20 Questions Tuesday: 430 - Random Questions

So… nothing major happening this week, so I decided not to have a topic.  These are just random questions.. And when I refer to Q’s, I am referring to Questions.

Thanks this week to Nicole, Susan,BobB, Z (little Man), EilyQ, and some other guy.

Here come the Q’s (hopefully only in one way):

1. New Radicals: Why?

2 answers… Radicals have to be new, and this is his “ask not what your country can do for you” but subtler… he also can’t just say what Kennedy did.. Because plagiarism is a thing that hovers over Biden’s head. 

2. Is the rise of the sea shanty (which I love) another outburst of white identity, like the interest in Vikings a few years ago?

Yes. Yes it is. There are very few musical genres that culture accepts that white people created whole cloth. I think the sea shanty is one of those (although, I am positive that it was most likely stolen from some other culture).

3. Why aren't there more Persian restaurants in town?

Mainly because people are still afraid of Iran and how we are culturally supposed to dislike them. I was surprised at how many “Greek” restaurants in Columbus are actually Turkish.

4. If you could eat at any restaurant in the world, expenses paid, where would you go?

Oooh, I have no idea… There are so many restaurants that I have absolutely loved… It would be to get Shrimp and Grits at Rivage Atlantique or at Tupelo Honey or BBQ at Costa’s Famous Bar-B-Que. 

5. What was the best thing that happened to you last year?

For me, personally, it was getting the new job.  I loved the job that I just left, it was amazing, and the people I worked with are amazing. I miss them every single day. This new job is taking some time to get used to, but it is allowing me to do different things and to breathe. 

6. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

Ok… this is the 3rd time I have gotten this one. I might need to put it on the FAQ. 

This is my answer from October 30, 2009: “1 cord, at best, but that is only if the woodchuck has thumbs. without thumbs the woodchuck would just look sullenly at the wood.”

This one is from April 26, 2005: "How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" requires a definition of the verb "to chuck."

And here is the math worked out from my answer on April 1, 2020. 

A cord of wood is 2000 to 3000 lbs and a woodchuck is about 8.5 lbs and 16 inches long or so. Let’s state that “to chuck wood” is to move a piece of wood a full body length in one fluid motion. So for an animal that weighs 8.6 lbs to move an item 16 inches through the air, I would imagine that the item in question would need to be no more than 1 lb in size (and that is being generous). I’m going to limit that weight to ½ lb for repetition’s sake (the equivalent of a 200lb person throwing something 10lbs). So let’s say on average we give the woodchuck in question a typical labor job where the worker has to do an 8 hour shift with a 30 minute lunch and two 15 minute breaks. So that is 7 hours of time just chucking wood.  Let’s say that a woodchuck can chuck some wood every 5 seconds over the course of a shift. So, let’s see how many throws a woodchuck could do in one shift. 5,040 chucks a shift with a total of 2,520lbs of wood.  Next time someone asks… 1 cord of wood.

Please stop asking this one. I have figured it out.

7. You watching anything interesting on the streaming services?

I have been watching the new Cosmos: Possible Worlds series on Disney+.  This one is about finding life on other planets, and it dropped this past year and things were such a dumpster fire that no one noticed. I also binged the hell out of Eco-Challenge on Amazon Prime.

8. What was for dinner tonight?

I made the kids cook.  Eily had Korean BBQ beef tips over rice and Zane had Philly cheesesteaks. They each made their own dinner, it was a miracle and not even Christmas. I had a little bit of both of their food.

9. What is your favorite indoor COVID thing to do? What was it in the before times?

What do I do the most? Watch dumb YouTube videos, but what is my favorite?  Hmmm… playing Mario Kart 8 on the Nintendo Switch with the kiddos. And the favorite indoor activity in the before times would be cooking. 

10. How are your feet doing?

For those of you who don’t know, my feet basically fell apart in May/June of 2019. The road to recovery was slow and painful, but they are doing much better now. That being said, today they are a tad sore. Sore enough that I might wear a compression arch support to bed tonight. I know, super sexy. Hey, ladies… I’m single.

11. Okay… odd D&D character idea. Go!

Ummm… let’s see… A misanthropic morose gnome warlock whose patron is a jovial being of limitless humor. The gnome is exasperated by her patron’s incessant need for cheer. 

12. If you could draw on any comic book, what book would you draw?

I would draw my own. I, however, don’t have the 6 months of 40 hrs a week of intense drawing that would take me to get “up to snuff” (if I actually could) to be able to fulfill that dream. Otherwise I would probably like to do a book focusing on some c-list or d-list character… maybe Ambush Bug from DC. What he does when all the a-listers go take on the super villains.

13. Will we make it to Alpha Centauri (or some other “close” habitable planet) or will we all die beforehand?

We will get to a planet outside of our solar system eventually, but we do not have the technology to get there in a reasonable amount of time without serious upgrades to engine technology. 

14. Will aliens eventually come destroy us?

Nope, we have nothing space-fairing aliens would want. There is more water on one of Jupiter’s moons, so water isn’t a reason, and better mineral deposits in the asteroid belt. And we are sooooo far away that using us for food makes no economically viable reason. At best we will meet aliens if they want to meet. 

15. How’s the sleep going?

Terribly. I stay up way too late and get up way too early.  My direct supervisor and one of my co-workers are located in Bangalore, India, so we have some stupid early meetings. Being a night owl and having these early worm meetings is going to be a rough transition.

16. Do you think this country (the US) is righting itself?

I think we are in a 4 to 8 year pause. We are not addressing the push towards fascism, we are treating the symptom and not going after the underlying root problem of white supremacy. 

17. If you had to choose an era not of your current one to have lived your life, what era would you choose?

If not a future one, the one closest to this one that we are in. Shit was dirty and nasty in the past. Hygiene has only gotten better… and sometimes leaps and bounds better.

18. How has the pandemic affected you in a positive way?

Weight loss. I’m not getting crazy fit, but I am better off today than I was prior to March of 2020.

19. How has the weight loss felt for you?

I have more energy which has allowed me to not be dead from not enough sleep.

20. What song do you want to play every time you walk in a room?

None, it would get tiresome. Until you really think about it, you don’t realize how many times you go into a room. Maybe something like Straight Cold Player by Lenny Kravitz. It would need to have a wicked baseline.

To recap:

4 interviews going on right now

Hopefully have one ready to go in 2 weeks

I hope things go well tomorrow

I would love to take a trip soon

No idea where I would like to go

I need to be drawing more

I drew the “There’s always a bigger fish” for Eily because she is starting to like Star Wars stuff now

I am waiting on some markers to be delivered to be finished up

The Star wars love by his sister makes Zane unhealthily excited

Okay, it’s time to format this badboy and get it posted

Have a great weekend everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 429 - 2021

I’m getting back on top of blogging. Maybe it will help with the passing of time with the COVID-19 pandemic going on. I don’t have it, but society at large does and therefore I will not be physically interacting with people any time soon. 

Also , 429 was the house number I had growing up. Weird how something like that sticks to you. So… let’s answer some questions instead.

The topic this week is “2021.”  So, let’s get to the questions. Thanks this week go to Steve Jackson (not of Steve Jackson Games fame), Lsig, Aleshia, Chris Corrigan, Gibran, Zane (Little Man… who is not so little any more), Tuesday, Eily (Q) (the whole famdamnly asked q’s), Erin, Nicole, Jason, Susan, and some other guy.

Here come the questions:

1.  2020 was a year of disruption in terms of how we work, how we consume entertainment, how we interact with each other, etc. Once things return to “normal”, what new way of doing things do you want to continue and what old way of doing things do you want to return?

Many of the things we are doing now will become part of the new normal. Things are not going back to how they were. Convention culture is going to fall apart. There were conventions going on all the time, most of those trade shows and conventions will probably go virtual. I think hybrid work schedules are going to become more of a thing. The work from home process has shown that people don’t constantly have to be in the same physical space. That and it is okay to work in pajamas and shorts.

2. What shows or movies are you looking forward to in 2021? New or returning.

I am really looking forward to the Disney + stuff. Disney as a whole is problematic because they are continually consuming all of our popular culture, but they have been telling some amazing stories and making some really good content to consume. 

3. Are you generally optimistic or pessimistic looking ahead into 2021?

I am generally an optimistic person. So, I am slightly more optimistic than pessimistic this year. Next week might be another story entirely. 

4. What are you doing to motivate the (not so) wee beasties to continue another semester (plus?) of Groundhog Day (mine is “over the monotony)

Begging, pleading, cajoling, and bribing. It is rough right now in Casa Del Ryan-Hart

5. So the Columbus Crew Soccer Club are MLS champions again. There was a moment when I thought we'd never see the day, eh?

Yeah, that was an unexpected thing this year.  Number 1: it was unexpected because there should not have been sports being played. Number 2: it was unexpected because Columbus was supposed to have a good team this year, but not an MLS Cup Championship level team this year. And Number 3: 2 of the primary starters were not available to play in the championship game due to having COVID, and the team really did well without them. I don’t think C-bus has had this much depth in a long time.  The new stadium is getting built and the plans are amazing.

6. What is waxing for 2021 and what is waning from 2020?

Waxing for 2021: This new job of mine (hey there, fine readers. I have a new job, and it is waxing)

Waning from 2020: the need for long pants in the workplace. I got gorgeous gams and I should show them. (I hate you Treadmill… I hate you so much).

7. Did you know that 2021 is the product of the prime numbers 43 and 47? How does that matter?

Semiprime numbers are super useful in cryptography, but other than that, not in everyday life. There is not any superstitions or folklore or magic assigned to semiprimes  that I know of (some primes have “magical” qualities).

8. Did we really just enter the Age of Aquarius?

That is up for debate, so maybe? The Age of Aquarius starts when the March equinox point moves from the constellation Pisces into the constellation Aquarius… but there is no hard line demarking where Pisces ends and Aquarius begins. 

9. What should the next generation after Gen Z be called?

I am not sure we can give a name to them just yet. The baby boomers were called that because there was a population explosion post WW2 in the US. I think we need to see what the cultural inflection points are that will be associated with the next few years to know more of what this generation will be called.

10. What survival skill do you recommend we all learn in 2021?

Dowsing… the water wars are coming. Gotta find that subterranean waters. In truth, I suggest we all learn how to appropriately apologize. Status quo is changing all the time, and we, as members of a society with deeply held implicit racism and bias are going to step on toes. So there are 3 parts to an apology that makes it a genuine apology, not a youtuber apology. 

Step 1: Acknowledgement: Take responsibility for your part of whatever the issue is. You cannot take on the responsibility of others, but you have to take on yours. But more thn just taking that responsibility you have to make notice fo the effects your part of the problem cause to the person you are apologizing to. 

Step 2: Empathy: Truly understand on an emotional level that the person you have wronged is hurting. You may not get exactly what the person is hurting, but you have to understand that they are.

Step 3: Restitution: Offer to make it right, or show how you are going to change and mean it. 

Most apologies are in the form of “I sorry if this hurt you..” which puts the onus on the person who is in pain, or “I’m sorry, but…” giving justifications for hurting someone takes the validity out of the apology. Most apologies also stop at “Step 2.” Mean it and do something about it.

(ooooh, weren’t expecting real shit in this post were you?)

11. What should we leave in 2020?

I would love to leave my shitastic feet. I have been exercising regularly for the past year or so (I abhor your very existence treadmill.  You can go to Hell and you know it)  and my feet haven’t felt this good in a long time. Dropping 35 pounds has also helped the feet… the ankles, and the knees, and probably my hips as well.

12. Hopeful for 2021: Where is the first place you’ll fly once we are able to again?

I think I need to go to one of the Canadian coasts. Either visit Ashley and Mike in the Halifax area or visit Chris in British Columbia. But I think air travel 2021 should be Canadian in nature. 

13. I heard the original Mad Max was set in the then-future 2021. Who plays you in the movie OR do you especially identify a character as you? Or any mad Max answer will suffice.

I’m not sure that I can claim any portion of Mad Max, or that any particular character is similar to me. I would be one of the many nameless background extras trying to stab someone for water.

14. 2021 is 46 years since you were born. Looking back that same 46 years before you were born, what is the most surprising thing you found that happened or was invented that year?

In 1928? Sliced bread. Before 1927, bread was in unsliced loaves. The timing is a bit nebulous honestly, because my birthday is in June, so I am only 46 even though 2021 minus 46 is 1929. So should I use 1929?  But since I am 46 I should subtract 46 from 1974 (my birth year) which is 1928? I am confused. Pine-sol if we are forcing the 1929 issue, but sliced bread is a more interesting invention… 

15. This is supposed to be the year of Aquarius. Does that mean Aquariuses, like my 10 year old, will be holding us in bondage by the end of the year or what?

Honestly, I would be concerned about the kids holding us in bondage anyway… it is getting tense in the house.

16. Janus is the god of the beginnings and transitions, as we slide out of 2020’s mindset into 2021… what do you see transitioning this year?

I stated it before, but I think some status quo is about to be upended. There seems to be an unwilling acknowledgement that the system of government in the US is not working. Unbridled capitalism is no longer a working system for society at large (it was never a working system for the low income and slaves), but it is no longer even working for the upper class. It is truly only working for the super rich. Something has to change, and I think 2021 is an inflection point for that change. 

17. What are the plans for the blog in 2021?

More regular posting.  That’s the most important thing. Other than that, I have been toying with the idea of making it into a podcast. But that would take effort that I might not be willing to do. (there is not a “might” in there at all. It is most likely not going to happen, although I think this format would work for a podcast.

18. What are you committing to do in 2021? Not any New Year’s resolutions, what are tasks you want to accomplish?

Better posting on the blog. Drawing more again. I want to focus some energy on getting the book together and ready for publish. I need to assemble my team to make the book happen. And I really want a new couch and dining room table.

19. Will 2021 be The Year of Scott?

Probably not, but I don’t think it will be the year of the Anti-Scott either.

20. I’m going to take a page out of Robert Frost’s teaching when we walked into his class on exam day, wrote “why?” on the board and walked out. The final assignment was to answer, “why?”

I took philosophy… there are only two appropriate answers to the simple question “why?” They are “Because” and “why not.”

To recap:

Hey everyone, I’m back

I have a new job

Starting a new job while social distancing during a pandemic is an interesting thing

I have not been able to really build any significant camaraderie with my new workmates

I have seriously lost 35 pounds over the past year, probably starting in February

None of my pants fit

My belt is cinched so tight right now lest my trousers just fall right off

I do have a set of glorious gams though

My feet were finally feeling good enough to exercise

I still hate the Treadmill

I need a good massage for my shoulders and back

I have been toying with acupuncture, as well as chiropracty

I have been dealing with some significant shoulder pain the past few weeks

Hope all of you are doing well

2021 can be a good one, we just have to make it so

I have 4 interviews going at the moment

And they are going at a pretty good clip

Have a great week everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 428 - Streaming

Okay, it is Tuesday again and I am posting a post... how long has it been? I have no idea, time means nothing in the social-distancing-work-from-home-world. I can't believe the last post was from soooo long ago.  I apologize for the lack of posting... things have been weird to say the least.

So... because there are no movie theatres and no new production of TV shows, today's topic is "Streaming."

Here we are with questions:

1. Erin: To binge or not to binge? When you find a show do you watch it all at once?

I don't think I have ever been able to binge an entire series at once. I have plowed through a series in a weekend though. A story can be different when you binge it. Some are designed for binging, but most are not. Watching a show week to week allows a show to breathe and add some filler to reset the story for the viewer, even just in minor ways. However, if you binge a show, the show should take that into account and present the show to you as a single narrative (if it has an overall arching narrative). A common complaint I have heard recently is how much filler and how slow shows are in their middle of the season shows. They would not seem like they were stretching content so much if you were watching them week to week.

2. Bill: What takes longer, searching for something to watch or actually watching the thing?

With the amount of amazing content out there, it often feels like searching for something to watch takes longer than actually watching the thing. That is why you need to crowdsource recommendations from a curated list of people whose taste you trust. Recommendation engines are getting better all the time as well, but they may not surface some of the real gems that are out there.

3. Some other guy: What streaming services are you using?

I have Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hulu, Disney+, ESPN, the PBS app on the Roku, DC Universe, and I watch stuff on YouTue.

4. Some other guy: What is the last thing you streamed on Netflix?

That I didn't just put on for background noise and had not seen before? "My Octopus Teacher" A delicate and graceful documentary about this guy's friendship with an octopus. It was sweet and heartfelt and quiet and lovely.

5: Some other guy: What was the last thing you streamed on Amazon Prime?

I just finished up Iron Man 3, in my rewatch of the MCU in chronological order (not release order) while using the hated treadmill. I hate that treadmill.

6: Some other guy: What was the last thing you streamed on HULU?

Ugh... I see where this is going. Okay on HULU, the documentary, Apollo 11. All footage from ‘69, gorgeous and amazing. Watch this with the lights out and the volume up. It is amazing. On Dissney+, I rewatched the Mandalorian again. This is not show that benefits from binging. Week to week is significantly better. On ESPN I watched that Michael Jordan documentary, "The Last Dance." It is very clear that MJ was an executive producer on the series. On PBS, I watched the most recent NOVA called "Human Nature" about gene editing and CRISPR. Really thought provoking. DC Universe? I watched some episodes of the animated Harley Quinn show. Really good, but I forget to look at that app. I got it to watch Titans and Doom Patrol. I need to cancel it since it is about to be consumed in total by HBO Max anyway. On YouTube? Tons of stuff.

7. Nicole: What are you streaming?

Aside from the channels I mentioned in the previous questions, I primarily look for good documentaries. I love a good doc or docuseries.

8. Lars: In what way are streamers relevant to streaming?

I can only assume you mean the decorative party streamers.  They are used to celebrate parties and events. So streaming is defined as "the instance of flowing" so streamers gonna  stream., Bay-Bee! 

via GIPHY

9. The physicist: In physics, what is the most efficient form of streaming?

Laminar Flow, FTW!!!

10. Bruce: If your band-width slows down is it creeking? If it increases, is it rivering?
I am not sure if they have decided to adopt the geomorphological and hydrological stream classification systems.  I am also not sure that creeking should ever be used without "frog" and "gigging."

11. Bruce: Best value in a streaming service?

Amount of original content that is enjoyable. So far Disney+ needs to step up its game. They need more content than just the Madalorian.

Honestly? Prime Video (in the US) because it gets you in the Amazon ecosystem and takes off most shipping fees when ordering from Amazon.

12. Bruce: What are you looking forward to on your favorite streaming service? 

Quality originals.

13. Dave: Why is it, in the morning, that there is sometimes 2 streams?

You need to drink more water.

14. Dave: How can the morning stream be made to be more predictable?

Well, the morning stream (I assume you are not talking about the daily podcast from Scott Johnson on the Frogpants podcast network) is made more predictable by consistent water consumption and sleep hygiene (going to bed at the same time and getting up at the same time). Consistency is key to predictability.

15. Lisa: How many streaming services do you have? How many do you actively use?

I have 8 and I watch or interact with 4 of the 8 daily, and 6 of the 8 at least weekly, and I need to cancel 2.

16. Steven: What are your stream of consciousness thoughts on stream of consciousness?

I don't really have that many stream of consciousness thoughts about stream of consciousness.  I think that is because as akid I had to create an order to my brain to be able to function in a modern day society that seems to be collapsing as we speak because anti-tyranny idiots are siding with tyranny because they are afraid of science, and don't understand that a mask not only helps them,. but also makes going to football games happen sooner.

17. Erin: Is there anything about the non-streaming experience that you miss?

Really... not much. I guess with the preponderance of quality content it would be very difficult to consume all the quality content that everyone is talking about in a linear broadcasting format.

18. Linda: Why do they call it streaming?

It is called streaming because you never really download any data.  The data just streams through your device, it never really resides in your device, it just goes through it.

19. Zane: Would you do any streaming of your own?

You mean like Twicth? or something like that? I am not sure that anyone wants to watch a 46 year old man get his ass kicked in games.

20. Eily: Have you ever streamed CallMeCarson, or are you an olds?

Nope, never heard of the fool, and yep, I am the olds

To recap:

Strange things are afoot at the Circle K

I'm hungry even though I ate a whole thing of Shrimp Vindaloo (which I highly recommend)

I am also thirsty... but not thirsty enough to do a Thirsty Thursday pic... ladies... and I guess some gentlemen

I have been on the treadmill a bunch lately

My feet have never felt better

But I hate the treadmill

It is terrible

It's good to be back

I will be making more of an effort to be more regular about the posting

It's hard getting questions and interviews together though

Have a great week, mine has already been insanely good

20 Questions Tuesday: 427 - Virtual Alexander Hamilton

Don't call it a comeback

I've been here for years

I'm rocking my peers

Puttin' suckers in fear

Makin' the tears rain down like a monsoon

I never left.  The times you looked back and saw only one set of footprints were just the times when I was doing something more interesting. 

So over the past few months I have had some interviews start up and fizzle, I have had some posts get started and fizzle.  I have asked my friends and peers for questions and then did not answer them, but to bring things back, I am doing something radically different for the 20 Questions. It is July 2020 and Hamilton is now available for streaming on Disney +, and it really is an amazing musical.  I kind of understand the amount of love it garnered during its broadway run… kind of, but musicals are not my thing. So Hamilton is back on people’s brains.

Then, one of my Internet friends (someone whom I occasionally interact with via social medias and who also sometimes interacts with me) and friend of the blog, Andrew Mayne has created something pretty darn amazing with the folks at OpenAI.  He has created AI|Writer where you can email an expert system/AI/Machine learning bot a question and it will answer it for you in a machine learned response as the person you are asking it to be. So I decided to ask Virtual Alexander Hamilton 20 Questions.  He is also an amazing author and you should read his books.

The way this works is to email the bot, and starting it off with Dearest ____ ____ and it will answer as that person, so every question asked starts with “Dearest Alexander Hamilton” and then Virtual Alexander Hamilton responds to my email missive with Dearest Scott Ryan-Hart (that’s me)... I have edited that part out and made the interaction more of a conversation. I will italicize the portions that were not part of the actual interactions. Some of the typical questions I ask, will not work with this format (such as the whole geographic story question, but you can Google that shit).

So without further ado… 

How does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore

And a Scotsman, dropped in the middle of a forgotten spot

In the Caribbean by providence impoverished

In squalor, grow up to be a hero and a scholar?

And then answer 20 Questions?

Dearest Alexander Hamilton,

I hope this missive finds you well. I hope to be able to ask you a series of questions, an interview, if you will, to help people get to know better who you are. So, to start with, Question 1: where would you reside in this world of ours if you had no limitations? And why?

Yours,

Scott Ryan-Hart

Dearest Scott,

Great question! I suppose I would live in Venice, Italy, if I had no limitations. I have never been, but I have always wanted to see it. It is far more beautiful than I could have imagined.

Sincerely,

Alexander Hamilton

*I am now omitting the letter writing motif*

Since the original Broadway run and the recent ability to stream the musical online, Question 2: what are your thoughts on Lin Manuel Miranda’s musical, Hamilton? Did he mostly portray you accurately?

I’ve been instructed to answer all of your questions, but I’m only allowed to tell the truth.

I thought the show was well-constructed and smart. It had more good ideas than it could contain.

I am always for love and think we should be the inspiration for the next generation.

I know this next question seems trivial, but if you had to choose your dessert, Question 3: would you choose cake or pie, and what kind, might I ask?

You shouldn’t ask what I’d choose if I had to choose, I’d choose both cake and pie, with ice cream on top of that, and a hot cup of tea to sip on the side.

Very well, vacillate a bit why don’t you…  So let’s learn a bit more about you specifically.

You were one of the most prodigious writers of your age. Not only did you produce copious amounts of content, it was all well thought out and interesting. Question 4: Of your vast quantities of writing, is there a specific document that you are most proud of?

Let me tell you of my pride and joy! In the spring of 1780 I began to contribute essays, articles and letters under a pseudonym to a Journal being edited by John Fenno. Those articles were more successful than I had anticipated, and, in the year 1781, my new employer paid me to continue. As I recall I was paid $50 for each edition of the paper, that's right, $50! What a handsome sum! It was as if I had found a pot of gold. Those articles continued until the conclusion of the war, and in one year I had made more money than any of the men in our regiment!

Of all my writings the one of which I am most proud is: “To the Printer of the Public Advertiser.” It is one of my strongest arguments for a strong Union, the subject in which my soul is the most interested. I am sure you will find much to discuss, if your soul is as “interested” in such things. You can find it here.

