The need for speed


Today's post will have to be done in a rather short period of time. That does not mean that it will definitely be a short post. To the contrary, it may be a laboriously long post that rambles on about nothing. In fact, if preceding posts are any sort of indication, that will most definitely be the case. Has anything of any import ever really been delivered to you, the reader, by me, the blogger, via this medium? I think not. More to the point, does this blogger have anything even remotely useful to humanity at large? Again, I think not. If that is so, and I suggest that it is, in fact, so, why do I continue to write in this, the most impersonal and useless of communication devices? Well, I will tell you in extreme exactitude why. Because useless crap needs to be discussed ad nauseum.

For instance, where are all the action shows on TV. The 80's were chock full of them. The poster child of said action shows was the A-Team. It announced its actionness via the bullet holes during the splash screen intro. Bullet holes denote action. I guess the modern equivalent to the 80's action show would be something like JAG, but JAG muddies the action waters by occasionally including courtroom drama. My action should not take place in a courtroom. Courtroom drama is what Law & Order is for. Other 80's action shows included, but are not limited to, Magnum PI, Simon and Simon, and The Equalizer (Side note: since the actual character that considered himself "the Equalizer" was British, shouldn't he have been called "the Equaliser"?). Anyway.... the action show is missing at the moment. ChiPs was not a police detective show, it was an action show, albeit a car crash action show.

What do we have now? CSI? CSI Miami? CSI Topeka, KS? Those are "who-done-it" mystery shows, they lack a certain "je ne sais crois." Actually, je sais crois, it is SHOOT-EM UP! It is the glorified violence that I crave, where the bad guys are all killed or captured, and none of the main good guys were ever harmed. The A-Team always had to fabricate a tank out of some oil drums and a golf cart, for their climactic battle at the end of the show. Invariably Magnum had to punch someone, kill some thugs or tackle the bad guy at the end of his show. MacGuyver had to immobilize someone with a balloon full of Cheezewhiz, duct tape, and gum at the end of his show. Someone was always whacked by the end of the Equalizer. Simon and Simon (could brothers BE any different? I think not) would always end in fisticuffs with the bad guys. Airwolf would always swoop in and blow up the bad guys' compound or take down the bad guy's flying ace's at the end of the show. Sure the good guys win in the myriad of CSI shows, but the interrogation room is not where I want my action to take place.

I am sure some of you are thinking, but what about 24? or Lost? Well, 24 is probably top be considered a good action show, but it would be better if it were called a day in the life of Jack Bauer and then we watched an entire day unfold in the uncut hour. But wait, doesn't that ruin the gimmick of the show? The gimmick was tired after the first season. No one, and I do mean no one, can do all of that crap in only 24 hours. If the show takes longer than 2 weeks to film, it cannot take place in a 24 hour time span. Get over it. By now the government would just say, "Whatever you say, Jack." Instead of, he is such a renegade; we need to control him, blah, blah, blah.

Anyway... I have to get back to work