20 Questions Tuesday: 77 - Sweet Jeebus, It's a Grrl

The topic for today’s 20 Questions Tuesday will concern a little girl issuing forth from Wifey’s loins in June. We are daughtering up.

Thanks this week go to Karen, Lsig, Dustin, Belsum, Sparky (last known as Bomber), Dr B Dawg, Wifey, Allrileyedup, and JW. A bonus 5 questions - because I care!

On to the questions:

1. Have you decided on a name? If so, what is it? Can you please name your daughter “Voltrana: The Harbinger of -insert word of your choice here-”? Pretty please? What are the top 10 names so far? Will there be an internet vote for the final name?
Not yet. Nope. No, although the word on the street is that she should be named Voltron Stardust Tonidanza. We have some candidate names, but we are not really sharing. Feel free to pass along any suggestions, but there will not be an Internet vote for the name.

2. Do you have any idea just how much little girls talk? Are you prepared for that? Would you like to spend time with Greta to fully understand what a nonstop dialogue sounds like? How do you feel about high-pitched screaming? In times of happiness, sadness, surprise, fear, or for no darn reason at all. Seriously, this isn't taught, it's innate in little girls. They learn before age 2 that it gets a reaction...it's bizarre!
I am not sure one can truly prepare for the constant string of verbalization. I know I am not prepared. Once I went to one of the US Women’s Soccer games and a higher-pitched soundscape I have never experienced. I can only imagine that in a one-on-one environment. (and you know she’s totally going to play soccer, a’ight.)

3. Pink. How do you feel about it? You will be receiving a lot of pink clothing for this kid. Is it still customary to dress baby girls in pink or did that fade off in the 1960’s? Until they get old enough to express opinions on clothes, babies are basically subject to their parents' clothing whims. Do you expect to go princess-y or tomboy-ish with the little one's clothes (my personal baby girl style is probably best expressed as "wedding cake" considering all the lace, bows, and flowers currently in her closet)? Will Wifey embrace the dresses and pinkness of it all or say "no way, my daughter's not wearing pink!" How does Zany Mama feel about the color pink? Remind her of this answer once the new baby girl turns one.
I think we will do our best to stay away from lacey as much as possible. Lace is just so impractical. Pink? Well, we are not huge fans of the color. I think as long as the color is tempered by other colors it is not sooo bad. I hope we can get it to where pink is not the predominant color, but I understand that will take some doing.

Wifey’s major concern is the clothes of the tween years. If I have to hear, “My daughter will not wear a thong at age 9” one more time…

4. Do you own a shotgun? Do you think you will need one? Will you use a shotgun or machete to ward off boys with less than favorable intentions?
I do not have one yet. While I like the point and hope aiming stylings of a shotgun, I am much more of an aiming purest. If a firearm were to make it into the house, it would either be a rifle or a pistol. No, I do not think I will need it. My breath can be intimidating enough.

5. Were you surprised to find out that it's a girl, or did it confirm a deep suspicion?
A little of column A and a little of column B. Wifey was not at all surprised.

6. Do you feel any compulsion to go out and buy non-train toys? Perhaps dolls or ponies or something? Is train fascination genetic and if so, could you handle two train obsessed offspring? Will you try to prevent a train fetish in this one?
This little one will probably find her own niche of products to latch onto. I hope it is not the Care Bears, because that show hurts my soul.

On the other hand, a dual train fetish could save us some cold hard cash, so we may try to veer her toward the locomotive.

7. Have you broken the news to Little Man? Does he have any thoughts on his impending sister? Forgot to ask you this earlier - what does Little Man think of this news?
Little Man was surprised because he thought he was going to get a little brother. He is slowly integrating the idea of little sister. The initial conversation went something like this.

Me: Little Man, do you want to know if you’re having a brother or a sister?

LM: I’m having a brother.

Me: No, buddy. Actually, we found out today that the baby is a girl. You’re having a sister.