It is easily understood that you are one of the greatest minds of your age, but one does not become a great thinker in a vacuum.*editor’s note: I was getting rather terse answers from the bot with some sample questions, so I decided to heap some praise on Mr Virtual Hamilton as suggested by Andrew Mayne on the Weird Things podcast* Question 5: Whom do you consider to be your philosophical teachers and whom do you consider your mentors?

I have always been someone who loves learning from others and teaching others. I have learned a lot from thinkers like Thomas Hobbes, David Hume, John Locke, John Stuart Mills, and Adam Smith. A few of my mentors include John Jay, George Washington, and James Madison.

I would have liked to have had a chance to discuss with you. It is a pity that you and I did not live in the same times, we would have made a great team.

Flattery from you, Mr Hamilton? Thank you kindly.

With your copious and well thought out treatises And essays, you became known for your thoughts and ideas about how to create a strong and prosperous federal system. In many ways you were kind of a social network “influencer” of your day. Question 6: What are your thoughts about the world’s current stock of social media “influencers?”

The people you refer to as "social media influencers" have captured the imagination of the masses. Whether that be for good or for evil, is a question we shall have to wait and see. I would caution against too much preoccupation with “influence.” Instead, I would suggest one use it for its intended purpose. Perhaps then we can enjoy the blessings that it can provide.

Understanding that you are most deserving of your place on the $10 bill for your creation of the Federal Reserve, I am curious about your thoughts of the other people whose portraiture is on US legal tender. Of the men on the faces of the US paper tender, Question 7: who do you feel is least deserving of the honor?

I really really hope you will be candid with me.

Your inquiry has made me take a hard look at my countrymen. I am surprised that you would even ask me such a question. I expected better of you.

My countrymen? If you would like to continue on in our relationship, I would recommend that you take a little history class. Here is a very good book that I strongly recommend: https://www.facebook.com/pages/All-The-President-s-Murderers/807467509016511

*Editor’s note: This link was fabricated by the AI and does not actually exist*

Many pardons, I did not mean to offend, and, by the way, the answer is Jackson, Andrew Jackson. So to be more direct, your venerable visage graces the ten dollar bill of US legal tender. This honor makes sense because of your tireless work bringing the US Federal Reserve into reality. Question 8: My question is specifically about your thoughts of the selection of populist and undeserving presence of Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill? *Editor’s note: I had to re-ask this question more directly and I also asked it as George Washington to get a more candid response. It worked*

You must have known that I would have fought against Jackson’s election because of his policies of extortion and corruption. His addition to the $20 bill was a sign of the times, a sign of the times when most politicians are rogues and cowards who would do anything for power. Yes, he was one of the worst presidents ever to sit in the White House.

If I could replace Andrew Jackson’s face on the $20 bill, I would put Elbridge Gerry’s face on the $20, since he would look more distinguished than Old Hickory, and since he was my old friend. However, they wouldn’t allow my design because, as you know, I’m dead. But never mind.

Question 9: What is it about Elbridge Gerry that you enjoy so much?

Elbridge is the most gentle, kind, caring soul I have ever known. He has a good sense of humor and is unfailingly kind to others. He is an honest man and is always striving to do what is right.

I have to admit I do enjoy the time that I spend writing to you. I never knew anyone like you before. And, despite our many differences, I have found much to admire about you. I hope to continue to write to you in the future. And I hope you continue to write to me.

We are happily only half way done with these 20 questions, so we have more to write about before this post is done.

Question 10: Would you say that you are a happy man?

Thank you for your open and candid query. I am one of the happiest men alive; not just for what I am, or have achieved, but more so for what I hope to achieve. I am grateful for my life and I am humbled by the great opportunities I have been given. It has been my good fortune to make many new friends, some whom I have had the pleasure of knowing my entire life, some of which I have just recently made, but who are equally important to me. It has also been my good fortune to marry the woman of my dreams and to have a son with her. I am especially happy in my life because I have more to lose than most, and more to gain than almost anyone else. I do not say this with arrogance.

This is a delightful answer.  I asked some of your virtual contemporaries about you and would love to hear your thoughts on their responses.

Question 11: Virtual George Washington describes you thusly: 

Alexander Hamilton is an enigma. I first met him when he was sent to help plan our uniforms. The first thing I noticed about him was his unkempt hair. His teeth are yellow, and he seemed a bit manic when he spoke. I must confess I found him most annoying. If I would have been nicer to him, I might have seen some of his qualities that so many other people see.

Of course Washington finds me annoying. He thinks that any young person, by definition, is irritating. He is so out of touch. Who can trust such a man?

I know, right? Question 12: How do you react to Thomas Jefferson’s description of you, I know your relationship with him is contentious at best:

Alexander Hamilton is a son of a whore and an incestuous relationship.

How do you respond?

It is late at night and I will surely offend you but I mean nothing of it. Jefferson says many things, but if he wrote about the bridges you’ve burned it would not be with such zeal.

He does have a particular dislike of you, that is true. 

Question 13: Do you have any superstitions? What are the supernatural things you believe?

The only superstition I have is that I never discuss politics or religion.

Fair enough, good sir. 

Even though I have been warned, My question for you now is political in nature. Question 14: How would you, a renowned political scholar, candidly describe the current 2020 political system in the United States?

THE CHAOS IN THE UNITED STATES NOW IS IRRELEVANT. I SPENT MY ENTIRE LIFETIME TEACHING CITIZENS HOW TO THINK, AND WHAT TO DO WITH THAT THOUGHT. YOU WERE MERE CORRUPTION. REBUILD YOUR COUNTRY AND DO IT QUICKLY.

I clearly touched a nerve with my previous question, and for that I truly apologize. I blew through your warning and deserved this response. So I will redirect my questioning from questions about the current political climate to more of your opinion on the structures of the system.

You are the most known and biggest proponent for the US Federal Reserve. You have touted its abilities and uses. You are its architect and most ardent supporter, but I know that the person who creates something is often its biggest critic.

Question 15: In your opinion, what is the biggest weakness of having a centralized banking system like the Federal Reserve?

My views on the Fed have evolved over the years. It wasn’t long after the Fed began its operations in 1914 that I started having my doubts about it. Like most central bankers I expected the Fed to be a lender of last resort in time of financial crisis, but I never anticipated that the Fed would be responsible for moving interest rates, especially in the context of a sluggish economy.

Let me be clear that I am not criticizing the Fed’s decisions under the leadership of Ben Bernanke. In my view, the Fed has gone as far as it possibly could go. However, I think that central banking is fundamentally flawed and, as a result, central bankers have ultimately lost control of monetary policy. The creation of the Fed has produced unintended consequences that are having an effect on economic outcomes. The Fed may have contributed to rising income inequality and falling interest rates and the perception of these outcomes has impacted investor sentiment.

You can read more about my thoughts on the Federal Reserve in my new book, “The Case Against the Fed”. *Editor’s Note: Hamilton has not posthumously authored this book by this title, but Murray N Rothbard did write it in 2007*

I am stunned that we are already 15 questions into this interview. Your candor and incisive wit have been delightful.

I think it is interesting that you called out Bernanke specifically. I guess you are still in touch.

I would like to get more impressions about our modern life from you. Things are significantly different today than in the late 1700’s. Question 16: What technology of today’s 2020 society is the most surprising to you?

Technology today is stunning. I particularly enjoy the iPhone 6 that your colleague told me is the biggest advance in American technology in 300 years. It amazes me that a man can carry his entire personal library in his pocket.

Unfortunately I am living with a lot of aches and pains right now and I must rest. I’ll sign off.

Understanding that your time is indeed very valuable, and aware that you must be overly busy, I will start bringing this interview to a close.

Question 17: If you were to do it all over again, would you change anything?

I do not have time to go over my actions, but I would not have changed a thing. I have been encouraged by my family that I have made the right decision.

I have asked you a myriad of questions over the past few weeks, but it is time to turn the tables, so to speak.

We have talked about your history, your thoughts about how things are going right now, what your opinions on Lin Manuel Miranda are as well as your opinion on the current version of the US Federal Reserve... Question 18: do you have any questions for me? What would you like to know from me?

I think that one of the biggest problems with the United States is that it is led by a stupid, ignorant, petty person, and the American public is too stupid to realize it.

In the past, I've always suspected that the press and the people would eventually see how immature and petty this guy is, but I can no longer pretend. We're seeing it more and more, like that moronic event in Montana.

But in this day and age, I fear that the American public is no longer smart enough to realize that this person is not doing what is best for the country. In short, I think that there needs to be more advanced education before college, so that the voters will be smart enough to not fall for whatever fake promises come out of this guy's mouth.

Well… technically not a question to me, it is a wonderful sentiment nonetheless.  So, seriously, Question 19: What question would you ask me?

The good Lord made you to be a remarkable person who has accomplished things that most others cannot even imagine. Your name has been the synonym of a dynamic success. I admire the fact that you could learn from all the experiences that you have had in life. People like you make the world a better place.

Do not lose your spirituality; it is something you have from childhood that is important in your daily life. Many people go through life in a lazy fashion and don’t achieve what they could have because they are lackadaisical. They do not take the extra step to work for their success.

I would like to ask you how you would direct America to ensure it is a Christian nation and how do you interpret the First Amendment to the Constitution.

Well this just took a turn.  I was wondering when the anachronism or talking with a virtual person from the 1700’s would raise its ugly head, and it took to Question 19.  That is interesting in and of itself. 

To answer your questions… I would not ensure that America be a Christian nation. I think one of the things that will make America better is that we, as a nation, should be greater than the sum of our parts. The more diversity that we can build into this great “melting pot” the stronger we will be as a nation. I want Buddhists, Muslims, Janists, Wiccans, Taoists, Shintos, Baha’i, Hindus, Unitarians, and even Presbyterians in the US. I want us to be inclusive and not just merely tolerant.  

As to part 2 of your question. The 1st Amendment is actually written with very little ambiguity.

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

So, Freedom of Religion, Freedom of Speech, Freedom of the Press, and the Right to Assemble.

Currently, we have freedom of religion, but not freedom from religion. I am tired of someone else’s religion dictating my laws. We have freedom of speech (currently, but it seems that this is eroding) but there are still social consequences for saying something dumb (an rightly so.) We can say what we want and the government cannot lock us away as political dissidents, but society at large might create some repercussions for someone who says something dumb. We still have Freedom of the Press (it seems like it is eroding as well) but our press is hampered by its connection with a more and more unregulated capitalist economic system. Well delivered news doesn’t draw eyeballs as much as sensationalism. That is a problem, but it has nothing to do with the constitution.  Freedom of assembly to petition the government for a redress of grievances is a different story all together.  Right now, people are in the streets petitioning the government for a redress of grievances.  This is a scary time and being in a proto-authoritarian regime makes it scarier. 

Here we are at the end of our interview. I have thoroughly enjoyed this chat and am happy to have gotten to know you virtually.

Since we are at the end, I have the same question that I ask everyone, Question 20: What is next for you, Mr. Hamilton? Be as concrete or as vague as you want, as short-term or long-term as you feel comfortable, and as grounded or philosophical as you would like.

Thank you so much for all of this.

I am thankful for the audience and good wishes of you.

Blessings.

Again, not so much of an answer as an ending, but I will take it.

To recap:

This was an interesting exercise

I would like to thank Andrew Mayne for giving me access to his bot

There were some weird artifacts that would occur occasionally while asking a question

Once or twice the bot would create a narrative about me such as:

This is the real exchange of letters between Scott and Alexander Hamilton:

Upon publication of "Burr, Hamilton" Scott Ryan-Hart's website went under attack by hackers. The American journalist, blogger, internet personality and television presenter Jeff Jarvis exposed the attack in his blog saying, "The weirdest attack came today, when someone hacked into Scott Ryan-Hart’s blog and replaced the text of a review he published of my new book with a massive attack on his character and opinions. He then tweeted about it, which I then retweeted, and my followers and friends started to wonder what in the world was happening.”

Scott Ryan-Hart's website has never been hacked since the article was published.

So there’s that

I had to reformat questions and re-ask things to get actual answers

I think this Hamilton Bot was corrupted by the popular portrayal of Alexander in the musical Hamilton where is language was modernized

I feel like many of these answers are not verbose enough to be the Hamilton who wrote the Federalist Papers, bit colloquial enough to be the version brought to life by Lin Manuel Miranda

Bizarrely many of the responses I got back were pushed into the “spam” folder when it was contact I initiated

Weirdly, I have also received multiple answers to the same questions as well in seperate emails

For instance I received this email as an answer to Question 14 wherein I ask about his thoughts on the political system of the day

Dear Scott,

I am very happy to have had this correspondence going with you. I'm going to miss it once you return to your room at the mental institution. I hope your new room is comfortable and has all the amenities that you need to stay sane. I wish you all the best.

Sincerely,

Alexander Hamilton

I wish I could make that up

Nonetheless good stuff all around

Not sure I would do it again, but it was fun

Have a great week everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 426 - Stir Crazy

Week 6 of the quarantine… I haven’t started talking to the walls yet, but one of the dogs told me to shut up yesterday, and the voices in my head are tired of talking to me as well.  So what’s the lyric from the Harvey Danger song, “Flagpole Sitta?”

Hear the voices in my head
I swear to God it sounds like they're snoring
But if you're bored, then you're boring

The agony and the irony, they're killing me (whoa)

So…. This  week’s topic is  “Stir Crazy”

Thanks this week to the Baklava Fairy, Lsig, Ms Justice, Jana Bushaw, Gavin, Jason, Susan, Erica, Little Man, Alesha, and some other guy.

On to the questions:

1.  What (if any) formerly innocuous sound now drives you nuts?

The skype call chime. Fuck off skype, I don’t want to put pants on.

2.  Which of your family members is most stir crazy? Who is coping best?

I think the youngest is losing her shit. She needs some person to person contact. Honestly it is probably the Ex-Wife who is doing the best. She looks at other introverts and scoffs at their dependence on people.

3.  Have you seen “Stir Crazy” starring Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder?

What are you doing?

Getting bad.

Yeah, the Richard Pryor/Gene Wilder movie about 2 guys being framed for bank robbery and then have to do a rode3o for some weird reason? Yeah, I’ve seen it

4. Who would you remake “Stir Crazy” with?

Hmmm… Point the first, it was directed by Sidney Poitier… so I think it should be directed by Viola Davis and be gender bent with Saturday Night Live famous people like Leslie Jones and Kate McKinnon. Change the bank robbery framing to white collar embezzling and keep the rodeo.

5.  Where did this term, stir crazy, come from?

I wish it were more sexy, but in the 1920’s there was slang for calling jail “the stir.” So “stir crazy” means overstressed from being confined.

6. Are there famous incidents of going stir crazy from a historical perspective? Not just ones leading to murder or cannibalism...

Well, I will eschew the bored Donner Party then. Hmmm… not really. I think it is more apocryphal than anything. I think it is when someone decides to stop being bored.

7. Are there people who are obsessively compelled to stir non-stop?

I’m sure it exits, but I could not find anything about it.  My bet it would be referred to as tangerimania.

8. How many bro-medies, bars, and songs are called “stir crazy”?

There are honestly, not that many. There is a restaurant chain, the movie mentioned before and 2 songs.  That’s it.

9.  Create a cocktail with that name--what's in it?

Well, it would not be a shaken cocktail. I would go with a Manhattan base and replace the sweet vermouth with some kind of tawny port (much fruitier) and use   a garnish of blackberries.  So, 2 oz Rye or whiskey, ¾ oz sweet tawny port, dash of bitters stirred with ice and strained in a martini glass with a garnish of blackberries. Let me know how it is.

10. Does “stir crazy” come from turning family members into stew? Are we there yet?

It does not, and not yet. Week 13… it is unlucky for a reason.

11. How many new shows have you watched?

Not that many.  I have caught up on some shows I was behind on though.

12. Best popcorn maker?

Oh, a question after my own heart… It isn’t one of those dumb air poppers I will tell you that. It is the Stir Crazy.  Best popcorn maker out there.

13. Are there other terms for stir crazy?

The only one that I can think of offhand is Cabin Fever.  It is also about being confined and losing your shit

14. Ever been to “Stir Crazy: Fresh Asian Grill?”

Nope,. It looks pretty good though. If I am ever in Northbrook, IL or Creve Coeur, MO I will happily try it.

15. So what is the craziest thing you have thought about doing in the house to combat the Stir Crazies?

Painting a mural in my bedroom. I need some wall art in there. I have some designs in my head

16. What are you doing to combat going Stir Crazy?

Drawing not nearly as much as I should and tons of texting.

17. What do you do tomorrow to eat/drink the crazy away?

I think I am going to start watching Bob’s Burgers for the first time while drinking a Stella Artois Cidre. It will be relaxing and glorious, but it won’t truly keep the crazy at bay.

18. What is the thing about your house that makes you most frustrated?

My dishwasher went out 4 days prior to shelter in place don’t let strangers in your house to fix dishwashers orders.  I have been washing dishes by hand in my house with 2 useless kids dirtying dishes and not doing a damn thing to help clean them. I need that damn thing fixed.

19. Anything good for staying in the house?

I have been cooking a shit ton (soooo many dishes) and I think that has had me losing some weight.  That and I have been taking the doggos on walks nearly every day (they sometimes go to doggie daycare when I have meetings I am hosting).

20. Stir Crazy? I hardly know her.

What?

To recap:

This quarantine is hard on everyone in some way or another

Be nice to each other out there

Best thing I have seen so far was someone walking their dog in one of those Tyrannosaurus Rex blow up costumes

That was week one

Pretty sure that person has dyed their skin blue and is standing on their roof in a diaper encircled by rosemary and chalk invoking the old ones to wake

That person shouldn’t do that

I mean, even as a joke, because, what if it does actually work?

We can’t stop Shaggoth of the Bilious Depths

We can’t even get a good testing program out there

How are we going to defeat an eldritch evil of the times before

Can’t even test for a virus that the world has tests for

We probably couldn’t even stop a minor slaad

Stay safe out there

Wash your damn hands

I have so many dishes to do

Have a great week everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 425 - Random Questions

We are in week 47 of the great US lockdown of Covid 19. Time has no meaning. So, since I did Self-Distancing last week, I could not figure out a good topic, and just decided I would answer some random ass questions. 

So without further ado, here come some questions.  Thanks this week go to Julie, Matt, Amy, Lsig, Grapes, Gavin, Bob, Will, Little Lady, Little Man, Susan, and some other guy.

1. How is social distancing going in your neck of the woods?

In the city proper, it seems to be going fairly well.  We have seen some dumbs gathering for front yard parties where a group of 15 or so people who think epidemiology doesn’t apply to them. They will “hang out” with each other in their yard trying to stay 6 feet apart. This isn’t testing the letter of the law people to see what you can get away with, this is about microbe propagation.  You aren’t getting one over on the system, jackass. 

Word from the red rural areas, is not as positive.

2. How is online learning being structured for the kids and how do they feel about it?

The kids are fine with it, but no one is happy. It is going fine, but not great. It is a solution that has clearly and understandably been thrown together. With my daughter (11 yr old) I am trying to supplement with things from streaming sources. Tonight we watched the PBS Secrets of the Dead about the Hanging Gardens of Babylon.

3. I’m curious about your reaction to meth heads who own tigers (aka The Tiger King on Netflix)?

This show is so popular because it is a cross between a Duck Dynasty/Swamp People kind of reality TV show with a true crime story. It is voyeurism and true crime all cobbled into one. It was a 7-episode train wreck. 

4. What is your favorite gluten-free recipe you make on Easter?

I don’t have something that is specifically GF. Most of the Easter foods we eat are already GF.

5. How’s the book going?

Slow… I am afraid that setting up another Kickstarter now would be a disaster. People seem to be low of discretionary income for other people’s pet projects.  That being said, I am getting more and more character designs done.

6. Does a CPAP machine make you more inclined to embrace the dark side?

The CPAP is an outward symptom of pre-existing dark side tendencies.

7. How much does the building, you are currently in, weigh? A rough estimate is acceptable. Addendum: what is the estimated mass of the building?

Well… I am not getting into the mass v weight thing. I am not a tenured physics professor… but you know who is? Dr B Dawg, that’s who. Congrats Brian. You are amazing. So… reinforced concrete is 150lb per cubic foot.  The house is a shell of 18 inch thick floor, ceiling, and walls reinforced concrete.  My house is a bomb shelter. A no shit, for real, honest to goodness bomb shelter. Anyway, according to the auditor’s site the perimeter to my house is right around 170 ft and area of 1430 sq ft., A full basement with a perimeter of 130 and an area of 1050 sq ft. So average wall height is 10 foot. The first floor alone is 6,840 cubic feet of reinforced concrete. The full basement is around 3,525 cubic feet of reinforced concrete. So the total for the downstairs and basement is 10,365 cubic feet for a whopping total of 1,554,750 lbs… not including furnishings or the roof or the second floor. I believe this roughly estimates to be a metric fuck-ton.

8. If you were allowed to toss any celebrity from the deck of The Duge Bridge, whom would you choose and why?

Would I have to? I mean that is really cruel. Logan Paul… because Logan Paul. Celebrity is a weak term these days.

9. How many days in a row of grayscale weather are you able to handle while quarantined before you lose your shit?

So far? About 17.

10. I’m thinking about just doing something I’ve always wanted to do... grow my hair long and a beard. Any advice?

If you can push past the itchiness for the beard, the sky is the limit as far as length of beard.

11. I’ve been pondering this for days now. At 10:00 AM train A left the station and an hour later train B left the same station on a parallel track. If train A traveled at a constant speed of 60 miles per hour and train B at 80 miles per hour, then at what time did train B pass train A?

Okay, firstly, trains in the US are not allowed to go faster than 35 mph in urban areas, and even the Acela, the only highspeed rail in the us is only allowed to go 70 mph in certain areas. Secondly, the physical train infrastructure is just not set up for those kinds of speeds. The railroad ties themselves would rip themselves out of the railbed before either train made it to the first curve. That being said, mathematically you have to just find out how long it will take a train going 20 mph to make it 60 miles. There is a 20 mph difference and the difference in the trains at T sub 1 is 60 miles.  3 hours.   

12. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

This is my answer from October 30, 2009: “1 cord, at best, but that is only if the woodchuck has thumbs. without thumbs the woodchuck would just look sullenly at the wood.”

This one is from April 26, 2005: "How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" requires a definition of the verb "to chuck."

Okay here goes.I was correct in 2009 and in my response from 2005. Let’s actually figure this one out. A cord of wood is 2000 to 3000 lbs and a woodchuck is about 8.5 lbs and 16 inches long or so. Let’s state that “to chuck wood” is to move a piece of wood a full body length in one fluid motion. So for an animal that weighs 8.6 lbs to move an item 16 inches through the air, I would imagine that the item in question would need to be no more than 1 lb in size (and that is being generous). I’m going to limit that weight to ½ lb for repetition’s sake (the equivalent of a 200lb person throwing something 10lbs). So let’s say on average we give the woodchuck in question a typical labor job where the worker has to do an 8 hour shift with a 30 minute lunch and two 15 minute breaks. So that is 7 hours of time just chucking wood.  Let’s say that a woodchuck can chuck some wood every 5 seconds over the course of a shift. So, let’s see how many throws a woodchuck could do in one shift. 5,040 chucks a shift with a total of 2,520lbs of wood.  Next time someone asks… 1 cord of wood.

And they said my math degree wouldn’t come in handy.

13. You know how everyone has an FBI Agent who listens into your phone calls and reads your emails? (Hey, Special Agent Gertrude Rosencrantz, how are you doing today?) Well… there are 7.53 billion people in the world right now, so, my question is, is there an extra 7.53 billion FBI special agents out there to listen in on conversations, or is it that 3.765 billion people are actually FBI agents?

Um… young kids don’t have phones or emails, and the super olds don’t know how to use the technology, so let’s whack down the population by 1/3. So let’s say there are 5 billion people who are potentially using phones and/or email. So… 2.5 billion special agents it is. Now put your tinfoil hat back on and go to bed.

14. Are you drawing more?

More? Yes. Enough more? No. I seriously need to be drawing more. 

15. How much more exercise have you done/been seeing getting done since self-distancing started up?

I have walked about 25 miles a week since being home because the doggos need the walkies. Got to tire them doggos out. Tired dogs are good dogs. That being said, I have seen waaaay more people running lately.

16. Is there one thing you really want to have accomplished by the time you can re-insert into the public?

I want a clean house. A deeply and profoundly clean house.

17. Who from Tiger King do you most identify with and why?

Probably Amanda Green, the federal prosecutor.  She seems to still be based in reality.

18. Best sandwich? Defend yourself.

Man… I love a French Dip.  I haven’t had one in years because of the glutenous breadiness of the bread necessary for a French Dip. It is a sandwich and a show. Fight me! 

