian more annoying now, even more so than Jason. He’s a smart-mouthed jerk who reminds me too much of my younger cousin, but that’s beside the point. I always thought Dick was the bravest, Jason was the boldest, Tim was the smartest, and Damian was the brashest.

I am not too keen on Damian myself. He seems a bit too much.  He is a good foil for Dick Grayson, but I too find him a bit annoying.

The first comic book I can remember reading was a Magnus: Robot Hunter issue that was in a Gold Key grab bag that the family got on some road-trip from Alabama to Florida. The family never really went on vacations, we more went to visit extended family, so I don’t remember the visits as much as I remember reading comic books in the backseat of the car. I also remember that Super Friends oversized book from the mid-70’s. Now the first comic I ever bought was a Captain America from 1979. 

Question 6: Did you have any family vacations when you were a kid?

We didn’t really have family vacations because we didn’t have a lot of money. Dad worked for the phone company, and he was striking every 2-3 years when the union contract was up, so he’d drive a cab or work construction even as mom was working full time as a nurse. Three kids need to eat. This was the late 70s/early to mid 80s. We did what we had to.

We did go to Disney World in 1989 for February break from school. It was my first time on an airplane. I remember my dad telling me to chew gum or the pressure of the plane would pop my eyeballs out of my sockets and they’d stick to the tray in front of me. That’s a very good example of my dad’s sense of humor.

Some of the “countries” in Epcot were still being worked on when we were there. I remember Figment, the purple dragon, Michael Jackson’s Captain Eo, and standing in line with a family from Ohio whose luggage was lost on their trip over. Mom was known to (and still does) talk to everyone and anyone when standing in line somewhere. I forget the ride we were waiting for.

Space Mountain was a big thing back then (I don’t know if it still is…I’ve never been back to Disney), and I remember my dad pointing to an empty aisle that was cordoned off next to the line we were waiting in and saying (I’m paraphrasing, I’m sure, in reality, it was expletive-laden) that it was for the kids who got scared so they could run out quickly. I didn’t get scared. I remember it was a fun time.

Space Mountain is the best, but it is not nearly as interesting when the lights are on. One of my friends told me of a time when the roller coaster stopped and they had to turn the lights on.  The mystique was gone for them. My family was able to make a trip to Disney when I was a kid as well, we may have been there at similar times, because the nations were still being built when we were there as well. My grandparents had a winter place in the Orlando area so we had the place to stay. Again, if we went on a trip, it was to visit family.

Question 7: What has your favorite vacation been as an adult (“Adult Vacation” sounds so icky)?

Again, we don’t take many vacations now because both my husband and I are freelancers. When you’re not working, you’re not getting paid. We did take a honeymoon, though (11 years after our wedding). We went to Block Island, Rhode Island for the week and it was really lovely. I love the beach and being near the water, so it was really beautiful. Also, it’s good to get out of your own surroundings for a bit to just be present someplace else.

Being a freelancer is a bit of a chore. The good thing is that you can go on as much vacation as you want. The bad thing is that if you are not working, you are not getting paid. My wife is a self-employed consultant of sorts, and when you are self-employed, you are always working. When you are not working, you are thinking about work that is not getting done, and when you are working you are also trying to chase the next job, because not  much is as important as the next job. It is a hard life.

Question 8: How many projects do you typically have going concurrently? 

Because I edit and consult on people’s work, as well as write, I can have several projects going on at once. Right now, I’m editing The Resurrected from Carnouche Productions, scripting two creator owned books, outlining a third, and working on pitches for several licensed properties. I’m usually scripting two to three books a month and editing or consulting on one to two books a month, so I’m pretty busy. Staying busy keeps me out of trouble.

I thought it would be something similar to that amount of projects.  I do not know anyone who does creative side freelance that is not working on at least three projects and putting together a handful of pitches simultaneously. When you work for yourself, you are always working. It honestly sounds a bit grueling. I don’t think I have the discipline to be able to work freelance. I am more than happy to have a 9 to 5 job that is relatively enjoyable. 

I can be a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to my creative endeavors, and sometimes have a difficult time walking away from a project because I know that I can tweak it just a bit more and make it ever so slightly better. Often this actually leads to me overworking something and making a mess out of something that was intrinsically better the what I over-worked. It is honestly something I have been working very hard on for a pretty good amount of time. Question 9: Do you ever feel completely “done” with a project, or do you always feel you could go back into a story and make it better?

When you’re working for a company like Marvel, DC, or Dynamite, they have specific schedules for books to go out, so your ability to tweak things ad infinitum isn’t really there. However, even if I’m working on a creator owned project, I tend to give myself deadlines so I don’t needle something into a mess.

One of the reasons why publishers want to see finished comics from someone is to prove that you followed through. Done is better than good. Personally, I prefer done AND good, but it’s better to get a draft finished than to continually tweak the same two scenes in a script.

I’m lucky where once I get an assignment, I’m pretty quick to put together a solid outline. For me, a good outline makes all the difference. The outline is my skeleton. The dialogue is the clothing. In between is the muscle and skin, but it all starts with an outline for me.

Deadlines do make it necessary to move on from one project to the next.

Question 10: Fill in the blanks. I find that I am mostly _______. Others find that I am mostly ______. (feel free to ask others if you want).

I find that I am mostly grumpy. Others find that I am mostly angry.

Or it could be written this way:
I find that I am mostly Bruce Banner. Others find that I am mostly Hulk.

I find that difficult to believe since you have been nothing but absolutely pleasant in our back and forth.

Question 11: So, have you ever Hulked out to help reinforce the reputation you feel you have acquired? If so, what did you gamma up for?

I was always a bit of a roughneck, having gotten into fights in high school and college. I’ve curbed that physical side as much as I can, and I think quitting drinking 9 years ago helped a great deal. Though I don’t go to AA meetings often, I try my best to live the program and abide by the tenets.

Because I’ve seen the worst in me, I try my best to really keep it under control (being mostly Banner), but I’ve had my blood pressure rise more than a few times recently. No specifics, obviously, but let’s just say that social media can make my eyes turn green.

Social media is both the best thing and the worst thing ever. I love the amount of connection it allows for me to directly contact people I respect and how it creates a sense of community without the need of a specific geography. I truly love that. I have some, what I would consider, strong friendships that have started with social media posts. Social media is what has allowed me to get in contact with you and for us to do this interview.

That being said, it also allows for less desirable people to congregate as well. It gives people a level of anonymity akin to them being a member of an angry mob. The ability for terrible people to gang up on people is abhorrent, and should have most people’s eyes turning green. I am fairly certain that I will get a certain level of backlash for merely being willing to interview you, but if a married, middle aged, middle class, CIS white male cannot handle backlash, who really can?

Question 12: When did you know that the comic book industry was the thing for you professionally? 

As a kid, I was always writing, drawing, designing, etc. I had wanted to be an architect, but thought I couldn’t hack the math. I was recruited by the US Navy the summer after my junior year in college, but was ultimately rejected for medical issues (does that make me Captain America?).

I had a nearly decades long career at a big New York ad agency as a copywriter and art director working on mostly pharmaceutical ads, so I was being “creative” in a sense, thinking outside the box which was situated in a bigger box.

Then I had a bad car accident in November of 2008, and I had a lot of time on my hands while I was healing from multiple injuries. I started writing a story that ultimately became M3. I didn’t know what I was going to do with that story, but it was just something I felt I had to write.

I didn’t think about M3 as a comic, or writing comics in general until I started working at a studio in New York while I was still healing from the car accident. I was out of work, and started working at the studio before I was fully healed because bills don’t wait. I’d wear my arm in a sling on the train to and from work, but work as a PhotoShop artist and animator during the day without it. We were working on the Astonishing X-Men motion comic “Gifted.” After that project, the studio head had comics work with DC and Marvel. That gave me the opportunity to see how comics were made from scripting to drawing to production to getting them out the door.

After I had a baseline of knowledge, I figured I could take some of the stories I had written throughout the years and adapt them for comics. The first one I did that with was M3 with the phenomenal artist, Vicente Alcázar. Then I just built on from there, working with other artists and putting together comics. Thus leads me to today.

That is truly an awesome story. I love that you did not immediately know that comic books were going to be a thing in your life, because that seems to be different from some of the other comic book writers that I have asked 20 Questions. The other writers and definitely the artists I have interviewed have wanted to be making comic books from when they were small children. Some have taken very circuitous routes to get there, but it was their intention from when they were children. I think this different point of view is helpful to create new stories for characters in comics. Comics need more voices and more points of view. If it is to survive as a medium, it need to diversify the stories it is telling.  

On to something different. Question 13: Do you have any superstitions or rituals? These do not need to be cliche superstitions, like black cat crossing your path (although they could be).  They also do not need to be eldritch rituals to bring forward the ancient ones. For example, when I played soccer in high school, I had a very specific “lucky” sequence and process of getting dressed and ready for a game. I considered it a “lucky” thing, but it was more like a ritual to get into the correct headspace for playing the game. Now, I am trying to build the ritual of meditation into my life to help with the jumble of thoughts that are in my head. 

When I played street hockey in high school and college, I had a specific way of taping my hands up. I also had a runic medallion that I put in my net (I was a goaltender). I have no idea where that went, but it was a silly thing I did.

As far as superstitions, yes, I’m a superstitious person. I touch wood so as to not jinx something. I have no problem with black cats, and ladders are more safety than superstition. I can’t avoid 13, as both my sister and brother in law have birthdays on the 13th of months, but I’ve been known to use white sage to cleanse a space of ill intentioned spirits.

I believe in ghosts. If you’ve ever had a pet, you’d know they see things we don’t. Just this morning, Simon (my cat) was staring beyond me at something that was imperceivable to me. Whatever it was, it held his attention and he was cautious of it. I was just oblivious, but knew enough to say, “Be good or be gone.”

Several friends of mine are avid Wiccan practitioners, so I’ll have my cards read, etc. Some people think that’s just a waste, but I think there’s something to it. Science can’t explain everything in this world (scientists just discovered the use for the appendix last year, and even that’s being discussed), so I believe in there being other forces, both good and bad, at work.

I have tried meditation, and, when it works, it works, but there are sometimes where my mind just cannot be quieted. I just try and take those moments and make them productive. I’ll write down whatever it is is going through my brain, even if it doesn’t make sense, just to ease the pressure on the valve. That usually helps.

I do agree that science cannot explain everything with the current demonstrable and replicable knowledge base that we currently have. There are too many unexplained things in the universe to credibly say that “we have it all figured out.” 

I would also like to be able to use “Be good or be gone” to greater effect in my daily life. There are more than a few interactions that I think could benefit from that kind of interaction. Actually, that brings up my next question. One of the best mottos or credos I have ever run into has been imparted to me by my mother-in-law.  One of her tenets is “Don’t let the fuckers get you down.” and those are definitely words to live by.  Question 14: Do you have any mottos/creeds to live by?

I may have to borrow your mother-in-law’s advice. Please thank her for me.

In AA there are a lot of sayings like, “Let go and let God,” “One Day at a Time,” and “Consider the Source,” that I tend to use in daily life.

One of my favorite college professors (who has since passed) once wrote in an email to me years after I graduated, “Read books. Fall in love. Dream a lot.” That’s been a motto I try to live by. My husband’s aunt, who was a take charge kinda gal, used to say, “Do what I say or get out of my way.” I tend to have that attitude when I feel projects are languishing. It’s not always conducive to teamwork, but the book’s gotta get out the door somehow.

I have enjoyed all of these mottos. The one I used to live by, prior to having kiddos, was “Funny over nice.” That one did not age well, because there needs to be more nice. Especially now, there needs to be more nice in the world. 

Question 15: I can only assume as a writer that you occasionally get writer’s block, so how do you push through that writer’s block? 

Everyone has their own remedy for writer’s block, and that’s to be expected. As writers have different methods of writing, they also have different methods of dealing with writer’s block. Many times I take a hot shower or go for a walk. Sometimes you focus so much on one thing that you can’t even see it anymore, you get snowblind. Doing something with a completely different objective helps. So going for a walk (trying not to get hit by any cars) or taking a hot shower (trying not to scald yourself and get soap in your eyes) helps.

I am in the process of editing a short novel with a friend of mine who is an editor, and there were many a time that writer’s block got in the way of my productivity. Going for a walk with soap in my eyes would have helped. 

Question 16: Are there any questions you were expecting that I have not asked yet?

Is this a trick question?

Not intended to be. I can only imagine how many times you have been asked “What’s it like to be a woman in the comic book industry?” or other vapid meaningless questions. Even when people do not want to be asked the “typical questions,” some still expect them. Sometimes when I do these 20 Questions people get snippy around Q16 or so if I have not asked them the question that they were expecting. I just like to cover my bases. 

Question 17: Who is your favorite comic book character? and what comic book character would you most want to write? If these are not the same character, why is that? 

I think if I had to pick a favorite, it’d be Rogue. I’ll admit I’m jealous that Kelly Thompson gets to write her for Mr. & Mrs. X, but I’m enjoying it, so shame on me for the jealousy.

I also love Hawkgirl and was fortunate to write a story for her with Sonny Liew. DC published 8 pages, but Sonny and I are hopeful to finish the miniseries. I’m really proud of the Daredevil annual starring Misty Knight that came out this week. Marcio Takara and Marcelo Maiolo knocked the art out of the park.

Other characters I’d like to write are Moon Knight, Captain America, Winter Soldier, Beta Ray Bill, Beast, Hellboy, Bluebird, Zatanna, Nightwing, Red Sonja…

To be honest, I want to write whatever I have the opportunity to write, whether I’m familiar with the character or not. I’ll make myself familiar with the character and find something I like about them to make the writing speak to me and (hopefully) readers.

I would pay really good money for your take on Beta Ray Bill. You hear that, Marvel? Really. Good. Money.

Now is when I get nervous in these 20 Questions. It is time to turn the tables.  Question 18: Are there any questions you want to ask me?

Sure…My car is having trouble starting. Do you think it’s the battery, the starter, or the alternator?

Anytime I have had starting issues with my car it has been the alternator.  It has rarely, if ever, been the starter, which one would think would be the problem with a car that is having issues starting just because of the name alone. Battery is easy to triage, if the car can be jumped, it is probably the battery.

We found out it was the battery. Phew!

Question 19: What are you taking from these 20 Questions that you did not bring with you? 

Is this like when you picnic on the beach, you’re supposed to take all the stuff you brought with you back home with you? You’ve asked some thoughtful questions, so I guess what my takeaway is that your aim is to have a more thought-provoking conversation rather than the typical, superficial interview. Right? Wrong?

That is the goal. While trying to cover some of the more typical stuff (what would you like to write? how did you get into comics? cake or pie? You know, the usual) I also like to get more in depth about how you are who you are. I really enjoy this format because I really feel like I get to know the person I am asking the questions more than just a more targeted interview. I do enjoy very targeted interviews, I just like the non sequiturs that this format generates. 

Question 20: What's next?  Be as vague or as specific, as concrete or philosophical, and as near term or long term as you would like.

What’s next, what’s next…well, my run on Xena goes until November. Twelve Devils Dancing’s trade paperback comes out on Halloween, with an incredible cover by legendary artist, Bill Sienkiewicz (New Mutants). I’m working on two creator-owned books with two terrific artists, Emily Pearson (The Wilds) and Liana Kangas (Where We Live), with Yissel Ayala (Clean Room) doing costume designs for those two books.

