20 Questions Tuesday: 194 - Ritual

"The first picture I could grab from the ‘Ritual’ search on the Googles" 

I was hoping to have another interview done for today, but it is running long due to hecticness on my part and, well, it will be up next week.  We have been in the process of assembling a wardrobe from IKEA.  We still need to get the hardware on the drawers and doors.  There is now a long list of things that need to get done to the house.  I guess it is time to get some of stuff taken care of so we can get the house back on the market.  this time we are going to sell… for realsies!

So this week, I have settled on the idea of “Ritual.”  Ah, “Ritual…” such a loaded word.

Thanks this week go to Lord Pithy, Chris Ring (of 20 Questions Tuesday fame), Capt. McArmypants, Dr B-Dawg, and some other guy.  On to the questions!

1.  When you perform a Black Sabbat, which comes first, the headless chicken or the live mouse?

Does the order change if it’s a Dark Charcoal Sabbat?
Let’s be clear, Dark Sabbat is waaaay better than Milk Sabbat, but with it being Easter-time, there are just way too many Milk Sabbats out there on the market. European Dark Sabbat is seriously the best, especially the Swiss Dark Sabbat.

2.  Did you ever go through the blood brother routine with a friend?

Nope, I didn’t.  You are referring to the ritual of draining the blood from a dark ancient and consuming it together to bind your souls together with the powers of the forgotten ones, right?

3.  As a parent, what ritual with the kids do you most look forward to?

I tend to like the bed-time rituals pretty well… the kids are not that keen on them, because it means they are going to bed.

4.  Is there ever a good reason for ritual scarring?

For yourself or for others?  The context matters.  I would be willing to brand some people as dumbasses, right on their dumbass foreheads.

5.  Why is it more fun to pronounce it as “rishual”?

I think the voiceless postalveolar fricative is just a fun thing to add into a word.  Like pronouncing the word schedule with an “sh” instead of a “sk.”

6.  What’s the craziest ritual you’ve seen in professional sports?

I do not think we are privy to the pre-game rituals that professional athletes go through, and that, I imagine, is where most of the really bizarre rituals take place.   

7.  What’s the quirkiest ritual your pet has?

Well, we are petless due to animal allergies.  But, when we had acts, we had 2 littermates that came from a farm.  Lenny was sickly and Senor don Gato was a robust kitten.  Anytime Lenny needed to sneeze, he would walk over to Senor don Gato and sneeze on his brother… it made him feel better.

8.  What is your oldest ritual?

Hmmm… Doodling prior to drawing something.

9.  Have you ever stopped a ritual because you thought “enough’s enough”?

Well, if you consider any of the Christian rituals that I used to to do… then the answer is “Yes.”

10.  When does a ritual become spiritual?

When the ritual has to do with existential issues.  Typically they have to do with communicating with a higher power or connecting into something more cosmic.

11.  I mean how do you wanna define ritual?  Do you see it as just habit or action consistently followed?  Ornate habit?  Habit where there is just the hint of superstition that this tiny thing has more meaning and influence over the world that it would logically appear? I mean if it does not have more meaning than the obvious than it is just a habit right?

I think a ritual is a set of actions that assist with generating some intangible result. For example, religious sacraments have an intangible result.  You cannot see the result, therefore it is a ritual. Going through a set of exercises to calm your mind is another ritual.  Again, it has intangible results.  Going through a set of motions that result in a turkey sandwich is not a ritual… unless the actions are also followed to quiet one’s mind or bring some level of relaxation.

12.Which childhood rituals do you still personally engage in for the sake of comfort?

Hmmm… That is an interesting question, because I am not really all that ritualistic. When my mind is racing, I do some controlled breathing exercises that I learned reading an OMNI magazine coming up on 25 years ago, so I guess that counts.

13.Which childhood rituals do you still personally engage in for the sake of habit?

Hmmm… again, this is a bit of a stumper, since I am not too ritualistic.  I have many habits from my childhood, but I cannot think of any of them being a ritual instead of a habit.

14.Any good luck rituals that you engage in?

Not really.

15. Do you have a doughnut eating ritual?

Bite, swallow like a duck, repeat until no more doughnuts.

16. What is your morning ritual?

I set my alarm for 5:40 AM, then for 6:00 AM, and then get up at 6:20 AM. Get out of bed, find some clothes (hopefully clean), go downstairs, get new podcasts on the iPhone, get my medicine, grab my Green Mistress (Mt. Dew), grab my bag, grab my keys, get in the car.  From get up to leaving is 20 to 25 minutes.

17. What is the difference between routine and ritual?

Ritual has an intangible quality to it.  One uses a ritual to calm, to excite, to prepare oneself, etc… One uses a routine to accomplish a task.

18. What is your favorite ritual?

The pizza and Mt Dew ritual of watching soccer games on the TV…. It is a calming ritual that I need to do more often.

19. You can’t spell ritual without “ultra” can you?

Well, you can’t spell it without the letters in “ultra,”but the spelling is completely different.  I mean, come on, the “r” is at the beginning of “ritual” but it is penultimate in “ultra.”  Let me throw this back at you then “ritual can be better broken down to “I, ultra” or “ultra I.”  How do you like them apples?

20. Any taboo rituals that you take part in?

Umm… no, or they would not be considered taboo.  duh

To recap:
TheMikeStand and I are at Round 53 of Draw Something
It is like we are in each other’s head
Get out of my head!
Mike, for the record, there was no bacon on that sandwich
Ham was taking the porcine place of honor
Mmmmm Ham
Little Man is digging the Angry Birds Space
Q just got done with a round of Orapred
Hopefully that means she will be in a better mood tonight
Wifey’s work is getting the better of her a little bit
But she is a Viking and will plunder her work
I am having a hard time shaking a “stuck” feeling
My dad just had the titanium knee removed for a sexier porcelain one
The docs think he is allergic to one of the metals in the titanium alloy
Just his luck
Comment me or email me if you want to be asked 20 Questions
Have a great weekend

20 Questions Tuesday: 193 - Chris Ring

I don’t remember exactly when (it has been a few years) Chris Ring started posting in the forums on my Internet home away from home, the Ten Ton Studios forum, but when he did, he immediately set alarm bells off for most everyone there.  Aside from his glowing personality and rapier wit, he has mad drawing skills, yo!.  Everything he does is insanely polished.  I have never really seen a “sketch” or “thumbnail” from him… only drawings… full fledged drawings, often in full color, and always professional.  He has a very clean and clear drawing style that allows for a strong sense of texture without over cluttering the drawings with any extra lines.  He has a strong sense of design and movement in his work so, it did not surprise me to find out he delt with art professionally.  I always learn from looking at his finished pieces, which just tells me that I would learn tons if I could watch his process from beginning to end… so get to video-ing yourself drawing so I can get better…

He and I have been chatting via the Internets for a good long while, and I would unequivicably consider him a strong Internet friend, and I he is one of the few people from the Interwebs that I would be willing to make an effort to meet in the real world.  Oddly, he seems to have a good head on his shoulders, but that could be an act.  Without further ado, I present 20 questions with Chris Ring:

I have always been interested in geography and maps, so it is should not be a surprise that my first question tends to always be the same.  If you have read my blog before, you know mine, so let’s just get into it, Question 1: What is your geographic story? Where have you lived in your life?

The phrase “You can take the boy out of Jersey but ya can’t take Jersey out of the boy” tends to follow me around. Born and bred in Monmouth County NJ (Springsteen Country). Crossed the river to go school at SJU in Philly and have been in PA ever since, Williamsport area to be exact, but I’ve still managed to keep all those endearing qualities that Jerseyians are famous for.

I am surprised, I would have thought you had lived more places.

Question 2: Do you travel much, and if so, how much and how far?

Nope, don’t move a lot but travel, yep, travel quite a bit. Not really exotic place travel but more get in the car and go traveling. I average over 25,000 miles on my car every year and I don’t really drive for my job so that’s a lot of extra curricular driving divided over: visiting, comic shows, car shows, sports and misc. adventuring. The farthest away I’ve ever been is back to the motherland, the town of Ring in the south of Ireland. Unfortunately it’s one of the few towns where they still speak Irish … and I don’t, but Guinness is Guinness in any language. Love Ireland and would go back in a heartbeat.

Question 3: So are you a straight up stout man or do you go with a black and tan configuration…  Me?  I like some Harp or some Bass underneath my Guinness…

For convenience sake I usually drink it straight up but if you know a place that will cozy a nice half pint of Guinness on top of a half pint of Bass, I say LET’S GO! For Christmas I received a Sam Adams variety case which consisted of Lagers, Porters, Ales, Stouts and a couple combos like Black & Tan. It was awesome. One thing I WILL NOT drink is Coors Light. I would not could not in a car. I would not, could not in a bar. I would not could not with my mates. I would not, could not on a date. I will not drink it so let me be, that swill tastes too much like pee!*
(*for the record I have never actually tasted pee)

I think we are lucky that we came of age in the micro-brew revolution.  Sometimes I feel bad for people 20 years older than me who only had the opportunity to have mass produced crap to swill.

Onto some comic-booky kinds of questions…  I have mentioneed many times that it was John Byrne working on Captain America in the late 70’s early 80’s that hooked me on comic books. Question 4: What was “THE’ moment/issue that hooked you on comics?

That’s an easy one. As a kid, they used to give out a free comic when you bought a pair of Buster Brown shoes. My first comic was a Daredevil comic if I remember correctly and he’s still my favorite character. I can’t say I was hooked then though, because I only read a comic every time I got a new pair of shoes and then later just sporadically. I was HOOKED years later when I  stumbled into a deli/newstand for lunch, and while I was waiting for a sandwich I saw the second issue of “Kraven’s Last Hunt” which was running through all the Spidey titles at the time. JM Dematteis, Mike Zeck and Bob Mcleod worked on all the issues and it was stellar. That trio infused so many emotions into those pages, FEAR being a constant theme. I quickly found the first issue and waited anxiously for the rest. Probably my best comic reading experience ever and the art… well let’s just say it changed me from a casual doodler to aspiring artist… to eventually a professional illustrator. Though my living comes from commercial illustration (comics are more of a casual freelance thing) it all started with seeing that Zeck and Mcleod art, that’s when I started to get serious about my own art and reading comics regularly.

It is really amazing when you talk to people who enjoy drawing and are either drawing comics, aspiring to draw comics, or just enjoy drawing comic book characters, they usaully know the exact issue that hooked them.  For you it was Kraven’s Last Hunt, and for me it was the Baron Blood story-line for Cap.

Question 5: When did you realize that you not only enjoyed drawing, but that you were really good at it?

Hmmm, that’s trickier. I realized in kindergarten that I was better at drawing than most of my classmates so I was “that” kid early on in school. “Get Chris to draw it, he’s a good drawer”. In 7th and 8th grade I actually did a little story featuring “Eggberts”. Eggberts had human bodies with Pac-man type heads and sharp teeth. You could make them into any historical character. I think the first character I did was Marco Polo Eggbert. Why? No idea, probably studying him at the time. Anyway I started incorporating classmates into the world of Eggberts for a nominal fee of 50 cents a drawing. I made about $5 before “the man” shut me down … got caught drawing during music class … I failed music class. Still never gave any thought to being an artist when I grew up. I was into sports heavily and honestly thought only people who were like Rembrandt, Davinci and Picasso from birth were good enough to be professional artists. It wasn’t until I sold my first comic strip in college that the light bulb went off and I thought, hey, maybe I can do this. That’s when I started to devote serious time to it and even then I didn’t consider myself really good at it, because the artists I who inspired me were a gazillion times better. So talent was recognized early on but if you don’t do anything with, which I didn’t, you have a boatload of catching up to do, which I did.  

Interesting… I am even more inpressed by your abilities than I was before.  To have really picked it up and start taking it so seriously, so late… damn, man.  I think I might dislike you some because of your innate ability.  Stupid innate ability. So do you have any of the Eggberts left? Care to share if you do?

So, I love the answers to this question, and I cannot wait to see yours… Question 6: Cake or pie?

Haha, I WISH I had an Eggbert left to show my kids. Nope, most went to classmates and the rest hung in the corner of Mrs. Donnelly’s classroom coat closet, surely taken down and discarded at the end of the year by the custodian. Aaaah, Mrs. Donnelly, we all had mad crushes on Mrs. Donnelly … but I digress. CAKE OR PIE???! No contest. PIE!!!. Pie beats everything … except Batman, nothing beats Batman. If you’re playing Rock, Paper, Scissors always throw down Pie, Pie beats everything. Pie is so versatile it literally can be every course of a meal. You can start with a nice quiche for an appetizer. Chicken Pot Pie for an entree. A nice fruit pie (blueberry is my favorite) to cleanse your pallette. Then for dessert, finish with a nice Key Lime Pie or Boston Creme Pie. Really, your choices are only limited by your imagination. I’m not dissing cake but Pie rules.

That is the thing about pie… it is very versitile, much like pizza (which is often referred to as pie anyway).  Cake is merely for dessert or snack.  The interesting thing is that people who choose cake, love cake with a rabidity can only be described as meth head-ish…

Question 7: What is it about cake eaters that makes them so virulent?

Excuse me while I look up virulent, see kids, you actually learn things on “20 Questions Tuesday”. I have no hard facts to back this up (that’s Reilly’s thing) but I’d say there is an air of pretentiousness and competetiveness that goes along with cake decorating. Sure you have your annual pie baking/pie eating contests at your local county fair, but it all seems more neighborly and Americana. With cake, it’s televised battles, Cake Bosses, Cupcake WARS, and Kim Kardashian spending more time picking out her wedding cake than actually being married. In a particular pie, every piece is deliciously the same but in a cake one piece may have the coveted ROSE or may be a corner piece with more icing, so even in cake eating there is a competition to get the best piece. Pie is like the Knights of the Round Table, no place is more coveted than the rest. Cake? … not so much. It’s a cake eat cake world out there and everyone wants the Rose… And don’t even get me started on tiered cakes as a metaphor for social hieracrchy.

I so want to read your metaphor about social hierarchy and tiered cakes… at the moment there is not much else I would like to read… I have to say, your assessment of why is pretty incredibly well thought out.  I’m digging it… a bunch.

Speaking of social hierarchy… Question 8: How do you think the democratization of entertainment on the Internet (the ability for regular Joes without the aid of a massive distribution system to makie their creations available) will end up affecting the social entertainment hierarchy?  How do you think this whole “new media” will change the “old media?”

Wow, that’s a Reilly question but I’ll take a stab and I’ll be candid (in other words, probably wrong). The cream rises to the top and with “new media” it can get out there almost instantaneously (once completed of course, there’s that hurdle). So yeah, I’m all for the little guy taking a bite out of the media pie (see that? see what I did there? it ALL comes back to pie). In the 90’s I worked on a creator owned limited series called CarbonKnight and I used every means at my disposal to get the book out there. I was a self promotion whore doing newspaper, magazine and even local TV interviews to talk about the series and comics in general and it was all FREE! that’s the whore part. I convinced people in the media that it was something worth talking about and I was able to convince them because I believed it was. In the end I sold over 5000 books from the series and while I had a blast and considered it a success, it certainly wasn’t enough to make a living off of and wasn’t enough for Diamond to keep distributing at the time, so when the story arch ended I moved on. My point is if you have something good you believe in use every means possible to promote it but in the end to be a continuing success it still needs to eventually be embraced by “traditional media”. Hits on the internet may be fun to rack up but if they don’t translate to cash, to me, they are more of a novelty than a viable product. The one “new media” tool I’m still on the fence about is comic kickstarter projects. Investing is one thing but “kickstarting” has the air of internet panhandling. I funded my own projects through hard work and long hours and took pride in doing so. If someone handed me a few g’s to start a comic and it panned, I’d feel responsible for it. In an investment if it pays off, the investor gets a piece of the action but kickstarting is just a hand out, right? A movie kickstarter project I can grasp a little more but a comic?? Really?? Roll your sleeves up Nancy. Like I said, I’m probably wrong and I have friends who are involved in kickstarter comics but it leaves me scratching my head a bit. Anywho back to the original question, RIGHT NOW I think “new media” can be a tool to present new work and ideas but to be a success they still have to be embraced by “old

media”… but that could change tomorrow.

I have found that with most kickstarter campaigns, of which I have currently pledged funds for 7 campaigns, all 7 of which met their goals…. I have said it before and I am saying it again, kickstarter campaigns should start paying me to fund their projects because I am less a project backer and more a success prophet… anyway… with the kickstarters I have been associated with, the funding is pretty much guaranteed sales.  I am not completely bank-rolling a job, but pre-purchasing a product.  For one I bought a pack of cards, for another I get a book, for another a t-shirt for rather reasonable prices.  I don’t see that as necessarily hand outs.

Question 9: Why do you feel that Reilly’s opinion is more valid than yours in this instance?  Do you feel inferior to Reilly?  Why or why not?

See, I told you I was probably wrong. In all your instances your support paid off and was rewarded, obviously the system works. Maybe I’m just jealous I did things the hard way, you know like walking to school uphill, both ways in a snow storm type thing. Perhaps my next project will be a kickstarter but I’ll be sure to run it by you first since you obviously can spot a winner.

As for Reilly’s opinion on the matter, I totally yield to it. He has done more research on the subject and is m

ore in tune with the latest technology in terms of “new media”. I don’t even have an iPhone and an app. is what I make to see the dentist. Do I feel inferior to Reilly? Reilly is a young, smart, talented, handsome lad. I was all those things once and I’m fighting the good

fight to hold onto a couple of those attributes. When Reilly talks sometimes I think “there’s the next  CEO of Marvel”, other times I think, “ah, he’s just a kid”. I think any aspiring comic artist can learn from Reilly, the kid works hard and sometimes I think aspiring artists don’t realize how much work is involved and how much one gives up to be a comic artist. I love comics and will always draw them but my love for other things has and will probably always keep me in the commercial art field where my talents and experience are better suited. So inferior? Hell NO! I’ve been truely blessed in my family, pursuits and successes… but Reilly is a better comic artist than me and he’s still in his twenties, for that he deserves a punch in the nuts.   

I am sure that there are many things for which Reilly deserves a punch in the nuts… in fact , I bet there is a list out there somewhere in the Interwebs that defines in some semblance of an order his nut-punching offenses.  I think Reilly is much more knowledgeable in the distribution model shifts because he has dogs in that fight, in fact, almost all of his dogs are in that fight.  You and I have careers outside of convincing people top buy sequential art.

Infact… Question 10:  Tell me about your day job… not really a questions as much as a request, is it?

Currently I’m the Art Director for JanWay Company. We mainly provide promotional and fundraising items for libraries across the country but we also have a business division that provides advertising and promotional items for businesses. So that leaves me and my team in the art dept. the task of creating all the art and logos needed for both divisions. This entails: illustration, photography, design and layout using traditional media and the entire Adobe Creative Suite. One of the reasons I usually use traditional media at the home studio is because I’m on the computer a lot for the day job. The best part of my job is that being in charge I get to keep the more interesting projects and get to dole out the more meat and potatoes stuff. Like many artists the most frustrating part of my job is focusing on the task at hand when you just want to draw Hellboy … buuut while Hellboy pays Mike Mignola’s mortgage, it doesn’t pay mine. It’s a good job and leaves me the freedom to do freelance work and spend time with my family, that’s really important. I’ve attached a couple samples to give you an idea of what I get to do in terms of illustration, though much of my job is more managerial (overseeing projects, meetings, dotting i’s, crossing t’s etc…).

Ah, I wasn’t sure what the focus of your company was, but promotional materials for libraries makes complete sense.  I have always dug when you showed off your dayjob stuff online.  Always so crisp and clean.  Great stuff, I love all the pieces you have there.

Speaking of wanting to only draw Hellboy, Question 11: Is there a particular comic book property that you would sacrifice small animals on an alter to draw?

Daredevil. I just feel there is an endless well there to be tapped. I mean if Law & Order can be on forever and produce a number of spin offs that have had great runs, producing great DD stories continuously should be doable. I have been collecting DD on and off for a long time and there have been some great runs by some talented teams. Miller/Romita and Smith/Quesada were two of my favorites, but I’ve also dropped the title flat when I thought the story or art weren’t up to my standards. I definitely hold that book to a higher standard than I do others. It’s a book that should have the high flying adventure a superhero book promises but can also be quite intelligent/intriguing by tapping into the court room side. Can you tell I want to write it too? LOL.

I followed JR JR from X-Men to Daredevil in the 80’s.  His run on that was pretty amazing.  I have always felt that he has been sort of an afterthought in the Marvel universe.  I would love to see you write and draw a treatment of DD.  That would be teh awesomest.

So, I know from previous interactions that you have kids.  I, however, didn’t care enough to remember relative ages of your offspring or if there is more than one of them.  It is a selfish character flaw of mine.  I have 2 relatively young kids right now (8.667 and 3.5), and I was wondering… Question 12: Do/did your kid/s ever ask you to draw comic book characters for him/her/them or for his/her/their friends?

Not really. I used to get more of that from my family growing up, you know, special occasion cards/gifts and such. All three of my kids have sketchbooks that me, Ten Ton members and some other heavy hitters have drawn in so they have that. Occasionally they’ll ask that I don’t sell something. For instance my son called dibs on my “Calvenom & Hobbes” sketch challenge and my daughter called dibs on my “Hellboy’s Summer Vacation” sketch challenge, that makes me happy. I think they pretty much know that they can take whatever Dad draws as long as it’s not a commission, so they don’t request much. They also know I always have a couple freelance things that I’m already late on and Dad’s studio time is money. More drawing time is less time spent with them doing other things, so there’s that too.

I always love your take on existing iconic properties, you have a great ability to mimic the style of others.  Seriously, your ability to mimic Watterson on the Venom and Hobbes is delightful.  Occasionally I get a request for Batman or Spiderman, but typically I get requests for Clone Troopers from The Clone Wars.  Overall, I need to make the helmets bigger.  

So Question 13: What would you do-oo-oo for a Klondike bar?

C’mon! you can’t make a comment about needing bigger helmets and not expect me to knock that one out of the park. Is this a family show? I’ll show some restraint. Mimicing style can be frowned upon in the comic world if it’s taken past the point of an homage. In the commercial field it’s essential and not given much thought. If a client says they want something to have the feel of a Leroy Neiman painting or a Norman Rockwell painting well that’s what you deliver because they’re paying you and they want what they want. If you don’t deliver, they’ll find someone who will so you learn to be a bit of a chameleon. One time someone had looked over my deviantart gallery and asked “Do you have a style?” because I do tend to work in more than one style, from very realistic to cartooney and some stops in between. Many have used the word “retro” when it comes to my comic style which I still don’t see but enough people have said it so I’ve been working on modernizing it so as not to have my work look dated. I will always try to grow as an artist, like a dolphin you have to keep swimming or you die (I know that saying is for sharks but I don’t like sharks).

What would I do in a Klondike bar? Probably order a Molson, shoot some pool, talk some hockey and after knocking more than a few back join in a rousing version of “O’ Canada”.

Many people do not know that most graphic design is not art.  Art is personal expression, design is a job trying to meet client expectations… The designer can try to give some artistic direction, but it is always about managing and meeting client expectations.  I am always amazed by how many designers fight supervisors and clients to maintain their “artistic integrity” and lose jobs and contracts because of this.

The best answer I ever heard for the Klondike things was when I asked this guy and looked at his best friend and said, “I would eat my own best friend’s fucking heart in a soup.” We all laughed and laughed and laughed and nervously changed subjects.

So Question 14: You do artsy stuff all day and you draw during your off time, do you do anything else to pass the time?

LOL! we all need a friend with whom we have that type of rapport. I do EVERYTHING else to pass the time, too much in fact, I’d be a better/more prolific artist if I didn’t. I’m a sports nut so I rarely, at risk of getting fired, miss any of my kids sporting events. That fleeting time period is so short I refuse to negotiate about it. I’ve actually come out of retirement as a runner because all three kids are running and two are on the High School Track team so maybe we’ll see what Dad can do on the roads this Summer … my mutant healing factor ain’t what it used to be.

Then there’s the car thing. Long story short my wife Marcie is the president of the SVTOA and freelances as a designer/writer for Ford, she’s worked on numerous car books and posters and does various shows across the country. We are currently restoring a 1964.5 Mustang and she is writing a book about it. At any given time, we have a about a half dozen Mustangs or Ford Prototypes in our basement. I’m her #1 indentured servant and travel quite a bit with her on her car excursions. We’ve met so many great people and even ended up on movie set of “Arthur” when they were filming with the Batmobile… Oh, and occasionally I’m a guest at a comicbook show or two. Our life is an adventure, but really shouldn’t it be? Thoreau said “Most men live lives of quiet desperation” …that’s a shame. Say what you want about comic geeks

but we don’t do that.

THAT car stuff sounds incredible.  I am glad that I started drawing again because I was finding myself with just some empty time that really was just being wasted on computer games and bad TV.  It is always good to have other things to do… now if I could just find an exercise that I enjoy…

Fill in the blank: Question 15: “I am mostly _______________.” and… go!

I’m glad you started drawing again too. Yep, the car stuff is pretty cool, Marcie is quite talented. She was actually interviewed by Jay Leno for his web car show. I didn’t get to go out to CA with her to meet him (I was committed for the Baltimore Comicon) but when Jay called the house I kept the message on my cell phone for giggles.

Hmmm, I am mostly A DAYDREAMER, always have been. It’s probably been the most consistent attribute about me since I was a kid. Being an artist, and at times writer, is just an extension of that. Like a lot of kids, Calvin & Hobbes reflected my childhood and I’ve spent my life trying to make sure I hold dearly to some of that magic while life as an adult tries to wear it away. Fortunately I’ve picked up some allies along the way to help me fight the good fight: My Family, my friends, my Ten Ton brothers (and a few sisters), and all those wonderful people who’ve plunked down some hard cash or more importantly given a kind word to say “Hey, keep daydreaming, we dig it.”

oohh, a Daydreamer.  That is a great response… I really love it.  I have found that having kids can really squash the whole holding “dearly to some of that magic.”  I have found that kids tend to force parents (at least good parents) into some stark relevations of reality.  Stupid reality getting in the way.

So, a question completely out of left feild… Question 16: Whatis your favorite Summer Olympic event and your favorite Winter Olympic event and why?

You’d THINK that having young children around would keep you young but I think that only works if you’re a grandparent. As a parent those really are the years that age you quite a bit because, yes, there are some stark revelations of reality to deal with … and deal with them you must. As my kids got older though (12, 14, 16 now respectively) you are a bit more “freed” up. You don’t change diapers anymore, THEY TRAVEL BETTER, you don’t have to take them to the “potty”, they can get themselves a snack, they can dress themselves etc… Plus they can be an active participant in adventures, comicons, sports etc…

Winter Olympics is easy, Hockey, I was just a kid but I remember the “Miracle” in 1980, we were all glued to the TV, so yeah, US Hockey would be my fav. Summer Olympics is soooo much tougher. I ran Track in H.S., College and even an Olympic development meet so of course my favorite would be in the Track & Field arena. I never qualified for the trials but had lots of friends who did in the mile, steeplechase, 5000 & 10,000 so any time an American has a shot in those events it’s a huge deal but really ALL the Track & Field events are must see for me. If I could take a week off and watch all the Track & Field Olympic events that would be fine by me. Now that my kids are running track in High School, we’re all track junkies.  

I remember when our oldest turned 4 and we did not have the youngest yet…. so much freedom… we are nearing that again as the youngest approaches 4 herself. I was a mere 5.5 yrs old when the miracle on ice happened.  I remember watching my dad watch the game and him going absolutely nuts more than I remember watching the game.

My wife has just seriously gotten into the whole running scene.  last year she started up and ran a half in October and a full in February… she is a badass.  I have shitty feet, although I am getting some physical therapy to help with the shitty feet.  I need to start running, just so I can keep up with her.  The PT thinks that everything should work itself out with exercises and stretching.  I am hoping that is the truth, because I really do want to be able to run again.  I am tired of not being able to keep up with my wife.

This is the last question prior to the three capping questions I always ask, so I will try to make this one a good one.  Question 17: What is the absolute earliest memory you have?

Read about your wife’s running in some of your other posts, she is totally badass, you tell her I said so. Never got into the whole marathon thing, farthest I ever ran on a training run was 17 miles. When I was at my best I could run a 4:13 mile and 24:15 for a 5 miler. My theory is if I could win at those distances why go farther? hell, if I had Usain Bolt speed I’d have run the 100m… . sadly I did not.

Earliest memory? I remember looking through the bars of my crib thinking “naps are stupid, I don’t need a nap”. A few years later when I got to kindergarten and they had nap time I thought “naps are stupid, I don’t need a nap”. Now I wish I could have all those nap times back. I didn’t use them, I should have a naptime IRA sitting somewhere just waiting for me to cash it in.

Naps are the absolute best…  I wish I could have one daily… I think it would eventually increase my productivity.  Okay, a 4:13 mile is insanely fast, and a sub-5 pace for a 5 miler… damn!  that is some crazy speed for that distance.  I imagine if you wanted to run a marathon, you would be able to transfer your running skill pretty easily… but I understand that you don’t want to do that.

So we are at the point where the tables are turned…
Question 18: Do you have any questions for me (please don’t ask what I do)?