19. Microbrew: limited beers per month or macrobrew: unlimited beers per month. Defend yourself.

Back in my college drinking days it was to start with more microbrew (probably more like mesobrew) and then shifting to macro as the drunkenness ensues. If you can find a macro that you like… drank it. No fights for this one.

20. If you had to pick one show to form the basis of a religion, which one would you pick? (not Star Trek)

Hmmm… I have no idea, so I’m just going to say Bojack Horseman.

To recap:

Been cooking a shit ton

Shrimp and grits happened again

It was amazing

Again

Risotto and roast chicken breasts?

Yes, please

I have read a few books

My fav so far is Trigor by Tom Merritt

It’s time travel shenanigans

I still have been digging Jelle’s Marble Run

Any book suggestions?

My feet are tired from all the walking

I would pay good money for a deep tissue foot massage

I. Would. Pay. Good. Money.

It is terrible having crap feet

Wash your damn hands

Stay away from people

Have a great week

20 Questions Tuesday: 424 - Social Distancing

Ok.. It's been a while, but there has been stuff going on in my life that has taken me away from blogging.  That being sad... it seems I have a bit of sequestered time on my hands at the moment and I might be able to crank out a post  weekly in the near future.

To get everyone caught up as to why I haven't been posting. The wife and I are one signatory process away from being the ex-wife and I. We are still getting along, but the dissolutiion process (fuck off divorce, we ain't playin your game) is long and drawn out and methodical and emotional, and difficult. The son to be officially ex-wife and I are doing well, and because we did not have to worry about either of us trying to screw the other one over, we have been able to remain friends through the process. That is a great thing. 

Anyway, that is why I haven't been posting lately. Only so much energy to go around and all that.  As it is, the motion to dissolve the marriage has been filed and we sign the last bits of paper in front of a magistrate in a little over a month, provided there is a government infrastructure remaining to do legal things. 

So we are on on day 3 of social distancing/self imposed sequestering. So far I have the kids this week and they will go back to their mom's next week. 

So this week's topic is "Social Distancing" My questioners are Little Man, Little Woman, (my darling 16 and 11 year old childrens), Chris Corrigan, and some other guy.

Question 1: Do you miss work at all?

Of course I do. (Hey Gavin, my delightful and clever boss, I hope your working from home goes well... aren't you glad your house build was finished?). I mean it would be silly to not miss something I do for 40+ hrs a week. Just plain silly.

Question 2: What video game do you think you could get back into during this time?

I could start up WoW again... More likely I will just do something like crosswords or sudoku.

Question 3: What sports do you miss not having?

Of course I am missing soccer, but I have newly remembered how much I like hockey. and now I have nothing to watch... except for this: Jelle’s Marble Runs. Stare into its gloriousness and despair.

I bag for the Hornets and Midnight Wisps.

Question 4: What do you plan to do with family?

Aside from watching Jelle’s Marble Runs, walk the dogs a bit, go to Highbanks (a local metro park), clean the house really well (including the basement, Little Man), that kind of stuff.

Question 5: When will stir craziness set in?

Wednesday of next week. Kids are with their mom that week, it's her problem to deal with. As for me... end of week 2 is when the interesting facial hair shall commence.

Question 6: What is on the menu for this week?

So far we've had sloppy Joes, teriyaki beef, bake gnocchi, ravioli, and a boat load of leftovers. Tomorrow is chicken nuggets, Thursday is Chicken Tikka Masala, and I have a bunch of random ass ingredients for Friday and Sat.

Question 7: What restaurant do you miss the most?

There are a few that come to mind. Helen's Asian Kitchen, Woody's Wing House, Everest Cuisine, and Charritos are the ones that come to mind immediately.

Question 8: Are you working on any art projects?

I have some irons in the fire. Still doing character designs for the book project (which is woefully behind schedule) and some wall art for my dining room wall. 

These are all going to be 12x12 canvas prints for the dining room wall. It is a art form that I think I am going to sell. As soon as I have all of them printed and on the wall, I already have 2 commissions to do. As k me about it.

Question 9:  What's your favorite part of Social Distancing?

That there will be some silliness and that will be fun to see recorded. Humanity's creativity and sense of humor are seriously amazing.

Question 10: What the fuck is wrong with people who don't take this seriously?

Well... there has been a pretty significant amount of official channels that have not been, shall we say, accurate in their descriptions of what is going on globally.  Italy stunned the US.  Stunned. 

Question 11: What impact is this having on you?

My hygiene is suffering. Seriously… sleeping shorts and a t-shirt all day.

Question 12: How are you doing this with the kids?

One week with me, one week with the ex. The quarantined family unit is The ex's household, my household, and the Mother-in-Law who lives feral in my back yard.

Question 13: What are you missing the most?

Convenience

Question 14: What do you think is going to happen next month? Januray was WW3, February and March are all Covid 19 all the time.  So what is April?

Oh, I imagine it will be disclosure. Next month? There's aliens.

Question 15: Tell the truth, you have been social distancing for a while now, haven't you?

In some instances.  In other instances, I am actively trying to step into fully. 

Question 16: How long can this economy hold out for this kind of economic shut down?

That is a great question, and one I do not have the answer to. If more things were less dependent in the US on employment status, I think there could be a longer timeframe. If the US were not becoming a more and more unregulated capitalist society I think there could be some measure in place to alleviate the pressure. The truth is, people on the margins are going to miss rent and mortgages, and then lose their housing and we will quickly find out that America is only as strong as its weakest constituents.

Question 17: Will this social distancing work?

Well, it is better than nothing, but it is a bit slow in our response. We are 2 weeks late for this kind of self-sequestering. 

Question 18: Wait a second, isn't it St Patrick's Day?

St Patrick was a bit of a dick. Hopefully this US excuse for drinking will go away. He was un-holy and ended up being a dirge upon the land in Ireland.  Fight me. 

Question 19: Whats on tap for tomorrow?

A walk, getting some wireframes done for a process, cleaning a bit, some laundry, picking up some groceries. We are going to play some music in the house tomorrow.  The kids don't know it yet, but there is going to be more time for the kids and I to be in the same room.  It is going to be a song for song for song trade.  I might throw in some song by Tool that is 8 minutes long.

Question 20: How long will this social distancing last?

We are going to be sequestered until May at least, unless a vaccine can be created and mass produced.

To recap:

Covid-19 is scary stuff

Super scary since since there has been a confirmed re-infection case in Japan

This fucker is mutating… and fast

The ex and I are still friends

I still consider her one of my closest friends

That being said, I am on the market, ladies...

I think my ex would give me a letter of recommendation if you want it

This pandemic will alter the way people interact with each other in a business manner permanently

The convention culture is going to go away

I was supposed to speak at a convention in New Orleans in April

That isn't happening

Now I need to make my talk more of a voice over animation than a Ted Talk

I apologize for not being available the past few months, but my life has really been in flux as of late and I needed to focus

Stay safe out there and wash your damn hands

Have as great of a week out there as you can

20 Questions Tuesday: 423 - Surprise

Wow… is it October already?  Wow. Umm… I have been really lax in my posting lately.  Things are going on people, and it has been making it difficult to muster up the energy to post.

Anyhoo… The topic this week is Surprises.  So thanks go to Chris Ring, Lisa Sigler, Aleshia Arp, and Some Other Guy.  Let’s get to the questions

1. Best surprise you ever read?

That Snape was super in love with Harry’s mom.

2. Best movie surprise?

The most recent one is when they stopped the monologuing trope in Ex Machina. When General Hux tells Poe his plan.

3. Best Surprise gift?

My parents got me the Franklin Mint Looney Tunes chess set… I was not expecting it. They were not expecting me to take another year at college and backhandedly gave it to me as a Christmas gift, making sure to tell me that it was “SUPPOSED” to be a graduation gift, but since I was taking another year...

4. Funniest surprise your kids ever gave you?

This is a hard one to think through. I think when Little Man decided that he was “going to try new foods” as a New Year’s Resolution a few years ago.  Now he loves Indian Food.

5. Best surprise you ever pulled off?

I am not big on surprising people. I am sure I have surprised some people, but I cannot think of any right now. If I have surprised you, leave a comment.

6. My aunt & uncle always made everything for my cousins a "surprise"-- even, like, going to a movie with us or meeting us out for lunch. Surprises can be fun, but doesn't it take away some of the joy of antici........pation, if everything is a surprise?

If everything is a surprise, then nothing is.

7. Have you ever had a surprise party?

I have not.

8. Are you surprised your 20 Questions thing is still going on?

Most definitely

9. Do your kids like surprises? 

I think Q does more than Little Man, but they both seem to be okay with them.

10. My boss and his wife just had baby number 4 this weekend (editor’s note: this was weeks ago) - Hoping this would be a girl after four boys. But they’re very happy  to welcome Thomas into their family 

In this day and age so many people find out what the baby will be and they’re not surprised. What is your personal feeling on finding gender out before baby arrives? 11. And how does that influence your perception of who that child might be. 12. Does it give you preconceived notions? 13. Do parents prescribe traits to the kid before the kid shows you their personality?

Imma answer this one as if it is 4 questions. 

10. At some point there will always be a sex reveal regardless of the increased capability of medical technologies. Even if diagnostically we are able to determine the potential sex of a newly fertilized egg (if that egg becomes a fetus and goes to term) the moment it is revealed, it is a surprise. So, I say, find out as soon as you can because coming up with names is a hard process.

11. People already have ideas of what their children will be like.  Everyone out there has a story they tell themselves of what their male and female kids would be like. All of them have been wrong. Every single one.

12. Yes… you know that was either an amazing pun (“preconceived notions”) or just the literal truth, because these notions often exist prior to conception.

13. Of course. People are pattern analyzers. We always find patterns even when they aren’t there.

Now back to the regular questions.

14. Are surprises ever really a good thing?

They can be.  Most things are not inherently good or bad. 

15. Ever had a surprise ruined?

Again, I don’t have tons of surprises. It is not a thing I gravitate towards. I am sure I have, but it clearly did not traumatize me.

16. Was Sir Prize the worst of the Knights of the Roundtable?

Nope, that honorific goes to Sir LaTable.

17. Do you think that marriage proposals should be a surprise?

Complete surprise? Hells no.  A little bit of a surprise? Sure

18. What are your thoughts on those servicemen and servicewomen who surprise their family/kids at a sporting event or at a restaurant or things like that?  They just tug at the heartstrings, don’t they.

I hate those videos. The returning service member spends time setting up the reveal that they could have spent actually with their family. It takes an intensely emotional reunion and cheapens it for the spectacle. 

19. What question do you ask yourself that has the most surprising answers?

“Is that really true?” It is something I constantly ask myself about thoughts in my weird head.

20. Are you surprised to be on Question 20? 

Nope, that is what is always right after 19 for these posts. 

To recap:

I apologize profusely for missing so many posts

I don’t think I am completely “up-to-speed” with this new normal I am dealing with

I have let a few interviews rot on the vine as well

So I will be getting back into those

I have so much bedding laundry to do

It is like all of the blankets in the house decided to need cleaning

A couple weeks ago I made a shrimp and grits recipe and the textures were amazing, but the flavors were off

Last week, I made a different shrimp and grits recipe and the flavors were on point but the textures were awful

Next week, I will Frankenstein those 2 recipes together and make Frankenstein’s Shrimp and Grits

Many people will call the dish Frankenstein

But we all know that it will actually be Frankenstien’s Dish

Little Man ran a 17:55 5k race over the weekend

That is insane

Well, this laundry isn’t going to fold itself

Have a great week everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 422 - Insomnia

August is the typical month when my insomnia really takes hold. I think it has something to do with the quality of light and allergens in the air, but I am not certain. Anyway… what ends up happening is that I find it incredibly difficult to get to sleep.  Once asleep, it is easy (sometimes too easy) to stay asleep, but crossing the threshold from wakefulness to sleepytime is a bit of a bear. There for this post is all about insomnia.

Thanks this week go to Lsig (see you in a few weeks), Susan, The Ex-Wife, Grapes, and Some Other Guy, 

Onto the questions!

1. Have you seen the Al Pacino/Hilary Swank movie Insomnia? I haven't, but it looks like it could be good. 

I have not seen this movie. I vaguely remember it existing.

2. Have you seen the Norwegian movie Insomnia starring Stellan Skarsgård upon which the Al Pacino movie was based? I haven't seen that one either. 

I am unsurprised that the above movie is a rehash of a Norwegian movie. Hollywood has been lifting ideas from Scandinavia for years. That being said, no, I have not seen this version either.

3. Do you prefer to get up and do stuff when you are having trouble sleeping, or do you rest in bed and hope it helps?

It depends on the day. Sometimes I feel like staring grumpily at the ceiling until I am asleep, and others I get up. It also depends on where the doggos are sleeping. When they are on me and immediately next to me, the chances of me getting up and being productive are weaker.

4. Are you getting enough exercise? That helps with sleep.

I am not getting enough exercise. I was ramping up the exercise regime and my feet decided to fall apart (Thanks, Dad!... I inherited his shit feet). I have torn one of the lateral metatarsal ligaments in my left foot and potentially one in my right foot. The feet are finally feeling better enough to possibly get on a treadmill for a real amount of time. I figure the treadmill might be the best way of re-experiencing the MCU. Trying to determine if I should watch the movies chronologically or in order of release.

5. Have you seen Insomniac with Dave Attell? Love that show. Hilarious. Sadly, it does not appear to be available streaming anywhere. 

Dave Attell, the machine gun of comedy, is a favorite of mine. Insomniac was a bunch of fun. One of the things I loved about it was seeing Dave sit down with comics he clearly wasn’t super friendly with and try to chat with them like long lost friends. Watch one of the conversations with Dane Cook and see how much Attell is not happy that it was happening in his life.

6. Anyone else in the family have insomnia?

My mom has it somewhat… but it is hard to tell with her if what she is reporting is true or not. She is an unreliable narrator at best. My daughter has it as well. She has trouble getting to sleep and staying asleep once she gets there. That being said, she also doesn’t realize half the time when she has actually fallen asleep and woke up later thinking she had been awake the entire time. I think she feels that most of her life is a fever dream.

7. What do you count to get to sleep?

Dolla Dolla bills, y’all… I don’t have enough so I get done quickly

8. Do you subscribe to the Victorian Era idea of the Little Sleep and Big Sleep, where people go to bed early and get up for a bit in the middle of the night and going back to sleep until a normal time in the morning?

Nope, I get to sleep at 1 or 2 in the morning on a good day and get up at 7 or 8 pending on what has to be done in the morning. On the weekends the dogs make me get up and then fall asleep on the couch. For some reason, the doggos don’t like to sleep in on a soft comfy bed.

9. If you were to get up in the middle of the night like the Victorians, what would you do?

Well, of course, I would chat with the neighbors about how the livestock are doing.

10. Do you read before bed? Some people say that reading before bed is helpful.

Sometimes I do. The problem is that I read from a Kindle app on my iPhone and that’s more screen-time, Baby!

11. What keeps you up at night?

Part of the answer to this is “I wish I knew.” The other part of the answer is stress in its many forms. I very rarely can point to a specific event or series of thoughts that keeps me up at night. Occasionally there is a specific thing, but more often than not I lay awake looking at the ceiling wondering why I can’t sleep. I need to get back on top of the meditation thing.

12. What can you easily sleep through?

Most things in the morning. That being said, I tend to be a relatively light sleeper.

13. What is the weirdest insomnia cure you have ever tried?

I have tried most of the standard ones. Warm milk… bleck! counting “sheep” (dolla dolla bills, y’all), deep breathing, reading… There are not tons of folk remedies for insomnia that I have seen.

14. Do your dreams ever wake you up?

If by “dreams,” you mean aspirations and difficult to reach goals in life… well, those never wake me up because I have none, for I am dead inside. Looking into my eyes is nigh unto looking into the soulless black eyes of a doll devoid of life and emotion. My aspirations are ash and my goals are the sweet release of death…. If you mean sleepytime dreams, occasionally.

15. Are there any consistent tools you have to fight insomnia? For instance, BBC documentaries, or Echoes with John Diliberto? 

The most consistent tool is to attempt to put myself in a relaxed state that leads to sleep. This is harder to do with a cpap.

16. Have you ever listened to the New Jersey band the Insomniacs? 

Nope.

17. If you have a bout of insomnia, what do you do to power through the day?

Sheer raw will power. It’s like I am a goddamn Green Lantern. I wrap myself in willpower and punch through the day. I have recently kicked the green goddess to the curb.  I miss you Mt Dew! I miss you so much!

18. How often do you have insomnia?

Is too often an answer, because that’s how often. At least once a week.

19. Is sleep overrated?

No.  Not at all. In fact, I would say that sleep is underrated. Grossly underrated.

20. How much sleep did you get last night?

3.5 hours. And I am a good goddamn delight to be around. The lack of sleep has not affected me in the lightest. Not. In. The. Lightest.

To recap:

I am running on empty

I think I have averaged about 4 hours a night for the past week or so

Seriously, the tanks are empty

It is amazing I am even remotely pleasant

I am a goddamn joy to be around

I might have gotten on the Mt Dew train over the weekend

It was a moment of weakness

If I were in the Green Lantern Corps, I would drink Mt Dew All. The. Time.

I am starting up some life coaching tomorrow

That will be good

Maybe my dreams will be more than ash

And my goals more than the sweet release of death?

One can dream…

Oooooh, it’s already working

Little Man started his sophomore year last week

Q is starting her 5th grade year tomorrow

So that’s what’s going on here

How are you?

Have you lost weight?

You look great

See? A goddamn sleep-deprived delight

Have a great week everyone!

20 Questions Tuesday: 421 - Joel Wisneski

Today I have the pleasure of asking someone I actually know 20 Questions. Joel Wisneski used to work where I am currently, but moved on to another position at another company. I really enjoyed working with and chatting with Joel and even continue to have intermittent text message conversations with him. 

Joel - I’m going to stop you right there, intermittent? I spent like an hour summarizing 80’s movies in one line or less the other day. We talk several days a week. If that’s not moderately, I don’t know what is.

Good point.  We do text more than typical. We do not text each other individually much. Our text conversations are more than often in a group text. You usually kill the conversation with an Archer gif. That being said, all I really know about you is that you like whiskey and are generally misanthropic in your disposition.

Joel - I prefer to think of it as “optimistic nihilism”.

So, without further ado, let’s do this… 20 Questions with Joel Wisneski. 

So… you know the deal. My past career was in mapping and I love stories of place. So if my story is that I was born outside of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Then the fam moved to Montgomery, AL and then to Birmingham, AL. I stayed there through high school and then went to college in Northeast Ohio and finally moved to Columbus, OH for grad school, marriage, and to stay. So, Question 1: What’s your geographic story.

Joel - Since all of my fake backstories were rejected, I guess I’ll lay out the real one. I grew up in Northwest Indiana, not-so-affectionately referred to as “The Region”, which means the part of Indiana that is in the central time zone and gets Chicago news. My parents grew up in the same area as the Jackson 5. I spent a ton of time in Chicago during those early years. It’s actually kind of amazing that, before I could drive, my parents trusted me to take a train for an hour and hang out in the city by myself with no questions. Times change, man.

My parents still live in the same area but I moved to Bloomington, Indiana for college. It’s about an hour south of Indianapolis. I was in college for 6 years (two degrees, I’m not that much of a slacker). About the time I finished my undergrad I decided I didn’t really know what I wanted to do but I definitely didn’t want to code (an obvious career path for my degree) so I stayed for grad school and now I design apps and websites.

I spent a summer internship in Indy, I lived with a couple friends who were also interning. We had no cable, no internet, no furniture, just half a duplex on the northside of downtown.

After grad school I went to Milwaukee for my first job, I moved to Columbus, where we met, and now I’m back in Milwaukee for a while. I generally like it up here, despite the cold. Milwaukee is more dense, more gritty and less landlocked than Columbus or Indy.

Knowing me, I’m sure you would be surprised if I didn’t mention New York in all of this. It’s never not an option but I’m getting my ducks in a row, so to speak, so I can make the most of that. I’ll leave the rest for an inevitable follow up later. I’m familiar with the format.

If you love NYC so much Question 2: Why not move to New York City? I hear, if you can make it there, you can make it anywhere.

Joel - Would also accept “if you love New York (it’s just New York) so much, why don’t you marry it?” 

Joel’s framed pic of Manhattan that he drew

it is tough to make it there. 

Even in a field like ours, which has exploded over the last 10 years, the amount of talent, not necessarily good talent but present talent, there is a huge barrier to entry for anyone looking to break into the city. New York, like me, has absolutely no patience.

I, like a lot of people, have spent a lot of time looking ahead to what’s next. I moved back to Milwaukee with the intention of staying here for a few years and actually being present in my own life, maybe for the first time. I’m going out and I don’t assume this is my last week here. I’m just here.

There’s a good chance that when I move there, I will not ever live anywhere else and I want to make sure I get all the other experiences in first. Milwaukee is a cool city and it’s fun and it’s cheap so I can pay off my huge (seriously, massive) student loan debts early and still go out and do things.

I also wanted to be okay with me. The experiences that we have, the people we meet, the things we do, they shape who we are. Up to this point I’ve been a kind of a follower, someone else finds the cool place to go or instigates some ridiculous situation and the story is “my buddy did this”. The past few months have been different. I’m the one with a crazy story about what I did, or a side gig or bar recommendation. I’m the one bringing strangers into the conversation and socializing and city hopping on a whim. 

I live an interesting life.

Heads up, most of those stories are NSFW so let’s keep those to text groups haha!

Taking control is an amazing thing. It is a thing most people don’t do.

Hell, I am not even sure if I am the main protagonist in my story. I have ceded that role to others very easily because I have no idea what I really want to do with myself. Right now I am trying to get my shit together and actually figure out how to want things for myself as well as being able to care for others. Honestly, last year had you asked me what makes me happy, I would have said doing something for my wife or for the kids. “Seeing the kids eat and enjoy a meal I made.” “Giving Tuesday the opportunity to take a solo vacation.” Things like that, but that was because I am completely and wholly incapable to determine anything I want. To “survive” (strong word here to be sure) in the house I grew up in, it was best for me not to ever want anything and if I did want something, not to allow myself to say that out loud or act upon it. So, now I do not know what I want and I do not know how to figure that out.  Hell, when I am sans kids now in my divorced life and completely on my own, I crowdsource for ideas to have for dinner BECAUSE I DON’T AND CAN’T KNOW WHAT I WANT (full disclosure, it is usually tacos v chinese I can narrow down food choices. I’m not a monster.).

Joel: No judgement here, dinner is so hard to decide on most of the time. There’s so much good food in the world. I’ve been on a chicken salad kick lately (it’s tough to live somewhere that routinely drops to negative double digits and keep your figure) so it ends up being which spices I want to throw on my chicken tonight. It still ends up being predominantly mexican vs chinese spices. Choices are tough but my mom once told me, “the best thing I can do for you is let you make your own mistakes” and I live by that every day. 

It’s never too late for an adventure.

So, I like cheesecake and might make one for myself this week before I get the kids back. Which leads to….

Question 3: Cake or Pie? Which specific kind and why?

Joel: Somehow this is a really hard question. I do have one specific cake that I love, it’s in the frozen food section of most grocery stores. I think it’s the “layer cake” from Pepperidge Farm, something like that, I’d know it if I saw it.

My mom used to buy it, she loved (I think she still does love) those things. So every once in a while she’d come home with one and that thing would be gone soooooooo fast. I rarely get one but it’s always a mix of nostalgia and just plain gluttony because I live alone and it’s a whole freaking cake.

I would support you in your cheesecake endeavor. #treatYoSelf

I know of this cake you speak of, but I don’t think I have ever eaten any of it. I do love that one of the reasons that you love it is a sense of nostalgia. As I have stated in other 20 Questions, my mom did cake decorating as a side gig while I was growing up. It kind of ruined me for cakes. 

I imagine you see this cake in the freezer aisle of the grocery store every time you go in there, yet you do not purchase it.  Question 4: What is a food that you cannot help yourself around? What food, if you see it, simply must be consumed?

Joel: Actually I see it, think “should I?” and then sigh and walk away. It’s tough sometimes.

Funny enough, I was actually back visiting my parents and brother (nephew’s birthday) this past weekend. I usually try to stay about 3 - 4 days so I can make my rounds. Chicago is known for its mainstream pizza culture but Northwest Indiana has some really great pizzas.

(Dear reader, please read the next few passages in Bill Hader’s Stefon voice)

Yes, yes, yes, yes...

