The work bat cometh

So, at the moment, I am not sure whether the "work bat" is a bludgeoning tool swung by sadistic project managers, or a genetically mutated gargantuan flying mammal of blood-sucking. Either way wood product of flying leech, it ain't pretty. Sadly, I am of the opinion that this particular work bat in question is the scary scary flying kind with the loud flapping of leathery wings. I have a meeting at 9 am today that should determine just how little free-time that myself and my 2 intrepid cartographers have in the near future. My bet is: not a whole heckuva lot. Stupid work bats with their fangs and their screeching. Why oh why can't it be the Louisville Slugger type of work bat?

Anyway... I was talking with a friend here at work, and the topic of the Cheesecake Factory came up. She was having Cheesecake Factory cravings even though she had only been to said "factory" once. Oddly enough, last night during a phone call with my best friend who is living in Colorado Springs we chatted about the Cheesecake Factory as well. These conversations got me thinking.... The Cheesecake Factory does not actually manufacture its cheesecakes on the premises. In fact they do not actually make "their" cheesecakes at all. A second company bakes all of their cheesecakes and sells them to the "Factory" frozen. Maybe the Cheesecake Factory should be called the A Cheesecake Thawing and Serving Restaurant? Just for clarity's sake.

Anyway 2... The little one finally figured out what to do with writing implements. He has taken a step into the greater world of self expression. Instead of merely chewing on pens and pencils for nutritive sustenance, he found out that one end of writing implements will make marks when pressed against a surface. This surface happened to be the tile floor in our kitchen, instead of the myriad of papers and coloring books we have attempted to teach him to use, but that is secondary to his discovery.

Anyway 3… HGTV is starting to get a bit boring. They are relying too much on the save 6 shows. Design on a Dime, Divine Design, Decorating Cents, Designers Challenge, Landscapers Challenge and Decorating Cents. Yes, I know I already said Decorating Cents, but they have that show on, all the Goddamn time! Let’s see, how do I describe each of these shows?

Design on a Dime: There is a severely limited budget ($1000) and this team of three people has to update a room within that budget. It is an okay show, but there is an A Team and a B Team. If I got shafted with the B Team, I would complain loudly.
Divine Design: Candice Olsen, the gargantuan Canadian designer (she is like 8 ft 3 in) renovates rooms where money is no object and people are looking for style that will be so trendy that it will be out-of-date by the time the camera crews leave. Side note: Chico is the Man!
Designer’s Challenge: People who have more money than taste have 3 designers pitch ideas to them about renovating one room in their house. They usually pick the crappiest of the 3 pitches.
Landscapers Challenge: Other people who have more money than taste have 3 landscapers come up with ways to make their yards look pretty for a mere budget of $50,000. However will the landscapers come up with something for such a pittance?
And finally… Decorating Cents: or how to make crap with shit. It is on the list 2 times because it sucks so bad and is soo frikking cheap that they play it all the time. Every 3rd show is Decorating Cents.

Why HGTV!!!! WHY!?!!

So to recap:

The Work Bat is a warm-blooded bloodthirsty winged furry monster that will eventually kill me. Heavy work loads make baby Jesus cry. The Cheesecake Factory is neither a factory nor a cheesecake, discuss. commercials are playing up the “big O” a bit too much. The little one enjoyed drawing for a bit yesterday. HGTV is getting a bit boring lately. So in review, the channels from basic cable that have started to suck: Discovery Channel, TLC, History Channel, History International, and now HGTV. My life is an empty husk of work.