I know what you do, you make enter/exit strategy maps for seal team six. The correlation of applied mathematics, cartography and too many hours playing

D&D has provided better security for our great nation … and for that, we salute you. Amongst the living, Who is your dream interview for 20 Questions?

I live to serve.  My unsung Seal Team Six logistical support shall remain unsung…

Huh, That is truly an interesting question.  I am not sure that I have a number 1 That I want to ask 20 questions.  I will answer in 2 parts.  The first part is the person that I want who I could never get in a million years.  I think someone crazy cool and un-touchable like George Clooney, Angelina Jolie, Barak Obama.  Any of those would be great and surprising.  I would love to hear whether Angelina or Brad likes cake or pie.  The second part would be the person, who I may actually have an outside chance to get answering my 20 Crappy Questions.  I think in that group would be some of the podcast celebs I love listening to.  Chris Hardwick at Nerdist, Marc Maron from WTF, or (especially or) Jimmy Pardo from Never Not Funny. (yeah, seriously, Jimmy Pardo is the number 1 since I already got Behrendt).

So, Question 19: Is there anything that you are taking out of this that you did not bring in with you?

Ah, I see, so “Cake or Pie?” will become your signature trademark question when you become as famous as James Lipton. I like it. Well, from your intro I take humble gratitude for your kind words describing my scribblin’. From your questions I take the re-affirmation that I’m pretty full of myself (because I already kinda knew that), who else would answer questions like these thinking that somebody out there amongst the interwebs would find my answers halfway interesting. I also take that I really need to do

the Mid-Ohio Con and knock back a few with my Ten Ton brethren out there, maybe someday. Lastly, as a regular reader, I take away a greater appreciation for 20 Questions Tuesday, thanks for making our lives a little more interesting … or at least sounding that way.

Well, thank you very much.  I honestly do not ask Question 19 with the intention of getting any praise, but I will take it, cause that’s how I roll. I am a needy needy black hole of need.  That being said, as far as if this is interesting to anyone else on the Internets, it is interesting to me, and for my blog, that is all that really matters.

So, the last and final question… Question 20: How can people keep track of you, iffens they want, and What’s next?

I’ve heard that about you. People can keep track of my work at 93cobra.deviantart.com, or through catskill comics at www.catskillcomics.com, or through Ten Ton Studios and Facebook. Right now I really have to finish up the children’s book I’m doing the illustrations for. I’m always taking commissions through Catskill Comics. Next month Con season starts and I will b

e at the Pittsburgh Comicon April 20-22. Then for FREE Comic Book Day - May 5th I will be at Comics & Paperbacks Plus in Palmyra, PA. I have a couple stories in the works but talk is cheap until projects are actually done. Then there’s the day job … there’s that. Just hired somebody to help me out so hopefully my production in other areas will go up. Oh, and Track season is under way so if I’m not working, you’ll find me alongside some Track in Central PA cheering on my kids. Thanks again Scott!

The pleasure was all mine, Ringer!  Everyone please feel free to wish Chris a happy birthday! His birthday was on this past Sunday.  So Happy birthday, Chris, you old old man.  

To recap:
My feet are sooo, sooo tired
But they are feeling better every PT session
Well, they do better every session
Good lord, my feet need to get back their strength
I think it may be time to ditch the orthotic inserts
I think they may be hurting more than helping at the moment
Which, of course, means I need to see some quality time on Zappos.com
Who knew my legs would be so tired as well
Stupid tired feet and legs
I have a few other good interviews going on right now as well
Another, of which has the name of Christopher
So, if that one gets done by this upcoming Tuesday… it will be 3 Chris’ in a row
I have some other folk that I am interested in doing some 20 questions with
Hopefully some of the people I have gotten in contact with will say “Okay, fine, will it shut you up.”
Have a great weekend everyone  

20 Questions Tuesday: 192 - Chris Corrigan

A few years ago (a little over 3 to be exact) my wife had the amazing opportunity to work with 5 other incredible individuals and help re-shape an existing conference into something deeper and more meaningful.  At the time it was pretty close to assembling the Avengers with my wife playing the part of the rookie hero. One of the tried and true members of this super hero troupe was Chris Corrigan.  Chris is, in an enigmatic phrase, a presence. He holds space and extends himself to create appropriate containers for group wisdom.  I wish I could explain more concretely what it is he exactly does, but it is a very nebulous line of work that he and my wife find themselves within.  Oh, you want more than that?  Chris uses dialogic practices and technologies to harvest group wisdom about client driven issues. If you want me to go all corporate double speak, I could leverage his action items some.

Anyway… I have had a great time getting to know my wife’s co-workers and Chris is waaaay up there with the most fun and the best.  So, without further ado… onto the questions!

I am going to get this one over really fast because I think it will be a launching point for other questions. I was born in Oklahoma, grew up in Alabama, went to college in Ohio and decided to settle down in Ohio as well.  Question 1: What is your geographic story?

Wanderer.  Born in the city of Toronto where I spent my first 10 years.  We then moved to England for three years and lived in three different towns - Cheshunt, Hertford and Widford, all in Hertfordshire, just north of London.  In Spurs country.

We moved back to Canada in 1981 and I lived in Toronto for five more years until I pulled up stakes and moved to Peterborough, Ontario, where I lived for five glorious years, studying Native Studies, writing music reviews for the local paper, hosting radio shows and playing lots and lots of guitar.  

Also met my wife there, Caitlin, who was born in South Africa but raised in Vancouver.  Together we moved to Ottawa for three years and when she got tired of the cold we up and left for the west coast of Canada.  Arrived in Vancouver in 1994, had a couple of babies and then up and moved to Bowen Island in 2001 where we no live and where I hope to spend the better part of the rest of my life.  Bowen is only a few miles from Vancouver, but we have a two mile wide moat around the island, traversed by a ferry, which means that no one knows anything about us.  And we all like it that way.  

My second home is the Vancouver airport. I travel extensively doing all the ineffable things you have valiantly tried to describe in your introduction.

Clearly, within all of that, you have definitely called Bowen Island home.

Question 2: Since you are an EPL Tottenham Hotspurs fan, what the hell is going on with Redknapp?

You mean the offshore bank account and the gift from his former Chairman?  It seems like more of a misunderstanding and a naive move on his part rather than anything malicious.  But others would accuse me of being partisan - no shame in that.

But I think the sentiment of most Spurs fans was best captured in the terrace chants from the Watford FA Cup draw the other week: “He pays what he wants, he pays what he wants, Harry Redknapp, he pays what he wants!”

At any rate, we love Harry at the moment.  He has a lot of credit with the Spurs faithful and we look well set to make the Champions League again, so hopefully he doesn’t go to jail or get picked to succeed Capello. What a choice.

Honestly, I am just happy that some teams have broken up the perennial top 4.  I may not love Man City, but it is nice to see a different team vying for the Prem title.  I thought the Redknapp case died last year, and I was honestly surprised to see it rear its ugly head again this year.

Question 3: Which of the places that you lived in the past would you most like to go for an extended long-term stay (I understand that no one is capable of making you move away from Bowen Island) and why?

I also love that the top 4 are getting broken up, but I still resent Chelsea and Man City for buying their way in.  At least Liverpool, ManU, Spurs and Arsenal have academies to speak of, and home grown players in their sides.

As for places I would take an extended stay - I love eastern Ontario.  Still feel very at home when I’m in Ottawa and Peterborough, and could easily go back there.  But having just returned from a couple of weeks in England and Ireland I have to say that I think I could definitely feel at home in the Hertfordshire countryside as well.  I went walking with my dad on some old paths that we walked on 30 years ago and it felt like home to me.  That was a surprise to me, how familiar and comfortable it still felt.  Thirty years is a long time to still have that memory in my bones.

The more the perennial top 4 gets broken up, the better.  Even though Chelski and Al ManC did buy their way into the top 4, diversifying up there and in the European tourneys can only be a good thing in the long run.  The money clubs will not last as serious contenders because they are always looking for quick results.  How many managers has Chelsey had recently?  How have they been doing compared to their rosters as of late.  When you sink that much money into a team, 2nd is an unacceptable result.  Mancini will not be at City next year if they do not win the Prem, and they purchase headcases like Tevez, Balotelli, and phenomenal over purchases like Torres.  That is not a long term successful solution.

I know a bunch about the Birmingham, AL area, but it is not a comfortable place.  I honestly do not think of any place other than the Columbus area that is home-like to me.  

Question 4: So… Cake or Pie?

Pie.  Especially cherry pie.  Unless you mean cheesecake and then it’s cherry cheesecake.  Pie rules because it’s all about the crust and a good crust is hard to make, and so I appreciate the best ones.  Artistry in cake is more like sculpting and I have seen many a beautiful cake in my time that has tasted like poo.  You can’t fake pie.

Also pie can be sweet or savoury and I love me a savoury pie.  Veggie pot pie, tourtiere, spanikopita, and then sweet pies like cherry, peach or whatever has just fallen off the bush or tree in the heat of summer.  My birthday is in June, so my family always bake me a salmonberry pie, and that is like eating rosewater lotus manna straight from heaven.

It is always fun to see people’s answer on the cake or pie question, because people are typically very passionate about their answers without realizing that they have that amount of passion for something so banal.  In fact, your Treatise on Pie makes me realize that the whole “savory” aspect could be added into this question. which reminds me….
I have heard tale of a magical savory cheesecake.  It is a mythical feast born on the backs of unicorns and basilisks.  They say that the treasure at the end of the rainbow is not a pot of gold, but a savory cheesecake guarded by leprechauns and fey warriors….

I know from my unfortunately limited time with you that you have an impromptu hobby of rock balancing.  Question 5: How exactly did that hobby come about?

Well, back in the mid nineties when I first moved to Vancouver there was a guy who balanced big rocks on the seawall near Granville Island Market in Vancouver. It was crazy to see what he was doing, because he balanced huge 50 pound rocks on fine points and edges using no adhesives or anything.  

He started a bit of a trend actually and soon people were doing similar work along various stretches of the seawall.  One of my favourite evenings was a summer night when we walked past dozens of rocks that had been set up at low tide with each one holding a candle.  The candles were lit, the sun went down and the tide came in making it look like these flaming rocks were balanced on end on the surface of the ocean.  Amazing.

I started doing this little hobby by, well, just doing it - which is how I get into all sorts of trouble.  It became a little obsessive, and I have since created a collection of photos of rocks balanced at impossible angles from places I have been too all over the world.  You can see them here:

Anyway it’s a fun pastime, very meditative, a creates ephemeral and delightful art for passer’s by.  And sometimes it can do more.  Once I was balancing rocks on the seawall in Victoria and a woman sat down next to me and asked me to teach her how.  I showed her and she started balancing rocks with me.  After a while she asked me if i thought this kind of thing could save a person from committing suicide.  I stopped and we chatted for a while.  I said I thought that it probably could, because every day the rocks fall over and every day you can come back to put them up again and make a little beauty.  We kept going for a while and then I took my leave and went to my hotel for the night, a little worried for my new friend.  The next morning as I was taxiing on the seaplane past the place where we had been balancing, I saw her there putting up rocks that had fallen over in the night.  

So it’s interesting the things that can happen when you mess around with an impromptu hobby.

That is pretty much one of the best stories I have seen in a while, and truthfully, rock balancing is a bit addictive.  Little Man was trying his hand at it the last time we were in Nova Scotia.  He was pretty good too.  It seems anytime we find medium sized rocks, there ends up being a few balanced together.

Question 6: Since for both of us, childhood seems like a long time ago, is there any activity that you took part in your childhood that you wish you were able to (or made the time to) do in your adult life?  For me, it was the occasional wonderful activity of rock climbing.  I had a few sets of friends that had boatloads of equipment for rock climbing, and I was able to tag along occasionally and be a rock lizard for a day.  I kind of miss that.

Seriously?  Rock climbing eh?  I don’t know WHAT is keeping you from moving to British Columbia!

I really miss winter things, especially living here on the west coast.  Especially I miss skating and playing hockey outside.  On cold winter days growing up in North Toronto we used to play hockey up at Eglinton Park where there was a public outdoor skating and hockey rink.  Shinny games would go on for hours, from the time school ended to 10 o clock at night when they turned the lights off.  I can’t describe to you the incredible sensation I get when, back in Ontario, I hear the sound of a puck being shot against the boards on a cold and still deep winter night.  It is enough to nearly bring me to tears thinking about it.  I think I miss that the most living here on the temperate west coast.  And I long for those nights almost more than anything from my childhood.  

Funny because I actually misread your question and wrote these paragraphs about things I have CONTINUED to do since childhood.  So maybe you’ll be interested in that too.

As I think about it I guess I have to say music has been a constant, which I started late in my childhood (if 11 can be considered late).  My dad had a guitar and used to sing a lot in my childhood, all kinds of popular white folksongs from the 1950s like Pete Seeger stuff and The Kingston Trio.  I found all that music kind of hokey in my preteen years and my attention turned to Queen for whom I developed a serious fanboy complex. I started singing along with Queen records, putting on little rock concerts in my head.  In between listening and singing with Queen, I was learning a little guitar, and learning how to put my voice and guitar together.

A little while ago someone asked me if I had a spiritual practice.  While I have certainly gone through phases of “spiritual practice” I had to admit that the thing I do everyday that brings me a little closer to the source of life in the world is to make music.  I play guitar, sing, play Irish flute and tine whistle, and I am pretty competent on various percussion instruments and didgeridoo as well.  And that means that every single day, if only for a few minutes I make music, and I can’t honestly think of a day that has passed when I haven’t done that.

And also I read, which I started doing before I was in kindergarten, again thanks to my dad teaching me.  As a kid I was a voracious reader, even reading the phone book if there was nothing else to look at.  These days I read like a crow - dipping into to whatever seems shiny.  I don’t seem to have the attention I once had for sitting down with a book and reading all the way through, but I read all the time anyway - blog posts, essays, poems, articles, short stories, non-fiction, sacred texts…whatever grabs my fancy.   One of the things I love about having an iPhone is that I can read almost anything anywhere, so that is something else I do every day that I have done since childhood.  

What have you kept doing?

I started “seriously” drawing around the age of 5, and I have recently (within the past 5 years) re-picked up the pencil, pens, and markers.  That is something that I am trying to do for at least 5 minutes daily… I would love to be able to consistently carve out an hour or 2 a day to devote to drawing, but the wee beasties need food and for me to go to my job and keep the roof over their head.

Question 7:  you already answered what I intended to make my Question 7.  It was going to be “What activities from your childhood have you kept?” So, now my Question 7 has hit a hard right turn… Question 7: When and how often do you read my mind? and how did you come to the realization that you could read my mind?

I don’t know Scott.  I think it must have something to do with feeling like I knew you long before i met you.  You see, your wife talks ALOT about you, they kind of person you are and her real admiration for you.  When i finally me you I think I had a sense of a little of who you were already.  And then as our friendship has slowly grown over a long distance it turns out that we have common interests and also that we need each other to fill out our picture of the world.  For example, there are very few other people I can ask about Jeff Cunningham’s transfer to Guatemala.  So as I learn about MLS some, I have you as the deep resource.

Not to make more of the question than maybe you intended, but a large part of my work in the world is actually about helping people find this place that we have as friends, because it can be a productive and generative place…it can create things in the world that otherwise wouldn’t have any chance of living.  This interview for example. Or the work I get to do with Tuesday which, as much as it is made possible by me and Tuesday being friends, is also made possible by our families being a part of what is held.  So, perhaps it is in working like this that means I’m not surprised that from time to time, mind reading goes on.  

Also I love that you still draw.  And I still have that little sketch you made of me playing guitar.  So that is one place where both of our childhood talents overlapped.  Cool.

I keep telling that woman to keep her mouth shut about me!  I am supposed to be an enigma, a cypher, a code that only a few understand, but that wife of mine, with her yapping flap tells everyone my bidness.

As far as the Cunningham thing goes, I guess that Guatemalan team was looking for a ball hog with no vision.

Question 8: So (and, dear readers, this is about to get just a bit off the norm) when you are actively holding space, for am open space or cafe or some other collaborative process can you intuit where and when negativity or other damaging energies (could merely be super unhappy deep rooted skepticism) into that space? I ask this prior to entering the boringest meeting known to man.

No I can’t intuit these things in advance.  I am sensitive to what is happening in the moment though.  Over the years I have developed a sense of courage I guess to be able to name such dynamics.  It helps that I don’t really belong anywhere, so I can sit in with a group and just name negativity and cynicism.  I try o name it in a way that is helpful, noticing patterns or thinking in a group that is getting in the way of working together.  

Seem times people knock what I do as “touchy feely” but I have a different perspective.  I think good relationships are important in every kind of group. Without good relationships you cannot do good work because you spend all your time and energy fighting, distracting, protecting turf, being mean and so on.  Not much time left to be cool, innovative, kind, creative or productive after all that.

Anyway, I hope your boring meeting goes well.

I was so hoping that you had some kind of super-power for holding space, sense there is a noticeable container that you place around any of the spaces you are holding. Oh well, my conception of you is shattered.  Question 9: Is there an appropriate function for cynicism in collaborative processes?

This is a good question and it puts me in mind of this Jessica Nagy diagram:

Now when I am working collaboratively, I don’t mind working with skeptics, because they bring useful reality checks to the situation. Cynics on the other hand, are generally poisonous.  

Having said that, I do spend a lot of time building processes in which cynics are ultimately welcome, but it’s not a good idea to involve them in the planning of these processes.

Cynics can be converted to skeptics sometimes.  What it takes is working with them to find out what they believe IS possible and what they are holding out for. Even the staunchest cynic has a little hope (see diagram).

Interesting, I never thought of Skeptics being Hopeful Doubters, but that makes sense.  My issue is that I am rather sarcastic and often people will think that my skeptic sarcasm turns the corner to cynicism.  In truth I am typically healthily skeptic.  My cynicism only rears it’s ugly head in my belief that the horrible hateful humans who attempt to sabotage collaborative processes (I am looking at you JG and SG) can change and be helpful instead of being self-loathing process road-blocks.

So, I am sure that when you were growing up, you did not sit back and think, “When I grow up I will be a group process facilitator/host.” Question 10: When you were getting ready to enter the professional world… what were you going to be?

Dude…skeptical snark is sometimes quite helpful, if only in making me laugh. Witness football terrace culture.  Cynical snark has no place at the heart of a process.  Such witty terrorism needs to be dispatched with haste.  (Am I kidding? Am I?)

As to your question, when I was a teenager, I was going to be a minister in the United Church of Canada.  In fact when I was about 14 I did one of those aptitude tests that help you think about what you might become and it came out equal as a minister or an army officer.  Heh.

Those aptitude tests are ridiculous, because, as I tell my kids all the time, the job you will do in ten years hasn’t been invented yet, so there is actually no way you can learn it at school.  Even something traditional like a plumber or a lawyer or a pilot are all completely different jobs now than they were 20 years ago.  

In some ways I look back on that calling and I actually see that I am doing the best of what I wanted to be doing as a minister.  I am looking after the quality of groups and communities, walking alongside people as they find their way in a confusing world and asking good questions.  So in a funny way, perhaps this really is the calling I felt drawn to as a teenager.  

None of the jobs I have ever done are jobs that I wanted to do with my whole life. The job I was most proud of was “writer” which I did for two years, writing business cases for a management program.  My other actually jobs have included lifeguard, cemetery worker, gas station attendant, policy analyst and public information and consultation advisor.  Since 1999 I have been hard pressed to describe what I actually do, but “helping groups of people sort out complex situations” is pretty close.  

None of those were on my “to do” list.  The only other thing I wanted to be as a kid was an airplane mechanic, but that went out the window when I found myself cursing at basic bike repair.  It occurred to me then that I perhaps didn’t have the temperament to fix 737s, nor should I probably be allowed in the proximity of the mechanical workings of a 737 with that impatient attitude.

For the longest time I was going to be in the US Air Force and fly fast planes, but that turned out to be more of my dad’s dream than mine. With my rather healthy obstinence and contrariness, the military really wasn’t a good idea for me.  Sadly, I did major in math like my brother and my dad.  I guess the apple doesn’t really fall that far from the tree…  but a minister?  That just does not seem to fit at all theologically.  That being said, as a medium to bring people from disconnectedness to community, I could see that.

My wife would like to ask you a question, so Question 11 is from Tues… Question 11: Who is your favorite bi-racial female Art of Hosting host you have worked with who is solidly behind introducing Art of Hosting to the social justice field? (warning, she has stated that if you get this question wrong you will be punched)

Perhaps you need to update your theology, or take a closer look at what I actually do for a living, but yeah…you’re on the right track!

As to this question…Well there is a reason it is 20 questions Tuesday, isn’t there?

So I know you’re fishing for something here - well truthfully you are being put up to something - but I’m going to take the bait.

Your wife, Tuesday Ryan-Hart, is amazing.  She is a smart, warm, funny, generous and very serious practitioner of her art.  She is one of my closest friends in the work, and a great colleague and a great teacher.  We have done some truly huge work together, running consecutive Food and Society Conferences for 600 people core to the good food movement, which was a task that would have been impossible without her deep dedication to the justice angle and the harvesting work.  We have rocked social justice activists in Chicago and New York - and that is no mean feat.  We have sat in deep reflection together on issues of race and gender and power and love.  And we strolled with all the confidence in the world into an exclusive country club in Virginia and hosted 40 type A east coast social entrepreneurs in what began as a great punch line and ended as the best staff retreat Ashoka Changemakers had ever had.  She is simply one of the few who I would never hesitate to have alongside me in the work in any context.  

So I hope that’s the right answer, but if it isn’t I’ll happily take a punch, because it was a pleasure to get all that gratitude out.

She is truly an amazing person, and I am extremely lucky to be able to share my life with her. What I love about the work that you and Tuesday do is that she absolutely loves the people she works with, and, in most cases, loves the clients that she works with as well.  As our wee ones get older, I am sure that her enjoyment of her work will only grow.  Truth be told, I am a bit envious of her vocational situation since mine is a bit craptastic currently.

Since you are a person who is continually growing, Question 12: where do you see yourself targeting your own growth in the near future?

Targeting my own growth.  Mmm.  Sounds strategic.

A few years ago someone asked me what my business goals were, and my response was that I have no goals.  And that is the truth.  It’s impossible for me to know how this job will evolve so what I do is just hold questions and follow those,  some of the questions I am holding right now include understanding the relationship between talk and action and love and power, figuring out how to balance the information and creativity in group settings, and looking at how conversation as a leadership practice translates into organizational structure and design.  I find that holding these questions as inquiries leads me into all kinds of interesting situations.

If anything my business model consist of invitation and friendship.  I pay attention to invitations and issues invitations and I cultivate and work with friends.  That model has served me really well over the years, both from a business point of view and from a personal point of view.  I am a learner, and I try to put myself in situations where some new insight will strike me.  That is true of work, parenting, music, living in community, playing soccer, whatever. Mi get bored easily if I’m not learning, so the only targeting I do is to put myself in novel situations.  Always on my edge.

Seem times when people ask me what I do I say that I help groups of people live with the complexity of unanswerable questions.  When this is your core mission, work never gets boring because complexity always throws up new challenges and new questions that we have never dealt with as humans.  That is a growth industry.

Having said all that, I’m definitely trying to get better at playing centre back. Figuring out how to tackle people who are faster than me is an ongoing challenge!

Center back (notice how we can switch between Canadian spelling and American spelling fluidly, we are truly multi-lingual) is a tricky position, especially if you are playing with a 3 man back line.  The way you close down faster opponents is all about angles and reading the passing lanes.  You have to rely on guile and wisdom when dealing with a faster opponent.  That and it helps if you broke someones leg a few games beforehand… then the forward tends to dish the ball off instead of trying to get past you. Overwhelming fear is a great defensive tactic.

I feel I did a disservice to my previous question in my phrasing.  For example, the targeting for growth that I am doing currently has to do with accepting failure and realizing that is sometime necessary for long term success.  Also, I am trying to take care of my physical health more.

Back to your hosting practice. Question 13: Do you feel that being biracial affects your hosting practice?  

Well thanks for the advice on playing centre back. And my answer stands about targeting my growth.  But then I’m good at over complicating things.  It happens at centre back too.

As to the question, it’s hard to tell, given that I have never been anything else. Things is that although I have Native ancestry, I have very white skin, and so in multi racial families in Canada white skin often means ” oh good…we can keep it a secret.”. However due to a helpful great aunt (who, like my grandfather, had skin the color of burnt mahogany!) I discovered the secret.  A few years later talking to an Elder about it, he told me I was like a living treaty and that everything I felt inside, all the confusing feelings about unreconciled ancestral relations was actually useful, because I could feel what society was feeling.  The difference of course is that an individual can know those feelings while society generally doesn’t and as a result often engages in shadowy activity.  Hosting is a good way to help society deal with all the shadowy bits, but sometimes the bits that are unresolved in me get charged up, so it’s a blessing and a curse.  That’s probably an area for growth I should target.  

The moniker of “living treaty” has been helpful for me in thinking about my hosting practice, and the idea that I am hosting some little bit of the energy of the bigger field has also really helped me.

Reading back that sounds very west coast.  Is there a Buckeye way to say what I just said? If not, then the answer to your question is “yes.”

I know that for Tuesday, her biracial status definitely informs all of her hosting.  I also love the “living treaty” aspect of who you are.  I love learning about other cultures and cannot wait to spend more quality time chatting with you about our disparate cultural roots.

Let’s go deep into collaborative process.  In my brief and limited exposure to the application of collaborative processes and, more importantly, the results that come out of these processes, it seems like these methods have a great generative energy.  The resulting projects that fall out of this generative energy tend to slowly wither on the vine prior to developing its promised fruit.  To clarify: These processes seem to really generate good energy, but are hard to sustain and even harder to come to a good closing point. Question 14: Is this a phenomenon that you have noticed?  and if so, why do you think this is the case?

That is an interesting analysis Scott…I wonder if yer not doin’ it right.

The point of collaborative process is to generate sustainable and effective ways forward.  My mantra is designing these kinds of things is “I’m not planning a meeting, I’m planning a harvest.”  In other words, it is easy to create a gathering of people that have a good time together - that is called a party - but that isn’t what I do.  For me it’s about generating a powerful and positive mix of good relationships, powerful and necessary work and appropriate co-learning.  If you are missing one of these three things, you don’t get sustained smart action.

I think lots of facilitators are in love with their tools, and certainly when many people learn a new process they are keen to try it out, but if you use these things in the absence of a context of need, then you don’t get action planning, you get commitment ceremonies.

For me, meeting design is about process design, and any given meeting is embedded in a context of need.  Why do we need to do this?  What are we putting in place up front to ensure sustainability?

Also, it’s important to notice that in complex situations we can’t know in advance what the answers are, so it is important for some actions to whither on the vine. We call those “safe to fail initiatives.”  in other words, if you are putting the pressure on every little idea to be the right and correct way forward, you will miss the possibility of learning from and adjusting to things that don’t work.  In working in complexity, failure is as important as success, and without that good generative energy, failures can often rip a system apart.  When people are in good relationship with one another, the system becomes more tolerant of failure and is better able to embrace it, and learn from it.  Failure becomes as important as success for moving forward.  That is a good definition of resiliency.

Another thing: we often measure results in limited ways, making it hard to see changes that have actually happened.  Sometimes the desired results don’t occur, but many other changes have taken place within a system.  We have to learn to look at those, and work with results in complex ways, not merely identifying the causes and effects that we can see.  Complex system contain many invisible relationships which are far outside of our control, but which have important consequences for planning and action.  Willful blindness to these dynamics creates a kind of delusion that contributes to the assumption that we know what we’re doing.

Lastly, to your point about closing.  Some things have a life span and some things don’t.  In complex and evolving systems, there are no finish lines.  We move from start line to start line, heading in a general direction and learning as we go.  For example, you can work for world peace, but if you measure your success by whether or not you stop every war, you will be sorely disappointed.  Also, if you DO stop war, you can’t just sit back and put your feet up…the work continues.  In this world right now we have an obsession with finish lines that sometimes is unhealthy.  Things are so geared to outcomes that we forget our place in the world.  We tell our funders or our bosses that we have more power over the context of our work than we do, and when things don’t work out the way we promised, we blame others.  It’s not helpful.  My biggest wish for the world is that we would learn to think about complexity properly and learn how to take appropriate action in a complex system.

An example.  If you are a professional centre back, does it makes sense for you to have a contract clause that says you will make five sliding tackles in every game? Of course not, because the circumstances and situations in every game are different.  You COULD go out there and get your five sliding tackles, but that has nothing to do with the game or the result. You could even keep to that contract clause for a whole season and yet concede 7 goals in every game, and you’d still be a success by the standards of your narrow definitions of outcomes.  That is the kind of thinking that powers the world at the moment (thank you “management by objectives”), and collaborative process, especially tied to the needs of working in complex systems, helps to give a new view to things so that we can act more appropriately and effectively.

That all makes good sense.  In my experience, I have seen a few ideas get caught in the generative energy.  Basically, I think (for those times) in the generative space, people over-estimate their level of energy for a project.  

So, Question 15: In your opinion, is there an optimal number of people for collaborative processes?

Now that I think about it, I think it’s not really true that energy is generative if it catches ideas like a whirlpool.  That is a kind of trap.