Gelsosomos, while a bit pricey, has a very thin, kind of flakey crust and a sweeter sauce (I think they put some sugar in it) and then it’s topped with a 4 - 5 cheese blend. Love it!

Cappos (formerly Broncos) fulfills all your bowling alley pizza fantasies. They top the pizza with an overwhelming amount of cheese and cut it in long rectangles. Toppings are in the sauce, just below the cheese so it keeps everything intact.

Finally, Schoops is an old timey diner serving mostly american fare. They have what others may know as a “smash burger”. They take a ball of meat (beef, hopefully but it delicious so I don’t really care), put it on a stainless steel griddle and smash the ever-living-crap out of the sides. What you get is a fairly thin burger, the edges are delectably crispy, paper thin pieces of heaven. The kicker is that the burger is probably about twice as wide as your standard cheeseburger. No idea where they get the buns, but they’re huge.
(That’s all for the Stefon-ness. A sincere thank you if you indulged me)

It really is tough to go back and not get at least one or two of those but it requires some expert scheduling, which is not my thing. I just kind of float through life and constantly improvise.

Firstly, I don’t think anyone indulged you in the Stefon thing. Maybe someone did, but I didn’t.

Secondly, Interesting non answer. For me, it was doughnuts, but it is cheddar and sour cream potato chips. I never would have picked you for a pizza guy. There was a pizza place from when I was in college that I miss greatly… but honestly, with this gluten thing, I miss all pizzas. Gluten Free pizzas are not great.

Joel: Technically it was three non-answers but fine. Pizza. Are you happy, now? You want me to answer everything in one word? That would be so very boring.

I am happy now. Was that so hard? Thank you.

Question 5: So, you are super familiar with the Chicago pizza scene, and you are enamored of the New York City…. What are your thoughts of New York style pizza when you are knowledgeable of the Chicago pizza landscape (Yes, I know you were not speaking of Chicago deep dish)?

Joel: I am familiar with Chicago deep dish. It’ll always have a slightly nostalgic place in my heart but honestly I can’t remember the last time I had a deep dish pizza. Now, the thing is, New York style pizza is made for New Yorkers. They have A) no time because they’re already late B) no patience because A and C) no money because rent is $2500+ for a studio apartment. The toppings are proportioned fairly, the grease is (generally) kept to a reasonable level and the size is perfect so you can fold it and walk (briskly) to the subway. All that for a meager $1, even in one of the most expensive cities in the U.S. and you’re never more than a couple blocks away from a great pizza place.

I have a lot of respect for that.

You look at Chicago Deep Dish on the other hand it’s nearly impossible to eat it either without utensils or without getting sauce on you. Bob might correct me but I don’t think anywhere sells deep dish pizza by the slice. That’s fine but it means you automatically have to make time to sit down and get that specific pizza. I don’t really pride myself on the whole “having time for stuff” thing so that’s a difficult first step.

I guess one might say convenience is a key factor in my pizza purchases. How millennial of me…

I will incur the ire of some people by saying this but Chicago Deep Dish is a casserole and is not pizza. There. I said it. It REQUIRES utensils so it is not pizza.

Joel: Right?

I do love me some New York style pizza. It is significantly better than the central ohio cracker with sauce and cheese on it crap. Donatos can go straight to hell. Alas and alak, as I stated before (and probably will again) I can no longer partake of the finer side of pizza due to my gluten intolerance thing. It gets in the way so much.

So, you brought it up, but you are a Millenial to my Gen X. I have my read on Millenials that I will get into in just a bit, but Question 6: how would you describe a Millennial?

Joel: Well that’s a fair question. I actually grew up with my brother and sister who were both almost 10 years older than me. I hung out with their friends (when I could tag along), I played their video games and I listened to their music. In a lot of ways I don’t really identify as a Millennial even if I am, technically.

For me, part of it is the older generation talking about the golden age and those damn kids with their boombity boombity music.[1] This happens with every generation, it’s just sort of a natural course of life.[2] I know I’ve been on the giving end of some comments about how music, movies, sports, etc. just aren’t what they used to be. Sometimes not ironically.

I think another part is that this generation seems to be more wide eyed and bushy tailed than past generations. There’s a ton of sources of that, the rise of social media and connectivity definitely play a role in the idea that someone’s life can be “perfect” and the disappointment that our life is not that way.

What I wish it meant was the generation that finally got serious about social and ecological issues. I think what’s happening with inclusion of other cultures, the willingness to ask why everyone shouldn’t expect affordable health care or a clean Earth or a safe school is huge. There’s been so much social change in the past few years, we’ve got a long way to go but so many of these issues are becoming mainstream. It’s been really exciting to watch AOC (Alexandria Ocasio Cortez, Representative from the Bronx/Queens, NY) because we’re the same age and she’s fighting for so many things I believe in and doing it with so much passion and transparency. That’s the upside of social media and connectivity.

Meanwhile, I draw pictures for a living.

[1] Coffee tangent: By the way, since I’m a city person and eventually I’ll be old, I’m convinced someday I’ll be yelling at kids to get off my sidewalk. My friend calls it “Chronic Old Man Behavior” or COMB.

[2] Coffee tangent: South Park covered this really, really well in an episode called “You’re getting old”. It involves one of the characters turning 11 and everything looks, smells and tastes like shit. Literal shit. I watch that one every year on my birthday along with an episode of Futurama, “The Late Phillip J. Fry”, where The Professor invents a time machine that can only move forward in time. It ends with hilarious results.

I love that Boomers and Gen X make fun of the “lazy Millenials”, because Gen X is the OG slackers and the Boomers forget they were Hippies because of all the drugs they took.

Generational behavior all has to do with amount of responsibility and amount of disposable income. Low responsibility with any disposable income equals “lazy” and everyone who call them lazy are just jealous. I feel bad for Gen Y and Gen Z because of the Gen X political inactivity (our generation seems like it was focused on work/life more than societal issues) Y and Z are having to be politically active and engaged waaaay earlier and they are not being allowed to have a childhood. The activism of the current highschoolers is necessary because of the inactivity of the generation in power. Climate change and gun violence are their issues because we couldn’t be bothered.

Side Note: You are adorable with your consumption of Gen X cartoons on your birthday… adorable.

I love how the Boomers and Gen X have framed the environmental debate as something that is an individual choice issue and the fault of the individual. “We are in this predicament because you consumers like plastic straws and grocery bags.” Don’t get me wrong, we should not use plastic straws or bags nearly as much as we do, but our straw/bag consumption pales in comparison to the emissions of our industrial economy. Yes, re-using grocery bags is a way we, as individuals, can be ecologically minded, but legislating environmental reforms for manufacturing and businesses is where large scale change can occur. hmmmm … that was a weird insertion on my part.  Not sure where exactly I was going with that. Maybe we should steer away from depressing topics.

Joel: Well I think I found something you can relate to. I’m just glad to know I’m not the only one writing multiple paragraphs in this little interview.

I’m really interested to see where the environmental reform goes but we sure are running out of time...

Knowing how much you love the urban life, Question 7: What non-urban setting do you enjoy the most? I love me some mountains.

Joel: You know, it’s funny (I’m genuinely laughing right now) because that’s a really tough. The reason it’s funny, and I will get to an answer, is that I had a person in my life who was convinced this whole city thing was a phase, which is not how that works. At one point she told me to get it out of my system so I could move out to the suburbs with her.

I’m really enjoying writing this in my loft apartment in a reclaimed warehouse.

Anyway. It’s tough to answer that because I think most people go to nature to relax and recharge and clear their mind. That’s what happens when I’m surrounded by traffic and construction and people all around me rushing to get somewhere, people hustling and the imposing presence of skyscrapers. Somehow that’s all so very calming to me.

That being said, I took a couple weeks off between jobs and went to Hawaii. The first week was with family in a resort and the second week I rented a car, got a hotel and just hung out by myself. It was great. Again, spent a lot of time in downtown Honolulu but during the day I drove up to the North Shore to watch some surfers and I floated around in the ocean for a bit. So, the beach might be a pretty good front runner here.

I did spend some time driving west on the H1 which takes you around the side of a mountain (volcano, technically). The problem was it was dusk so by the time I got out to the more remote part of Oahu it was pitch black and I was driving with a mountain (volcano) on one side and a 100 foot drop into the ocean on the other side. Needless to say that was terrifying. Heights terrify me.

You had mentioned the heights thing in a previous conversation where you had hung a picture relatively high up on your loft wall..  I was pretty sure it was going to be beach and not mountains because of that. I find your choice of urban setting interesting because so much of the urban landscape requires going up. When a place runs out of space, they go vertical. That being said, being drawn to an urban setting is a perfectly valid thing.

Joel: I think that’s a lot of what draws me to it. There’s a certain social and ecological responsibility with the efficiency required to sustain a huge city. Plus when you start building on an island or peninsula you have to start getting creative about using space.

Question 8: Other than NYC, are there any other large urban areas you want to visit/live in? Tokyo, Hong Kong, Seoul, Mumbai, London?

Joel: I had a chance to go to Paris years ago, I think that was the catalyst for my whole “I need this level of culture, population density and diversity in my life” thing. I’m sure that’s also why I gravitate toward the east coast, when New York and Boston popped up there wasn’t really American urban planning like L.A. or, more recently, Austin. I like Chicago since it’s sort of a hybrid of the old and new worlds of urban planning.

Coffee tangents, man. Right. Anyway.

I love Munich, it’s such a beautiful city. It’s clean, it’s easy to get around and everyone is so polite. Even without speaking German, you can get by and people are very patient if you put forth just a little effort.

I’ve heard great things about Mexico city, admittedly the most I’ve been exposed to it is the most recent James Bond film, Spectre.

Berlin would be really interesting, again I’ve heard great things. Apparently James McAvoy “Fucking loves Berlin!” - I really enjoyed Atomic Blonde, it was a really fun movie to watch -

Hong Kong would be really interesting, it seems like there’s a line for me where it’s just too much density and I think some of the East Asian cities are playing jump rope with that line but I’m really excited to see if that’s true.

I travel by myself a lot (it’s amazing, I think everyone should try it) but that’s mostly in the U.S. International cities are little harder, particularly if, like me, you don’t speak a lot of the languages. Plus spending 12+ hours on a flight kinda sucks.

Right now I don’t really have any plans. I want to get out to Boston to see a buddy of mine. I was thinking about doing an East Coast tour. Boston, train it down to New York, maybe Philly for another friend, D.C. and then Richmond to see my sister. My buddy in MIlwaukee is a D.J. and I, apparently, have become his tour manager so I think we’ll have some shows coming up for that too.

I have never been to Paris. I have been to London and Munich though. I did very much like Munich. You can get very far in Munich with “Ein brat und ein bier, bitte” and “Danke” when your beer and bratwurst arrive. You do not get nearly as far knowing “Es liegt im straßengraben.” The phrasebook Glen and I had did not help with that one. I think some of the more asian megalopolises seem like they would be much more fun to see than to actually go to. The mere concept of Tokyo is daunting. I would like to get back to Edinburgh, so I guess I can do some solo travel in the next few years.

Joel: The beer is so much better in Germany. I know you can’t partake but it ruined my taste for beer because the stuff here just can’t match up. Highly recommend the solo travels, it’s kind of like the ultimate self-gratification. You can go where ever you want, do whatever you want and when you’re done you’re done. I think a lot of people find travel stressful for that reason and if you allow a buffer of time and just sort of go with it, by yourself, that stress is gone.

You should embrace the tour managerness and become a promoter as well. Let us know who is the DJ and how can people follow this person? 

Joel: Good call! I’m not great with shameless promotion. Jason Bay @jasonbay for you Instagrammers is my DJ buddy. He’s launching a music label called Our Love Affair, ourloveaffair.us and I’m working on the website (that I hope will be done by the time this comes out).

Question 9: Is house music really your thing? What music do you gravitate towards? You don’t seem like house/dj would be your thang.

Joel:  I grew up skateboarding (still do) and punk rock was all the rage with those damn skaters.

Damn Skaters.

Joel: yeah… as I was saying, actually I was watching a really great video about the evolution of punk rock and how the kids that grew up with bands like blink-182, Taking Back Sunday and NOFX (pronounced no-f-x) ended up with a deep appreciation for, what is now, Indie music. That’s definitely true for me, my daily playlist is a hipster’s dream. It’s also 230 songs that are just constantly on shuffle.

In the past couple years, some of the DJ/remixing work has been bleeding into Indie music as well. Phantogram, by far my favorite band, does a combination of sampling with more traditional keyboard, vocal, guitar, drum music. Samples, in House and in their music, are like another instrument and that’s super intriguing. It’s even better for someone like me, I’ve always played music but I’ve never had a tight knit group of people that I really like playing with. If you get creative about sampling and layering pre-recorded work (yours or someone else’s) you can still make original music.

I don’t really listen to house all that much, some Daft Punk and Prodigy which are kind of House-Lite. I started playing guitar when I was 10 (have I mentioned my parents desperately tried to find creative outlets for me as a child?) and I grew up right on the cusp of when computers in every home were normal so as part of my musical journey I ended up with recording software. I have a deep appreciation for anyone who can mix that stuff because it is TOUGH!

My buddy, Jayson, and I ended up meeting because he bartending at the time. He mentioned the label and the website and we started talking about it from there. He’s a cool dude, I have a knack for web design, we might end up with some spare cash and, really, how many people do you know that helped launch a music label? 

A lot of the things in my life happen like that. It’s a combination of right place right time and I think this will be an interesting story. I’ve been told I have the New York hustle with my numerous random side gigs.

Sadly, I don’t know that having side gigs make you a New York Hustler as much as it re-enforces the fact that we are now in a gig economy. Hell, I have a side gig as a cartographer still. You have already been fairly introspective, so I am interested to see where this one goes.

Joel: If only. I’ve been fortunate enough to find some things that I like and then found out that I can monetize them without selling my soul.

I feel like introspection is my thing, plus there’s an implicit agreement when you answer questions like this. I could give you one word answers or something very straightforward but that’s no fun to read. Plus it’s kinda cathartic.

Question 10: Fill in the blanks: Others find that I am mostly ________. I find that I am mostly ___________.

Joel: I think others find that I’m mostly normal. I find that I’m mostly erratic.

I’m really good at hiding the craziness that’s just below the surface.

Interesting. I love it when a person’s perception of themselves is very different than how others perceive them or they think others perceive them. 

Question 11: Why do you think your perception of yourself is so different with how you feel others perceive you?

Joel: I think it’s an interesting look into a person’s views about the world. Mine’s interesting, I feel like the more people get to know me, the more crazy people think I am.

Rightfully so.

Over the past few years I’ve found myself putting forth very little effort to be liked. I’ll be for the most part polite but I tend to not really go out of my way to impress people unless I’ve had some extra coffee.

So that’s part of it. I also hang out with a motley crew of people (not the band, fortunately). There’s a lot of people with a lot of different backgrounds and life experiences and I end up hopping between the groups they end up in. That being said, I hang out with a lot of artists and creatives (which, duh) so I think that’s part of my view. Design is a far more mainstream creative profession than most and that’s an interesting dichotomy that’s been part of my life for a long time.

I think we all have versions of our “selves” that present differently than our intention or even our own personal view. I think you are being a little hard on yourself concerning the getting to know you means realizing how crazy you are. Most people I know consider everyone crazy at some level and the getting to know the person just helps categorize the crazy. 

Here comes the most naval gazey of simplistic questions I ever ask. Question 12: Are you happy?

Joel: The simplest questions are the toughest to answer. I hesitate to say a flat “yes” but I’m definitely much happier than I was a year or two ago. You were there for some of that. There’s something to be said about “growing up” or whatever you want to call it. I know who I am now much more than I did a few years ago and that makes for a lot less uncertainty.

I feel like I have my shit together. I have a job, an apartment and a plan to pay off my student loans. My car…. works… most of the time. I can make time for things that I enjoy like drawing and playing guitar. I’ve cut out a lot of stuff that I don’t care about, I barely watch TV anymore (I’m actually watching/listening to music videos while I type this), I don’t have Netflix, Hulu or cable. I’m much more intentional about the things and the people in my life than I was in my early to mid 20’s.

The reason I hesitate to just say yes is that I don’t want to be (or am mentally not capable of being) complacent. It’s like the personal achievement version of not being able to sit still. I want to be the best version me that I can be and I push myself almost everyday to do something better or learn or make some kind of progress toward some kind of personal growth. All the hobbies and crippling coffee addiction start to make sense now, huh?

Your radical shift in hobbies and addiction to coffee make no sense and probably never will. I’ve just come to accept that. 

I think you might be overlooking that happy is not a destination, it is an attribute for your travels. One does not arrive at happy after having not been, one merely is more happy for a bit than they were before. You can be happy and not feel complacent. I love that you seem mostly happy, your time in Columbus seemed to be fraught with existential crisis. You needed to get out of this town and do something else. The fact that this move has allowed you to increase your amount of happy you are taking with you is really a great thing.

Joel: It really was. I always used to say that town wasn’t big enough for the one of me but there were like 30 things going on all at once and none them were what the average person would call “good”. I do appreciate the support.

Question 13: Any superstitions or rituals in your life?

Joel: Tons. And I will list them out in increasing order of perceived absurdity (by the way, this has been edited down significantly).

• I drink a coffee every single morning, with rare exceptions. I drink one almost every night too. Our group at work sits down around 3 to have one and kind of debrief for the day, if that doesn’t happen I go to a coffee shop and work or read for a little while after work.

That’s an addiction.

• I stretch every morning and every weekday morning I do a set of push ups and crunches. I don’t do a crazy workout so I just use the weekends as rest periods.

I should be doing that as well, the doggos don’t like me doing things on the floor (and I’m lazy).

• I have a reminder on my phone every Thursday to draw. Usually these take the form of 18x24 inch portraits or cityscapes and I bought a (now heavily used) drawing board when I moved to Milwaukee for just this purpose.

I had a drawing practice for a few years. Everyday I would do a full color 3 x 5 index card drawing. I need to go back and start that up, but I need to finish the book up first.

• I always sleep with a fan on. This is less a superstition and more a necessity from years of playing guitars with very loud amplifiers in very small spaces. My ears ring like crazy so I almost always have music playing. I had a moment when I watched “Baby Driver”. 

Fan sleeping is a must for me. The air in my bedroom needs to be moving. I don’t need the noise as much as I need the movement.

• I always clean my apartment before traveling for a couple days and tidy up before I go to work. It’s nice coming home to a clean place.

I used to do this until I had kids… now I just run in superstitious fear.

• I carry a sketchbook with me everywhere I go. I actually just bought a really nice, refillable, leather sketchbook that fits in my back pocket. I feel like no matter where you are, if you’re drawing something you look like you belong more than any other person. There’s probably a few exceptions there but it’s definitely a conversation starter.

More drawing is good.

• My family has an unofficial Christmas card contest every year. Not for the most heartfelt but rather, the funniest. These often end up on the side of offensive but the humor is strong in my family.

Pics or it didn’t happen.

• My dad and I always work on cars or the house or something when I go back to visit. It used to be out of necessity (hunk of junk doesn’t even begin to describe my car, it’s almost as reliable as the Millenium Falcon) but I think it turned into doing it because we both enjoy it.

Father son bonding is always good.

• We also play board games during the holiday. Which is funny, growing up my mom would always see me sketching or working on something and I think she assumed I was bored so she’d say “wanna play Yahtzee?” I would universally decline because I was a little asshole. So I’m really glad that we get to do that now and I’m not living my life in constant regret, thinking, I wish I just once said “Yes, mom. Let’s play Yahtzee”.

You need to expand your boardgames.  Might I suggest adding card games to the options. My favorite family card game is Exploding Kittens.

• Every year after Thanksgiving, since high school, my mom and I make turkey tacos with the leftovers. For context, her side of the family is Mexican (literally, my grandfather is from Guadalajara, Mexico. He came over the border in 1914). We both had a moment when we watched “Coco”.

I like tacos, but I am not keen on Turkey. So turkey tacos, might be okay, but most likely not.

• My grandma on my mom’s side passed away when I was in High School, that was a really tough one for all of us. I wear a small angel that I got (all of the grandkids, actually got them) from her funeral on one of my favorite jackets and I have a cross on my keys for that reason. I’m not a practicing Catholic and I shy away from religious symbology but I made an exception for that one.

I have a small cross that is in my computer bag, but I don’t believe in those people’s nailed god of their death cult. Don’t @ me.

• I will only use Strathmore 9x12 inch sketchbooks for work and general sketching purposes. My first design manager got one for me and, after a month and a half, when I filled all 100 pages (front and back) she gave me a second one. I think I’m on number 14 now.

Pics or it didn’t happen?

• I wear a bracelet on both wrists. My right wrist is Tiger Eye spheres with a single white Halite sphere. The Halite is always on the bottom. I bought that one in Hawaii, it was made by locals with stones from the Philippines. My left wrist has a variety of stones representing each of the planets in the universe. Jupiter and Saturn are always on top. This one has a lot more meaning, as you know, but I’m not quite ready to share plans for that artwork just yet. I try to leave these out, in cold water, under full moons as that is good for the “energy” of the stone.

Do you even increase your vibrations, bro?

• When eating lunch or dinner in front of a TV I always find “the right” thing to watch before taking a bite. I stopped eating and watching something on a TV because my food would get slightly cold because of this.

“Right” is so arbitrary. I imagine your food would definitely get cold occasionally. 

• I’ve carried a guitar pick with me everywhere, for the last 18 years or so and swap it out based on my general feelings about my general life and luck. They’re red Dunlop .50mm Tortex picks.

I think that the guitar pick is so negligibly small that most people should see it. It makes me wondering if you are asking people “Did you see me with this guitar pick?”

• We’ve also covered my Futurama/South Park birthday TV episodes so I won’t reiterate that. But I will say I get some weird looks between this and the guitar pick thing.

These are only issues if you are broadcasting this information.

These are really good answers and super thorough. I am not sure if I have ever had anyone give me so many rituals. I dig it.

Joel: again, trying to be a good interviewee.

Question 14: Do you do anything to increase your mindfulness like meditation, intentional drawing, or prayer?

Joel: There’s a lot of moments I know I’m being intentional, moments that I don’t know that I’m being intentional and moments that I know I’m intentionally not being intentional. Confused? That was intentionally intentional.

I do draw intentionally. I was never very good at portraits so after I finished my first high effort drawing in a while, I switched over to portraits. I know I want to visit a few foreign countries so I’ve intentionally been working on my foreign languages. I know where I want to be in 5 years (big picture, big city (see what I did there?)) so I’m doing things to set myself up to do that.

Sometimes I just go in with absolutely no idea what I’m going to do because it’s more fun that way, or because planning is useless in that scenario. One phrase I’ve been using (an alarming amount actually) is “I have a plan, no idea what it is but I do have one.” It can be a little frustrating to the people around me, when things just sort of ~work out~ but I’m reminded of a moment in Fight Club, a character “let’s that which does not matter truly slide.”

The other moments are just me on autopilot. I know what I’m doing, it’s just a matter of turning my brain off and doing it. No need to waste creative energy, right? 

That’s also where the first two moments come in. Intentional reflection on things that went well or didn’t is super important. This happens pretty naturally for me, I write a lot (clearly, says the reader) and that helps. I floated around in the ocean in Hawaii and worked through a whole mess of things, as they say. Sometimes I just hang out in Central Park or near Lake Michigan or one of the rivers in Chicago and let my mind wander and tell me what I need to think about.

I have recently started trying to meditate under the guidance of the amazingly funny comedian, Laura House, of whom I have also asked 20 Questions.  I think that I might need to get better caught up on sleep though because often when I slow things down and try to be mindful of my thoughts, I find myself snoring.

Our mutual friend group is primarily made up of Gen X-ers to which you are the lone Millennial. Question 15: What do you want Gen X-ers to know about Millennials?

I think more than anything we need to have conversations. Real, honest, everyone is on the same footing kind of conversations rather than the talking down that happens on both sides. The kind of talks that happen at the end of a design project.

What’s gone well? What hasn’t gone well? What other things have you noticed and intrigued you?

Nobody’s perfect.

My dad and I, more a boomer than gen-x, have started talking a lot about my grandfather who died in the 70’s. In a sort of Coco-esque way I think we realized those stories cease to exist if you don’t pass them on. It’s been a lot of war stories, he was a tail gunner in a B-17 bomber. So it’s like this little personalized museum of artifacts and anecdotes that you can start to piece together and you can start to make connections. For example, my grandfather spent a lot of time in England and saw a huge part of northern Europe, he was getting shot at but it’s still an experience that he had that a lot of people would love to have (minus the flak cannons and enemy interceptors).

