Turns out Gargamel was building up an Air Force

It is about time someone wipe the smile off of Jokey Smurf’s face. The Smurf’s, child beloved cartoon of the 80’s” have been carpet bombed by un-known forces. It looks like most of the named smurfs have been smurfed and only the un-named masses remain. So let this be a requiem for Hefty, Handy, Papa Smurf, Smurfette, Jokey, Bashful, Clockwork, Clumsy, Cobbler, Dabbler, Dreamy, Editor, Farmer, Flighty, Grandpa, Greedy, Harmony, Lazy, Marco, Miner, Nanny, Nat, Nosey, Painter, Poet, Pushover, Sassette, Sickly, Scaredy, Sloppy, Slouchy, Sweepy, Tailor, Timber, Toughy, Tracker, Vanity, Weakling, Weepy, Wild, and Wooley Smurfs. All I have to say is, “It is about smurfin’ time!”

For the love of smurf and all that’s smurfy, the smurfs have had this coming for a while. Finally the GAF (Gargamel Air Force) has opted for the Smurfy Final Solution. We all know that in the heavily capitalistic 80’s these little blue freaks were simply trying to undermine America’s youth with their blatantly socialist and homosexual lifestyles. Their attempts have failed, and more than that they have been smurfed from the smurf of the smurf. From smurf to smurf there is not a smurfy bit of smurf culture left to further smurf the culture. Not only did the USSR fail to bring down America, neither did the Smurfs.

We all knew, growing up, that “smurf” actually meant “fuck.” “Fuck” is the only word in the modern English language that can be used as a noun, verb, adjective, adverb, interjection, and sometimes prepostion. Since “smurf” is also used for all parts of speech, I believe it’s only synonym to be “fuck.” When you replace “smurf” with “fuck” you can clearly see the free love socialist homosexual society that blighted humanity in the 80’s.

To recap:
If Peyo read this, I am sure he would weep, while filing lawsuit
Little Man has no knowledge of the Smurfs
We all know that Handy and Hefty were doing it, they were a couple from day one
3 apples high? Maybe 3 sheets to the wind
Azreal was a pathetic excuse for a cat
Gummi Bears was a much better cartoon
If the Smurfs were a blatantly homosexual socialist society, what the smurf were the Snorks about?