As to optimal sizes, it all depends.  Innovation generally starts with individuals, so I like to build time into to processes for people to just be quiet and think for a bit.  Small groups can help refine and test good ideas, and large groups can help propagate ideas and connect them to larger patterns.

In small group work, in general, working with an odd number is helpful because it creates an instability that keeps the group moving.  If you want solidity, you work with even numbers.  So it goes like this:

1 = innovation, idea generation, inspiration and commitment
2 = Pairs are good for long and exploratory conversations, interviews, and partnering
3 = Good number for a small team to rapidly prototype a new idea
4 = A good number for a deep exploration.  You benefit from having two pairs together, and from having a little more diversity in the group than in two.
5 = good number for a design team; there is always an instability in a group of five and good diversity, but the group is not so large that people get left out.
6 = Good for noticing patterns, and summing up.  A group of six can be entered from three pairs coming together as well, allowing for insights gathered in pairs to be rolled up.
7 = At this scale we are losing the intimacy we need for conversation, and so generall I will work a group of seven into 3 and 4 if we need to break up.
8 = is too big.  And it is no coincidence that big conferences are boring, because most hotels have tables that can accomodate 8, 9, or 10 people which is too many for real conversation.  At these scales, people start to be able to dominate and introverts dry right up.

It is a good practice to use a huge group (like in the dozens or hundreds) to source the diversity that is needed for good dynamic small groups, and then to find ways to propagate ideas from the very small to the very large.

This is good…I’m going to go post this on my blog now!  Thanks for asking the question!

I live to serve.  I have often been credited by people who are uncreditable for helping them flesh out ideas merely by saying things like “Huh?” “I don’t get it,” “Say again,” and “are you gonna eat that?” It is a talent.  Sometimes I just need to walk into a room and pause beside them.  I am an idea catalyst by my very existence…

Seriously, that answer seems to make super great sense.

Which leads me to ask Question 16: Bearing in mind your previous answer… What is your specific sweet spot?  Of those numbers 1 through 8 numbers, is there 1 or 2 sized groups where do you most enjoy seating yourself as host and processing?

I’m partial to five for lots of things.  And I like 1s and 2s as well.  You know it really depends on what we are doing, so it’s hard to say what my favourite number is.  2 is perfect for a date.  3 is not.  4 is perfect for a double date. 5 is awkward.  6 could be good for a triple date, but that seems culty.

Context matters, y’dig?

"Culty" is now a word I will use… That one has made it into the everyday usage lexicon (unlike “lexicon” which is only brought out for special occassions, much like the good silver).  Context always matter, but I think your gut reaction to 5 speaks to the type of group work you enjoy most.

This is the last random question for this 20 Questions.  Q’s 18, 19, and 20 are prescribed to cap off the 20 Questions.  So, I will try to make Question 17 count. Question 17: When are we going to see another match?  I mean seriously, that needs to happen this spring/summer sometime maybe 4-28 for Whitecaps at Crew (only Crew v Whitecaps game this season) or some other game at BC Place?

4/28 will be tricky to make, because my son will be playing in an Ultimate Tournament in Seattle.  But I wouldn’t completely discount that possibility…let’s just see.

As for coming here, you know, anytime.  And you will be my guest.  I share six season’s tickets with six other guys and we divide them all up and all get to see a fair number of matches.  We have great seats on the edge of the supporters section, on the 18 yard line.  Right in the atmosphere and the glory of the Southsiders, of which we are members.  With my travel schedule this year, I think I can only make 7 home games (not counting CONCACAF Champions League which we will certainly qualify for this year!).  My son and I are heading to the opener tomorrow against one of all time bitter rivals, the Montreal Surrendermonkeys.  

Going to watch the Crew with you and Tim Merry last year was a delight, and I hold out for the day when we get to watch Vancouver and Columbus do battle live (or who knows, Spurs/Fulham…?). I think our friendship will not only survive that test, but be strengthened by it.

And by the way, what is the stake on this year’s game?  Last year you won a BowenFC shirt and a sweet Whitecaps scarf off me.  We are a better team this year, but I we’ll see how our road record in the eastern time zone is.  So what would you like to win off me this year?

Ha!  I would love for you to get here for the 4/28 game.  Since it is so soon, I was kind of coyly throwing it out there, but if it sticks, you are more than welcome!  It is too bad that the crew and the ‘Caps are only meeting once this year.  I totally dug grabbing a game with you, your lovekly wife and Tim this past year.  I liked it even more since the Crew beat Colorado.  This year, I think we should slip back into something less permanent like food… who doesn’ like food?  I proudly wear thr Bowen FC shirt all the time, and the boy loves the scarf. I am also proud to say that Vancouver has taken over for Houston as my “away team I follow.”  So let’s go caps.  Your team this year seems to have some really amazing personalities on it, and I hope that they are able to gel into a strong cohesive unit.

Turn about is fair play… and I am a bit nervous about this question… Question 18: Is there anything you want to ask me?

Okay. Food it is. Some kind of smoked salmon for you. How about a box of those crazy good Buckeye chocolate things from you?

As for a question for you.  Let me pick up on that nervous bit. I have a favourite question from Peter Block that is right for these kinds of occasions. What is the gift you have for the world that you haven’t yet offered us all?

Done and done..  That stuff is called Buckeye Crunch and is made by the Krema Nut Company… next time you are in town and not crazy always busy, we should go there and take a look at the wares.

As for the answer to your question…. for the world: I do not have the mathematical chops to extensively and rigorously test a theory that I have that would shore up a fundamental piece of mathematics.  It has to do with Bertrand Russell’s paradox as seen in his treatise on set theory.  More specifically it has to do with sets and compliments of sets.  To get the full theory, libations are necessary and graph paper… you can always use graph paper.

On a more local scale, I do not feel (at the risk of sounding pompous) that my overall potential for graphic recording/ graphic facilitation group and participatory process harvesting has not been even remotely tapped.  I feel I have a far different perspective that I could offer in that type of role… if only AoH type of work had a strong benefits package…

Question 19:  What are you taking out of these 20 Questions that you didn’t have with you when we started it?

Wow. Those answers were good. I have no idea what you are talking about with the first one - so yes, libations seem important. As for the second, it is true that hosting practice has limited benefits, but they are great benefits. Anyway when you move to Canada you won’t have to worry about health insurance. So that will free you up.
What have I learned?  Well considering that we started this a while ago and the restarted it, I’ve been the beneficiary I something like 52 questions from you.  I think I’ve learned how much I enjoy staying in touch with you, bit of banter, bit of serious chat. I’ve learned more about you, and it’s all good!
So less learning and more rediscovering our friendship. Glad we’ve taken the time to do it. And I look forward to spending some face to face time together. I’ll see about scheming up an excuse with your partner for getting to Columbus during football season. See if Renteria is really all that!

Renteria can be a beast, but he needs someone to run off of, so the 4-5-1 is not his best formation. I have enjoyed the absolute heck out of this one.  You are a deep and wonderful person that I am happy to have met, and extremely fortunate to get to know more thoroughly.  I look forward to our increased connection and watching some footie with you.  What this has done for me is really let me know that I need to make a greater effort to keep in touch.

Now for the last question.  It is open-ended and awesomely vague… Question 20: So, what’s next?  

What’s next… Things unfold, stuff happens, calls come and I go and try as best as I can to help serve the longing that humans have to be whole, for their interior lives to count for something just as their exterior actions matter too. And to dive into it with friends, this is the greatest gift of my life. So I’m off to do that, in Minnesota, Chicago, Toronto, Calgary, Slovenia, Denmark and in who knows what other places near and far.
It’s a pretty sweet life, and I’d be a fool not to just ride it with  a wave of gratitude.

Thanks for asking. Good questions!

The pleasure was all mine.  This was absolutely great!

To recap:
The wife is in Minnesota right now with the good Mr Corrigan
I am a little jealous of them both at the moment
Except they are working like dogs right now
I think for the 6.5 days that my wife is in Minnesota she has approximately 3 hours of free time
And somehow she has to find time for hygiene during those 3 hours
The wee ones are doing well
And eating like royalty
It really is the “This is the food the kids love” week
Mainly because I don’t want to deal with the grousing
Went to the physical therapist about my feet yesterday
The therapist did this weird stretch on my right foot that allowed my foot to work better
It was amazing
I am seriously surprised I was able to get that level of change with one crazy stretch
Then they used ultrasound on my feet to help reduce the inflammation
It was really surprising
yet, my feet are sore and tired today
Chat with you yokels later
If anyone wants to ask me to hit them up for questions when I am not doing these interviews
Leave a comment or get in contact with me
If anyone wants to be asked 20 questions by me, also let me know
I have a few more interviews going on right now, but I could use a few more
It is always nice to get some new perspectives
Have a great weekend everyone!

20 Questions Tuesday: 191 - Ethan Nicolle

It is a wonderful day when one of my requests for “doing a 20 Questions Tuesday” is actually accepted by someone I have never met in real life or online.  Today’s 20 Questions Tuesday is one of those days.  I sent out a pitiful email to Ethan Nicolle, the co-creator of the online comic Axe Cop and the creator of the online comic Bearmageddon.  If you have not read either of these comics, you should.  They are delightful.  Axe Cop is drawn by him and written by his younger brother (he was 5 when he started writing it), and is the best insight into the inner workings of a 5 / 6 year old, that has ever graced our world.  It is delightfully tangential.  Bearmageddon is his camp horror comic about bears going on rampages… think Piranha 3-D with laboratory tested and augmented bears, kind of like Deep Blue Sea on land.

His is an extremely talented artist.  His style is an exaggerated stylistic drawing that is very well grounded in reality.  Basically, his lines are fun and fun to look at.  Ethan has graciously agreed to answer 20 Questions here and let’s stop wasting his time and yours.  without further ado… onto the questions:

I am a map nerd and have my MA in geography, as well as loving a good story.  I was born in Oklahoma, moved to and grew up in Alabama, went to college in Kent, Ohio and then settled down in Columbus, Ohio.  Question 1:  What is your geographic story?

Born in Okanogan, WA… at some point lived in Canada somewhere when I was really young. My earliest memories are in Watkins, Colorado, living in a trailer park.  We then lived in a house in Bennett, Colorado.  From there we moved to Coquille, OR.  After that I lived around Coos County until i was 25 mainly in Empire and Lakeside (these are all very small towns) then in Coos Bay.  After that I moved to Vancouver, WA (just over the river from Portland, OR) then I lived in a van with the rock band I was in for a few months, then I lived in rat infested basement for a month in Portland, then I moved to Oregon City and lived in an attic over a garage until I moved down to Hollywood because I managed to get a show optioned at Cartoon Network.  I lived in Sylmar when I moved here and I now live in Glendale.

That is a whole bunch of the Pacific Northwest.  Question 2: Is there any place in particular that you consider to be “home” more than others?  For example, I spent most of my life growing up just outside of Birmingham, Alabama, but I truly and completely consider Columbus, Ohio my “Home.”

I usually say I am from Coos Bay.  I lived in and around that area the bulk of my life, from age 8 to 25.  It’s where most of my memories are from and it made me appreciate small town life.

Whence I was unemployed for a year and a half, I applied for a job in the Coos Bay area… I had a wonderful phone interview, and then did not hear anything after that… Anyhooo… So, since you are doing some stuff for Cartoon Network, is it as awesome as those commercials from the early 2000’s say it is?  Do you see Magilla Gorilla and Thundarr hanging out with Auggie Doggie and Doggie Daddy?  I bet that is awesome…  Hanna Barbera characters are awesome.

Question 3: What Hanna Barbera cartoon character would you love to hang out with?

I really only got to Cartoon Network for meetings from time to time.  I have not worked on a series there yet, I have only had some optioned.  But no, I have never seen actual living cartoon characters walking amongst the humans.  I think you have to have proper clearance.  As for what ones I might hang out with?  I think Magilla Gorilla and I would get along, though I would really like to hang out with, Hong Kong Phooey and Captain Caveman all together and just trade life stories.

Magilla Gorila, Hong Kong Phooey, and Captain Caveman? THAT’S a dinner party!

For those not “in the know” (myself included), and please correct me if I am wrong… “Optioned” means that a network/production company has purchase the rights to produce a show concept that you created. This, sadly, does not mean that the concept will make it all the way to our TV sets, but without being optioned, an idea cannot ever be on TV. —-The more you know

So for this exquisite dinner party where the definitive conversation of humanity’s future will be discussed by you, a talking gorilla in pink pants with suspenders, the number one super-guy, and a furry dude with a cape and a club, do you end the conversation with cake or pie?

Question 4: What’s you particular favorite, cake or pie?

Yes, an option is the network giving you a small amount of money for them to develop your idea for a small period of time (a year or two). After that time is up, if they don’t buy the rights they remain yours.  

I think I would order cake.  I like chocolate cake.  I’m pretty much a cliche of a fat guy.  Also I could make a joke once my face is covered in cake and say “cap-tain CAAAAAKE MAN!” which I’m sure would get a laugh out of Captain Cave Man.

You would be amazed at how opinionated people are about the Cake v Pie question.  As I said to another person I am currently in the middle of a 20 Questions Tuesday interview, people who choose pie, really like pie, but the people who choose cake would skin a kitten and sell family members for cake.  

I draw a bit.  And after a protracted hiatus (I am slowly but surely creeping back into after almost getting a minor in studio art in college, oh so long ago) I am finally trying to get some solid hours of pencil on page.  I knew when I was about 5 or 6, when I drew a fighter jet and was able to put a pilot and his seat in the little tiny cockpit, that drawing was something that meant a whole bunch to me.  Question 5:  When did you know that drawing was going to be a major part of your life? Was there a particular moment you can point to?

That really happened before I was cognizant.  My guess is at some point in my mother’s womb I scraped a drawing of a poop joke into my mother’s uterus wall and began laughing (gurgled laughing obviously) and that is probably when I came to that realization.  My mom says as soon as I could hold a piece of chalk I was on board.  When I got into preschool I had already been drawing constantly for a year or two, so I was drawing at an eight year old level (according to the teacher anyway).  I think that being better at something than other people perpetuates your investment in it, and since art is something I could always excel at, I always honed it and worked to get even better.  I actually feel like my learning has slowed down as I have been doing a lot of comics, because now I am so busy churning out books that I am not taking the time to focus my discipline in uncharted areas.  I learn new things here and there, but the real key to getting better is deliberately practicing elements of your craft you have not yet mastered.

Even though pushing yourself in new directions is the best way to stretch yourself, continued exercise and repetition is also a way to grow.  You may be selling yourself a bit short on the amount of growth that you have gone through.  I have noticed a growth in your story telling ability in the sequential art as you do more and more pages, but enough of the fanboi-ness here.  

So drawing for me is a wonderful exercise, but I have a question of motivation for you.  When I am inspired to draw, I can bang some lines out and feel really confident in the finished product. My question to you, my Question 6: is, how do you get yourself to draw when you are completely uninspired?  How do you motivate yourself to put the pencil to paper when you just don’t “feel it?”

I think it is important to have a general skepticism of doing anything based solely on feelings.  Feelings exist as indicators to add spice to live, but they are not good guides for decision making.  If you want to be a good artist, you need to practice drawing.  If you can only draw well when you feel like it, you are not ever going to be a professional.  A professional can perform their craft in demand, as needed.

When I was in a rock band I realized I could not write music on demand.  I to an extent I could get myself to work on writing more often, but I could  not churn out songs anywhere near the rate I could churn out comics pages.  Perhaps I could have with more practice, but I had reached a point where I could pump out comics at a much higher rate, and I got do it regardless of mood.  That is when I decided music is my hobby and comics was my career goal.  I think if your art is fully dependent on your mood, you are setting yourself up for failure to try to make that your job.  Make it your hobby, you will enjoy it more.

Though it is true there are times when you simply lack inspiration.  There are a few things I do to remedy things.  One is to always be working on a few projects, that way if one gets tiresome, you have something else to work on that feels fresher.  I also have a shelf full of books of art that really inspires me.  Look through Simon Bisley’s book of images from the Bible, a book of photos from the animal kingdom, or some books of art from various films (some of my favorites: District 9, Rango, Peter Jackson’s King Kong).  Also, artist’s sketchbooks can inspire you.  You also may just need a break.  Take a half hour and do something else, then try again.  Whatever you do, don’t just lay around waiting until you are in the mood.  You will do your best work when that mood strikes, but you must be able to generate good work even without it.

Awesome… I have asked that question of a bunch of different people, and the answers have been all over the place, but the gist of everyone’s response is to push past the ennui and just do some drawing… I know of some musicians that actually sit down and write some trite unimaginative schlock when they are uninspired, and that sometimes this exercise will get rid of the cobwebs and kick start the creative process.  Anyway… Back to the questions…

When I was a young-un I fell in love with John Byrne’s run on Captain America, and Captain America became “my comic book hero.” I can even remember (and I have stated it before in other 20 Questions I have done) the exact issue that drew me in… Question 7: Was there a particular character or, even more specifically, a particular issue of a book that really just let you know that comic books were THE thing for you?

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles definitely had a huge impact on me.  I distinctly remember picking up #13 of the Archie Series from 711 when I was a little kid and loving it.  I would practice drawing every image in the comic.  I recently found this back issue at Kevin Eastman’s gallery that was at Meltdown Comics for a while.  It really took me back.  You can see my influences all over those pages… the randomness, the mish mash of characters, the style.  Here is the cover of it:

Other comics that had a big impact were Calvin & Hobbes and the Far Side.  As I got older, the Maxx, Cyberfrog, Johnny the Homicidal Maniac and Squee all had a good sized impact, but I attribute a large amount of my influence to the Turtles, both the Archie series and the Mirage comics.

Great!  I just listened to a podcast (the Dork Forest with Jackie Kashian Ep 95) where Eastman chatted about starting out… It was delightful.  Question 8: Have you had the opportunity (especially since the success of the Axe Cop #1 published by Dark Horse) to meet any of your comic book industry heroes? and as a pre-follow-up question to that, Who are your comic book industry heroes?

Yes I have had the opportunity to meet and befriend many of my comic industry heroes.  It started with Doug TenNapel, who really became my Master Splinter in the industry and eventually my best friend.  Once I released Chumble Spuzz on SLG, Jhonen Vasquez became a friend and very supportive of my work.  Kevin Eastman has also been one of the nicest guys in comics to me and has taken time to give me lots of advice.  Those three guys represent a large influence on me when it comes to comics.  I have met a lot of other creators since. Countless.  And it is crazy when I meet someone like Erik Larson or Rob Liefeld who I used to read about in Wizard Magazine when I was in high school and they have heard of my work.  It’s somewhat surreal.  I think my favorite connection to be made with geek culture out of Axe Cop was the Mystery Science Theater 3000/RiffTraxx guys.  I’m only a geek for a few things, and MST3K is one of them.  Those guys are genuinely good dudes and Mike Nelson has become a trusted friend.  The coolest thing about meeting your heroes is finding out they are actually heroic.  This rarely happens, but when it does, you find a person in your life that makes reality feel bigger and your aspirations grow but also become more attainable.  Good heroes who are truly good people don’t just do good work, they cause people around them grow in their own potential as people.  I am really thankful to have seemed to have found a lot of these kinds of heroes.

That is pretty awesomely surprising that the some of the people you considered your heroes were actually heroic.  That, from what I have heard, is very rare indeed.  It is even rarer to meet a hero and befriend that hero.  That is pretty great stuff there.  

A bit more technical and traditional here, but… Question 9: What is your drawing process like? Are you still producing traditionally, or have you made the switch to digital?  If you are primarily digital, do you still follow a traditional process (e.g. thumbs, roughs, finished pencils, inks) or something radically different, and what tools do you use?

I started working all digital back when I made Chumble Spuzz for SLG.  At the time, I was just going to do it on that project because I was not trying to do real detailed artwork, I just wanted it to look like an animated cartoon in panels.  But I was surprised to see how detailed I could go with digital, and how no one could ever tell if my work was digital or not.  It was so efficient that I couldn’t go back.  I do work traditionally using digital though, I still layout my pencils and everything and my process is fairly similar, it is just more convenient and efficient.  I don’t thumbnail so much as I just do a really rough pencil of each page, then before I ink I do a more defined pencil where needed.  Because editing is so much easier in digital, the thumbnail process can be morphed into the penciling process, at least that’s how I do it.  Lately on both Bearmageddon and Axe Cop I have done some ink and brush work then scanned it in and worked it into the finished digital art, so sometimes I still use real ink, but rarely.

I find that I still have to at least start out traditional and then clean clean clean in the digital space.  Even for the fantasy maps I make, I always start with pencil on paper.  I, however, would drop this process like yesterday’s fish if I had a Cintiq… I would need to have piles of forgotten money laying around in the house prior to that being an issue.  Other people I have chatted with that work primarily in the digital space often blend together the thumbnail to pencil step

Question 10: My wife wants to know this, If you have a wife do you ignore her, and if you don’t have a wife would you ignore her if you did?… I am not sure what the wife is getting at…

haha is she really asking me this or was this one for you?  I don’t have a wife.  But obviously if I had one I hope I would not ignore her.  I have an awesome girlfriend and I definitely pay a lot of attention to her, which is one reason I have gotten behind schedule recently.  I could see myself going into periods of recluse during marriage when I am deep into a project, but hopefully I will try to combat those tendencies.

As far as the motivation for this question, it is a little of column A and a little of column B.  My wife was waiting on me to comment and then ask you a question so we could get Archer started up on Netflix… She was a bit impatient last night, and her question was all in good fun.  It does raise a more interesting specter though.  The issue of creative immersion.  When doing creative work it is sometimes necessary and at other times unintentionally unavoidable to descend into a near catatonic creative space.

Question 11: How often, when you are working, do you look up and notice it is 3 hours later than you thought it was?

That doesn’t happen to me a lot.  Only if I am REALLY into a project, but in general it has become a daily grind and my internal clock is always pretty well aware of what time it is.  All the Facebook and email distractions, as well as text messages and other things break my day up too.  Sometimes I think I should lock myself into a silent chamber to get more work done, but I don’t really want to become an albino comic artist cave man.

I kind of want to see a comic book about an albino artist cave man… it could be super meta… I know that if I get into the trees of a project, I can seriously lose time working on details.

So my mother-in-law has a family mantra that has stuck with me as a mantra to live by.  That particular mantra is, “Don’t let the fuckers get you down.”  I am planning on creating a family crest with that inscribed as the motto…

Question 12: Do you have any mottos, creeds, credos, adages, or mantras that are either family sayings or that particularly speak to you?

I’m an avid reader of G.K. Chesterton and his general theme of trying to see the world for how wondrous it really is rather than glossing over it and making everything small is something I really try to apply to my life. One quote is “It can be maintained that the evil of pride consists in being out of proportion to the universe.”. He says this right after telling a story about a boy who wishes he’s  a giant and he becomes bored with the world because it looks like just another toy.  His friend wishes to be a Pygmy and he never runs out of wonders even though he never leaves the tiny garden in front of the house.  We have a tendency to overlook the beauties and the robustness of life.  I really try to see the world through a microscope rather than a telescope, which is another Chesterton analogy.

Here we are at the seminal Question 13… the number 13 always makes me think of superstitions and rituals.  Prior to soccer games in high school and fencing bouts in college, I used to have a very distinct method/ritual to get ready.  Now I find myself doing some very regimented processes online to get ready to artistic things. Question 13: So are there any superstitions or rituals that you adhere to?

Well I am an active Christian so by some people’s definition I am insanely superstitious.  I practice the age old ritual of studying the bible, praying for the people in my life and that I would continually become a better man every morning at breakfast.  I think it is very important to pray to God daily and thank Him for as many things as I can think of, because I believe in the superstition of gratitude and treat it like a ritual.  Actually I honestly believe in God.  I also ritualistically sit down with good friends, smoke a pipe, drink a little whiskey and talk about life, God and politics.  I also participate in the ritual of communion.  I think without these things I would be a much more hollow person.  I know this question is geared more towards something like wearing the same pair of underwear the entire time I am working on a graphic novel, but no I don’t have any of those rituals.  I tend toward the traditions and rituals that have stood the test of time, the ones every generation says are old and tired and yet they stand firm with every passing fashion. 

It is interesting that you seem to be a devoutly Christian person (something I knew about you prior to starting this 20 Questions), yet are able to recognize that much of the trappings of Christianity that you ascribe to can seem like superstition and ritual for people who do not believe as you.  That makes it seem like your faith is one that has been investigated and internally questioned. Which, honestly, is all that I truly ask of people who are religious.  The people who infuriate me are the dogmatic unquestioning practitioners… the ones who spout off tired dogma without having once truly contemplated the meaning of their faith.  That being said, when I truly sat down and questioned my faith, faith did not win.

The depth of your answers has been rather delightful, and I have to say rather unexpected considering most of the work you have out there for people to look at is full of absurdity and whimsy.  Question 14: Do you feel that your current work is, overall, an accurate portrayal of who you are as a person? as an artist?  If not, why do you think there is a discrepancy.

Thanks I appreciate that.  I find any person who dogmatically clings to a set of ideas without questioning them obnoxious, and there are plenty of those in every camp, including the non religious.  As for my work… I think my work so far only represents one part of me, it is the part I find easiest to express: humor.  One work I have done I feel misrepresents me, that was my involvement in Jesus Christ: In the Name of the Gun.  I ended up apologizing for it.  My humor, being a strength, can also be a weakness, and I disagree with modern culture who claims that in comedy, nothing is sacred.  When people say that, they usually don’t really mean it.  What they really mean is nothing average Americans hold sacred is sacred.  There are plenty of topics they would never joke about.  I put humor on a pedestal with that project and I do wish I hadn’t done it.  I do hope to branch out and do some other types of stories as I get better at writing.  I have mainly stayed where I am comfortable (humor) because I feel like this is still practice.  I don’t feel like I have really done my great project and become the creator I wanted to become.  Maybe I never will, but I’ll always work toward it. 

I think that constant striving to be better, the “Maybe I never will, but I’ll always work toward it” mentality is what eventually takes people from the realm of merely “good” to the heights of “great.”. I have no doubt that with the creativity you are showing with your online properties, great is in your future.  Enough fawning on my part.  Seriously, I feel kind of ill after that.  

Now to a more industry related topic, Question 15: How do you see the digital marketplace and digital distribution changing the medium of sequential art (“comic books” I think is starting to be a narrow name for how the stories are delivered, but I think will take on the colloquial name for the method, much like Band Aid or Xerox)?  I ask this because I know that much of your success is due to the creation of a compelling property primarily in the digital space.

I think it will change things, but I don’t know exactly how yet.  I think there is an uncertainty in all forms of entertainment right now because we are in this metamorphosis between offline entertainment like movies, books, CDs and comics to Internet-based entertainment.  I think all the mediums know that the Internet is changing the way things are done and I don’t think any of them have nailed it down yet.  It is changing so rapidly it seems hard to find a good solid way of doing things.  Right now it is clear to me that for comics to succeed they need an internet presence.  Big name comics may be ok just releasing a preview, but I think indie comics, if they are trying to seek an audience, are fooling if they don’t use the great tool that is the internet.  The net is a way to reach people on a massive scale from your home, it’s access we never had before and all the old gatekeepers like publishers and studios are in a frenzy trying to understand how to handle the loss of power.  I started doing web comics not because I liked web comics, but because I made comics and wanted people to read them.  I couldn’t think of a better way to accomplish that than to post them online.  I wasn’t going to make any money anyway.  I am about as confused as most people how to really monetize this kind of thing.  It feels like a big ongoing experiment.  I make money but it’s not great money and it feels like a very fickle income to base my life on.  What it has done is gotten my name out to other industries like film, TV and animation.  As far as will comic books become obsolete?  I am guessing that the paper book will become an antique some day.  As tools to view these things develop and as new generations don’t hold any sentimental value or nostalgia for physical paper books, I think there is a good chance they will become pretty rare.  I don’t say that in any other spirit but just being honest with trying to see things go as they usually do.  I love books and I love owning them, but if I grew up only reading books on a Kindle I think I would consider physical paper books a real hassle.  I feel like I could write you an entire essay on this topic, but we will leave it at that.

Well, I hope that the model solidifies soon such that you are able to live comfortably off of your online products, and that your other work in more traditional media becomes more like vanity projects.  That would be a wonderful thing.  I have been a part of a few interesting conversations on the “new media” models that encompass fledgling artists all the way to Internet success stories like Jonathan Coulton and statistical outliers like the Louis CK distribution model that just happened.  I too could probably go on for days about this topic, but seriously, I don’t think it would be the most captivating 20 Questions I could think of.

Question 16:  So what digital properties do you follow? Podcasts, Web-Comics, blogs, vlogs, vid-casts, etc..

I listen to audiobooks from Audible.com and watch Netflix pretty regularly.  I listen to some podcasts, mainly talk radio shows I like that are podcasted after they air.  I don’t really read any web comics regularly though I do check in on Kris Straubs Chainsaw Suit from time to time.  I like Dr. McNinja but I like reading it in book form.  I have a few comic reading apps on my iPad but I don’t use them much unless I want to sample a comic I have been hearing about.  I have been doing most of my book reading on a Kindle. 

I have stated on this here blog before that I listen to about 35 hours of podcasts per week.  It is a sickness and the name of the sickness is “Shitticus Jobasucks.” Seriously, it is a crappy job that takes very little metal engagement, but enough about me and my digital consumption.

