Hmmmm… since I have the Yeti post tomorrow, I will post about 9.6.97 today, even though today is 9.5.07.

On 9.6.97 Wifey and I tied the knot, jumped the broomstick, got hitched, wedded, married. **FYI: There really are not that many good euphemisms associated with getting married, and all the ones I could come up with sounded a bit… dirty. I was going to give a whole paragraph of euphemisms associated with getting married, but almost all euphemisms associated with marriage have to do with names for one’s partner, for example old ball and chain, the old woman, the anchor dragging me down to my demise, you know what I mean. Anyway… basically, 10 years ago I stopped being single. Good times ensued.

For the past 10 years I have been lucky enough to wake up next to my bride most days (sometimes I am away from home, sometimes she is away from home). Every morning is like Christmas morning for me, just without the lights, cinnamon rolls, the tree and the preponderance of wrapped gifts. She is definitely the best present I could ask for (“for which I could ask” sounds way too formal). Honestly, every morning I wake up next to her I am still a little bit surprised. What the hell is this woman doing with me? Is a thought that quite often goes through my mind.

In the past 10 years here are 10 things I have learned many a thing about my wife:

10. She cannot get addicted to anything. She says, “I’m so addicted to (for example) Poky.” But when I inquire if she would like me to get her some while I am grabbing my Mt. Dew at the grocery store she says, “Nah, I don’t feel like Pocky today.” Wifey, just so you know, that means you are not addicted. There have been a string of these “addictions” -- Take it from a DewHead, she doesn’t know addiction--

9. She abhors changing the toilet paper roll

8. I forget what eight is for

7. White meat fried chicken is just plain stupid

6. Watching her open gifts is better than getting a gift. Her eyes light up and she cannot hide her exuberance. This holds true unless she does not like the gift…

5. She has a hard time walking away from a sale on black slides (ask here for a pic, I don’t have any) at Nordstrom

4. The sound of soccer game announcers grates on her nerves like raking a lawnmower blade over slate

3. She does not handle headaches very well

2. She would rather clean, sweep, and mop the entire downstairs of the house than have to scrub the kitchen

1. She is uncompromising in her joy, unyielding with her affection, and unending in her love

Happy Anniversary, Wifey! Our Wedding

To recap:
There used to be a blog written by Gojira Kaiju
It was funny
It doesn’t seem to exist anymore
That is too bad
Tomorrow, even though it is my anniversary, I will be posting about the Yeti
Don’t expect anything supremely eloquent
I haven’t really thought out what I am going to write about
Ham wrapping sandwiches tonight!
By the way, those knees arte sexsay!