Fowl Holiday 05

Fowl Holiday 05 has come and went. There is a dearth of stories associated with this holiday meal. Turns out that with so many people there that my parental units still felt like they needed to impress, they were pretty innocuous the whole visit. I really wish there were more stuff to chat about, but the parents were very well behaved. It seems that when my best friend from high school, my mom-in-law, and new sister-in-law are in the house, my parents wish to keep up the façade that they are “nice” people.

Okay, the good people that I work with (not those bad ones, you bastards can rot in Hell!!) have been having some questions about the official stance I have taken on my Parents about them being “good people” not “nice people.” I will endeavor today to explain this stance in a bit more detail.

My parents are good people not nice people (thesis statement). In this I mean, they are not felons, they pay their taxes, they go to church, and they do all the things that people do to stay in good standing with society at large. Dad is involved with his city government’s emergency preparedness and emergency response. He is active in the Boy Scout Troop of my brother’s and my youths. He is a member of the church chancellery choir. Mom teaches piano lessons. She is a substitute music teacher. She is the director of the church’s hand-bell choir. She is also a member of the church’s chancellery choir. These two are the typical sub-urbanites.

The problem is that they are not nice people. By this I mean that they are very judgmental. They tend to discredit anything they do not understand. They are, in the simplest terms, unhappy. They are unhappy because they cannot accept their faults. They lash out due to this unhappiness and become, oh, how shall I say, sanctimonious jerks. They are very difficult to be around, because of the arrogance they use to hide their insecurities. Mom & Dad are terribly afraid that people will find out that they are not perfect. I know it is surprising that they are not perfect, like everyone else is.

A few examples of their judgmental sides. 1. If someone buys a better car than my parents have, then those people care too much about their cars. 2. If someone buys a larger/nicer house than my parents have, then those people are snooty fro trying to live in a better neighborhood. 3. If someone buys themselves a toothbrush instead of using the one that the dentist gave them, then that person is really bad with money. 4. If someone were to place their personal priorities differently than my parents, then those people are idiots.
If someone goes on a vacation that does not involve visiting family, those people don’t love their family (not a personal experience... yet, but they do not know about our drive to Philadelphia)

They are also not generous people. My parents are not the people who wish others a good morning. At Halloween, when I was growing up, they would “let” kids get a handful of pennies from a ceramic pumpkin. Sure the opening to the pumpkin kept kids from getting more than 15 cents. I am surprised our house was not egged more often. Lets be clear, this not merely a money thing, it is a spiritual and intellectual lack of generosity as well.

I say this knowing that they did the absolute best they could raising my brother and I with the skills that they had on hand. If they had more skills at the time, they would have used them, because they did and do love me. Their problem lies with not being able to accept their imperfections. Ergo, they are unhappy judgmental jerks.

That being said, Little Man was the hit of the holiday. He got along swimmingly with G-Money. By the end of the holiday weekend G-Money was singing and doing a little bit of dancing with Little Man. All of you who know G-Money, just marvel at the amazing Little Man’s powers. The trips to and from Cincinnati were boring as all get out .

To recap: Menu Items in blue
Nothing really happened worth commenting on or remembering for that matter
I am sure there are some depressed folks out there in cyber-land due to the relative blandness of my holiday
We are moving Little Man to the Big Boy Bed this week
Stuffing from the bird
It looks like it could be a heart-warming success (he seems to like the bed in his room)
Slow Cooker Stuffing (mushroom and basil)
G-Money and I moved the computer from the attic into the 3rd bedroom
Side Stuffing (sausage stuffing)
It is much warmer in the 3rd bedroom than in the attic
Fat back green beans
Green beans need… nay, deserve to be served with bacon
Hoping to have more funny stories as the week progresses
Not much else to chat about… maybe tomorrow
Mashed potatoes
It was a good holiday
Pecan Pie
Little Man should be napping in his Big Boy Bed this afternoon
Pumpkin Pie
I am getting fat… ter
Pumpkin spice cupcakes
I have decided that I really do not like roast turkey all that much
But I do love me some whipped cream