Question 17: Is there an absolute worst job out there that you can think of?  The one I think of is Assistant Crack Whore or Understudy to Meth Head Number 1.

Well barring prostitution and slavery which I do not consider legitimate jobs, I think the most miserable job would be a job where you have to stay completely still, or do one very monotonous thing over and over again without getting to listen to a radio or talk to a co-worker.  I think that kind of work is degrading and I feel sorry for anyone who has to do it. 

Sadly, in many ways you just described my position… Very monotonous and with a cadre of co-workers who are, in many ways, duller than doorknobs… and hyperbole is the funniest form of humor ever… In effect, you do not envy me… just great…

Well, turn about is fair play… so Question 18: Anything you want to ask me?

What do you do for work?  And do your co-workers read your blog?  I bet they are more interesting than you give them credit for.  I bet if you literally worked alone in a room full of door knobs you’d begin to miss them.

For the record I work for the state of Ohio in the DOT’s geotechnical engineering department.  I am the geographic information systems specialist.  My job is to oversee all the historical bore hole locations being digitized and create the digital GIS files for the newly drilled bore holes.  My current coworkers, as far as I know, do not know of this blog, and, truthfully they are more interesting than doorknobs.  One of the gentlemen I work with is quite possibly the angriest man in the world, and he has reason for it… to a point.  That being said, my office has one door, no windows and is tucked around a corner such that if anyone doesn’t NEED to see me, they do not have to.  There was a 3 to 4 week period where my boss didn’t speak to me, just because there was not a reason to turn the corner and say something to me.  So, yes, it is technically more interesting than a doorknob storage room… but not by much.

Question 19: So, what are you taking away from these 20 Questions that you did not bring in?

This is a really long interview haha.  But I got to answer some questions I have never answered before and I think people who want to know more about what makes me tick will get enjoy it, if any of them are out there.

It is a long process, but I hope it was not arduous or burdensome.  The idea behind the 20 Questions is to really drill past some of the typical questions and smurf out how you tick.

The last question is vague and nebulous and wonderfully open ended…  Question 20: What’s next?

No it was cool, I had fun.  What’s next… well, there are things I can talk about and things I can’t.  The big thing that is very close is March 28th the third volume of Axe Cop will be released by Dark Horse Comics.  After that, in July we will begin to release the new miniseries titled Axe Cop: President of the World which is another three part series that continues where Bad Guy Earth left off.  I know the Steve Jackson wants to do a Munchkin Axe Cop expansion pack down the road so that will be cool.  I will also be attending conventions including Wonder Con this weekend and Emerald City Comic Con at the end of month (Malachai will also attend that one).  Outside of those things, there are things I would love to talk about that are pretty exciting but I just can’t mention them publicly yet.  Lots of potential awesomeness.  Thanks for the interview!

OK, seriously?  Seriously?  This was soooooo much fun for me, and you have been more than patient with me!  This has taken a bunch of your time and you have been absolutely wonderful throughout this entire experience.  Thanks so much for your generosity!  The Internet is an amazing place

To recap:
How frakkin cool was that?
I mean, Come ON!  That was bad. ass.!
The Plantar Faciitis is quite annoying
Annoying in a painful way
The 3 year old little girl is still awake
It is 10:53 pm right now
Ethan finished question 20 right under the wire!
Thanks so much!
I am looking into IA and UXD as a new potential path
Google it your damn selves
Tomorrow I get to go take pictures of holes in the ground…. from the inside
It is like a colonoscopy…. FOR THE EARTH!
I need to finish this up and get to bed
Good night all
Have a great weekend everybody

20 Questions Tuesday: 190 - Random Q's

I couldn’t come up with a topic for this week’s post… So I went topic-less and asked for random questions.  Alas and alack there did not seem to be a rash of spontaneous synchronicity.  I can deal with that.  In fact, I excel at doing just that.  I am all about the random asynchronous spontaneity.  That is something that I am ready, willing, and able to do week in and week out.  Truly it is where I am a Norse raider; a viking, if you will.

Thanks this week go to Lord Pithy, Ralph, Chris Corrigan, Brett Wood, and some other guy… Onto the questions!

1.  What was the worst travesty of justice ever perpetrated by the academy of motion pictures?

I would say the snub of Baz Lurhmann in the category of Best Director for Moulin Rouge… and the make up Oscar for Chicago the following year.

2.  What is the best color for a car? Is that color different for a sports car than for a hearse?

I like red cars, because they are incredibly easy to see on the road… That being said, I am partial to black cars.  Hearses should always be black… ‘cause they are sad

3.  Bricks, I like ‘em. What’s your favorite building material?

Aluminium… but not aluminium siding.

4.  “Mmmmmm, nanners.” Your turn.

mmmmm pig

5.  In your opinion, who was the most unsung character from the Happy Days franchise (including all spin-offs)?

Potsy… there was not enough of his wet blanket character in any/all of the series.

6.  Ninja zombies vs vampire pirates?

Well, it depends on whether you subscribe to the theory of the fast zombie… otherwise, I will go with zombie ninja to deal with, and if I had to be one, I would be a vampire pirate.

7.  Why five questions?

I do not wish to over-burden my questioneers by asking them for anything more than 5 questions.  However, I don’t limit

8.  Lightsaber vs anything in King Arthur’s legends?

Lightsaber… Excalibur is described as “unbreakable” and “ever sharp” but never described as “resistant to high-tech plasma cutting devices”

9.  Why does buttered toast land on the buttered side?  IF you tap buttered toast, butter up, to a cat’s back and drop it, is that perpetual motion?

62% of buttered toast falls end up butter side down.  This is more than random in its occurrence, but there is not a biological device manipulating the body to land butter side down.  The cat is actively manipulating its spinal column to land feet first… my bet is on the cat and not the buttered toast.

10.  In the event of a tornado, will you take cover or try to be a You Tube hero?

I studied natural disasters for about 4 years of my college life, especially tornadoes and hurricanes.  In all of that research, I have never seen one…  I would LOVE to see one… I, however, would not film one, or stand in a doorway praying instead of taking cover.

11. Why haven’t you moved to British Columbia yet?

I need a job… is there a job out in BC that you can get me?

12.  What is the single most important thing you have ever learned?

That is is okay to “not” know something.

13.  Which period of history in most instructive for the present?

I think there are aspects and inklings in all times of history that can effectively inform the present.  The issue is knowing, from all the history available from which to glean, which lessons to apply and when.

14.  Would you like fries with that?

Not especially.

15.  How do you feel about being named Scott?

I like it.  As a kid I was called Scotty (until college), but I feel that Scott definitely fits my personality.

16.  How long did it take to realize someone misspelled Heart in your last name?

No one has misspelled anything.  The “Hart” in my name refers to a Middle English word for “deer.”  Not merely some cardiological muscle.

17.  Where do you see yourself in 20 years?

At home, having some good conversations with friends via whatever the Internet becomes.

18.  Any thoughts on 2012 being the end of the world?

I think 2012 will not be the end of the world.  At most, there may be a shift in how things are perceived in our lives such that “life as we know it ends.”

19.  Whats your favorite food?

Gonna go with pizza.  It is fairly generic and with the advent of different sauces and genres of pizza, it is super versatile.  Everything from breakfast pizzas to desert pizzas are encapsulated within the genre of “pizza.”

20.  What’s next?

That is an interesting question.  I feel that what is next for this blog is one or two (maybe three) interview style 20 Questions with some delightfully random guest answerers.  So look forward to that.

To recap:
Lots of feet stretching going on all up in here
Turns out all the foot pain I have been dealing with in the past 3 to 4 years is just some nasty-ass plantar faciitis
My feet hurt a ton
In fact I need to go stretch now
I always need to stretch the feets
I am hungry
Looking forward to lunch
I am thinking of getting a salad
That involves driving past all the fast food places
It will be worth it
Cause salads are good
My 10 year old self just kicked me in the shins and called me a “sell-out”
Oh wells, you can’t be 10 forever
If you want me to send you question requests, please leave a comment or ask a question
If you want me to ask you 20 questions, please leave a comment or ask a question
I think everyone in the house is feeling pretty well
It is surprising
Usually at least 1 of the 4 is down with something
Have a great weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 189 - Pirates

 

There is a constant conversation that seems to be going on in the circles that I… um… circle in concerning the topic of digital piracy, but let’s be honest.  Digital piracy is a boring topic concerning an antiquated non-global copyrighting system.  Therefore it is incumbent that I, as a blogger, remove the “digital” tag and open the topic to all forms of piracy.
 
Thanks this week go to Ralph, Lord Pithy, Lsig, and Steev.  Awesome questions folks!  Onto the questions:
 
1.  What is the “real” difference between piracy and letting someone borrow the DVD?

 The “real” difference is the number of potential simultaneous instances of usage.  When one borrows a DVD, the lender is incapable of watching whilst it is lent, whereas when an illegal copy can be viewed by multiple people simultaneously.

 2.  Would piracy be a problem at all if the cost of a movie/album wasn’t inflated by ridiculous promotional costs?

 Piracy becomes less of a problem when obtaining a legal copy becomes easier and relatively cheaper than pirating the material.

3.  Isn’t it better for piracy to exist for those starting out, as they might reach more fans and become more of a commodity?

It is better for people just starting out to make their material as available as possible. That being said, when pirates say, “You should thank me for giving you exposure.” They are just stealing and then attempting to not feel guilty about it.

4.  How can it be stopped at all if the hackers are better at uploading it and copying it and the nations most involved don’t care or even encourage it?

Digital piracy will never truly be stopped.  It can only be mitigated.  The best method of mitigation is to make the media easy to consume and relatively inexpensive.

5.  What do you think the most pirated works typically are?

US produced media in foreign countries.

6.  What is your Pirate name?

Bad Rum Piggy

7.  Complete the following sentence: “I be the Pirate _______, and this be _____, me ________.”

“I be the pirate navigator, and this be Cheryl, me sextant.”

8.  Honestly, isn’t this the greatest movie ever!?

You have seen movies before, right?  No.  This is no where near the best.

9.  What would you name your pirate ship?

Air Force One

10.  If you could plunder the halls of knowledge and claim one idea as your own, what would it be?

Bread, and I would copyright that shit, so everyone who makes bread would either pay me a licensing fee or eat pirated bread. mmmm pirated bread….

11.  Why do North American and European civilians persist in sailing in waters controlled by Somali pirates?

They own a boat which seems to denote a certain amount of privilege.  Sometimes privilege = dumb.  I define “sometimes” as “often.”

12.  What do you think accounts for the prevalence of software piracy from China? Is it a difference in societal perceptions of property? A sheer numbers game? Or is it just a stereotype that the Chinese will rip and backward engineer anything?

I think some of the Chinese pirating is due to non-distribution in China of US media. Some of it is a sheer numbers game and some of it was stereotyping.  

13.  Disney channel now has a show called “Jake and the Neverland Pirates” in which the cute little pirate kids are the good guys. Do you find this as morally questionable as I do? (the show isn’t terrible, as far as these things go).

Those pirates can count… The biggest issue I have with that show is the pirate on pirate violence.  I mean if pirates can’t get along, how can we expect our kids to get along.

14.  Where do pirates get their remarkably elaborate coats and hats? Is there a Pirates R Us store in the Barbary Coast or something? (sub-question - aren’t elaborate coats and plumed hats remarkably impractical shipboard attire?)

Pirates are not all dressed up like dandies.  It is primarily the officers on the pirate ships that are super dandies.  Pirate officers are all fashionistas… the crew… much more like Abercrombie and Fitch models… wait a a second… the whole Barbary Coast pirate scene all makes sense now…

15.  Define “Arrrrgh”.

It is an interjection that means “yes, I agree with your sentiment.  Well said.”

16.  “The Pirates Of Penzance” - Were Gilbert and Sullivan pirates of a different sort (wink wink nudge nudge)?

That is a possibility.  However, it is important to remember that in the late 1800’s, there was not tons of show business going on.  So, it would be akin to just making the assumption that everyone in TV is a different sort of pirate (wink wink nudge nudge).

17.  Ice Pirates starred Anjelica Huston, Ron Perlman, Bruce Vilanch and John Carradine, which one really shouldn’t be on any list of actors?

You forgot Robert Urich in that list, but Bruce Vilanch is definitely the one that doesn’t belong on the list of actors.  Bruce Vilanch should never be on camera, even for interviews about the other productions on which he wrote.

18.  If you were a pirate, what would your nickname be?

If we are talking about one of the wink wink nudge nudge pirates, I have it on good authority that it would be Scotia, or Rhine-Stone.  

19.  Did Captain Hook get his name from his prosthetic or his abilities on the basketball court?

Well captains with only one leg were not called Captain Peg-Leg (a la Captain Ahab), so I can only imagine Captain Hook gets his name from his Kareem-esque hook shot.

20.  Do you know any good pirate jokes?

Good ones? Do I have any good jokes?  Nope.  Nada.  Nunka.  You’ve read this thing before, right?

To recap:
Everyone please, don’t become pirates
Regardless of how much you want to see Avatar
No reason to pirate that movie
Especially if you want to see that M Night Shyamalan “Last Airbender” travesty
How could they mess up that cartoon so badly?
They could have just strung together 4 episodes of the cartoon and it would have been better
I work with the angriest man in the world
Seriously, his bile could eat through metal with his unbridled anger
Bilious anger, bilious vehement anger
It is like the fire of a thousand suns
The fire of a thousand suns going super-nova
We had the Skillet Meaty Lasagna from the Cooks Illustrated: the Best Skillet Recipes
Amazi-yums
Man, I need to get more sleep
Have a great weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 188 - Goals

So, the wife ran her marathon this weekend.  She did the marathon in 4 hours 35 minutes and 23 seconds.  She is a badass.  She sped up from mile 15 to mile 26… passing tons of people around mile 17. So, the wife accomplished her goal.  Which leads me to today’s topic of “Goals.”  Everyone knows what they are, and everyone sets them.  So lets hear some questions about “Goals.”
 
Thanks this week go to Chris Corrigan, Nadolny, Brett Wood, Lord Pithy, Reilly Brown, Steev, Some Other Guy, Wifey, and Mimma.  Onto the questions!

1.  Why do you think goals are better than questions?  

Questions have their place.  I find that questions are a nice thing to model over arching themes for one’s life, but the open ended nature of questions make actions harder to determine.  Goals allow for the creation of action plans. 

2.  What happens if you should, by some strange coincidence, achieve your goals?

You pause, and then create new and better ones.

3.  Your favorite sport is soccer (I think), is the goal your favorite part of the game, or is the moving back and forth (ok, yeah, I don’t know what it’s called) your favorite part or is there a part I haven’t recognized?

I love most aspects of soccer, so I dig the back and forth probing of the offenses and defenses, the exploiting of weaknesses and the tactical match up between teams, but I have to say the lead up to and the scoring of the goal is always a fun thing to watch.

4.  What’s on your bucket list of goals for life?

Duh, immortality

5.  I don’t like soccer but I do enjoy when the announcers yell goal, do you enjoy that as well?

Eh, not so much. Andres Cantor is the guy who made it “popular.”  Now all the other “Gooooooooooooal” calls are just mimics who haven’t branched out on their own to define their own style.

6.  What is the goal of your blog?

I just want to entertain some people and myself.

7.  How awesome would it be if someone followed you around to scream, “Gooooooooooooooooal!!!” every time you accomplished a task?

I would have much better goals and more goals as well.  I would be doing anything and everything in my power to put check marks by the items on my to do list, and then ripping my shirt off and sliding into the corner of the conference room in celebration.

8.  Would you enjoy work more or less if there were a giant lighted scoreboard?

Depends on who I am up against that day.  There are some people I would never want to be compared to productivity wise /cough/ my wife /cough/.

9.  Have you ever set a goal, accomplished said goal, and felt a little let down by the experience?

Of course.  One of the issues that one hopes to run into is the eventual disappointment of success…  didn’t fill in the hole that you thought it would, did it?

10.  What is your most unrealistic goal from childhood that you still, against all hope, hold onto?

I think I still haven’t completely given up hope of getting some art published for profit in one of the major comic book labels.

11.  Do you ever make a list of super-easy goals just so you can feel better at the end of the day? Give examples

Breathe, Eat lunch, Say “Hello” to coworkers, Shower… I have no idea what you mean… I am quite the success…  well, except for the whole “Shower” thing

12.  What were your goals for yourself as a child, and how have those goals changed as you grew?

Since I was really young (around 5-ish) I have wanted to do things with my art… For example, as a pre-teen kid I wanted to save hot pre-teen girls from maniacal super villains using my artistic skills.  I never really figured out the details on that one, I was 12, what do you want from me.  Now, I want to save super models from nefarious madmen using my artistic skills.  Again, the details on this goal are hazy at best.

13.  What goals have you achieved, failed, or abandoned over time?

Goal Achieved: I am for the most part a happy person
Goal Failed: I did not go as far with my soccer as I once wanted
Goal Abandoned: Self powered flight…. I am not an aeronautical engineer with unlimited resources.

14.   At what point does one decide that a goal is unattainable?

I think when the capabilities are completely gone.  For a good long while I felt like getting some art published was unattainable due to the deterioration of my drawing skills, but reapplying myself to art and the new democratization of the publishing industry, it might be attainable now.  on the other hand, playing soccer professionally is completely out of the question now, for I am too old, too decrepit, and too unskilled for that to be an option.

15.  How do you know if a goal is based in reality or is simply your ego telling what is possible (think bad singer on American Idol)?

Full disclosure here:  I have never watched even one minute of American Idol, but I think I know what you are getting at. I think the only way to have that is to have a strong and realistic support system around yourself.  You have to have a friend that you believe who will tell you that you are out of your frakking mind if you want to pursue a particular goal.

16.  How do you decide at what cost you are willing to achieve a goal?

That is all relative.  There are monks out there self-immolating for the goal of a free Tibet, and who is to say what cost is too much.  There is nothing that I “would leave on the field” if the goal were the continued safety and health of my family, for example.  However, there are limits to my efforts where the goal of self-flight is concerned.

17.  Is it a coincidence that the Olde English word “gaol” (meaning “jail”, or “to jail”) is so similar in spelling to “goal?”

I think some people are “locked into” their goals and “trapped by” their goals so the simple vowel shift is interesting, and some instances, rather un-ironic.

18.  What was your last big goal?  What is your next big goal?

hmmmm… I cannot say that I am super goal oriented, as you can probably tell by my answers.  I would have to say that my last achieved goal was to get some art published.  I have some work published with a small game publishing company and with an independant author.  My next big goal?  I would have to say is more associated with getting back down to a reasonable level of fitness and weight.  It is time for me to be serious about my health.

19.  What is the secret of creating a good goal?

I think reasonably attainable is the biggest one.  Yes, goals should stretch you in ways that you never thought possible, but they should be, overall, attainable.  I think over-all, all-encompassing goals should be able to be chopped up into quantized bite-size attainable goals.

20.  What is your next step to attaining an overall goal, without giving away the goal itself?

More juice.

To recap:
Our 3 year old is hopped up on goof-balls, right now
Orapred, Tons of Xopenex, Azithromycin, and Benadryl cocktails
She is riding the Dragon right now
And the Dragon is a fickle beast
She.
Is.
Out.
Of.
Her.
Mind.
The house is a wreck
But my wife finished a marathon this weekend
She is a badass
I am rather tired
I have a couple of interviews going right now, but I am open to others…
E-mail me or leave a comment and we can make this happen

20 Questions Tuesday: 187 - Marathon

Well, I have decided to eschew the convention surrounding today and not make this post about Valentine’s Day.  Suck it Valentine’s day!  
 
This Sunday the lovely Wifey will be running a marathon in Austin, TX.  She has been training for 18 weeks, and the past 2 weeks, it has been many a topic of conversation. So, this week’s topic is the all encompassing topic of Marathon!
 
Thanks this week go to Brett Wood, Guido, Capt McArmypants, Chris Corrigan, Nadolny, and Steev.  Thanks for the questions!  Onto the questions:
 
1. I’ve heard you have to put tape over your nipples or else while running they will burn or get shredded or something while running marathons, is this true?

 Some people do still tape off the nips to keep from have bloody trails down their chest. The friction over 26 miles could definitely rub a nip raw.  So, to answer the question, Yes, it is true.

 2. Why would anyone ever want to run a marathon, well with cars bikes and what not, what is the point nowadays?

 I. Have. No. Idea.

3. I’ve always wondered what compels people to run, well what compels people to run?

It is a simple method of exercise.  Truly all you need to have to do this exercise is potentially shoes, but there is a barefoot movement going on in the running circles right now.

4. Are these people running really running away from things on a psychological level as well?

I asked my wife this and she nervously changed the subject and laughed a little maniacally.  I am obliged to say “no” though…. You can put the knife down now, Honey.

5. What is so enticing about running anyways?

It is a time to not be connected to the Internets, it is potentially a time in one’s life where a person could completely un-plug and be unavailable.  That seems like a good idea, so does a nap.

6. Have you ever run a marathon?  If not, now that your wife is about to do one, do you think you ever will?

If I can get my feet to not hurt when I run, I might train up for a half. I can honestly say that I am not super interested in a marathon. That being said, I cannot say with complete certainty, “Nope.”

7. Does your wife still have all of her toenails?

She sure does. After one long run in the training, she had some bruising under one toenail, but a switch in shoes took care of that.

8. Having run one myself, I empathize with the training effort.  Has she tried to force the rest of the family to eat better and exercise more than in the past?

She really wants me to start running. She talks about is constantly, “When you start running we’’l do…” “After you start running, there will be…” “Get off your lazy ass and start running already, so we can….”

9.  So in Marathon Man you envision a young Dustin Hoffman for that role:  a)  Did you read the book?  b) Is that what you envisioned for that character?  c) He still did a hell of a job didn’t he?  d) Princess Bride is better, but what is your favorite Goldman film?

a) Never read it
b) um… sure?
c)Hoffman rarely does poorly… although, Mumbles from Dick Tracy comes to mind
d) A toss up between his novel and screenplay for A Princess Bride and the screenplay for A Bridge Too Far.

10. So 26 miles seems pretty epic, but at the same time. The underlying story is that the guy dies after announcing victory.  a) What’s the hurry?  I mean aren’t you pretty much announcing: “Nothing to worry about. We won.” b) Then he died? WTF??!?!? Sounds like someone neglected their cardio?

Sit back folks, it is about to get all historical up in here…
a) The Athenians were fighting off the Persians only 40km away from Athens.  The issue was that the city was going to start evacuating and razing the city in a slash and burn program in 2 days to ensure the safety of as many citizens as possible and deny the Persians shelter and fodder.  Time was of the essence to make sure that process didn’t start up and create famine conditions for the city.  He had to get back as soon as possible.
b) Many people do not realize that Pheidippides had run 150 km the previous 2 days prior to the day of the battle, and only ran the last 40 km from Marathon to Athens on the third day of running.  He also did this in all his gear, which while not as heavy as what the Hoplites used, was still much more cumbersome than what people run in today.  His cardio was boss, yo.

11. So not to brag, but I have run so many marathons I can honestly not count them….about 8 years ago.  Now I wear a knee brace and take aspirin before going to get my mail.  When did you body start falling apart and when did you face reality that it had actually fallen apart.

Firstly, I can count on 0 hands how many marathons you have run. Even for the Olympic marathonners, running a marathon is not a minor feat, but to the heart of the question, until I am worm’s meat, my body is still “falling apart” and has not finished and hit the state of “fallen apart.”

12. Mad props to your wife!  However, I have actually gone running with your wife and I…. how can I say this…..did not predict this interest.

She is very much a non-traditional runner, but she is very consistent.

14. Have you chosen to follow suit?

Nope, I need to get a podiatrist to help out with my shitty feet first.

15. So what is the longest thing you’ve ever done?

I backpacked 56 miles over a 9 day trek in New Mexico when I was 14.  The Boy Scouts was a good organization once, it is too bad that it has not changed with the modern era.  A bit too antiquated in their thinking within that organization now.

16. Also Marathon is in Greece.  Have you ever been to Greece?  If not, what will you do there when you finally go?

I have not been to Greece.  If I go there, I am sure I will try to see some of the more historical tourist traps

17. Also, Panithinaikos or PAOK?  Careful  Your answer here matters!

I am so unknowledgeable of Greek footy that I cannot, in good faith, answer that question.  Sorry… or λυπημένος

18.  Marathon man the movie. Please discuss.

A very convoluted diamond conspiracy plot movie, where the main protagonist is a grad student… It is like a grad student’s fantasy… running through the park and then wrapped up into international conspiracy. In truth grad student life is sitting at a table hoping that snails mate, fish molt, algae blooms, lasers focus, data aligns, students don’t show up for office hours, the library has the book, (insert your own boring grad student task here).

19. Marathon Bar the candy. Please discuss.

Braided chocolate and caramel… how can you go wrong?  Oh, clearly you can go wrong because the Marathon Bar was discontinued in the US in 1981… is that Return of the Jedi’s fault?  You decide.

20. How many words can you make out of the letters in “Marathon?”

204

To Recap:
Happy Valentine’s Day
If you believe in that happy horse-shit
I have been drinking much more water lately
I have been feeling much better
Clearly I have been dehydrated
Now I have to pee all the time
Hydration = peeing
My pee is clear as glacial melt water though
It is warmer, of course
Not that I have touched it
Umm…. Disregard that last bit of information
Well, the last two bits of information
Completely disregard those
Send positive running energy to Austin, TX Sunday morning
I will post details about the marathon next week
Have a great weekend

silentworldpilot: more examples

Deadpool by Reilly Brown.

20 Questions Tuesday: 186 - Reilly Brown

I have the wonderful opportunity to ask 20 questions to comic book artist par excellence, Reilly Brown.  Reilly draws for one of the big comic book companies (Marvel) and has had the opportunity to draw many iconic superheroes doing weird and wacky stuff.  His lines are super slick and he has a refreshing clean, very technically precise drawing style.  His technical and mechanical drawings are very precise and enviably accurate (when he draws an M-14 or a HK G36, it is clearly correct) , but where I think he really shines is with his characters’ facial expressions.  I always look forward to seeing the life he puts into his characters and the realism he infuses into his books.  Anyway… Reilly is one of the founding members of Ten Ton Studios and has used Ten Ton to launch a rather impressive career so far in the comic book field.  He is still young and will hopefully be doing this for a good long time.
 
Enough of my ribble rabble, on to the questions:

 
So, Let’s kick this off. Question 1: How many comic book conventions do you want to go to every year? and how many comic book conventions do you end up going to?

A lot!  Let’s see, last year I ended up going to C2E2, Wizard World Philly, SDCC, Baltimore Comic Con, NYCC, and I also went to Acme Comics FCBD festival.  I also did a few signings at comic stores in between those.

Between April and October I try to go to only one convention a month.  I always hear about more conventions that I’d like to go to, but it’s easy to get swept up in all the cons, and it does start to cut into my work schedule. I might try to go to a few more than usual this year, though, since it’s a good way to get the word out about Power Play.

Hol-ee Crap!  That is a goodly amount of cons to get to every year.  You have added 7 cons or about 6 weeks of travel to your schedule that gets in the way of your work production schedule.  That seems a bit counter productive.  This leads me to wonder….So, as a fanboi, I know what I get out of going to a comic book convention Question 2: What do professional comic book creators get by going to cons?

Besides meeting fans and drinking with other comics creators that don’t like in the same city as me, conventions are a great place for a comics artist to make a decent profit in just a few days.  Especially in these more lean times.  Doing sketch requests and selling prints and any self-published stuff we have is a great way to make some extra income, and a lot of times it came make all the difference.

Also, I really like doing panels at conventions.  I don’t do many of them, but it’s a lot of fun to have that back and forth with the fans and let them in on what’s going on behind the curtain.

Question 3: at these cons, is there a creator that you have met that you have been absolutely star struck by?  If so… who?  And if not, who would you be star struck meeting within the comic book industry?

Ha, yeah, Jim Lee.  Growing up, he was my absolute favorite comic artist.  I don’t know how many times I read and re-read his X-Men comics when I was a kid.  At San Diego Comic Con a couple years ago I was invited to the after-party in his hotel room, and when I tried to talk to him I was just a stammering idiot!  ”Th-th-thanks for inviting me Jim~ I always liked your stuff~ uhhhh, I’ll see you later!”
Totally lame!  Hopefully I made such a weak impression that he won’t remember me!

The only other comics creator that I anticipate would get me star struck would be Stan Lee.  I haven’t met him yet, but man, I’d love to!

That is awesome. I would love to be able to casually chat with Jim Lee. He is one of the few people out there that actually changed the look and feel of comics. Question 4: This is a question that I ask most of the creative types that I ask questions. Do you have any hobbies for when you are not pushing out pages or at cons (you know, for your three hours of downtime a year)?

Not really.  I’m always working on some kind of project.  If I’m not working on a comic where the pages are due immediately, then I’m trying to to get a pitch for a future project together or else I’m doing some kind of promo for that project.
The only things I do outside of that that people don’t see publicly are, going to figure drawing sessions or going to the movies.
I’ve also got a bunch of video games form the past five years that I haven’t even played for more than five minutes!

