In progress...

The funny thing about my job is just how much time I have on my hands whilst being insanely busy. “Doesn’t that smell of a paradox?” Yes, yes it does dear reader. You see the work I do involves fuck tons worth of data, but I have to squeeze that data through these teeny tiny silicon chips in my computer case and these flimsy little wires attached to my computer. It is akin to eating a sandwich through a straw. I ask my computer to do something and then wait 5 minutes for it to do it (I know my employees are pulling their hair out because their pc’s are slower than mine.) I am constantly waiting on progress bars to grow to their exciting 100% potential.

Yep, I watch a progress bar that indicates where the computer is in its processing of my data commands a whole bunch. Some of the bars that pop up in the center of my screen are a nice cold medium gray that gets filled from left to right with an almost royal blue. Some are light gray bars that are slowly replaced by segmented neon green bars. Others do not pop-up in the middle of my screen, but show progress in the lower left corner of the program that I am working in. Who is to say which progress bar works better, I hate them all. I am pretty sure that at this job that I have had for 6.5 years, I have been watching progress bars for at least 2 years total. This is not the type of activity that keeps one, as the military would say, active, mobile, and hostile. I am inactive, immobile, and docile, Ooh-rah!

Currently I am asking my computer to send some crap to print out, and waiting 5 minutes for it to finish processing the file. I lead an exciting life. No really, but this excitement in my life does allow me to write to all of you dear readers collectively. So, at least I got that going for me.

Little Man has decided that beef and wild rice casserole eaten with tortilla chips is the best food that God in Heaven has ever sent down to this mortal world. To Little Man, Manna from heaven is like angelic dandruff compared to some quick cook wild rice mixed with condensed tomato soup and ground beef. We had to make more last night after we battled for sleep. He at 2.5 ate more of it than me at 31. I actually think he would have eaten more if there were any more to be eaten. Just as an FYI to all of you out there in blogsville, it is not a real bite if you don’t have to use your fingers to push things into your mouth.

To recap
I am at 80%
Ooh-Rah! Is much more intimidating than Har-hoo!
Wild Rice and Beef casserole is better than anything in the whole wide world
I should not have kept said casserole away from my boy for so long, for this I will pay.
My favorite progress bar changes according to the day and my mood: I am a man of deep aesthetic sensibilities.
Seeing yourself on a video is a weird, perverse torture unless you are a megalomaniacal actor or news anchor.
The chance of anything is always 50-50.
Probability that I’m getting lucky tonight – 0, but at least I got a 50-50 chance