I’ll be at Keystone Comic Con (Table E1) in Philly September 14th through the 16th, and New York Comic Con (Table G22) in New York City October 4th through the 8th.

That’s about it for right now. : )

Thank you so much for taking time to answer 20 Questions.  I have really enjoyed my time with you. It is always great after these interviews are over because now, whenever I see your name, I think, “Hey, I know her.” 

Everyone should read Erica’s books (most links can be found on her website), everyone should follow her on the Twitters and the instagrams. Seriously though, everyone should seriously buy her books though. Buy her books. If you see Erica in the wild and you read this interview, remember she is more likely grumpy than how you are most likely perceiving her as angry.

To recap:
That was wonderful
Erica is wonderful
Haters gonna hate
Haters are dumb in this instance
I had to fix a leaky spigot 2 nights ago
It was 2 am and the leak disturbed some ground nesting bees
It was late and I got stung 4 times
It was awful
No one like ground bees
Ground bees are dumb as well
I accidentally ordered “scallops in a garlic sauce” instead of “garlic shrimp” from my favorite hole in the wall Chinese place
Scallops are about as dumb as ground bees
The novel is getting close to Kickstarter-able
That is scary as shit
I have 12 of 20 sequential pages accounted for
and about 15 of 24 character sketches
Daunting!
Have a great week everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 412 - Movie Remakes... and I Got Hit by a Bus

A few weeks ago I watched 1986’s cult classic “The Highlander.”  “There can be only one” really should refer to the fact that this movie should never had sequels.  The bones of the story are really strong. The historic pieces could use some tightening, and the “modern day police procedural” could use some tightening. The actors are acting their hearts out.  Clancy Brown is magnificent as the Kurgan. The special effects are flat out terrible, and the make-up is, in all honesty, terrible… seriously flawed. Of the movies that I have seen being remade, I think the Highlander is ripe for the pickings.  

That made me ask the question “Movies: remakes‽”  Thanks this week go to Bruce, Steve, Julie, Bill, Van, Dave, and Matt.  Let’s get to the questions.

1. Best and worst remake of "7 Samurai"?
Best: The Magnificent Seven
Worst: Battle Beyond the Stars

2. Are remakes better if they are closer to the previous (well known) movie or closer to the book? Examples of each?
I can not necessarily think of specific examples that I have actually watched.  The Last Man on Earth, Omega Man, and I am Legend come to mind as potential movies to answer this question. That being said, I would say that the only true remakes are “I am Legend” and “I am Legend.”

3. Is there anything you think should be off limits - the original is so good that a remake should never be considered?
I think remaking already good movies is one of the problems.  It seemed to be more of a thing in the 90’s and early 00’s more than now.  The trend now is to revisit movies with 25/30 year old sequels.

4. Anything that deserves or really needs a remake - due to age, tech advances, poor script, bad acting, or just not a good production?
I say Highlander, as I stated above.

5. Favorite remake?
True Grit.  That was very well put together. 3:10 to Yuma is also pretty well made.  Maybe only westerns can be remade?

6. Least favorite remake?
Psycho… Vince Vaughn brought nothing of his own to that movie.  It was basically a film school exercise to copy a movie scene you liked. I think Vince thought the assignment was to copy a movie or scene you liked and then chose "movie."

7. True Grit - the new one or the old one?
New one. John Wayne is not a good actor. Come at me

8. Should the Goonies be remade?
No.  The Goonies is a an amazingly 80’s movie and needs to be an 80’s movie. If they “re-made” it, they need to completely reskin it like people “remake” the 7 Samrai. 

9. Is there any Grace to be extended for the remake of Get Carter?
Nope. That was the Michael Cain to Sylvester Stallone , right? No… no grace whatsoever.

10. Is it a "remake" of a movie, if both movies adapt the same book? (ie: The Thing From Another World vs Carpenter's The Thing.)
Those are not remakes (unless they use the same name a la “I am Legend.”) they are more like just different adaptations. 

11. Should they reboot “The Good the Bad and the Ugly?” Caveat- if your answer is yes, explain why you’re wrong.
THEY can remake whatever they want.  I think they could soft reboot it as a different name. I am not sure why anyone would want to remake/reboot such a popular franchise.

12. Is it too early to remake the Last Jedi?
There is no need to.  I am not sure why everyone is unhappy with that movie. I could go into my reasoning, but no one’s opinion on this movie seems to be movable.

Errrrrt /record scratch!

So, things took a weird turn last week and I am scrapping the last 8 movie questions and changing the topic to “I Got Hit by a Bus”

13. So, what out of the usual happened yesterday on Tuesday of last week when you were going to post this?
I got hit by one of our transit authority’s busses.  I was in a right turn lane and the bus drifted over into my lane as they were going straight through the intersection.

14. Are you okay?
I am fine. It was a low speed, light contact crash. I am fine. No injuries.  Not even any PTSD associated with seeing buses. I was tired for about a day because of the adrenaline crash and my shoulders were a little sore, but other than that, I was fine.

15. Weren’t you just pissed when it happened? Were you angry at the bus driver for hitting you?
I was frustrated by the time sink of being hit and filling out forms and such. I really feel bad for the driver of the bus, because we have all had bad days at work. The driver’s bad day ended up messing with mine.  When I have a bad day, cars are not damaged.

16. What was the most frustrating issue?
It took the police 4 hours to come out to fill out the accident report. It took them long enough that police dispatch called me back on my cell to tell me they had not forgotten about me. I was stuck on the side of the road for 4 hours waiting… this kept me from getting to the voting booth for the central Ohio special election. 

17. You got hit by a bus, did anyone have to take over your work because that is what is supposed to happen “if he gets hit by a bus…”?
Nope, I still have as much work to do, and now I have to deal with an actual insurance claim to boot.

18. Seriously? You were hit by a bus?
Yes, seriously. I had a car around me for safety reasons, but I was indeed hit by a bus. We were both going relatively slow and in the same general direction so, as “being hit by a bus” goes, it was relatively safe. That being said, the contact happened on my car where three separate car components come together (front quarter panel, front bumper, and hood) so the cost of the fix is not going to be trivial.

19. Since the bus hit you, shouldn’t their insurance be paying for it?
Welll… it should, however, from what I understand, the transit authority here is considered a “sovereign entity” which changes how insurance works. I think it is very akin to my being hit by someone without insurance. So, I have no idea how the financials will work out in the end.

20. So what’s next?
Well… waiting to get the insurance adjuster to see the minivan and get the repairs started. 

To recap:
I went on a writing retreat this weekend
One of my characters is all over the place
He’s angry one time (for no apparent reason)
He’s just plain weird another time
He’s affable another time
It really is problematic
That is what I am going to focus on now
Getting his voice consistent is task 2
Task 1 is re-working the final scenes
I unintentionally left details out
It is amazing how a new person reading something can make it better
Back to "getting hit by a bus aftermath": We are renting a 2007 minivan in the place of our 2015 minivan
It is not the greatest
Sorry the post is late, but I did get hit by a bus
Have a great week

20 Questions Tuesday: 411 - Cryptids

Trying to get back on this weekly posting horse, but this horse don’t want a rider. Today is post 411… I  gots the information, baby! Today you will get a post, and it will be a glorious post because it is about a topic that I find endlessly fascinating.

Ever since I was a little kid, I have loved the concept of cryptids and the whole idea of cryptozoology.  Bigfoot, Yeti, Nessie, Champ, Mokele-Mbembe, El Chupacabra, and bunches more. I have been reading about these concepts since I was able to read. There is tons about the paranormal that I love, but I always find myself reading about ape-men/man-apes in Asia, Borneo, the Kamchatka Plains, etc… 

Thanks this week goes to Lsig, Nadolny, Baroody (I need to email you about something, please try to remind me), Nicole, Dave Myers (I need to email you as well), Bruce, Gavin (MY BOSS!  YIKES!), Alesha, Tues and some other guy.  Lots of questioners means lots of good questions.

Let’s do this!

1. Is it true that yetis have complicated sibling relationships?
Once there was strife between a yeti and myself in a previous version of my blogging, but that has sorted itself out.

2. If you were able to hunt one, without societal repercussions or guilt, which would be the most enjoyable?
The Ghost Deer. It would basically be like deer hunting, or sleeping in a hammock in a tree.

2a. f you were able to date one, without societal repercussions or guilt, which would be the most enjoyable?
Well… that is a rough question.  I do not think many of them at all would be good to spend time with.  Okay, let’s go with Nessie.  I’d make that plesiosaur into a please-me-o-saur, if you know what I mean? Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge. A wink’s as good a nudge to a blind bat, if you know what I mean.  This kind of love was sort of covered in Shape of Water though, so it is a bit derivative. 

3. Do you believe these Cryptids are actual physical animals we have yet to discover ? or do you believe that they are manifestations of people's minds, made real? Tulpas, for lack of a better term, I guess that leave some physical/mental impression behind? and how can a person tell the difference?
He’s an interesting fact: I, for the life of me, thought the “thought form” word was a different definition of the word “torpor,” but that is because my believer podcast is Mysterious Universe and is done by two Aussies with great Aussie accents.  They must be saying “tulpa” and I am mistaking it for an Assie “torpor.”  To answer your question… sometimes they are tulpas, and it really doesn’t matter if the cryptid is a thought-form made real, because that is just as important (if not more important) of a find. 

4. Which of these is most likely to exist?
Yetis

5. Which cryptids do you think are most likely to actually be out there?
The Kraken

6.  Cryptid most likely to be discovered?
Bigfoot. 

7. Is the Skunk Ape related to Grape Ape?
Nope, the Skunk Ape is a swamp version of a Big-Foot that happens to stink a bunch.  Grape Ape is a Hanna-Barbera cartoon character.

8. Where is the jackalope love? Why isn’t the jackalope on this list? Are you agin’ jackalopes?
If I can buy a stuffed version in a Cracker Barrel store… that cryptid gets no love.

9. If Sasquatch was discovered today, what are the chances he’s a Trump supporter?
Ze-ro.  Sasquatch are like the ultimate environmentalists.  They have a zero carbon footprint and all of their habitats are LEED Certified Platinum.

10. As vast as our oceans are and so much of them unexplored, can The Meg (megalodon) or squid of kraken size be out there?
There is better possibility of a Kraken than a Megalodon (regardless of the movie releasing soon).

11. Has there been a rise in crytpid sightings that corresponds to better and better special effects in movies?
Nope, I think as technology has gotten better, people are realizing that what they thought they saw was a stick.

12. How hokey was the original zapruder (Patterson gimlin) Bigfoot film?
It was not really hokey at all. It stood the test of time for a loong time before people accepted it’s hoaxness. 

13. How would you classify cryptids for one who is not versed in the attributes of said creatures?
I would use what one of the cryptid wikis use. Humanoids, Dinosaurs and Pterosaurs, Plants, Dragons and Dragonoids, and Carnivores.

14. You studiously seem to avoid mentioning Sasquatch. Why is that?
Because the sasquatch is a revered being in some people’s religions and belief systems. The Skunk Ape, Orang Pendak, Amok, Skunk Ape, Bigfoot, and Yetis are not.

15. With how good modern photo and video manipulation is, do you think there will ever be controversial evidence of a cryptid without a corpse to physically touch?
There will have to be a body that can be forensically tested by multiple testing centers.  This is not like running across the mountain gorilla in the 1890’s.

16. It is said that the people who want paranormal things to be true the absolute most are the skeptics, it is just that their burden of proof is much higher than believers.  How do you feel about that statement?
I feel ambivalent about this statement.

17. What are the plurals for some of the cryptids, which ones are singular entities and which are a type of creature that there may be more of?
Bigfeet, Los Chupacabras? That kind of thing? Most of the cryptids, other than named lake monsters (I’m looking at you Nessie… aw yeah, Nessie, hey gurl.  Oh, and Champ as well. Sup, Champ?)

18. Why do so many cryptids have “snake” or “snake-like” associated with them?
Most do not, I think this may be a word that you hone in on to pay attention to when it comes up.

19. Did you know about the Appalachian Black Panther? There here in Ohio, yo.
It is also known as the Ghost Panther…. But I like this Appalachian Black Panther better.

20. The Kraken is sort-of the best cryptid though, right?
Of course… because squids and octopuses… they’s aliens.

To recap:
Not much to recap today
Little Man is now 15
I started this thing when he was about 18 months old
Here is the first pic I ever posted of him at 18 months old

I am getting old
That’s it for the recap
If you want to be interviewed, hit me up and I will start asking questions
Have a great week everyone

Man, it has been a while since I played in Photoshop... that felt good

20 Questions Tuesday: 410 - Ask Me Anything

So, I have been gone for a bit.  Hopefully not forgotten.  I found myself uninterested in answering peoples questions or in coming up with interesting topics and incapable of finding people who wanted me to ask them 20 Questions.  I am always looking for people who are willing to answer 20 Questions.  Hit me up through the contact page or in the comments.

Anyway… to get everyone caught up in the life Chez 20 Questions, I had sinus surgery, and can now breath through my nose EVEN WHEN I AM STUFFED UP. Blowing my nose is actually effective for the first time in my life.  (sometimes a bit too effective... there have been... things... unidentifiable things being released post op) Thank you sinus surgery. We are leasing a horse for our delightful little girl now because she is a rider extraordinaire. Little Man is done with long course swim for the year and now starting up conditioning practice for high school cross country. 

Today’s post is an “Ask me Anything” post, so Thanks to Bruce, Bob, and Susan for the questions.  

1. Favorite or most listened to radio stations.
I do not listen to the radio.  I listen to a metric shit ton of podcasts though. So, there is that. 
I would suggest listening to 99% Invisible, if you are not already.

2. What was the first app you put on your phone?
Google Maps.

3. Where did you see yourself 10 years ago?
In a job that was going nowhere doing tasks that were really becoming repetitive and less and less what I wanted to do.

4. Favorite 20 Questions interview.
Other than my lovely wife, I would say Greg Behrendt’s from long long ago.

5. Any restaurant recommendations?
Most recently? Tomatillo’s off of OH 161 in Linworth and the gluten free pizza from Morone’s off of Bethel Road.  It was surprisingly good GF pizza. When I was at that job 10 years ago, I would go there and eat their regular pizza buffet with some coworker friends. 

6. How many drugs have you done?
Well, there are a handful of antibiotics and some other prescriptions. I have never really done any illicit drugs.  I am really rather boring in that regard.

7. What are you on right now?
A anti-depressant, a blood pressure medicine, a ant-acid, and a handful of vitamins and such.

8. When was your first murder? 
It is next week.  Sleep well, Bob.

9. How many partners have you cheated on?
None.

10. Favorite dictator?
Augustus Caesar

11. Why did you light your neighbors mailbox on fire that one time?
There was a spider in it. It had to be cleansed with fire. They understood.

12.  Who is your daddy and what does he do?!
His name is Roger and he is retired.

13. What percent do you take when laundering money?
10% straight off the top.

14. Why are your drugs so expensive?
I live in the US and our healthcare system is broken. If I did not have insurance I am pretty sure I would not be able to afford the ones I am on.

15. Why do you own a tiger?
What else can I mate with a lion to make a liger?

16. If you were a Wonder Twin, what form would you take? 
Well, if you are specifically asking for what “form” I would take, you are clearly asking what type of water thingy I would be.  Ice Sled all the way.

