20 Questions Tuesday: 155 - Re-Boot/Re-Launch

Well, it has been a bit of a hiatus, and whilst I was not posting many a thing has happened. In fact, I stopped posting because I could not post about what was going on and that was all I could devote any energy to.

I am sure details of the hiatus will come out over time, but for now I will hit the highlight... I was just offered a job and accepted. This happened on Friday January 22, 2010, only 1 day away from my 1 year anniversary of the lay-off from the previous employer. Yeah, ME!

Anyway, I have decided to make this blog pretty much just for 20 Questions Tuesday. I might post some other posts, but I doubt it. I am just not in that space anymore... Also, I have changed my handle from SRH to my more ubiquitous Internet persona of "mmmmmpig." On the Intertubes, I am mmmmmpig, and that is how it should be.

Anywho... some of the questions are about the job sitch and without giving too much information I will answer them to the best of my abilities.

So I have successfully started a reboot and re-launch. Ergo the topic for today of "Re-Boot/Re-Launch." Thanks this week go to Nadolny, John P, Dustin, Sparky, and Capt McArmypants.

On to the questions!
1. In regards to re-boot, I will ask the question on everyones mind. Do you have your shoes re-soled when they wear out or do you buy new ones?
I have never had a sturdy enough pair of shoes to be re-soled. So I get new shoes.

2. So are you still looking in the job market for a graphic oriented job. You know you rock at it!
No, I am not looking for anything full-time in the graphics field anymore.

3. What about part-time graphic work, gonna keep doing that?
Yes, I am really happy with some of the artistic growth that I have had in the past year and I am looking forward to continue that growth. In the past year I have really pushed myself graphically and artistically, and I intend to continue that in the years to come.

4. No word for months and now you expect questions, just like a man! Oh wait, I'm one too. Well, anyway, tell us the updates on the family four.
The family four...
Wifey: She has realized that she really does not want to be the sole bread winner in the family. That being said, her privatye consulting gig has really started to flower.
Little Man: He has been growing like a weed and has started using the dreaded sarcasm that Wifey and I knew would someday be used against us. He also got glasses in November.
Q: Is also growing like a weed. She is just such a vastly different child than Little Man, it is wonder that she is made from the same genetic material.
Me: I gots a job!

5. Tell us what graphic work you have done in the interim, show us what you are allowed.
I did a few illustrations for a local author to be included in his second book. I am working on the colors for a comic book pilot project that another artist I know is looking to shop around to some publishers. Hmmm.... There is the graphic design stuff I have done for Wifey's work as well as some web-site creation for one of her contracts, and a few other small things. I might post some of the work at a later date.

6. With all the problems computers have why don’t they just have a re-boot button instead the ctrl/alt/del combo?
Ctrl/Alt/Del was actually a hack placed into computers by programmers so they did not have to type "break" to stop code compiling or a program from running in DOS. They hard coded the ctrl/alt/del sequence into the keyboard system so it was universal. Initially it was not intended to be used by the common computer user.

7. When did re-boot become a word any way?
Well, it comes from the use of the colloquial usage of "to bootstrap" or start from nothing. You "boot" a computer up, and when you need to re-start you "Re-boot."

8. Your opinion on the re-boot of Tron 2.0.
I am cautiously optimistic, but the issue is that the original Tron, whilst a classic that I can watch over and over and over and over is riddled with incorrect dialog and computer related ideas, so T2on will most likely have very little congruity with the original without significant ret-conning.

9. Re-launching usually include balloons, can I expect to see some balloons?
No balloons this time around.

10. I Was wondering if you could switch my email address for this mailing from my work address that I answer to my home address that I don't?
You would be surprised how many times I get this request when send out my request for questions... anyone up for being added to the list of questioneers?

11a. Please tell us more about the job – what will you do? Where and when will you work?
I will be the Process Improvement Manager for a regional foodbank. It is a 8 to 5 job that will be starting up pretty much as soon as the HR hurdles are done.

11b. 1. WTH does a process improvement manager actually do? If you answer imporve processes, I will find you, yes I will, and when I do, the result will not be pretty, no it won't.
Sadly the gist of the position is to improve the operational processes of how the foodbank does its work. In essence though I am being brought in as a change agent to alter these processes because the organization just moved into a space that is 3 times the previous facility's size and the goal is to double the output of the organization within 5 years. The inventory is switching from paper to paperless, etc...

Basically I am being asked to fins out how to streamline the processes there... I am being asked to put my laziness to use. I am like water, I don't want to work harder than I have to and will therefore find the path of least resistance. I will quantify and qualify that path and spread the genius of my economy of motion to others. So it shall be written. So it shall be done.

12. The chapter that started 1-23-09 is about to close – reflecting back, what did you come away with? Any big discoveries, something you learned about yourself, etc.?
Hmm... that I am willing to reveal on this blog? That is a tall order indeed. I realized that there was a disconnect between my professional self and my private self.

13. Will you brown bag it on your first day of work?
Probably not. I think I might need to use that time as an escape from the overwhelming amount of information that will be heaped upon me.

14. Did you meet any of your new coworkers? First impressions? Surely they’re not as cool as we were, right?
I have met the 2 people I will be reporting to and they seem to have their shit together... in different ways from each other though.

15. What absolutely has to be re-booted before you start your new job?
My hygiene... mmmmmpig smells like a sty. Not having a job for a year will pretty much squelch most good habits including but not limited to bathing.

16. Can they really reboot the A-Team? I mean to make this good you need bad guys to get shot with guns and if you have guns employed in a meaningful manner you don't really have the A-Team. How do we fix this!!!!?
As long as they make a tank like object out of some scrap metal and a bulldozer everything will be all right. There has to be an 80's style construction montage though or it is all for naught.

17. How did they make the new GI Joe movie so terrible? I mean all I ask is for 10 GI Joe members with names I have heard of to infiltrate a base full of bad guys dressed in blue and blow it up. In stead I get multiple cases of memory loss, a mute with lips on his mask and flash backs to the 1500's?
This isn't a question this is a universal truth. That is why I like the cartoon version of "G.I.Joe Resolute" better.

18. Is there anything short of the grave that would prevent you from seeing the upcoming "The Last Starfighter" remake?
Not sure that one is going to get the green-light. Everything about it is coming up only as rumors that have not been updated since 2009 Q1. I will not have to worry about moving heaven and earth to watch this one.

19. Which do you find more pretentious? When people have stated they are "re-inventing" themselves more than once. OR When a meeting is held to discuss a "rebranding" effort........ ever?
Dude, um... I just re-branded my blog and re-invented myself professionally, is there something you are trying to say? Are you saying that I am pretentious? Well, I never! Good Day, Sir! I said GOOOD DAY!

20. Have you noticed that almost everything that has come out as a movie or TV show in the last 10 years has already been done better about 15 years ago (Except for that new Star Trek) and isn't it odd that we are the first generation to ever experience this feeling?
I am sure people felt the same way when posers started trying to do Shakespeare knock-offs at the Globe V2.0 in 1626 tens years after the bard's death.

To recap:
It feels good to be back
I have been itching to get back to this blog for about 2 weeks now
But I had to wait until the job stuff was confirm-able because I did not want to speak out of turn
I am now on Twitter, look for me as @mmmmmpig
I am going to do my best to interview some people I don't know for this blog as well as some people I only kind of know
I figure once a month there should be an interview of some kind
If anyone wants to step up and interview me, please feel free
Now I need to format this post so that it is ready before Wednesday!
EEeeek it is almost Wednesday
Listening to M79 by Vampire Weekend

20 Questions Tuesday: 150 - Potpourri

Well, it is Tuesday again and time for my meager offering to the Gods of Blog. I did not make the time this week to come up with a topic, so I made this week a Jeopardy Potpourri. It is a free for all, bitches!

Thanks this week go to Guido, Wifey, Belsum, Lsig, and Nadolny. On to the questions!

