20 questions, cause I am uninspired

Okay, due to lack of motivation, I will be doing 20 questions again. Stop grumbling

1. Is there a type of question I could ask that would guarantee my inclusion?

Well, responding to my call for questions puts you in the running. Responding quickly boosts your chances. Responding first… guaranteed.

2. Oday ouyay eakspay igpay atinlay?

Atwhay, inay ethay Ellhay isa isthay apcray? Iyay antcay eadray isthay…Ohyay, itshay, ownay iyay amyay oingday ityay.

3. If there's a story of a broken heart for every light on Broadway, does that explain population spikes following power outages?

Well, not exactly. If all the lights broke during the outage, then sure, but just because the power goes out does not mean that the lights were broken. Now there is typically a baby boom 9 months after a major outage. I think it is due to people have idle time on their hands, if you know what I mean, /wink /wink /nudge /nudge a wink’s as good as a nudge, KnowwhatImean? KnowwhatImean?

4. If you could ride shotgun in the mind of anyone from any time, who would you pick, and why?

Ride shotgun or place shotgun against? Oh ride… ummmm… that is a toughy. I already have the other list prepared. Well, I would have to pick an English speaker, because I don’t want to be couped up in anyone’s skull and not speak the language. That certainly narrows it… I would choose him...

5. Eggplant or pi?

but eggplant is purple... 154269854782236985422365311578964565...

6. Is Easter becoming the spring version of Christmas with respect to gift giving?

It kind of is. Let me clarify, At Christmas time people do not get each other things for the Spring to come. A spring gift shouldn’t be given in December. Also since there are now “easter trees” that folks decorate with eggs and baskets hold as much as stockings, we’ve pretty much gotten rid of the religious significance of this holiday as well.

7. Why is it so hard for people to see beyond their abusive/compulsive relationships/lives?

People typically do not enter into a relationship that is abusive and/or compulsive because it is abusive and/or compulsive. They get into the relationship for other reasons, and they stay due to those other reasons as well. As for why people can’t see beyond their lives, well in general it is difficult for a whole bunch of people to look past themselves.

8. Am I in denial?

Yes, about what, we do not know….

9. "Hot Italians" - why do people like them?

I think any sub sandwich is just as good as the next one. If you like salami, capricola, provolone cheese, lettuce, tomato, and peppers on a sandwich, good for you.

10. Is it okay to eat bread that you have seen a spot of mold on, but removed that portion?

God, I hope so… Although, there was this one case where a lady died and in the autopsy they found bread mold on her brain. Yeah, and another case where this guy died because he had bread mold on his heart… You see, the mold actually reaches much further than just where the spot is visible, and clearly human organs are perfect hosts for bread mold. The 2 ideal places for bread mold: Bread and human organs

11. Is it worse for a lady to have visible leg hair or armpit hair stubble?

I would have to go with the pit stubble. Visible leg hair denotes a conscious decision, stubble denotes poor time management and sometimes lack of conviction

12. Would you or have you ever dressed up in a super hero costume?

I am not at liberty to say (the government records are still sealed)

13. What is your biggest challenge right now? (and don’t say getting enough sleep, we all know you’re tired)

The Yeti… he knows why

14. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?

Ummm, sure, whichever one is in stock at the moment

15. crick or creek?

Personally, creek, but I grew up in an area where it was almost always crik. A crik is something I get in my neck

16. Why is it that networks are always so worried about decency on television when they allowed a show like the Flintstones to run for so long without the men wearing pants?

I don’t think the networks are worried at all about decency on television. They are worried that they will fined for what they show. Completely different motivation – they are trying to protect their assets and interests, not the public good. You know it’s hard out here for a pimp…

17. What posses someone to look at a rottweiler and a dachshund and say I wonder what their puppies would look like?

Is his name Bubba? I mean, “Does it say Bubba on his birth certificate?”

18. Why is it when an animal kills someone we trap it, kill it, and test it but if a person kills someone we sometimes kill them but don't test them?

For what would we test them? Rabies? Cholera? Or would we test things on them such as cosmetics? If we were to test them for rabies and an eyeshadow called Midnight Rendevous, I am all for it.

19. If person A and person B both leave the same destination at the same time but person A travels at 95mph and person B travels at 65mph how long does it take for person B to quit looking at the accident caused by person A and resume traveling at normal speed?

Better yet – does person B have a loud muffler? That will cost you a $100 in court.

20. Food question: car-mel or car-a-mel? mustard or ketchup? (or catsup)? salt or pepper?

a. Car-mel
b. Ketchup
c. both - live together in perfect harmony – side by side on piano keyboard, oh lord, why don’t we?

To Recap:
I am soooo not wanting to be inside today
I think it has something to do with the weather…
Mmmm Calzone for lunch
I need a nap…. Outside
Little Man has discovered ants… and is now afraid of them
Is it bad that we drape a blanket around Little Man’s shoulders and march him to the bed while humming the Imperial March from Star Wars?
Little Man loves this
We think that we have created a monster

You will pay, Yeti...