Ice Cream Man

As a kid I remember the jingle in the air and the odd tune coming from afar and running to my mom for any loose change to run screaming for the Ice Cream Man! The Ice Cream Truck would slowly amble up the hill and my neighbors and I would run out for out bomb pops and ice cream sandwiches. We would all jostle and maneuver for our place in line and wait at the window of the Ice Cream Truck for the Ice Cream Man to offer us frozen goodies in exchange for cold cash.

Truth be told, I was allergic to dairy for most of my childhood, so the Ice Cream Truck didn’t hold a super amount of appeal for me. That being said on more than one occasion I would line up for some kind of popsicle treat with the neighborhood kids (even the weird kids who lived across the street and didn’t talk to us). Since the Ice Cream Truck was not a super sacred memory of mine I feel like I can say with all sincerity and without much of the Golden Age glasses effect that many people reminiscing about the past, our Ice Cream Trucks were better. They were usually modified solid white or solid yellow delivery trucks that were relatively clean and relatively well maintained. The stickers and advertisements on the sides were usually just the menu of treats associated with the truck’s inventory and maybe if the truck was beholden to a specific frozen treat distributor.

Today’s “trucks” mainly seem to be modified conversion vans of dubious maintenance. They are clearly “used” vans that have crudely cut out “service windows” with the unauthorized likeness of licensed characters badly hand scrawled in tempera paint adorning their rust covered hulls. I am unimpressed by your squishy looking SpongeBob with decidedly non-squarepants hastily painted over the former van owner’s delicate yet powerfully airbrushed wizard and castle. Your attempts at hawking my kid your “Tastee Frozen TREETS” have fallen on deaf ears. Even worse your over-powered Midi blasted Muzak bothers my kid enough that we left the park today to get Vanilla Frostys at Wendy’s.

To recap:
It is still Wednesday somewhere
Why won’t the kids go to sleep
It isn’t both of them at the same time though
When Little Man goes right to sleep, Q is up until 11
When Q goes down quickly, Little Man is up 3 or 4 times that night
I think they are conspiring against us
Listening to Sweep the Leg by No More Kings