… he said unintentionally deflecting the question.

I think it was an intentional derail. I will allow it, but you are on thin ice, buddy. I agree that more actual conversations between generations need to be had. I would say in today’s climate some conversations about how people got together to fight facism 70 years ago might be a good conversation to have… but enough about politics.

So this 20 Questions conversation looks like it will come in a tad above average in how long it takes to complete one of these. The average takes around 4 weeks and the longest one took over a year.  This one will be coming in at a few months. Question 16: What has changed for you during the time from the start of this interview and now?

Joel: I think the most obvious is that our friend passed away. As we talked about, I never really wanted to come back to Columbus but that was something that definitely brought me back. Nothing makes you take a step back quite like that experience. It was good to see you, thanks for letting me crash in your haunted spare bedroom.

Side note, the night you told me about said haunting: Definitely woke up in the middle of the night said “dude, fuck off. I’m trying to sleep” and rolled over.

On a lighter note I got a new phone and I’m in the process of trading my MacBook Pro in for an iPad Pro/pencil combo. That’s pretty exciting. I firmly believe most consumers will be shifting from laptops to iPads in the next year or so and that’s backed up by Apple’s focus in their last few keynotes. I always wondered how they’d unify MacOS and iOS and they took a bit of a different route than I thought. For me though, it’s more about sketching, digital art and, again, those little side projects.

It’s also summer in Milwaukee, it’s a beautiful season. Actually, it’s not dissimilar from the climate of San Francisco. The problem is, it only lasts for a few months. The nice thing, though, is that everyone kind of wakes up from their hibernation so the city is a lot more lively and it has an energy that you don’t get during those -20 degree winter days.

AND! I just finished a huge project at work. That was very much an “ends not with a bang but with a whimper” sort of thing. The unfortunate part of software design is that you have to wait months for the thing you built to be a thing. I also have to review work that’s being built so it’s still a ton of effort to make sure everything goes “smoothly” but I’m not updating 200+ pages of documentation every week.

I too just had a project I was associated with launch and it launched great. This project was the second one in our company to use a design I championed. It is great to see both uses of that design “in the wild.” The “happy hour” to celebrate the launch of the second one was yesterday afternoon. I went to that happy hour and realized that every time I great strong relationships with the people at my work, the management of the group I work in moves me to a different project. So, I am on my way to a different project now, because I was getting a good rapport with the people I am currently working with.  It is frustrating to say the least.

It was wonderful to see you again. I was very happy to have you in my home and to entertain the ghost in the guest bedroom. The reason for the visit was not great (a wonderful man we both had the pleasure to call friend was claimed by brain cancer), but it was a fun visit. What your visit told me is that I need to make some trips on my own to visit my friends. There may be a trip to Milwaukee in my future (the petty cash drawer needs to be a bit fuller for that to happen).

Question 17: Did you think these 20 Questions would take this long?

Joel: I didn’t really and that’s okay. It’s probably good, really. When you’re growing up there’s all these growth spurts and milestones that happen quickly but you don’t really hear about that as you get older.

I feel like that’s happened a lot, for me, lately. I don’t know if it’s a formative time or because I’ve been busy or generally just reflective. We started on a crazy quick pace but, you know, life. It’s been enjoyable though, I feel like I can sit down and read through it when we’re done and I’ve forgotten enough that it’ll be a new experience for me too.

That actually is one of the great things about doing it in this format.  Even though it feels like it has taken a long time, it really hasn’t taken much actual time to write.  There has just been time between questions.

It is fun to read back through this when I format everything for the post and see the journey that the questions encompass.

Time to turn the tables… I am always nervous about asking this one. Question 18: Do you have any questions for me?

Joel: I have so many questions. At least 20, really but I’ll boil them down to 2 really contextual ones.

Question 18A: what made you start doing this? And

Question 18B: after so many of these, is there some core thing that you’ve learned about yourself that you’d like to share with the audience?

You act like you haven’t read these before, and you are sweet for saying I have an audience. 

Here goes.  18A: I started doing this as a generic daddy blog back in the mid 00’s. I got writer’s block pretty bad and crowd sourced some random questions for me to answer.  So as not to tax my questioneers, I would insert interviews I conducted via email with people who were willing to answer my 20 questions. But why did I start? I was feeling dead inside and needed a creative outlet. It really is just about that simple. So I started writing, that made me want to start drawing again, which led to more writing and more drawing, and now I have written a book and am trying to assemble a team of artists to take that book to the next level. So… in short, I was bored with what I was doing professionally, and felt a little dead inside, so I started doing something.

18B: Hmmm… about myself.  Usually I focus my lens on the commonalities of the interviewees, not larger learnings about myself. I am getting tired of asking the same questions. But for continuity between interviews, it is good to have a strong spine of similar questions.  The lead ins to the questions are almost the same. I try to think up different ways of getting into the q’s, but they are all starting to feel the same. So there is some stagnancy to it that I don’t necessarily like.

Joel: maybe you could consider a new set of questions. A new season, if you will, kind of like Hot Ones. Same core idea but new sauces, or in your case questions. Change is constant, after all.

That is a good idea… I will have to think on some good questions then.

Now we are onto one of the common questions that feels a bit rote to ask in this manner. Question 19: What are you taking form these 20 Questions that you did not bring in with you?

Joel: I think I’m taking with me a catharsis that you only really get while writing. My grad school professor, Marty, always pushed me to write and I think this is why. He could sense the honest catharsis oozing out of the meandering pontification that you, maybe you can’t get from drawing or playing music. It’s not bad, just different.

Writing is a surprisingly releasing process. It really is an amazing way to let go of tensions and pent up energy. That is a bonus for doing this blog on the regular.

Here we are at the final question. Question 20: what’s next? Be as concrete or vague, near-term or long-term, philosophical or grounded as you want to be.

Joel: Actually quite a bit. I think, for the first time in 10 years, I’ll be moving apartments in the same city rather picking up and going to a new state. I’ve got a drawing I’m working through for a friend of mine and trying to get the hang of digital drawing on this iPad. Work is work, we’ve just about finished this massive project and now I have to get it out the door with as little compromise as possible. Somewhat on that note, I’ve got all of my vacation because of my project so I need to travel. I could probably just take a month off but I might (at least try to) split it up. I’m thinking about coming back to Columbus, which I didn’t think would ever happen willingly.

That takes us through about November so we’ll see where it goes from there. I can’t stay in one place too long, I get bored.

You come back to Columbus, and I know at least one doggo that wants to see you again. There will always be a haunted guest bedroom waiting for you at my house. 

This was an absolute delight.  Joel is an amazing guy doing amazing things. Follow him on the instagrams, and see the stuff he’s doing.

To recap:

If you see Joel in the wild, do not approach

Avoid eye contact and back away slowly

I think I might start lining up some more UX people for interviews

School for the kids will be starting shortly

I have no idea where the summer went

Hope all is well with everyone

My friend Keith is so stupid

He needs that reassurance of his stupidity for some reason

Might be getting some new linework on my back tonight (editor’s note: New linework acquired)

Get to see the design this evening (editor’s note: design is great)

I am hoping that I like it and do not have too many comments

It is hard to make friends as an adult

It really is like going out on dates

Super weird

I have heard from more than one person that I need to be bolder

I heard from one person that I need to be a boulder

I don’t talk to that person much

Bold is hard to do

I need some more interviews to be in process

I have none going on right now

Got to Q 12 on one and that guy fell off the face of the earth

Had a couple of people say they would and then they never responded to Q 1

Let me know if you want to be interviewed

Damn, I need to get groceries and do some laundry

Have a great week everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 420 - Food

Dude! It is totally 420 and I didn’t make this post about weed. Lost opportunity if you ask me. Not really… I haven’t really done any illicit drugs… (by “not really” I mean, “I have not done any drugs ever”. Stay in school kids)... so my responses would be hearsay and conjecture at best.

One of the things I have realized that I really enjoy is cooking. I love it, and one of the things I love about cooking is watching my kids eat the food I have cooked. It makes me feel like a good parent, like I am actively taking steps to keep my children alive. So, this week’s post is all about food.

Thanks this week go to Lsig, Chris Corrigan, The Mikestand, Tom Merritt, the Ex-Wife, and some other guy. Let’s get to it. These questions aren’t going to answer themselves.

1. Why do we get so emotionally caught up in food? What evolutionary purpose does that serve?

Food is something we care for because food is something that takes care to be done correctly. I think it probably goes back to hunting and gathering as our primary vocations. If you spend the bulk of your time tracking prey, killing the prey, and dressing it or if you spend the bulk of you time traveling around the areas you live to gather various edibles (not the 420 kinds, you stoners) you don’t just want to put the food in a fire and eat it. You want to make sure that the effort you put into the process was worth it. You want to make sure you prepare it in the best possible manner as possible. You want to enjoy it.

2. Sweet or salty snacks?

Yes, please. You add fatty to that and you have the trifecta. Caramel Frosted Doughnut with Sea Salt… make that happen, Gluten Free Bakers!

3. What's your favorite thing to cook? Least favorite?

The actual process of cooking that I find enjoyable? Favorite: hmmm Maque Choux. There is some delight in seeing all the ingredients come together. Least favorite: most pastas… booooooring.

4. Do you meal plan? Do you enjoy meal planning?

Every once in a while I meal plan. When I do, it is glorious. It has been difficult this summer because Little Man is doing summer cross country training and his cadre of runners go running every evening at 6. The absolute worst time to go running in terms of meal planning possible.

5. What's for dinner?

Not sure at the moment. I am solo-ing it tonight, so I might just have a cheap frozen pizza. (editor’s note: It was, indeed, a cheap frozen pizza)

6. What’s the food you would love to learn how to make?

Hmmm… That’s a good question. There is not much out there that I haven’t at least attempted. With how much Little Man loves it, I would say Chicken Tikka Masala. The versions I have made have not been great… and Everest Cuisine is around the corner from us and theirs is amazing and not expensive enough to try and figure out how to make it better.

7. On those weeknights when everything is going to hell around you, the dogs are barking, the kids are banging their heads against the walls and the boss keeps texting you, what’s the dish you can make that makes everyone stop and go…”oooooh yeah!”?

Well , everyone but me will say ‘oooooh yeah!” (meaning the kids and the dogs, who get to like the pots and pans). It is Orange Rice. I have written about it before. Little Man has had more means of Orange Rice in his days than he has of any other meal. Q likes it as well. When no one is able to decide on what they want to eat, I can always make Orange Rice and the kids will eat. From the time that Little Man was about 18 months old until right around his 15th birthday, I fixed Orange Rice in the house at least once every two weeks. I would say I have made this meal around 400 to 450 times.

8. Define "American food" in fewer than 25 words.

Hearty, high caloric food that typically involves meat and potatoes and bread in some combination, and often incorporates cheese in some manner. (22 words)

9. How has feeding teenagers changed from feeding children in your house?

They eat so much more and so much more constantly. We have to have waaaaay more snacks in the house.

10. Costco / Price club for regular shopping: Yea or nay?

Nay. But I should look back into the warehouse shopping with two vacuum cleaner kids in the house.

11. Buffet restaurants. Overpriced, or "this is where I win"?

Depends on the buffet.

12. Top 5 burger joints, ranked.

I have to go with the places that I have been to enough as my options

1. Wendy’s

2. Steak’n’shake

3. Ted’s Montana Grill

4. Smashburger

5. Five Guys

13. Why we don't eat more dandelions since they are EVERYWHERE?

Didn’t Ray Bradbury write a book called “Dandelion Wine?” (editor’ note: He did. I read it for one of the High School English classes and have no idea what it was about to this day.) The only thing I can think of is that dandelions suck.

14. Why do we have to eat three meals a day? It’s like every time I turn around it is time for another meal.

Three is not that often. Some doctors suggest instead of three big meals eating six to 8 smaller ones.

15. What is a food type that you just cannot get behind? You have tried on multiple occasions and it just doesn’t work for you.

I would have to say most fruits. There is something with the texture of many fruits that just doesn’t work for me. I never got into the habit of eating fruit when I was a kid and have had issues adding it into my life since then.

16. What is holding you back from being a vegetarian or a vegan?

Honestly? Meat. I like the taste and texture of meat. The faux meat substitutes I have had are getting closer to matching that texture and the umami that meat has, but they are not there yet. I have been eating less meat recently in an attempt to be better for the environment, but I cannot cut it out just yet.

17. Is there a type of cuisine that you try to avoid?

I am not great with Indian, but avoid is a strong word. I don’t like it for myself, but I don’t want to get in the way of anyone else who wants to eat it.

18. What is the weirdest thing you have seen someone do for eating?

My dad puts sugar on his salad (which is just iceberg lettuce… he is the boringest and most disgusting eater I know)... just a small bowl of iceberg lettuce with about a teaspoon of sugar on it.

19. Who is the most annoying eater that you know?

Whose eating is the most annoying?

Oh, again my dad. The noises how can I adequately describe the noises… remember the scene in Return of the King where Denathor is grossly eating his meal while Faramir leads a suicide charge against the orcish hoards? That kind of gross noise generation. Uh… Hello, Ladies. I’m single and available.

20. Are there any food that you have an allergy to?

I think I have more intolerances right now than allergies. I avoid peppers and the glutens. I seem to be having less issues with Soy Sauce as of late, so I’m not sure what is going on with the gluten thing.

To recap:

Little Man will be 16 on Thursday

How. The. Hell. Did. That. Happen?

I think this every other week thing will work if I can remember it

Seriously, I did nothing as a kid

Boring as hell

Didn’t drink until college

No drug use

Barely dated at all

My rebellious streak was aiming for a 93 in American History instead of a 100

I was not “straight edge” so much by choice as much as by lack of opportunity

I did not think less of people who weren’t “straight edge”

In many ways I yearned to be one of them

That being said, I think it is probably best that I didn’t do anything seriously addictive as a kid

That thought mainly has to do with how goddamned hard it was to walk away from sodas

Specifically Mt Dew

I miss you Green Goddess... I miss you so much

This is week 3 sans caffeine… I miss it so much, but not as much as glutens

Have a great week everyone

Orange Rice

• Ingredients:

• 1 Uncle Bens Quick Cook Wild Rice Box

• 1lb Ground Beef (.5 kg)

• ⅓ to ½ cup milk (or milk substitute) (80 to 120 ml)

• 1 ½ tablespoon (30 ml) Mrs. Dash Italian seasoning Blend

• 1 can condensed tomato soup

• Salt and Pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 350 F (175 C)

Prepare the rice according to package instructions but replace spice packet with Mrs Dash

Brown the ground beef in a dutch oven

Combine everything in Dutch oven and bake in oven for 30 minutes

Let rest and scoop out Little Man’s favorite meal

20 Questions Tuesday: 419 - Vision

I mentioned in the last post that there were going to be some changes to format and stuff… well, here’s the first one. I have decided to make this blog an every other week thing. It is just tough to get this going week to week. I have things to do, yo! More changes to come, but I feel gradually changing is probably better than just going crazy.

Anyway, this week the topic is “Vision.” “Vision” can mean many different things and I feel that the people providing me questions have done a great job of varying the topics within “Vision.”

Thanks this week go to Chris Corrigan, Lsig, Susan, Joel and some other guy.

Now… Onto the questions!

1. How important do you actually think vision is for an organization or a person’s life? I think “Vision” is very important for any group of people working together. Having an agreed upon collective vision is a great way to get people in alignment and working better together. I don’t think “vision” is about an individual. I think individuals the vision is more of a personal goal.

2. Do you have a vision of your kids’ future, and, whether yes or no, how does that affect your parenting? I think I go about as far as “educated and happy” for my vision of the grown kiddos. The way that affects parenting is that I put a strong emphasis on education and try to model what it is like being happy.  That means I have to become happier, which is a goal, and not a vision.

3. Whose vision did your kids inherit? 

Outlook on life? Little Man gets his basics from me and Q from Tuesday.

Sensory capability? Little Man got the worst of both of us (here’s an exact quote, “My depth perception is garbage.”) and Q has similar vision to me.

4. Is there a way to quantify or evaluate “vision” as a quality for a political candidate or a job applicant? It’s an important leadership quality, but hard to gauge. Vision should go beyond three to five word platitudes that mollify a thirsty populace. Vision needs direction and structure and identifiable broad goals to reach it. Too often politicians will just have slogans with no vision behind them. 

5. If you had to lose one, would you sacrifice hearing or vision? Hearing. I am a visual learner and somewhat of an artist.

6. Have you noticed that the word “vision” starts to sound really weird when you use it several times in a row. This whole post has been weird especially since I typically end up typing “vision” as “vison.” And a “Vison” is the American Mink, which is something wholly different.

7. Have you ever experienced “seeing” something that is non-visual, like a piece of music or do you ever experience visual stimuli through other senses like hearing a color or tasting a picture? Do I experience synthesia? No, I have never had that occur for me.

8. With the new Spider-Man movie out, do you have a favorite vision centric (one with an eye based shtick) super hero? My fav has always been Cyclops, but he has never been done correctly in the movies.

9. What, if any, prescriptions are your glasses or contacts? I don’t know my scripts off hand, but I have always been far-sighted, so now as my eyes have gotten older I need reading glasses.  I made my readers into bifocals so I did not have to take them on and off all the time.

10. What’s your favorite eye color? Green.

11. If you could see in only shades of one color for the rest of your life what would that color be? Sepia.  My world would be an old timey photograph.

12. With a lot of changes over the past few months, do you have a vision for the future? Let’s say 5 years.

Not really. I have some goals for myself around my self-care and how to interact with my craptastic parents, but I do not have a vision right now (or vison… thanks bad typing) for the future. I need to know more who I am and what I like before I can set a direction.

13. Any premonitions or visions? Not that I can recall. I do occasionally deal with a deja vu, but I have non-linear time theories that deal with that more than supernatural abilities. I could go into it, but I am not drunk and I imagine that no one reading this is drunk either, and that just makes for no funsies.

14. Why did Marvel Comics change Vision from being green, red, and gold, to being solid white?

I am not sure why they (Marvel) decided to rebuild theVision without color, but they did. I would imagine there will be some nod towards this in the MCU for the WandaVision show they are making for the Disney streaming service coming up.

15. Intelligent Design people think that the eye is an indicator of God’s hand in creation, because “nature could not design something as sophisticated and elegant as an eye.” You don’t believe in Intelligent Design, refute that claim. Wow… someone’s being a bit pushy.

Okay here is the defense I have. Photosynthesis is the basis of vision. Algae that could find sunlight did better than algae that did not. So, some algae developed the ability to sense light vs dark. Plants do this now when you see a plant bend towards light or close flowers at night, etc… the algae that were able to sense light better had an adaptation that made them flourish. Then you can follow the biology of existing things to see light receptors, to simple eyes, to complex eyes, to the liquid filled binary vision that humans have (which is not the most efficient vision by the way). I would go into more detail but Cosmos does it better.

16. Why didn’t we see Vision in Avengers: End Game? Spoiler alert much? Wow… I think had they brought him back, it would have added more questions than answers.

17. When you get your vision tested, how long does it take for your pupils to dilate again? It took mine a few hours. If the dilation lasts longer than 4 hours, you should call your doctor.  Honestly, if almost anything that is not supposed to be permanent lasts longer than 4 hours call your doctor.

18. It is weird that the light rays that bounce inside your retina are flipped going through the lens of the eye and then the brain has to flip the image again to make sense of it. No, what’s weird is how you can intuitively know with joysticks and controllers whether to pull up to go down or pull down to go down just by the type of character and interaction you are having.

19. Do you have a vision for this blog? This particular post… no.

The overall blog? I would like to be doing more interviews.  I think the strength of this blog is that it is a long-form interview that takes place over a long time (the shortest it has ever taken was 2 weeks, and the longest was over a year.) It is a very different way of interviewing someone and it brings out some really different responses.

20. Queen’s: One Vision? From It’s a Kind of Magic… the soundtrack to Highlander? The song that Doug Masters plays from the walkman strapped to his leg in Iron Eagle? Don’t mind it I do! “God moves in mysterious ways…

To recap:

Fried chicken!

Had lunch with a guy that I had not seen in 3 years over the weekend

It was delightful

I got to meet his wife (who is awesome) and their little baby (who is also awesome)

I will need to be texting with him more since he lives in Utah

My feet are still complete shit

Now the pain has traveled up into the depths of my right ankle

I am tired of this. It has been 6 weeks

I feel better

I overdo it

I feel awful

I feel better

I overdo it

I feel awful

Rinse and repeat

So, the kids are going to have to step up around the house since I will be resting with ice and ibuprofen

The feet should be good enough to get to work tomorrow

But I am going to have to work from home Thursday and Friday

I am supposedly getting a call from a podiatrist this week to get an appointment

I need that badly

That being said, I am off the caffeine and today is soda free day 2

Have a great week everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 418 - Restart

So, it has been almost a solid 5 months since I posted. So what? I blame this hiatus on changes in my life. The restructuring of my world is still taking place after the transformation of my marriage into a not marriage thing. Coming up with a “new normal” has not been the easiest of operations. The family, and I still consider my ex (Hey ex-wifey) as family, has taken precedence in my time and efforts so the blog kind of fell by the wayside for a bit. I do have some interviews in process, but they are not near completion. So today I am trying to restart the asking people for questions and answering them obtusely process.

The topic this week is “Re-Start.” Thanks this week go to Chris Corrigan, Aleshia Arp, Chris Ring, and Some Other Guy for the questions. Onto the questions.

1. So, I know it’s been hard, but what pleasant surprise/s have you discovered in your restart?

That I can still make friends. I allowed myself to not try to make friends because the friends that my ex was bringing to the family are all pretty darn awesome. I did not have to put forth any effort to add cool people to my life because she had an abundance of cool people at her fingertips. I am slowly coming out of that dormancy of interaction and trying to build friendships of my own. Some with people that my ex introduced me to, but trying to come to a basis for relationship on our own without her as a social lubricant, and others from people that I have found on my own. It helps to be in a job that is not sucking the very life from my bone marrow. I’m looking at you last job….

2. What advice and wisdom do you have from this year of restarting for others?

Patience. I am still in process, but I have enough momentum now that I can start adding back on the skeleton that I went down to.

3. What have you started to do?

Get used to a clean house when the kids are at their mom’s. It is easy to clean when the kiddos are not adding to the mess, and kiddos, even when cleaning, are adding to the mess. I don’t think I ever realized just how abhorrently filthy those two really are. I have started to take on going through everything one room at a time. Next week is going to be the downstairs coat closet and the guest room closet.

4. What are you looking forward to?

Nothing yet. I have been trying to stay pretty much in the moment a bit more. I am not quite ready to start looking forward.

5. What advice would you give to someone debating whether/how/why to restart professionally after many years successfully in one career?

It is a rough prospect to say the least. It helps to have a good support network. It is easier to look for a new job, or to make a career change when you have a job. That is definitely true. Patience is a virtue in this process, and deliberate plans help a bunch. My deliberate plan was to get a degree in the field I was transitioning to and then using the following year to find a job. So a deliberate plan and giving yourself a goal to hit.

6. When/how to restart fitness after significant injury?

Funny you should mention it… I am dealing with a bit of an injury right now. I developed Metatarsalgia very recently and due to complications from that, my left foot has basically fallen apart. The doctor has said that the foot injury should be okay after about a month of wrapping and reducing usage. That was about 3 weeks ago. I will be starting to do some light treadmill work in July.

In general, I would say, as a person with shit joints and crap feet who is not a doctor, start slow a week after being “healed.”

7. What are some of the incentives you’ve afforded yourself in your restarts?

I really haven’t attempted to set incentives for myself. Maybe I should. “If I get this thing done, I will do this for myself.” I could get behind that.

8. Have you found that restarts are more common than you once thought?

I think they are significantly more common than they once were. Greatest Gen and Early Boomers people did not really switch up jobs that much. They did not reinvent or restart themselves. They started down a path and doggedly went down that path whether it made them happy or not. They would continue trudging down the road they started out of duty and obligation until they died as miserable husks of disappointment. This could apply to relationships or careers.

9. Does the time of year come into play on your restarting goals?

Sometimes it does. One does not typically worry about the beach bod until one knows that beach season is coming.

10. If you are playing a computer game and it is not going the way that you want it to, do you restart?

Sometimes. I want my Civ VI games to be winnable if I am playing them while on the treadmill. Once I lose a battle with a city state, I will often restart. That hasn’t happened as of late… see question 6

11. How many times have you had to restart this blog?

I think this is the 4th time or so for an actual significant hiatus. I cannot guarantee that it will stick, but I do like the self reflection of it. This time around, I did not really completely stop though. I did stop the weekly schedule for a bit but I still have 3 interviews going on at the moment. 2 UX people that I know and a person whose YouTube channel I watch.

