20 Questions Tuesday: 178 - Contracts

My contract option with Job 2 was not picked up for the rest of the year due to some change that is taking place within that organization (new Executive Director coming in January).  It is not my preference to not be working there, but it is quite understandable, so no harm, no foul.  Alas and alack I am now professionally solely mired within Job 1… which is the suck.  regardless of my current employment situation, this non-renewing of my contract made me think of the idea of contracts. Therefore this week’s topic is an odd and obtuse topic of Contract.
Thanks this week go to  Lsig, Reilly Brown, Chris Ring, Ballpoint, Some Other Guy, and Brett Wood.  And no thanks go to Jason Baroody for not helping out at all.  On to the questions!

1. “Contracts” = part of “work”, “contractions” = part of “labor”. Coincidence?

Are you asking me if childbirth is work by using the transitive property?  Uh, childbirth is definitely work. 

2. What does it say about me that you mention “contract” and my brain fills in the word “killings”? (and what does it say about you that we are friends?)

Number 1: it says that you are one of the few people I know I will get along with
Number 2: it says that you and I most likely need significant psychiatric help.

3. Why isn’t a General Contractor someone who signs contracts with Generals?

By Generals, you mean the Washington Generals who play exhibition basketball games against the Harlem Globetrotters, Yes?  Well, that is a very small population to be able to claim that title…

4. Do you read the fine print in your contracts?

For service contracts and other typical run of the mill end user agreements for cell phone data plans and software EULA’s, no.  However, for contracts like mortgages or contracts for my work? Yes.  Does that mean that I understand what the fine print says?  Nope, it does not.

5. Do you think the small print gets upset about being just called “fine” all the time?

Well, when the print asked me… I think it would like to be known as “gorgeous” or “stunning” print or maybe even “that dress is hot and makes your ass look great” print, but in my obliviousness, I just said it was “fine.”

6. Would you rather be paid per hour, or per job?

For my fantasy and sci-fi mapping and illustration work, I tend to like using a hybrid approach.  I typically give a lump sum fee for the first x hours of work and then an hourly rate after that. 

7. What’s an offer you can’t refuse?

A request for work that I feel unable to turn down.

8. You’re best bet in handling a contractDeathstroke or Deadpool*?

Well, it depends on whether or not they are the protagonist of the story or not.  If they are the villain, then I will not pick that character.  It seems that handling a contract depends primarily upon protagonistship.  As long as Deathstroke or Deadpool are the protagonists, I will take either of them.  If they are the antagonist…. that is a different story.

9. Whats the most serious ailment you have ever contracted?

I would have to say the full-blown flu.  1.5 weeks sick.  Yikes.  Either that or that evening I was throwing up and had diarrhea… that was a horrible night, but the flu lasted a week and a half.

10. What is the biggest contract you have ever been a part of?

Well, I think it was printed on legal paper.  That is 8.5 x 14 inches for you non paper literate people and 215.9 x 355.6 mm for my metric friends.

11. Expand or contract?

Well, sadly, weight-wise, I am expanding, luckily not geometrically (at the moment)

12.  Ever had a contract out on you?

Well, not that I know of.  If I have had a contract out on me to “do me in” it has been accepted by the most ineffectual assassins in the world.  Very easy to avoid… unless they have employed the use of deep fried dough and neufatal cheese… that stuff is sure to kill me.

13. How far in does your sphincter contract when you don’t get enough questions?

Actually, not getting enough questions is pretty old hat.  I will  let you in on  a little secret (since we are all friends here).  The Some Other Guy who often asks questions is actually me.  I fill in for the lack of questions pretty darn often.

14. How many contracts do you think George Lucas has signed or have been signed by his representatives?

Hmmmm…. Gonna go with 292,843.

15. What happened to all those contracts with the Indians?

I assume you are talking about the American Indians and not the East Asians or the American League Major League Baseball team based in Cleveland, Ohio.  Simple, the forked tongue devil broke all those contracts because we wanted their land for various reasons.

16. When do you think the the universe will start contracting?

I think that due to space eddies and the like, there are some places where it is already contracting, but on the whole I would say in about 25 billion years, but I am no cosmologist. 

17. Who do you think made the first contract?

I am going to go with the Babylonians for 500, Alex.

18. Have you read Will Eisner’s A Contract with God and if so what did you think of it?

I have not read that, so I really don’t have an opinion on it.

19. Everyone freeze!  I dropped my contact… the topic was “contact,” right?

Nope the topic was “Contract,” but thanks for playing.

20.  Have you ever wanted to put a contract out of anyone? Have you ever wished someone dead?

q1: Nope

q2: I can honestly say that I have never wished someone dead… I have tried black magic spells, voodoo, hexes, and more personal efforts, but I have never wished someone dead… They have died other ways, but I have never used my power of wish to finish someone off….

To recap:
*Deathstroke and Deadpool were drawn for Ten Ton Studios Sketch Challenges from a few years ago
Down to 1 job as of Dec 1
And I have been to the Gym 3 times already
It is amazing how much time I have now
I only have 1 drawing left for a client
I am going to get that 1 done this week
Wifey is heading out of town all of next week
Home the kids like burnt toast, day old pizza, and warm juice served in a dirty cup
‘Cause that’s what they are getting
Lots of good interviews in the works
People are busy… and stuff
Have a great weekend everyone