20 Questions Tuesday: 61 - Writing 101

20 Questions Tuesday is both a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing because I know that I merely have to answer people’s questions that they have graciously gifted to me. It is a curse because I have to answer people’s questions that they have graciously gifted to me. I am somewhere in the middle group of blessing and curse hoping to hit prophecy!

Today’s topic is writing, and it looks like it will be next week’s topic as well. Thanks this week go to the droll musings of Dustin, the crisp witticisms of Lord Pithy (not yet a Duke I see), the obscurity known as ACW, and the melodious musings of Wifey. On to the questions!

1. Preferred writing utensil: a. Quill b. Ball Point Pen c. Fountain Pen d. Pencil e. Sharpie f. Crayon g. charcoal
I use a Pentel P207 .7mm mechanical pencil for most of my daily scribbling. I have also recently been enamored with a green Ultra Fine Point Sharpie.

2. Favorite writer when you were 18?
David Eddings, his stuff does not hold up well over time. It is fantasy cliché at its most basic. The writing is okay, but his stories are all pretty tired.

3. Greatest written document of all time?
Magna Carta
US Constitution
Hammurabi’s Code
The tales of Gilgamesh
My Birth Certificate

4. If someone gave you $10,000 and said you had to write a 100 page novella, what would it be about?
I would write a 100 page novella about someone giving somebody $10,000 to write a 100 page novella about someone giving somebody $10,000 to write a 100 page novella about someone giving somebody $10,000 to write a 100 page novella about someone giving somebody $10,000 to write a 100 page novella about someone giving somebody $10,000 to write a 100 page novella about someone…

5. If Little Man were to write an autobiography tomorrow, what would he title it?
The Life and Times of Hero and Leadner: A Epistemological Retrospective

6. When you have writer's block, how do you cure it?
Many times I call Wifey. Sometimes I try to write something else. A few times I write whatever comes to my head and then see where that goes. Rarely I just weep uncontrollably in the corner of a conference room.

7. When composing a letter bomb, what is the appropriate opening honorific?
“To whom it may concern…”

8. Microsoft Word, WordPerfect, or some other choice?
I used to prefer WordPerfect, but I have been forced to use Word so long that I have lost all familiarity with WP. That makes me sad.

9. What word-processing feature would you most like to be able to use in real life?

Crtl + Z

10. If you received a death threat, but it was written in Curlz, would you take it seriously?
More so than if it were in Times New Roman or Arial or Helvetica. Death threats sent in Curlz are clearly from someone who has had a break with reality, and felt they should personalize.

11. Why do your posts and emails contain spelling errors? Don't you have spell check on your machine?
Skrew yoo! Basically I don’t really care too much about the spelling issues. Soelling has never been a forte of mine and I am honestly too lazy to care about the spell check all the time. My biggest issue is that eye sometimes right in homophones, and homophones are knot caught bye the spell check feature in yore typical word processing programs.

12. What's up with Chaucer and why did he write so funny?
Sadly I think the prose of today is going to look as antiquated and laborious to future generations as Middle Englishe looks to us. Think about how truncated our words are compared to Chaucer’s. Now think about how this sentence looks compared to most text messages. Pretty soon, people will wonder why we wrote the way we do. kthxby

13. My friend's kid is in a school system that has gone paperless - to include homework and parent announcements. This can't be good, I believe there is an important lesson to be learned by taking pencil to paper and completing homework. Your thoughts?
There is definite merit to writing and not inputting things directly into a digital environment. I think that computers have too much ability to create shortcuts. Shortcuts are good once one has had a chance to understand the basics.

14. Is the haiku dead?
This poetic form
Made of five and seven sounds
Is alive and well

15. I heard once that a "writer cannot write." That if you can do anything else with your life, you clearly are not a writer because writer's are compelled to write at the expense of all other interests or abilities.

What do you think? Is this a truthful perspective or simply wisdom of a drunk?
Who the Hell are you talking to? I do think there is some truth to this. I think people who are compelled to write can avoid that call, but in general I think they know that nothing else can replace their need to write.

16. Do you think New Kid's on the Block (NKOTB) would have had a hit if it would have been titled, "The Write Stuff" vs. "The Right Stuff"? IMO, it might have launched a huge literacy campaign that would have changed the world as we know it.
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
Oh Oh Oh Oh
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
The Write Stuff!

You are clearly on to something. Whoops, mis-typed that. You are clearly on something. Damn prepositions!

17. What would you write about if no one you knew read your blog?
Who I hate, why I hate them, and what exactly makes them look funny

18. Who wrote the Bible? God? The church? Some guys who were recording hearsay and conjecture? Very talented monkeys? Please give your viewpoint.
A council of very talented monkeys, a monkey qabal, if you will. I could and probably should expound, but I shan’t.

19. Please write a haiku about your job.
Mapping can be fun
Information tells stories
Stagnation is bad

20. Right?

To Recap
Nothing much to recap
I still need sleep
I miss mountain dew
Not to be confused with "I, Miss Mountain Dew"
The forthcoming autobiography from Miss Mountain Dew
Not much really to recap about
Databases are boring
Tedious and boring
Might be a Superfriends themed Digital Thursday
Any requests?