It sounds like you don’t have much “down time” in what you have described then, and since drawing is primarily an individual pursuit… Consider the following set-up, where an introvert is someone who “re-charges” their “battery” by being alone, and an extrovert is one who “re-charges” their “battery” off the energy of others. In this case I do not mean introvert as someone who is not out-going or fun at parties and extrovert as someone who is quiet and wants to constantly be alone.  For example, my wife tends to be very gregarious and interactive in groups of people, but needs time to herself to recharge. Question 5: Do you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert using the previous definitions of introvert and extrovert.  

I'd say I'm an introvert.  I frequently prefer to work by myself than go out with people.  That said everyone needs balance.  Being by yourself too long will drive anyone crazy.

…and on a completely different tangent (‘cause that’s how I roll).  You would be surprised how revealing this question ends up being… Question 6: Pie or Cake? If pie, what kind is best? and if cake, what kind is best?

Ice cream cake.  That shit is the best!  Especially when it has the little crunchy chocolate bits in it. Yummm!

That’s why I like you Mr Brown.  Out of the box thinker.  Great answer! So Ice cream cake takes the sweets category, but… Question 7: would you choose savory over sweet? Some people don’t have a sweet tooth, are you one of those people? If so, what savory food defeats the ice cream cake? (multi-part, long form questioning here. It is hard hitting questions like this that make me a badass blogger)

NOTHING defeats ice cream cake.
Ice cream cake is invincible.

Cheesecake for me.  I would sacrifice someonelse’s baby for some cheesecake. I wouldn’t sacrifice my own.  I am not a monster.

Ooooh, one of my favorite questions coming up, I love this one.  As you might have read all my other interview 20 Questions I was born in Oklahoma City, moved to Montgomery, Alabama, then to Birmingham, Alabama, went to school in Kent, Ohio and landed finally in Columbus, Ohio.  Question 8:  What is your geographic story?

I was born in Montclair, NJ, and moved to Virginia Beach when I was 16 and finished high school there.  Then I went to college at Virginia Commonwealth University where I studied illustration.  After that I moved back to Virginia Beach for a while, to save up some money waiting tables and getting my portfolio together.  Then I moved back to Montclair, started working professionally as a comic artist, and then to Hoboken, NJ where I currently live.

So when you moved back to Jersey, you moved closer to/within the megapolis… Question 9: Why move closer to the city instead of the cheaper outskirts?

Opportunities, my man!  I realized pretty quickly that there were no publishers in Virginia, and that it was hard to get an interview somewhere if you don’t live anywhere near their office.
Now it’s true, one of the benefits of being an artist is that I can do my job from anywhere I want to be, but it’s easier to stay in the editors consciousness if you can pop in and out of the office form time to time.

Also, there are more women in the city ;)

That is actually a bit of advice that most people would not listen to in this day and age.  It really is important to have face to face time with decision makers.  Good on you for making that happen.

So, back to the artistic kinds of question, because that is what I am mercurially interested in right now… I hate drawing feet, but I don’t mind drawing them as much as I dislike drawing backgrounds.  Question 10: What piece of human anatomy still vexes you every time you have to draw it, and is that the thing you hate to draw the most, or is there something else?

I draw people so often that human anatomy really isn’t that big of an issue, and any time it does cause me promblems it’s pretty easy to find reference in a mirror.  The thing that I have the hardest time with, and you’ll notice a lot of artists mention this as a problem, is cars and trucks and vehicles like that.  Helicopters are the worst! The problem with that type of thing is that they have specific designs and their own anatomy, but since they’re mechanical you can’t be as loose with them as you can with people or animals.  You really have to be precise, and they have to line up with established perspective and vanishing points and things like that.  It’s a hassle every time!

and yet, that seems like one of your particular strengths.  I have always enjoyed the amount of precision that you put into your physical/mechanical objects. Keeping with the artistic theme here…

Question 11: You advocate using reference to make your drawings more accurate… and you are part of a studio with a couple other artists.  Do you ever make them fight, so your action scenes are more realistic?

Well, the reason you like my mechanical stuff and i don’t might be the same— the fact that i spend so much time with it!
And about my studio mates, No, I only make them fight for my cynical amusement!

You are a cruel and fickle god… It is too bad you cannot get your studio-mates to photo ref your climactic battle scenes.  That would be super fun.  Speaking of studio mates… Question 12: What is the name of your studio? Who is in your studio? How did that come to be?

I share an art studio in Brooklyn with a bunch of other comic book artists— George O’Connor, Joe Infurnari, Jason Little, James Smith, and Michale Horwitz.  The studio’s called Hypothetical Island, which is based on George’s frequent survival-based riddles asking if we were shipwrecked and had a choice between two island, each containing a horrible fate, which would we choose.  And no, you’re not allowed to drown yourself in the middle!
We all got together because after working alone from home for a few years I started to go a little crazy.  It’s definitely nice to be able to work in the same place as other artists— even if it’s these guys!
Heh, nah I’m just kidding, they’re not so bad.

Also, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention my online studio, Ten Ton Studios, which I know you’re familiar with, Scott.  Ten Ton is a message board I helped found with other comics artists such as Khoi Pham, Chris Burnham, and Jason Baroody when we were first breaking into the comics industry.  Organizing other artists together like that was a great way to get organized for conventions and network.
A lot of people have come and gone from Ten Ton over the years, but the current lineup is Aaron Kuder, Charles Wilson, Nick Pitarra, Doug Hills, Steve Willhite, Chris Burnham, Khoi Pham and myself.

Hypothetical Island is a great name for a studio.  Much better than the early 2000’s graphic design names like Chrome Orangutan, or Disgruntled Ferret Designs etc…

Question 13: If the cats at Ten Ton were all more local, do you think all of you would have become a “real studio” instead of the online/virtual one it became?

Probably.  That’s what I would have liked, in any case.
Some of the guys frequently talk to each other over Skype while they work, which can be kind of fun.

Question 14: So, if you were not able to work on comic books professionally, what was your fallback profession?  I mean, Khoi could always go back to lawyering, and Burnham could go back to selling his plasma and running numbers for the mob, what would have been your option 2?

If I wasn’t doing comics I’d still be doing art of some sort.  I’d probably pursue a career in tv or video games, or book illustration of some sort.  Just because I wasn’t doing comics doesn’t mean I’d stop drawing.

I distinctly remember when I was five, drawing one of my many many fighter jets, when I was able to draw a little tiny pilot’s helmeted head inside the cockpit of the plane.  It was like a peel of thunder went off in my head… I love doing this.  I love drawing… When I was about 12 or 13 I remember thinking, “Hey, not only am I enjoying the fuck out of drawing, but I am pretty good at this too.” (I was a filthy mouthed/minded 6th and 7th grader)

Question 15: When did you get the drawing bug?  How old were you when you realized that you loved doing it, and then how old were you when you realized you were good at it?

I “got the bug” when I was in kindergarten.  I remember me and my friends drawing Star Wars characters at nap time and I drew a Darth Vader that was particularly cool.  After that I was always the class artist.

Darth Vader?  Awesome. It is amazing how notions will set in and set in so strongly at such an early age.

I asked DDG this and he got input from people he knew, and I found that delightful. Hopefully, you can have some people fill in this blank for you.  Question 16: Fill in the blank… “I am mostly ________”…. and go!

I asked a bunch of people and they all said “independent.”  ;)

HA!  Brilliant!

Question 17: So would you say there is a wide discrepancy between how you view yourself and how others view you? Why or why not?

Geez, man, I have no idea what’s going on in other people’s heads!  I think I’m pretty straightforward, though, so people probably have a pretty good idea about who I am.  Actually, online sometimes I worry that I come across as a little more severe than intended.  That’s partially my sense of humor, and partially just because I like to be clear with what I’m saying because in writing it can be easy to miss out on people’s intent, so I might come off as a little patronizing.  Also I don’t like to use emoticons to point out when something’s a joke— if you have to say “this is a joke” then you’ve ruined it!
I’ve gotten into a lot of arguments by making hilariously dead-pan jokes that people have taken too seriously.  
I’m pretty sure that’s how Ten Ton started.  I said “We should make a message board so that everyone can read our brilliant insults at Jay Baroody’s expense and join in on mocking him!”  Someone took that WAY too seriously!

I will agree that sometimes your sense of humor does not translate well to the Internet. Some of the nuance in the dryness of your delivery is lost and seems more cutting than playful.  That being said, you give, quite possibly, the most insightful and cogent online critiques I have ever seen. The time you take to thoroughly and completely review people’s online work is truly remarkable and you should be commended for this.

Trunabout is fair play… Question 18:  Anything you want to ask me?

Maybe you misunderstand my sense of humor— I think it’s hilarious to make grown men cry.  That’s also the driving desire behind my critiques ;)

Anyway, yeah, there is something I wanted to ask you— after interviewing so many people, from so many random walks of life, I was wondering if you’ve noticed any interesting commonalities in how they answer certain questions, or any surprising differences.

Number 1: I think I understand your humor just fine.  I am all about the “funny over nice” paradigm.

Number 2: In answer to your question…

People are more willing to answer surprisingly intimate questions than I would have thought, and no matter who I talk with, the person is way more introspective tan anyone would have thought.  I have not found any consistent differences in people answering questions.  I have noticed, however, how difficult it is to ask interesting questions without repeating too many of them.  I have a bevy of questions (geographic history, ask me a question, and the last 2 questions) that are the same for everyone.  I guess the only thing that is similar for everyone is the candid responses and that no one is the same.

Question 19: So are you taking anything away from this 20 Questions that you did not bring to it.  Have your learned anything about yourself or just learned anything during this lengthy conversation?

Yeah, I learned what a nosy s.o.b. you are!
But really, I do enough interviews that I’ve answered most of these questions before, in one form or the other, so there weren’t really any surprises.
Sorry if that answer’s not as interesting as you were hoping for!

Really?  I have not done my job correctly then.  Seriously, someone has asked you the “Cake or Pie” question?  Man, I am losing my touch.  Typically I ask “What is next for you?” for Question 20, but I KNOW that you have been asked that, so to “out of left field” this last question…

Question 20: As alternate fuel sources become available in 1st world nations, and our consumption of less and less petroleum based fuel continues to rise, there will inherently be a stronger economic pressure asserted on the OPEC nations purely through the Keynesian dynamics of Supply and Demand. What effect do you see this external economic pressure having on the mid-east?

Heh, actually, just last week in the studio we had a Hypothetical Island question where one island had an infinite supply of cake, and one island had an infinite supply of pie.  Now you know which island I chose!

As for the future of the Middle East, heh, there’s a lot of people who wish they knew that, aren’t there?


Alternate sources of fuel will be a major blow to countries like Iran, which have leaderships that like to aggravate the Western countries.  They know that they can get away with a lot because on some level we HAVE to deal with them as long as we rely so much on oil.  If we don’t need oil as much any more, it makes those countries less important, which will frustrate them and be a serious blow.  Then you have all those countries that have new governments after the “Arab Spring,” and they’re all wild cards.  Hopefully democracy will put them on a peaceful path and they will be willing to work with us, but they could also turn out to be a Hamas situation, where religious fundamentalists vote for terrorist organizations to head the government.
It’s kind of a crap shoot.
But either way, money talks.  You have a volatile region with new governments that are still organizing themselves and are yet to be defined, and amid a world-wide financial recession you have these insanely wealthy oil companies that have a stake in the outcome, and will feel threatened by any alternatives to their product.  That’s a pretty good recepe for some serious corruption.
Will the outcome of all this be anything significant, or just business as usual?

It’s impossible to know the future, but you might be able to get a pretty good idea about where we’re heading if you look to the past.  I subscribe to a theory that there are four different types of generations of people that repeat each other in a cycle.  Through their personality and actions, one will cause the next, which causes the next, until it starts over form the beginning again.  Each generation lasts about 20-22 years, give or take, and the whole cycle takes about 80-90 years to get through.  If you ever look at history in 80 year chunks, you’ll see that the situation’s kind of similar.  For instance you’ll often hear on the news that “we’re in the worst financial recession since the Great Depression,” which was 80 years ago.

Other things line up like that as well, like examples of heavy financial speculation, such as the sub prime-mortgage loans that got us into this recession came 80 years after the stock market boom of the 1920’s, which is 80 years after the gold rush of the 1840’s.  The Louise and Clark expedition of 1806 is 163 years before the first moon landing in 1969, and the heaviest period of Arctic exploration took place right between those in the late 1800’s.

"Four score and seven years" after the American Revolution, was the Civil War, and 80 years after that ended America was in WWII.
As we approach the 80th anniversary of WWII, it’s probably worth looking to see where the next major conflict is going to come from, and since the Middle East is currently in such turmoil, and since so many other countries have interest in how things turn out there, it’s as good a place to look as any.
But then again, there’s always North Korea, or China, or Venezuela, or….

Heh, so I don’t know, maybe it’s all just voodoo, but all creative people have their crackpot theories about one thing or another.  I guess this is my “Expanding Earth.”  :P

Thanks for the interview, man, it was fun!

No, Thank you for answering 20 Questions!

Seriously, if you want to see the future of comic books, get Reilly’s creator owned comic, Power Play, and for goodness sakes, get Comixology

To recap:

So, much ended up happening last week
The wife’s car got rear-ended causing $5600 in damage
It was not totalled, so the car at least used to be worth $5600
The whole fam-damnly got sick, of which the wife is just now recovering
Well… that isn’t as many things as I thought it was
So, make a note that the first part of this recap should have read, “A couple of things happened last week”
So, there was a SuperBowl this past weekend, and it was a pretty good game
If it were European football that score would have translated to 3 - 2 and been called a tactical counter attacking game
Back to our regularly scheduled posts next week
I only just started an interview and have no more in the bag, so to speak
Have a great weekend

20 Questions Tuesday: 185 - Steve Wilhite (aka Steev)

I started hanging out at the Drawing Board art forums waaaay back in 2006-ish.  I lurked around there for about a year before I posted.  There were a couple of artists I absolutely loved, and salivated whenever they posted their art.  There are 3 that I really waited with bated breath for any postings.  These three were Francesco Francavilla, Jason Baroody, and Steve Willhite, aka Steev.  Steve has a very unique style that is very fluid and graceful.  His lines have a great amount of variation to them, and his facial expressions are seriously better than pizza.  I have learned more by just looking at Steve’s work than he possibly knows.  In conjunction with his insane drawing ability is his really superior ability to make other people’s lines better with his inks.  Really, his work is stunning and one of the reasons I started drawing again.  To top all of that off, he is a wonderfully absurd person and delightful to interact with via the Internets.

Without further ado….  Onto the questions:

Question 1: How can myself and people like me who love your art make you a successful sequential artist such that you can quit your day job and live comfortably off the artist labors that you so richly deserve to live off of?

Wow. Before I answer your first question, I guess I should address the shining intro you gave me. Damn. I’m truly flattered and humbled. I’m happy that you and some other people like what I do but it’s really all just smoke and mirrors. You’ll have to ask me about that later (Ha! Who’s leading the interview now, sucka-foo?).

What will it take for me to draw comics as a full time job? Nothing short of winning the lottery. I missed the comic career boat about 20+ years ago. Honestly, I couldn’t afford to live on what comics would pay someone like me. With rent, insurance, utilities, medical, kids, misc. payments and retirement money coming out of whatever I make, my skill level and the amount of work I would produce wouldn’t cut it. That isn’t even taking into account the amount of time that I have to draw. My day job, family life and personal life don’t leave me a shit ton of time. The reality is: it’s a hobby. Someday maybe when I retire or even better – win the lottery, I could draw comics. I dunno. I have some stuff planned for this year that might head me in that direction. We’ll see.

That is a fair enough answer. I asked Dave Myers (ballpoint) this as well.  I love hearing the rantings of crazy people on what comic book stories are in their head….  One of these days I will share mine on the blogarooney.  Question 2: Is there a comic book idea out there that you would like to self publish. 

There are a couple of things that have been rolling around in my head. The one I’m actually writing is a story that revolves around where all the things that have just disappeared off the face of the earth have gone. The working title is “Someplace Else”. This idea had been tossed around since the 90’s and I think it might be time to do something with it.
The other idea is a fantasy comic about an old man at the end of his life retelling the stories that led him to where he is. This would be a big Cerebus sized story. I don’t know if I’ll ever even get started on it.
I’ll be trying these as webcomics even though I hate reading comics on a screen. I have no idea how to market them but I think it will be way easier than trying to get them in print.

Both ideas are killer.  I love the idea of your fantasy story, mainly because your style works very well in a fantasy setting.  Reminds me very much of Larry Elmore’s SnarfQuest.  Good lord, I am old.

So one of my favorite questions… as I have asked in all of these interviews I have had.  I was born in Oklahoma City, moved to Montgomery, AL, then to Birmingham, AL, went to school in Kent, OH and settled in Columbus, OH.  Question 3: What is your geographic story?

Alright, here’s my geographical story: born in San Bernardino, California, moved to Reno, Nevada when I was 5. Lived in the Reno area until I was 13 and then moved to Payette, Idaho. I stayed in the Payette area until I graduated high school and then moved to Portland, Oregon. Lived there for 10 years and moved back to Idaho. I’ve been all over the US and I like Idaho the best so this is where I will probably stay.

Question 4: What is it about Idaho that makes you want to stay? (I will avoid a hack joke about your love of potatoes)

LOL There’s not a lot of potatoes around here. This area produces mostly corn, onions and mint (and meth)(and Mormons).

The actual answer to your question is that it’s just a nice area. We live in the high dessert so the climate is mild. We have our 4 seasons without the crazy heat and humidity plus we don’t get 9 feet of snow in the winter. Crime is fairly low. There’s no hurricanes, tornados, floods or mudslides. Lots of rivers. Lots of mountains. Lots of wide open space. And it’s quiet.
I don’t  think I could live in a big city anymore. I like my space and pretty much can’t stand most people. I do miss the nightlife and cultural stuff that Portland had but in the end it was easy to give up.

The high desert is, indeed, beautiful.  I find amenities an absolute necessity, so, someplace completely remote would not work for me, but I do like visiting… Plus with the ethnic make up of my family, I think I need to live someplace a bit more diverse in its ethnicity.

Question 5: So, since comic book art is not paying your bills, what do you do to pay the bills?

I am the Quality Manager for a major canning company. I’m responsible for the quality and safety of the product. Here’s a fun fact: Botox, that stuff people inject into their face to eliminate wrinkles, is an abbreviation for Botulism Toxin. That’s the neurotoxin that kills you if you don’t process canned food correctly.
Ah well, that’s what I do. It’s not exciting but it does pay the bills.

It is amazing what some people will do for smooth skin.  I am always amazed, but not surprised by the lengths people will go to try and hold on to the last vestiges of youth that they can greedily get their hands on.  I am also amazed, yet unsurprised at how deluded those people are by thinking that they still look young after their drastic grabs for eternal youth.

Back to comics and you.  As I stated with Ballpoint in his 20 Questions, the first comic book that resonated with me was a Captain America from 80 and 81.  I was 6 years old, and wholeheartedly hooked.  In my conversations with other comic book people, all of us know the exact issue that really turned us onto the sequential art train. Question 6: What issue of what comic hooked you and would not let you go?

This should be an easy question to answer. But it isn’t.

When I was little all I wanted to do was draw newspaper comics. I first really noticed how cool the pictures in comic books were when I started reading the Kaluta and E.R. Cruz’ Shadow comics. I ate those up along with The Unknown Soldier and Wrightson’s Swamp Thing. That was the shit … until I ran across my Uncle Roger’s stack of Heavy Metal. Oh my God!!! 1970’s era Corbin, Moebius, cartoon violence and boobies! That was like discovering a whole new world where comics could do whatever they wanted. The first mainstream comic books that made me even consider drawing comics as a job was Mike Golden’s Micronauts and it wasn’t until I saw Vaughn Bode’s work that I knew what kind of comics I wanted to draw.
How’s that for an overly long answer to a really short question? I think I’ll start a blog and call it “Cartoon Violence and Boobies”.

That makes a ton of sense because your style is kind of a hybrid of strip cartoons and comic booky goodness. “Cartoon Violence and Boobies” should be the name of your memoir.  I would wait until you have fought more pirates AND ninjas… don’t take sides, Steve, don’t take sides.  Fight them both.

Question 7: Cake or Pie and what kind?

The only choice between cake and pie is which one first.
I love, love, love me some Tres Leches cake, It’s a Mexican Three Milk cake. OMG.
I’m also a sucker for a really good peach pie.

Ah, you are the first cake/pie switch hitter I have asked questions.  I can respect that. Tres Leches is absolutely sinful, almost so much so, that it is difficult to classify it merely as cake.  There needs to be a caegory like “Ultra-Cake” or “Uber-Cake” or something like that.  

++Editor’s Note: Ummm… somehow I forgot to ask a Question 8, so Look at a picture instead++

So, now that the cake/pie question has been deftly avoided, Question 9: Do you have any vices that yopu are willing to mention?  To get the ball rolling, I am addicted to my Green Mistress, Mountain Dew.  I just can’t quit the Dew.

You need to rethink the cake vs. pie question. That’s like bacon vs. ham. The answer is always going to be “Yes, please. I would love another helping.”

Wow, vices. I really don’t have any “vices” anymore. I don’t smoke. I don’t drink much and when I do I typically don’t get drunk. No drugs. I like to keep a girl in a pit in the basement but only every now and then. I don’t know. I’m kinda boring.
I love Diet Pepsi and I screw around on the internet too much. How’s that?

Diet Pepsi and an Internet addiction is valid.  The girl in the pit thing goes without saying.  As far as Internet addictions go, stay away from the Twitters, that will kill all your time.

Question 10: So without any serious addictions and vices, do you have any hobbies other than your art?

Let’s see…does masturbation count?
Seriously, I’m fortunate that Pami (my fiance) is a photographer that enjoys taking pictures of old falling down buildings, junk yards and odd crap like that so I go out on these fun outings with her. She takes pictures and I explore. Sometimes it’s like being a kid again. I’ll  take pictures of her taking pictures in places she’s not supposed to go. I have some good ones of her standing on the wrong side of “Danger: Hazardous Area” signs and whatnot.

We’ve also been going to classes on American Buddhism and have been attending the local temple.

Beyond that, I’m pretty damned boring.

There are worse hobbies to have, and for the record, masturbation does count.  These 20 Questions interviews don’t typically venture into spiritual, so this will be fun.  Question 12: So, what was the impetus for starting classes on American Buddhism?

Back in the 80’s, Pami and I were dating and we would go to the Obon Festival that was held at the local temple. 20+ years later and we start seeing each other again and thought it would be fun to go to the festival, maybe relive some old times. We’ve gone for the last 3 years and enjoyed the food, dancing, Taikoexhibitions, etc. We also sat and listened to the presentations that they give along with all that. We liked what they had to say and a lot of what they believe was already in tune with my own personal beliefs so when they asked if anyone would be interested in taking classes I signed us up. We’ve been going to classes since November and started attending services for about a month. It’s one of the things I really look forward to doing during the week. It adds a peaceful element to a hectic life.

In my understanding, Buddhism includes ideas of introspection and quieting one’s mind.  Question 13: So, do you have a personal meditative practice?

I really don’t. Zen Buddhists are big into the meditation thing.
I practice the Jodo Shinshu school of Buddhism. Shin Buddhism is the most widely practiced form. It focuses on being thankful, the interconnectedness of all things and being mindful of yourself and your human faults. The idea is you’re human and no matter how much meditating or self-denial you put yourself through, in the end you are still human and subject to your own ego and ignorance. There’s no escaping it so just be mindful of it and try to minimize it.
I feel like I should be handing out Watchtowers.

If you were handing out Watchtowers, you would not be assisting any form of Buddhism.  It is interesting, in my opinion, there has been a greater move towards mindfulness and introspection.  My indicators might also be skewed since I have started associating with more mindful folks in the past few years because of the Wifey.

Question 14:  Fill in the blank. “I am mostly _________.” …. And go!

Confused?

"Confused"  Hmmm…Question 15: What confuses you the most? …and don’t say magnets

That was just a dumb answer off the top of my head.
I do have an odd condition where if I’m in a room full of people or surrounded by a lot of activity, I really have to focus on the person I’m talking to or I get lost (more overwhelmed) by everything. It does lead to a fair amount of confusion on my part and sometimes upsets people because they think I don’t give a crap about what they’re saying. I have the same issue watching TV or a movie while someone is talking to me. I can’t do both.

My wife has that same issue with the TV and conversations… and I love her.  There may be a future for us after all.

Question 16: Do you find yourself at many large/loud social gatherings?

I’m  not sure about our future, dude. I mean, you’re married and I’m engaged. It wouldn’t be right.

Pami’s sister owns a bar so yes, I’m around lots of noise and people quite a bit. It really is bad because if I’m talking to someone and the rest of the table is having a conversation they expect me to know what’s going on. I don’t. I only know what it was I was saying to the one person I was talking to. People tend to think I’m ignoring them. One cool thing is, I don’t have any issues with public speaking (as long as they don’t talk back).

That explains all the bar pics in your facebook stream.  I guess you are not the lush I made you out to be.

Question 17: Do you think there is a large discrepancy between how you view yourself and how other perceive you?  Why or why not?

LOL In all those bar pics I’m never drunk. I don’t drink enough to get really intoxicated.

Wow. I don’t know. I suppose I would need to know how others perceive me. That would be something I could ask you. How do you think people view me? I truly don’t worry a lot about what other people think or at least try not to. So, I haven’t thought about it.  
Being “online friends” with a shit ton of people I try and do my very best to stay true to who I really am. I write in the same voice that I speak in. If you think I’m a jackass online then you would probably think the same thing if you met me in person.
Being true to who I am is important to me. I know a lot of people who are pretentious and act as though they are the end all, beat all of everything that there is and everything is better when they are there or when they did it. That’s not me. Reality is good enough.

Well turn about is fair play, (and you oddly mentioned it in your previous answer) so… Question 18: Anything you want to ask me?

Sure! You can’t turn on the TV anymore without seeing one politician talking shit about another one or dragging every stinking skeleton out of the closet. Does this help you determine the better candidate or does it just show that they all suck?

Here is the issue.  This kind of political mudslinging has been going on in the US ever since the second US Preseidential election.  The issue now is the relative permanance of people’s commments and the ease of access to those relatively permament comments.  It is not like politicians have not been deriding their competition, we just hear about it more consistently now…. and they all suck.

Question 19: Anytyhing that you are taking away from this 20 questions that you did not bring in?  Learn anything, realize anything? Anything?

I realized that I’m a pretty dull guy.

I have to strenuously disagree with how boring you consider yourself.  I found this conversation monumentally interesting… and going back and re-reading it, I really like this one.

Question 20:  What’s next for you? What do you want to be next?

Plan to be remarried this year. That’s going to be the biggest (and best) thing. LOL
Besides that? I dunno. I have sort of planned to stretch my wings a little more artwise. Take some time to work at trying new things and getting better at the fundamentals. I’d like to take an art class and push the hell out of myself, learn to color with Photoshop, stop avoiding perspective, get better at drawing the ladies and try new angles and lighting effects (which I also avoid). Let me know if you see any improvement.
I have the script for my part of FUBAR 3 so that is going to happen first. I have like 5 weeks to get it done. It’s gonna be fun.

Thanks! This was fun.

Seriously, the pleasure was all mine.

To recap:
I feel like crap today
Using 8 hours of sick-time
Go me
Go me to bed, damnit
Little Man was sick yesterday
Q is sick today as well as me
She is watching Wallace and Gromit
Crackin’ good toast, Gromit
One of the books Steve contributed to was on the NYT’s Best Sellers List
He truly is a badass
And only getting better
The house needs a good old fashioned cleaning
Anyone know how to clean old fashioned-like
I will be back at work tomorrow
It will be like I never left
I might have dodged a bullet by not making job 2 into job 1
More on that later as things unfold more publicly
I have insider knowledge, bitches
Have a great weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 184 - Disappointment

Things are moving rather slow between in the process of making job 2 into job 1. This makes me afraid that job 2 will not be mine.  Needless to say, that makes me a little bit on the disappointed side… if one defines “little bit” as “massively.” There is still an outside chance that I will be able to claim the job as my own and wear it like a title belt around my waist, but that chance seems to be waning with every passing day. So, I have seen happier days, but this allows for a great topic for a 20 Questions Tuesday… Lemons —> weakass lemonade.

Thanks this week go to Lord Pithy, TheMikeStand, Chris Ring, Some Other Guy, and Wifey for the 20 Questions….  Onto the questions!

1.  “I’m not mad, just terribly disappointed.” Does that make you feel better or worse?

You’re saying that does not affect me at all in the least. Now if you were my mom or my dad, and I were still a child (ooooh subjunctive tense).

2.  What was the most disappointing movie ever? If “Phantom menace” is your answer (and it probably is), be specific about what made it so disappointing.

Well, 20 minutes of pod-racing and midichlorians sums it up pretty well. Oh, yeah, and “Are you and angel?” Learn to write dialog, you insanely rich bastard.

3.  Describe a time when you tried to mask your disappointment. What methods did you employ?

Christmas gifts from my parents. I have done hours of voice training to keep disappointment/incredulity out of my voice when talking to them on the phone on Christmas Day. A weird Santa wall-hanging and crappy green vinyl tablecloth that reeked of tobacco come to mind as some of the biggest offenders.