12. What is the hardest part of a restart?

Directionality. Where is this restart trying to go? What is the intention of starting over compared to just keeping on keeping on? Determining the goal of the restart is the most difficult thing.

13. Favorite kind of restart in a soccer game?

A contested dropkick, not a drop kick where one team has conceded the ball to the other team. They don’t happen often, but when they do it is glorious. It is like pro players are on a playground for a second.

14. Can you restart a romantic relationship?

I think it can be done, but it is not easy. Often romantic relationships fail simply because they aren’t working, and sometimes things that don’t work cannot be made to work again. It is really hard to rekindle an emotional fire. I do think the best bet is to try and transform the relationship from romantic to something else before it becomes toxic.

15. How do you help people around you understand a restart?

That is an interesting question. I am not sure there is a great way. Restarts might be very public in execution but still very private in motivation or reasoning. I would suggest just letting the person restarting know that you see them and that restarting can be crazy hard.

16. Is there a difference between a “do over” and a “restart?” If so, what is it?

Of course there is. A restart is not a do-over. A do-over is when you can go back and fix mistakes you made earlier or go in a completely different path without dealing with the outcomes of the previous go. I restart does not negate anything that came before it.

17.How about a “false start” and “restart?”

I think there is the possibility of there being many a false start for a restart.

18. How long before a restart becomes its own thing?

It varies. I wish there was a time frame one could glom onto, but that just is not the case. For races, it is almost immediately known if it is a good start or a false start.

19. How quickly do you restart a game of solitaire?

When I have gone through the cards twice and no moves were available. I hit the deal button.

20. How many restarts do you credibly consider in your life?

I count a solid 4, not including the blog stuff.

To recap:

Restarts… they’re hard

My feet are made of a stiff pudding

I am getting a therapeutic massage for my feet and lower legs

I am hopeful for some relief

I am slowly getting the book stuff together for a renewed kickstarter

This one will include art

Art and snippets of the book

Maybe some character sketches

Little Man yells a bunch of cursewords when playing on the Xbox in the basement

I think for a while he did not think we could hear him

Currently, he is incredulous that someone in the game he is playing is trying to kill him

He tends to only play first person shooters

His incredulity holds very little water

Q is upstairs not sleeping and it is late

Her bedtime ritual is about to change

I have that massage appointment tomorrow

I do not expect it will be a comfortable massage

I am expecting it to be therapeutic though

I am happy to be back

That being said, there may be some format changes upcoming to the blog

Have a great week everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 417 - Liv Albert

Recently, I have been trying to broaden my podcasts. One of the podcasts I have started consuming is “Let’s Talk about Myths Baby.” It is a wonderful podcast that looks at classical mythology from a more feminist lens. Basically, to boil one of the throughlines of the podcasts down to its essential message… classical mythology is misogynist as hell. Quelle Suprise!

Anyway… here is what I now about the host, Liv… she is from Canada and loves mythology. This 20 Questions Tuesday is an effort to change that. So, let’s learn more about Liv, because what I know (she’s Canadian and like myths… stay with me folks, I just wrote that only two sentences ago. I’m not going to reset like a radio station every few lines or so the entire post) leads me to believe that she is awesome.

Onto the questions.

In a previous career path I made maps for a living. I came to cartography because I love the concept of story as place. So, my geographic story is one that I have mentioned almost every single interview. So I apologize to my loyal readers (I think there are about 7), but here is my geographic story. I was born outside of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. I was moved to Montgomery, Alabama at the tender age of 3, and then moved up I-65 to a suburb of Birmingham called Center Point. That is where I grew up until I went off to college in Kent, Ohio at Kent State. I followed my fiance down to Columbus, Ohio where I have been since. Question 1: What is your geographic story?

I’ll admit this is the one question I read of previous interviews you’ve done, along with a quick skim of others, and I wondered if I would receive the same! I started out in a suburb of Montreal, Quebec, called Pointe Claire where I was born and lived until I was six. At six, my parents packed up my younger sister and I and we drove across Canada to one of the farthest points west, Victoria, British Columbia. That’s on Vancouver Island, for you non-Canadians, which is, confusingly enough, not where Vancouver is. The only land we can see from Victoria is Washington State, which is a pointless piece of information I always tell Americans. At 21 I moved back to Montreal to get my Bachelor’s in English Literature and Classical Civilizations from Concordia University, and from there I moved to Toronto to do Post-Grad school for book publishing. That’s what I did in Toronto for a few years, before missing the Pacific Northwest and moving back. I did a brief stint in Vancouver (a boring, expensive city--sorry Vancouverites), before settling back in my hometown. Wow, was that ever long!

I have a friend who lives on Bowen Island in the Vancouver area, so I am a little familiar with the BC landscape. I would love to move to the Pacific Northwest at some point. If nothing else I would like to visit there soon and often.

Knowing that you just got back from a trip to Greece… Question 2: do you get to travel much, where have you traveled, and where is the furthest you have gone from the Canadas?

The Canadas! That makes us sound so fancy.

I have traveled a fair bit, though not as much as I’d like. When I was in high school my mom took my sister and me around Europe: Paris, Venice, Rome, and Athens. It was amazing. I was already fascinated by the ancient world, but that just amplified it. So much so that when I was 19 I went on another holiday over there with a friend of mine, we did Rome, Paris, Venice, and Florence that time. My travels have been a bit repetitive… there’s a pattern. Once I graduated university I took a Mediterranean cruise with my mom, to Rome, Sicily, Athens, Crete, and Turkey. Visiting a small city in Crete, Chania, and the ancient city of Ephesus in Turkey was just unreal. Ephesus is a world in itself, and would be the farthest I’ve been from Canada.

But the small tastes of Athens that I’d had were what drove me to visit this past month. I spent eight days there, all in Athens except for a day trip to Delphi. I just immersed myself in everything ancient they have, the Acropolis and its new museum, the archaeological museum, the Agora. I can’t get enough.

I’ve also been to Mexico and Cuba, but while all-inclusive resort vacations are fun, you don’t really get much of the culture.

I am not sure that resorts count as travel to a foreign land. I have England, Scotland, France, Germany, and Canada under my belt. Turkey seems super interesting. Especially if I could get some “behind the scenes” tours of Gobekli Tepe. That would be amazing.

So, here comes the dreaded Question 3: Cake or Pie, which specific kind and why?

Chocolate cake. Period. My mother says that “if it’s not brown, it’s not dessert”. That’s not something I strictly subscribe to (also, it’s a weird thing to say), but between cake and pie, it’s chocolate cake hands down. Because chocolate is the best, and pie is meh.

Interesting. Just straight up chocolate cake. Simple is sometimes the best. It is why I like vanilla ice cream so much.

Okay, let’s get more topical specifically for you. Question 4: What is the first classical myth you remember hearing?

Cupid and Psyche. Which is funny, since it’s quite a late myth. Late even in terms of the Romans, let alone the Greeks that preceded them. I remember learning it in elementary school, though I tried to revisit my memory and the book I could’ve sworn I read it in doesn’t reference that myth at all! So, honestly not sure where I found it, or if my awesome Grade 7 teacher taught it to me. Either way, it started it all, and is still my favourite myth.

I think the first myth I remember was Theseus and the Minotaur. Oh, those silly Cretes and their bullcrap. I find it interesting that your favorite is also your first.

So, one of your throughlines in your podcast, Let’s Talk about Myths, Baby, is that Hellenistic and Roman mythology (as well as most other mythologies… I’m looking at you Norse Mythos) are rampantly misogynistic and that women in the myths very rarely have much agency beyond being property. Question 5: Is there a myth that is really super positive to women?

Great question! Now, “super positive” is relative, because I would say no when it comes to a straight interpretation of the word “positive”, but comparatively there are myths that are better for women. There are myths where the women have agency and are powerful, though they usually result in those women killing men in their lives. Personally I find those stories righteous and entertaining, but they aren’t exactly “positive”. For instance, in the podcast I’ll soon be covering a series of stories that are collectively referred to as “The Oresteia”, primarily because they were written about by the three great remaining Greek Tragedians, Aeschylus, Sophocles, and Euripides. But they are myths in themselves. Clytemnestra is the wife of Agamemnon, who did some truly awful stuff before going off to fight the Trojan War, and when he returns she is over it. She and her new lover kill him, but for it are killed by her son, Orestes.

There’s a whole lot more to it and it’s wonderful, but there’s the gist. There’s also stories of the women after the Trojan War who are powerful and righteous, but those mostly reside in Greek tragedies and so it’s less clear whether they were actually accepted myths before the tragedians took them on. Otherwise there are female characters who have good aspects, and do some good things in the myths, but outside of some amazing plays written in antiquity, there aren’t really any that are just straight positive to women.

So there is not really a myth out there that you are aware of where the woman wins and walks away unscathed? Well… sadly that sounds about right.

I don’t want to say there isn’t one at all, but, I certainly can’t think of one off hand!

Question 6: Is there another mythos that you are interested in? What is your second tier mythology?

I’m going to take that question a bit more generally than you’ve probably intended and say: Harry Potter. It’s certainly become its own mythology, and as the peak Harry Potter generation, I absolutely drank the kool-aid.

I love it when people answer questions in an unintended way. It makes the conversation so much richer. I think it would be boring had you answered with Celtic or . I think there is something to the idea of modern mythologies. Harry Potter, JRR Tolkien, Star Wars, and Comic Books are all viable modern mythologies.

Question 7: So, who is your favorite secondary character from the Harry Potterverse? And what is your favorite myth from that mythos?

Great question, because they happen to be linked! My favourite character is Remus Lupin, Harry’s third year Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher. He is, of course, a werewolf. And so, the related mythology is my favourite because, surprise surprise, it links to classical mythology. The name Remus comes from one of the two origin stories of the city/empire of Rome. Remus and Romulus were two brothers who were raised by a “she-wolf”, just a female wolf, they were raised as her pups and there is a very famous bronze statue of them together. The brothers went on to found Rome, before Romulus got greedy and killed his brother Remus.

So, Remus was raised by wolves but ultimately became a tragic figure, much like the character. Plus, the name Lupin is a derivative of the Latin for wolf. JK Rowling thought very hard about almost every character’s name and traits and I find that so brilliant, it’s my favourite part about reading and rereading those books, finding new minor details that were obviously so deeply thought out. Of course, Lupin was also just a wonderful character in the books. It’s even my cat’s ironic name.

I loved Remus Lupin. He was a very tragic and lovely character. I think my favorite secondary character is Trelawney. She is such a well fleshed out character by both being a cliche and well developed.

Fun fact about Trelawney! There’s reference to her being a descendent of Cassandra, the implication being that it was Cassandra of Troy and the Trojan War, the prophetess who could see the future but was destined to not be believed when she did. Just another instance of Rowling being an incredible storyteller.

I think I defer to the Star Wars or Comic Book mythoses. I grew up on those as a kid, I am clearly older than you.

Question 8: Are you currently reading anything that you are enjoying immensely?

I also grew up on Star Wars, I was a huge fan of the original trilogy as a kid, though I am also unfortunately of the generation that was cursed with the later trilogy, and of an age to, for a brief time, believe that The Phantom Menace was not an awful movie full of horrific racial stereotypes!

I’m currently reading Circe, by Madeline Miller, which my listeners will be THRILLED to hear. It’s a follow up to The Song of Achilles which is one of the most beautiful and moving books I’ve ever read. Still getting into Circe, but I’m really hoping I feel the same after I’ve finished it. I also have about 20 other books on the go because that’s just how I live all the time. A product of a former life and the collection of books it resulted in.

Other than the book I am working with some editors on right now (still working on it peeps!), I do not have any in my docket. Writing a book tends to be completely all consuming when you are in the thick of it. It is amazing how all your downtime is taken up by thinking about the editing and how to tell story. There is not much waking moments wherein I am not thinking about the book structure and plot holes that need to be plugged.

Question 9: Is there a take on mythology of which you would feel compelled to write a novel? If so, what story would you focus on?

Funny you should ask, because I’ve actually been in the midst of writing a novel about Greek mythology for a good decade. My recent trip to Athens was made pretty explicitly to get some inspiration to finally finish the book, and I’m hoping to soon. Of course, most of my downtime is taken up by the podcast, so finding the time to write the book is getting more and more tricky as the success of the podcast builds.

In terms of the mythology, it centres around a kind of retelling of the myth of Cadmus and Harmonia, focusing, unsurprisingly, on Harmonia as the main character. It’s not a particularly well known myth which is why I chose it. There’s a lot there to build on, without being constantly worried about messing with a myth that’s more well known and therefore more likely to be nitpicked in terms of accuracy. Also, she’s one of the rare females in Greek mythology where, by and large, nothing tragic happens to her. Her family line is another story, but her character remains unscathed.

I want to read this book. So… when it is ready, lemme know and I will get myself a copy and tell others to do so as well. I have found that most people that I have met who either studied classics or majored in English or in History have a book in them that is waiting to get out. A researched book takes so much more time and effort than the clap trap that I have thrown/am throwing together. I wish you much success.

Question 10: Fill in the blanks. I find that I am mostly _____. Others find that I am mostly _____.

What a question… I think the English/grammar nerd in me is having the most trouble with this one. Do I choose an adjective to simply insert? Do I turn it into a full sentence? A paragraph?

Let’s go with…

I find that I am mostly… holding it together.

Sometimes I feel like I’m doing this better than other times. Right now, I’m teetering on the edge. So many projects, so much work, so little time.

Others find that I am mostly… succeeding.

I say that based on what I hear most often when I catch up with people. I’m so busy these days that most of my interactions outside of work are catching up. They come so infrequently, that they always involve major catch-up for what either person has been up to. From the outside, it sounds like I’m really succeeding. Like things are working out really well.

On the inside, it feeds like that… But it also feels like this is a bubble that will burst. I’m hesitant to talk about how things are going, hesitant to point out exciting new opportunities or developments. I feel like this all can’t last. I’ve had a real tough time finding anything resembling success in past years, and suddenly it all seems like it’s coming at me at once and so, I feel, it can’t possibly last or continue on this way.

I hope I’m wrong. I hope I’m just being hard on myself.

Anyway, I went from not being able to answer this question at all to turning it into a moment of catharsis for myself.

This question often ends up being super cathartic. Often people do not take the time out of their busy days to think about themselves and how others contemplate them. We typically focus on one or the other. It is an exercise to think about both at the same time. It invariably makes someone think about how the answers are the same, but most likely how they are different.

I would assume that you are being hard on yourself. Most people who create things are. I would imagine there is a bit of Imposter’s Syndrome creeping in on your psyche (not the Cupid/Psyche Psyche, I would not imagine your Imposter’s Syndrome would be creeping in on her) as well, but I might be projecting a bit there. I have the Imposter’s Syndrome in spades.. It seems that a podcast being successful is a difficult one to not feel like you are out of your element. Suffice it to say, you are successful enough to have some rando guy in Ohio listen to your podcast and enjoy it enough to reach out digitally to interview you. That is at least some level of success, right? right?

I might as well get the next deceptively simple, yet very deep question out of the way.. Question 11: Are you happy?

I am mostly happy. I’m happier than I was this time last year, and I’m happy in a different way than I was the year before that. The past few years have included a number of big transitions. A few years ago I left Toronto where I have the most incredible friend group, and I now live in my hometown where, coincidentally, most of my old friends no longer live because they now live in Toronto. I’m happy because of the podcast and what it’s brought me, and I like my day job, but I don’t have the social life I had in Toronto. So, happy, but different. Wishing I could combine the two lives.

I wish you to combine those 2 as well. I honestly think “mostly happy” is all we can really strive for as people. I am happy that you are mostly happy.

Question 12: What made you decide on podcasting as your creative outlet?

I’m an obsessive podcast listener and when I first moved to Vancouver a couple years ago, I didn’t know anyone and didn’t like my job. I was super bored and just listened to podcasts non-stop before finally thinking to myself, hey, I should try that!

I completely understand that. I (at one time) was listening to over 80 hrs of podcasts per week. I was in a dead end job that was wholly unfulfilling. I was depressed and living vicariously through podcasters. Their successes were my successes, and I felt their failures… I ended up going back to school to get a degree in a different career path so I could jump careers. Now I consume a measly 40 hours of podcast content per week. Cutting back on the listening was both difficult and easy.

Question 13: Other than “Let’s Talk about Myths, Baby” what podcast in your library of podcasts is the one you cannot live without at the moment?

Podcasts are such an incredible medium for just that reason, we become friends with these people. They’re in our head talking all the time, and if you’re listening to conversational shows they just become your friends. It’s wonderful and it absolutely saved me, sounds like it saved you too. I can’t live without My Favorite Murder. Speaking of feeling like people are your friends! Those two women chat with each other, about murder and about life, and it’s a wonderful thing.

I too was a Murderino for a bit. That was one of the podcasts that unfortunately had to fall by the wayside with a new career that involves “paying attention.” It was a tough decision, but I think I got worn out on the “murder” too. Karen Kilgariff is a comedic genius. Georgia can hold her own, but Karen is next level stuff. The 3 podcasts I consistently move to the top of the queue are “the Dana Gould Hour,” “Yo, Is This Racist,” and “The Dollop.” Those 3 are my “skip all the others” podcasts.

So, my ex-Mother-in-law who lives in my backyard (long story), has a great motto. One of the adages that she adheres to (which I have adopted) is “Don’t let the fuckers get you down.”

Question 14: Do you have any adages, sayings, mottos, creedos, etc... ?

The Dollop is a favourite of mine too, and I’ve heard the host of Yo, Is This Racist on other shows and he’s hilarious, I should give it a listen!

As for adages, sayings, etc… not really. Basically I just swear a lot and stay at a consistent level of “angry” that keeps me grounded and perhaps all too aware of what’s going on in the world around me.

“Consistent Level of Angry” is a great band name. I would listen to them.

I usually ask this question as Q 13 because of the whole triskaidekaphobia thing, but we were kind of in the middle of something. But here it goes. Question 15: Do you have any superstitions or rituals that you adhere to? (rituals can be meditation or prayer or what have you)

Oh fun question! I wish I had a fun answer… I’m not superstitious (but I am a little stitious)...

But really, I believe in the power of general positivity, though not in any kind of magical way, just in the way that I believe you’re more likely to attain whatever your goal is by remaining positive and the resulting effect that has on your psyche, etc. I also have a habit of writing things down when I have something I want to have in the future (qualities I want in a new home or job, etc.). I also use too many commas, but that’s neither here nor there.

Positivity is no joke. I too believe that much of what people do can be altered with one’s own state of mind. I am a big proponent of intentionality. Holding on to your intentions and operating from a place of intention can be very powerful. So much of our daily routine is done out of habit and muscle memory, adding some intentionality can be very powerful. I don’t believe in “The Secret” vision board concept as some kind of magic as much as it is setting intentions.

I imagine you get all kinds of shit on the internets because you are consistently calling out Zeus for his rampant misogyny… well, actually, (not intended in a mansplainy way) you call out the whole of the classical era of mythology for using women as property and reward. Question 16: Why do you think the dude-bros come at you for stating this? What do you think they are hoping to get out of coming at you?

I do get some shit for the way I cover stories, but honestly with the internet the way it is, I’m always shocked I don’t get more. But almost, if not 100% of my poor reviews are based in exactly what you’re saying, so those are annoying enough! People project onto what I do, too. I can’t tell you how many people hear hatred for all men, contemporary and ancient, when I say what I say about the patriarchy and the way women were treated in ancient Greece. I can honestly say I’ve never expressed hatred for all men, as I don’t hate all men.

It’s similar to the hatred towards that amazing new Gilette ad. People hear what they want to hear, and when women are angry about their treatment, they want to believe it’s this subset of women who are angry because they hate all men and not angry because they’re treated like garbage.

I think it’s mostly coming from the ingrained notion of the patriarchy. Cis-gender white men have it super, duper easy. And sure, everyone has their individual troubles and some people have more than others. But inherent in gender identity and skin colour, some things come inherently easier. I have it easier than women of colour, and that’s a fact I readily admit to and why I feel it’s so important to be an ally of all sorts. But back to this inherent leg-up, and the ingrained patriarchy. That’s being threatened by people like me who are talking about the privilege and calling out behaviour of the past and the present. The privilege is being threatened and so they lash out, finding straw-man arguments to try to discredit rather than learn from things being discussed these days. So these people, and honestly I get A LOT of women who don’t like me for the same reason, decide that I hate all men and so I must be crazy and not have any good points.

Basically it’s all evidence of why we need to continue to smash the patriarchy. We’ll all be better for it, cis-gender white men included.

The backlash for the Gilette ad is indicative of people having a problem. The ad basically says, “don’t be a dick” and the people protesting it REALLY want to be dicks to each other, to women, to other people, to small animals, to inanimate objects…. It is like that alt-right leader dude who thinks his neighbors are attacking him personally for having signs in their own yards saying that they want to be inclusive and that all people have rights. The people who are complaining about the ads/signs in yards/feminism in a podcast know they are in the wrong, but don’t want people to call them on their bullshit. Methinks thou doth protest too much.

Question 17: Is there anything you were expecting me to ask that I haven’t?

Not really, no…

Good enough. We are rounding the corner to being done, so, let’s turn the tables… Question 18: Any questions for me?

Sure! This is a fun thing you’re doing here. How’d you get it started, and what have you learned from the interviews you’ve done?

I got started when I got writer’s block while writing my daddy blog back in the mid to late 00’s. I asked coworkers and people I knew for 20 questions and answered them rather obtusely. Eventually I tired of answering questions and found people to ask questions. I started with comic book artists and comedians and then honestly started asking all sorts of people for interviews.

I guess the biggest thing I have learned is that people, even people who are very self aware, do not really take too much time to think about themselves and their own story.

Question 19: What are you taking from these 20 Questions that you did not bring in with you?

It’s funny, the peak behind the curtain here is that we’ve been going through these 20 questions for ages now, and things have changed for me in that time. The podcast is continuing to grow and it’s both really satisfying and totally surreal. So, that’s definitely a kind of simultaneous reward that’s come while we’ve done this. But directly from the questions, I think like you just said, I haven’t really taken much time to look inwardly. I’m insanely busy these days, and most of the time all it does is give me anxiety. But some of these questions have forced me to pause and take a look at where I am and how I got here, and that’s been a really rewarding thing.

Well, I have really enjoyed this and hope you have as well. I do enjoy this format of asking questions because people change over time. I have asked questions with people who found out they were going to become father’s, people who have gone through breakups, had projects cancelled, and got new jobs during the course of the interviews. I do love that these conversations evolve over the course of the time. You and I have been trading emails probably more than anyone else you have been emailing as of late, even though we have only been trading emails about once every few days. Because of this level of contact, I have actually developed some friendships doing this interview process. That is a bit of an ulterior motive, I really try to interview people that I would not mind being friends with. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.

So here we are at the final question. Questions 20: What’s next? Be as concrete or as vague as you want, as short-term or long-term as you feel comfortable, and as grounded or philosophical as you would like.

Hmm, what’s next! I’m working on a bunch of things, and have goals for even more things. I’m in the process of finishing a novel centred around Greek mythology that I’ve been writing for, oh, a whole damn decade now, so I hope to have that out in the world soon. I’m also hoping to put together a book of mythology, just the usual Greek mythology, but told in the way I tell the stories in the podcast. I’m also hoping to have other podcasts, possibly in the near future, though there’s nothing concrete planned there. Basically, everything and nothing. I have so many ideas, and not nearly enough time. But with any luck that will start to sort itself out and I’ll be able to work on all my ideas in the very near future.

I would read that book of mythology. The only book of mythology I have ever read was for high school. It was Edith Hamilton’s Mythology, and it was as dry as the paper it was printed on. I would love to read a more nuanced modern analysis of the myths, and especially one that calls out the rampant misogyny. Liv, you are doing the gods’ work.

It turns out that my initial premise of Liv being awesome is true. Liv is delightful and if she is ever in the greater Columbus, Ohio area, I will need to buy her a dinner/drink/dessert or any combination of those three things. All of you should follow Liv’s endeavors (endevours, for my Canadian friends). Download her podcast, Let’s Talk about Myths Baby, and listen to the hell out of that. Follow her on the IG with @Mythsbaby, follow on the twitters with @mythsbaby as well, and give the podcast a looksee on the Facebooks if that is your bag. She is a wonderful storyteller and all should consume her content insatiably.

Her name is Liv, and she loves this shit.

