Dancing, Dancing, Dancing... Danciong Machine!

Of the non-speed skating events at the Olympics, the ice-dancing is the best of the lot. Bear in mind that to me that is not saying much. I do not like it but I recognize that it is the best of the lot. Don’t get me wrong, I understand the artistry and the athleticism of singles and pairs figure skating, but it seems to me that those events are just waiting for the next, more spectacular jump to be added into the routines. Much like Olympic gymnastics, the grace and artistry seems to be replaced by raw athleticism and power. Ice dancing, however, tends to still hold on to the more artistic and graceful elements. Ice dancing is the pairs figure skating from the 1940’s.

In ice dancing the flavor of the routines are determined for the show. Last night everyone was doing something with “Latin Flair.” I ask the IOC and International Association of Free Mason Ice Dancers, or whatever their governing body is, to either get rid of their music choices and let the competitors decide what they want to “dance” to, or dress them all up in big furry animal costumes and “dance” to kids music. We all know these people will eventually wind up in some god-forsaken kid’s ice show like “Care Bears on Ice” or some such crap. Let’s just cut out the middle man. In 5 years, you know that the skating Mickey and Minnie from Disney’s Ice Capades will be some Olympic hopeful from “Tourino ’06.” “They were 2 points away from the bronze, I guess they will be starting their giant ice dancing animal careers soon. Too bad about that fall, because ‘JoJo’s Circus on Ice’ won’t hire non-medalists.”

…and where in the Shire are Augustos and Belbin from. Augustos must be a Took from Bucktown, but I would imagine that Belbin is either a Sackville Baggins or a Brandybuck from Bree. She always has seemed like she was from the other side of the river. Uppity little trolip. I am sure the hobbits have been curious as to why 2 “big people” have been living around them, and dancing on ice, but those names are clearly hobbit names. There had to be some interbreeding. Although, Augustos seems to be too tall, and Belbin does not have the furry feet common to hobbits to really be considered hobbitish. Well, she doesn’t have the furry feet yet, but when she plays Sunshine Bear in the Care Bears on Ice, she will be sporting some furry feet. Big yellow furry feet.

To recap:
Olympians need better career planning
Even the ones with jobs seem to only work at home depot
God, I am a Tolkien Geek
I would give the gold to ice dancers dressed as Elmo and Zoe
Better yet, Bert and Ernie
I cain’t quit you, Bert! I cain’t quit you!
Tacos for dinner
Little Man will be pleased
It is good to please Little Man