17. What is your favorite flavor of watermelon?
Ummm.. watermelon.

18. Why should YOU be abducted by aliens?
I am the funny?

19. Why?
Why not?

20. Are you glad you are back to blogging?
Time will tell.

To recap:
This one took 2 weeks to produce
I am out of the practice
Super out of practice
Personally, I blame Bob
Last year at this time the fam was in Alaska
I was a great trip
The Lovely Wife is in New Mexico this week
So, it is solo parent time for little old me
Nothing but pizza and sundaes on the menu for the kids this week
Tonight I made chicken and mozzarella ravioli in marinara with ricotta cheese for one of the kiddos
I made herbed gnocchi with chicken in light olive oil sauce for the other
I cannot have the glutens so I had Peanut Butter Cap’n Crunch because I cannot handling cooking a third meal tonight
I am not a restaurant
I am not really sure why I give these guys a menu to choose from
They never pick the same thing
Tomorrow night is pesto chicken with some kind of potato dish thingy
Greg Behrendt has a new book out today... you should get it
Getting back into the flow of this is going to take some effort
Trying to line up some interviews, but they are getting harder to find
Leave a comment if you want to do an interview
I also need to get back to drawing
And I need to finish my book
I have a bunch of shit to do
Have a great week everyone
 

20 Questions Tuesday: 408 - Susan McGowan

This week I get the wonderful opportunity to ask an actual friend of mine 20 Questions.  What?!? Yes, I have actual friends who will actually share enough time with me (at least digitally) to answer my inane 20 Questions.  So let’s explore 20 Questions with one of my more hilarious co-workers who is an absolute delight, Susan McGowan.  I met Susan earlier this year when she started working at the same place of employment as myself.  It turns out that her daughter and my daughter have horse riding lessons at the same barn and sometimes at the same time and in the same class.  Oh, and she and I know a surprising amount of the same people from at least 4 different pockets of connections. It really is surprising that we only met this year.  

Editor’s note: Susan, over the course of this interview (which only took a few weeks), has had two of her beloved pets “cross the rainbow bridge” (that’s one of the pet euphemisms about pets dying, right?). Anyway, she lost two furry companions in the span of a week and a half.  I think it ended up being about 10 days total between pet deaths.  That is not much time between pets dying, and incredibly emotionally hard to deal with while full-time jobbing and parenting. I know their passing was hard on her. Needless to say this post is dedicated to those two four-legged members of her family. So everyone, pour some out for Murphy Seidel Herriott-McGowan (cat of the month for an untold number of  months running) and Bartleby Herriott-McGowan (her mix Shar-Pei in the hizzay).

Bartleby and Murphy sharing a couch

So without further ado… 20 Questions with Susan McGowan.

Many people know this little preamble, because I have been doing this for years…. And question one is always the same, but I get new readers and I get people who only read one of these and then drift off to be non-readers, so bear with me faithful readers and welcome aboard new people. 

Anyhoo… my professional life started with selling Nordictracks at a mall, but that doesn’t really mean anything.  I just did not want to write that my professional life began with making maps and then to  get a nasty email from David Metzger the manager of Nordictrack in the Riverchase Galleria Mall.  I know he is watching… he is always watching… and waiting....

Umm… where was I? Oh, yes. My real career began with making maps in 1997.  I have always loved stories told through the concept of place.  For me, my personal geographic story is that I was born outside of Oklahoma City, moved to Montgomery, Alabama when I was super young, moved up to Birmingham, Alabama for the rest of my childhood, and then moved off to college in Kent, Ohio.  I followed my fiance to Columbus, Ohio for grad school and marriage and have been in the Columbus area for more than 20 years now.  We have settled in Worthington, Ohio (which is an edge city around Columbus, that straddles the I-270 outerbelt).  Question 1: What is your geographic story?

The short version of my geographic story is uninspiring--I’ve lived in Ohio my entire life, moving from Cleveland to Wooster for undergrad, then Columbus for grad school. I intended to move to Scotland after that, but I took a job to save up some money, and, like a comfy couch, Columbus sucked me in. Even though I’ve lived here for 22 years, it still feels temporary. Home might always be Cleveland Heights. If I’m very still, I can feel the way it breathes green in the summer and picture some carved corner. I think of Columbus from an aerial view primarily, but Cleveland is a collection of architectural details, old and filthy and beautiful--an American thatched roof, an angel draped over a gravestone, an iron bridge, a cracking tower. I also have roots in Chautauqua, NY, although I’ve never lived there. I grew up spending summers there, got married there, scattered my mother’s ashes there. My dad currently has a little place there, but he will be selling it next fall, around the same time he moves out of Cleveland Heights. I’m not sure where home will be then. 

It is an interesting thing when what was home is now, no longer home. That happened for me when I moved away from Alabama.  The place only holds memories for me, especially after my parents moved out of my childhood home.  The 2 things that killed any and all love for Alabama was the death of my childhood cat in my super-senior year of college, and my parents moving out of my childhood home. The place just is not “home” anymore. You will find a place to call home. It takes time and can be emotionally difficult, but you will find that, and my bet is that it matches up with where you will have the bulk of your memories with your kids.

You seem to not be sheltered like many people who have only lived in (pretty much)  one place. Question 2: Do you travel much and what is the furthest from Ohio you have traveled?

I grew up traveling and it’s something I want to pass along to my children. My dad traveled a lot for his job and my mother loved to travel, so if a trip fell during a school break or in the summer, we would go with him. If it was within the US, he’d add a few days on either side, and we’d drive. As a kid, I had winter friends (from school) and summer friends (kids I befriended for a few days in hotel pools, kids whose parents attended the same lighting conferences year after year). As a June birthday, I had as many birthdays on the road (7th picnicking by a stream in the Blue Ridge, 9th in an apartment in DC, 15th in Venice) as I did at home. I complained about that a lot and finally my parents agreed we’d try to be home for a party every other year. That seems so dumb now, but as a kid it felt like the Worst Thing Ever.

By the time I left home, I’d visited 48 states and three continents. I’ve been fortunate to have a best friend who traveled with me for a bit, and then my husband. Having kids has made it harder and more expensive. We persevered with Kid 1, taking her to Iceland and Germany when she was three and I was 6 months pregnant with Kid 2--and she was such a trooper. But Kid 2 is a different beast; we’ve traveled cross country with him, but haven’t ventured overseas. It’s something that kind of kills me. 

The furthest from Ohio I’ve been is Israel (twice) and Ghana. I went to Israel once with my youth group in high school, during my religious phase, and as a then-Christian among Christians, it felt like it could be home. The second time, I was there through Journey of Conscience, an organized visit to several of the death camps in Eastern Europe. I was invited as sort of the Poet-in-Residence and one of only two non-Jews on the trip. After the rage and unrelenting sadness at the Holocaust sites, my travelmates got off the little prop plane that had taken us from Warsaw to Tel Aviv and kissed the ground. I felt like I was at a friend’s house for the holidays, where their mom might give me a hug in welcome, but I was still just a guest.

I went to Ghana because my stepsister was a math teacher in a little village there for Peace Corps. Instead of bringing her back to the US for Christmas, my family rented a palazzo in Sicily for a week and she met us there. Since I was already halfway around the world, my best friend* and I decided to return with her to Ghana, figuring it would never be easier than having my stepsister to act as a guide and deal with logistics for us. We flew in and out of Accra, then traveled to her village for a few days. We covered a lot of ground on that trip—not just mileage-wise, but going from celebrating New Years’ with fireworks in a medieval square and drinking limoncello to riding a tro-tro for 10 hours with 15 strangers in a sweaty crush.

*I was dating my now-husband at that point, but I didn’t invite him to join us on this amazing trip, because we were never going to last, something he likes to bring up to this day. 

Well, I think you may have mis-stated earlier.  You have been to 4 continents, not merely 3.  You have graced North America, Europe, Africa, and Asia.  You’ll need to update that in your travel log. You are only 3 away from collecting the set.  I, sadly, have only been to a measly 2 continents, but once we kick the kids out of the house…  Nothing. But. Travel!

    That’s funny; I always put Israel in Africa, but the Internet says you’re right. 

Question 3: Cake or pie? Which specific kind and why?

Totally pie. If you match random pie vs random cake, 90% of the time, pie will be the victor. Pie comes with pi puns and a day dedicated to celebrating it; cake makes you choose between cake or death and we all know the cake is a lie. As for specifics, the #1 pie is sour cream peach. Somewhere below that, in vaguely ranked order: pecan, butterscotch, blueberry, bumbleberry, chess, and sweet potato. 

Of course, the question itself is flawed, because sticky toffee pudding is neither cake nor pie and is the best dessert on earth. 

Sticky toffee pudding was not in the question, because the question was not “What’s your favorite dessert-like food?” ugh… Do you like cats or dogs? I like cats more, but sugar gliders are the best. And sweet potato pie is an affront to humanity because it tries to disguise itself as pumpkin pie.  Sweet potatoes are the devil’s food, but not like “devil’s food cake” devil’s food, but like the “made of lies and tormented dreams” devil’s food.

Question 4: What do you consider to be the “made from lies and tormented dreams” devil’s food?

You have the “devil’s weed”, which is cilantro, but anti-cilantro rants are boring--it’s like the Mac/PC debate that geeks-in-training like to drag you into. I despise avocados--why would anyone willing eat swamp-flavored butter? But--and maybe it’s the phrasing that confuses me, but what’s really made of lies is yogurt. Is it a dessert? A cheese? “Hey, I’m like healthy ice cream! Good people eat me! I’m breakfast-ready pudding!” Those are the devil’s lies. Yogurt is a grave disappointment 99% of the time. Actually, 100% of the time. The other 1% is when you mistakenly eat pudding and think “this is the best damn yogurt ever”. 

Cilantro is a loved or hated item, it is not a surprising selection at all.  People who love it, want it on everything, while people who hate it, hate people who love it. Also, I think I will start referring to avocados as “swamp butters” from now on. This yogurt thing surprises me, because yogurt is so unusually innocuous. Who hates beige? I am sure people do, but it beige is so blah, which is what yogurt is, beigy blah.  

Again, I may have just been misconstruing your language about “made of lies and tormented dreams”, but that’s why yogurt makes the list. It’s made of lies. 

I know for a fact that you have held some odd jobs (while not being Odd Job from the Bond films).  So, I started into the professional world by selling NordicTrack exercise equipment in mall retail stores for most of my undergrad years, then I worked at Barnes & Noble for a bit, then I was a graduate assistant in the Department of Geography teaching GIS and cartography labs, from there I went to a local engineering architecture firm as a transportation planning cartographer, then I became the GIS technician for the Department of Geotechnical Engineering for the Ohio Department of Transportation.  From there I switched careers entirely and went into user experience design as an interaction designer.  Question 5: What is your professional journey?

My first non-babysitting job was working retail at an antiques shop where I did table displays of Staffordshire figurines and dusted a lot. Then, I apprenticed to a rare book dealer. I spent one summer temping at Office Max world headquarters, blacking numbers out of reports with Sharpies, like the guy in Catch-22. In grad school, I taught English 101 and beginning poetry workshops and worked as a research assistant for David Citino. 

After I graduated, I was hired as a researcher to develop content for an educational computer game company. After a few months, my boss asked if I wanted to learn to code. Three months later, I made my first game--Magnificent Marlena’s Mind-Bending Magic Show, a sequence game. I loved this job--storyboarding, coding, troubleshooting, plus I did most of the female voices in our games. I truly believe learning to code changed my life. 

When the company started going under, I left to go to library school and worked as a writer for the International Dark-Sky Association, a non-profit dedicated to reducing light pollution. During that time, I took on additional freelance writing, editing, and research gigs. I published a few magazine articles and had a nice stretch with the Armchair Reader series, contributing to Weird, Scary, and Unusual and a few others. I realized that I was making more as a writer than I would as a librarian, so I dropped out of school. A friend who worked for a healthcare marketing agency reached out, asking if I had ever done digital QC. I said I’d give it a try, and the 6 hours a week turned into full time. I created the processes, the team grew to ten people--it was thriving, but I hated it. 

During this time, I started hearing about UX. I found a few people at the agency who were interested in it as well, and through good fortune and kindness, I got a mentor and a workstream and started the UX team at the agency with a handful of people. The agency decided it didn’t want to support UX work, so it was time to leave. I moved to an edtech startup at Ohio State’s College of Education as the Director of Product and User Experience. I was there for three glorious years, then the funding was pulled and the company went under. From there, I came to the UX team at my current employer, where I met you. 

That is a pretty interesting list of jobbies.  I had not realized how much the English language was your playground.  I just thought you might be kind of verbose, but you are officially verbose.  Well done.

Since you are an English aficionado, and since I like me some language arts. Question 6: What is one word in the English language that you feel is getting short shrift? What word is not being used enough and is ready for a resurgence?

I don’t know how to answer this--that’s like asking me to pick a favorite child. How could anyone choose between mirepoix and fungible? Acanthopterygian and flibbertigibbet? Frangipane and salacious? Picking a word is like wandering through a fabric store--a rush of textures and colors. Words should feel good in the mouth, be a bit of a surprise for the listener and the user, and delight the ear. 

For my job at the game company, my first assignment was to write a 10,000-word dictionary and it was so much fun. I combed through other dictionaries to find words, then wrote my own definitions to avoid copyright infringement. The president of the company was a word person too, so we met for three hours every day to go over the previous day’s words--good gravy, how we argued over the minutiae of definitions. There are some perfectly good words, such as hirsute and parka that didn’t make it into our database because neither of us would budge*. 

There is a wonderful children’s book called Ounce, Dice, Trice that is the closest thing I’ve found to being in my brain, the way it savors and plays with words. The kindest thing you could do for a budding poet in your life is to keep them far away from this book and tell them to develop some useful skills, otherwise, they will be forever lost. 

---

*He was incredibly wrong on both counts, however, and I’m still quite bitter. Almost as bitter as the time my 3rd-grade class played Scattergories and didn’t believe that indigo was a real color, the little heathens. Words matter, people. Words matter.

---

...okay.  I was just thinking that “whilst” should be used more.  This is clearly a topic that you feel strongly about.  I know what mirepoix, fungible, frangipane, salacious, hirsute and parka mean, but I am at a loss for acanthopterygian, and think I know what flibbertigibbet means but did not know that it was a recognized word in the English language.  

Acanthopterygian means descriptive of a spiny-finned fish, such as a bass or perch. TMYK.

TMYK

Question 7: Do you think that the English language can rightfully claim words such as salsa and mirepoix as its own even though those words belong to a different language?

Absolutely. I love English for its gelatinous cube-like quality of picking up and holding anything in its path--in this case, great words from other languages. I don’t think we’d be able to make or eat salsa if we called it something else. The Anglo-Saxons ate onions, but they didn’t know about tomatoes or the “demon weed”, so we’d be looking to another language anyway. It might be called relish or chutney, but both of those stem from India, so why is borrowing from Hindi, but not Spanish or French? Pretty much, unless we’re talking about livestock, root vegetables, or war, we’re going to borrow words. It seems nicer to keep them with some semblance of their original pronunciation. Though give it a few centuries and I’m sure we’ll manage to turn mirepoix into something like “murrypoy”. 

Dungeons and Dragons' Gelatinous Cube

+2 to Int for use of gelatinous cube, but sadly -1 to Cha.  Even though geeky things are “in” right now, overly deep cuts into geeky things are still surprisingly negatively geeky. I don’t write the rules, I just enforce them (which gives me a -2 Cha modifier to old skool geeks).  Also, “murrypoy” sounds like a name and is not any easier to say than “mirepoix.” If Americans have anything to say about it, the linguistic shift will be from “mirepoix” to “merpo” or something else that sounds less sophisticated. Americans can be soooo un-sophisticated. 

