3 Levels

Well, this weekend was a sobering trip. The fam went up to Northeast Ohio and visited my lone remaining grandparent while she was in hospice. That’s right, hospice. She most likely only has a few more days. There is a sadness of three levels that I am going to mention here on the blog.

Sadness level 1:
It is my grandma, and I am sad for her passing. It is difficult to see someone you care for, however much or however little pass on. It is more difficult to see someone you care for more have to deal with this process when they are unwilling/incapable to deal with it. This has been a struggle for my mom. She is not having a graceful time of this and I wish that things were easier on her through this process of losing her mom.

Sadness level 2:
It is hard to see someone less vibrant. No matter who it is, less vibrance is a sad thing to see.

Sadness level 3:

I recognize that there is a problem with my familial relations that it is incumbent upon me to rectify. Some background. My nuclear family is not a close family, therefore my extended family should more likely be referred to as my very-loosely-knit-through-some-kind-of-DNA association. With grandma’s passing the binds that draw these disparate groups of similar DNA together will dissolve nearly completely. That which society considers my extended family will cease to interact.

My mom will most likely not talk much to her bothers anymore. Aside from the odd occasional Christmas Card, I imagine there will not be any significant contact between cousins at all. The cousins will drift away from each other and that which is the extended family will cease to be. All that will be left is the not closeness of my nuclear family.

I need to make my nuclear family closer, and I am the only one who can do that.

On to something more enjoyable about the weekend trip.

When no one else was watching and I was holding my dying grandma’s hand, she looked at me and asked through her labored breathing an occasional aching moans in a voice barely above a wisper…

“Have you found a new job yet?”

Thanks a bunch grandma. I will miss you.

To recap:
There is nothing to recap
20 Questions Tuesday tomorrow is an interview with Riley from the soon to be insanely popular All Rileyed Up