Vertigoddess, thy name is Wifey

Today we have a guest blog appearance from, none other than, Wifey.

So without further ado, Wifey speaks:

I just wanted to take over SRH’s blog today so that I could send a personal thank you out to the folks who sent good wishes for my vertigo-induced madness last week. I was not able to look much at a computer screen without having waves of nausea and general headachiness until yesterday, but it was pretty cool to see all the warm thoughts. Of course, I know that some of the well-wishes were given simply with the knowledge that I keep my crazy husband off the streets at night, and so in wishing me health you were really wishing yourselves health. I’m okay with that.

But what I am not okay with is the description of vertigo that SRH linked to when discussing my “condition”. Here it is:

“Benign paroxysmal positional vertigo is an inner ear problem that causes a spinning or whirling sensation when you move your head (emphasis mine). That sensation is called vertigo. This vertigo usually lasts for less than a minute. It may be mild, or it may be bad enough to cause nausea.”

Okey dokey, my problem with this description is the combination of the words it occurs when you move your head and usually lasts for less than a minute. I think that this description is asinine. I would like to challenge you to NOT move your head before a minute is over. In the case of vertigo, moving your head includes breathing or blinking because both of those send the room spinning.

So when it says, occurs when you move your head and lasts for less than a minute – it should say “You know when you lay down after getting really drunk and the room spins? Yeah, that’s how it feels. Constantly. Without ceasing. Without any of the pleasure that usually accompanies drinking. It’s just a fucking room spinning, vomit party at your house when vertigo comes to visit.” That would be a more appropriate description.

Thank you for the forum. I wish you all a vertigo-free existence.

SRH again, I feel a bit remiss about not posting better information about this whole BPPV thing. I grabbed the tried and true WebMD page, made sure it did not say “fatal condition” and linked it. I should have done just a bit more research to get a better description of the severity of my wife’s illness. I am a thoughtless oaf.

To recap:
BPPV is like the after effects of going on a bender, without wondering who you called at 4 am or where your pants are
Wifey has more of a constitution than you might think
Even though she was nauseated beyond belief, she kept the stomach from expelling its contents
I am a quick linking, thoughtless oaf
Snow today high in the low 30’s (.5556 ° C-ish, 273.7056 K-ish)
High in the 50’s tomorrow ( 11.667 ° C-ish, 284.8167 K-ish)
My head is hurting and my sinuses are killing me
She really is a goddess
Maybe not the goddess of vertigo, but one none-the-less