For the past 1.5 years at my office we have been down to one snack machine and 2 different drink machines (one for cans and one for bottles). This weekend the vending machine fairies deposited 3 new machines in our auspicious office. Again, they are in the same distribution: one snack machine and 2 drink machines (one for cans and one for bottles). So I saw the machines this morning and thought to myself “more variety is always good.” If by more variety I meant “variety of purchasing place” I would be a happy man right now. Turns out that the machines are mere copies of the craptastic selection we had before our snack machine capacity doubled.

One would think with a full 100% greater vending capacity there would at least be a 25% increase in vending machine variety. In our building, one would be wrong. Horribly horribly wrong. For example: Say that last week I wanted a crappy little bag of chips (crisps for the Britons. “Hello, Britons.”) SAY IT!!

Anyway… my choices were Ruffles, Doritos, and plain old crappy chips. So, let’s say that I want a bag of chips (again, crisps for the British readers). SAY IT!!!! I COMMAND YOU TO SAY IT!!!!

Anyway… my choices are Ruffles, Doritos, and plain old crappy chips, but in 2 locations. Do you see the difference? It is subtle, I completely understand if you need a minute to ponder out the intricacies.

While I wait I will look at a picture of the pine marten that lives in my skull, Fluffy.

The weather has been abysmal lately. It has been dreary and rainy all week, which has awakened the marten’s tenuous slumber…

Back to the story at hand... You see, the problem with having 2 vending areas with the same choices is that you have not increased variety in the least. What is the point of adding more vending when (a) you are not increasing the universe of choices for the vendee and (b) you never really sold out of anything when you only had one set of vending machines? They have increased capacity while doing nothing to demand, yet the prices are the same. Simple supply and demand says that the prices should have gone down. Monopolistic jerks…

To Recap:
What’s wrong with adding variety to my vending situation?
No really, what’s wrong with that?
I need to cut the grass
By “grass” I mean “patch of dandelions”
My music selection is a bit stale on my work pc
It is the same music selection as my home pc
I am getting old
Most new music sounds like a bunch of whiny kids
Any younglings reading this here blog, gimme some musical artists I should look into
If you say “Nickleback” or “My Chemical Romance” I will find a way to ban your IP
I will...