20 Questions Tuesday: 29 - Valentine's Day

Ah, Valentine's Day is tomorrow, and I am stunned at the amount of people on the questioning list who sent in questions. Since Valentine’s Day is such a singular event, I am not going to push this topic on to 2 weeks, so instead of answering every question I got (51 questions in total), I am just going to answer 20 of them that pique my curiosity. I will also answer the few common questions that everyone seemed to ask. These questions are:

What was your worst Valentine’s Day/Valentine’s Day gift? Pretty much any of the Valentine’s Days when I was in High School would suffice. I was unpaired and lonely and acutely aware of that loneliness because I was an angsty teen at the time. As far as gifts go, I have never really gotten a Valentine’s Day gift so “no gift” would be my answer.
What was your best Valentine’s Day/Valentine’s Day gift? 11 years ago was the best. Wifey and I had gotten engaged the previous week, and that Valentine’s Day was just special and nice. As far as gifts, it was 11 years ago as well, when Future Wifey said, “You know, the engagement is more special than this holiday, let’s not celebrate Valentine’s Day and remember the engagement instead.” In one fell swoop, I no longer had to think about Valentine’s Day. Yippee! Love you, Wifey!

Is Valentine’s Day a “real” holiday or just one manufactured by Hallmark? Valentine’s Day is a real “event.” I hesitate to call it a holiday because no one observes it by not doing stuff. There is some actual history to it, but I think a bunch of the history ascribed to the day is more lore and legend than actual historic fact.

Valentine’s Vs Sweetest Day? I had honestly not heard of Sweetest Day until I moved to Ohio in 1992. Never. Heard. Of. It. Sweetest Day is the definition of a “Hallmark” holiday, because it was manufactured. I hate the mere existence of Sweetest Day.

Today’s Questions are from (in order of receipt): Lord Pithy, Lsig, Peefer, The Em, ZingerZapper, Dr Civil, Bomber, Info Diva, Allrileyedup, JW, and Atmikha. If I did not answer a question you asked, I apologize, but paring down the questions to a measly 20 was difficult. To the questions!

1 What the hell does my husband really want for VD? Are silk boxers ever an appropriate gift?
I think, based on a conversation with you this morning, he wants you to stay away fro Valentine’s Day. Silk boxers are always appropriate. Always! They just make it nice to walk around. In fact when I wore silk boxers, I would walk around a lot, for the sheer umm… enjoyment of them.

2 Why does it amuse me so much to refer to the day as VD?
Because it is tragically funny. I think VD actually made the medical community change Venereal Disease into Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI’s)

3 Nougat or nut-filled? White, milk, or dark? Chocolate, that is. What's your favorite Valentine's day confection?
Nougat, White Chocolate, I am not terribly partial to any day specific confection.

4 How many times can the average person see the same, stupid Valentine's-themed jewelry store commercial and not kill someone?
437 ... I am at 267

5 Is there any implication to the fact that we give our loved ones bits of chocolate in a box shaped (symbolically, anyway) like an internal organ for this holiday? And why does a Valentine's heart look nothing like a real heart?
People like treats, ergo the chocolates. The heart shape is more aesthetically pleasing than an actual heart shape. I mean, really, how do you put lace on the aorta?

6 If you were Cupid, where precisely would you aim your arrow? And why?
For lust? A kill shot to the inner thigh, hoping to nick the femoral artery.
For love? A kill shot to the Carotid Artery.
I think the reasoning is self-evident

7 You are a woman. (Go with me for a moment.) Did you appreciate your gift of lingerie?
I am not sure I like where this question is going. I am not some cheap floozy whose physical affections can be purchased with some frilly lacy undergarment… although, they do make me feel pretty…

8 I love the new anti-V-day parties and such that are happening in recent years for the singles. What's your take on it?
Ah, Single’s Awareness Day. I think it is a great idea. Those sad sad un-coupled masses trying to take control of the singular loney existence

9 What's your favorite love song?
"Tainted Love", by Soft Cell. Sure it wasn’t originally done by Soft Cell, but their cover is easily the best

10 What do you do on a VD date when your date spends 85% of the time talking about his dead mother and how he was forced to fly to England to bury her and he is still bearing the cost of the funeral? You know, they weren’t that close…(blah, blah, blah)
a. End the date on the sentence, “My dead mother…”
b. Refuse to return his calls even after he tells you what a great time he had
c. Tell him at the door that you hope his mother haunts him in his dreams
d. Marry him
Definitely A

11 I recently read that men spend on average 17 million dollars on VD, while women spend half of that amount. Is it because men are trying to make up for the other 364 days in one fell swoop, trying to get a little loving later on, or sincerely want to show their partner how much they love them with a big, honking diamond? Just curious.
Sorry, I stopped reading after “VD.” Men spent $17 million on Venereal Disease? I’m sorry what was the question again? Oh, yes…I think if a singular honking huge gift such as a diamond didn’t work to get men laid, they would not continue that attempt.

12 What was the most appropriate message on the little heart shaped candies? The most inappropriate?
You decide which is which

13 If you were to give out drugstore "themed" cheapy Valentines to your coworkers (like all the kids do - you know Sponge Bob, Cars, etc.) - what character/cartoon would you choose?
Law & Order SVU Valentines!

14 If you were forced to watch a chick flick romantic comedy on Valentine's Day (so not your genre!), what movie would you choose?
Shaun of the Dead. Hey, it is classified as a "romantic comedy."

15 My married friends don't celebrate Valentine's Day anymore, but they did when they dated. What's up with that?
Married people are dead inside…so so dead…

16 Valentine’s Day Clichés: I was at the Mall on Saturday and I saw men with glazed over expressions at the jewery counters looking for engagement rings. Should guys use Valentine's Day to pop the big question or not? By the way, giving a woman flowers and chocolate. Cheesy or traditional? Who actually gives or wants to receive the oversize stuffed animals of fluffy white bears holding a red heart-shaped pillow?
I think the Valentine’s Day/New Years/Christmas proposals are a bit too cliché. There is no originality in them at all.
Flowers and chocolate are a cheesy gift.
I have no idea about the teddy bear and pillow thing.

17 If cupid is a boy, then why do people freak out at you if you dress your baby son up as cupid for pictures?
I don’t know, but people thought I was weird last year for having this up on my computer.

18 Do you think Valentine's Day is a good day for internet couples to meet for the first time?
I think picking a day with less expectations and seasonal weight would be a better choice. There are just too many strings attached to the idea of Valentine’s Day to make it the first physical meeting – in my non-internet dating opinion.

19 Are you a fuddy-duddy who claims that Valentine's day is just a commercial ploy to get people to spend $, or are you the type that uses the day to celebrate the person you love just a little more than you usually do?
I am quite the fuddy duddy on this one, but I do not think it is a commercial ploy as much as I think it is a day that holds no significance to me or Wifey.

20 Does your Valentine like funny wife cards, dirty wife cards, or does she like the mushy, gooey, sentimental wife cards that make you want to throw up in your mouth?
She likes the mushy cards. I don’t get it, but those are the ones she likes

To Recap:
The roads are really crappy today
I will probably be leaving work early today
Around 4-ish
Tacos for dinner
Wifey and I had to go to the grocery store last night
I was surprised at how many college students were there buying beer
Then I remembered (what I could) my collegiate years
Snow, beer and college mix well
I could have omitted snow in that last line