H: 8 of 26

Here we go with the penultimate entry in the No Longer Random Alphabet of SRH. Today’s letter is the letter, H. I have to say that I am relived and a little saddened that this segment is coming to an end. What am I going to write about on Thursday’s after next week? Coming up with drivel for everyone to read is difficult. Just plain difficult.

Anyway… here we go.

H: Big H, Little h, Hungry horse, hay. Hen in a hat. Hooray! Hooray!

When I decided to start up this here Alphabet of SRH 25 weeks ago, I knew that day, that hour, that minute, that second, that I was going to write about hippos for H. So without further ado…

It all started innocently enough. A casual lunch conversation was casually lunching when my friend uttered those fateful words: “Did you know that the hippo has no natural enemies?” There was only one true and accurate response to that statement.

“They do now!”

Since I made hippos my second (the Yeti got the 1st) slot favored enemy (all you 5th level Rangers know what I’m saying, PHB 3.5 in tha house!), lets see just what has transpired, shall we? My wife lovingly (it was lovingly done, right?) psychoanalyzed me for my irrational hate of hippos and I responded. My blog has become the number 1 entry listed for the Google searches Hippo Enemy and Hippopotamus Enemy. I had 2 blogaversaries, oh, and THE HIPPO WAS NAMED TO THE ENDANGERED SPECIES LIST!!! I am quite effective in my hatred (or h8red for the text monkeys --raise your hand if you were born after 1990. Excuse me, what I meant was: u born 90+? raze h& kthxby!lol). Sure they say that the hippo is becoming endangered by loss of habitat, but I work in mysterious ways, baby!

What have I Learned about the hippo since naming it as my favored enemy?

  • The Hippopotamus amphibious is a large land mammal that spends much of the time in a riverine environment.

  • Bulls are very territorial and will attack even when unprovoked.

  • Most African animal encounter caused deaths in Africa are due to unprovoked attacks by hippos.

  • The closest biological relative to the hippo are the cetaceans and not other grazing mammals.

  • The name Hippopotamus is derived from the 2 Greek words “hippo" and “potamus” which mean “horse” and “river” respectively.

  • A hippo can open its mouth wide enough to fit a 4 foot tall child inside.
  • A hippo can open its mouth 4 foot wide. (the "fact" above is just pure sensationalism)
  • Maybe it should have read: A hippo can open its mouth wide enough to fit a 4 foot tall bomb inside.
  • 'Cause it's true.
  • In Egyptian mythology Taweret, Tauris, Toeris, and Reret are all names of a goddess of fertility portrayed as a hippo

  • They do not like licorice or even the smell of anise

  • Oh, and they go down like chumps!
Can I get an “A-men?”

To Recap:
I am not sure what my posting schedule will be for next week
There is a chance that I will be heading down to Alabama to see Capt. McArmypants
A very good chance, I just don’t know when exactly
I would like to know when soon so I can see if I am driving or flying
All that is left for the Alphabet is Y
Y is for Yeti
That’s good enough for me
The presentation from yesterday is completed
And there was much rejoicing
Have a great Labor Day weekend my US Readers!
Have a great weekend everyone

They are Evil I tell you!