20 Questions, all over the place

I have little time today to create a post of my own, so it is 20 question time again. Thank you to all who contributed to this list of questions. If I did not use one of your questions, please feel free to be offended. They were questions for a blog, get over yourself.

1. Eskimos have been living in ice houses called igloos for a LONG time.This is what they do. Why do people think it is so spectacular that magician David Blaine lived in a block of ice for a week. Is this really 'magic'? What happened to pulling vermin out of a hat and sawing ho's in half? Is magic as we know it dead?

To the first part of Question 1: People like David Blaine because he is soft spoken and has smooth baby soft skin

To the second part of Question 1: There was an ancient Babylonian prophecy surrounding the followers of Marduk that stated, “As goes Dug Hennig, so dies the magic of the world.” So, I can only assume that
Magic is dead since Doug Henning is no more. That and the magician who showed how to do all the tricks on Fox.

Why can’t prophets spell things correctly?

2. If money was no object, do you prefer Kraft Mac’n’Cheese, or Velveeta Shells’n’Cheese?

Even with money being an object, Kraft all the way. Velveeta Shells’n’Cheese has a bad aftertaste.

3. Who, in their right mind, doesn't want to be known as a "dingle dorkus"?

Robert Dingleton Dorkustein III, that’s who.

4. Why would anyone give their bologna a first name? Let alone a last name?

People have an odd fascination with anthropomorphizing their food and then eating it. I think it harkens back to our hunter gatherer days in the Stone Age. We gave animal totems god-like qualities and then ate them. It all has to do with power over what you are consuming. By eating this bologna, I, in some ways gain power over some man named Oscar Meyer.

5. If geeks traveled in large groups, what would they be called? a gaggle? a pack? a horde??? And would the same word be used to describe a large group of nerds? You can buy large quantities of nerds...they taste good! I don't think you can say the same thing for geeks, or can you???

I think it depends on what geeks to which you are referring. In general, for alliteration purposes, it should be a “Gaggle of Geeks.” Most times when there is, indeed a large group of geeks, it is called a “Gaming/Comic Book/Computer Convention of Geeks.” So, aside from the alliteration reasons for “gaggle,” it should be a “Convention.” Unless it is 40 computer geeks, then it is a “Raid of Geeks.”

A large group of nerds is considered a “Murder of Nerds.”

If Willy Wonka made geeks they would taste great, but alas… Oddly, this is not the first time I have been asked this.

6. Why is blue a rare color in nature? I'm not talking about the "blue" one gets with light refraction through air/water.

It is not so rare, naked Scotsmen are pale blue, and there are a bunch of those fuckers.

7. What is the most annoying sound in the Universe?

Wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww- rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr- aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa- cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc- kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk- ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo- wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!

8. If history repeats itself, does that mean that time is circular? Everyday is repeated but on an infinite number of time planes? Is every Jan 17th being repeated as we speak?

Funny you should ask. No one has really demonstrated conclusively that time is in fact continually propogating from one point onto infinity in the opposite direction. It could very well be that much like height, width, and length (the 3 dimensions that we are most comfortable with) time could, in fact, double in on itself to create loops and other complex geometric “shapes.” Much like height, width, and length seem to vary, I think time does as well. It would explain why dejá vues occur as well as why some days seem to fly by, and some days seem to drag on and on and on. So while I think time is not necessarily linear, I also do not think that "every Jan 17th" is "being repeated as we speak," so to say.

9. If you started a single elimination - to the death - tournament, consisting of all land mammals, who would win and why? I know lions are the king of the jungle but could they really take out a grizzly bear? My money would be on the wolverine. small but deadly.

While the wolverine is a good choice (“The only one that kills for pleasure!”), my bet is on Chuck Norris. To steal a phrase: Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep… he waits.

10. Why does asparagus make your pee smell funny? and can't they use technology to make it smell like roses?

I don’t eat asparagus, I have no knowledge of what you speak. I would imagine that asparagus, in this sense, is much like BASF. It doesn’t make you pee stink, it makes your pee stink more.

11. Would you rather have a magic food machine by your desk or a manservant to fetch whatever you wanted?

Manservant, most definitely. I would name him Wentworth. “Wentworth, my soup is cold.” Yeah, a manservant named Wentworth.

12. Favorite Cake?

Motorcade of Generosity, followed closely by Fashion Nugget

13. Telekinesis or ESP?

Telekinesis Baby! I would love to shoot mind bullets!

14. What's your favourite celestial body, not counting our sun or moon?

Sirius, the Dog Star. It is the Dog Star, ‘nuff said
--edit-- This just in, I have been instructed to say "

15. Let's assume for a moment that you're off this silly kick of not ingesting caffeine. If Mountain Dew was no longer available anywhere on the planet, what would be your substitute?

Umm, next question please, next question!!!

16. Who cut your hair? Why did you get it cut that way?

Jay cut my hair, and he is surprisingly heterosexual, go figure. I got it cut this way because I was tired of it being longer.

17. Is there a philosophical reason why the weather in Central Ohio sucks?

Philisophically, no. Meteorologically and geomorphalogically, yes.

18. Someone has arranged for you to marry one of two people who are soon to undergo a gender-transformation procedure: Arnold Schwarzenegger and Rudolf Giuliani. You live in a state where polygamy is legally permitted. In fact, it is encouraged. You have no choice but to marry either, or both; otherwise, you will be put to death by the cumulative effects of wasp stings administered at pseudo-random intervals for the next twelve years. Whom do you choose?

Giuliani, for sure, he will die sooner. As God as my witness, he will die sooner!

19. Are you gonna have more kids or what??

Whilst Little Man is quite the cute and loveable child, Wifey and I have a loaded genetic gun that gives us great amounts of trepidity. See, Wifey contributes asthma, and I contribute food allergies. More kids for us? Definitely not at the moment.

20. Favorite piece of playground equipment?


To Recap:
Busy, busy, busy today
Thanks for all the questions
I have renderings to do
Feel free to answer these questions on your own, or ask me some