Today is an odd day for me. While I should be collecting money from doubters and others who didn’t think I should last this long (knowing that my smart, sassy mouth should have gotten me killed by now), and while I should be celebrating the wonder that is having a life, I am also shadowed by an event in my past that occurred on this very day, the anniversary of my entrance on this ball of mud careening through the void of space. Every year this tiny planet circles a big ball of gas and we consider ourselves older and hopefully wiser. I have circled that ball of gas for 32 times now. I have done many things and seen even more done in those 32 years, but basically it has all boiled down to meaning my knees will ache when it is going to rain. Much like today. A gray, gray rainy day of aching knees.
You see part of the issue for me is that for the first 19 passes around the sun, I don’t think I even realized that time was passing. I was immortal. I was maturing but not aging. But then I saw a man, a good man, taken down in the prime of his life, and I realized I was not immortal. I saw G-Money’s (also referred to as “Capt. McArmypants” and “that jerk in Colorado.”) father get struck by a drunk driver. I saw it happen and could do nothing to stop it. It changed my life, because after that point I had witnessed the Grim Reaper descend from the Twisting Nether and claim something that was not rightfully his. That will change one’s views on death and dying. That visitation by death himself will alter how you view other’s death and hopefully, how you live your life.
Because of this event that happened on my 19th birthday, in many ways I am also 13. 13 years ago a new person emerged from that tragic event. A new me. A more introspective me, but also a more callous and jaded me. Case in point: Wifey, Little Man and I were on our way back home from a local Metropark when we saw 2 truckers beating the ever living crap out of another trucker. 2 weeks later Wifey looks at me and asks, "How do you not dwell on the fact that these 2 people were beating another man?"
I responded with, “2 guys whalluping another has nothing on a half-ton flatbed smacking someone.” Jaded? Yes. Cynical? Yes. True? For me? Hell, Yes.
For the first time ever Little Man said to me “Happy Birthday”
My knee hurts because it is raining
Crap games being played this morning for the World Cup
I need a hair cut
Having Mama Mimi’s’ Mama’s Favorite Chicken Pizza for lunch today
I still have to come into work for a meeting on my day off
Today is my 32/13 th birthday
It is a very bittersweet day