4.  Have you ever purposely disappointed someone?

I cannot say that I have. I think there have been times that I knew my actions would disappoint someone, but those actions were not done to purposefully disappoint anyone in particular. The disappointment outcome was merely a unfortunate or happy side-effect (pending on the circumstances).

5.  Have you ever been disappointed in a good way?

Ummm…. That is contrary to the definition of “disappointing.”  So, not really.  However there have been times where something that was disappointing ended up being for the best down the road.  For example, I was 25 points away from scoring high enough on my SAT’s to get a full ride accelerated college experience at UCLA and skip my Senior year in high school…. At the time I was disappointed, but, now, happily married for almost 15 years and 2 wonderful kids into my life, it was best that I did not go to UCLA in 1991.

6.  When you’re experiencing disappointment, are you the type of person to wallow in it until you’re numb and you just gradually move on, or are you the type who attempts to see deeper into the opportunity that is given to you? And if the latter, I hate/envy you a little.

I want to be the latter, but I am just not Zen enough for that. I typically don’t wallow until I am numb, but I am a wallower.

7.  Many times utter disappointment is followed by “I need a drink”, what do you reach for? What’s your drink of choice to console yourself? (Yoohoo and / or Mountain Dew are okay answers, if that’s all ya got).

The Green Mistress (Mountain Dew), is a daily vice, so there is no consolation in that particular drink… I often console myself with a big thick vanilla milkshake.

++editor’s note: 2 people asked the very same question++

8.  Have you ever fallen off a horse? Did you “get right back up?” Cuz that seems silly. I mean, clearly that horse has it out for you.

I have only ridden 2 horses in my life. One was named Bastard and the other was Diablo… I did not fall off of either of them, but I was doing absolutely as much as possible to not fall off those particular horses…. They did have it out for me. They had it out for me because they both hated their lives and I was part of it for a brief moment. Bastard bit one of the wranglers that day… then he looked at me and flicked his ears. I got the message. Loud and clear, horse… loud and clear.

9.  Disappointment you shouldn’t have done
You couldn’t have done
You shouldn’t have done
The things you did then
And we could’ve been happy
What a piteous thing, a hideous thing
Was tainted by the rest
Aaaah, the Cranberries, what is your favorite song from the Cranberries other than “Disappoint?”

“War Child” lookit up, you young kids, and get off my lawn.

10.  One of my biggest disappointments as a child was that the Cubic Zirconium rings sold during TV commercials were not real diamonds that I could buy my mother.  How has your mother… the TV disappointed you?

There was this trip my family took to New Orleans one year, and my brother, an exchange student from Denmark, some local people my fam knew, and my mom… er, the TV wanted to go walking around the French Quarter. I have no idea why, but my mom… the TV didn’t want me to go, and made me stay back in the room with my dad. I got to watch a pre-season show on ESPN about the NFL team the St. Louis Cardinals (how is that for a timeframe)…. Stupid TV and her non-sensical rules

11. Bigger disappointment the aroma/taste ratio  of coffee, or the aroma/taste ration of mall food court pizza?

Gonna have to go with coffee on this one, Chuck. Coffee is always tastes like charred wood, while mall pizza is still crappy pizza.

12.  Disappointment and disapparate  - seemingly unrelated words that sound a lot alike.  Thoughts?

Well, disapparating isn’t really a word, so there is that. Seriously, it is only a word in JK Rowling’s world, so, that’s disappointing, isn’t it?

13.  “I wish I had a great disappointment, a real one.”  Nastassia Kinski.  Seriously, what must be the life story of someone who would say something so dumb?

Wow, that’s a real quote? Damn. I don’t think that she has such a gilded life as much as she has a brain of jelly and the judgement of a dead fish

14.

- I’m a fan of this motivational poster.  But I’m not Japanese.  Neither are you. No question, really.  Just an observation. 

Tsunamis suck… and not in that tingly good way either.

15.  Inevitably the newest Apple product is received with massive disappointment. Then they sell the hell out of it and we all wonder how we lived without it. (Case in point, my favorite new toy, the iPad). I personally think we all feign disappointment to cover our anger over having to shell out another $500 to The Man. Does Apple disappoint you? Are you covering for anger?

Actually the iPad has not really blown my socks off. It seems to have tons of potential, but I guess I just have not seen its utility just yet.

+++Editor’s Note: This post was written on an iPad+++

16.  Gender disappointment? Who knew?! Whatever happened to being glad the kid is healthy?

Sadly in this paternalistic society, it has been a long time since everybody was immediately happy with having a girl.

17.  More disappointing: stale cereal or spoiled milk?

Spoiled milk definitely. The stale cereal is only bland, while the milk is nasty.

18.  Are you disappointed with anything in this post?

So far I’m a bit disappointed with my answer to 16… I really could have brought more to that one… Histoic social commentary ain’t really bringing the funny, if you know what I mean.

19.  I once heard a guy in Philly say, “Bettah hurry up or yous gonna be late for dis appointment.” Is that even English?

That is, indeed, a form of English. Just like a Scottish brogue and a southern twang are English. What makes the English language (and Spanish {and to a lesser extent French}) super interesting is just how varied the language is because of how large a geographic actually speaks the language and how far the extremely distinct dialects are separated. 

20.  Why do parents consistently disappoint children?

Because children’s needs (beyond basic needs like food, shelter, and safety) are like a gas, they take up whatever room you give it. Keeping that in mind, that means that whatever room we give kids they fill with needs that we cannot match. Darn kids.

To recap:
So I grew up in Center Point, AL
The rents are fine
So is their property
Mom heard the tornado go overhead
She said it was loud
She did not, however, say that it sounded like a freight train
The “devastation” is kind of random
But in truth, the place had looked better
Dad had an appendectomy this weekend as well
My parents bring the drama
Wooooooo! Parents
Seriously, 67 years old and getting a gangrenous appendix
Oooh, I’m staying over night in the hospital and there’s a tornado
Oooooh, look at me, I’m in danger, will you pay attention to me now?
Jeebuis, Dad, we’re looking at you
I misspelled disappointment 47 times during this post
One “s”… just one “s”
Have a great weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 183 - Aaron Kuder (aka DDG)

It is a new week and a new 20 Questions Tuesday is ready for your prying eyes. This week I have had the pleasure to interview Aaron Kuder, and up and coming comic book artist.  Seriously, he is badass and gonna be famous.  He has worked on the book “Amory Wars” and can be found pencilling and inking the soon to be published “Key of Z,” a bad-ass zombie book (a book about zombies, not a book that has risen from the dead craving man-flesh).  I once met Aaron outside a mall north of Columbus, Ohio and ate in the mall’s food court talking shop.  It was awesome.
 
So without further ado… onto the questions!
 

So, we met just north of Columbus, Ohio while you were on a cross country move… Question 1: Where were you coming from and where were you going to .
 

I was in Fayetteville, Arkansas. I have some family/friends there and had been there to grunt my way through this ” economic downturn”. Which I did, and now I am living in Ithaca, New York.. Seriously beautiful area. I went through high school here and end up moving back just as much as I move away… Which also happens pretty often. I like to travel.
 

Question 2: If economic and political constraints were not an issue, where would you want to travel to immediately the most?

 Whoa… big question. That’s like a kid in a candy store, where do you start? Immediately? Well, I have a bunch of friends that are scattered all over the world.. Sri Lanka, UAE, Turkey, Greece, South Korea, etc etc.. I’d probably start with visiting them.. maybe not in that order though. If you’re wondering where I’d like to “settle down” thou? I truly hope I never find an answer to that question.
 

Question 3: That is visiting people, is there a geographic area that you would call your “go to” for rest and recouperation? For example, I would travel to some mountains at the drop of a hat.  Mountains rejuvenate me, whereas beaches are quite annoying to me.  

Friends, especially these friends, would rejuvenate the hell outta me. They’d fill me with food and drink, and pay me lots of complements. But to answer your question, no.. There isn’t one place that stands out more then another. I really like beaches and mountains, rivers and deserts.. The only thing that would sway me away from one place more then another is the number of people there… The more people the less likely I would want to go. So, that being said I guess I could eat my green eggs and ham most anywhere that’s not over populated.
 

I am a bit confused.  Let me ask a question to clarify, but first let me define before I question… anyway… for this purpose, let’s define an extrovert as someone whorecharges their battery by being around other people and an introvert as someone who needs to be alone to recharge thier battery.  You said that being around your friends recharges your battery, but you don’t want to be around large crowds… so Question 4: By the aforementioned definitions, are you an extrovert or an introvert?

 Hmmm, well I guess I wouldn’t define extrovert and introvert like that. I would say I’m an extrovert, but not because that’s how I recharge my battery, but because I don’t have a problem with “putting myself out there” so to speak. To clarify, I would be the guy that let’s his opinions be known, makes jokes, will go out on the dance floor when no one else is there, I’ll fill a room with my voice. And yet, at the same time, I’m not a fan of large crowds. Crowds and friends are different too.
When it comes to recharging my battery, it can be with friends or on my own. I love nature, but I don’t “need” it for a recharge. All I really need is to get away from the environment that’s wearing me down. And that can mean going for a hike or grabbing a beer with a friend.

So, I cannot stand crowds and need time to myself to recharge.  That being said, I also need, crave, yearn for good conversation, and must create some banter with good friends.  So I feel like I am a little of Column A and Column B in the introvert/extrovert scale.  
 
Question 5: Have you had any interviews by comic book industry/fansites/etc… yet?

Short answer… Yes. I’ve done a number of interviews with various websites… No podcasts yet, but a good number of interviews. Multiversity comics did a nice little piece about my artistic process, which was fun.
 

Oooh, I love stuff about process, but the fact that it is out there lets me know that these 20 questions need to steer away from the art track questions. Because, seriously, I cannot compete with the comic sites in that arena, but I can ask the questions that no one else will ask.
 
Question 6: I asked Khoi this as well… Did you get much push back from family and loved ones for deciding to chase the dream of drawing comic books? It is a difficult profession and, until one is established, it is not necessarily lucrative.  Did this difficulty manifest with dissaproval from the fam?

 I wouldn’t say anyone gave me any push back. Although I would have understood if they had. This job isn’t easy, and it takes a lot of your life away. I have very little time to spend with friends and family these days. My dad was a voice of reason, in that he was worried that the unstable nature of freelance work would end up being a disappointing experience.. and truth be told, freelance is really really tough sometimes. But all in all, whenever I asked any of my friends and family “if I should go for it”, they unanimously said “DUH!”
 

It is awesome when you actually get support from your support system. My support system now is strong, but the family of origin support…. eh.  it could be questionable.
 
Question 7: Speaking of the support systems… My mother-in-law has a family credo that she has bestowed upon my wife and myself.  It is a strong set of words to live by.  Do you have any creeds or mantras that you fall back on? The one I mentioned before is “Don’t let the fuckers get you down.”  Words to live by, baby!

Ha, that’s good. Nope, no credo, but maybe I should pick one up.. Couldn’t hurt right?

Well, a credo, or a motto, or a mantra is not necessarily a bad thing as long as it doesn’t rule your life… That’s why I think “Don’t let the fuckers get you down” works so well.  You are welcome to adopt this mantra as your own.  I am giving like that.

One thing I have found out about sequential art is that it takes all day and all night… every day and every night. Question 8: do you have any free time, and if you do, what do you do with it?  What does a DDG do with his free time?

Reorganize my life.. by the time I’m finishing up an issue, I’ve had to let a lot of the “little things” go. Like laundry, dishes, blaa blaa blaa..nothing too exciting.  When I’m not working on a book and I really have free time I spend it hammering out stories of my own, to hopefully get published some day. That’s the funny thing about working for yourself, you don’t really get get “free time” unless you’re willing to let go of your “life goals” for a day or two.. and I have a hard time doing that.

Question 9: Any other “life goals” that you are knocking around, other than the comic book creator thing?  You planning on climbing Kilimanjaro before it’s glacier completely melts away? What goals do you have?

There are a number of adventures I’d love to go on… Sky diving, hiking around ancient temples, make a family, save the world.. In no particular order. Actually, strike that, I want to hike through an ancient temple to an air plane, make a family while skydiving, and land on the head of Dick Chaney (which may not save the world, but I’m trying to be realistic here;).

But no other life goals, just bucket list stuff.  Interesting.

Oh, look. Half way through.  The questions only get harder from here. (not really). Question 10: What drives you when you are not inspired to do your art?

Well, hmmm, honestly if I’m feeling uninspired with the art that I’m doing I’ll normally just jump to a different medium… That way I’m still “making” something. The whole “art thing” is less about personal expression and more about needing to make stuff. I have a strange need to interact with whatever I’m doing. Like music for example, I have a hard time simply sitting and listening to music, I almost always have to tap my foot or dance to the band or play the air drums on the steering wheel of my car.

That’s cool.

I was born in Oklahoma City, OK.  I moved to Montgomery, AL, and then grew up in Birmingham, AL.  I went to undergrad in Kent, OH, and then settled in Columbus, OH.
Question 11: What is your geographic history?

Oh god.. Born in Michigan, moved to Iowa, back MI, Arkansas, Philly, Ithaca, Arkansas, back to Ithaca, Binghamton, Ny, Ithaca again, Colorado, AR, NY, Seattle, AR, and last Ithaca… That’s the “major” version… There’s a handful more of minor moves.

You keep going back to Ithaca.  Question 12: Is Ithaca your *home* where you hang your hat?  Why is that?

Ithaca is home.. And I would even go as far to say my “hometown”, or at least the closest thing I have to one. I think one of the reasons I keep ending up back here is because Ithaca is a bubble community in a lot of ways.. In a lot of the other places I’ve lived and I’m pretty sure I can safely generalize to say most of America, the downtown areas were replaced by giant shopping malls, and in the last 10-15 years those shopping malls have turned into what I call shopping-towns… Or boxburgs… All the big corporations piling in on top of each other, taking over huge chunks of land to create these monoliths of pointless crap.. Whatever.. I don’t want to start a rant about what’s wrong with the world.. Anyway, Ithaca, yeah… In the past it has prevented boxburg takeovers, and even though a lot of them are here now, there are still a good chunk of people who won’t shop at them. This makes for a community of people that support local things.. And that is something I like.

Shop local is a wonderful principle to adhere to.  I know I definitely try to do that, especially with restaurants.  Question 13: Is there a local eatery that you cannot help but find yourself inside sitting at a table and ordering food?  What food?

Food?!? Oh man, this is going to turn into a advertisement for visiting Ithaca! There is no shortage of great food here. My end all favorite is this place called the Hazelnut Kitchen in Trumansburg, NY.. About a 20 minute drive away.
But with in the city limites Ithaca, per capita, has more places to eat then manhatten…

A place called Fineline has hands down the best brunch. Hal’s deli has the best greasy spoon diner breakfast, best bar/sitdown dinner.. This is a tough one.. Actually there are too many to count… Northstar Pub and Maxie’s are two of the top thou… Anyway this list goes on and on and on. And the only good it’s doing is making me hungry…
Lol, let’s move on :P

Crap… now I’m hungry too.  The issue that I have here is that I have not found a local restaurant that has something that I just cannot help but eat.  Don’t get me wrong, there are many places that are perfectly tasty and have great food, but I have not found anyplace with the one dish that draws me like a moth to the flame…. One day I will find it though… and then I will burn in the flame, um… like a moth.  DAMN YOU ANALOGIES!  DAMN YOU TO HELL!

Speaking of “damning,” Question 14: Do you have a favorite invective curse? Do you have a favorite “clean” curse and do you have a favorite “blue” curse?

Favorite? That’s like asking a parent to pick out his/her favorite child as a favorite.. I mean sure they most likely have one but they’ll never say.
Fuck- is the ambassador to all other curse words. When in doubt, “fuck” is usually as strong of a curse that you will need in any give situation. It’s the rock of curse words, great as the word it sometimes you know a scalpel.
Clean curse word? Like something I use around kids? Um, normally I don’t think about it until too late… Hmmm… Fudge-sicle.. Shitty-chitty-bang-bang… Oh! So you know how sometimes you’re somewhere that you really really should NOT curse, but your month has started and nothing will stop it…So I’m in a room with kids and a plethora of “proper” adults… my mouth wants to say “fuck”, but my brain jumped in right in the nick of time to change it to “fuck-a-duck”.. because if you add a cute duck to anything it automatically makes it appropriate for all ages. so yeah, there’s that. :P

I am a big fan of the word “fuck” in all its wonderful forms.  It is like the age old, recently re-discovered word “smurf.” It can be substituted for any other word.  As far as a clean curse word, I dig the term “j-hole.”  It just makes me laugh because it means nothing.

Question 15: So, I feel good if I get a solid 6 hours of sleep a night, but typically I get a total of around 5…Knowing when you tweet and post on Ten Ton, how much sleep do you get per evening and what hours are your typical sleep hours?

"Typical"… I don’t think that word applies. I work until I can’t stay awake any longer. At least that’s what happens when I’m on a deadline for a monthly book. I’m sure I could give you a better answer if my life in the last year had been in anyway sane.. In the last year (which was also my first year of doing comix full time), I’ve moved twice (once being cross country) and the other time being do to the massive rains we here on the east coast endured this last fall.  Three words: studio ceiling fail. Anyway, almost every month in the last… 6 or 7, has had its own little headache to deal with.. For example, while working on the first issue of Key of Z, that is when my live in apartment/ studio ceiling collapsed, in the next few weeks there were construction crews in, on, under, and in front of my place; in, repairing the ceiling, on, repairing the roof, under/in front of, the local gas company was replace all their old equipment. When I was sending in the pages for the third issue I had had to move all of my computer equipment (think big and clunky) out of my studio to allow the guys working on the ceiling to do their thing.. So every night after they left, I would take all my computer stuff back upstairs, hook everything back up, scan in my pages, do whatever photoshop tweaking and whatnot that needed doing, take everything apart again move it all back down stairs, and get back to drawing the next set of pages.. Needless to say “typical” is not a word I think of when it comes to meeting a deadline. “Whatever it takes” is a better phrase.

That is harrowing to say the least.  I cannot imagine being that productive amidst that amount of chaos.

Question 16: Bearing in mind that your schedule is complete and utter shite, are you more of an evening person or a morning person?

When it comes to drawing I’m more night then day… But I think that comes from years of academic training… Which is to say I was the kid in class with his head out the window, wanting to be anywhere other then the indoors. So I blame the school system for that. However I enjoy both day and night. I wouldn’t say I’m naturally one or then other.

I am firmly and most indelibly a night person.  I am most creative between the hours of 10 pm and 1 to 1:30-ish am… That is when I draw the best, and come up with my best ideas… however I have to be at work between 6:30 and 7 am…. That makes for an untenable schedule.

Question 17: Fill in the blank… “I am mostly ________”…. and go!

Water?
Although being that I’m not big on questions on cage personal insight.. I’m sending a text to some of my friends to see what they say…

Khoi Pham says “liger blood”
Nick Pitarra says “id driven” (he means “id” as in the other side of ego)
Reilly Brown says something I won’t repeat.
My 11 year old nephew says: crazy… No wait you’re worse then that

Those are all great answers! Since we are nearing the end of these 20 Questions

Question 18: Any questions that you have for me?

How’s the fam?

In general the fam is doing well. Wifey is training for a marathon currently and cranked out a 20 mile run this weekend in  super craptastic weather. You can read about her exploits at tueslife.tumblr.com … she is amazing, and I have to say super hawt and sexay.  She is a badass. We have determined through countless hours of observation that Little Man is quite possibly the nicest person in the family… and that goes to seriously extended family as well.  He is just a wonder.  I wish I could be as nice as him.  Today after watching some Star Wars: The Clone Wars episodes he went upstairs and recreated the whole ep with his LEGO’s… seriously a great builder.  He is a badass. As I am typing this, it is currently just before midnight on Sunday Jan 15th, and my 3 year old girl is testing boundaries. The boundary she is testing currently has to do with going to sleep.  So, she is stubborn.  That being said, earlier today she was playing dress-up as a fairy princess.  Her particular fairy princess has a cutlass and a knife and two-weapon fights a la the dagger/rapier combo.  She is a badass.  To sum up, the fam is badass.

Question 19: Is there anything specific that you will take away from these 20 Questions that you didn’t realize you were bringing in?

Well, one of the things that stood out to me about a number of the questions was their duel nature: are you a day person or night, extrovert or introvert, etc. To each of which, my answers were “neither”…. Or “both”…

These questions totally fucked with my head for a minute. Why? Well, I believe that one of my personal keys to happiness is creating the right blend of decisiveness and openness. To spending too long worrying about stuff that doesn’t matter can lead to the path of unhappiness. So decisiveness is key to cutting through the overgrowth in life. And openness to happiness and failure. People talk about being open to life’s experiences, which is totally fine, if you’re willing to let the outside forces of life guide you… Which I completely “get”… I’ve lived that kind of life too.., but I also believe that if you want to form your life into want you want it to be, you can’t be open to “everything”. You have to make your mind up about where you want to take your life and be willing to live with the consequences..

Now, to be clear, I have an inherent sense of morals as a guide.. Respect is given when it’s earned, be there for your friends and family, listen more then you speak (need to work on this one), etc.. (BTW, I realize that those are mottos I live by, see earlier question.. But I don’t necessarily recant them to myself very often… They’re mostly hard wired in)..  Between this moral code and my half-assed rules for personal happiness, I think of myself as a fairly clear minded person.

After answering the dualistic questions with. “neither” or “both”.. I felt wishy-washy.. It had me thinking, how can someone be decisive AND be so open to “night or day”, “extroverted or introverted”…  Then “openness” hit me. I remembered that because I’m cool with both sides of the coin doesn’t mean I’m indecisive.. And hopefully it means I get to pocket the coin.

Here is the deal. If you are not a Buddhist, you may want to re-think your spiritual path. For you, it seems like life is the comfort of the yin and the yang. The deft maneuvering between the this or that states that our little minds tend to impose on the world. You are fuzzy math in a bivarite system.  That is one of the reasons, I think, you will, in the end, be a raging success.

Question 20: What is next for you?

I have a couple pitches I’m working on. And some other things that are possible very very cool, but I wouldn’t want to jinx anything.

Well, that was delightful.  I want to Thank Aaron again, because he rocks. Whatever is next, you will do well.  Follow him on the Twitters at @AaronKuder and check out his art in his online portfolio.

To recap:
This 20 Questions was a shit ton of fun
Lots of stuff not working at the work today
I have spent many an hour today trying to make them work
Sadly, this involves lots of progress bars

If I were to open a bar, it would be called the “Progress Bar” and a bar of light would slowly crawl across the building front though out the evening with a percentage of how much longer the bar would be open that night
I would expect many digital artists and programmers to be the clientel
I am loving Star Wars: The Old Republic
I have 4 characters on the “Keller’s Void” server
Look me up
I am a Zabrak Sith Warrior named Pa’apa
I love it when you call me big Pa’pa
Have a great weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 182 - Dave Myers aka "Ballpoint"

I know that I have interviewed other people that I have met on my Internet home away from home, Ten Ton Studios.  The place is really is one of the best hives of scum and villainy I have found on the Internets.  The place is really a collection of insanely talented artists who happen to have the social skills of that annoying kid everyone knew in 7th grade.  You know the kid, the one that always made the “I’m sleeping with your mother/sister/girlfriend” jokes when you know that they cannot even get a date.  Anyway… today’s 20 Questions Tuesday is with one of the artists within the Ten Ton Studios community, Dave Myers.  Dave tends to skew angry in his posts, either on Ten Ton or (if you know him) on the Facebooks.  He enjoys drawing skulls juxtaposed with non-skull like things, but I imagine he is a fluffly little bunny on the inside.  So let’s find out.
 
On to the questions…
 
Question 1: Are you a fluffy little bunny on the inside?

 I skew angry?  I’ll have to work on that.
I have been accused on several occasions of being a teddy bear, I have also been accused of acting like a silver-back gorilla, depending on which day of the week it is.
I have never been associated with a fluffy bunny though.
I would say no, I am not a fluffy bunny on the inside, but, I have eaten rabbit before, does that count?

I don’t think eating rabbit equates to being a fluffy bunny on the inside.  I also think I probably should have said “skews cynical” instead of “skews angry.” Question 2: What comic book (as precise as you can be) was it that got you hooked on comics?  For me it was an over-sized DC Superfriends and an over-sized Justice League comic book that I would trace images out of.  

I guess that really equates to having had a formerly fluffy bunny on the inside, anywho.
The comic that got me hooked on comics, that is a 2 parter.
The 1st comic I ever read was What If #23. It was a Hulk story.
That’s when I was like “whoa, comics are rad!!” and I read comics on occasion, when my parents would pick them up for me.
I used to draw while I listened to my Spider Man “rockcomic” LOL.
It wasn’t until I got the Dark Knight Returns, that i was like “Holy SHIT THAT is the coolest Fucking thing I’ve ever seen!!” that’s when the hooks set in the deepest.

It’s crazy.  When you talk with people who enjoy drawing comic booky things, they know which issue exactly drew them in.  My comic book experience that really pulled me in and got the sequential hooks in me was Captain America 237, Captain America 245, and Captain America 250.  Captain America was my guy.  He was the super hero that really made me like comic books.  Question 3: Who was your guy?  What character is the one you first made “your hero?”

That fluctuates.
If I had to pick just one, I go Batman, he’s been the most consistent.
I started with Hulk, I was obsessed with the Hulk when I was a kid. Then I discovered Spider Man, and was really into him.
When I got bit by the Batman bug though, Norm Breyfogle had just started his Detective run, I loved his style.
I stuck to mostly Batman/Detective,but also became enamored with Frank Miller. So then it was onto Wolverine/Daredevil, etc.
Lately, though, my “guy” is Deadpool.
I would give my left arm to draw a Deadpool book.

Yeah, I went through my X-phase with the Clermont/Romita Jr days and then I read properties that I had ties to through toys like GI Joe and Transformers.  Then came the great dormancy of comic book reading which I am slowly recovering from.

I know that drawing comic book stuff is not your job (even though it is what you want to do), so I know that drawing is a large part of what you do during your down time. Question 4: What other activities do you do to eat up your limited to non-existent free time?

I have zero free time.
Between having a new girlfriend, and spending as much time as I can with her. She has 2 girls that live with us, my teenage son lives with us as well, AND we just got a new puppy.
Limited to non-existent are the key words there!!
Its all I can do to stay current with the few TV shows I actually watch.
I used to enjoy woodworking, that was fun when I had a garage, but, I never really dedicated a whole lot of time to it.
I play video games on occasion, Call of Duty mostly.
If I do have a spare minute though, its usually spent drawing, or, lately,  cleaning up dog shit.

So, in the 20 Questions Tuesday: 180 with Paul Gilmartin, I mentioned that my day job is to look at computer representations of holes in the ground.  Question 5: What is your day job?

Day job is I work for an aerospace company as an Inventory Control Manager.
To translate, I keep track of approximately 2.5 mil. dollars worth of aerospace parts in our inventory system. I do this by myself now, while the owner of my company buys $80k sports cars weeks after I have to lay off 3 of my employees.
What was that about cynical again?? … .
Oh yeah, I skew cynical, sorry. Let me re-phrase;
I am happy to have a solid career during these tough economic times !!

I just want to draw … .

I have always found that people who are paying attention tend to skew cynical. A favorite question of mine coming up… Question 6: Cake or Pie? What type of cake or pie is the favorite? (I have noticed while this question is pretty flip of a question, it is surprisingly insightful).
Oh this one is easy.

Pie, … all day long.
More specifically; Key Lime Pie,

even more specifically than that, Publix Key Lime Pie

(a supermarket down here in Fla.) Even though I can’t really eat it any more, I love that stuff!! It’s on my “Death Row Dinner List”

There were Publix’s in Birmingham before I left, although I am pretty sure they have been run out of town by now.  Question 7: Why can you no longer consume said key lime pie from Publix?

No one runs Publix out of town ! ! ! !
Publix decided Birmingham was not worth it’s time.
Publix is like the Chuck Norris of grocery stores, it does what it wants.
I can’t do any sweets anymore because I used to be REALLY fat, I was up to 426 lbs. at one point in time.
I stopped drinking anything carbonated (no beer, soda, etc.) , stopped eating any sweets, and I completely cut out red meat from my diet.
Then I started running, and working out a lot.
Don’t go thinking I’m a pinnacle of health though.
Yes,  I do maintain a fairly healthy diet now, but, that is delicately balanced with cigarettes, coffee, and bacon any time I can get my hands on it.
I have managed to maintain a steady 200 lbs. for the past 8 years.
My girlfriend, my couch, my chairs, and my wallet all appreciate it.

That is some serious will power.  I know that I could not give up red meat and I love cheesecake too much to say goodbye forever to it.  Kudos to you for dropping the insane weight.  Well done!  I have peaked at 250 lbs and since this June I have slowly dropped down to 230-ish.  I need to continue down to the 200 area, so that is a 2012 New Year’s resolution.  Seriously, good on you, mate!  The fact that you have done this for 8 years is seriously significant.  Question 8: So, when is smoking going to be in your crosshairs for elimination? It is the last health hurdle…

It’s not.

