Phoning it in

Okay, in our house we have a bit of an un-written and un-spoken understanding regarding my parents. Wifey doesn’t want to talk to them because they say stupid stuff that just infuriates her. Things like “SRH never went a bar prior to dating you, “or Does SRH do all the cooking for the house? It seems like he never talks about your cooking.” It is just best if she does not have to endure those things. So, for the most part I answer the phone at home, so if it is my parents, she doesn’t have to talk with them. It really is better that way. She does speak to them on birthdays and holidays. I have to give her some credit.

Well, last night I was doing the bed time ritual with Little Man and whilst I was incommunicado, my parents called, and Wifey picked up. The parental units were calling to let us know that they made it home safe and sound. It was very thoughtful, and a very nice thing for them to do. The funny thing is, since they do not talk with Wifey very often, they latch onto conversations with her like… like… ummm, like vice grips? My metaphor generator is down at the moment. So I am truly at a loss for words. Anyway… they proceed to have a 45 minute long conversation with Wifey. If she threw them a bone more often, I don’t think that would happen, but my parents are lonely, lonely people who crave conversations, so maybe it would. A bit of a run-on sentence there. And a fragment there. My grammer is appalling today.

Anyway… during the course of this 45 minute chat session with my parents, the topic of my job review came up. How this came up, I am not entirely certain, but I think it had to do with Wifey not wanting to give them any information about herself and her personal life, so she placated them with a story about me. Just a guess though. So my latest review became the primary topic of conversation. Oh, Goody. You see this past year, I have not really felt all that inspired at work, and while I have maintained a good level of professionalism and gotten tasks done in a timely manner, I have not really pushed myself to grow professionally. I have kind of cruised through the last year, by not really going above and beyond, like I normally try to do. Turns out that my review this year was one of my more glowing reviews. I have my theories on why, but that is a tale for a different day. Today we are focusing on the transgression of Wifey.

So I “phone it in,” in effect, for a year and get my best review yet. As Wifey puts it to my parents, this is not a good precedent to start for me. I have mentioned that I am lazy, right? Anyway, my mom agrees whole heartedly and starts talking about how I was fine with B’s in school because the effort it took to get a B was minor compared to the effort necessary for an A. So, my dad starts chiming in about how I was a grand architect in my Boy Scout Troop of the philosophy of “That’s ‘Good Enough.’” Great, now Wifey, Mom, and Dad are all in agreement on something about me, and it is not about how wonderful and creative a soul I am, it is about how I calculate the minimal effort required to create something acceptable, and strive for mediocrity. Can you feel the love?

To Recap:
I was a horrible high school student
I was the most lack luster Eagle Scout any one has ever seen
She stopped talking to them for her own sake
I will endeavor to keep her from talking to them for my sake now
I am phoning it in right now
Even as I type
My works loss has been my blog’s gain
Got the crits back on the renderings
I have some serious revisions to do
Wifey is about to make me rearrange the third bedroom and attic so that the house shows better
She’s got all sorts of crazy rules about house showing
“Don’t leave your underwear on the floor”
Blah Blah Blah
It’s a good thing she knows that ragging on her means I love her.
No really, it does
Right, Honey?