1. What is your favorite color, and why?
I am partial to green because it is the color of the woods, and I think I might be a druid at heart.

2. Would you go into space if you had the means and opportunity?
If the track record was significantly safe, I think I would go for that.

3. How much coffee is too much coffee?
I think 1 cup, that stuff sucks. How can it suck so bad when it smeels so divine. It is to hot beverages is what Sbarro is to mall food court eating.

4. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck, on an empty stomach, on a Wednesday?
1 cord, at best, but that is only if the woodchuck has thumbs. without thumbs the woodchuck would just look sullenly at the wood.

5. Would it be possible to build viable buildings with oversided Lego bricks?
Post and lintel construction has been around for a long time.

6. What were other names you considered for your children?
Big Man, Wendigo, The Lizard King, and Captain Sisko

7. Who was your kindergarten teacher?
I think it was Mrs. Hale. Capt McArmypants? You remember who it was, I am a bit foggy on it.

8. What should I be for Halloween this year? My only idea is green hair and that’s just sort of non-specific.
I would say Madam Hydra/Viper from Marvel Comics, or Shego from Kim Possible.

9. Why are the Boy Scouts suddenly selling popcorn? And why am I seriously considering buying some?
Boy Scouts have been selling popcorn since 1990.

10. How does Ardipithecus relate to Bigfoot on the evolutionary scale?
Much smaller and very much earlier on (especially if one subscribes to the gigantapithicus theory surrounding the idea of sasquatch/bigfoot/yeti)

11. What should I do if I can’t get my *ahem* working in time for the Sarah Jane Adventures season premiere on the BBC this week?
DVR it?

12. What is your favorite meal to cook?
Hmmm... mini skillet meat loafs, mainly because I like to eat it.

13. Aside from the steady paycheck, what do you miss most about having a regular job? What do you like most about not having one?
The grown-up non-familial conversation and not having to bathe regularly.

14. Read any good books lately?
A few. The Brent Weeks Night Angel Trilogy were good ones, but I am currently looking for some new fantasy/sci-fi authors, so share em if you got them.

15. On a scale of 1-10, how useful has your undergraduate degree been in your post-college life?
My undergrad? about a 5.

16. Thoughts on whether the proposed rail system would actually be used in Ohio?
Little Man would use it especially if Amtrack made it into a high speed rail system.

17. There is a controvery over the proposed wind farm because it might distrub some ancient Indian burial areas in the Dispatch today. Another on green funerals. Would it be a good idea to stop wasting land by burying dead folk in it and thinking that it will never again be touched?
I am not a huge fan of the idea of burial. I find that the sacred land does kind of get in the way of doing shit.

18. Tax, tax, tax. We are barely out of a recession (maybe) and all the governments want more. How can we possibly afford it and why can't they understannd that that will only retard the recovery?
Heh... You said "retard."

19. Cub Scouts for little man in the future?
Nope, I do not like the BSA's stance on homosexuality.

20. Did you have a pocket knife as a kid?
Yes, I actually had many.

To recap:
Q is not about sleeping
We miss the Q that was about sleeping
Man, she should be asleep by now, but you know what?
She isn't
Little Man's asthma has flaired up just a bit
We seem to think it has something to do with the change in seasons
He has a bit of a flairup every year about this time
When he was 1 through 3 it would require Orapred
So far it has not needed much intervention
That makes us happy
Especially since it looks like we will need to go to individual health care coverage soon
I will actually have something for a Digital Thursday this week
Listening to Wifey rock the little girl with the rocking chair, not The Black Eyed Peas... this time

20 Questions Tuesday: 148 - Wind

Here it is late Tuesday and Q is still not asleep. If there were a way to make the blog say “grrr” without it being a poorly rendered emoticon, I would.

It is September 29th and I am turning over a new leaf for this here blogarooney. There will be some changes coming in the near future, but the main thing is that I am only making my personal commitment to posting once a week. I will be continuing on with the 20 Questions Tuesday theme because that is the part of blogging that I have enjoyed the most. That is not to say that there will not be an occasional post here or there other than a 20 Questions Tuesday post, but, seeing as how that is the only effort I am willing to commit to, you, my dear fine readers.

Anyhoo... enough about the pending content change. This week has been a blustery week in Central Ohio. There have been some wind advisories and I think I saw Mary Poppins break the sound barrier. So, this week’s topic is “Wind.”

Thanks this week go to: ACW, Popo, Capt McArmypants, Belsum, and Wifey. On to the Questions!

1. Why is it called ‘breaking wind’ when clearly a wind is being created?
Because there is a sacred seal that is broken to let the wind escape.

2. Do you enjoy the howl of the wind past your window while sleeping?
I do really enjoy that. Probably more than I should (unless, of course, you are referring to the wind in the previous question. Then the answer is “Um... No.” With as much sarcastic emphasis as I can muster.)

3. The wind blows but you wind an old school clock – why the differences in pronunciation?
It is due to the cultural hodgepodge that generated the English language. English is an amalgam of Germanic/Nordic languages and Romance languages (specifically French). Since these 2 very different language styles have come together there are echoes from the past of pronunciation from both language systems.

4. What causes wind?
Entropy and enthalpy

5. Do you like the wind?
I do indeed.

6. Is wind power a viable alternative power source?
Not yet, but I think it has some of the strongest potential.... potential energy... he he!

7. How windy is it on Mars?
Very, why do you ask?

8. How will explain the concept of wind to the little ones?
I will say, “God farted.” Then I will have to explain God. That is when parenting will get dicy.

9. 1. So the rain is Tess, the fire is Joe and they call the wind Mariah? uh... why? and feel free to expound upon the other 2 I never got them either?
McArmypants, Doesn’t the US Military have a “Don’t ask, don’t tell” policy? Shouldn’t you be a bit less... um... telling in you question material?

10. So kite flying? Is that like the precursor to pong? or just a way to ruin someone's sun bathing/picnic and still be able to claim it was an accident?
It is neither, but I like the direction you are going with you usage of kite flying.

11. Ever got wind burn?
Once. As a kid in, whilst visiting Colorado, my face got a little chapped by the howling mountain winds.

12. So how comes when I do the "Luke I am your Father" into a fan it sounds all cool and stuff, but when I do the same thing in a heavy wind it does nothing? What am I doing wrong!?!?!?
The fan sonically modifies your voice by bouncing some of the sound waves off of the rotating fan blades. Wind is just moving fluid gas molecules.

13. Do you ever find a nice chilly motivating any more, or just cold? I find more and more often they are just cold?
“Brisk” is a term being used less and less in the SRH Household.

14. The Association’s “Windy” is clearly the definitive song involving wind. Any other good ones?
Dust in the Wind

15. Does the euphemism “gives me the winds” crack you up as much as it does me?
Only if done with a Monty Python accent.

16. Have you ever ridden the Zephyr?

17. I once composed an extemporaneous ode to the wind as I was on a solo walk along a marshland path. Is that weird?
That is a bit odd, but I would not call it full-on weird.

18. “Riding against the wind” or “riding uphill?”
“Pissing in the wind” and “Uphill Battle.”

19. Favorite woodwind instrument?

20. Chicago, truly THE “Windy City,” or merely just A “Windy City?”
I have to go with “A Windy City.” I know there might be some Chicagoans/Chicagites/Chicagonauts that will disagree with that statement, but I hear tales of wind in other parts.

To recap:
What a load of unnecessary expectations off of my back
Still jobless in Columbus
Bean soup seems to give babies gas
Go figure
I am oddly hungry right now
Mid Ohio Comic Con is this weekend
I might try and get there on Saturday for an hour or so
Listening to Wifey rock Q
In the “rocking chair” definition of “rock” not the \m/ definition

20 Questions Tuesdasy: 146 - Autumn/Fall 1

Looks like I picked a topic that resonated with the fine folks who send in questions. The topic for this week and next is “Autumn/Fall” I could not choose which name to call it because that is just how I am. Thanks this week go to Guido ( a new questioner), ACW, Capt McArmypants, The-Man-Formerly-Known-As-Lord-Pithy, and Lsig.