Its the only vice I have left. Maybe when I get lung cancer or something I’ll consider it.
Until then, cigarettes and coffee are the only 2 things keeping me off of the 11 o’clock news.

Besides, if I keep smoking, I won’t get Alzheimer’s!! So I have that going for me.

It is all a trade off, isn’t it?  I personally just cannot give up my Green Mistress. Mountain Dew is the sugar I just cannot quit.  Question 9: So, what is your geographic story?  Where all have you lived?

I was born here in Florida, about 15 miles from where I live now.
When I was 5, we moved out to Oregon for 7 years, then moved back.
I hate Florida, it sucks down here. I have lived here long enough to earn the right to bitch about it!!
I have toyed with the idea of moving a few times, but, unfortunately, it never panned out.
Now I fear I’m stuck here forever, my girlfriend loves it here.

So you went coast to coast without stopping in the middle for a spell.  It isn’t bad enough that you hate your job, you are such an over achiever, you hate where you live as well.  That’s dedication.

Question 10: Put these three genres in order from favorite to least favorite and justify your answer: sci-fi, fantasy, horror

1)sci-fi - Because Star Wars, that’s why.

2)fantasy - I would have put horror above this , until last week. Then i watched the 1st season of “Game of Thrones” SOO badass.
I like a lot of Fantasy, but, I don’t like it when it’s overly “glammy” or too polished. Like LOTR, I’m not a huge fan, its just too “neat” for me.
I like “grungy” fantasy. If that makes sense.

3)horror - I love some horror movies, not the shitty ones like “saw” and “hostel” those are just stupid gorefests.
I like monsters, and, a plot.

For me it goes fantasy, sci-fi, and then horror.  But to me horror seems to be a sub-genre of other genres.  Alien is Sci-Fi horror, and then the more mainstream horror is either set in the real world with something fantastic added in, which would be like modern fantasy to me. The other big reason I would put horror as 3 is because I don’t like it.  

So Question 11: Have you ever thought about self publishing a comic book through ka-blam or kickstarter?  If so, what is the book’s over arching idea?

I have thought about it several times.
I haven’t done it yet though.
My problem is that, I can’t seem to get together a good team. I’m not a one man show, nor do I want to be.

I can come up with ideas, but, I’m not a good writer, I can pencil and ink, but, I am slow and not very good at computer coloring.
If I could put together a good core team of people, that could commit to doing something, I would pursue it.

The main one I want to do is the one you colored a bit of (until my writer flaked on me and I had to scrap the story and start over). Basically its the story of a hillbilly guy the gets a hold of an enchanted Katana. I won’t reveal the title, because, its one of the best parts of the idea LOL.

Another idea I have is a story about a child that gets infused with the Higgs Boson particle after its created by the Large Hadron Collider, he receives god like powers, and is then hunted by a former over the hill super hero that wants his power so he can be relevant again.

I also have a few others, but, those are the main 2. I’m kind of working with a publisher on a book that may or may not happen some time this year. (that is VERY preliminary)

I loved the property that you had me do some colors on.  I think with how much your line work has progressed, you should re-do some of the pages without as much shading, and let me do better colors on them.  That is my 2 cents.  So what I am hearing is that you need a writer…  we can talk about doing colors later not on this blog… (ooooh cryptic)

Question 12: Since you live in Florida, and you seem to dislike it muchly, where do you prefer to take vacations?

We will have to discuss that further … .

I actually like Florida, its the people I hate.
I know that sounds terrible, but, if you lived here you’d understand.
As for vacations, you assume i have enough money to take vacation?? HA, I go nowhere.
I haven’t taken a “proper vacation” in over a year, and even then it was just to New Jersey.
I was with my ex, which, really can’t be considered a vacation. It was more like missionary work.

Yes, yes, I get it. You haven’t been able to go on vaca, but Question 13: Where would you like to go for a vacation?

Until it melted, I would have said Japan, I’m scared to go there now with all the radiation. I would say somewhere either super tropical (Fiji, the Maldives, Bora Bora etc). Somewhere I can fish for crazy stuff I’ve never seen. Although, a month alone in a log cabin somewhere does sound nice too.

Japan did go to the shitter… both geologically and nuclearly… That was quite a number being done to the Land of the Rising Sun.  But basically you like it hot and wet…. That didn’t come out right.

In college I worked at a Nordic Track as a salesman, I worked at a Barnes & Noble for a bit, spent my grad school days as a teaching assistant, then professionally as a Cartographer/Designer at an A&E firm, then a failed stint in a non-profit, and currently a geo-tech job for the State DOT, and I have done some freelance work here and there…  Question 14: What has your career path been like?

Career path? Christ, that’s a mess.
I had kids real young, so when I was in my early twenties, I had whatever job(s) I could get. I literally worked 4 jobs at one point in time. I worked in a statue factory, worked for a company that made gaudy touristy Florida seashell art, I did some telemarketing, worked construction, etc.

It wasn’t until maybe 23 that I settled down enough to have only 1 job. I worked for a customer service center for 3 years , It was then that I got into tatttooing. I did that as a 2nd job for a couple of years. I had built up a bit of a following, so, I bit the bullet and made that the full time gig. I did pretty well at it for a couple of years, then, all of the sudden out of nowhere, a bazillion tattoo shops opened up, and business got real bad.

So, I went back to a “normal” job. I started to move my focus to doing some graphic design work on the side.

I worked at a medical supply company for a few years, then got a better job offer at a mail order medical supply company. I left that job, almost 6 years ago, for the current job I have now. I have been working for an aerospace company for the past 6 years. (while doing all my “art stuff” on the side when the opportunity presents itself)

HO-Lee shit that is all over the place. So, Question 15: Most tattoo artists have tats themselves, how many do you have? and what are they?

Not as many as you might think.
I have a total of 8, a few of those are numerous tattoos in a cluster though.
lets see, … .

Right ankle - a Snook (fish)

Right Calf from knee to ankle  - hammerhead shark

Right thigh - Celtic knotwork design (done while apprenticing)

Right upper arm 1/2 sleeve - Collage of comic book villains (Joker, Venom, Dr. Doom, and Magneto)

Left upper arm 1/2 sleeve - a big skull with some old school tribal around it, capped off with Celtic knotwork (not my most well thought out tattoo)

Left forearm 1/2 sleeve - This area currently “under construction” I had a big grim reaper with tribal, to which I recently added a samurai on the other side.
I’m turning the tribal into a Japanese Cherry Blossom tree, that will split my arm in half lengthways with the samurai looking over his shoulder, on one side of the tree and the reaper, looking back, on the other.

Left calf (back) - Tattoo machine with hot rod flames around it.

Left ankle -A hodge podge of stuff, I used to test out my machine on my ankle, so there’s a few undefined patterns on ther. LOL, its a mess.

I have one tattoo on my back, that I would to get some work added onto it, make it bigger, badder, and more better bad-assery than it already is… Just hard to part with the money and time to get it done. If you were local I would demand you come out of tattoo retirement and ink something on me.  Demand, I say!  I also think you are selling yourself short on the number of tats you have since you consider a sleeve and partial sleeve to be considered one tattoo.

Question 16: So is there anything I didn’t ask you that I should have?

Hmmm. Lets see . .

I told you not to ask about my collection of midget porn, so that one is off the list.
You didn’t ask about my time in ‘nam, but, I won’t talk about that, it’s just too painful.
We also didn’t cover my extensive Ninja training in the foothills of Mt. Fuji, but, I don’t want to disclose much of that.
sooo , uh, no.

I was unaware of that you are a ninja, Nam vet , short porner.  Good to know.
Question 17: Anything you want to ask me?

Yeah, what do you hope to achieve by interviewing no name, dummies like myself and Steve Willhite?

Answer: I have stated this before in other places when I have interviewed other non-famous people… I usually choose the people that interest me and whom I think answer different questions interestingly.  So far, I have not been disappointed. Everyone I have asked 20 questions tend to have had interesting answers.  Most people in the world are not even famous in a their very particular niche, and they are still interesting.  If I can create a conversation that is interesting for anyone else, it is a great interview.

Question 18: Is there something you want all the people (there are a solid 20 people who read this) to know about you? 25 people… pressure is on…

That depends, are those people looking to hire a mediocre artist for a ton of money? If not, then no.

Hell, If I knew those people, I wouldn’t be stuck at this crap job for the State.

Question 19: Since we are still near the beginning of the year, is there anything you want to say goodbye to from 2011 and is there anything you want to say hello to in 2012?

2011 was both the absolute worst and, at the same time, the absolute best year of my life.

I’m glad that its over, and I really am looking forward to a way better time in 2012
(Until Dec. 21st anyways, when, you know, Quetzalcoatl or Cthulhu will come and end the world.)

For 2011 I am saying goodbye to complacency… I need to keep things moving by myself and not wait for others to make things move for me.  I am saying hello to the fact that one cannot have larger success without some failure.

Question 20: Is there anything that you are taking away from these 20 questions?

I’m taking lots away ! !
I have discovered what an insanely boring person I am, and I am pretty snarky about it.
I am also seeing that I need to take a vacation.

I have also discovered that you apparently have way more free time on your hands than you should.
Go draw something for gods sakes.

I should draw more, but busting out the sketch book at work is frowned upon, even when I am merely watching progress bars slowly creeping across the screen. Emailing people, is something I can do… okay everyone… Dave is available for commissions, and would love for you to buy his work/hire him  etc… check out his website and follow him on the Twitters.

A Dave Myers original

To recap:

More interviews on the way
Just had to search nearly a terabyte of data for some files from 7-2009
15% complete…. been running for 10 minutes
So’s I have some time on my hands
Yeah me
The game is afoot, Watson!
Do you have your service revolver?
Bring it.  Things might get touchy
I need a haircut, but nearly as much as Little Man needs a haircut
Gonna have something cheap for lunch today
Woo-hooo
42% complete…. 1 hour in
Have a great weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 181 - Jackie Kashian

I have decided that I will eschew Internet convention and not make today’s post about New Year’s resolutions.  Mainly because only one person responded to my call for resolution questions and I have 20 Questions Tuesday with Comedian Jackie Kashian in the can…. A good way to start the year, iffens you ask me.

As many of you out there know in Internetlandia, I am white, male, and geeky.  I pretty much revel in my white geekiness.  Quite happy with it indeed.  I cannot say that I have always been happy about my geekery and my dorkiness, but as I have gained in age and wisdom and become more fully who I am by accepting and embracing what makes up the “me” in me, I have found that I am happily a nerd, geek, or dork pending on one’s definition of such people.

 

In the 30+ hours of podcasts I listen to, one that has been consistently enjoyable is The Dork Forest hosted by Jackie Kashian.  In this podcast she chats with people about their own personal dorkiness. Topics range from typical dork tropes like science fiction, comic books, fantasy, and games to more obscure topics such as true crime, and her now famous within her circles podcast on bee husbandry.  Each and every episode is interesting on its own, and they are consistently interesting because of the safe space that Jackie creates for her guests and her typically facile hosting. 

Jackie is a comedian based out of L.A. who grew up in Wisconsin.  She brings a different point of view to her comedy and is lovely to listen to.  More than that, she has graciously agreed to answer 20 questions from little old me (with a potential to ask me 20 questions in return).  Enough of the jibber-jabber, on to the Questions!

I ask this of all my 20 Questions interviewees.  I was born in Oklahoma City, moved to Montgomery, Alabama, moved up to Birmingham for a good long while, went to college in Kent, Ohio, and ended up settling down in Columbus, Ohio.  Question 1: What is your geographic story?

I was born and raised, youngest of six, in South Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Its own town with its own water treatment plant, south of Milwaukee, against the shore of Lake Michigan. It was bucolic and yet has created some rage issues. I went to College at the UW – Madison, I lived three summers (pretty sure, I was very drunk) in Provincetown, MA working at a hotdog stand, selling footlong dogs to transvestites and reaffirming that I wasn’t gay. I then lived in Milwaukee for six months with my sister. Then I moved to Minneapolis for 6 years. Then I moved to LA where I have lived here almost 15 years.

Question 2: Of all the dorkdoms with which you claim citizenship, which one would you say is the most near and dear to your heart?

I’m a reader. I read most anything (cept horror, as it is scary) and do it a LOT. I read a lot of fiction: Mysteries, Sci Fi, Fantasy, Westerns, Modern Lit, Romance novels. I read classic literature as well, though not as oftenl. I also read more and more non-fiction, histories and biographies mostly. Sometimes think it’s quantity rather than quality with me and the reading.

Question 3: As a touring comedian, do you try to use only one airline to collect points as you traverse the country or do you just go with the best deal of the day when you purchase the tickets?

God I wish. I’ve had a couple “points” dorks on the show and they are ADAMANT in keeping to one airline/hotel/credit card. I am just starting to do this. I usually just go with best deal.

Let’s do this…  you say you have a love of chicken, here is what my little girl loves to eat and as a parent, I love to make for her: 

Simple & Easy Baked Chicken Drums

• 5 or 6 chicken drums
• 1/4 cup butter/margarine
• 1/2 cup flour
• 1 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp paprika
• 1/4 tsp pepper

melt the butter on a plate
mix the dry ingredients on another plate
coat the chicken with the melted butter
dredge the chicken in the flour mixture
preheat the oven to 425 F
arrange chicken in a baking pan
bake for 50 minutes
viola

Question 4: What is your favorite chicken recipe?

Well that looks amazing. My favorite chicken recipe is the chicken in front of me. I will tell you this…. Boneless, skinless chicken breasts are the devil’s work. Don’t eat them on purpose. It’s something you eat OUT. You don’t inflict that on your FAMIILY. You love them.  Here’s my fave but there’s a bunch on my bakespace page  http://www.bakespace.com/recipes/member/14732/

Grilled Yogurt Chicken with Mint

Whole chicken cut into 8 pieces

1 cup plain yogurt

2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

5 cloves garlic, minced

Zest (rind) of one lemon, minced

1/4 cup chopped fresh mint leaves

2 teaspoons cumin

1/2 teaspoon of cayenne pepper

1 1/2 teaspoons coarse salt

DIRECTIONS
1. In a bowl big enough to marinate the chicken (or in a bag), combine the yogurt, olive oil, garlic, lemon zest, mint leaves, cumin, cayenne pepper, and salt; Add the chicken to the yogurt marinade, turning to coat both sides; cover with plastic wrap (or put in a plastic bag). Let marinade in the refrigerator at least 8 hours, preferably 24 hours.

2. Preheat the oven 400 degree F. (unless you’re grilling, this is great grilled).

3. (If you grill put the chicken - skin down to sear, 15min, turn, cook another 20-30 til done) If you bake, sear the chicken – skin down – in a cast iron pan or hot hot skillet for 15min. Then put the chicken, skin up, in a baking dish (or keep in in the cast iron) and bake for another 20 or 30 til done.

4. Meat thermometer should register an internal temperature of 165 degrees F. (juices will run clear when cut with the tip of a knife).

Question 5: Pie or cake and which of pie or cake and why (three questions in 1…. it is how I roll)?

Pie. Cake is not my downfall. Pie is fine… I really would prefer to eat chicken. Cherry, Apple or Pumpkin are the preferred pies of choice. But, I probably eat whatever pie there is.

Question 6: I know that you love the comic books… do you tend to follow characters, artists, or writers?  For me, when I had the discretionary income to buy comics, I followed John Romita Jr from X-Men, to Daredevil, to Punisher…

I would say that I default to writers, then characters. Like, initially (7 years ago when I started reading comics) I chose story… non-superhero story. Stuff like Hard Times (Steve Gerber) Y the Last Man (Brian K. Vaughn), and  Lucifer (Mike Carey) were my first choices. Planetary and Ministry of Space (Warren Ellis) too. Then I read a bunch of superhero stuff and I took those authors with me. X-Men were the easiest to get into initially. The first movie had just come out and I was introduced that way, again. The first artist I remembered, and still will buy anything he writes or draws, is Kyle Baker. He drew Truth  (the black Captain America story), he wrote and drew this amazing arc of Plastic Man. I LOVE this Image title he did, Special Forces.  Right now I think I’m reading 40 titles a month. It’s ridiculous. And… awesome.

Speaking of comic books, I am a member of an online community of comic-booky people at the Ten Ton Studios forums (populated by Chris Burnham, Reilly Brown, Khoi Pham, and some other cats).

Question 7: Do you belong to any online communities, and if so, what do they center around?

I do not. I belong to the incredible communities of facebook and twitter. I talk to those people about whatever they want. Until it gets creepy. Then they are blocked.

Question 8: Concerning your podcast, who would you consider to be dream guests? I, for one, would love to hear you dork out with Neil deGrasse Tyson and Stan Lee (not necessarily at the same time, but I wouldn’t rule it out).

Wow… I do not know Neil. I DO know several dorks who work at JPL though… heh. (Jet Propulsion Lab, works on the Spitzer Space Telescope). I would love to talk to famousy dorks. Like, people who others (including me) dork out about, but who are also giant fans of things. Wil Wheaton, Nathan Fillion and then just heroes of mine, like Albert Brooks and Dick Cavett. But I’m also psyched about finding the elusive NEXT awesome dorkdom that I didn’t know exist. Like … I don’t know – a Japanese Sneaker dork. Someone who’s really into sports field turf. I don’t know. Something weird and awesome.

Question 9: A: What is your favorite color? B: What color is your toothbrush?  C: If the answers to A and B are not the same color, please explain.

A. hunter green or a deep purple. (I’m an adult I get two). B. a crummy purple C. my choices were limited.

I am stuck on a break at work, when I could be home playing Star Wars: The Old Republic…

Question 10: What game are you wanting to play right now?

LOTR Boardgame. I WISH I had a new video game to play. Quite honestly I’ve been afraid to start one as I have productivity issues. But I do love me a video game. Zelda. FFLegend. Prince of Persia. (anything from this century Jackie?) That there SKYRIM looks kinda cool.

Question 11: How much time do you get to play games in your life?  I know that, while it seems otherwise, your schedule is crazy busy with the comedy and podcasting and life and stuff.

Now, why would it seem otherwise? We spend a fair amount of time playing games: Dungeons and Dragons, Pathfinder, Champions, and then just regular board games. My husband is a game designer. You know that hacky question that ladies are supposedly asking their loved ones? “What are you thinking about?” We had that conversation ONCE. He asked me, I said, “comedy.” I asked him back and he said, “games.” And I figure he’s still thinking about games (b/c I’m still thinking about comedy).

So, I cannot help but be addicted to my caffeinated Green Mistress, Mountain Dew…

Question 12: Do you have any addictions?

Treated? Food, booze, and lethargy. Not treated? sugar though. Weirdly.

Just as an FYI, asking a comedian 20 questions and avoiding comedy topics is rather difficult.  So, I will now strive to ask odd comedy questions… Question 13: So the Three Stooges seem to be funny mainly (almost solely) by men, why is that?

That’s what they say. I dunno. I like the 3 Stooges better than Laurel and Hardy but I’ve been told that I’m an idiot for that. So I’ve been tasked (by many of the male comics in my life) to watch them again, as the guys told me, “because they are so much better than the 3 stooges.” Whatever. I like George Cukor.

Question 14:  Have any of the guests you have had on the Dork Forest actually made you feel uncomfortable because of their fanaticism associated with their dorkdom? Anyone too fervent in their wild-eyed love such that it made you want to avoid eye contact and back away slowly?

Heh. So far, so good. Some of the people are super intense but it’s only dork expeditions, where I’ve gotten into a car with a super fan who’s taking me to their lair, which I’ve had to say, “Hey! Hostage situation over here… I have a show tonight. I need to get back to the hotel.” People are VERY aware that the thing they love is just that, the thing THEY love. Which is good. I’m interested, but I’m not taking up … ice climbing just because you love it.

Question 15: Is there a dork forest topic out there that you are surprised you haven’t found someone to come on your podcast and wax eloquent?

Nope. Got any suggestions? Because if I put it out there… someone will come forward. I HAVE asked about a porn dork but I want it to be academic, not creepy. That has weeded out a lot of comics I know.

I process geo-referenced data concerning the underlying geology of Ohio in regards to the state’s transportation network.  Oddly, when I get home, I don’t want to deal with geology or holes in the ground or state transportation infrastructure.

Question 16: Do you dislike being funny when you are at home chilling, or does your computer game designer husband stay away from computer games when he is home?  Could be both…

I am hilarious all the time. In written form I’m mostly sincere and amusing. Verbally I’m hilarious. Because I’m riffing I guess. Or the filter is off when I’m talking. Unlike the typing.

Question 17: What are you happy to say good bye to from 2011 and what are you looking forward to welcoming in 2012?

—Jackie Missed this question… or avoided it— Thanks, the editor

Question 18: What is your personal third rail of comedy? What topic is your own private white whale of funny?

I don’t know that third rail is… cool kid question?

White Whale – had to give it up. Had to get sane and admit defeat. I used to read Cathy every day. EVERY DAY. In the hopes that I would write a joke SO POWERFUL that she would stop making that comic strip.

Question 19: Any questions I didn’t ask that I should have?

nope. Seems good.

Question 20: Did you have any insights about anything whilst answering these 20 questions? Did this process teach you anything about anything?

Sadly no. I blame society.

Everyone go to jackiekashian.com for Jackie’s information, and give her a follow at @jackiekashian on the Twitter… she is funny… Buy “It’s Never Going to be Bread” it will make you laugh.

To recap:
Jackie is an amazanaut, exporing the amazasphere
Scrappy Doo was the single worst thing to happen to the Scooby Doo franchise
Even more worster than the subsequent addition of the Tibetan kid, Flim-Flam
That’s right, A 13 Ghosts of Scooby-Doo reference
Suck on that Internet…. Suckle on that obscurity
You tried to forget it, but I brought it back

Happy New Years by the way
So much happening this week
None of it involves me and cheesecake
That makes me a little sad
Not super sad
Bought some art stuff this weekend with Christmas money
Sitting at work and not getting into anything interesting
Or uninteresting, for that matter
Really unmotivated due to the ennui of this place
…and the belly seems a but uncomfortable
That does not bode well for the rest of the day
Have a great weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 180 - Paul Gilmartin

This week, I have the distinct honor of asking 20 questions to comedian Paul Gilmartin. Many people may know him from his insanely long stint as host of “Dinner and a Movie” on TBS.  Some people may know him from his stand-up comedy. He has a biting sense of humor, that he had to keep in a bag, tucked in a corner of a locker in the back of a neighboring building while he was hosting Dinner and a Movie. Many may know him from his guesting on various podcasts and radio shows as his character Rep. Richard Martin. This character is a polarized version of a generic far right congressman out of Ohio.  It causes him much grief via the twitters because many people don’t quite understand the concept of satire.  Some others of you may also know him from his most current on-going project, The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast.  This podcast is a series of very candid conversations with mainly creative types in the entertainment business about mental illness.  It is an amazing podcast and should be required listening for anyone looking to go into the crazy ass entertainment industry.  
 
This podcast, while amazingly interesting and wonderfully engaging, poses a problem for me asking 20 questions… In many ways, Paul Gilmartin’s life is a pretty much an open book. This will make asking very interesting questions that have not been covered a rather difficult task to be sure.
 
Paul has graciously given me permission to ask him 20 questions… so let’s get to it. Onto the Questions!
 
So, you have mentioned on your podcast and other podcasts you have guested on, that you play hockey… Question 1: What position do you play? and why that position?

Hockey.  Awesome.  My favorite subject (other than me), and this is even better because I get to talk about hockey AND me.  Let me ease my pants off…there we go.

I play defense.   Three reasons:  you don’t have to skate as hard as forwards do; you don’t have to be as creative with the puck; you tend to be more of a reactor than an initiator.

Players with crazy-good stickhandling skills tend to be forwards.  With defense, it’s more reading opposing players well and knowing their tendencies, you can be really efficient with your energy and don’t have to be in great shape.   I’m 48, so I’m not going to be able to blow past a 20 year-old, but I’m a little tubby, so if he’s trying to blow past me, I can step in his path and let my tubby do the talking.   In a nutshell, defense is a great position if you’re observant, out of shape, not great at scoring and enjoy collisions.

Great answer.  My room-mate in college for my freshman and sophomore year played hockey as a forward… oddly he played with stand-up comedian Steve Byrne for the club hockey team at Kent State.  Since he played club hockey and not varsity he had to store his equipment in our dorm room…. oh, god the smell.. sweet jeebus, the smell.  Question 2:  Where does your wife allow you to store your, I assume, dank, smelly-ass equipment? (cause seriously, she may not have all the power in the relationship {she might} but I imagine she at least has veto power on where your sweaty, odoriferous, bacteria ridden equipment should be stored) on the other hand…. since you play in the adult league, are you only wearing shins, knees, elbows, and gloves?

I keep my equipment in the garage.  There are few things on the planet that smell worse than hockey equipment, especially gloves.  That’s why NHL guys rub the palm of their gloves in opposing players faces when there is a scrum.   They call it a “facewash”.    I wear full gear, including shoulder pads, which some guys don’t wear, and a cage on my helmet, which isn’t mandatory either.  I’ve seen too many people sustain serious damage to their faces.  Lost teeth, detached corneas, you name it.   In fact one time I accompanied a teammate to the hospital and watched him get 80 stitches in his scalp.  He had taken his helmet off during warmups and a stray puck hit him.   I’m shocked that anybody can play without a cage or a visor and not be worried.

God, I wish I had a garage to put John’s equipment in for those 2 years… Seriously, that would have made all the hockey worth it. Question 3: When and where did you learn to play hockey?  Was it a Chicago thing? Because Illinois is not really a hotbed for hockey, is it?

I learned to play hockey on the frozen ponds in the Chicago winters.   I was never given instruction as a kid, so I just picked up what I could by watching other kids.  Hockey was popular in my neighborhood during the winter, but it was not played by many people during the summer months in ice rinks.   

Chicago is actually a pretty big hockey town.  The Chicago Blackhawks are one of the original 6 NHL teams and have had a couple of heydays in their 80 year existence.  Right now, they are in one and probably as popular with Chicagoans as any of the other sports teams.   Their games have been selling out for a couple seasons running.  Unusual for any American hockey city.   Definitely helped by the fact that they won the Stanley Cup in 2010.  Ending a 49 year drought.

Interesting, if asked I would not have mentioned Chicago, off hand, as a hockey town. In retrospect, it makes sense, but I would have picked Michigan and Minnesota before anywhere in Illinois.  Anyway… I usually ask this as question 11, but it feels really natural here.  I was born in Oklahoma City, OK.  I moved to Montgomery, AL, and then grew up in Birmingham, AL.  I went to undergrad in Kent, OH, and then settled in Columbus, OH.  Question 4:  What is your geographic history?

Chicago, Bloomington Indiana for college, back to Chicago, then to Los Angeles, where I currently reside.

I got my MA in geography, so this answer always intrigues me. So you moved from Indiana directly to LA.  Question 5: If I remember hearing correctly on your podcast, you got your degree in theatre, and you pretty much transitioned directly from Chicago (if you don’t count college time in Bloomington) to the heart of the entertainment industry,  when did you know you wanted to be in the business called “show?”

I moved from Chicago to Bloomington (81-86), graduated, then back to Chicago for seven years (87-94) before moving to LA in 1994.   I knew I wanted to be in show business by the time I was about 10 or 12, and would watch the Tonight Show and think being either Johnny Carson or one of the stand-ups was the coolest thing ever. I didn’t get the nerve to try performing until my senior year of high school by hosting the talent show.   I was pre-med at IU and my roommate talked me into signing up for a campus comedy competition.   I took an acting class to overcome my stage fright, fell in love with acting and stand-up and changed my major my junior year to theatre.

Interesting.  It is amazing how talent shows are kind of the gateway to performance. That being said, I did stand-up for my elementary school talent show in 3rd and 4th grade (or was it 4th and 5th?), and now I work for the state putting points on a map where the state has dug holes in the ground.  I wonder if I had done that for the high school talent show if I would have pursued it more now.

So, on a different tract, Question 6: Correct me if I am wrong, but you have been married for a good long while.  Where did you meet your wife, and how did that courting process work?

Met her when we were both doing standup in 1987 in Chicago.  Kind of a typical dating process. Moved in together in 88. Got married in 95. Still together. Oh, and she began feeling dead inside towards me in 89.

So it was the basic story.  Boy meets girl.  Boy tells girl bad joke. Girl Tells boy better joke. Boy realizes he is out of his league and vows to drag girl down to his level by hoodwinking her into some form of relationship so there is balance in the universe. I’ve heard it a million times before.

So, Question 7: You have a relatively long relationship with your wife and that relationship has survived the equivalent of millennia in the entertainment industry, what aspect of a long term relationship surprises you most? For example, my wife and I have found that, even 14 years in, it is still active and taxing work to maintain a healthy level of communication, worth it, but still work.

I’m not sure if anything surprised me as I didn’t really know what to expect.  But I would say that the cliche is true. Communication is the most important thing, and also knowing how to do it with diplomacy and love, even when I’m angry.  And of course I’m lucky to have someone who genuinely makes me laugh.

When my wife and I got married, she was studying to become a therapist.  Needless to say, communication became a necessity in our relationship.  For much of our early marriage, we even had a formalized times to sit down and talk with each other.  It was amazingly useful in really building a good foundation for our marriage. That being said, the person who genuinely makes you laugh is super important.  Which leads me to one of my mantras: “Funny over nice.”  When there is a choice between being funny and being nice, I usually go with funny.  My wife’s family has another mantra/motto that we constantly referred to is “Don’t let the fuckers get you down.” Question 8: Do you have any mantras?