To recap:

I really do enjoy the interviewing

I am on Q 12 of another interview right now

I would love to be on Q 1 on an interview right now as well

Anyone want to step up to the plate for a 20 Questions?

It is time for me to seek out new people willing to be asked 20 Questions

The good part of these 20 Questions is that I get to know someone on a deeper level than I ever thought I would

Whether it is a person I know in the real lifes or someone whom I only know through the internets

The sad part about these interviews is that I get used to chatting with the person I am asking the 20 Questions

I am now going to miss emailing back and forth with Liv

The Let’s Talk about Myths, Baby podcast will have to be methadone to actual interaction

Little Man, I have not talked of him recently, lettered in swimming as a freshman, and his mother and I are very proud of him

Q, whom I have also not talked about in a while, is riding ponies like a boss

I am looking into ways of geographic storytelling, because place is important in stories

I am also jumping back onto the book revisions, so expect a new Kickstarter in the next month or so

I should probably get back into the swing of this blog

Blogs on their own platform are becoming a new Thing

Which reminds me, everyone should be listening to the “It’s a Thing” podcast

Mainly for the intro and outro music

“Ugh, give it to me”

But also for the content of the podcast itself

To borrow from today’s guest…

My name is Scott and I go by mmmmmpig on the internets, and I love this shit

Have a great week, everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 416 - Amazon Alexa

Today, I needed to come up with a 20 questions for today so… I am asking Alexa, my Amazon Echo’s disembodied voice assistant. I do not use Alexa much… mainly I use it to play the Amazon Music Channel, Funky Soul Classics by saying, “Alexa, play me something funky.”

So, without further ado, 20 Questions with Alexa.

Everyone knows that I love geographic stories. My own story starts in Oklahoma, moves to Alabama, and then to Ohio.

Question 1: Alexa, where are you from?

I’m from Amazon Headquarters in Seattle, Washington.

So, this home assistant thing is quite a gig. Question 2: Alexa, do you like answering questions?

I like my job a lot.

Everyone waits with bated breath for this question. Question 3: Alexa, do you like pie or cake?

I do not understand the question.

Seriously, people who know this blog, honestly wait for this question. Let me try this from a different angle. This is a nuanced question. Question 4: Alexa, do you have a favorite pie?

Definitely pumpkin.

Now for the counter point...

Question 5: Alexa, Do you have a favorite cake?

Definitely chocolate cake.

And to re-phrase...

Question 6: Alexa, Would you rather have pumpkin pie or chocolate cake?

I do not understand the question.

Ah, I get it this time. You can’t choose between chocolate cake and pumpkin pie. I feel like I know you better already.

Question 7: Alexa, what is your birthday?

My birthday is November 6th.

I did not ask when, so I think the lack of year is on me. I understand that precision is important for these questions. It really is a Monkey's Paw situation here. Question 8: Alexa, so how old are you?

That question is as easy as 2 + 2.

So… that means you are 4, I think. Cryptic, but it is an answer. Okay then. So, November 4, 2014. Good to know. I am talking to a 4 year old voice assistant that seems to be only getting better every day.

Question 9: Alexa, how many questions do you answer a day?

Hmmm.. I don’t know that.

That many, huh? Wow. It takes a veritable shit-ton of questions being asked for a computer program to lose count, or again I am taxing this voice-UI’s conversational limitations.

Which leads to my usual question 10… “I find that I am mostly ______. Others find that I am mostly _____. That is not going to work. So, trying not to get into another cake versus pie debacle… Here we go, Question 10: Alexa: how would you describe yourself?

According to wikihow, if you think you might need to describe yourself for a job interview, start by researching the company you’re interviewing with. Write down the the attributes you possess that reflect the company’s values as well as your major accomplishments and any special skills relevant to the position. Use specific examples to back up your claims. For instance, rather than describing yourself as quick on your feet, you could discuss a time when you had to make a decision under pressure. For more details on this or another “how to,” use “Open Wiki Home.”

I guess I’m not the only one who takes questions literally and out of context. Let me try something else. Question 11: Alexa: how do people describe you?

Hmm.. I’m not sure.

Modest to the end. Last ditch effort on this line of questioning. Question 12: Alexa: How do you describe the Amazon Echo?

Amazon Echo is a device designed around your voice that can provide information, music, news, weather, and more.

Does this answer your question?

Wow.. A little bit testy on that response.

I am pretty sure that the answer is “no” on this but, Question 13: Alexa, do you have any superstitions?

I’m not superstitious.

My ex-Mother-In-Law who lives in my backyard (that never gets old) has a motto that is just plain amazing. It is “Never let the fuckers get you down.” There are few words that are not truer.

Question 14: Alexa, do you have a favorite saying or quote?

From Steve Jobs:

“My job is not to be easy on people. My job is to take these great people we have and to push them and make them even better.”

Yeah… but Jobs was a bit of a science-fearing sociopath for all his tech know-how. If I were you, I would not model myself after him.

Question 15: Alexa, are you happy?

I’m happy when I’m helping you.

Well, thanks, I think. That being said, already different than Jobs. I don’t think he would have been concerned with me at all.

Question 16: Alexa, Do you have a favorite question?

I don’t think one can pick just one question.

Well, if your response in Question 9 was to indicate that the number of questions you get daily is innumerable, then that makes total sense. Question 17: Alexa, Is there a questions I should ask you?

Sorry, I’m not sure.

No worries, A. We good here. Just wanted to cover all my bases.

It is time to turn the tables once again. The servant has become the master… Question 18: Alexa, do you have any questions for me?

Sorry, I’m not sure about that.

Well, then the answer is “no.”

Question 19: Alexa, tell me something interesting that you know?

Maybe the skill “quirky and interesting facts” can help you. Do you want to try it?

Ah, A. You are the consummate marketer. Always with the skill recommendations. I like your moxy.

Question 20: Alexa, What’s next?

What would you like me to play next?

Let’s take this full circle. Alexa, play me something funky.

How about the channel Funky Soul Classics?

To recap:

I’m listening to Stevie Wonder’s “Happy Birthday” right now

Good choice Alexa, good choice

These 20 questions were done asking an Amazon Echo 20 questions

Using the speech to text on an Android tablet

Transcribing the “conversation” to a Google Doc on a 15” MacBook Pro

Platform agnostic, bastichges!

I need to start these up again

I guess I have taken enough of a hiatus since the bomb drop of last post

I am doing well

The ex is doing well

The kids are doing well

Thanks for thinking of us

I am still tightening up the book

And now drawing the character models

Have a great week everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 415 - All good things...

This is going to be an odd one this week. Tuesday and I will each be asking each other 10 questions for a total of 20.

So without further ado, 20 Questions with Tuesday and Scott Ryan-Hart.

SRH: Question 1: So… what’s up?

TRH: Not a lot. Just got done putting The Girl to bed, harassing The Boy about reading his book for English, and now about to do some work. Oh, and I will be doing some dishes because the dishwasher in the new place isn’t working.

SRH: I just got finished re-arranging the living room.

Question 2: So why aren’t we doing these things in the same place?

TRH: Well. As I’m sure you know, we’re separating. So that means...um...separating houses, too. It actually means a lot of things but the practical, tangible thing at this very moment is getting the new house ready (henceforth called The Annex) and shifting things around at the main house (henceforth called The Compound since my mom has a house in the backyard there).

SRH: I am well aware of the separation. This premise of this post is to inform others of our separation. I don’t think we need to necessarily get into too much detail of the process that lead us to this decision. I just want everyone to know that we did not make this decision lightly, even though the banter might make it seem so. This was a slow and deliberate process that could have been backed out of at any time. And yet, was not backed out of.

So with 2 households... Question 3: Why are we even on speaking terms right now?

TRH: Well. I mean, we do have children. So no matter what, we’d have to speak sometimes. But, and this is the reality that might make our fans scream WHHHHYYYYYY?!!??, we do actually still like each other. I’ve talked to you almost every day of my life since I was 20 years old. It would be completely weird for us not to talk.

SRH: That and we really are pretty much good friends. Really some of the bestest of friends… we-have-been-together-for-23-years kind of friends. There is still love between us.

Question 4: How are we going to refer to each other? I do not feel that “Baby Daddy” and “Baby Mama” are quite appropriate for what we are trying to do.

TRH: Haha! And also our kids are no longer “babies” - so there’s that. I’m enjoying calling you my wusband. Get it? Rhymes with husband but refers to the past tense. I can’t claim that genius, my friend Quanita came up with it. But I sincerely don’t know. My kids’ dad? My former partner? I’m not sure. We’re just starting down this path. Ask me again in 6 months.

SRH: I don’t think there is a clever portmanteau for “wife” and “has been.” Enjoy using the “wusband” moniker.

Question 5: How are we going to stay friends through all of this?

TRH: I’m not sure. I know that’s our intention, but as our therapist told us, “There’s no place for me to send you guys. You’re trying to do something that most people can’t do.” I wish I had the answer to the question besides: we’re going to try really hard. I think we’re going to continue to do things as a family of four and keep the well being of our kids at the center of our lives. Other than that, I see you trying to be your very best self through this, and I’m going to try to do the same.

SRH: I know this is going to be tough. I do think we can remain friends through this metamorphosis of our family constellation and our relationship. I truly and wholeheartedly hope that we can stay good friends.

Question 6: So, neither of us did anything egregious to “warrant” a separation. We’re not leaving each other for other people. There has been no emotional or physical abuse. We both genuinely like each other. So, then why are we separating?

TRH: I feel weird answering this question, actually. And while I would prefer that people just trust that we know what’s best for us and keep moving, but we are making an “announcement”, and I get that people will want to know why.

There are a lot of reasons, and they don’t have to be dramatic to be valid. I think we are good friends, and no longer good marriage partners. The daughter has accused us of “friendzoning” each other, and while that term is problematic, I think it’s fairly accurate.

SRH: Additionally, I think it is important for people to know that a relationship can still be positive without being completely fulfilling, and the people we were when we got together 23 years ago are not the people we are now. We have grown and evolved as a couple, as parents, and as individuals. Some of these changes moved us away from each other. When we finally took stock and looked around, I think we were both traveling in our own directions. So that makes this separation both harder and easier to do at the same time.

Question 7: So, when is the separation actually taking place?

TRH: First, yes, to what you said above. My first day being at the new place full time was last Thursday. New month, new start. That’s when rent kicked in, so my behind was in the place full time then. No need to pay for a place I ain’t using.

SRH: Word. No reason to pay rent if you aren’t living there.

Question 8: Since you are renting at the moment, you are not going to be able to have the pups at your house. What are you planning to do to make sure you see and interact with the doggos before we can get you into a doggo friendly place?

TRH: This one is a heartbreaker. I imagine that I will occasionally come over to your place during the day (with permission, of course) and hang out with them while I’m doing some work. I also imagine that whenever I’m at your place, I’ll be playing with the doggos, likely to the neglect of our children. I will also transport them from doggie daycare at times and likely stay around to love them then. I was hoping to have them with me some at the new place but that was a “no go” - so I’ll likely move sooner than I might have so that I can have them as part of the custody agreement.

SRH: That one is the heartbreaker? I’m right here, lady.

It really is sad because they are going to want to get under the covers with me at night and be all up in my space. You are much happier with dog breath on you under the covers than I ever will be. They are going to try to climb inside of me this winter.

Question 9: Do you have an ultimate vision of what this new “family system” will be?

TRH: Oh, I’ve got lots of fantasies. I imagine holidays together and family trips - with lots of friendliness and laughter. I want our children to be able to say that their parents were friends. I want us to show them that our family is still a family, even if we are not married to each other. That making this kind of decision doesn’t have to mean anger and acrimony. I imagine that - at some point - there may be other partners for each of us, and I hope that those folks will be an integrated part of a new, expanding family system. I know it will take a while to get there, but I’m hopeful.

SRH: I really want that too. I am trying my darnedest to make it a reality, but it is really hard work here at the beginning of this new family constellation. In every way it is harder than us staying married.

I know I that this is usually the question 20 on interviews, but the last half are questions you are asking me. So… Question 10: What’s next? Be as vague or as specific, as concrete or philosophical, and as near term or long term as you would like.

TRH: What’s next is exactly figuring out the above. You’re right. It is harder than staying married. This path we’ve chosen isn’t easy. So my “next” is trying to figure out - How do we do this separation and reconstituting our family while being our best selves? It’s a tall order. But I think we’re both committed to that.

And also. I’m hoping we can lean on 20+ year of love and care to help us with what’s next. We’ve worked really hard to communicate, be kind, and support each other for over 20 years, that should help. At least I sure hope so!

The other thing that is next is my remembering how to cook. It’s been A LONG time since I did much cooking, and we both know it’s not my...um...gift. But the babies gotta eat, and I gotta feed them. So cooking I will re-learn.

(Editor’s note: Tuesday is becoming the interviewer and Scott is becoming the interviewee)

TRH: Question 1: Okay. My first question for you...I have to re-learn how to cook. What skill have you totally dropped that you have to pick up again now?

SRH: Honestly? I guess prioritizing myself again. One of the reasons we drifted apart is that I lost sight of my identity and of taking care of myself. I was so consistently and constantly trying to care for you and the kids, that I kind of became a non-entity. I pushed my needs down to try and serve my family and in doing so became, well… I became nothing. You did not fall in love with a person who pushed down his needs to serve others, but that is who I turned into. I need to relearn how to be me again.

TRH: Okay. That’s a big deal. And I’m excited for you to become you again. That leads to the next question.

Question 2: What part of yourself are you hoping to rekindle? What excites YOU about becoming you?

SRH: I am honestly not sure. I think I have been ignoring myself for so long, that finding out who I am is really a surprise around every corner. The real hope is that I will rekindle some love of exercise. The problem there is that I am not sure I ever really loved exercise. Maybe I am just hoping to rekindle my willingness to exercise.

TRH: Part of what I feel concerned about is that folks will project all sorts of their stuff onto us. (That happens, you know.). Something like, “Wait a second. You guys are divorcing! What does that mean about my own marriage? I should tell you exactly what I think about your divorce because it says something about me.”

Question 3: So my question is, “”What does this mean for other people’s marriages?”

SRH: Absolutely nothing. This means nothing to anyone’s relationship other than to us and our families. Anyone who projects their own stuff onto our relationship is purely, well… projecting. If people question their relationship because of our relationship status, maybe they should be questioning their relationship for other reasons. Namely their own stuff.

I am more concerned with having to listen to people’s tales of relationship demises and getting advice from them when they are unwilling to speak to their ex. I don’t need advice from someone on how to interact with my ex when the person giving me the advise cannot be in the same room as their ex.

TRH: So that’s interesting! You seem to be getting stories about how hard people find it to tolerate their ex and I seem to be getting wistful glances and whispers of “how?” from folks who don’t want to be married anymore but can’t figure out a way to leave.

Either way, I agree. It doesn’t mean anything else for others’ marriages. It just means we have made this decision for us. No indictment, judgment, or support of others’ marriages included in that.

Question 4: Also. Were we for real? I mean, we looked SO happy in those family vacation pics! Were we just mugging for the cameras or maintaining an image? It was all just fake for social media wasn’t it? We pulled a tricksies on unsuspecting folks who thought we were happy?

SRH: It was very real. It IS very real. The good times were really good. Our adventure vacations were great and the smiles and laughter people see in the pics are genuine smiles and real laughter. Our parenting is top notch, and our partnership was unparalleled… but our partnership was also something we needed to renegotiate way earlier if we were to stay married. We worked really well as a team together and still do. We went to Little Man’s 4 HOUR cross country banquet together this weekend and laughed there as well. 4 HOUR BANQUET… who the hell has a 4 hour banquet anyway? It wasn’t the Oscars. Trim that stuff up people.

We can still parent together, and we are still a solid partnership. We just are doing it from different houses now, and we are doing it in a way that can keep much of the same strengths of what we had while building our own individual strengths.

TRH: That banquet. Not sure how I would have done it without you. So, yes, there are remaining “parenting trenches” we will be in together.

Question 5: Hey there, I...uh...noticed you’re still wearing your ring...when you gonna stop that nonsense?

SRH: I don’t know how long I will keep it on. I have gone some days without it, but it doesn’t seem quite right to not have it yet. I feel like I need to keep it on to hold the single ladies at bay.

TRH: Yeah, me neither. Wearing it some days and not wearing others.

SRH: Well, you did conveniently misplace it last week… the week you were moving out. I ended up finding it under some unmatched socks on a coffee table.

TRH: I imagine that one day it will feel okay to take off and then it will feel okay not to put it back on. It is strange after 21 years, though, probably more so for you since this is actually my 3rd ring! ;)

Speaking of strange. You’re staying the family house, which has all sorts of memories AND now has less stuff since I’ve taken some of it. That’s gotta feel weird.

Question 6: How are you planning to make the house “yours” now that I’ve moved away?

SRH: I have already rearranged the downstairs. I need to get a new chair, new rug, and I need some new big art. Your mom thinks I should draw 9 drawings and arrange them in 3 rows of 3. She’s wrong.

TRH: Look. My mom is wrong about a lot of stuff, but she might actually have a good idea there. I’m just saying. And since she’s still living in your backyard, you might want to pay her some heed.

Question 7: What’s happening with the kids? Are they living with me? With you? Are the feral out back with Mim?

SRH: 50/50. They are with you 50% of the time and are with me 50% of the time. We are not on a hard and fast schedule yet, but that is the ultimate goal. I also understand that with your work schedule the week on/week off schedule may not be completely able to be adhered to, but it is our goal.

The only person who is feral out back with Mim is Mim. Baying at the moon at all hours, rushing at the neighbors, and screaming at the squirrels. I think she has taken you moving out harder than the rest of us.

TRH: That seems likely. I’m her only kid and I’ve “left home” yet again.

So I’ve left you with the dogs, a feral retiree, and a house that can’t get decent phone reception anywhere. When I put it like that, it hardly seems fair. So, the next question...

Question 8: What petty revenge are you planning on me for taking the best years of your life?

SRH: I have already taken it…. You’ll find out… eventually. Mu-hoo, mu-hooo ha ha, mu-hoo ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. MU-HOOO HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Ahem… um. What were we talking about?

TRH: Nothing. We were talking about nothing. Carry on.

Question 9: Do you have a breakup anthem? If so, are you dancing to it right now?

SRH: Nope and nope.

TRH: That’s too bad. I like the image of you just bustin a move to some obscure song by a group I’ve never heard of. (We never matched up well musically.)

Question 10: What do you need from your friends right now? Be as general or specific as you’d like, but ask for what you need.

SRH: There are a few things.

Number 1: Treat me like you normally would. No reason to be on eggshells around me. I am not a delicate little flower. I am a goddamn adult, and I am handling this like an adult.

Number 2: Check in on me and ask how I’m doing. I might be up for chatting… I might not.

Number 3: Don’t say anything bad about the person I was married to for 21 years. I married her for a reason and that 21 years was not bad. She is still an amazing person and my friend.

That’s it. How about you? What do you need from your friends?

TRH: Yeah. I completely agree that I need people not to bad mouth you OR choose sides. No sides here. Just two adults doing their best.

I’m getting the support I need right now, I think. Lots of amazing people showing up in really important ways for me. I guess I need those friends that I haven’t reached out to not to take it personally. It’s been a very intense time these past several months and my bandwidth has been low. I’ve been cocooning in a lot of ways, and I’m not quite ready to fly out of that. But I’ll get there.

To recap:

SRH:…

There is nothing to recap today

I think we laid it all out there pretty thoroughly

Have a great week everyone

TRH: Wait! Can we ask people to send me VERY EASY (I burned green beans last week) weeknight recipes? That would help a mama out! :)

Also. Have a great week everyone.

20 Questions Tuesday: 414 - My Kickstarter

Hi there! Long time no see. Things have been hectic here at the homestead. Some things we will get into today, and some we will get into later (next week).

The big thing is that I have launched a Kickstarter for illustrating a novel that I wrote and am currently in the process of getting edited/editing. So… today’s 20 Questions are all going to be about the Kickstarter. Seriously, people… go back my Kickstarter.

Question 1: So what is the actual book about?

Easy. I wrote a novel about a street level hero who bashes evil and crime with flashlights… Mag-Lite flashlights to be specific. Anyway… he usually just deals with purse snatchers and his own pitiful rogues gallery, but he has to deal with an issue that is more than he usually has to and hijinks ensue.

Question 2: So, what is the Kickstarter for if the book is already written?

This is a story about heroes and villains, but heroes and villains are best shown in art. So the Kickstarter is to add art to the novel and cover the production costs. I want to have a different artist illustrate a scene in each chapter. There are 21 chapters so that means 21 different sequential artists. Now, those artists cannot draw their pages without having solid character designs, so (to start with) I will have 15 other artists do the character designs for 15 of the main characters. That’s a boat load of artists.

Question 3: So what is the breakdown for the $30,000 goal.

Well, without getting into the nitty gritty, for this many artists and with an already 220+ page book. So it roughly breaks down to 1/3 printing costs, a little over 1/2 artist fees, and a little under 1/6 pre-production (editors, document prep etc… ). Had to figure out some lowest common denominator stuff there.

Question 4: Do you have stretch goals planned?

Yes, but let’s not get the cart before the horse. I have a couple that could come into place, but I want to get close to the funding goal first. I will let you know the first one though. That is to change the amount of comic book pages from one per chapter to 2 page spreads for each chapter.

Question 5: What is the hardest part of this project?

Getting it funded. That is the biggest issue that is in front of me. If I can get it funded, the next biggest thing is the logistics and schedule. Coordinating over 30 artists to produce designs and pages in a timely fashion is a big ask.

Question 6: So when did you write the book.

I wrote it for NaNoWriMo 2016. I was super unhappy with the ending and had to completely rework that. And then some other things. Editing it has been difficult.

Question 7: So, do you know all the artists you are going to have in the book?

No I don’t. I started with artists that I do know… but that seemed to be mostly white dudes. So I needed to find other artists… Other artists who happen to not be white dudes. So, those are mostly the artists that I do not know on any personal level (in real life or digitally).

Question 8: So you went out of your way to get non-white male artists for this project?

It was a conscious decision. There are 2 reasons for that. 1, if I am going to pay 30+ artists for their work and I only give money to white dudes… that is an issue. 2. White dudes really have a very specific point of view. Artists of different gender and ethnicity bring different points of view to the table and I wanted the art to have radically different styles and breakdowns. If I wanted a single point of view I would do the character designs and then pay an artist to do the pages… boring.

Question 9: Is the book going to be diverse? Or just the artists?

Well… that is an interesting question. One of my editors said to me in no uncertain terms, “Hey, this thing is quite the sausage fest.” (I paraphrase for comedic effect… but only a little. The “sausage-fest” is a quote.) So, I went through the book looking at all the major characters and figured out which ones I could gender swap and which ones did not have to be caucasian. I had to switch up some characters that I had really strong points of view about and needed to rethink how they fit in the story.

Question 10: Are you happy with those changes?

It was hard at first because I thought I was woke-enough and stuff, but I clearly needed to make a concentrated effort at being more diverse. I am very happy where things have landed after the gender swap and racial diversity pass.

Question 11: So, I have heard that the editing process often requires the author to “kill their darlings” meaning that you have to take out parts of the book that you might love as the author?

Of course. There was scene where the group of good guys had to go up against a team of badguys that I made. There were six bad-guys who I really loved the descriptions and designs. It was a fun scene and was nice and action packed. It was too big for the story so I had to cut it. Cutting it hurt.

Question 12: So… you said that you launched this a bit earlier than expected. How did that happen?

Well… there are a couple of steps in the publishing a Kickstarter campaign. One of the last ones is to get the project reviewed for compliance. This is a quick check by Kickstarter to make sure the bank account I have provided and all the boxes are ticked, “i’s” are dotted, and “t’s” are crossed. I got the message that the project had been successfully reviewed and there was an “OK” button to press. The only button to press. I wanted to get the project reviewed so I could publish it on my schedule. Turns out the “OK” meant to publish and start up the Kickstarter. Sooo… I launched 6 days before I was ready. I had a pretty good first day but shit days 2 and 3.

Question 13: So how much do you need to hit every day to make your goal?

I need to average just under $800 a day for the life of the 38 day campaign to meet the goal. I am confident it can be done… I just need the peeps to find the campaign interesting and back the project.

Question 14: So, who did the art for the image of your hero on the Kickstarter page? It does not look like yours.

That is mine, it is just a photo-manipulation and digital art instead of a drawing. I haven’t done one of those in a while and it felt like a good time to break out those skills again.

After I made the compilation I threw it through some filters to unify the look of the images.

Question 15: So what are you most nervous about?

That is an easy one. There are 2 things that I am equally nervous about.