So we will get to the questions in just a second. First of all I would like to mention that I was interviewed for this blog, more specifically, here. Thanks to TheMikeStand for a wonderful interviewing process. Soon I will add a nice little icon showing that I was interviewed.

On to the Questions:

1. Is it called Fall because the leaves can't hang onto the trees?
Yes, Timmy, that is why they colloquially call this season “fall.” However, the converse is not true for Winter which should be referred to colloquially as “Frost” or Summer which should be referred to as “Hot-as-monkey-balls!”

2. Do girls named Autumn lose their hair seasonally? And are they required to be redheads?
I think you maybe implying too much seasonality to
the persons named Autumn. Their hair does not “fall” out and if their parents named them Autumn, they should have an Autumnal coloring with reddish/auburn hair and tan overtones on their skin.

3. Would you prefer a gradual dropping of the leaves or have them come down all at once (softly of course)?

I would enjoy seeing all the leaves fall simultaneously. Then there would only be one effort at raking a year. It could be made into a holiday in and of itself.

4. Is Fall the best smelling season of all or what?
I am gonna go with “or what” since I am allergic to leaf mold, and you know what fall smells amazingly like to me? Leaf mold.

5. Allergies worse in the fall? Seems to be the case in my house.
It is like these questions are prescient. My leaf mold kicks in around late September if it was a rainy Fall, otherwise the ragweed in the
summer does me in.

6. Do you celebrate when the mighty have fallen?
Considering that I am not mighty… yes.

7. Why will people name their children Summer or Autumn or even
occasionally Winter, but won't name their kid Fall or Spring?
Well, a kid named Fall will have “trip me” and “kick me” signs all over him and
Spring is a machine part that creates tension… I am not sure I would want a child to have that label as well.

8. Most people notice when the trees actually change colors and think that is the first sign of fall, but for me it will be when I am walking outside and there will be a breeze that is cooler than it should be considering the temperature of the day. What is your favorite Fall indicator?
My favorite one is that breeze you mention. It is best to have the windows open and napping when you feel that breeze.

9. If you were king, would you change the rule to
Spring Back, Fall Back? I know this will eventually result in a reverse of the diurnal, but if I had the power I could not resist the temptation of stealing an extra hour every 6 months. You?
This way people would eventually switch shifts anyway. I really like this idea. Twice a year means that in 6 years the US would be flip-flopped from the rest of the world. It would be like holding onto an archaic measurement system whose units were arbitrary at best.

10. Why is leaf raking an acceptable expected chore? I mean someone TP's your house I think you have an obligation as a good neighbor to clean it up even if it technically isn't your fault. With trees on the other hand, the only tree droppable I think you should be expected to address up is giant dead limbs that block the sidewalk and/or roadway.

Amen. I am allergic to leaf mold, so raking leaves is a chore I do when I want to be out of commission for a full 24 hour period.

11. Be honest, when you hear the word "Fall", there is a voice in the back of your head that sounds oddly kinda like the cartoon ghost of Christmas Future (Black Pete) from the 1980's Disney version of "Christ
mas Carol" that says "Samhain"?
Your question confuses and befuddles me. Yes, at the same time. What I don’t understand is why you don’t have a spooky voice saying “Samhain” even when it is not the fall.

12. Let’s change the name to Drop, OK?


13. Jump into the pile of leaves, or worry about what might be hiding in there?
As a kid I used to ride with a bunch of hooligans in their 8 year old used Audi 5000. In the fall these ruffians and I would drive said Audi 5000 into leaf piles left on the curbs of people’s yards who cared about their yard aesthetic. We would hit the leaves, watch the pile billow over the Audi 5000, and we ne’erdowells would cackle with delight. Until one of those industrious leaf pilers decided to mask a few cement blocks with his leaves. That was a noise we didn’t expect. The cackles of laughter changed to the harmonizing cursing that only the male teens of the 1990’s could produce. So, unless I rake the pile, I consider that there are cement blocks hidden within the Autumnal yard harvest.

14. Favorite autumnal odor?
Umm… burnt sienna

15. S’mores, not just for campfires anymore?

Better in the microwave, because then you can see the marshmallows blow up really big.

16. Why do I love apple cider so much?
Because you want to use mulling spices and have nothing to mull.

17. Do you prefer the poetic sounding "autumn"
or the sort of deadly accurate "fall"?
I like “Autumn” for the sound of the word, but “Fall” for the ease of use.

18. What is your favorite fall food or beverage?
Pumpkin Pie, like that is a real question.

19. I love cool fall weather but I dread the first t
ime the heat comes on because my allergies nearly kill me. Do you have anything you dread about fall?
Fall is the typical hunting season of the Vampire Bear. The Vampire Bear gorges itself on the blood of it’s victims in the fall so the undead behemoth can lay down for its long cold winter’s nap.
They couldn't do this in the winter, the river would be frozen silly
20. What is the best fall holiday?

To Recap:
Q is not asleep right now
Yes, it is after 11:00 pm
That is 2300 to you military types
Still no solid job prospects
I am starting to get a bit downtrodden about the whole jobless thing
I have some design work going on right now, but not enough to make a career out of
Especially since most of it is gratis and the rest is at wholesale hourly rates
Listening to Q play with toys that should be idle right now

20 Questions Tuesday: 144 - Kindergarten

Little Man is in kindergarten, so I figured it would be a good time to set up the venerable topic that is Kindergarten as the topic for today’s 20 Questions Tuesday. I was right because I get 20 questions rather quickly today.

Thanks this week go to Lsig, John P, Sparky, and Capt McArmypants (you will know his question by the bitter taste they leave in your mouth). On to the questions!...

1. Full day or half day? Which do you think is better for kids?
Orange cream-sicles, but I will expound upon that more later.

2. What is your best memory of kindergarten?
We used to have movie afternoons on Friday afternoon. Sometimes it was those crappy single slide animation crap with the really bad audio, but occasionally it was a film that they broke out the projector for.

3. What is your worst memory of kindergarten? Is it worse than mine of vomiting mac and cheese two inches from Ben, the boy I liked?
Hmm... Worst memory. I have tried mightily to repress those memories, and I am afraid that if I scratch the surface I will... oh, God... the horror! The Horror..... ummm, where was I? Oh, yes. The dropping of the Valentine’s Day cupcakes.

4. Who had a worse time of it on his first day- you or Wifey?
I had a worse day on the day of, but Wifey did her mourning the night before.

5. Where on Earth did the time go?
I have no idea, but I really wish I did.

6. Why is nap time phased out as we get older? I could sure use a scheduled break like that in my day!
I think nap time should not be wasted on those who do not appreciate it.

7. Does Little Man have a lunch box or am I totally out of touch with the new generation? I had a rocking $6 million man box and then a pretty neat KISS one.
He has a Speed Racer lunchbox (actually a soft sided insulated bag, and not a metal box with the potential to rust... Why Star Wars lunch box?!?! Why?!?!? that an 8 year old friend of his gave him... I am not sure it was a practical joke or not.... That movie was horrible.

8. Do Kindergartners still use the fat pencils or am I again dating myself? (maybe they get their own wireless mouse now)
I think you are dating yourself a bit. The school Little Man is at currently is trying to get Smartboards in all of the classrooms.

9. Is back to school shopping going to be a big deal in your household or just a low key "here you go" event?
It was a big event for everyone other than Little Man. He could not give a rat’s ass about what we were doing. It was taking him away from his playtime with his airplanes!

10. Hmmm SRH directing the local PTA our country is doomed!! Anyway if you are in charge is it appropriate to call the parents and their children your minions?
I have no aspirations of PTA dominance, but if I did they would most definitely be considered my minions.