Mantras.  Hmmmm.  I suppose a few are. Treat others as you’d like to be treated. Sometimes its good to keep your opinion to yourself. You can’t change people, only your reaction to them. If you’re stuck in the past or the future, you miss a lot of good stuff that’s happening right now. Take responsibility seriously but not yourself.

…Oh and never go to Vegas for longer than 48 hours.

All good mantras to hold onto.  Even though I have never been to Vegas, the 48 hour rule is probably the best rule-of-thumb I have heard in a while.
In a similar vein as the mantra question.  When I played soccer and fenced in college there was a ritualizing of how to prepare for a match that bordered on superstition. Question 9: Do you have any rituals for getting yourself prepared for doing stand-up or for doing appearances as your neo-con Representative character?

No rituals.   Just look over any notes or new jokes I want to work in.    Sometimes before I go on as Richard Martin, I talk in his voice while I wait in the wings.   The sound of his voice has a lot to do with how he smiles, and sometimes when I’m improvising answers as him, I forget the smile and lose the voice and it sounds like my voice instead of his.  Oh, and I sacrifice a welfare baby while I listen to smooth jazz.

Firstly, let me say, “smooth jazz?  You are a monster!”  

A few days ago on the Twitters you wrote “Engaging in my favorite Xmas tradition. People ask me how I’m doing, and I lie.” and I glibly replied something to the effect of, “could make it next question n the 20 Q’s Tuesday we’re working through.”  So Question 10:How are you really doing?

I struggle with my depression this time of year. That coupled with the fact that I’m having some problems with my psych meds. I’m having to do something I do quite a bit, which is to consciously tell myself that this is temporary, because it always is.    I know my shrink and I will get the med thing figured out, but in the meantime, there isn’t a lot of vigor for life or natural enjoyment of things. Just waiting it out. Feeling blah. Not horrible, just blah and tired of feeling blah.

Now, we are speaking my internal language (careful all five of you readers, it is about to get real, bitches!). I find that my depression is worse during the October time period more than the holidays. I think this has to do with my allergy to leaf mold coupled with a generic genetic predisposition to depression. It also rears its ugly head more around my birthday in June, but that is because of a particularly traumatic event that occurred on my 19th birthday.  The holiday season tends to be a very joyous time for me because everyone in my family around me tends to be insanely exuberant during this season.  Since you are in SoCal, I cannot imagine it is simply seasonal affective disorder.  Question 11: Is it the holiday season that triggers this level of dysthymia or do you have a different idea as to why the blahs come around in December.

I don’t know why it comes around this time.  Maybe the shortened days.  Maybe the reminder of the feeling that I should be happier around the holidays, and feel kind of broken as a result.  Or maybe residual feelings from my dad hitting an alcoholic bottom in 1992 right around Xmas.   But I remember feeling mixed up about Xmas even before that.

Question 12: So, how big of a liar do you feel Andy Williams was when he wrote the lyric “It’s the most wonderful tiiiiiime of the yeeeeeeear!”?

I think he should be sentenced to variety show jail for perjury.

So, speaking of Christmas songs, my two best friends have been having an argument about Christmas tunes since we were in high school.  Question 13: Bing Crosby or Burl Ives?

Bing Crosby.

That was a quick and easy reply, “Silver and Gold” and “Have a Holly Jolly Christmas” don’t sway your position?  My bet is you picked Bing so fast because of the weird duet with David Bowie.  Question 14: back to the mental health stuff… How long have you been doing therapy, how long have you been on meds, and how many meds have you tried so far? People, I think are under the false assumption that they can just take prosac and the depression goes away…

I started therapy around 1990.  I’ve been going on and off since then.  I’ve tried about a dozen different meds and settled on three that usually work.   I’ve been on meds since 2000.

You give, so I give. Since my wife was going to be a therapist, it was mandantory that I go into theray… It helped so I have kept at it as needed. I started therapy with my wife, then girl-friend, as a couple’s counseling thing back in, I think, 1995 (definitely by 1996), and have been doing individual therapy off and on since then. I started anti-depressants I think in 1998 or so, went off for a while and am back on them again.  So far they seem to be working well enough.  I actually have some motivation now.  I think that some people are under the misconception that all therapists are good, and if the therapist they are seeing doesn’t work for them therapy never will work for them. I have seen four counselors total, and of those four two were really good. Question 15: How many counselors/clinicians/therapists have you been through in you 21 past years of therapy?

I’ve seen three different therapists and three different psychiatrists.

Question 16: Did you have a good rapport with all 6 of them or were some of them not quite a good match?  If they were not a good match, how so?

The therapists were good matches.  The first two psychiatrists weren’t helping me ease my depression.  The third did by addressing my alcoholism.  He refused to see me unless I quit drinking.

Ah, we are now into the rote questions at the end of all of my 20 Questions Tuesday interviews. Turn about is fair play, and I feel it is rather unfair to not allow you to ask me anything.  Question 17: With all of the topics we gave covered are there any questions that you want to ask me?

What do you do for a living?

Well I will be a little circumspect about this, just because I do not want my current employers to be able to do a super-simple Internet search and find this particular post.

I work for the geotechnical engineering section for the state Dept. of Transportation. I am the a Geographic Information Management Sciences specialist. I am in charge of all the geographically referenced data within our fine state that the DOT has collected. These collections are primarily done through digging bore-holes. The big project that I am currently working on is about getting all of our historic data (napkin drawings done in the 30’s in some instances) digitized and searchable both spatially and as a typical database. It is akin to watching paint dry.  I listen to probably 30 hrs of podcasts every week. I spend much of my time watching progress bars slowly creep across my screen, whether it is some complex query or instruction for a program to do, or just copying 303 Gb of data from one server to another. As you can tell, I am really quite passionate about it.

Then here we are at Question 18: Anything I should have asked you but I haven’t?

Not that I can think of.

Because this is clearly the best most complete set of questions you have ever dealt with.  To continue the wind up…

Question 19: How can people find you and follow your comings and goings on the interwebs?  Is there a specific place that you would want new people to start with? 

Well the thing I’m most involved in is the podcast, so I would say that site, www.mentalpod.com  I don’t keep up my paulgilmartin.com site but there are clips of my standup if people want that. Same for the site with my satirical character Rep. Richard Martin.  His site is www.askarepublican.com.     And I have three Twitter accounts. One for me @gilmartini  one for the podcast @mentalpod  and one for the character @ohiocongressman.

I can attest that all 3 twitter accounts are fun, and fun in different ways.  If you are on the twitters everyone, give Paul a follow.

The last and final question.  It has been a long and fun ride these past few weeks worth of emails, and I have honestly and thoroughly enjoyed this conversation. Question 20: Did you learn anything new about yourself or did you come upon any insights about anything due to these 20 questions?

Can’t say I learned anything new about myself, but I’m a slow learner.   Thanks for taking an interest in me and the podcast though!

Well, I have to say that this has been an unabashed pleasure.  Again I want to thank Paul for taking time to chat with me via the emails.  This is, sadly, not a light undertaking, and to anyone who has done this with me, again I think you for taking the time.  If anyone wants to do a 20 Questions with me, or to ask me questions leave a comment.

To recap:
Paul Gilmartin is a bad ass and I will hear nothing else about him
I am lucky to have the wonderful family I have
Check that
I have worked very hard to have the wonderful family I have
I am lucky to have met each of the parts of my family
Have a safe and happy holiday
I finished the shopping for the holiday last night..
Now I just have to wait for all the stuff to be shipped
It better get here prior to Sunday
All my online orders were done last week
It is Santa vs ______ over at Ten Ton Studios’ Sketch Challenge this week
Come by and take a look
I am drawing mine tonight and I will finish it tomorrow
Have a great weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 179 - Gifting

Well, it is Tuesday again and I am writing this here post.  Turns out that today the wife is out of town in Boston and the youngest kid is in ill and I am at home with the sickun.  She is sniffly and congested with a very low grade fever.  No biggie.  She is chomping on some BBQ potato chips and drinking some OJ.  I am quite the parent.  In my defense the chips are kettle cooked.

Today’s topic is Gifting.  Thanks this week go to Lord Pithy, Dr B Dawg, Nadolny, and Some Other Guy.  Onto the questions!

1. When your spouse says something like, “Let’s not give each other gifts this year. We already have so much.” How do you proceed? Is it better to disappoint or disobey?

I have made the mistake of not getting something “not on the list” for my wife, even when she said “Don’t worry about getting anything not on the list.”  I will always get a gift now, no matter what the fool woman says.

2. Put you and wifey in O Henry’s ”Gift of the Magi.” What would be your watch and her hair?

Hmmm… I have never thought of this one…  I guess I would have to sell some art supplies so that I could get her some vacation, and she would have to work through her vacation to get me some Bristol board.

3. Would you rather receive toe socks or a pedi-egg?

Toe socks… my feet are amazingly smooth and silky already. 

4. If Santa owed you a favor, what would you ask for?

I would ask for a ride on the sleigh… that sounds rather dirty.

5. Have you ever laughed at a gift, only to find it wasn’t meant to be a joke? Describe.

Well, my grandmother on my dad’s side always gives such inappropriate gifts and my parent’s are known for the “not-so-great” gifts.

6. Is there such a thing as a bad wrapped gift?

A badly wrapped gift? Or are you meaning a crap gift that has been wrapped?  Both are easily possible.

7. Are you a gift shaker?

Not since I was about 10. 

8. Do you prefer 1 big gift or a bunch of small gifts (assuming that both scenarios generated equivalent total happiness)

You know, as long as they bring the same total happiness, it doesn’t matter…. but they better bring me happiness, or there will be Hell to pay!

9. Oddest gift?

A quilted plastic Santa decoration door hanger.  It was Hawesome!!

10. Are you a re-gifter?

Very rarely, and typically only if we received a gift that is really high quality of something we just won’t use.  Think waffle iron.

11. Where do you fall on re-gifting?

As stated previously, as long as one is not re-gifting just to get rid of crap, is not necessarily a bad thing.  It becomes a bad thing when the re-gift is not thoughtful or the quality of the gift is crappy.

12. Ever re-gift something where the person who originally gave it to you found out?

Not that I know of.

13. Worst gift ever received? (OK, everyone asked that I’m sure).

A cheap green vinyl tablecloth that reeked of tobacco pipe smoke.

14. Best gift ever received? (How’s that for an original questionee)

The Looney Tunes Chess set… it was a back handed gift though, but that is a story for a different time.

15. If the great gift is giving, why are we being so selfish and sticking it to all these folk who must live with the second greatest gift (known as receiving). Aren’t we just damn selfish to be thrusting gifts upon our poor and unsuspecting friends.

I look at it as giving the gift of allowing them to give to me.  I am just giving in that way.

16. How many real gifts do the kiddies get?

Hmmm… a pretty good amount.  From Mama and Papa?  About 5 a piece, if I am remembering the lists correctly.

17. Does Wifey have something particular on her list this year that you aren’t able to procure?

Well, she is wanting an iPad 2, but we cannot spring for that cost at the moment. Maybe for Valentine’s Day, babe, maybe for Valentine’s Day.

18. What does Little Man want that he is just not getting this year?

Well, unless his uncle who is stationed in Germany comes through like a super-hero, either the LEGO Star Wars Super Star Destroyer or the Death Star.  Those both come in at $499.99 US.  No can do.  Wifey ain’t getting an iPad 2, and Little Man ain’t getting the Death Star.

19. What is on your list that you aren’t getting?

Well, I was hoping to have a new job by Christmas, but that is not happening.  Maybe by MLK Day 2012… keep your fingers crossed.

20.  Are you done with your Christmas shopping for all your gifts, this year?

Nope… In fact, I am off to Amazon.

to recap:
Little Woman is just a bit sick
Just sick enough to be incredibly whiny
Lucky me
Seriously whiny
I am currently making her some french fries
They are crinkle cut
You know the nutritious kind
After she eats it will be nap time
Crap I need lunch too
Have a great weekend, everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 178 - Contracts

My contract option with Job 2 was not picked up for the rest of the year due to some change that is taking place within that organization (new Executive Director coming in January).  It is not my preference to not be working there, but it is quite understandable, so no harm, no foul.  Alas and alack I am now professionally solely mired within Job 1… which is the suck.  regardless of my current employment situation, this non-renewing of my contract made me think of the idea of contracts. Therefore this week’s topic is an odd and obtuse topic of Contract.
 
Thanks this week go to  Lsig, Reilly Brown, Chris Ring, Ballpoint, Some Other Guy, and Brett Wood.  And no thanks go to Jason Baroody for not helping out at all.  On to the questions!

1. “Contracts” = part of “work”, “contractions” = part of “labor”. Coincidence?

Are you asking me if childbirth is work by using the transitive property?  Uh, childbirth is definitely work. 

2. What does it say about me that you mention “contract” and my brain fills in the word “killings”? (and what does it say about you that we are friends?)

Number 1: it says that you are one of the few people I know I will get along with
Number 2: it says that you and I most likely need significant psychiatric help.

3. Why isn’t a General Contractor someone who signs contracts with Generals?

By Generals, you mean the Washington Generals who play exhibition basketball games against the Harlem Globetrotters, Yes?  Well, that is a very small population to be able to claim that title…

4. Do you read the fine print in your contracts?

For service contracts and other typical run of the mill end user agreements for cell phone data plans and software EULA’s, no.  However, for contracts like mortgages or contracts for my work? Yes.  Does that mean that I understand what the fine print says?  Nope, it does not.

5. Do you think the small print gets upset about being just called “fine” all the time?

Well, when the print asked me… I think it would like to be known as “gorgeous” or “stunning” print or maybe even “that dress is hot and makes your ass look great” print, but in my obliviousness, I just said it was “fine.”

6. Would you rather be paid per hour, or per job?

For my fantasy and sci-fi mapping and illustration work, I tend to like using a hybrid approach.  I typically give a lump sum fee for the first x hours of work and then an hourly rate after that. 

7. What’s an offer you can’t refuse?

A request for work that I feel unable to turn down.

8. You’re best bet in handling a contract … Deathstroke or Deadpool*?

Well, it depends on whether or not they are the protagonist of the story or not.  If they are the villain, then I will not pick that character.  It seems that handling a contract depends primarily upon protagonistship.  As long as Deathstroke or Deadpool are the protagonists, I will take either of them.  If they are the antagonist…. that is a different story.

9. Whats the most serious ailment you have ever contracted?

I would have to say the full-blown flu.  1.5 weeks sick.  Yikes.  Either that or that evening I was throwing up and had diarrhea… that was a horrible night, but the flu lasted a week and a half.

10. What is the biggest contract you have ever been a part of?

Well, I think it was printed on legal paper.  That is 8.5 x 14 inches for you non paper literate people and 215.9 x 355.6 mm for my metric friends.

11. Expand or contract?

Well, sadly, weight-wise, I am expanding, luckily not geometrically (at the moment)

12.  Ever had a contract out on you?

Well, not that I know of.  If I have had a contract out on me to “do me in” it has been accepted by the most ineffectual assassins in the world.  Very easy to avoid… unless they have employed the use of deep fried dough and neufatal cheese… that stuff is sure to kill me.

13. How far in does your sphincter contract when you don’t get enough questions?

Actually, not getting enough questions is pretty old hat.  I will  let you in on  a little secret (since we are all friends here).  The Some Other Guy who often asks questions is actually me.  I fill in for the lack of questions pretty darn often.

14. How many contracts do you think George Lucas has signed or have been signed by his representatives?

Hmmmm…. Gonna go with 292,843.

15. What happened to all those contracts with the Indians?

I assume you are talking about the American Indians and not the East Asians or the American League Major League Baseball team based in Cleveland, Ohio.  Simple, the forked tongue devil broke all those contracts because we wanted their land for various reasons.

16. When do you think the the universe will start contracting?

I think that due to space eddies and the like, there are some places where it is already contracting, but on the whole I would say in about 25 billion years, but I am no cosmologist. 

17. Who do you think made the first contract?

I am going to go with the Babylonians for 500, Alex.

18. Have you read Will Eisner’s A Contract with God and if so what did you think of it?

I have not read that, so I really don’t have an opinion on it.

19. Everyone freeze!  I dropped my contact… the topic was “contact,” right?

Nope the topic was “Contract,” but thanks for playing.

20.  Have you ever wanted to put a contract out of anyone? Have you ever wished someone dead?

q1: Nope

q2: I can honestly say that I have never wished someone dead… I have tried black magic spells, voodoo, hexes, and more personal efforts, but I have never wished someone dead… They have died other ways, but I have never used my power of wish to finish someone off….

To recap:
*Deathstroke and Deadpool were drawn for Ten Ton Studios Sketch Challenges from a few years ago
Down to 1 job as of Dec 1
And I have been to the Gym 3 times already
It is amazing how much time I have now
I only have 1 drawing left for a client
I am going to get that 1 done this week
Wifey is heading out of town all of next week
Home the kids like burnt toast, day old pizza, and warm juice served in a dirty cup
‘Cause that’s what they are getting
Lots of good interviews in the works
People are busy… and stuff
Have a great weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 177 - Holiday Hangover

So last week was a holiday of gluttony, and that means that there is a period post-holiday that required to recover from the holiday… or as I have coined it the Holiday Hangover (editor’s note: someone else might have coined this phrase, but I am claiming it for the purpose of this blog).  So I have decided to make the topic all about the Holiday Hangover.  More explanation, you ask?  

Okay… here we go:   After a holiday there is always a down period where one has to re-insert themselves into the drudgery of their everyday life.  Where the holiday is known to be in amazing technicolor, it is now time to go back into the grey drudgery of everyday life…  Ergo the phrase “Holiday Hangover.”

Thanks this week go to ICYellow, Lord Pithy, Capt. McArmypants, Dr B-Dawg, Reilly Brown, Chris Ring, and Some Other Guy … onto the questions:

1. Mr. Expert, does Holiday Hangover include a time warp zone? It appears to speed up during days off and then crash to a halting snail’s pace come Monday.

I hardly consider myself an expert as much as I consider myself a trendsetter. Perception is an odd beast, and I do think that time is more variable than people give it credit.  I have often asserted that the flow of time is not strictly a straight line un-wavering propagation, but more of a non-linear looping and vacillating stream of time.

2. Why? Oh, why?

Because. Oh, why not?

3. “Hair of the dog” is the accepted cure for a regular hangover. What is the cure for this holiday hangover?

Tinsel of the Tree, Gravy of the Boat, Bow of the Gift… Not sure which one works best, but I am leaning toward Gravy of the Boat.  Please weigh in.

4. Why was I born beautiful instead of rich?

Not sure what this has to do with the Holiday Hangover, but I will play ball.  You are deluded, however, relatively correct.  Whislt not being exceptionally comely, and no where near beautiful, you are clearly not rich, by any means.

5. I don’t really care about the food of Thanksgiving. Shouldn’t I be allowed to trade turkey for another day off?

Thanksgiving is more than just turkey.  It is ham… it could be prime rib? Don’t limit yourself to seasonal fowl.

6. Actually, I’m excited to come back to work. Is that normal?

No… you are not normal, and this factoid is merely more confirmation of this fact.

7. Is the Holiday Hangover transition made more difficult for you when you factor in Christmas is right around the corner?  I mean is it really worth getting back up to speed since you will shift gears in a mere 31 days?

Nope, ask any drunkard, the best way to get rid of an actual hangover is to get drunk again.  So, the best way to get over the Holiday Hangover is to have another fete d’holiday (faux Francais pour la gagner)

8. Did you gluttonize to the extent that your body was rebelling and begging for a sensible meal or time it perfectly to where you want one more treat before going back to an appropriate adult diet?

Not anymore.  That is the old 35 year old me.  I now just eat to where I am pleasantly uncomfortable, which allows me to keep that level of uncomfortable fullness for a day or two.  This year, since we didn’t cook everything on our own, there was not a chance to overfill on the leftovers.

9. Do you get Holiday Hangovers after summer holidays or just the winter ones?

Since most summer holidays are a little less food based, the Holiday Hangover tends to be a bit less.  That and summer holidays don’t have the childhood carryover since one doesn’t have to steel themselves to immediately go back to school.  There is less of a cultural history of Holiday Hangover associated with the summer holidays.

10. Is there a cure?

Time is the only cure.

11.  What was the last Holiday Hangover that came with an actual hangover?

Wow… I would say it needs to go back to maybe 10 years ago or so?  I don’t remember exactly, but that probably means that I got seriously ripped up that holiday.

12. After how many meals do the leftovers no longer invoke holiday cheer?

2

13. Cyber-Monday. Really?

Preceded directly by Spam Email Sunday.  I got so many trash emails on Sunday.  I think that Cyber-Monday is short-sightedly ephemeral.  It should last for more than a day because it needs to be at least  a week.

14. How long before the Christmas spirit sets in?

From Thanksgiving? About .2 seconds… It’s the most wonderful time of the year…

15. Instead of holiday office parties, why can’t we just go home quicker?     

Less traffic? Higher speed limits?  Not sure I follow exactly… Just kidding, I think you mean “earlier.”  Yes, one should be able to jet earlier instead of hanging with the work doofusses

16. It is 65 degrees here with bright blue sky and green grass, so suck it grey drudgery. I guess that is not a question. Actually, this imperative is part of the Occupy movement. Consider your blog now occupied with imperatives until their vague non-demand demands are specifically met. Respond.

I hate you with green billious envy, jerkface.

17. How many times did you hit the “Snooze” button on Monday?

Well…. I didn’t hit the snooze button as much as re-set the alarm for much later.

18. Is marshmallow vodka a good idea, because it seemed like a good idea at the time?

Marshmallow vodka is quite possibly not a good idea ever.  In fact I would go so far to say that it is an Absolut Bad Idea.

19. Should they make a Hangover 3: Holiday Hangover to try and revitalize the sophomore slumping franchise?

Oh, God, No!  They should apologize for Hangover 2 and let someone else create a new comedy that is actually funny instead of trying to capture lightning in a bottle… again.

20.  Worst Holiday Hangover ever?

To tell the truth, Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, the very next day, you threw it away.  this year, to save me from tears, I’ll give it to somebody special… special…
uh, where was I?  Oh yes, Last year was particularly bad because I had no vacation hours and for the week between Christmas and New Year’s I was at work… alone.

To recap:
The gut was feeling really nastily this morning
Ant-Acids didn’t help much
There was a constant cloud around me like pigpen from the peanuts
Sadly it was not a dust cloud
Wifey thought about kicking me out of the house last night, if only for the fresh air
I have work I need to do
Sadly, it is at Job 2 that I have so much work that needs to be done
I am at Job 1 right now, with minimal boring tasks to do
I am completely over my Holiday Hangover
Suck it, Thanksgiving!
Your wonderful vacation/holidayness holds no power over me!
Oh, why? oh, why? Have you forsaken me Thanksgiving?
I need another hit of mashed potatoes
Have a great week, folks

20 Questions Tuesday: 176 - Thanksgiving (on Thursday.. whoops)

So, today, the fam is on the way to the first vacation in a long long time.  So we are vacating whilst having the Thanksgiving day festivities.  It is going to be a great time… that has been needed for a long long time.  Did I mention “long long time?” ….because you know, “long long time.”

Anyway… since it is a holiday week, I am breaking out the holiday tropes… The topic for this edition is, unsurprisingly, Thanksgiving.

Thanks this week go to: Guido, Lsig, Allrileyedup, Capt. McArmypants, and Some Other Guy.  On to the questions!

1. Whose house does your family usually go to for Thanksgiving?

We typically have the whole Thanksgiving thing at our house, with my family now and most, if not all of my family growing up.  This year, however, we are heading out of town and visiting with no one.  I think it is a welcome respite from the typical Thanksgiving hosting duties.

2. Whose job is it to kill “the bird”?

By “kill” I assume you mean either purchase or prepare.  Purchase?  Well, whomever goes grocery shopping that week.  Sometimes me, sometimes Wifey and sometimes the Ma-in-Law. Prepare? Never me, I hate touching poultry.  CANNOT STAND IT.  So either Wifey or Ma-in-Law do the bird preparations.

3.  Are you for, or against, putting up Christmas decorations prior to Thanksgiving? Personally, I’m against, I prefer my holidays one at a time.

One holiday at a time, please.  Now, we will put up decor the day after, often. This year it will be the week after Turkey-Day.

4. Is it tradition for you to eat absolutely as much as possible?  I try to have a little of everything, which turns into a lot of something!

Umm… I am not quite sure how to respond to this with something other than just a big ole “YES.”

5. Do you have any non-standard foods that must be part of your T-day feast?

Not especially.  We tend to stay pretty traditional.  Ham, Turkey, corn, green beans, mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, etc…

6. Do you call your turkey “Tom”? (I insist on calling ours Pablo. Pablo Pavo (Pavo being Spanish for turkey).

I think we only refer to the turkey as “the bird.”  Sometimes the “stupid bird,” or “that fucking bird in the bag.”

7. Who does the bulk of your thanksgiving cooking?

My wife and her mom do pretty much every bit of the cooking for the feast.

8. Do you go around and say what you are thankful for like they do on tv?

Yup, we all sit on one side of the table and try to avoid looking at the audience while we say what we are thankful for and watch clips from past episodes fade in and fade out.  Who doesn’t love a clip show?

9. Pumpkin pie? (I vote yes)

Hells yes!  With whipped cream, of course.

10. What is your favorite T-day tradition?

Umm… The eating of the foods. Is there any other tradition to look forward to?

11. How many T-day traditions do you have?

We really don’t have too many traditions, per se.  They mainly revolve around the food and the eating thereof.  So as a family we typically have 2.  The cooking and the eating…

12. Why does T-day get so shafted by Christmas?

Well, because Christmas also has a big meal associated with it, but, oh so much more.  There are gifts, and decorations, and carols, and TV shows, and wrapping paper, and trees, and lights, and food (often much of the same foods).  Plus, it is only a month away.  I am sure some people use Thanksgiving Day as a dry run or dress rehearsal for their Christmas Day feast.

13. What artwork has the children (or perhaps just one of them) brought home?

I don’t remember… I am a bad parent… maybe Little Man has done one of those turkey hands or something.

14. I am all for cultural appreciation, but I think sometimes we overlook the obvious. When eating partially fermented Bird Fetus with yolk still in the egg or pickled pigs feet or diet ice cream remember that people ate these things because they were starving not because they enjoyed it.  Which traditional Turkey Day treat do you give the maddest props to in terms of awful but still served at the table for the sake of TRADITION?

I think sweet potatoes or cranberry sauce would be the two that I think of.

15. Which traditional food be yer favorite?

Yaaarrrrr, Sausage stuffing be my favorite.  as long as it not be corn bread stuffing or too soppy, it be the blessed food of the seven seas, yarrrr.

16. Which tradition be yer favorite?

Tis, the tradition of nae touching the raw bird, that be my favorite, once ye gets past the traditional grub’n’eatings.

17. 24 NOV 11:  Looking forward to the main course or the Dessert more?  24 NOV 85:  Looked forward to the main course or the dessert?

This is a really interesting question.  I am currently really looking forward to the main course, whereas in 85 an 11 year old me was looking forward to spice cake with cream cheese frosting and pumpkin pie with whipped cream.

18. When you get “into the Holiday spirit” do you try focus on the “thanks” for what you have or the “giving” to others?

I think I am more concerned with the whole “giving” thing, mainly because I need to figure out what they want.  Piffle, who am I kidding? I am focusing on what I am getting.

19. Best Thanksgiving Day story?

Well, one year the Mom-in-Law (refered to as “M” in this story) invited her elderly neighbor whose husand had died previously that year, we will refer to her as “R.”  Little Man’s surrogate grandparents, brought their elderly Alzheimer riddled neighbor, let’s call him “J.”

J: M, Whatever Happened to that nice man who lived next door to you?
R: **Cries softly**
M: He died this year, R is his widow.
J: Oh, that’s terrible.  I am sorry for you loss, R.
R: **More crying**
—Ten minutes Pass—
J: M, Whatever Happened to that nice man who lived next door to you?
R: **Cries softly**
M: He died this year, R is his widow.
J: Oh, that’s terrible.  I am sorry for you loss, R.
R: **More crying**
—Ten Minutes Later—
J: M, Whatever Happened to that nice man who lived next door to you?
R: **Cries softly**
M: He died this year, R is his widow.
J: Oh, that’s terrible.  I am sorry for you loss, R.
R: **More crying**
—Rinse and Repeat ad Infinitum—

The best Thanksgiving story ever.

20.  If you weren’t able to spend your Thanksgiving at your house or at a relatives, where would you spend your Thanksgiving?

Oh, I think the fam and I would spend our Thanksgiving at a State Park resort in West by God Virginia.

To recap:
Wild, Wonderful
5 hours of driving in the rain
Through backwoods county roads
In the rain
Close to being serpentine 1 lane roads
I shouldn’t be dramatic
We stopped for 30 minutes for lunch
It was really 4.5 hours
I have to format this and get it posted
Have a great holiday, all you US folk out there
Have a great weekend everyone else
And I guess you US folk could have a great weekend too