I didn’t know what Cha meant, but my husband stepped into the room, wearing +1 flannel armor and immediately got a -3 to his Cha by knowing the answer, but he’s used to it. 

Question 8: How many animals do you have in your household?

Currently, not counting children, we have four. Bartleby the shar pei butler dog and then three cats: Murph the Cat (not to be confused with our late Murph the Dog, and winner of Cat of the Month for 200+ months!), Rory the Round, and Wunk (née Duncan) the Dim. The cats are all orange by royal fiat. 

That is a bunch of wee beasties in the house. When my wife and I were married (over 20 years ago now… how the hell did that happen??!? {that’s not the question, do not answer that question!!!}), we immediately got 2 cats.  They were our marriage cats.  Lenny was a Russian Blue, and Señor Don Gato (was a cat, meow meow meow) was a solid black lump of milk cap fetching love. Señor Don Gato’s name eventually truncated to just Señor.  Señor then became Señor Von Beanor, and eventually just to Bean. Question 9: How did Duncan’s”regal Scottish king’s name devolve into the less regal “Wunk?” 

First, let me disabuse you of how regal poor Duncan’s name is. At the time my daughter named him, she was very much into the dreadful show “Total Drama Island” on which the character Duncan is a villainous, scheming emo-punk. I requested that whatever we named the cat have Scottish flavor, so that’s what she chose. Duncan branched into Dunk, Punk, and Punkin, but he is not smart, and we quickly started looking for less-intelligent variations. He spent some time as Wunkin. Wunkish. Wunky Woo-woo. Wunky Wunk and the Funky Pants. You know, the usual. At my last job, my daughter wrote Wunk all over a process diagram I was working on. WUNK. WUNKIN. YOU MUST KNOW HE IS A POUFE [sic]. This evolution is the way of things. Sadly, since having all of his teeth removed, Murph (the cat) has become Moop. This is the way of the world.

Right… so no “Duncan Wunkan.” Occam’s Razor be damned. I would not have thought the path from Duncan to Wunk would be a Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon-esque path.  Don’t get me wrong, the actual path is way more interesting, just more surprising as well.

Question 9: What is something that you think people would be surprised about you?

This question has been hard to answer, mostly because I’m bad at predicting what surprises people. I think the answer depends on which person, and how do they know me. 

o   If you know me now, you might be surprised that I was a fundamentalist in my early teens. 

o   If you knew me in my early tweens, you might be surprised that I was a paranormal investigator. 

o   If we went to college together, you are often very surprised to learn I married Mark.

o   If you knew me in high school, you might be surprised to learn that I’m smart; if you knew me after high school, you might be surprised that I used to practice batting my eyelashes and giggling because  I thought I was hopelessly stupid and tried to cover it up.

Again, it’s all context. But I’m a Gemini and we’re just a delightful mess of contradictions. 

The thing is, I love it when people surprise me, which they always do. My favorite poems are made of details that are like delicious little salt crystals, and so are people. Uncovering a surprise is a burst of flavor. In high school, a friend was detailing some minutiae of her life and I responded with the clever ‘I’m like, wow” and she snapped, “Susan, you’re always like ‘wow’.” She meant it as a bad thing, but I think it’s part of my charm. This thing I just learned about you? Wow.

The fundamentalist thing is super surprising to me. I was pretty thick in the religion when I was a youngun as well. The somewhat racist reaction from my childhood church burned that bridge below its caissons.  I was already tottering on the edge of leaving the churchiness behind, and then there was the reaction to whom I was going to marry.

For me, it was a few things. A) I had made somewhat of a career of dating Jewish men, and they found that unacceptable. B) I was given a talking to about listening to the “wrong sort” of Christian rock. But the final straw was when they told me that my mother’s death was “all in God’s plan.” There’s no excuse for that—none. 

Question 10:  Fill in the blanks:  I find that I am mostly _____________.  Others think that I am mostly _________. 

I think/feel/imagine myself to be mostly Fluttershy. Others think/feel/imagine me to be mostly Twilight Sparkle, although Mark, and possibly he alone, finds me to be Rarity. 

Fluttershy, Twilight Sparkle, and Rarity

I so do not want to know about any potential cutie mark //shudder.

Question 11: So, why do you think others feel you are a magical problem solving princess, your partner sees you as a magical and giving seamstress, and you think you are mainly known for being a caretaker? And why don’t you think anyone thinks you are Applejack?

Applejack

Interesting. I think others see me as bookish and well-read. Mark sees me as refined and polite. I see myself as a burbling mess of insecurity. I don’t think anyone thinks I’m an extroverted hick. I mean, maybe they do, but that’s not one that’s filtered back to me. 

That cartoon was a bizarre one. It seemed relatively innocuous and fun for young girls and then the weird movie thing came out where the ponies became overly sexualized horse/girl/furries.  It really made me sad to see this cartoon where young girls/women who happened to be ponies of some kind were able to overcome obstacles though friendship and understanding turned into anthropomorphized teenage horse girls.  Seemed to be catering to the furry bronie more than the kids.

So… a few years ago I did a 20 Questions with a French podcaster, Patrick Beja, and this delightful gentleman brought me to the most deceptively simple questions I have ever been asked or have asked.  So, without further ado… Question 12: Are you happy?

I’ve really been pondering this one. I am happy. I’m a happy person--I’ve always been kind of emo, even as a kid, but generally, I trend to happy. I’m also happy in this moment--I can’t promise about the moment before or what will come next, but this moment is perfect and I am content in that. 

That said, I’m depression’s bitch, if you’ll pardon the language. I recognize this, and am trying to learn to separate what is real, and what is that smothering, gray blanket in my head, but it’s hard. I had post-partum after my my daughter was born, sought treatment, then went off it when I was trying to get pregnant again. My son’s birth was so traumatic that I didn’t recognize it--I thought I was just grieving that, but it’s eight years later and the sun hasn’t come out yet. I thought I could fight it on my own, and I am slowly realizing I just can’t. 

Depression is a lying liar that constantly lies. Honest to goodness depression is not something that can be navigated by oneself. Depression is misassociated with the idea of people being “sad.” It is not merely big sustained sadness, but a fundamental brain chemistry issue that cannot just be pushed to the side by a smile and some M & M’s (not saying that M & M’s couldn’t help… well, the peanut butter M & M’s or the white chocolate ones… the caramel ones are terrible, and they should not be).  I suffer from it, and no many people who suffer from it on a a daily basis. Seriously people, depression sucks, and the people who have to deal with it, do better when they do not have to deal with it by themselves.  So, hug someone you care about, but don’t hug them in a weird way that takes just a beat or two too long.

Here we are at an unlucky question for triskaidecaphobics… Question 13: Do you subscribe to  any superstitions or rituals? 

If I let my brain do what it wants, I would be too busy touching oak, building altars, and sourcing silver to keep in my pocket to get anything done. At heart, I want to embrace superstition and bury my face in it. When I was little, I used to say a series of prayers at night, and I was fairly certain that if I got them out of order, I would die. I think this is why I was such an easy mark for religion. I have spent most of my adult life, walking the fine line between rational and batshit crazy. I joined my paranormal investigation group as a skeptic, because I really did yearn to find something magical, something beyond the rational. I was a skeptic, though, and joined a group that tried to find scientific evidence, so at the same time I was searching, I was also walling myself off from that possibility. I want proof that is based on more than just a feeling, because I don’t trust my brain to do what’s right. 

I remember crying after seeing my grandma, several years before she died. I told my husband (who had once been a phone psychic), that I had a premonition that it was the last time I would see her. He said that it was possible, but that our brains don’t remember all the times we have premonitions that DON’T come true—and that’s stuck with me. I did see her after that, many times, and if he hadn’t said that, I would have forgotten how sure I felt. That’s why I can’t trust my brain—it lies. 

All that said, I still believe in saying “good night”, “I love you”, or “See you soon”, rather than “good bye”. I believe you should start as you intend to end, so birthdays, New Year’s, and other beginning/end holidays should involve physical and emotional contact with the people you love best in the world. I believe in kissing on footbridges and saying “gesundheit”. I light the wicks of every new candle that comes into the house, although I’m not sure why—I learned that at the antique store. I try to light a candle on Yom Hashoa. I am incapable of not touching wood, but I try to do it secretly. I say thank you to animals we eat and apologize to the bugs I kill. And if there’s a special place, I find myself talking to it—like Lake Chautauqua. I don’t particularly respect these things about myself, but it is what it is. 

I don’t think this was the direction you meant the conversation to go, and really revealed more about the soft squishy bits than I meant to. I wish I had a meditation practice or could say breezily, oh, yeah, I do yoga every morning. That’s what normal people do.

Even though you did not directly answer the question, you did thoroughly answer it.  I have a couple of reactions to some of what you wrote.

One: I have often found that skeptics want the paranormal to be real much more than believers. Skeptics truly want these phenomena to be real, and try their darndest to prove it.  Believers tend to just believe without questioning wholesale the thing that they believe in.  I have found this is true for many highly religious people and flat-earthers as well. 

Two: “Good night,” “I love you,” and “see you soon” is one of the best rituals I can think of.

Three: Let’s be clear, normal people don’t do yoga every morning.  Yoga people do yoga every morning. If they have an issue, they “take it to the mat.” I hate myself a little more for just typing that out. 

So, this paranormal investigation group thing has come up, so I feel like I need to dig. Question 14: So what types of things did you investigate and what supernatural thing do you most want to be real?

The group was The Ghosts of Ohio so we specialized in...wait for it...ghosts, but I don’t believe we ever turned down a call. We did private investigations for property owners who contacted us. We’re not allowed to talk about our those, but we did everything from private homes in quiet neighborhoods to historic structures and places of business. We also did investigations of places that were open to the public, researched local legends (Helltown, crybaby bridges, etc.), collected folklore about any number of things. 

The founder, Jim Wills, is a local paranormal historian and one of the authors of Weird Ohio. I didn’t have kids then, and Jim was one of my closest friends, so we spent a lot of time wandering through cemeteries together. (In fact, check out the title page and p. 248 of Weird Ohio!). 

As for what I most want to be real? Ghosts for sure. The thought of nothingness when you die terrifies me. Also, fairies--the grotesquely beautiful fairies of Brian Froud’s world--because I so very much want there to be magic in this world. That is, when I allow myself to believe in it. 

Brian Froud's Faeries

I think I had some kind of ghostly encounter when I was a kid, but I have chalked that up to the overactive imagination of a 5 or 6 year old (I don’t remember how old I was at the time).  That is a story for a different time. My favoritest thing for paranormal stuff is cryptids.  I want so many of the legendary creatures to be real.  It would be amazing if even one of them was conclusively proven real.  

Question 15: In all of these paranormal investigations did you (specifically you) ever experience something ghostly, or did you suffer the equivalent of Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle and effect the outcome by trying to observe it? Honestly if you did, that would be kind of burying the lead a bit.

I never did, although for a while, I tried to feel like things other people experienced were just as good as experiencing them myself. At one investigation, my first, Jim recorded a cold spot that moved down the hall towards him and I would tell people about that, as if it meant something. But after a while, you start asking yourself why you’re never the one to get an aberrant reading, see something strange, catch the EVP. Jim always said that he imagined crowds of ghosts scurrying into hiding when they saw us pulling up in the driveway, and laughing and waving at us as we left, so it’s a known thing that when people are looking, they don’t find anything. But when the group shifted from entirely recordable data to giving weight to things like seeing orbs and feeling feelings, it seemed time for me to leave. It felt like a club that I wasn’t part of, if that makes sense. 

When I was in 8th or 9th grade, in the heat of my Fundamentalist phase, I went to sort of a Christian Woodstock (a Christian Lollapalooza?) with my youth group. On the final night, there was a big revival before we boarded the bus to drive home in the dark. Once on the bus, one of the girls in my group--one of the “good” ones, the ones who prayed publicly and was known to be particularly godly--began sobbing, saying she saw an angel and he was shaking his head and expressing his disappointment. Soon the whole bus was filled with weeping teenagers claiming to have seen or felt that angel. I didn’t see an angel. I hugged my friends while they cried and prayed with them, but as with the ghosts, I was an outsider, not one of the blessed. 

That’s what I don’t get--what’s the point of having this irrational part of my brain, the part that wants ghosts, that wants God, that wants fairies and magic, if I’m meant to only ever witness the supernatural touching others? 

You don’t get to ask me questions until Question 18.  I know you have read some of these, I cannot believe that you thought you could just randomly ask me a question in the middle of this. I am shocked at this behavior.  Shocked!

As I stated earlier, the skeptical want desperately to believe, it is just that their threshold of believability is much stricter. I can easily see you on the fringe of the paranormal and on the fringe of the fundamental. I think they are different colors of the same mask. There is a level of faith required for both fundies and believers that logic just won’t work with.

Question 16: Are there any questions you expected me to ask that I have not?

“What is your favorite song/album/band/Spotify playlist/type of music?” I absolutely hate that question, but it’s de rigueur, isn’t it? I know so many people who claim to judge your worth based on the answer, and I feel like it gets too close to the soft underbelly. We were listening to Spotify the other day and Mark said “What is this playlist? I have no idea what’s going on here.” I said it was just things I’d favorited. He said that made sense, how it was at once bizarre, yet familiar. That’s me. Bizarre. Yet familiar. 

There are many questions that tend to be de rigueur that are really horrible questions.  The most often one I have seen is the “what’s your favorite X?” That is a tired and boring question. 

Comedy dictates that my next question be something about identifying your favorite of some category, but today I am eschewing comedy dictates. You hear that, Comedy? Eschewing!

Question 17: What would the God of All Comedy be named, if you could name the God of All Comedy? For the purposes of this post, you do, indeed, have that power.

I’m an agnostic, so I’m not sure if there is a God of ALL Comedy, but a few Halloweens ago, Mark and I dressed as two of the lesser gods you might not have heard of--Dorfeus, god of Dad jokes, and Purrsephone, goddess of cat memes. 

My go to names for gods of humor are Mirthcoatl the Omnijocular or Brosadi the Norn or Humor. That being said, I do not have “go to’s” for a god of humor name. I just came up with them for this post, but I like them verily. 

Now it is time for me to turn the tables. Question 18: Do you have any questions you want to ask me?
I love asking questions and hearing people spin their yarns, so I have ALL the questions for you. 
What keeps you going? 
What keeps you up at night? 
What makes your skin crawl? 
What taste, smell, or sound turns you into a kid again? 
What do you try not to remember? 
What do you hope to learn through these questions? 
How much is enough? 
It’s hard, because what I really want is a bottle of wine, and the ability to respond to some of your responses with more questions, but this is a start. 

Susan with a foliage moustache

Alright… here we go.
In general, curiosity keeps me going.
Worrying about the kids and having to deal with emotions I try not to deal with keep me up at night.
Spiders make my skin crawl.
Not much will turn me into a kid again… maybe dealing with my parents for more than a day at a time will throw me into some not so great childhood patterns.  Does that count?
I will not tell you what I try not to remember. Nope, not going to happen.
I hope to learn more about people, because I like people in the abstract… I tend to not actually like people though.
Enough is enough. 