11. What is Little Man’s K schedule – 5 full days, 5 half days, etc.?
He goes Monday through Friday from 8:50 to 3:25.

12. First impression of his teacher….
She seems nice enough. Word on the street is that she is awesome, but I will believe that after I have done my own diagnostics.

13. Who was your first friend in Kindergarten? Tell your devoted blog readers a little bit about Kindergarten SRH and his friend (insert name here).
It is hard to tell, I am sure Capt. McArmypants remembers who my friends were in K, but I do not. I did K through 2 in one school and 3 through 6 in another (of which I remember waaaay more) then I hooked back up with the first school system when I went to 7th grade. I honestly do not remember much from K.

14. Did Little Man get a special after-school treat to celebrate surviving his first day?
Nope, should he have? Wifey and I had vodka straight after we left him there for the cruel cruel world to beat him down...

15. What made the biggest impression on Little Man during his first day? (For Jack, it was all about the bus ride.)
"The cafeteria is also the gym, they just put the tables away when they use it as a gym." That is all we could get out of him after day 1.

16. So how come some kids get orange cream-sicles while everybody else has to eat crappy old fudge popsicles? I mean what up with that?
Let’s be clear there was only one kindergartner that got an orange cream-sicle, and that was me. I was allergic to chocolate and would break out in hives if I ate any. someone seems to hold that grudge against me on fudge popsicle day, yet conveniently forgets that I got some hideous graining red frosting on my birthday celebration cupcakes.

17. What was your favorite kindergarten memory? Most peculiar?
Orange cream-sicles... you can suck it, McArmypants! I got the orange cream-sicles that were orange on the outside with vanilla on the inside! Not even the crappy orange things where the vanilla is mixed in with the orange... as for the second part... Greg T. always throwing up in his lunchbox and then calmly closing it up like nothing had happened. I swear he did that at least 2 times a week.

18. Was it hard to adjust to dealing with all those other kids? Were you properly socialized or was it all pretty scary that first day?
I don’t remember it being all too difficult, but I had seen my big brother in school and just kind of expected that to be my fate as well.

19. So good ole Timmy C! What ever happened to that kid? I mean after the 2nd year of hysterical crying on the first day until his mom came and got him do you really think it is fair to bring him back to the same school? I mean how could he ever get a fair-shake after that?.......... I mean if he was NOT a hysterical nut bar or somehow overcame his hysterical nutbar tendencies.
Wow, the only kid I remember who locked himself in a car and cried hysterically. I remember laughing my ass about the locked in a car incident in the old construction tire play ground they had.

20. So the concept that Ms. Hale was like 10 years younger than you are now is kinda freaky huh?
Ow, that actually hurts a bit. I had not even thought about that. Man, I am old.

To Recap:
Kindergarten was a looong time ago
I am old
Today he drew at least 3 pictures of airplanes
This new obsession is hampered by his lack of understanding concerning enumeration districts and political boundaries
For example:
Little Man: How long would it take to fly from Ohio to Columbus?
Me: Ummm... Columbus is in Ohio
LM: How long a flight would it be?
Me: Dude (I love calling him “dude”), I am telling you, we live in Ohio.
LM: (frustrated and yelling a bit) NO!!! HOW LONG FROM OHIO TO HERE?!?!
Me: 0 minutes.
Listening to the fan in Q’s room

20 Questions Tuesday: 143 - Sleep

Here it is a Tuesday evening again and I have to crank out this whole 20 Questions Tuesday thing before midnight is upon us and my PC turns into a pumpkin. The topic for this week’s 20QTues is near an dear to my heart. The topic is “sleep,” the productive form of procrastination.

Thanks this week go to Formerly Named Lord Pithy, ACW, Sparky, Popo, Lsig, Belsum, and Dr B-Dawg. On to the questions!

1. Do you believe dreams use symbology to provide prophetic hints of the future, or just random firings of synapses that our unconscious tries to weave into a logical story?
I believe that both exist and are used, but I do not necessarily believe that the more prophetic dreams are due to some divine hand so much as ripples and folds in the fourth dimension.

2. If the world is the creation of a sleeping god,
and the alarm clock is set to 12-21-12, what do you suppose the chances are of hitting the snooze button?
If it is an alarm clock then indeed a snooze button will be smacked. Which means we have probably about six snooze cycles before the sleeping god absolutely HAS to get up.

3. In a perfect world, would you rather sleep all day and party all night, or own a flying horse?
Flying horse, provided I was able to sleep some.

4. Long pajama bottoms tend to twist around my legs and give me claustrophobic dreams. What gives you nightmares?
Well, you and your pajamas… but not as much as you sans pajamas…

5. I heard tequila was a good sleep aid – if it doesn’t work on the kids and should work on the parents. Thoughts?
Whiskey-dryl is the “medicine” of choice in Chez SRH

6. Do you fall asleep reading, watching TV
or listening to music?
Sometimes watching TV.

7. Does Little Man still get a bedtime story? Do you read to Q?
Little Man still gets some stories and we need to add a bedtime story to Q’s routine.

8. Where’s the strangest place you’ve fallen asleep because you’re just so darn tired?
Hmmm… uh… at my keyboard.

9. What thoughts keep you awake at night?
Vampire bears

10. Did anyone accurately convey to you (before you were parents) just how much parenthood would REDACTED FOR VIOLENT PROFANITY with your ability to sleep, whenever, without interruption, for as long as you’d like? People tried to tell me, oh they tried, but I didn’t get it.
There are not words in the human experience that will prepare someone for that level of sleep debt.

11. Equally as frustrating as a baby who doesn’t sleep through the night is a preschooler who won’t stay in bed once I’ve put her to bed…agree/disagree? Discuss?
I disagree because the toddler eventually does embrace the sweet caress of Morpheus (at least ours did, not the Lawrence Fishborne Matrix Morpeus either)

12. Why can’t I sleep for a few nights then pass out for 15-20 hours, then rinse and repeat??? Can one actually “catch-up” on sleep???
One can “catch-up” on sleep, but to my knowledge one can not “store-up” sleep.

13. What time is bedtime at the SRH/Wifey homestead? Do you and Wifey have set sides of the bed or do you have a rotation?
Wifey is usually asleep by 10 pm and I nod off around 1:30 or 2 AM. At the moment we do have assigned places on the bed, but when there are not wee ones ion bed with us, that is not necessarily the case.

14. Which do you prefer- a long sleep at night, or shorter nighttime sleep and then a nap?
I prefer to combine the 2 giving me a long sleep at night (or early morning to late morning) and a nice nap.

15. What are your optimal sleep conditions?
Cool with thunderstorms in the background… a rare occurrence.

16. Of all the people you know, who likes sleeping the most? (I suspect I know the answer or at least someone near the top of your list).
Ksig… I have never met someone else who gets angry at the world for ending his sleep.

17. Do androids dream of electric sheep?
I tried to find a good Bladerunner quote about sleep but none really jumped out at me.

18. Seems like everybody has some sort of sleep disorder these days. What gives? Didn’t it used to just be called “snoring”?
Just because it was not diagnosed does not mean it was not a named condition. Remember people used to die mysteriously from some ailment that later was revealed to be a treatable disease to modern medicine.

19. Why do people say “sleep like a baby” when they mean having a restful full night’s sleep? Babies don’t actually sleep like that.
I have wondered that myself. A bunch as I have to rock my screaming baby to sleep.

20. When the kids sneak into bed, do they announce their arrival or do they sneak in like ninjas?
Little Man is a ninja

To recap:
It is late and I am tired
But I have work that I must get done
I am not sure why so many people that I didn’t really know in Alabama are “friending” in Facebook
Number 1: I don’t really know you
Number 2: I am not of a similar world view because I have moved beyond
Number 3: Yes, I just made a value judgement
Number 4: It was a pot shot at the conservative ethos in Alabama
‘Bout to have to “un-friend” some folk
Still jobless in Columbus
Perseid meteor shower tonight and tomorrow night
Listening to Seven Nation Army by the White Stripes

3 Things

So I did not post much last week. You can blame "those darn kids." They have not been sleeping as well as they should in the places that they should during the times that they should. In effect, they are sleeping like kids.

anywhoo... 3 things to chat about since last I posted.

