20 Questions Tuesday: 17 - SRH part the first

Turn about is fair play and all, so this week’s 20 Question Tuesday is, well, all about me. I sent out my typical email asking for questions and so far I have 45 questions. So, next weeks 20 Questions Tuesday will be about me as well. I am one of my favorite subjects after all, and it seems that I am one of yours as well. Anyway… Narcissism aside, thanks this week go to Anon in love with Wifey, J.A. Coppinger, ACW, and Bomber. I just went in order of receipt, so everyone else will be take care of next week. Here are the questions and answers.

1. If you could be spokes-model for any non-food product, what product would you choose?
Clarks Shoes. I love me some Clarks shoes. Although I am wearing Merrell’s right now. That would probably get me fired from the spokesperson job.

2. If Wifey had said no, who was your backup?
I had no back-up. All my eggs were in one basket. It was all or nothing. I would have been plinking freshmen off from a bell tower, ummm…. Strike that last comment. I would have been plinking freshmen off from a bell tower Good job, Blogger!

3. What is your favorite Broadway musical number to fantasize about restaging, starring yourself?
Ummm… I am not sure how or why I would restage it, but the animal procession in The Lion King is my favorite. So I guess I would probably make it look very similar to how it is now, but the spotlight would be on me whilst I did my 90’s hip-hop dancing in Hammer Pants. I would love to tell the Rhino, "Stop! Hammer Time!"

4. Do these jeans make me look fat?
No, there are other factors at play.

5. If you couldn't do what you're doing now (as a job), what would your dream job be?
My dreams have nothing remotely jobby about them. My dream job would be independently wealthy philanthropist.

6. Name the person from history you’d most like to eat lunch with.
When I first read this one, I read “Name the person from history you’d most like to eat for lunch.” And I thought, "This is an odd question." Then I re-read it and was much less confused. So I will answer both. Whom I would dine on and whom I would dine with.
On: Middle Years Henry VIII (late 20’s to 30’s)
With: Salma Hayek. She is historical, right?

7. Why that person?
On: He is still moderately fit, but starting to put some weight on. So he is not too gamy but fat enough to be flavorful… mmmm kingly fat
With: Do I really need to explain this one? If I must: Hawt!

8. If you could live in any time period other than this one, which would you choose?
The Star Trek future. Everybody on Terra gets along just swimmingly.

9. Character of the opposite sex -from a novel- you’d most like to meet?
Sofia from The Sparrow by Mary Doria Russell.

10. Six words that best describe you (individual words, not a sentence!)
Sarcastic, Sardonic, Acerbic, Cynical, Caustic, and Laid-Back

11. How much soccer did you play? Favorite position(s)? Any championships/titles?
I started playing soccer when I was 4, and I stopped playing when I was 17. That breaks things down to playing for 13 years. In those 13 years I played every position on the field and even keeper. I would have to say that I was best at playing either stopper or sweeper in a 4-4-2 or 4-3-3 scheme. When I was 14, my team won our state tournament and basically promoted ourselves into a stronger league. That year I scored 21 goals from the sweeper position. I was the leading goal scorer on the team. 15 of those goals were from un-assisted corner kicks. Bend it Like Beckham my ass. Bend it Like SRH. At 14 goal keepers weren’t able to cover the back corner very well. In U-16 soccer I only scored 5 on corners. In high school, I sat on the bench. I peaked waaaay too early.

12. Why did you really attend Kent State? I believe KSU is too far away from Alabama to be known.
My parents are both originally from Northeastern Ohio. My mom is from Stow and my Dad is actually from Kent. I got an alumni scholarship there and the rest is history. Actually, I can think of 7 people from my family who graduated from Kent.

13. What weird twist of fate bought you and Wifey together? (If you really think about all the decisions that had to be made for the first meeting even to take place)
Honestly, the watershed event of my life had to occur for my compatibility with Wifey to actually be possible. If that had not happened, things in my life would definitely be different.

14. What about "little man" part 2 - when is the happy family becoming a foursome?
You know, Wifey is at home today with a sick Little Man. He has a fever and a bit of a cough. We need to have his hearing evaluated to make sure that there is not some kind of hearing deficiency going on there. We are still dealing with multiple life-threatening food allergies. He is in his full-blown bad asthma season. We are giving him at least 3 breathing treatments daily, when he isn’t sick. Ummm… You tell me, should Wifey and I load that genetic gun again? This one is a tough enough case to deal with.

15. What are your current hobbies? Hobbies that you wished you stayed active in?
I draw somewhat, I write occasionally. I play World of Warcraft way too much. I wish I had kept up with my drawing. Those skills are quite rusty.

16. You seem to be an open book, so confess something that most people don't know about you!
I, ummm… this is a more difficult question than many would think. I am pretty open on this blog without being a completely “naked blogger” (one who writes everything that they feel, good bad, ugly, pretty, emotional, etc…) I am pretty open about foibles and what-not. I guess I would have to say that I am not nearly as knowledgeable as many people think I am. I speak and write very confidently, and this is how I get through life. Basically, I am a sham.

17. Borrowed from "Inside the Actor's Studio"..."If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?"
There’s nothing to see here, move along. Move along…

18. When you've had a really crappy day, what movie is guaranteed to make you laugh?
The frying pan scene from Throw Mama from the Train. Anne Ramsey (this crodgety old woman) is Danny Devito’s (Owen) mom, and Billy Crystal is an acquaintance of Devito’s.
Ramsey: Who are you?
Crystal: I’m Owen’s friend.
Ramsey: Owen doesn’t have any friends. He’s fat and he’s stupid.
DeVito: You lied to me!
{Whacks Billy Crystal in the face with a frying pan}
I laugh every time.

19. Someone else asked what person from history you'd most like to have lunch with...I want to know what you'd eat - where would you go and what would you order?
Actually I like me some Costa’s Famous Bar-B-Que in Birmingham, Alabama. Best damn B-B-Q I have ever had. Although, if the meal was with Salma, I would want it to be at some place that has 8 to 10 courses so she could not run away too quickly.

20. If you could move to another country...name it.
Without really knowing that much about really living there, Scotland.

To Recap:
Little Man is sick today (as mentioned in answer 14)
I got waaay more responses to questions about me than I though I would
I would have thought reading my constant blather would get tiring, but you like me, you really do!
Spaghetti for dinner tonight?
Had to layoff one of my intrepid cartographers this week
That sucks
It really really sucks
Did I mention the suckitude associated with this?
Cause it Sucks