So… Question 19: What are you taking from these 20 Questions that you did not bring with you?

I discovered that I actually love talking about myself, even though it’s ingrained in me to deny that vehemently. I don’t think I looked my depression in the eyes and gave it a nod until we discussed happiness here. And I don’t think I truly understood how starting your career trajectory at NordicTrak can put you on the path to success before this; I regret some earlier life choices. 

Not just anyone could start their worklife at NordicTrack, and no one can start in their retail arm anymore. The 90’s were the absolute best for niche retail stores in malls.  Anyhoo… the happiness question is always an introspective one.

Here we are at the last. Question 20: What's next?  Be as vague or as specific, as concrete or philosophical, and as near term or long term as you would like

In the short term, we are opening up the house and trying to dig out. Things have been rough, with two beloved pets dying in the last month. Spring is a good time to open all the french doors in our house that were closed to keep ailing pets out, to remove puppy pads, to let in some light. I need to get back to work--I owe a dear friend a poem, and frankly, I owe myself a poem. And it’s time to travel, to see new things, to taste new things, and to make a few new lists, because life doesn’t doesn’t seem to have direction without one. Beyond that, things are fuzzy, and not just because of all the cats. 

Susan's partner, Mark with Bartleby and Murphy

The problem with flinging open the doors in Central Ohio is that the weather is so volatile, you will want to fling them closed again almost instantly. In the time since Susan flung open her doors (answered this last question) it has snowed twice... maybe three times. 

I have adored this 20 Questions Tuesday greatly, and am very happy to know more about Susan. Everyone should give her a follow on the Twitters (@selimacat) even though she does not tweet much and on the ‘Grams (@selimacat).

She is an absolute delight and everyone should get to know her primarily because she is an introvert and that would freak her out.

To recap:
Plumber and painter in the house this week
Oh, and had to get a new over the range microwave as well
It does really come in threes
My kid really likes the Overwatch League
I find myself being sucked into it somewhat
My heel/plantar fasciitis is still a little ouchy
I realize this is a Wednesday
But I was not able to get the post formatted yesterday
It takes time
This blogging platform does not keep the formatting I already do on the documents
So I have to reformat everything
It is an arduous process
I just want to make sure all of you know that I suffer for my art
I don’t really
I was tired last night and didn’t feel like doing it
So this becomes a Wednesday post
Deal with it
Have a great week everyone 

20 Questions Tuesday: 407 - Injury

Last week I was going to have a post, but things went to Hell super fast. Sunday my right heel was feeling a little ouchy.  Monday morning I could not put weight on my right foot at all. Stupid heel.  So Monday and Tuesday was all elevated and iced which curtailed my abilities to “do things.”

So, this week’s topic is “Injury.” Sure this is coming out on a Friday.

Shut up! That’s why.

Thanks to Nicole, Susan, and some other guy for the questions:

1. Heat or ice?
Ice. Ice and elevation. Elevate that ice.  That ice needs to be on the top!

2. Have you ever faked an injury to avoid something?
I don’t think I have faked an injury as much as I have overinflated the effects of an injury.  Straight up fakery? Nope.  Exaggeration? Yes.

3. Does it hurt when I do this?
Almost always, so please stop doing that.

4. Show me on the doll where the bad man hurt you?
The bad man did not hurt me on the doll’s surface.  I cannot point to the doll’s mind, now can I?

5.  What is the worst injury you have ever had?
I sprained my medial collateral ligament on my left knee back in college.  Later, on crutches, I re-aggravated my recently sprained left hand.  There were a couple of months in college that were rough injury-wise.

6. Have your kids ever had any significant injuries?
No, I don’t think so. I think it is only a matter of time for the girl though.  She is really enjoying riding horses, which will result in some kind of injury eventually.

7. Have you ever injured someone else?
When I played soccer as a kid, I was adjacent to 2 guys who broke their arms by not landing correctly, and I broke one kid’s leg.

8. Have you injured any animals?
Not that I know of, and that is a terrible question. I am not a monster.

9. So… have you ever be In Jury?
Nope.  I have never had jury duty.

10. So “Injury” is derived from the root of the word for “justice” and “just” with the negation of that idea using the prefix “in.” That root goes back to the Indo-European word “jus” meaning “right, or correct.” “Jus” is also the French word for beef juice that you dip prime rib into.  Would it be correct to say that “injury” is what you do with a French Dip sandwich?
Nope, and since I have had to be gluten free, I have not had a French Dip sandwich (my favorite of all the sandwiches) and I miss them so.  Gluten free bread just falls apart in au jus… in au jus and my tears.

11. How often do you injure your pride?
Well, you have to put yourself out there to actually do something worthy of misdoing bad enough that my pride could be injured. I mean… unless I find out that some read my blog and didn’t like it. That would make my pride hurt… oh so much.

12. Have you ever broken any bones?
3 toes and my left arm.  Not at the same time.  The toes when I was playing soccer as a kid and the arm a few years back on vacation.

13. Do you know what happens if you Google “injury questions” without using some kind of incognito mode? You get a bunch of personal injury lawyers ads popping up all over the place in your social medias.  Did you know that?  Did you?!?
Um… no?

14. What is the goto non-killing injury that Steven Seagal would always include in his 3 word titled movies: Hard to Kill, Above the Law, Out for Justice, Marked for Death, Cheese is Good, I Like Eggs, and Who’s That Girl?
The inverted elbow.  It has to be the inverted elbow.

15. Is an illness an injury?
Nope, Injury denotes some kind of impact to a physical system of the body. Illness denotes some kind of reaction to a foreign body such as a virus or germ.

16. Can someone else’s illness injury you?
Yes, primarily an olfactory injury.

17. Have you ever injured yourself being ill?
Like crack a rib from vomiting too hard? Not that I remember. I have the aforementioned re-sprain of a hand due to crutches from another injury.

18. An injurious barb is only “likely” to cause mental or emotional harm. How likely for you?
Kind of likely, but I would never let you know. You would say, "Look at that tubby tubby 2x4 blogger over there with his dumb inability to publish on the day his blog is named after." and I would wave and smile like it ain't no thing. But I would cry myself to sleep, and potentially water down any au jus I could not use for a French Dip.

19. Is there an EDM group called N’Jur-E  or something like that? Because there should be if there is not.
Not that I could find. Rapper or EDM would work.

20. I only got to 19 questions. I was hoping to round it out with 20 by today, but it looks as if I will stick on to 19.

To recap:
Winthrop Bushwaddle, Second Earl of Northumbershire could be one of the best cat names I have ever thought of
It is too bad I am no longer an owner of cats
I miss them
It is weird that I sit around thinking of cat names
Even I recognize that
Our Vizslas are awesome, but I miss having cats
My heel is hurting a bit
But not as bad as last week
I should probably be icing the heel right now

Not like that

or like that
Even as you read this
Regardless of when you specifically are reading this
I need to be drawing more
Should have an interview ready for next week
It has been a while since you have had the opportunity to read someone else answer 20 Questions
OH in a meeting “It should be almost right.”
Friday is the new Tuesday
Do some good out there this week people
Have a great weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 406 - Sickness

So, my head is full of yuckiness today. Yesterday my throat was hurting, but today is a day of mucus… and weird colored mucus at that.  Orange?!? WTF? I have been cursed with sinus cavities that have a certain amount of feeling.  Meaning I can actually feel when a sinal chamber “clears itself” when I am blowing my nose.  I am delightful company at parties.

Editor’s note: There is not an editor, but I have a note anyway.  This post is taking more than one day to write because of ailment sleepiness.  My apologies, and I am not going to go in and change the language to reflect which day I answered which questions. Consider the writing of this yesterday and today as if it were one 48 hour day. This week is never going to end.

Anyway “sickness” is the topic, so let’s get to it with my limited energy. Thanks this week go to Aunt Linda, Nicole, Jared, Matt, Alesha, Susan, the wife, and Some Other Guy. Here come the questions.

1. When did taking a "mental health" day become a reason to use a sick day?
I used them when I was in Jr High School, so about 30 years ago.

2. How are you feeling? (That counts as a question, right?)
Mostly better.  The sinus congestion is a pain, but my throat is better.  

3. How do you help people who are sick? For me, people visited, called, sent cards, provide meals, provided money, just sat with me for hours in the hospital, and so much more.
I always want to be left alone when I am sick, so I often just leave people to their own devices when they are sick.  Some people see my lack of interaction as not being thoughtful where I consider it an active gift of healing space. 

4. Do you even know that some people you know are or have been sick? I'm easy with a big scar on my head, but not everyone is so obvious.
That is a good question.  Sometimes symptoms are the easiest indicator of sickness, but those are often much more associated with common illness or food poisoning kinds of things.  For more internal facing ailments, such as brain cancer, for example, there is no real indicator until it becomes readily apparent that there is something wrong.

5. If I'm sick, will I get better? What does that mean for each person who is ill?
It depends on the person sick and the illness they have.  Not everyone is going to get better.  Even in our technologically advanced society as it is, some illnesses are the end.

6. What do you say to a sick person that knows he or she isn't going to get better.
Part of that is following their lead, but I would not suggest sugar coating it.  Acknowledging the fact of the terminal condition is almost paramount, though.  You cannot simply use impressive denial skills to act like something is not terminal when it is. If acceptance is not part of the process, you cannot find beauty in wrapping up that person’s journey.

7. How do families support their mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, kids, and others, who are sick?
Families support all sorts of ways.  It really is a continuum.  Some handle it way better than others.

8 How do people pay for medical care? Many Americans don't have insurance, or may have limited insurance. I'm lucky to have great insurance, but it doesn't work that way for everyone. I know a guy who spent more on his arm surgery than I paid on my brain surgery.
That is a crazy hard question in the US. In other modern nations it is simple, you pay your taxes, you get your medical care. Here, you declare bankruptcy and protect what assets you can.

9. Do you enjoy Disturbed, the Sickness? I know I do.

It makes me smile in spite of myself with the “Oh, Wa-ah-ah-at.” I never really got into Disturbed or the other heavy almost tribal drum beats with crunchy guitar, shout music. They hit about 5 years after I was in my metal phase.

10. Feed a fever, starve a cold... or the opposite... i'm not sure. any scientific proof to that? I kind of doubt it, sort of like 'liquor before beer, never fear. beer before liquor... you're still an alcoholic.'
I think the beer before liquor, you’re still an alcoholic is one that has some data to back it up. Feed a Cold and starve a fever haven’t really ever (to my limited knowledge) made it past folk remedy in terms of peer reviewed research. That would be a difficult trial to create controls for.

11. How sick is sick enough for a) the kids to miss school, b) you to miss work
a) We pretty much let the kids work on the honor system.  We maaaay need to be a bit more vigilant with the youngest.
b) I pretty much go with how poorly I would make others feel around me.  So no serious sniffles (I might get some pushback from coworkers on this one), no seriously productive coughing, no fever.

12. Do you & the wife have the same thresholds for a & b above?
I don’t think so.  When one works for themselves like the wife does, there is not much of a safety net to fall back on so work just needs to get done, yo.

13. Is it just an old wive’s tail that if you go outside with a wet head you will be sick?
That is anecdotally false. Back in my long haired youth, I would leave the house all the time with damp or even wet hair and because I was childless and nigh invulnerable to pathogens since the wee petri-dish hellspawn had not compromised my health at that point.

14. Worse sickness you have ever had?
It is a toss-up for acute illness versus drawn out. About 20 years ago I got some viral bug that caused liquid to eject forth from both ends of my alimentary canal. Sometimes simultaneously. It was over in a day or so. It was a rough day or so, but only a day or so.  The long term was that I got the influenza when I was a kid.  Straight up 2 weeks of being out of commission. 

15. Is vitamin C and other herbal things just a placebo treatment or is there some efficacy to using them as a treatment?
Remember DR Andrew Weil the holistic MD who is all into alternative medicines, well he said, adding Vitamin C or echinacea or zinc or cadmium or other some such nonsense, can’t necessarily hurt.  I have never found a medical professional who said that is not the case.  Worse comes to worse, you pee out a bunch of vitamins and minerals.

16.  What are your thoughts on addiction? Is it really a disease?
Well, my immediate answer is “yes,” but the more I think about it, I have a hard time categorizing it as a disease.  Disease seems to indicate some level of ability to be cured.  I would lean more towards considering it a condition. That seems more like it could be problem that could be mitigated but not eliminated.  

17. How did “sick” become slang for “good” or “effective?” As in “That was a sick burn, brah.”
I am really not very sure how “sick” came to have that particular slang meaning, but I imagine it followed a line from from awesome to bad to sick. It has the same kind of opposite colloquial meaning. 

18. Have you ever experienced motion sickness?
When I was a kid I think I would sometimes get motion sickness sensations, but I do not tend to have a grumpy belly associated with slow repetitive rocking back and forth motions. That being said, catch me on the right day after eating the right meal with the right motion and I will be easily yarfing over the railing on a watercraft.

19. That “in sickness and in health” thing, I mean, it’s like, just a suggestion, right?
Nope.  That should be the real deal… and you are a terrible person for asking.  You know who you are.

20. Why do some people get motion sickness and others not? And how do you ridiculous people who don’t get motion sickness tolerate cruises anyway?
Well, for that part one piece of the question, from my poor memory of the wife having vertigo... it has to do with these little crystals that are on the ends of these tiny cilia in the inner ear.  The fit has to be perfect or there is some vertigo, and motion sickness is one of effects of that. As to the second part, I really don’t know.  I guess it is the all you can eat and the forced disconnection from society because internet connection is so expensive. 

To recap:
It looks like someone hit skipped her car while it was parked
Before her meeting the car was driving fine
After the meeting, however, the car’s steering was messed up
Now we are in the claims process for the car
The claims process is painful
I also had a CAT scan for my noggin today
It is time to get that deviated septum fixed
Little Man did the walk out today... we are proud parents
I have edited on a first pass through about 75% of the NaNoWriMo book that I did a few years ago
I think I need to do at least one more pass before I allow anyone else to give it a pass
After that second pass I will start lining up some artists to do single page illustrations
Any artists out there want to get on the radar, hit me up
Still ejecting weird colors from my nose
And my sinuses are still a bit on the full side
Man, I need some sleep
Sorry about the Wednesday post
Tuesday was a rough day
Have a great week everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 405 - Ask Me Anything

This morning on my walk from my parking lot as I was crossing my second 4 lane one way street, a car blew through the red-light and almost hit me. I had walked across 2 lanes when in the third lane he just blows through the light.  I am going to belabor this just a bit more to be crystal clear. I, as the pedestrian waited for the crossing signal, and then walked across one lane of traffic, followed that up with walking a second lane of traffic, and as I was about to enter the third lane of traffic a car blew through the light.  I walked 24 feet across the street and after that 24 feet is when a car blew through the light. That light that he went through was a funny shade of green my friends, a funny shade of green.

So today is a day of extremes. This morning was all about the adrenaline which is being followed by the post adrenaline crash. The idea I had for a topic today just did not make sense, so this is an Ask Me Anything day.

Thanks to Lsig, Erin, Joseppi, Lars, Amy, Susan, Jared, Brian and Bob. Onto the questions

1. Why don't you have a topic? 
I just could not think of anything that I had the energy or interest for today. It has been a while since I have done one of the random ones.

2. Do you have any upcoming interviews? 
I am on question 17 with one person, and question 13 for another, and I am on question 8 with someone who is actually asking me 20 questions.