Thing the First:
Things have changed with Little Man. He asked us to pack up his trains and put them in the basement so that he could have room for his air plane toys. He now is trainless with 2 airports and 8 airplanes. It is amazing that the trains have been usurped. He has been devotedly playing with trains since he was 1.5 years old. He is now six so for 75% of his life he has been all about the trains and now he has moved on. I am not sure what to think of this. My thoughts or not, it shows that the Little Man is growing up whether we want him to or not.

Thing the Second:
It seems that most of the jobs that would be in my experience range and pay scale in the GIS community now require one to have a security clearance prior to applying for the position. The catch 22 of this is that to get a security clearance one must already have a job that requires a security clearance. Damn catch 22's.

Things the Third:

I love me some Strawberry Frosted Pop Tarts... but not those low-fat abominations

To recap:
I need to go to bed soon
Wifey has an early day tomorrow
That means I have an early day tomorrow
Because the kids will get up and I will not be able to con them into sleeping longer
Darn kids
Listening to the soft 'tack, tack, tack," of my keyboard as I type

20 Questions Tuesday: 141 - Vacations

When someone goes on a vacation for more than 4 days it is difficult for that person to not make things about, compare things to, and generally focus on his vacation. Therefore, today’s 20 Questions Tuesday is about vacations.

Thanks this week go to: lsig, Dr Clean, Belsum, John P, Capt McArmypants, Nadolny, and Zinger Zapper. Onto the questions:

1. True or False: The Go-Go's "Vacation" is the best vacation song ever.

2. Why is it that work and home maintenance problems always seem to hit critical mass during vacation, so you have even worse problems to deal with when you get back?
It is the way that co-workers and neighbors get back at you for having “fun.” Those 2 groups are a petty lot.

3. Are vacations with young children really vacations? Which is preferable, vacation with kids or without?
Yes, they are really vacations, but they take more effort and planning. I think both vacations with kids and without kids are necessary, so at different times they are both preferable.

4. My husband likes to totally relax during vacations, whereas I see them as opportunities to see and do different things from what is normally available, as much as possible. Where do you fall on the activity/no activity spectrum of vacations?
I lean more towards the “do different things” on the spectrum, but I would say that I am pretty much in the middle of the road for those extremes

5. “Are we there yet?”
Not much further now…

6. What is your definition of a successful vacation?
If fun was had.

7. Should you come back from vacation tanned, rested and ready or worn out from your adventures?

8. Where would you go in the world if you had $10k and two weeks?
Hmmm… 10K and 14 days? Can one travel for less than $725 a day?

9. Do you do laundry while you’re on vacation or pack enough to wear something clean each day you’re gone?
This time we planned to do some laundry. It was okay-ish-ly effective, since we were out of country for 8 days laundry seemed the best avenue.

10. Do you prefer to sight-see or try to live like a local?
Since we have recently been traveling with food allergic kids there is a certain amount of living locally that we are forced to do. But we also like to catch the attractions as well.

11. How many days does it take you to recover once you get home?
I will let you know when I have.

12. Staycation: obnoxious or good idea?
Staycations are a good idea if you can truly remove yourself from the typical. If you still answer emails and the like, are you really vacating your everyday life?

13. Are people that bring their pets with them nuts?

14. Any preference of the Vacation movie series: Vacation, European Vacation, Christmas Vacation, or Vegas Vacation?
I am partial to Christmas Vacation.

15. Why do we go on vacation and Europeans go on Holiday? Happy Hols!
I am not sure, but the Canadians still refer to the experience as Holiday as well.

16. Any memorable childhood vacations?
Only three that I can really think of. The first was when I was 10 we went to Colorado. The second was when I was 12 and my soccer team went to the Bobby Charlton School of Soccer Football. The third was when I was 13 and we went to Disney World.

17. What do you do or treat yourself to on vacation that you normally don't otherwise?
Hookers and blow.

18. What is the ideal amount of time for a vacation?
6 days

19. Do you dread going back to work the morning of work, the night before or last day of vacation while returning home?
I think you may have forgotten THAT I AM UNEMPLOYED, YOU INSENITIVE JERK!!!

20. What would be your ideal vacation family spot? What would be your ideal vacation spot when it is just you and Wifey? What would be your ideal get away for a weekend "bachelor" type vacation?
The mountains but within 30 minutes of some civilization for food allergy reasons. The mountains but within 30 minutes of some civilization for amenity reasons. The mountains but within 30 minutes of some civilization for convenience reasons.
+++++++++BONUS 2 QUESTIONS+++++++++

21. Have you ever had so much fun on vacation that you've had to destroy the photographic evidence so your children would never know (for both you and Wifey)?
Until we had a digital camera, we really did not take many pics on vacation… so no. What kind of vacations were you going on?

22. Are you a trip taker (itinerary planned) or vacationer (relaxing and fun by the seat of your pants)?
Wifey and I both tend to be very fluid with our vacations with only loose itineraries that we think about. We have a loose outline that is not binding in any way, shape, or form.

To Recap:
Okay, that is going to be it about the vacation
Here is Little Man on his 6th birthday

At Rissers Beach

Okay, THAT was the last thing about the vacation
Listening to Ballad of the Beaconsfield Miners by the Foo Fighters

3 Things

So, I am up here in Nova Scotia at Oak Island Resort and Spa serving as the primary childcare while Wifey works her fingers to the bone with her Talk Fu. So a few things have happened that need to be mentioned. Three in fact.

Thing the first:
Traveling with 2 younguns is still difficult to say the least. The whole traveling part is difficult, but when you add in the 2 hour delay on the tarmac in Toronto, it gets a whole bunch hairier. An air conditioner unit needed replaced (a repair that did not show up until after the plane had been shut and the intro movie was played). Cue an hour and a half of maintenance and paper work. This was followed promptly by the flight crew realizing that they could not legally fly due to an impending overage in consecutive flight hours if they carried on with the continuation from Halifax to London. So we had to wait for 15 minutes for another flight crew to make there way to gate 140, and then another 15 minutes for them to do all their pre-flight stuff.

This delay brings up 2 questions. Question the First: Is there any way they could have done the air conditioner check prior to closing the plane up? It is much more reasonable to have a 2 hour delay in the concourse than in the plane itself. Question the Second: a 2-hour delay threw these pilots over the edge of they acceptable hours? I have circled cities for 2 hours before. How razor close was their schedule?

Thing the Second:
Great googly moogly Mahone Bay is picturesque as hell! the fog lifted Sunday morning and I was pretty much dumb struck by the place. I will hopefully have some pictures later.

Thing the Third: While I am not really happy with the infiltration of the big box stores into more "pristine" retail enviornmnets, you always know what you can get at Wal-Mart. Doesn't matter where in the world you are, if you need diapers and pool toys, you know that Wal-Mart hjas your back. Now in the US you also know that you can find a cure for your low self esteem by people watching the knuckle dragging troglodytes that frequent the Mart of Wal. I am well groomed, polite, and in shape when I am at Wal-Mart... in the US!

In this Wal-Mart found in this maritime province I git none of that I am doing pretty well for myself feeling. The "dream-low" benchmark was gone. So, not only do I feel like an ass because I gave money to a soul-killing retail virus, I also didn't get the smug sense of self-satisfaction that I so need and enjoy.

To recap:
I have a blinding headache here
I think it has either something to do with the weather or the maritime
Still jobless
Little Man is about to lose one of his upper front teeth
He is insanely close to it falling out
I will do something 20- Questions-ish tomorrow
Listening to the sonorous slumbersong of my sleeping family

For those of you...

