20 Questions Tuesday: 109 - Excuses Excuses

It seems that lately (for the past 34 years or so) I have been bandying about all these different excuses for stuff. I am trying to put some of that behavior behind me… if I have time.

Thanks this week go to Lsig, John P., JA Coppinger, Capt. McArmpants, Nadolny, and All Rileyed Up. Sorry about the answers this week, I wasn’t able to focus on them like I would like to because of stuff and things and such.

On to the Questions:
1. Do dogs actually eat homework? Did the dog ever eat your homework?
I have never actually heard of a dog eating homework spontaneously. Homework slathered in peanut butter or wrapping up a steak, maybe… but just raw homework? I don’t think so. Since I had cats growing up, this was not one of the options for me.

2. Is "because I don't feel like it" and excuse or just a simple truth? What percentage of the excuses you offer really come down to: "I just did not care that much".
There is a subtle but real difference between an excuse and a reason. An excuse is a hurdle that could be overcome, but a reason is a different beast entirely.

3. Which is it easier to find an excuse for- not exercising or not doing housework?
Not exercising. Everything is easier to not exercising.

4. Can you justify this sorry excuse for a blog topic?
Yes, it is no better and no worse than any of my other 20 Questions Tuesday topics.

5. Has Little Man started to make excuses for not doing things he is suppose to? Are these excuses any good and could he ever live up to your standards of fabrication of an excuse?
He has started down that path. He is my son, so I expect it. I have used the phrase “Don’t bring that weak game into my house, child” to him before, but he isn’t quite hip to that jive.

6. Who is better at making excuses in dealing with friends or family you would rather not deal with, you or Wifey?
I am better at making excuses for everything compared to Wifey. Excuses are pretty much like lying, but with a kernel of truth to make it more believable. Wifey sucks at the lying.

7. The polite “excuse me” in the grocery store aisle to get by the shopping cart in the exact middle of everything. Do you use it and does anyone ever utter it your way? ... by the way, I’m sorry my questions are so lame for today’s topic but I had a long rough weekend, the Steelers lost, I haven’t been able to buy The Force Unleashed yet, and I’m sitting here at work with a ton of stuff to do. I mean quite literally close to 2000 pounds of paper work, give me a break man!
I have been known to excuse myself around others taking up too much aisle space. I have also been known to need excused… I have kids now. Kids take up aisle space darn it!

8. Why two pronunciations for the same word? i.e. “That’s no excuse.” & “Excuse me!”
One is used as a noun and the other a verb.

9. What’s the worst excuse for missing work you’ve ever made?
I haven’t really used excuses for missing work. I typically tell my work, “Hey, I ain’t coming in on Friday.” I am rock star like that.

10. What excuse are you planning to use if you can’t bring the funny for one of these questions?
Questioners not bringing their A-Game

11. Aren't excuses the greatest thing ever. They are ridiculously cheap, easy to manufacture and yet we can use them to patch massive holes in the very fabric of society. Not only that!, but you don't even have to make your own, if you fail to someone else will do it for you. HOW AWESOME IS THAT!!!???
I am happy for you that you have someone who can manufacture excuses for you. I have to sweat blood and cry tears to get excuses.

12. Does it annoy or amuse you when someone won't let go of their flimsy excuse. Like a guy will tell you he did not finish a proposal because his daughter was sick and you are like all whatever just get it to me tomorrow and he is like all yeh, she has a fever and stuff and you are like all yeah, that is tough, no problem just get it to me and he is all like and I had to swing by to get her medicine and that took forever and you are all like thinking while I personally have doubts about the existence of karma, if your daughter actually gets sick in the next week won't you fell a little guilty?
You are a hard hard man, McArmypants.

13. How much effort have you put into an excuse? I once went overboard on an issue of almost no consequence. I mean my standard is just to give the pensive cow until the inquiring party makes an excuse for me, because I think it is important to let people know where you stand with them, but once I started this elaborate nonsense just for reasons I honestly cannot say I understand or understood and just kept digging deeper and deeper. It was practically lunacy. That ever happen to you?
The problem with excuses, and I am sure you will agree, is that once they are given you have to keep them up. If I give an excuse for a twisted ankle, I have to always remember what ankle is twisted until the proper healing interval has occurred.

14. So who are the best "excusers"? The ones who fabricate for their intended audience and lovingly handcraft each fact to help others maintain their own illusions or the ones who are writing and re-writing their own saga to make sure that their official version is in-keeping with their world view of themselves?
The better excuses are lovingly the lovingly hand-crafted ones, but the more effective ones are the ones done by the deluded folk trying to maintain their own fractured world view.

15. What is the most number of times you can repeat a word in a sentence while remaining grammatically correct? No excuses, answer the question!
There is an infinite amount while still maintaining grammatical correctness. The Court will court the court recorder to record records of the court squash court, the court tennis court, the court, ….” I could go on forever using the word “court.”

16. Did you ever write an excuse for yourself for missing school and sign your parents’ name?
Nope, I didn’t miss that much school as a kid. Plus I saved forging my parents’ names for things like permission slips and the like that I had forgotten to take home.

17. Excuse me. Do people really mean it when they say it? Discuss amongst yourselves.
Very few mean it, but it is at least a polite way of saying “Move.”

18. What's the worst excuse you've ever gotten, for whatever the reason?
I got a boat-load of excuses when I was a Teaching Assistant running the lab section of a lecture class. I don’t remember many of the excuses individually, but collectively, they were weak.

19. Who says excuse me better, Steve Martin or, um, well, who else says excuse me besides Steve Martin?
I have to go with Steve Martin…. He is a wild and crazy guy.

20. Fill in the blank: Excuse me! Please, excuse me from the bottom of my heart, but if I held it any longer, it would have been a ______ .
Pile of linty dust slowly filtering into the wind.

To recap:
Smooth Criminal with Celine Deon acapella… who’s with me?
I have work to do
It is work
It is crappy work
It is crappy boring work
It is crappy boring unrewarding work
I don’t want to do it
If I could only figure out something to say to keep me from having to do the work…
I need to learn myself some new software as well
Q is still a bit under the weather
Nothing bad though
Well, back to the grind for me
Listening to co-workers chatting about various gaming platforms