3. How long are you going to keep this up, anyway? 
As long as I can. It is still kind of fun.

4. Do you think we all have time to keep coming up with stuff for you? Do you?
I do not think that all of you have the time, the energy, or the interest every week to send me questions, but I do believe that there is a critical mass weekly that are happy to.

5. What kind of friend are you? 
The distant kind.

6. Were you thinking about your utter lack of topics when you were nearly run over today?
I honestly was not thinking about topics during the near miss.

7.  I think you're topic should be "Pedestrian stories" - both times when cars acted dangerously toward pedestrians, and times when Pedestrians acted dangerously toward cars. As for Bikes, you can count them either way.
While this is not really a question, I will treat it as kind of a question.  I could not think of a good angle for a topic using near pedestrian misses. I was concerned that the questions would end up being mainly asking me to comment on someone else’s near miss or just a streak of me describing my near misses. I just could not find a good angle for this.

8. You reading anything good lately?
I am currently reading Chuck Wendig’s “Empire’s End” and “Caliban’s War,” the second book in the Expanse series by James S. A. Corey. Both are good. 

9. How’s the fam? 
Fam’s good. Thanks for showing you care.  Some people clearly care about me and my well being, Bob.

10. How would you motivate me to get off my lazy arse?
I am trying to use a treadmill and Civ VI for myself. It is not going great because I have not made it into a habit yet.

11. Did I miss anything?
Well, if you were driving a cream colored sedan in Columbus, Ohio this morning around 8:27 a.m., you missed me.

12. What is your favorite Ohio day trip location?
When I was working for ODOT, I always enjoyed the days I had to drive up to the lakeshore, but I would not want to hang out there.  Hocking Hills is always a nice trip for a day hike.

13. Related to your brush with death: what do you want as your epitaph?
Epitaph: "Is this far enough away, Bob?!?! #IWillHauntYourAss"

14. What do you want to have happen to your body when you die?
Cremated, ground into powder and added to the coffee at my memorial service. Fun fact: none of my family are coffee drinkers (except for my brother and sister in law. Andy, Michelle, don’t drink the coffee at my memorial service if you outlast me), so I would only be consumed by non-family members. You like coffee, don't you, Bob?

15. If you found yourself as a ghost, where would you haunt?
I love that you asked where and not who... because I think we all know the who. #NotTheBand

A Krispey Kreme Doughnuts because I could honestly watch that conveyor belt for all eternity.

16. Let’s say you’d rather live in a different country. Which country (or countries) would we pick and why.
I would easily pick Canada.  A good bit of my wife’s work is in Canada and, I think, the transition would be the easiest.  Where in Canada?  That is a different question. I would let NS and BC fight over me. Honestly though, BC and NS would be fighting over my wife and kids.  I would be included in the deal like door prize luggage.

17. Labradoodles?
Well, sometimes when a Labrador Retriever and a Poodle owner love each other very much they will force their respective dogs to conjugate so the offspring can be sold for dolla dolla bills, yo.

18. Why don’t you have a topic for us? Why are we your content machine? Why don’t you ask us the interesting topics? (Seems like you wanna talk about yourself a lot.) #iminterestingtoo
I usually have a topic in mind, but today I did not. As for why are you my content machine, well… Have you ever tried to ask yourself 20 questions, Bob? Have you? I have and it is not easy, buddy. I already know most of the answers prior to asking the question and the height of hubris would be to ask myself something I already know the answer to and then write down that answer because I thought other people would enjoy it sooo much. I do ask interesting topics, but if you would like to volunteer topics that you might find interesting, I would consider them. Considering your hashtag... You are interesting too, so starting tomorrow, get ready to answer 20 Questions, because you are next up for the interview. #HowDoYouLikeThemApples?

19. Who do you think you are, mr. funnyman? As if I don’t have hockey to watch and dishes to do. #screwthedishes#gothehelltobedkids #busythinkingofquestionsforlazyscott#puckdrop #periodtwo
I am not keeping you from washing dishes or watching your ice capades. This request for questions is and will always be purely voluntary.

20. Will you please go away now? Will you answer any of these? #probablynot #rhetoric #rantover #notyet#beerme #nowimdone
That’s 20. We out.

To recap:
20 and donety
You don’t get a recap because Bob wanted me to go away
And some interesting shit could be in this recap, in fact there definitely was going to be #ThanksBob
Blame him
Have a great weekend everyone
 

20 Questions Tuesday: 404 - Winter Olympics

20 Questions Tuesday: 404?  This post is not found. 

I have been consuming an inordinate amount of the Winter Olympics, which is delightful.  I love me some Olympics.  There are many sports that I would watch on the daily if they were offered by the sports TV networks. I understand why there is not much buy-in from the sports ball watchers and producers do not provide more continuous winter sport coverage, but I think there are some ways that this could be made more available to us here in the States.

Anyhoo… I asked people for questions about the winter Olympics and Lsig, the Baklava Fairy, Scott LeMien, Alesha, Erin, Grapes, Bob, Lars, Matt, Sandy, Susan, and Brian sent me a slough of questions.

Here we go.

1. Which do you prefer, Winter or Summer games?
I think I prefer the summer games because of the larger variety of events. I have been underwhelmed by the paucity of variation so far.  That makes sense though, there are significantly less competitive winter activities.

2. Do you have any insight into what makes someone good at Luge? I can’t figure out by watching. 
The only thing I can see is that to go the fastest requires the luger to lay their head back and not watch where they are going.  It has something to do with leg placement and micro adjustments.

3. Do you root for (non-injurious) falls and crashes, or is that just at my house? 
Of course… I was just talking with the wife how adding the channels to the ski-jumps has cut down on the amount of falls… and that secretly makes me sad. Snow and Ski cross are the best bets now... when I was a kid it was the snow jump.

4. How do you feel about athletes who change their citizenship to compete for a different country? 
More power to them.  I think it is fine, so long as they honestly identify with the country in question. If they don’t consider themselves a real citizen of the adoptive country, it feels a little mercenary.

5. Did you like Team USA’s opening ceremony outfits? 
Meh… They were... a bit, how do we say, suspect? More on this in Question 14. That being said most of the US Team uniforms are super boring.  And what the hell is the crotch spot on the US Speed skaters? 

6. Sibling skating teams— sort of creepy, right?  
They need to not do intimate moves and deep soul searching looks to each other.  If they keep the music fun and the moves like people who are in a dance troupe, it can work. One deep soulful look into each others eyes will kill that immediately.

7. Ice dancing: just why?
Because the pairs skating routines started to just be athletic and not artistic. They became more about what throws could be done and less about how the moves went with the music. Ice dancing is very similar to pairs skating from the 1960’s.

8. What is? How So?
That which does not belong to “What is not.” Like so.

9. Should they add ice skating sumo wrestling?
If that is an actual thing, most definitely yes. If it is not a thing, it should be, and then it should be added to the Olympics.  I would also have accepted the idea of Thin Ice Sumo Wrestling

10. Is there any point to any other country even TRYING to win half-pipe?
In regards to the ski half-pipe being introduced this year, that is how all the adoption of the x-games-like events have gone.  First olympics it is all US medal, next Olympics, there are less US medaling, but still dominant, third Olympics, US is just competing like everyone else.  In 8 years, the US will contend for the medals like any other strong competitor.

In regards to snowboard, this year was an especially strong group, but they did not do so well 4 years ago.

11. Would you be more inclined to watch if Idiot Hockey were an event. (Hockey with Chuck Taylor's as footwear)
In college there was a game called Broom Ball that was basically hockey rules with a ball and brooms and people with street shoes on the ice.  It was dumb and super slow.  I would rather watch curling. 

12. Do the winter games exist to ensure Europe walks away with a few medals?
It is only for the Dutch to get some speed skating wins. The rest is just a ruse to not make it look so obvious.

13. No NHL players in hockey. WTAF?!
NHL did not want to risk injury to their players and is hurting financially and in the middle of the season right now.  So to make sure their best and brightest are still on the ice so that their ticket holders will buy more tickets and see their favorite NHL teams and players even though the Olympics are going on, they did not allow any team to release their players.

14. What do you think of the Dumb and Dumber/Lloyd Christmas winter gloves? (Google it. It’s a thing.)
Who doesn’t like leather fringe? I mean seriously? Leather. Fringe. Is.Teh. Awsomestest!

15. How can you tell the difference between male and female bobsledders?
Super easy, you have to turn them over.

16. What's the deal with that backwards skiing thing and when did it start?
I think that is only a thing on the freestyle slopestyle.  I think it was snowboard jealousy.

17. Curling? I just don't understand.
I am trying to think of the summer games equivalent, but coming up a bit short. So, it is slippery team shuffle board… or Sorry Sliders.

18. Do figure skaters look at ice dancers as peers or is there some condescension that goes on?
It is kind of like Mississippians and Alabamians… they both look down on each other.

19. How will jet-packs change the Olympics?
Umm… they won’t impact them at all.  Since snow-mobiles are not a in a sport, why would jet-packing?

20. How many words can get from the letters O, L, Y, M, P, I, C, S?
The best one is Miscopy, but occurring to wordsolver.net there are 137… I think I probably could have come up with about 10.

To recap:
Snowcross is amazing
I would watch the hell out of speedskating any time any channel wants to broadcast it
My understanding is that this is a sport that is watched in the Netherlands
And there is only the sole announcer for the English feed from the Olympics
So, maybe someone can get the rights to an online feed and pay that dude to announce and then I can watch speedskating
I used the word “slough”
Little Man is happy that Stage 2 of Overwatch League starts tomorrow
I need to be done for the night
I have some more Olympics to watch tonight
Have a great week everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 403 - Art

It is another edition of 20 Questions Tuesday on a Wednesday.  Here we go!

Art is in the eye of the beholder. All of my D&D buddies are now quietly saying to themselves, “But the beholder has many eyes.”  Well, good people, art is many different things.  This week I aim to answer 20 Questions about art.  Let’s do this.

Thanks this week to KSig, Nicole, LSig, Wes, Amy, Susan, Brian, Gavin and some other guy. Answers are a’comin’!

1. Two part question. Are they still making Arts today (as in people named Art)? I don’t remember going to school with anyone named Art and neither do my kids...and in the history of Arts, the name is mediocre at best. Art Schlichter, Briles and Model can all rot in hell. Don’t get me started with Art Linkletter and Rooney. Art Carney chili, overrated (shout out to Mel). Other than the name Adolph, is there a more disappointing group of names than Art.
Part the first: People are named Arthur and nicknamed Art. That being said there are not many. The name is ranked 245 for 2018.  I would imagine it is mainly a middle name these days. 
Part the second: The middle name of Wayne… that just screams “I am going to eventually murder someone.”

2. What is art?
Simple, yet difficult question here.  Art is any creative expression that is intentionally created/performed/done to invoke an emotional response. So… almost everything can be, but the intentionality of the making of it is necessary.  Making a fork could be art, provided the person is intentionally creating the fork as a creative expression.

3. Do you think of yourself as an artist?
Sometimes.

4. What's the difference between "arts" and "crafts"?
Absolutely nothing. 

5. Do kids benefit from art class in school?
Of course they do.  Just like kids benefit from physical exercise during their education, they also benefit from artistic expression. Artistic expression forces kids to think much more generatively and promotes creativity and ingenuity.

6. Do you like art museums?
Yes, but not as much as one would think.

7. Can you explain the diff between art and pornography? Or do you just know it when you see it?
I see what you did there, but I will answer nonetheless. The line where things flip from art to pornography is different for every person, however there are typically lines that can be generally agreed upon as making something one or the other. I think the big difference is the intentionality of the creation process.

8. What are your top 3 works of art?
My top 3 that I have produced? Or my favorite 3 pieces that I enjoy looking at.  We will go with the former instead of the latter because there are too many of the latter to choose from and the former promises to be more fun.
2 of my 3 are my award winning fantasy maps that showed at a digital cartography art show in SoHo NYC about 5 years ago.
The first is “Something Swampish This Way Comes.” This one is more of a custom dungeon map done for a Cartographer’s Guild mapping challenge years ago.  The challenge was to take a set of primitive shapes and make an interesting minifig type map from it. The task I set forward on this map was to create multiple planes, and to have the viewer realize that there is a ground level, and it is above the water-line.

The second is “The Tenorous System.” This map was another map done for a Cartographer’s Guild mapping challenge about the same number of years ago. The challenge for this map was to create a solar system map. I wanted to make a more artistic old world style map that is set in a highly developed set of societies.

Both of these maps were in that digital art show.

My third is a piece I no longer have access to that was a still-life I did in college as a part of my Drawing II class. This piece was selected by my art prof to show in a Kent State student art show back in 1994. It was an ink wash with some raw umber and white conte crayon highlights still life of some random stuff I had on my desk at the time. I only have my flawed memories of this one, but in my mind it kicks all kinds of ass.

9. What do you think of those “artists” out there that just pee on a cross and call it art?
Well, that is very specific, I think you may be grumpy about the National Endowment of the Arts’s funding of controversial artists.  Here’s the thing, we do not know what these artists’ applications were to ask for funding. For example let’s think about the piss and cross example from above. The actual application could have been for funding to create an artistic “work” in order to stoke a media controversy and cause a religious fervor and backlash.  Maybe the grant was not for the artistic artifact but for the performance art that the artifact generated? How do you like them apples?

10. Can anyone make art? Or can anyone craft, but art is different?
Anyone can make art and anyone can craft. Now, not everyone can make good art or craft well, but we can all do it to some level.

11. If everyone can make art, can everyone consider themselves to be artists?
Sure, you can consider yourself an artist regardless of talent.  That does not mean that others will consider you an artist though. I can think myself the King of My Own Home, that does not mean that others think that as well.

12. Which famous Art is your favorite and why?
Caspar David Friedrich because he is a not that well known gothic artist.  If not him, maybe Thomas Eakins, because he took some of the color pallette of the more “realistic” expressionism pieces and really tightened it up while keeping things soft.

13. Can anyone become really good at art?
Nope, talent is necessary in some instances.  Skill and practice will only take you so far.  That being said, everyone can be better at art.  Everyone.

14. Is Roy Lichtenstein stuff actually art?
Oooh, this is a tough one. It is… however it is really art done in a shady way. Copying someone else’s work that was most likely not paid well, and selling it for a significant mark-up without crediting the original piece or compensating the original artist is shady as fuck.

15. People look at lots of modern art like Jackson Pollok’s stuff  and say “What’s so special about that? I could do that?” Could they?
They could not, because they have not. If they could have and found a buyer, the should have.

16. In a world leading country, is public funding of the arts a privilege, a necessity, a right?
Some level of society driven arts patronage is a necessity. Elsewise we become un-creative automatons.

17. Do the arts help civilization or harm it?
The “arts” help civilization by helping to determine where lines of acceptability by poking and prodding the edges and creating some cultural mores and values.  These change over time because art pushes those edges. 

18. Should only the wealthy be allowed to personally decide how to fund arts that they like?
Nope, there is a democratization of art funding happening at the moment through micro-funding platforms like Patreon and Kickstarter. Historically the arts have primarily been patronized by the rich, because the rich were the only ones who had the disposable income to throw at artists.  I think there is an Adam Ruins Everything about rich people arts patronage that gets into some of this.

19. Is art a commodity?
A commodity is a raw product that one can predict the contract value associated with that product in a future’s market, think oranges or pork bellies. I do not see art as a commodity because there is no futures market for “art.”  One might be able to create a futures market for either artists or art supplies, but not art.