There are a few of you out there reading this here blog... I could probably stop there with the sentence and be accurate, but that is not the point of this post.

There are a few of you out there reading this here blog that will understand what I am about to write about. The rest of you out there will probably kind of "get it."

When you are attempting to work from home, and you have 2 kids at home... with you. The only work you get done is the laborious work aptly labeled as "parenting." (I almost typed "Patti LaBelled" but that is something entirely different, maybe we should consider it a new attitude.)

Anywho... Both Wifey and I have been attempting to get stuff done today while navigating the endless requests for lemonade and the more usual "eeeeeeeeeeengh" that is accompanied by a 1 year olds finger and unhappy stare. So I had work that needed to get out today and that did not happen. Why would you think that I would post?

Seriously, you people amaze me with your neediness.

To recap:
It is almost 9:30 and I am just now getting dinner
A healthy dinner of brats and brocolli, mind you
There is so much for me to do tonight
Some of it is looking for job related
Some is personal, so stop hounding me
Some is just sit that has to get done
All of it takes time
Listening to the blessed silence that is not kids asking for things

20 Questions Tuesday: 139 - Canada

So, in less than a month I will have been in Canada twice. How is that for weird? Therefore the questions for this installment of the ever popular 20 Questions Tuesday shall center around… I don’t know, maybe… Oh, Canada.

Thanks this week go to Sparky, Capt. McArmypants, John P, Dr Clean, ACW, and AllRileyedUp.. On to the Questions!

1. Curling or ice hockey?
Ice Hockey. Easily Ice Hockey

2. Favorite Canadian musical act?
Hmmm... there are so many good ones. The one with the biggest following is probably Rush, then there is Neil Young and Joni Mitchell and Leonard Cohen for longevity Bare Naked Ladies for mirth, Arcade Fire for more avant guard… there are too many to decide. For pure WTF? Reasons I will say Nickelback, because they have somehow become popular with the most derivative drivel ever put on the airwaves. Creed has talent compared to those lyrical genii.

3. Molson’s or Moosehead?

4. Will you partake of any poutine?
I will not be up Quebec-way, so, No. I will be again traveling to Nova Scotia with a side trip to Prince Edward Island likely happening. Little Man is excited by the idea of a ferry ride.

5. So would Curling over take Hockey as the most popular sport in Canada if they just instituted full contact rules similar to those in "The Game" as played in the blockbuster hit "Blood of Heroes"? On a side note: When Dog-Boy says "NOO! No one carries Dog-Boy!" Don't you tear up just a little?
Umm… “no” and definitely “no.”

6. So how do those Tauro-tans as they are called keep Toronto so clean eh?
They all do what they can which collectively is a whole bunch. If they could use that power more for good than cleanliness imagine the outcome!

7. So will Canada and the US ever become one giant nation? I read an article in the 90's that stated 70 something percent of Canada assumed one day they would be American citizens. When are they just going to give up and become another one of our states?
After having been to Canada a few times and talking to many a Canuck, I have determined through my colloquial information gathering techniques that they do not, in fact, want to be Americans. They are quite proud of their Canadianness.

8. Do you think they would get more tourism dollars if they dropped O'Canada as the national anthem, changed the name of the country to Can-NAaaY-DEE-YAH and let Bryan Adams take a crack at writing a new one? .....THAT GUYS IS A WORDSMITH I TELLS YA!!! A WORDSMITH!!!!!!!!!!
I am not quite sure how to answer this. We all know that Bryan Adams is quite the wordsmith, but shouldn’t the Canadian National Anthem be penned by Corey Hart?

9. STOP SENDING US YOUR COMEDIANS DAMMIT!!!!......but somehow read that as a question........?
Some of them are funny though... Well, if you are into that kind of thing.

10. Canadian bacon, can it only come from Canadian pigs?
Sadly, yes. That is why it is so rare in the US. We have to live with crappy “ham” when we could be dining on the delectable deliciousness that is Canadian bacon.

11. What other Canadian delicacies do you know of (maple syrup doesn't count)?
The Cruller. Mmmmmm doughnuts….

12. Will it freak you out to see speeds listed in Km? I liked it not one bit the last time I was there!
Speed in Km is kind of fun. I feel all rebellious going at such a high numerical rate of speed in town.

13. Quebec keeps trying to become independent through referendums voted on by those who live in that providence. If Quebec really wanted to become independent wouldn’t it just be easier to have a referendum in the rest of Canada and ask them to vote them out?
I think you maybe onto something, but that would be a bad precedent to start because I could easily see the states latching onto the idea of “voting out” and forcefully succeeding Alabama, Arkansas, and Mississippi.

14. In Canada they have big signs warning that “Fatigue”, “Tailgating” and “Drunk Driving” all KILL! How does anyone have the courage to leave their damn house? Then again is it just me, or are the big signs along the 401 that say “Fatigue Kills!” just cooler in French,,, "La Fatigue Tue!”
“La Fatigue Tue” is oddly both cool and un-cool at the same time.

15. Why didn’t we stop Celine Dion before she crossed over? Can’t we deport her?
Sadly Celine Dion is at least 1% of the United States GDP at the moment with her Vegas show. It is hard economic times indeed.

16. Have you been to the Canadian area of Epcot Center?
I have indeed. I feel sorry for the guys dressed like Mounties in Orlando, Florida in August. Yikes.

17. Any chance of the MLS title going to a team from Canada?
Toronto is a real contender this year. With the addition of Gerba on their front line and the potential signing of Julian DeGuzman to upgrade a midfield that already has Guevara and DeRosario… They could be the real deal.

18. Best Canadian sports team?
The Canadian National Hockey Team

19. I keep spelling Canadian "Candian" -- what do you think Candian should mean?
I am not absolutely sure what Candian should be, but it should definitely have something to do with licorice.

20. Have you ever heard a Canadian myth about bears and if so, what was the name of the bear?
I have not and I am sure the name is not Shecky.

To Recap:
The weirdest thing about Canada is just how eerily similar it is
Little Man is supremely jazzed about the trip
He gets to ride on Air Canada and everything
I am not using my cordless keyboard at the moment because it needs new AAA batteries
Therefore it is not typing so well. I am not sure I like this other keyboard too much though
It is kind of “springy”
I have stuff I need to do, but I need to find my pencils to do them
They are somewhere in the house…
I can’t narrow it down more than that
Oddly, I am still un-employed
Listening to Flagpole Sitta by Harvey Danger

10 things

Ooh, 10 things... are you worried, I usually only bring up 3 things, but I am going hog wild here.

10 things I have had to "take care of..." if you know what I mean...

Thing the First:
Camel Crickets... they were in the basement of the childhood house.... ewwwww

Thing the Second:
That slow chipmunk from yesterday... don't try to cross 5 lanes of traffic unless you mean it

Thing the Third:
7 mice (4 this weekend)

Thing the Fourth:
Spiders... I hate them, I fear them, yet I have to take care of them

Thing the Fifth:
Fire Ants.... those bastards can take over a yard and hurt really badly when they bite but they seem to be susceptible to relocation due to matches and WD-40

Thing the Sixth:
A rattle snake

Thing the Seventh:
Chipmunks... it was because of me the show was cancelled

Thing the Eighth:
I short tubby dog that ran into my rear tire... I was saddened by this one greatly

Thing the Ninth:
Yellow Jackets

Thing the Tenth:
Nedly and Pirky

To recap:
I have become Shiva, Destroyer of Squirrels
i love that quote!
Still jobless in Ohio
That should be a new Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan movie
20 Questions Tuesday is up for tomorrow
How about Canada as a topic?

Digital Thursday

So here is how it went down. It is Sunday evening late, it is the day after I got home from Canada, I have a proposal due Wednesday for some web development that I have never attempted before, and the lovely and amazing Wifey says to me, “I need you to make a map for me tomorrow.”

