This week is the week when I turn 38 years old, or is it 38 years young? It is on Thursday the 21st, and I will gladly accept PayPal donations as a gift. Anyhoo… what I have found is that on birthday week’s thoughts inevitably go to, well, birthday. I am not sure how I will celebrate the day. I might just decide on taking the day off from work. That and a specialty pizza from a take and bake place down the street.
Anyway… Thanks this week go to Chris Ring, themikestand, Lsig, Lord Pithy, Ballpoint, Chris Corrigan, Allrileyedup, Ralph Harbison, and Dr B-Dawg. Onto the questions!
1. A: At what age do birthdays cause depression rather than celebration? B: Are birthdays even worth celebrating past 21?
A: Age 2
B: Most definitely. They are a great time to tell others, “Suck it, bitches! I made it another year!”
2. Best Birthday gift? (don’t say your children, that’s too easy)
My children are not gifts… my children are little bundles of work wrapped in grubby hands and whining. Best gift? hmmm… Being in Scotland on my 18th birthday.
3. A: Any “Birthday Suit” moments you care to share with the rest of the class? B: Why is it unacceptable to wear your birthday suit to your birthday party? C: What suit do you prefer to wear on your birthday?
A: None that I can remember…I might have blocked them out.
B: It is perfectly acceptable, but you do need an overcoat.
C: It is more of a costume than a suit.
4. Do you share a birthday with anyone famous/infamous?
Prince William Arthur Philip Louis, Duke of Cambridge, Michael Gross AND Meredith Baxter (both Keaton parents, “What would we do baby, Without Us?”), and Jean-Paul Sarte.
5. Thirty eight? You’re a spry young thing, aren’t ya?
Spry is not a descriptor I would use.
6. Does your family have any birthday traditions?
Not especially. I think we might need to start some up.
7. What will you wish for when blowing out your candles this year?
A direction
8. What would have been the best birthday party entertainment for the 4-year-old you; and what would be the best birthday party entertainment for the 38-year-old you?
At 4? A bouncy place with a trampoline and slides would have been teh awesomest. At 38? I would love to have a nice dinner and then go to a professional soccer game to be followed up with some kind of donut-like confection.
9. There was a show on TV this weekend about a family spending $10,000 for a birthday party for their 4-year-old. What kind of party would you throw for yourself with that budget?
For 10K? I would have an out of debt birthday party!
10. What was the most baffling birthday present you ever received (just so we have a goal to shoot for)?
I dusty rose pink cassette case given to me by my grandma who wanted a grand-daughter instead of me.
11. Any resolutions for age 38?
I would like to become more active. With the feet getting better and seeing my dad dealing with crappy knees due to disuse… I need to get moving.
12. A: Birthday cake or pie? B:Does the “cake or pie” thing go out the window on birthdays? C: Favorite kind of birthday cake? D: What is your cake/ice cream combo choice? E: Birthday cake or birthday pie?
A: For a birthday? Cake
B: Yes, only cake
C: Yellow cake with with white frosting
D: Yellow cake with no ice cream near the cake to make the cake soggy… only uneducated boobs will put ice cream near a cake. Ice cream should be served in a bowl with some kind of warm gooey topping.
E: Cake… see A & B.
13. I had my 44th birthday last week. Fill in the blank: Why do Geminis ____?
Bifurcate…. Because they are gotta get their dual nature on. I am a cusper though. A little bit Gemini and a little bit Cancer… a dual natured hermit.
14. It is good form to congratulate the mother on the birthday of one of her children because it was more memorable for her? Discuss.
It depends on if the kid has turned out well.
15. What do you think of the revamped astrology dates?
I don’t understand the necessity of it, especially since Astrologers (I read this somewheres on the Internets, so it must be true) seem to be saying that it is not a retroactive. So the same astrological forces are supposedly influencing my life as the ones with me when I was born, but someone born today has different celestial influence? That makes no sense.
16. Are there any takes on the birthday song that you actually enjoy (eg “you look like a monkey and you smell like one too” “and many mooooore”)
Are you saying that I look like a monkey and I smell like one too… and that I am getting oooooooold?
17. Any memorable birth stories reported to you by your parents?
Nope, not many of my parent’s stories are all that memorable... dull dull people
18. Is your birthday your favorite birthday, or do you get more excited for someone else’s birthday?
I enjoy others’ birthdays more than my own, due to a birthday occurrence and the ambivalence associated with that event.
19. If it’s your party, can you really cry if you want to?
Listen, don’t bottle that shit up. You can cry anytime you feel like you need to. Let it out. I mean, you will be considered a freak if you do it on your birthday, but that is your deal, not mine.
20. Why don’t we get an automatic day off from work on our birthday?
I have no idea. Sounds like a banner idea though.
and one to grow on….
21. Do you prefer to cover yourself in a blanket and rebirth through the birth canal in the morning or in the evening?
I am not a morning person.
To recap:
Birthday in 2 days
I expect cards, notes, gifts, phone calls, donations, people lining up to do 20 Questions with me
Come on Internets, let’s get this going
Things are afoot with houseness
Hopefully details will exist next week
A good friend of mine was diagnosed with thyroid cancer
He wasn’t using his thyroid much anyway, so it all works out
He is planning on taking a ferret in with him to the radioactive stuff
Hoping to get the powers of a ferret
That being said, most likely the ferret will gain his powers
So there will be one goddamn sarcastic ferret who can school people in BW3 trivia in about 2 months
Look for it
Sarcastic trivia laden ferret
I am Adrift
Like an untethered boat on the sea
Seriously, I will take donations via PayPal for the birthday
I even have a handy dandy donate button waaaaaaaaaay down at the bottom left of the page
It’s my birthday… come on, gimme gimme gimme
Maj McArmypants, sending positive vibes your way
For a couple of reasons
38 years old or 19 and 19 years old
Have a great weekend everyone