20. Is the (potential) lack of funding for the arts a reflection of the lack of value the arts has in society, or are some people just not understanding the value?
It is people not understanding the value of arts in a cultural, educational, or developmental level. There are an insane amount of peer reviewed studies, written by non-artists, that show demonstrably the benefits of art in culture, it really is a non-question as to whether or not arts are necessary for a culture and therefore funding should be.  If you can win in Civilization VI by having a “cultural victory,” it is an important thing.

To recap:
The Winter Olympics coverage on the NBC’s has been weak... super weak
I have only seen the first teaser trailer for Black Panther
I am still beyond excited for seeing the movie on Friday
Not as excited as my wife
Something about Michael B Jordan and Chadwick Boseman

I cannot argue, thems some beautiful mens
I hear the movie is a bit of a game-changer
Superhero movies need a bit of a game-changer
They are getting a bit formulaic
The wife is in St Paul at the moment
Her work has her staying in a conference center that was once a children’s hospital/children’s mental hospital/children’s sanitarium
Creepy. As. Hell.
She is staying in this room 

In this building

Yikes! Creepy. As. Hell. Seriously. Creepy. As. Hell.
Happy Valentine’s Day
Have a great week everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 402 - Owls

Over the weekend there was a big old American football game wherein an evil empire was overthrown by some plucky upstarts.  This game’s name is all copyrighted and can only be referred to as The Big Game. So this week’s topic is the Owls a la the Superb Owl.  Let’s answer some questions about Owls.

Thanks this week go to Nicole, Susan McG, PFMdesigner, Chris Ring, Dr JHP, Chris Corrigan, Erin, Khoi, my loving wife, and Sandy. 

Let’s answer some weird questions about owls.

1. There is an owl cafe in Japan. My question: who wants to start an owl cafe in Columbus?
I am not sure I would be party to owl petting cafe, and I know my wife is not game for the  lose encounter with owls idea (See Question 17). Also, that “cafe” does not seem to serve coffee or light snacks, which I believe is necessary for a cafe.

2. When you taught the OWL class (editor’s note: OWL stands for Our Whole Life which is a sexuality curriculum taught to different age groups about how sexuality changes over the course of one’s life within the Unitarian Universalist church), did you teach your own child? Would you? Why did you stop? Will you be/did you enroll your children in the class?
a) no
b) I’m not against it
c) We left that particular church (because they did not really like young kids too much)
d) Probably not

3. If you had to take an O.W.L. (editor’s note: the Ordinary Wizarding Levels exams that British wizarding children take when they are 15 or 16 years old), how do you think your marks would be? How hard would you study?
a) if I were in the wizarding world of Harry Potter and I were not muggle or squib, I feel I would probably pass my O.W.L.s. 
b) probably not as hard as most people… I was kind of lack-luster in my studying efforts when I was 15/16 years old.

4. You’re stuck in an elevator with a famous owl. Which would you choose: Owl, from Winnie the Pooh; The Great Owl from Secret of Nimh; or Bubo from Clash of the Titans?
Owl from Winnie the Pooh seems like an annoying pedant, so he’s straight out.  The Great Owl from the Secret of Nimh is scary as fuck. Bubo from Clash of the Titans would be annoying with all the flapping and beeping and booping. So, none of those 3 options really sounds great.  Bubo…. I choose Bubo.

5. What is the best way to prepare an owl for dinner?
Well, you should first invite them over, make sure they do not have any specific food allergies, and let them know what food you have made. I am not sure why you would need to prepare an owl for dinner when you could just feed them.

6. Hooters or eyeglasses?
Eyeglasses.

7. In the Potterverse, what would your familiar be?
Well, according to Pottermore my patronus would be a crow, but a patronus is nothing like a familiar.  So, For me, specifically, I think my familiar would be a cat.

8. Who is the best comic book Owl character: Night Owl (Watchmen), The Owl (Daredevil) or Talon (Batman)?
I love Night Owl from watchmen, but that series needs to be done. The Owl from Daredevil was weird, but many of the Daredevil’s bad guys are just plain bizarre. Talon from Batman is the most intriguing because not too long ago, DC created a group of bad guys for the Bat Family from whole cloth.

9. Any evidence of ancient prehistoric owls? You know, the kind that could swoop in and snatch a horse. 
The only one that I could find anything about was the Cuban Giant Owl, but those guys would only have been about 3 foot tall. It could grab a kid, but not an adult.

10. What is your favorite species of owl?
Snowy Owl is just plain gorgeous, but some of the ground/burrowing owls are much cooler. 

11. Does this topic mean the kids are getting an owl for St. Valentine's Day? That is so cool! You guys are the best parents! 
Um… no! The kids are not getting an owl.  There will be no owl pets in the house.

12. It's 2018, surely someone has constructed a real mechanical owl like they had in the original Clash of the Titans! What gives? 
People are not industrious enough.  I really think people dropped the ball on this one, mainly because people suck.  Dumb people.

13. What is the best way to punch an owl? Best karate move to get an owl off your head? (you may want to consult Caitlin M Frost before you answer)
Closed fist, with good amounts of torso twisting.  The power comes from the hips.

14. What is your favorite Superb Owl tradition?
We tend to ignore the game and go about our daily business.  Sometimes chips and dip is involved, when that happens it is Heluva Good’s French Onion Dip and Ruffles or tortilla chips and whatever salsa and guacamole is around at the time.

16. Owl will you ever do this?
Barn any unforeseen circumstances, I will just answer the questions.  You are barred from asking any more pun questions.

17. Best owl attack story? 
Funny story… My wife is hiking in British Columbia and an owl mistakes her hair done up in a pony-tail for a squirrel’s tail (at least that’s what we think the owl thought it was. We aren’t owls, we don’t know) and grabbed my wife by the head with its sharp sharp talons and cut her scalp somewhat.  The person she was hiking with hit the owl with a punch she learned whilst training in a martial art. Caitlin is a badass.

18. Should one go to the doctor after an owl attack? or is neosporin on the noggin enough of an intervention?
Well… I was curious if one should have seen if one should have gotten stitches, but that one did not seem to think the actual talon wounds were that deep or that dangerous. I would trust that one person, and neosporin seemed to do the trick.

19. What was it like teaching OWL with your wife? Without her? What was the slide that made you the most uncomfortable in the OWL class? what is the most important lesson from OWL you want to make sure our kiddos know?
a) I enjoyed teaching the class with her
b) I did not enjoy teaching that class without her
c) The old lesbians doing it on the pointy rocks, not for the subject matter as much as for the setting. Had to be uncomfortable.
d) That sexuality has way more to it than merely sexytimes

20. What is the largest animal ever picked up by an owl?
The great horned owl has been known to take pet dogs out of back yards. Great horned owls are biiiig.

To recap:
I was thinking last night how the US really is the Bad Guy… 
And it looks like it has always been so
But the winner gets to write the history
Little Man had his high school transition meeting last week and this week
How did he get so old so fast
It is like only yesterday that I was watching trains with him for hours on end
Winter Olympics start on Friday
I do love me some Olympics
I love the biathlon
Cross country skiing with intermittent shooting?
I will watch that dumb combination any day of the week
I set up the treadmill to have an apple TV in front of it
Now I can airplay Civilization VI and play that whilst walking on the treadmill
It is awesome
The last couple of nights I have walked 4.75 miles each night while beating up on the Germans
Fun fact: You can lose the game with a religious loss by capturing all of Germany’s cities
It makes no sense, but that is how it rolls
You be you Civ VI
Have a great week everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 401 - O Canada

A good portion of the work my wife does is in Canada.  Predominantly in Nova Scotia, but she has been know to be in British Columbia, Ontario, and Quebec a few times and I think she has hit New Brunswick, Prince Edward Island, and the Yukon Territories at least once.  Come on, prairie provinces, step up your game. So today I thought it might be interesting to see if I could, as an American, answer some questions about Canada.

Thanks this week go to Chris Corrigan, Aunt Linda, Stephen Guglich (@StevenGuglich), Joel, Jared, Sandy, the Wife, Brian, the M-I-L, and some other guy.  Onto the questions! 

1. Where all in Canada have you been?
Halifax and Mahone Bay in Nova Scotia and Toronto and Niagara Falls in Ontario.  I am far less Canadianly traveled than my lovely wife. 

2. Where in Canada would you like to travel next?
I would love to see the Canadian Rockies, Montreal, and Vancouver.  I am willing to hit the prairies if they can give me compelling reasons.  Convince me Saskatchewan.

3.  When people ask you about your experience of Canada, what do you tell them? 
That Canadians I have interacted with are very patriotic in a way that is not horribly overbearing as the patriotism in the US. I think people in the US are under the misconception that if given the chance Canadians would much rather be part of the United States.  That is not the case at all, and nor should it be. Canada is not merely the “United States of America’s hat.”

4. Why does Canada matter to the world? 
Aside from the beauty of the natural landscapes of Canada, and the wonderful people who live in and have come from Canada, Canada is, in many ways, like a working version of the US.  The political system is relatively similar, but there is universal health care.

5. As an outsider what do you think we need to work on? 
Much like many places colonized by Europeans, relationships between the county and its aboriginal populations could use some work.

6. When are you coming for a visit?
Not soon enough.  

7. Champ from Lake Champlain or Sasquatch from British Columbia… which do you want to see more?
Definitely sasquatch.  

8. If your great grandfather was born in Canada does that make you part Canadian?
Nope, citizenship is not the same as ethnicity.

9. Do people in Canada really end each sentence with "eh?" If so, why?
Not in my experience. There is definitely some “aboot” and other stereotypical accent pieces, but I have not really heard any “ehs.”

10. 3 parter- If the country of Canada produced a big budget summer movie, what genre would it be? 
Science fiction, because most sci-fi tv shows are shot in Vancouver currently. The infrastructure is already there.

11. What’s the title?
"Complex"

12. What’s the quick synopsis that would make me want to go?
There is no synopsis that make you want to go, you are a cynical misanthrope who has lost faith in the whole cinematic industry. Regardless of the synopsis, you would mock the movie… (think Grease mixed with Star wars, set in feudal Japan with no singing. It’s a five movie deal starring Matt Damon.)

13. I have traveled to Toronto and Vancouver. What else should I visit in Canada? (Both with and without small kids.)
Lunenburg, NS is gorgeous, but honestly most of Nova Scotia is just gorgeous. I have not been too many places in Canada so I cannot give too many recommendations. 

14. What would it take to get mounties to ride moose instead of horses?
Domesticated moose, which ain’t happening.

15. Where is Ottawa?
It is in Ontario but probably better described as being just a bit to the west of Montreal.

16. For Ohioans, why is Canada preferred over Michigan in the neighbor to the North context? Is this just a Buckeyes thing, why is this construct relevant to alums of other Ohio universities?
It has to do with the shooting war between Ohio and Michigan over who was supposed to own the port town of Toledo (which in the 1800’s was a really awesome town). That is where the beginnings of the Mich/Ohio issues started.  That is why it bleeds out past just OSU v MU.

Oddly enough the US seems to forget that Canada handed us our own teeth for the War of 1812. I think the US equates the War of 1812 with England instead of Canada though, so we don’t think of it as Canada who beat us like a drum.

17. Is Canada angry at the US for anything?
Of course. Aside from the US being overly jingoistic, Canada is angry at the US from a geologic sense as well.  The multiple glacial ages scraped all the good soil off of the Canadian Shield and dropped it onto Wisconsin, Michigan, and Ohio.

18. What is the most Canadian thing ever?
I would guess a moose, beaver, and lumberjack drinking maple syrup whiskey, eh.

19. Are Canadians as a whole as nice as their stereotype?
No group as a whole are their stereotype.

20. Do you know the words to O Canada?
I do not, but I should, and I will.  I am honestly going to endeavour to learn the words to O Canada (I might even take a stab at the French lyrics as well)

To recap:
The wife was stranded in Toronto last night and did not make it all the way to Halifax
I guess Nova Scotia had a Game of Thrones “Winter is coming” level snow event yesterday
The weather radar did not seem that crazy though
The airport only got 20.5 cm of snow and the wind seemed to be around 8.6 kn with gusts around 13 kn
That doesn’t seem too harsh for a Canadian climate
Regardless, the wife spent all day in Toronto International Airport and was forced to get a hotel room
Step it up NS, you can remove snow better than that
Little Man has his high school curriculum night tonight
How is he already going to go into high school
It has been too fast
Plumbing issues this morning in the kitchen
I hate plumbing issues
I am hoping to have this issue resolved today
Have a great week everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 400 - Food Trucks

Today as I was standing in the 39° F weather (that’s 3.89° C for my metric friends and 277.039K for my physicists) waiting for the woman running the truck to hand me my bowl of rice with various toppings, I realized that I like a whole bunch of food trucks.  So, today I am going to answer 20 questions on the phenomenon of food trucks!

Thanks this week go to Erin, John, B, Nicole, Ballpoint, Sandy, John, Susan McG, Bill Grapes, Khoi Pham, Steev, Justin, Matt, Brain S, Amy B, the wife, and (at the last minute) Joel and Some Other Guy.  Let’s get to the questions!

1. What food truck phenomenon stymies you the most?
The naming conventions are things that are often lacking.  The particular phenomenon on naming conventions that really gets me is when the name of the food truck has nothing to do with the food being served.  For example Dr Mom’s Tasty Treats.  What the hell does that truck serve? The other and most egregious naming issue is the misnomer. For example: Cuccina Alfredo.  That truck serves quick pastas and sauces with a selection of proteins to put on it, right? For an upcharge they will throw cheese on top and melt it till the cheese is bubbly, right? Wrong, it sells uninspired cheese burgers. WTF?!?

2. How far would you walk for your favorite food truck?
That really depends on the amount of time I have to indulge for lunch.  If there were no time limitations, I would go a mile or two.

3. Why are food trucks a thing now?
They are relatively cost effective.  It is cheaper to create a food truck without wait staff or rent. That is why food trucks spring up and then eventually become permanent spots. For example, Sweet T’s is a cajun place that has been a food truck for a while and is now opening up a brick and mortar restaurant with a full kitchen and everything. Many times a food truck is a stepping stone.

4. Why do hipsters seem to be drawn to food trucks that serve “Asian fusion”?
Because it is very easy to make a food truck and have it be asian fusion.

5. Wtf is Asian Fusion, and why do I want it served from a truck?
Because almost anything can be asian fusion.  Throw some sriracha on it and viola it is asian fusion. 

6. What is the strangest food truck you've ever seen and how did they make any money with a niche food item?
Hmmm… That is an interesting question. The most niche thing I have seen is Alice's Aebelskabels. (I think she is no longer in Columbus though, so this link might be a dead link soon) They are danish pancake balls.  Some are savory and some are sweet.  They are incredibly niche, but basically it is sweet or savory pancakes that are dippable, but super specific and niche.

7. Have you seen Chef? Did it want to make you become a food truck owner?
I did see it, or at least most of it.  It never really hooked me.  I am pretty sure that nothing could ever make me want to become a food truck owner. Long hours in a cramped space with weird environmental comfort (either too hot or too cold).  Nope, not for me.

8. What sort of food trucks do you wish there were more of, what sort of cuisine? 
I would love to see more food trucks that have specifically gluten free options, but that is because I need to be gluten free. I would love more options.