Really, tomorrow, Honey? You know all that I have to get done and I am still a bit travel stunned, right? Oh well, it is something to do at least. She determined with my lack of vocation that I had ample time to accomplish my tasks. She was right.

She outlined to me what she needed for a women leaders in non-profit organizations (a very small population) meeting. She wanted to look at the path that the previous meetings had taken and thought a landscape would be a fun way of doing it. I put my Tolkien hat on and here we go

Click to embiggin and then click it some more.

Been a while since I had a “Digital Thursday.”

To recap:
Wifey just got the 15in MacBook Pro
It is all shiny
Got a free iTouch with it
Go her!
She is so close to making one of those “Make the Switch” commercials
Isn’t there a joke about Born Again Christians and Mac Switchers?
Listening to Fern by Zoe Keating
4 posts in a row
Eat that!
Have a great weekend everyone

The End of an Era

The problem with hating hippos and yetis is that there is not that much opportunity to hate them directly… Yes, I typed ‘opportunity’ on purpose there. Much like love you must practice hate, and, in this case, it has been a long time since I have practiced hate for the river horse and our hairy brutish mountain dwelling cousin. There just has not been much reason to seek out the hippo or taunt the yeti.

You see, even though the hippo is the most dangerous of the mega-fauna that are left inhabiting out world, the animal itself is rather pitiful in its dangerousness. It is territorial in the water and sunburnable in the air. It is aggressive in the water, but tires quickly on the land. The limits of its “comfort zone” seem to be a riverine environment and a riverine environment alone. Get past the riparian vegetation and the hippo is just an overweight, sun-burning, pig that cannot see very far.

The yeti is a daunting enemy to say the least, if you are in Nepal, but if you are not one of the 10 people in the world considering yourself Nepalese and you don’t climb mountains for a hobby, then you are never going to meet up with a yeti. Do yeti exist? Sure they do. Do people really care? No, Not really.

Herein lies the problem with hating the hippo and the yeti. Both creatures are more pitiable than loathsome. It takes effort to hate and it takes reminders to give effort. Without constant reminders there is no consistent effort and therefore no hate.

I find it sad to say but the bilious vitriolic fervor with which I vomited distaste for the hippo and yeti has subsided over the past year to a dull apathetic ache that is meekly rotting away somewhere in the twists and curves of my small intestine where the beginnings of poop reside.

To recap:
The hate has washed out of me do to apathy
Most things wash out of me due to apathy
Could I hate them again?
Sure, if given the right stimuli
I am not sure if the right stimulus exists though
Fare the well, yeti and hippo hate
It was a nice run while it lasted
Vacuum.... Nature abhors you and so do I!
Listening to Critical Hit by No More Kings

20 Questions Tuesday: 138 - Assumptions

Here we go with the 20 Questions Tuesday. The idea behind this day’s 20 Questions is all about assumptions. You all (the 3 of you who still read here) have assumptions of what I was doing whilst not posting. The questions today revolve around your assumptions.

Thanks this week go to All Rileyed Up, Wifey, and some other guy.

On to the questions:

1. How many diapers did you change?

I would say on average 2 or 3 diapers a day. So I was off for 28 days that means around
56 to 84 diapers. Some of which were poopy.

2. Were you busy commemorating the death of Michael Jackson? Or Farah Fawcett? Or Ed McMahon? Or had you still not gotten over David Carradine? How many people asked you a question about Michael Jackson?
Sadly, I was not commemorating any of the celeb d
eaths… I was in Halifax when MJ died so I got to hear the Canadian version of his retrospective. It ended in “eh.”

3. Read any good books?
Reading a good one right now. It is the first in a 3 book series by Brandon Sanderson called “Mistborn.” Some really good writing and character development.

4. Did you see Transformers 2, Up, or Ice Age 3 in 3-D? I'm considering all three and wouldn't mind an opinion from someone who has seen them. I feel T-2 might be worth seeing on the big screen for the FX, Up will be great since it's Pixar, and Ice Age would be enjoyed on the big screen because of the 3-D but all those movies and the cost of tickets these days and my lack of a job... it just doesn't add up for me. So, um, what was my question... oh yes: have you seen any of them?
I have not seen any of the 3 that you referenced, but I have heard many things about 2 of the 3. Transformers 2 is an art house movie of incongruity and the study of FX over story. The reviews I have read about it seem to indicate that if you like Megan Fox and Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, there are about 50 seconds of film that will make you happ
y. Up has had better reviews, but the review from Wifey is that it is brilliant until the inclusion of the villain. Ice Age 3-D has not hit the SRH household’s collective consciousness.

5. Are you concerned about the number of celebrities who died while you were on blog hiatus? I suggest you not try this again.
Suggestion noted.

6. So when you meditated for 6 days straight with over 200 people what were you thinking?

Umm… oh, I mean “ohm.”

7. Why the obsession with breakfast meat?
I don’t quite understand the question. Breakfast meat is glorious.

8. So how many people realized it was your birt
hday on Sunday June 21st?
The Canadian Customs official noticed the similarity in the date on my customs page and wished me a happy birthday. Other than that I was surrounded by people who knew me, but didn’t really “know” me.

9. So have you noticed the correlation between turning 35 and your ankle dying?
It took 2 weeks for my body to realize that I was 35, but when it did… so I guess that means my reflexes are slowed as well. Great.

10. So why did you do it?

I didn’t do anything. You can’t prove anything. No one saw me… I have said too much…. Did you like what I did?

11. Really? 6 days with the ‘rents?
That is not really about the hiatus. It is still on-going… they leave tomorrow morning. At least I have been getting free meals from them. It is a horrid feeling having your parents buy groceries for you when you are 35, and if it is not a horrid thing, then you aren’t a good person and you are free loading off your parents, you make me sick.

12. After meditating with over 200 Buddhists, do you feel peaceful, happy, and free?
I more felt trapped, fraudulent, and self-conscious. Self-conscious could be considered more self-aware, yes?

13. So while you were internationally gallivantin
g around North America, who did you miss most, from the Internets?
Hmmm… I assume you understand that my Wife and I actually Skype with each other pretty regularly (and that is not a euphemism, we have 2 kids and 0 euphemisms). So my wife is the cyber prescience I miss
ed the most.

14. How many jobs did you have to turn away?
What a nice and friendly assumption, but I am still jobless. I have broadened my search categories though. I am sure a job is just around the corner.

15. What did you miss most about the US while you were trapped in Canada?
My family... and breakfast meat.

16. What do you miss most of Canada now that you are back in the boring old US of A?
The foggy mists and cool weather.

17. Did you think I would not find out about what you said?
I had hoped.

18. So, why did you almost complete a sketch about a garbage can?
Well, it was the most prevalent thing in the view.

19. Gone for almost a month, I bet you don’t even have anything done for Digital Thursday.
That isn’t even a question. That is a comment. And it is an incorrect comment at that. Boo-YA! You are gonna have to wait ‘til Thursday to see it though.

20. You were gone for 28 days, right? So are you cleaner and soberer?
Quite the opposite. I drank more and bathed less.

To Recap:
I’m back
And I’m ringing the bell
Tomorrow will be something about renewing old themes
They need new blood
And new blood they shall have
It will be like a reunion of sorts
But in a good way
Listening to Veronica by Elvis Costello

5 Things

So I have been away for a while and I offer no apologies to the less than 10 people who read this here corner of the Internets. I am un-apologetic and a bit sassy, I could be the female lead of a sitcom with those attributes.

Here are 5 things that happened whilst I was away from the Internets.

Thing the first:
I turned 35, since then my back has hurt and I have been hobbled by some affliction on my left heel. I think it is the ankle cancer, but my wife seems to think it is Achilles Tendonitis. It seems to be feeling better with Motrin and ice and keeping it elevated, so kudos to those three methods of ankle cancer treatment.

Thing the second:
I am still sans employment. This is a craptastic economy for looking for a new career or looking within an existing career. It is all about who you know and my previous employer kept me under a rock.

