20 Questions Tuesday: 97 - 4th of July

Sweet giblets and gravy the ‘rents get here this afternoon!

Enough about them and their meddling ways. Friday of this week is the 4th of July, and that has some significance in the U.S. of A. It turns out that as a nation we like to drink, eat grilled meat, and blow shit up.

Thanks this week to ACW, Dustin, Belsum, Lord Pithy, JA Coppinger, and Capt McArmypants.

On to the questions:
1. Any food traditions for the fourth? Picnic food: hot dog and hamburgers or fried chicken? Sides?
No food traditions to speak of. I am much more a hot-dog and hamburger guy. Corn on the cob, green beans, chips… it’s all good

2. Any out of town visitors?
My parents :(

3. Going to the Crew game? - tickets starting at $10....
Nope, eventhough it is only $10

4. Do you spend the fourth relaxing or doing chores around the house?
Typically a little of Column A and a little of Column B

5. Why is it that no matter how old I get, I still get excited at the prospect of fireworks? On a scale of 1-10: How much cooler are fireworks purchased on a tribal reservation as opposed to in the parking lot of a K-mart? What is the coolest thing you ever did with fireworks (“coolest” from the point of view of a 13 yr. old male)?
You are still an adolescent at heart. As for the 1 to 10 thing it depends on the amount of fire water purchased as well. My borther and I would have a 5th of July celebration where we would explode models with left over fireworks. It was pretty cool

6. Has Little Man learned to love blowing things up yet?
Little Man is not a fan of Fireworks. For some silly reason, Columbus’s big fireworks display is on the 3rd, the local neighborhood display is on the 4th, and Crew Stadium will be lighting them off on the 5th. Those three nights, regardless of weather, the house will need to be closed and fans/AC running to drown out the explosions that scare Little Man.

7. How many times have you seen Independence Day? Is President Whitmore’s speech before the final battle pretty much the awesomest thing or what?
I have seen ID4 maybe 1.5 times. I thought it was horrible. I did not like one bit of it. So Whitmore’s speech did absolutely nothing for me, even though it was delivered by acting juggernaught Bill Pullman

8. Do you prefer seeing the big civic displays of fireworks or setting off your own explosives with neighbors?
I like the more intimate affairs with greater probability of bodily harm.

9. Who is your favorite Founding Father and why?
Alexander Hamilton… he’s dreamy

10. With 200+ years of hindsight, did the founding fathers really do us any favors?
I think the ideals that have underpinned the mythology associated with the US is the best favor. True that mythos is not their intention or even remotely the reality, but the myth is pretty awesome.

11. Which is the greater irony: "Land of the Free" or "Home of the Brave"?
Land of the Free

12. If given a time machine, would you agree to go back and sign your name to the Declaration even larger than Hancock's? Still with the time machine, what rider would you attach to the document?
I think I would LOLSign the Declaration: Iams sining yur papur, dclarin NDpendens, LOL SRH

13. Inalienable or unalienable: which is correct?
Unalienable is the one on the paper, but both are recognized words.

14. How do you see the 4th: day off for beer and burgers, or an important flag waving kinda day?
I am not an important flag waving kind of guy.

15. Is there any point to watching fireworks on TV?

16. What’s your personal take on the Declaration of Independence (250 words or less!)

Hey, George!
Suck it!

17. So why is Independence Day such an awesome film? I mean it so full of plot holes and logic errors that it is painful to think about and yet in the end it comes together so well?!
It is not an awesome film. Next you will be telling me that Titanic was a cinematic wonderland.

18. Honestly which is a bigger mockery of the original intent of the holiday? Xmas or Independance Day? Is it a tie? I mean sure one deals with religion and should make it a shoe-in for a bigger mockery, but at least if you want to take Xmas "seriously" you know where to start, but with the 4th? I mean most people don't even think about it.
Xmas is more of a mockery.

19. So is there anything that has failed to keep its childhood wonderment than fireworks, aside from possibly trips to the zoo? I mean when I was a wee one I was alllllll psyched for fireworks, now they are actually kinda a nuisance for me. I would actually prefer to see a nice quiet starry night than one with fireworks. You?
I was pretty ambivalent about fireworks prior to Little Man hating them. Now, I just want them to go away so my little boy can sleep

20. I usually don't give to the Holiday Santa's on street corners with their stupid bells, but I would totally cough up a few bucks to roving bands of crippled fief-players/drummers carrying a tattered colonial flag. So why have none of the charities targeted my demographic?!?!
Your demographic, while stacked with chips, is still teeny tiny, and marketing campaigns are more shot-gun blasts than sniper fire.

To recap:
My parents are already here and it is waay too early
They might accidentally poke mama bear with a pointy stick
They don’t want to poke mama bear with a pointy stick
Nobody wants to poke mama bear with the pointy stick
Whatever happened to Bronson Pinchot?
That has to be a bitter man
I am checking out of here early today
With enough caffeine in my system, I might be able to run just enough interference
I’ve got my Mountain Dew
I’ve got my keys
I have a damsel in distress
I have a mission