I did something last night I never thought I would be able to do in a million trillion years. Oklay, that is a bit of an overstatement since there is no way I will be alive for a “million trillion” years. So let’s just say that I did something that I thought I would never do in my lifetime. “What did you do, SRH?!” is the question you are all asking. I am sure you are all sitting on pins and needles waiting for me expound upon what it is that I did. What monumental feat I accomplished. What Gordian Knot I untied. Well, fine readers, I ate more steak than my wife.

Yes, that is correct; I ate more steak than my wife. Sure this doesn’t sound like much, but it really is something quite special.

The facts:
I am 6’2” tall (1.87m for my metric readership)

Wifey is 5’2” tall (1.57m for my metric readership)

I am 220lbs (99.79 kg for my metric readership and 15.71 stone for the Brits)

Wifey is considerably less (honestly, even if I knew how much she weighed, I wouldn’t risk my life by posting it, let’s just say that pending on the brand she wears anywhere from a size 2 to a size 6. This variation is why I hate shopping for her, but that is a rant for a different day)

We are both 32 years old and lead moderately active lives

One would think that steak eating would be no contest. I am significantly heavier than her and 15.6% taller than her. I should win hands down just from my sheer comparative girth. All that being said, typically, she just schools me when eating of steak. She has stunned many a person withy her ability to pack the red meat into her gullet. “All you can eat prime rib” is one of her favorites. Restaurants lose money on her for foolishly allowing her to truly eat all she can. On one occasion one of the wait staff asked her if she really wanted a third slice of prime rib.

There are only a few other things that she can pack away like she has a hollow leg. Other than steak, dairy queen soft serve vanilla ice-cream is one, watermelon is another, and cherries are the final one. For example, one time after taking down a 16 oz steak at Outback Steakhouse, my dad challenged her to eat a Peanut Buster Parfait from Dairy Queen. Her response to him was this, and I kid you not, “I just ate a full pound of beef, but I reckon I can take you to school.” And better yet, she did.

Anyway… last night I ate more steak than her. That was a first. Don’t get me wrong, if I had challenged her to a steak eating contest, she would have beat me hands down, but as it is, I ate more steak than her. It is a first for me and a small triumph.

To Recap:
I ate more steak and someone significantly smaller than me and I am proud
How pathetic is that?
That is a rhetorical question, by the way
Not sure what we are having for dinner tonight
Probably not steak
I couldn’t eat another bite
In her defense, the steak was rather tough
My lunch was unsatisfying
That is a really bad thing considering I just ate it
It is going to be a long afternoon
Have a great weekend folks