Thing the third:
I had a lovely dinner in Halifax, Nova Scotia with theMikeStand from Speak into the Mike. I guess it was a better time for me since I am writing about it, but to be fair he seems to be on a summer hiatus from blogging as well. He grilled out some steaks, and we had asparagus, potatoes, sweet potatoes and Mississippi Mud Pie. It was lovely. I drew 2 pics for his kids and had a great conversation with him and his wife about the most deplorable children’s names. It was glorious.

Thing the fourth:
I went to Halifax, Nova Scotia for a conference/institute/hoot-nanny called The ALiA institute. It was really a great thing for me. It was the first time I had been away from the fam on my own for more than 3 days since Little Man was born. It was a good time for me to focus on me. The problem is that the time I took to focus on me has made me into a megalomaniacal force of nature. This is me, hear me roar!

Thing the fifth:
I just talked my wife into getting an iBook with the inheritance money from my techno-phobic grandma. Yes, the grandma whose next to last words to me were, and I quote, “Do you have a job yet?” Miss you grandma. Wifey has been angling for an iBook for quite some time now. Angling so much that she has been slowly degrading her current laptop’s USB ports and causing the machine to overheat with her hawtness. Laptops cannot handle teh sexsay.

To recap:
Don’t call it a comeback
I been here for years
Rockin my peers and putting suckas in fear
Makin the tears rain down like a MON-soon
Listen to the bass go BOOM
Glad to be back in the saddle
20 Questions Tuesday is back tomorrow!
Listening to That’s Not My Name by the Ting Tings


Here is an email conversation between Dr B-Dawg, myself, and a third party who wants to remain nameless due to the graphic nature of this conversation. The conversation was spurred by the un-timely death of David Carradine.

The conversation for a set of emails was simply entitled "David Carradine:"
Dr B Dawg:
Let us bow our heads in a moment of silence. The only thing i heard about his death is that they found his body in a bangkok hotel. At least he went out the way you'd expect him too. no doubt filled to the top with thai hookers and opium.

They found a "chord around his neck and body" Autoerotic-asphyxiation anyone?

3rd Party Who Wants to Remain Nameless:
Here here. As of himself in death as he was in life. .....sigh. Hopefully this will spur Hollywood to do the much needed Kung Fu remake.

I’m going to buy a poster of him this evening and add it to my special shrine room.

You have too many rooms

I had the same thought. He clearly pulled a Bob Crane.

So off the top of my head, to rank the autoerotic-asphyxiation club members: 1. David Carradine 2. Bob Crane 3. Michael Hutchens

Wow that is a pretty high caliber list, that may be the most rarified air Karate Dave ever got to breathe in his whole life.

I think you should add Val Kilmer to that list... eventually

Apparently he [Val Kilmer] lives like 2 miles from this building. Now that I think about it I can't image why I have not set aside a weekend to stalk and strangle him to death and make it look like AEA. I mean who DOESN'T think he will be on this list soon enough. No alibi required. What?.....HE SHOULD PAY FOR BATMAN FOREVER!!!! .... it is about balance really.


I have to disagree with that one, a woman [Val Kilmer] would never let that happen to her.

Oooooh burn!

Fair enough

So who should play Kwai Chang Caine for the remake. I recommend some one who looks even less Asian than David Carradine, as it will send a strong message to China that we don't need them!!


Christian Bale will do it. He’ll do anything.


Sean William Scott

That is brilliant.

Be like The Bullet Proof Monk in the old west

You bill it like that and I don't see how you could lose.

I am nothing if not market savvy.

The Rock could be his master.

You are genius. Let’s be clear though, the Rock is everyone's master. Can you smell what I’m cookin’?

Spoken like two people who have not seen the new Race to Witch Mountain. Can YOU smell what I’m cookin’? Scorpion King RoCKs!!!

Why in god's name would you see Race to Witch Mountain?

uhhh... The Rock. duh!


"Let’s be clear though, the Rock is everyone's master"--SRH He didn't have a choice.

So rarified air then? News sites confirm it [auto-erotic asphyxiation]!

That is why you should always have a safe word. It is interesting that Fox News went with “penis” and the AP report used “genitals.” That makes his funeral a fun event now right. It is hard to weep for someone after that. Unless it is from laughter.

Yet the laughter weeping is easy.

In this case it is more than easy it is almost uncontrollable.

I heard the laughter is funnier if you choke yourself while laughing.

The conversation went on a bit after this, but it was mainly about them allowing me to format this and post it.

To recap:
What a way to go
Friday was National Doughnut Day
Here is the evidence of Little Man partaking in the festivities
20 Question Tuesday is up tomorrow
Listening to Little Man watch some Penguins of Madagascar on the DVR

Sick Baby

Okay, Q is snuffly and all congested, so I will not be giving any attention whatsoever to 20 Questions today. I know it is hard to deal with, but, please persevere as best you can.

To recap:
Q being sick = short non-interesting post
Just a normal everyday ailment
Nothing swiny or fluey about it
Hopefully I will have more to post tomorrow
That is, if she is not even more sick

3 things

Three quick things to discuss today.

Thing the First:
Q is hard to try and keep sleeping at night. Looks like she has a mild cas of the constipation and that is making it a bit difficult to keep her asleep. She tends to wake up very 2 hours in screaming and trying to crawl out of her skin in a clear amount of pain/discomfort. I am amazed at how much conversation revolves around poop for parents of very young children.

Thing the Second:
Little Man is testing boundaries. Wow, is he testing.

Thing the Third:

Got a call back for a "part-time, ad hoc, as needed" position. How about those qualifiers?

To recap:
It is late, but still Monday, so quit your whining
A good weekend marred by fevers and lack of pooping sleep
Reading Blood Ties by Pamela Freeman
20 Questions Tuesday is tomorrow
Q is stirring again
Gotta go...
Listening to the baby monitor


It seems my enemies have abandoned me. The yeti no longer lurks about with messages of hate and misunderstanding, and the hippo is a simple beast that is easily lured to its demise with the promise of crystal meth and heroine. In many ways these threads of hate and antagonism are either dead or dying, and that makes me sad.

It is difficult to be caustic and vitriolic without something to causticize or vitriate. I am a bitter person with no appreciable target to vent his bile. That is either a very good thing or the thing that will bring about the destruction of society. There is no middle ground, therefore in order to potentially save society as we know it, I need to find a number 1 object of my loathing.

The issue is that I do have some stringent criteria for such a high state of my detestation.

Criterion the first:
The object must not be something from my daily life. If the object of my greatest animosity should not be something I run across everyday, lest I be immobilized with my fervent hate at any and all hours of the day.

Criterion the second: The object of my blackest of murderous emotions (I have a range of murderous emotions) must “earn” my deepest revulsion. The yeti earned my gall by its very existence, but it seems that my last entreaty to him has caused him to go “underground” and search his feelings. Then Yeti was supplanted by the hippo due to its lack of natural predator and the overconfidence that instilled in the water horse. Now it is time for the Hippo, loathsome as it is, to take the passenger seat in the custom van of all I hate, while the Yeti gets relegated to a captain’s chair that can swivel. The problem is that I don’t know who/what should be worthy of driving the Custom Van of All I Hate.

(note: this is an example of a custom van, this is not the Custom Van of All I Hate, there are no pictures of that… it ruins negatives and erases digital media)

So, while I quest for new gainful employment, I also will be looking with my trained eye for something to abhor. You have all been warned.

To recap:
I am open to suggestions
Hateful, hateful suggestions
This stupid weather hurts my head
I have taken measures to combat that
Motrin, Sudafed, and Mt Dew
The medicine of champions
BBQ pulled pork for dinner
Not sure what the sides will be, or if it will be ready before Wifey and I go to a meeting tonight
So I will edit
Maybe BBQ pulled pork for dinner tonight
Listening to Welcome Back Father by Earl Greyhound
Beyond here… there be dragons