20 Questions Tuesday: Part 14, Vacations

So today’s 20 questions revolve around the broad topic of vacations. Today’s questions come from the Venerable Nadolny, the prolific J.A.Coppinger, the New to Questioning Belsum, and the Consistent JW. Thanks everyone for the questions, and here they come.

1. Are you doing the Haunted train ride in Worthington this weekend? I'm thinking you could score major points with Little Man.
Interesting question and good point, but alas and alack Little Man and I will not be going to the Haunted Train ride. You see, Little Man loves him some trains, but he is a bit scared of them due to their size. Actually riding on a train is a big no-no for him.

2. Have you gotten to the point where vacations that involve swimsuits are now avoided?
I have always been at that point. My extra weight now does not even remotely approach my dislike for all things swimming.

3. Which State that you haven't been to, would you most like to go to on vacation?
I think I would like to see Hawaii. I have an interest in all things volcanic, and since that is one of the defining characteristics about Hawaii, it would be a perfect fit.

4. Do you think it's appropriate for parents to take their kids to a vacation spot that features gambling for the adults?
I think it is important to expose children to addictive behavior at a very early age, so, yes.

5. Why would anyone go to Hedonists resorts? Wouldn't the VD rate at those places be ridiculous?
People who go on hedonism retreats are typically very careful about their lifestyle because there is so much risk involved with their chosen activities. That being said I am sure Sexually Transmitted Infections are still rampant in those charnel pits of bodily pleasure. Just applying the law of averages without getting into more scientific risk assessment analyses shows that there is a better than average potential of needing high dosage antibiotics or long term maintenance meds.

6. Alaskan cruises: who thought this was a good idea?
Alaska. They got shit-tons of space and no one to spend money on it. Ship them in temporarily and boost the economy. I bet Wyoming is quite jealous of Alaska’s coastline.

7. What should be done to folks who wear black socks & sandals?
Oh, they will die of old age eventually, so I say that nothing should be done about them. They are a problem that will fix themselves. Plus, they make me look like I have at least a modicum of style.

8. Why does the President seem to have 10 times as much vacation time as the rest of us?
I believe that this President, more than previous ones, feels the need to delegate more, and thus is not as responsible for the day-to-day operations of his White House as previous Commanders-in-Chief. This lack of responsibility gives him the ability to shift the blame to others when policies fail and fit in 18 holes every other week.

9. What’s the “Dream Vacation” for you?
You know, I like the mountains and I like haiking, and I like Wifey, and I like Little Man. Add all those things together and I think you about have it. Sadly this happened too long ago.

10. What one thing could ruin that “Dream Vacation”?
Vampire Bears. They thrive in mountainous regions. Thrive I tell you! THRIVE!!!

11. What’s the largest item you’ve hauled home from a foreign land?
Hmmm… This is a difficult one. I really have not ever really hauled much out of a foreign land and most everything I have hauled has easily fit within a suitcase. I would have to say a woolen blanket from London.

12. Have you ever hung out with complete strangers just because they were also Americans?
Yes, on 2 occasions that I can remember. As Capt. McArmypants and I boarded our ferry from Dover, England to Oostend, Belgium we chatted with a neo-hippy guy named Mithra. Then whilst in London with Wifey, we bought some tickets to The Lion King (8th row, center) at the Lyceum, in London’s famed West End from a lovely couple from California whose friends flaked out on them. It was a great time.

13. What’s the one item you still regret forgetting in your hotel room?
It was actually in a youth hostel in Scotland. I left 2 full rolls of film. I do not have as many pics of me and a young Capt. McArmypants terrorizing Edinburgh as I should.

14. How much are you willing to splurge on room service?
It has been my experience that it is hardly ever worth the mark-up that is charged for room service, but with that in mind, about $50.

15. Do you follow the hot tub rules?
I have no choice but to follow the Hot Tub Rules.

16. Where was your worst vacation destination?
As a kid, my family never went on vacation. We always visited family. So I would choose 2 places. Stow, Ohio (which later became the neighbor of my college experience in Kent, Ohio) and Venice, Florida. Both places the family was constantly tethered by genetic relations and over-planned dull itineraries.

17. Have you ever been lost in the Grand Canyon? If so, who found you- Mr. Brady, Alice, or the Park Ranger?
I have never actually been to the Grand Canyon. But if I were lost there, I would put my faith in the National Park Service to actually find me. Especially since Mr. Brady is dead, and Alice is an octogenarian.

18. Would you ever use the rest stop restroom for an emergency #2?
I have been in that boat before, and after much scrubbing and liberal cleansing of the toilet seat, I did use the facilities for the removal of solid waste. It was not pleasant. I was not happy about it, but I did it… in Kentucky.

19. What lengths would you go to get into a closed Wally World?
I would need to have some calamity to overcome, just so I could say this,

I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fucking fun park, and you wanna bail out! Well, I'll tell you something, this is no longer a vacation . . . it's a quest! It's a quest for fun! I'm gonna have fun, and you're gonna have fun! We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our Goddamn smiles! You'll be
whistling Zip-a-dee-doo-da out of your assholes! I've got to be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose! Praise Marty Moose

20. Having taken an overseas trip, what cultural difference did you have the most trouble acclimating to?
The food.

To recap:
I wasn’t sure how these questions would turn out, but I think this is an okay 20 questions
Next week’s will be something about the second blogaversary
On Monday I will have been doing this blog for 2 whole years
So, that means 6 days until the blogaversary
Sweet googly moogly, I have wasted 2 years of my life on this thing?
Not sure what is for dinner tonight
It seems Papa dunking his head in the bathtub is the funniest thing Little Man has ever seen
It did make his bath-time more enjoyable
I am feeling much much better
I will definitely be exercising tomorrow evening
I slept for crap last night