To Do

I have much to do this weekend. It seems with my brawny self that I am too strong for the toilet’s flushing mechanism. That is right. I am quite the brute. I broke the flusher. Single-handedly. No, really, with one hand. Now my “To Do” list is longer. Yippee! So, in addition to the massive amounts of laundry we have to do, the veritable plethora of cleaning (can you use the word “plethora” without “veritable” before it? Why am I even asking, I know the answer is “No.”), and the maxin’ and relaxin’ I require, I now have to fix the flusher. Luckily it is a relatively simple task, but it does require a trip to the local hardware store. Again, Yippee!

So in my never ending – hardly beginning quest for better health, I will also be going to the gym this Saturday for a work out extravaganza. Hopefully, on Sunday morning we will be able to go for a hike with Little Man. So on top of the massive mountains of laundry, the “veritable plethora” of cleaning, the repair of the crushed flusher, and my required “maxin’ and relaxin,” I also need to add in some exercising. You see, my pants are getting a bit snug in places where snugness is not attractive. Moreover, they are getting snug in places that are definitely not comfortable with added snugness. I would rather lose the weight instead of going shopping for more clothes. I honestly do not know which would take more effort.

So, we are also running out of edibles in the pantry. So this weekend we also need to make a trip to the food store so’s we can cook us up some vittles. This also requires us to make a menu and plan the week’s meals out as well. Therefore, this weekend I have to summit Mount Laundry, accomplish a “veritable plethora” of cleaning, repair the flusher I ripped out of the porcelain god with my bare hands (not my “bear” hands… no thumb on those bad boys, they are only good for the swatting of the salmon), exercise my lazy ass, plan a menu, grab some “vittles” for the making of food, and my required “maxin’” and “relaxin’” to boot. This is turning out to be a busy weekend; especially with all the maxin’ and relaxin’ I have in mind.

To recap
Little Man fights sleep like sleep wants to scratch all his DVD’s
Conquer Mt. Laundry
If Sleep did scratch all Little Man’s DVD’s I would be opening a can of Whup-ass on good ole Morpheus myself
A “veritable plethora” of cleaning
I would bring it like a hammer
Accommodate a commode
Little Man will be getting a caboose for his home train this weekend
Sweat profusely on a device meant to torture 20 year olds
I will be sore on Monday
Plan food for the week
Our next three pets will be named Commander Sisko, The Lizard King, and Ultra-Man
Buy food for the week
We need to get some portraits of Little Man done
“C” is for cookie, that’s good enough for me
And Tony rolls a 1