There is a whole bunch of confusion out there about crytpozoologicals. Many people think that the yeti is the same as a sasquatch or a wild-man, but they are sadly misinformed. Sadly, sadly misinformed, indeed. You see, sasquatches and wild-men are sweet and gentle descendants of Gigantopithecus, while the Yeti is descended from conniving hellspawn. That is why the yeti is also known as the “Abominable Snowman,” while the sasquatch is known as “Bigfoot,” and the wild-man is known as “that bear like thingy.” With the Yeti, there is the modifier “Abominable,” as in abomination (as opposed to abdominal, as I thought they were referred to as a kid, don’t get me wrong, they do have abs of steel, {they do a shit-ton of sit-ups… daily}, but it would be silly to refer to them as the “Abdominal Snowman,” down right silly.), but there are no negative modifiers with sasquatch or the wild-man.

The reason is that yetis are, in general, jerks. No good, kick you while you are down, jerks. So, for all of you out there who think I have a beef with all the cryptozoologicals out there, I don’t. It is just yetis, in general… and that no-calling-back bastard Ogopogo… and Mokele-mbembe owes me a dinner, but other than that, no beefs. None at all…

To recap:
No one noticed that the “person” I chose to ride shotgun with was Fluffy, the pine marten who resides within my skull
Hi, Fluffy!
I would essentially have been riding shotgun with something that was riding shot gun with me…
How narcissistic is that?
The problem with having a 12 pack of grape soda on my desk, is that I find it incredibly easy to drink lots of them daily
I am okay with sasquatches
No, really…
And the odd wild-man
It is those damn yetis that you have to look out for
One Yeti knows why he has incurred my wrath
I call him “the Yeti”
Oh, yes, the Yeti knows why…