LM: **Blank look. Because , you know, I already told them what we were having.**

Me: It’s going to be a baby sister, LM. You’re going to be a big brother to a baby sister.

LM: **Shock is slowly getting replaced by confusion, I thought I told them it was to be a boy.**

Me: Buddy?

LM: Oh. **We’ll just see about that.**

8. What will you do if your impending daughter turns out to be a jock (actual real life fear for my own future children)?
Whatev? I am not sure of the intention of this question. If the little girl grows up to be insanely sporty… more power to her. If she is more bookish? Great! If however, she goes on to be a zoologist with a specialty in the water horse, we may have real issues.

9. Diaper service: overrated or underappreciated?

10. Did you save boy clothes thinking that maybe someday you’d have another one? What are you going to do with them now?
I think many of the boys clothes will be donated to a local charity. We will scour the clothes for things that are special to us regarding Little Man and stuff that is more unisex.

11. Do you need a tie-breaker now that the sexes will be evened up in your house?
Hell no. Let’s be clear. It’s never really been “even” – we’d have to get a lot more penises in the house before Wifey’s rule was truly compromised.

12. Will the new baby girl give Little Man girl cooties?
Very likely.

13. How many people have declared that girls are easier (or harder) than boys to raise and just you wait?
I honestly have not heard that too much so far. I am sure it is around the corner.

14. Will this be the first granddaughter on either side?
Yes, it will. In fact according to my family it will be the first daughter born into the family since Eve.

15. Have you already gone shopping for girly stuff?

16. What shall the blog nickname be for the new one? What are some of the candidates for the new little one's blog moniker?
Well, Little Woman sounds like a novel. Little Girl is too diminutive compared to Little Man. The Princess is too derogatory as is Chicky (plus that is what Little Man has for dinner). I want it to be regal without being overbearing, so the Empress doesn’t work. I think, after long deliberation (with Wifey) she will be referred to as The Duchess.

17. Do you prefer girl or grrl?
Grrl. Most definitely

18. What scares you the most about having a girl-child?
Having a girl-child

19. Did you ever want to be a girl? Because, you know, this is kind of your chance… living vicariously through your offspring.
I don’t think so. I will contemplate this more though.

20. "Don’t call me daughter. Not fit to. The picture kept will remind me." What do you think these lyrics mean? Okay, it's pretty clear Eddie is bemoaning incest again. Find a new take on the lyrics.
Ummm… Eddie has some issues. Definitely about the whole incest thing. I am not sure I can spin it other than have people think about it being sung by the Frankenstein monster. The only issue is the word “kept” should be changed to “keep.”

******Bonus Questions*****

21. Will Little Man and the Duchess have the same curfew when they're in high school?
At similar ages they will have similar curfews. They will have to be at home by 3 am or spend the night in the drunk tank.

22. Are you aware that your email message pulled up the following sponsored ads: "Girl Thongs" "Getting Your Girl Back?" and "Bling Flower Girl Shirts." Any thoughts?
This is surprising to say the least. Especially the ones that make such grammatical nonsense.

23. If little man wants to wear The Duchess’s princess dress up shoes (because inevitably, someone WILL buy them for her), are you going to let him?
If he wants to wear princess dress shoes, who am I to stand in the way?

24. Chris rock's advice to fathering a daughter is "keep 'em off the poles." Discuss.
Well, I tend to agree. If I can keep the Duchess from stripping (cause you know “The Duchess” would be her stripper name) then I have at least done something right.

25. What personality traits (if any) do you hope the new baby inherits from the two of you?
Whether I want it or not, she is going to be hard-headed. So I am going to embrace her sense of self and self determination, because it is better to swim with the water than upstream.

To recap:
Lots of questions about pink
And names
I have a headache
Not a headache brought about by dehydration though
For I am drinking a bunch of water
And have to pee mightily
Like a geyser
A mighty geyser