9. What sort of food would you NEVER order from a food truck? 
Any. Meat. On. A. Stick.

10. Does the Weinermobile count as a food truck? If it is not technically a food truck, how much would you pay to drive the Weinermobile for a few hours?
I do not believe the Weinermobile serves food.  I think it only has Oscar Meyer promotional gear for sale and no hot-dog makings to speak of. I think I would put up a fiver to drive it around a parking lot.

11. Why don't more food trucks look like food, like in the Richard Scarry books?
Umm… because those is weird vehics, yo.  Honestly, one is just an ear of corn with wheels on it.

12. Would you eat at a restaurant run by your favorite food truck?
Yes, yes I would.

13. If they served sloth meat at a food truck do you think it should be slow cooked?
One pot sloth and dumplings? 8 hours on low.  Yep. A food truck that just has 14 slow cookers in it of simmering sloth and little dollups of bread.  mmmm.

14. Can I have my own food truck? I would like it to have curry and roast beef with roast potatoes in it (on alternating days).
You can definitely have your own food truck.  You are golden for roast beef curry with or without potatoes. Heck it could be Orange Juice Bar and Curried Beef with Roast Potatoes. You could push it really further.  Really throw some stuff together on the back a converted U-Haul truck

15. Is there a food type that food trucks could not do?
Traditional Middle English roasting. One cannot roast a duck in a pig in a cow in a truck. (I would call the truck “Spitz” and it would look like the 1968 US Summer Olympic Team’s Opening Ceremony uniforms. The amount of meat you got would be ordered by the a number of gold medals… it is still in the concept phase)

16. Chef (which features food trucks) made me want to try a cubano, which I did. Have you had one, and if so, what are your thoughts?
I think I had one years and years ago.  It is a pressed ham and cheese sammich on a very specific type of bun.  When we were younger and I could eat bread, there was a cuban diner we went to occasionally with the geography grad students. They were not very good a choosing restaurants. This was fairly okay.

17. Which food truck provided you with the *gift* of intestinal struggles?
I have never gotten any bugs from a food truck (that I know of)  So, nothing as of yet.  There is still time though.

18. Being a celiac, which food trucks have options for those with food allergies?
There are a good list of local ones that I have found work out fairly well for me.  Most of them have really strong possibilities of cross-contamination, so if you are truly celiac or strongly allergic to gluten, there is a BIG chance that most food trucks will not be safe.  That being said,  I have found with food trucks the owner operators are really good at interacting with people with questions via social media or email.  I have facebook messaged and tweeted at many a food truck to see what is safe for me to consume. Most have a list that is handy, and a few just say nothing.  Today I had Loco No Moco Rice Bowl with Spam from Aloha Streatery.  They have marked very clearly on their menu what is GF and what is not.

19. Can you explain why food trucks can try such weird flavor combinations? Why do those combinations work?
Crazy flavor combos sometimes are magic. For example, the Loco No Moco Rice Bowl with Spam is a medium grain rice bowl with fried chunks of Spam, dice pineapple, a cilantro lime aioli, some Hawaiian bbq sauce (a small drizzle only) and chopped fresh cilantro.  I do not like pineapples and I am not super keen on Spam, but the first time I tried this, I decided to do what the menu suggested, and then the next time modify the order to my liking. Turns out, they had it right.  The pineapples really worked. It gave a hint of sweet to go witrh all the strong umami flavors going on. The saltinesss and the crispiness of the fried Spam were excellent counter-points to the relative softness of the rice and sauces. But it also could have not have worked.  Food trucks can get away with trying different things because since their location is transient, the menu can be somewhat transient as well.  Restaurants are destinations, whereas food trucks are much more happenstance.  If their menu does not work, they can, most likely, much more easily modify it than a restaurant.

20. If fuzzy wuzzy was a food truck, what food truck would fuzzy wuzzy be?
Well, I would shorten the name of the food truck to Fuji Wasa’i, and the truck would sell asian fusion sushi. My menu would be: 

Fuzi Wasa’i (Shrimp nigiri with choice of 2 sauces) 
Wasa’i Bear (Pork belly maki with choice of sauce)
Fusion Wasa’i (BBQ Pork nigiri with choice of 2 sauces)
Hadano Air (Salmon sashimi choice of sauce)
Fuji Wasa’i (yellowfin tuna uramaki roll with apple and choice of sauce)
Wasa’i Berry (filet mignon maki with a raspberry compote and choice of sauce)
Foo Sea Wasa’i (catch of the day uramaki roll and choice of sauce)

To recap:
That last one was difficult
Mainly because I don’t like sushi
And it is just silly beyond belief
I need to get to sleep
The wife took the red-eye from Cali last night and I picked her up at the airport at 5:20 this morning
I am the tireds
I need to start up the exercising again
The left knee is bothering me again
It sucks
I have a couple interviews going on right now
Hopefully there will be some interviews to post soon
Turns out Aaron Kuder is one of Marvel’s “Young Guns”
He is one of the best
Congrats to him
I am tired and this needs formatting
Holy crap!  This is 20 Questions Tuesday 400, isn't it?
Wow, I do not know how to celebrate stuff
Good night all and
Have a great weekend  
 

20 Questions Tuesday: 399 - 2018

It is still relatively the beginning of the New Year, so the topic for this week’s post is 2018.
Thanks this week go to Bruce, Chris Corrigan, Sandy, Nicole, Susan, and Some Other Guy.
Let’s do this.

1. Any resolutions?
Not really.  I try not to set things up for me to experience failure too much.

2. Upcoming projects or big plans for the new year?
I want to spend some time and get my Mag-Lite book off the ground.  I need to edit the hell out of it and place it in a real geography.  There are problems associated with this since I do not know good geographies for super hero settings. No one wants a superhero book set in Columbus, Ohio. I need to follow up with my New York and my Chicago friends to see where it should actually be set…. It seems like it is leaning towards NYC as a good setting. I know nothing of the NYC.

3. I’m heartbroken for you. How do you plan to celebrate the last year of the Crew in Columbus?
I am going to make sure I make it to some of the games this year. It will be sad to see them go… I am surprised that the league is allowing it to happen… now it seems that a stadium commitment only means 20 years.

4. If 2018 was a single pane illustration, what would it be?
Right now?  Blank with some sketchy lines in the lower left corner.

5. I’m coming to Columbus in 2018 and would like to hang out with you. Are you free on February 9 or 10th?
I would love that.  Let’s firm things up.

6. Will women take over government and start harassing men or lead this damn country?
Well, I don’t think it will happen in 2018, but I think it might start in 2018.

7. Are you looking forward to 2018?
I think so.  Why wouldn’t I be? Do you know something about this year that I don’t? If you do, you have to tell me!!!

8. Anything in specific that you would like to have happen in 2018?
Not that I can think of…. 

I might not be as excited about Black Panther as my wife though… She is inordinately interested in this movie…. almost troublingly so.

9. Does global warming actually exist?
Yes, it does.  Even though I like the term “climate change” more than “global warming” the overall average temperature of the is climbing, so it is getting warmer all over.  Just when that happens, certain areas might be colder day to day. In fact the cold-spell happening in the north east of North America is happening due to overall warmer temperatures weakening the “polar vortex” and jet streams that contain the cold weather at the poles.  This weakening of that wall allows for pseudopods of super cold air to reach down into places and make them extremely cold, while opening up the polar area for warmer temps to intrude.

10. What will your new theme song be for 2018?
That is an excellent question.  I am not sure I can answer it just yet, mainly because I would like to hear some new music to grab onto this year. Otherwise it will be Men at Work’s "Who Can it Be Now" for the 17th year running, and nobody (especially me, sweet mother of god, make it stop) wants that to happen.

11. What are you, specifically you, doing to make 2018 suck less than 2017? 
Well, I have been more politically active than ever before, I think that will continue, but in all honesty, I might start pulling away from social media more. It is a club that has a room for Nazis, and I would not shop at a store that had a section of an aisle set aside for Nazis.  It's a great store, but it has an aisle of Nazi propaganda.  I mean, I don't have to buy it, so it's not an issue, right?... that I go to a store that profits off of selling Nazi propaganda? Right? I am not sure I should frequent an online place that has places set aside for Nazis.

12. Do we have it in us to weather another years of slings and arrows? 
We have to, I mean, what choice do we really have?

13. What celebrities do we think won’t make it until next year? 
The sexully assaulty kind.  I think there is a change in the air, and some people are just not ready for it. Pretty soon, they will no longer be celebrities, and I am OK with that.

14. What will be the biggest change for your family that you see in the next year? 
My oldest will be officially old enough to get his learners permit and start to learn how to drive. That hurts, because that means I am the old now.

15. 2018 is the year of the dog—what do you think that will mean for us all?
I believe I can sum up my feelings by saying that I hope at the end of the year I can say,”Who’s a good year? Who’s a good year? Were you a good year? You know you were a good year, don’tcha? Ooooooh, gonna rub that good year’s belly.  Gonna rub that good year’s belly. Whose belly is getting rubbed? A good year!  That’s whose!  A good year’s getting its belly rubbed.”

16. Where would you like to travel in 2018?
Almost anywhere really. Any of the places that I am not against visiting. We are trying to figure out a place to vacation with the family this year.  Maybe not for the summer, like the last 3 years, but maybe for the holidays.

17. What is something you are not going to do in 2018?
There are many things I am not going to do. Not going to sky-dive or bungee jump.  That’s dumb, yo.

18. What is one creative thing you want to do with 2018?
Seriously, get the Mag-Lite book in good order. It needs a good strong update and geography pass. Good bones, but needs some strong editing and updating. I would like to get it to a point that I would not be completely embarrassed to let Lsig, DrBDawg, and pfmDesigner read it and give input.

19. What is one technology you hope to embrace in 2018?
I would love to get the smart home lights in the basement working again.  Maybe I need to try a different system, switching to the Hue bulbs might be good and allow the basement to be all mood lit... like a submarine running silently... ooooooh

20. What is something you want to learn more about in 2018?
I would like to get a better understanding of the transaction model associated with blockchains. I think I understand the mining aspect and the whole speculative crypto currency model, but I am having an issue with the transaction part of the system.

To recap:
Holidays are very hard to publish through
There is just so much going on and such
I am even 2 days late for this week’s post which is already a week late
It’s just difficult to keep up with posting on a regular schedule since I got Sid Meier’s Civilization VI for Christmas

Currently I am going for a tech win as the Japanese against the Australians who love me and the Spanish who hate me for a reason I have not figured out as of yet
Yes, I too was surprised that the Aussies were a civilization in Civ VI
Firaxis!  You have ruined me!!!!
RUINED ME AND MY MARRIAGE AND MY ABILITY TO PARENT
I love my air fryer though
MMMMMMMMM crispy fries
I need to wash it though so I can make the girl some popcorn shrimp tomorrow
A 9 yr old girl needs her popcorn shrimp, yo!
So, late last week my mom had eye surgery
I did not know about said surgery until my dad sent me a text saying that it went great
Now my mom is wearing an eye-patch and hopefully talking like a pirate
Have a great rest of the week everyone
 

20 Questions Tuesday: 398 - Christmas Shopping

Tis the season for Christmas shopping, so I have asked my intrepid question askers for questions concerning Christmas Shopping… I think I did something like this last year as well.  Yep… 20 Questions Tuesday: 371 - Holiday Shopping from December 16, 2016... and 20 Questions Tuesday: 305 - Holiday Shopping from December 9, 2014.  I am nothing if not repetitive. Turns out I was way more politically correct last year. “Holiday Shopping” to “Christmas Shopping?” I guess the war on Christmas is truly over. I hope we can start screwing over the veterans of the War on Christmas like we do all the other combat veterans in the US.  Thank you for your service, your health care is shit.

Anyhoo… I am nothing if not repetitive. Maybe I should research topics before I ask for questions...

Thanks this week go to Mike, Chris Ring, Lsig, Bruce Finch, Jared, Jayne, Erin, Nicole, and my Mother-in-Law (guess which questions were hers). (no links to peeps because I am the lazy today)

Onto the questions!

1. When is it considered too early to think about christmas shopping? I know people who get half of it done in August. I don't like those people.
Well, those people are monsters… inhuman monsters. Early Christmas present buying is a terrible trait and should be shut down.

2. What proportion of christmas presents that you receive were actually picked out by you? Does that ruin the surprise? Does it matter?
About 80%... which is not a bad thing.

3. How much of your christmas shopping is done online and delivered to your house?
About 80%

4. Black Friday: Yes (no) or Hell No?
Hell No.

5. What was the last thing you re-gifted? Why? 
I have not re-gifted anything in a very long time.  I don’t think I remember what it was or to whom it went.

6. I loathe Christmas shopping, any tips to make it more bearable?
Online for the win

7. Do you venture out for Black Friday shopping?
Nope, Black Friday is a day meant for monsters... and I am not a moster

8. Do your kids submit detailed lists? (Does your spouse?).
We do this listing via Pinterest boards. It can get relatively granular on there. We all have pinterest boards.... mine is super anemic right now.  I hope to have it populated by Friday.

9. Is Christmas "too commercial"?
Nope, just commercial enough. Christmas hits that sweet spot for commericality (I kid... this is horrible)

10. What is your fondest memory of a Christmas gift someone bought for you?
Fondest is an interesting feeling to search for.  

11. Do you get items wrapped at the store or do you take them home to wrap?
We wrap all the gifts at the house.  Very rarely will we get anything wrapped for us.

12. How early & how late in the season do you do your shopping?
Pretty much the month of December.

13. Anyone that is really difficult to shop for?
Me… I am terrible to shop for. I never know what I want and can't articulate it when I do find something I want.

14. Is cash or gift cards ok or should all gifts be more personal?
Cash and gift cards are always acceptable.  We try not to get things that people have to throw away

15. Can you shop online and never visit a real store?
About 80%

16. Why do my children want the most obscure things ever?
Children are evil, vile creatures that only concern themselves with their dumb wants and needs.  They do not consider cost or difficulty in what they ask for.  My daughter wants a horse… we live in an area that is not horse friendly and some horses cost more than some cars, yet everyday she asks for one.

17. Do you prefer the shop from a wish list or look around for things that remind you of the giftee? 
About 80% wish list

18. What gift(s) are appropriate for friends and family who celebrate Hanukkah?
Any gift that would be okay for Christmas would be be fine for Hanukkah… except for a Christmas ham. One should not necessarily expect to give gifts on all seven days though.

19. Are you getting me something wonderful? A new car? All expense paid trip to Maine? 
You will get what we have given you for the past year or so… the ability to live in our backyard.

20. Are those are the important Christmas shopping questions?
Well… until 19, they were pretty solid.

To recap:
I have done no shopping as of yet
I just heard someone say “I’d rather be Santa Claus than Superman”
I heartily agree
The wife is in Nova Scotia for 10 days
That is a looong time
(Editor’s note: I am publishing this on Wednesday because I could not get it finished yesterday) 
I think getting glasses has made my eyes realize how hard they were working
Theys some tired eyes
My dad had shoulder surgery yesterday (again)
He says they might need to replace the shoulder with a ceramic one
He already has ceramic knees
And a pacemaker
They say he’s more machine than man anymore
More machine than man with none of the superhuman powers
Pretty sure with all the replacement surgeries and whatnot that my dad is somewhere around at least a $1,000,000 man
Maybe pushing $2 mil already
That’s it from here
Except that the Punisher Marvel Netflix series is the most solid and best Marvel series they have made
Have a great week everyone