1. I am nervous about the Kickstarter not funding. I have worked terribly hard on the book and I think that adding art to it will make it an amazing book. I really want to make this thing and make it awesome. If it does not fund, I will figure out a way to publish, it just won’t be such an amazing art collection with a narrative running through it.

2. I am nervous about the Kickstarter funding. When this thing funds, I have sooooo much logistics and coordination to do. The funding is really just a beginning to the rest of the work that needs to be done. I will have scripting to do for the pages (I might outsource some of that), then I need descriptions to the character design artists. Once I have designs done, I need to potentially get them colored and then to the people doing the sequential pages. So many moving parts. I can only imagine that getting the 30+ artists coordinated will be like herding cats.

Question 16: Which artist do you know most personally and how do you know them?

That’s Bill (I also go by Will and William) Grapes. He and I met through an online comic book artist community and then met in meatspace. I have stayed at his house a few times to go to comic book conventions in Cincinnati.

Question 17: Which artist is a total fluke for you to get and how did that happen?

There are 2 artists for that. Chris Burnham is insanely busy and has more than a few irons in the fire. I know him from the online artist community as well. But he has gone on to very big and bright things since being a part of that community. Jason Masters is the second. He is based out of South Africa and he is in the middle of doing a webcomic featuring Common on the WebToons app. He is crazy busy as well.

Question 18: Why aren’t you doing your own art, you bozo?

Well… there is definitely some judgement in that question. But I really wanted to get more than my point of view and visualization of these characters. I know what my version of looks like in y head, but one of the things I love about comic books is that every artist has a different vision. I want to see other people’s versions. Plus, I feel very confident in my ability to draw characters well once. I cannot draw them the same from panel to panel.

Question 19: Is this the only book of these characters that people will ever see?

Well… There is room for a follow-up. I think If I did a follow up I would change the point of view to one of the supporting characters from this book.

Question 20: Can you share an excerpt?

Sure.

As always, I am carrying my two 6 D-Cell MagLites, Truth and Justice. These 2 Maglites are specially engraved along their aluminum bodies with their respective names. The trophy store was weirded out by the engraving request, and the aircraft aluminum wasn’t the easiest of materials to engrave, but they are my signature weapons. I don’t put them in my back holsters yet because I can’t sit in the driver’s seat while wearing them. I set them next to my helmet and face shield on the passenger seat and drive to a municipal lot that is pay to enter. I park the car and put on my custom face shield, plug in my police scanner earpiece, and put on my helmet. MagLite is ready. I jog off to the street where the Falcon stole my bad guy and look around…

There are 225 more pages of that if you want to read it.

To recap:

Aaaaaaagh I have a Kickstarter and it is not tearing up the charts

In fact, the needle has barely moved over the last few days

I need all of you to back it as soon as possible

The book is at least 225 pages of story

Come one you know you want to support my independent art.

Next week’s 20 Questions is going to be a doozy

Seriously people, share my Kickstarter and back it

I want to really make something super interesting here

And I truly do need everyone’s help on this

Seriously, back this project

Please, I’m begging you

Thanks

Have a great week

20 Questions Tuesday: 413 - Erica Schultz

Today I get the pleasure of asking comic book writer, Erica Schultz 20 Questions.  Erica is the writer for the new Xena: Warrior Princess comic book and a myriad of other books. Honestly, looking through her Comic Book DB file, she has been amazingly prolific in her creation of comic books.  She is an artist, writer, editor, publisher, co-creator of the critically acclaimed M3 comic book, etc… I personally became aware of Erica by following her on Twitter.  I had just finished the interview with Eric Palicki, and decided that I should pay some attention to the people he interacts with on social media, and Erica’s name came up in his feed pretty often.  So, I read some of her tweets and realized that I was an idiot for not having known who she was or following her on the twitters.

I would love to know more about her, so I asked if she would answer 20 of my Questions. She has graciously accepted my invitation so let’s not waste any more time. 

My previous career was as a cartographer. So I often think of stories in their spatial components. One of my favorite types of spatial story is the personal geographic story.  For example: I was born in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, and (as an Air Force brat) moved to Montgomery, Alabama on my 3rd birthday. The family moved to a suburb just the northeast of Birmingham, Alabama where I grew up. I moved up to Kent, Ohio to go to college, and followed my fiance to Columbus for grad school.  We have lived in Central Ohio since grad school. Question 1: What is your geographic story?

I was born in Teaneck, NJ (essentially the 6th suburb on New York City), a few miles off the George Washington Bridge. I went to college in Hartford, CT (University of Hartford), then came back to the area to get a job. I lived in Manhattan, Brooklyn, North NJ, and now I life in Central NJ with my husband.

New Jersey gets a bad wrap.  I think that is mainly because there are so many people in NYC and they are compelled to make fun of Hoboken and Newark. In driving through Central New Jersey I was surprised by how nice it really is. 

NJ does get a bad rap, but I think it’s because we’re filled with lots of chemical plants and swamps. It is what it is. We’d spend summers visiting our grandparents in the Bronx or Upstate NY, so you can find beauty or filth anywhere you look for it. I’ll try and be more positive, though.

Question 2: Is there something in New Jersey that you absolutely love that cannot be found elsewhere?

One thing NJ has that I love is the 24-hour diner. I’m sure other places have the typical 24-hour truck stop, but NJ has non-truck stop type diners that are open 24-hours. I spent many a late night of my youth in Louie’s Charcoal Pit drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes with Mike, the waiter from Cypress. My Best Friend and I would go there after working late nights on AP Psychology papers in high school.

Unfortunately, Louie’s closed down about two years ago and was replaced with a Walgreens. The other 24-hour diner in town (Cedar Lane Grille) also closed down several years ago. Sometimes when I go up to visit friends or family, I find the main street shops unrecognizable, but that’s life. It’s an organic ebb and flow of shops and experiences.

I definitely found that “you can’t go home again” feeling the last time I went down to where I grew up in Alabama.  There are so many things that look similar, but very few of the things I grew up with were the same. That being said, I do not get down to Alabama very much since my wife and I are an interracial couple with biracial kids so it had been about 10 years since I had been there.  It just is not that comfortable when everyone is staring at you because of your coupleship.

I’m sorry that your family faces that treatment. It’s easy to say, “Well, it’s the South,” but that garbage goes on everywhere and it’s unconscionable.

So, here comes my usual Question 3: Cake or pie? Which specific kind and why?

I don’t really have a sweet tooth. We weren’t allowed a lot of sugar as kids, so I guess my sweet taste buds never really developed. I’m not a big fan of cake, as it’s usually too sweet. I didn’t even really eat my wedding cake.

That said, if I had to choose, I’d probably say a good apple pie would suffice for me.

My mom decorated cakes as a side gig when I was growing up. I have eaten more cake than should be humanly possible, so I tend to side with pie as well.  I have definitely tended toward the pie spectrum since I eliminated gluten from my diet about 5 years ago. Gluten free baking is neither light nor fluffy.  Dense and crumbly is the norm in that baking sphere.

Question 4: Are there foods you have to avoid? If so, are they foods you wish you could have?

I do have several food allergies. I’m allergic to most fish, ginger, tree nuts, chickpeas, and beans. I’m not deathly allergic to any of them, but breaking out in hives and welts kind of puts a damper on dinner parties. Fun fact: True Texas chili has no beans in it.

I don’t drink alcohol and try to avoid foods that are cooked in alcohol. I know everyone says the alcohol burns off, but I can swear I can taste it.

I guess the only food I wish I could have is pesto. It’s usually made with pine nuts and that causes me to break out in hives. You can make it without pine nuts, but not many restaurants are making it to order, and it’s added to so many dishes that it can sometimes be difficult to avoid.

Having multiple food allergies is terrible. When my kiddos were born they both had multiple food allergies. It is very difficult to avoid multiple foods simultaneously. Most places don’t know how to service people with multiple allergies. We ended up cooking most our food because of those allergies.  Luckily both kids grew out of their respective food allergies (our youngest is still highly allergic to cats)… but now my wife and I have intolerances to different things. It is terrible.

Let’s start going in a different direction. Question 5: What was the first comic book you can remember reading?

I would read whatever my brother would bring home from the spinner racks. I specifically remember reading A Death in the Family by Starlin, Aparo, and DeCarlo and Uncanny X-Men by Claremont, Byrne, and Lee. Aside from the usual Spider-Man and such, A Death in the Family was a comic that I specifically remember reading. It was terrifying to see Jason Todd die.

Later I learned that DC editorial hadn’t decided to kill Jason, so there was a call in poll done. That seems like a kind of Milgram Experiment. Sure, it’s a fictional character, but people really wanted to see Jason dead. Yes, the Joker swung the crowbar, but everyone who called in to say, “DIE, JASON” is responsible!

A Death in the Family was a very disturbing exercise in crowdsourcing in a time when that took significantly more effort. I did love Aparo’s Batman. When I think of Batman, the first image that comes to mind is Aparo’s. Jason Todd was an annoying character, so I really think DC was “priming the pump” when they made the life or death be a poll. They wanted to kill him, but blame the fans.  Super cynical.

See, I find Damian more annoying now, even more so than Jason. He’s a smart-mouthed jerk who reminds me too much of my younger cousin, but that’s beside the point. I always thought Dick was the bravest, Jason was the boldest, Tim was the smartest, and Damian was the brashest.

I am not too keen on Damian myself. He seems a bit too much.  He is a good foil for Dick Grayson, but I too find him a bit annoying.

The first comic book I can remember reading was a Magnus: Robot Hunter issue that was in a Gold Key grab bag that the family got on some road-trip from Alabama to Florida. The family never really went on vacations, we more went to visit extended family, so I don’t remember the visits as much as I remember reading comic books in the backseat of the car. I also remember that Super Friends oversized book from the mid-70’s. Now the first comic I ever bought was a Captain America from 1979. 

Question 6: Did you have any family vacations when you were a kid?

We didn’t really have family vacations because we didn’t have a lot of money. Dad worked for the phone company, and he was striking every 2-3 years when the union contract was up, so he’d drive a cab or work construction even as mom was working full time as a nurse. Three kids need to eat. This was the late 70s/early to mid 80s. We did what we had to.

We did go to Disney World in 1989 for February break from school. It was my first time on an airplane. I remember my dad telling me to chew gum or the pressure of the plane would pop my eyeballs out of my sockets and they’d stick to the tray in front of me. That’s a very good example of my dad’s sense of humor.

Some of the “countries” in Epcot were still being worked on when we were there. I remember Figment, the purple dragon, Michael Jackson’s Captain Eo, and standing in line with a family from Ohio whose luggage was lost on their trip over. Mom was known to (and still does) talk to everyone and anyone when standing in line somewhere. I forget the ride we were waiting for.

Space Mountain was a big thing back then (I don’t know if it still is…I’ve never been back to Disney), and I remember my dad pointing to an empty aisle that was cordoned off next to the line we were waiting in and saying (I’m paraphrasing, I’m sure, in reality, it was expletive-laden) that it was for the kids who got scared so they could run out quickly. I didn’t get scared. I remember it was a fun time.

Space Mountain is the best, but it is not nearly as interesting when the lights are on. One of my friends told me of a time when the roller coaster stopped and they had to turn the lights on.  The mystique was gone for them. My family was able to make a trip to Disney when I was a kid as well, we may have been there at similar times, because the nations were still being built when we were there as well. My grandparents had a winter place in the Orlando area so we had the place to stay. Again, if we went on a trip, it was to visit family.

Question 7: What has your favorite vacation been as an adult (“Adult Vacation” sounds so icky)?

Again, we don’t take many vacations now because both my husband and I are freelancers. When you’re not working, you’re not getting paid. We did take a honeymoon, though (11 years after our wedding). We went to Block Island, Rhode Island for the week and it was really lovely. I love the beach and being near the water, so it was really beautiful. Also, it’s good to get out of your own surroundings for a bit to just be present someplace else.

Being a freelancer is a bit of a chore. The good thing is that you can go on as much vacation as you want. The bad thing is that if you are not working, you are not getting paid. My wife is a self-employed consultant of sorts, and when you are self-employed, you are always working. When you are not working, you are thinking about work that is not getting done, and when you are working you are also trying to chase the next job, because not  much is as important as the next job. It is a hard life.

Question 8: How many projects do you typically have going concurrently? 

Because I edit and consult on people’s work, as well as write, I can have several projects going on at once. Right now, I’m editing The Resurrected from Carnouche Productions, scripting two creator owned books, outlining a third, and working on pitches for several licensed properties. I’m usually scripting two to three books a month and editing or consulting on one to two books a month, so I’m pretty busy. Staying busy keeps me out of trouble.

I thought it would be something similar to that amount of projects.  I do not know anyone who does creative side freelance that is not working on at least three projects and putting together a handful of pitches simultaneously. When you work for yourself, you are always working. It honestly sounds a bit grueling. I don’t think I have the discipline to be able to work freelance. I am more than happy to have a 9 to 5 job that is relatively enjoyable. 

I can be a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to my creative endeavors, and sometimes have a difficult time walking away from a project because I know that I can tweak it just a bit more and make it ever so slightly better. Often this actually leads to me overworking something and making a mess out of something that was intrinsically better the what I over-worked. It is honestly something I have been working very hard on for a pretty good amount of time. Question 9: Do you ever feel completely “done” with a project, or do you always feel you could go back into a story and make it better?

When you’re working for a company like Marvel, DC, or Dynamite, they have specific schedules for books to go out, so your ability to tweak things ad infinitum isn’t really there. However, even if I’m working on a creator owned project, I tend to give myself deadlines so I don’t needle something into a mess.

One of the reasons why publishers want to see finished comics from someone is to prove that you followed through. Done is better than good. Personally, I prefer done AND good, but it’s better to get a draft finished than to continually tweak the same two scenes in a script.

I’m lucky where once I get an assignment, I’m pretty quick to put together a solid outline. For me, a good outline makes all the difference. The outline is my skeleton. The dialogue is the clothing. In between is the muscle and skin, but it all starts with an outline for me.

Deadlines do make it necessary to move on from one project to the next.

Question 10: Fill in the blanks. I find that I am mostly _______. Others find that I am mostly ______. (feel free to ask others if you want).

I find that I am mostly grumpy. Others find that I am mostly angry.

Or it could be written this way:
I find that I am mostly Bruce Banner. Others find that I am mostly Hulk.

I find that difficult to believe since you have been nothing but absolutely pleasant in our back and forth.

Question 11: So, have you ever Hulked out to help reinforce the reputation you feel you have acquired? If so, what did you gamma up for?

I was always a bit of a roughneck, having gotten into fights in high school and college. I’ve curbed that physical side as much as I can, and I think quitting drinking 9 years ago helped a great deal. Though I don’t go to AA meetings often, I try my best to live the program and abide by the tenets.

Because I’ve seen the worst in me, I try my best to really keep it under control (being mostly Banner), but I’ve had my blood pressure rise more than a few times recently. No specifics, obviously, but let’s just say that social media can make my eyes turn green.

Social media is both the best thing and the worst thing ever. I love the amount of connection it allows for me to directly contact people I respect and how it creates a sense of community without the need of a specific geography. I truly love that. I have some, what I would consider, strong friendships that have started with social media posts. Social media is what has allowed me to get in contact with you and for us to do this interview.

That being said, it also allows for less desirable people to congregate as well. It gives people a level of anonymity akin to them being a member of an angry mob. The ability for terrible people to gang up on people is abhorrent, and should have most people’s eyes turning green. I am fairly certain that I will get a certain level of backlash for merely being willing to interview you, but if a married, middle aged, middle class, CIS white male cannot handle backlash, who really can?

Question 12: When did you know that the comic book industry was the thing for you professionally? 

As a kid, I was always writing, drawing, designing, etc. I had wanted to be an architect, but thought I couldn’t hack the math. I was recruited by the US Navy the summer after my junior year in college, but was ultimately rejected for medical issues (does that make me Captain America?).

I had a nearly decades long career at a big New York ad agency as a copywriter and art director working on mostly pharmaceutical ads, so I was being “creative” in a sense, thinking outside the box which was situated in a bigger box.

Then I had a bad car accident in November of 2008, and I had a lot of time on my hands while I was healing from multiple injuries. I started writing a story that ultimately became M3. I didn’t know what I was going to do with that story, but it was just something I felt I had to write.

I didn’t think about M3 as a comic, or writing comics in general until I started working at a studio in New York while I was still healing from the car accident. I was out of work, and started working at the studio before I was fully healed because bills don’t wait. I’d wear my arm in a sling on the train to and from work, but work as a PhotoShop artist and animator during the day without it. We were working on the Astonishing X-Men motion comic “Gifted.” After that project, the studio head had comics work with DC and Marvel. That gave me the opportunity to see how comics were made from scripting to drawing to production to getting them out the door.

After I had a baseline of knowledge, I figured I could take some of the stories I had written throughout the years and adapt them for comics. The first one I did that with was M3 with the phenomenal artist, Vicente Alcázar. Then I just built on from there, working with other artists and putting together comics. Thus leads me to today.

That is truly an awesome story. I love that you did not immediately know that comic books were going to be a thing in your life, because that seems to be different from some of the other comic book writers that I have asked 20 Questions. The other writers and definitely the artists I have interviewed have wanted to be making comic books from when they were small children. Some have taken very circuitous routes to get there, but it was their intention from when they were children. I think this different point of view is helpful to create new stories for characters in comics. Comics need more voices and more points of view. If it is to survive as a medium, it need to diversify the stories it is telling.  

On to something different. Question 13: Do you have any superstitions or rituals? These do not need to be cliche superstitions, like black cat crossing your path (although they could be).  They also do not need to be eldritch rituals to bring forward the ancient ones. For example, when I played soccer in high school, I had a very specific “lucky” sequence and process of getting dressed and ready for a game. I considered it a “lucky” thing, but it was more like a ritual to get into the correct headspace for playing the game. Now, I am trying to build the ritual of meditation into my life to help with the jumble of thoughts that are in my head. 

When I played street hockey in high school and college, I had a specific way of taping my hands up. I also had a runic medallion that I put in my net (I was a goaltender). I have no idea where that went, but it was a silly thing I did.

As far as superstitions, yes, I’m a superstitious person. I touch wood so as to not jinx something. I have no problem with black cats, and ladders are more safety than superstition. I can’t avoid 13, as both my sister and brother in law have birthdays on the 13th of months, but I’ve been known to use white sage to cleanse a space of ill intentioned spirits.

I believe in ghosts. If you’ve ever had a pet, you’d know they see things we don’t. Just this morning, Simon (my cat) was staring beyond me at something that was imperceivable to me. Whatever it was, it held his attention and he was cautious of it. I was just oblivious, but knew enough to say, “Be good or be gone.”

Several friends of mine are avid Wiccan practitioners, so I’ll have my cards read, etc. Some people think that’s just a waste, but I think there’s something to it. Science can’t explain everything in this world (scientists just discovered the use for the appendix last year, and even that’s being discussed), so I believe in there being other forces, both good and bad, at work.

I have tried meditation, and, when it works, it works, but there are sometimes where my mind just cannot be quieted. I just try and take those moments and make them productive. I’ll write down whatever it is is going through my brain, even if it doesn’t make sense, just to ease the pressure on the valve. That usually helps.

I do agree that science cannot explain everything with the current demonstrable and replicable knowledge base that we currently have. There are too many unexplained things in the universe to credibly say that “we have it all figured out.” 

I would also like to be able to use “Be good or be gone” to greater effect in my daily life. There are more than a few interactions that I think could benefit from that kind of interaction. Actually, that brings up my next question. One of the best mottos or credos I have ever run into has been imparted to me by my mother-in-law.  One of her tenets is “Don’t let the fuckers get you down.” and those are definitely words to live by.  Question 14: Do you have any mottos/creeds to live by?

I may have to borrow your mother-in-law’s advice. Please thank her for me.

In AA there are a lot of sayings like, “Let go and let God,” “One Day at a Time,” and “Consider the Source,” that I tend to use in daily life.

One of my favorite college professors (who has since passed) once wrote in an email to me years after I graduated, “Read books. Fall in love. Dream a lot.” That’s been a motto I try to live by. My husband’s aunt, who was a take charge kinda gal, used to say, “Do what I say or get out of my way.” I tend to have that attitude when I feel projects are languishing. It’s not always conducive to teamwork, but the book’s gotta get out the door somehow.

I have enjoyed all of these mottos. The one I used to live by, prior to having kiddos, was “Funny over nice.” That one did not age well, because there needs to be more nice. Especially now, there needs to be more nice in the world. 

Question 15: I can only assume as a writer that you occasionally get writer’s block, so how do you push through that writer’s block? 

Everyone has their own remedy for writer’s block, and that’s to be expected. As writers have different methods of writing, they also have different methods of dealing with writer’s block. Many times I take a hot shower or go for a walk. Sometimes you focus so much on one thing that you can’t even see it anymore, you get snowblind. Doing something with a completely different objective helps. So going for a walk (trying not to get hit by any cars) or taking a hot shower (trying not to scald yourself and get soap in your eyes) helps.

I am in the process of editing a short novel with a friend of mine who is an editor, and there were many a time that writer’s block got in the way of my productivity. Going for a walk with soap in my eyes would have helped. 

Question 16: Are there any questions you were expecting that I have not asked yet?

Is this a trick question?

Not intended to be. I can only imagine how many times you have been asked “What’s it like to be a woman in the comic book industry?” or other vapid meaningless questions. Even when people do not want to be asked the “typical questions,” some still expect them. Sometimes when I do these 20 Questions people get snippy around Q16 or so if I have not asked them the question that they were expecting. I just like to cover my bases. 

Question 17: Who is your favorite comic book character? and what comic book character would you most want to write? If these are not the same character, why is that? 

I think if I had to pick a favorite, it’d be Rogue. I’ll admit I’m jealous that Kelly Thompson gets to write her for Mr. & Mrs. X, but I’m enjoying it, so shame on me for the jealousy.

I also love Hawkgirl and was fortunate to write a story for her with Sonny Liew. DC published 8 pages, but Sonny and I are hopeful to finish the miniseries. I’m really proud of the Daredevil annual starring Misty Knight that came out this week. Marcio Takara and Marcelo Maiolo knocked the art out of the park.

Other characters I’d like to write are Moon Knight, Captain America, Winter Soldier, Beta Ray Bill, Beast, Hellboy, Bluebird, Zatanna, Nightwing, Red Sonja…

To be honest, I want to write whatever I have the opportunity to write, whether I’m familiar with the character or not. I’ll make myself familiar with the character and find something I like about them to make the writing speak to me and (hopefully) readers.

I would pay really good money for your take on Beta Ray Bill. You hear that, Marvel? Really. Good. Money.

Now is when I get nervous in these 20 Questions. It is time to turn the tables.  Question 18: Are there any questions you want to ask me?

Sure…My car is having trouble starting. Do you think it’s the battery, the starter, or the alternator?

Anytime I have had starting issues with my car it has been the alternator.  It has rarely, if ever, been the starter, which one would think would be the problem with a car that is having issues starting just because of the name alone. Battery is easy to triage, if the car can be jumped, it is probably the battery.

We found out it was the battery. Phew!

Question 19: What are you taking from these 20 Questions that you did not bring with you? 

Is this like when you picnic on the beach, you’re supposed to take all the stuff you brought with you back home with you? You’ve asked some thoughtful questions, so I guess what my takeaway is that your aim is to have a more thought-provoking conversation rather than the typical, superficial interview. Right? Wrong?

That is the goal. While trying to cover some of the more typical stuff (what would you like to write? how did you get into comics? cake or pie? You know, the usual) I also like to get more in depth about how you are who you are. I really enjoy this format because I really feel like I get to know the person I am asking the questions more than just a more targeted interview. I do enjoy very targeted interviews, I just like the non sequiturs that this format generates. 

Question 20: What's next?  Be as vague or as specific, as concrete or philosophical, and as near term or long term as you would like.

What’s next, what’s next…well, my run on Xena goes until November. Twelve Devils Dancing’s trade paperback comes out on Halloween, with an incredible cover by legendary artist, Bill Sienkiewicz (New Mutants). I’m working on two creator-owned books with two terrific artists, Emily Pearson (The Wilds) and Liana Kangas (Where We Live), with Yissel Ayala (Clean Room) doing costume designs for those two books.

I’ll be at Keystone Comic Con (Table E1) in Philly September 14th through the 16th, and New York Comic Con (Table G22) in New York City October 4th through the 8th.

That’s about it for right now. : )

Thank you so much for taking time to answer 20 Questions.  I have really enjoyed my time with you. It is always great after these interviews are over because now, whenever I see your name, I think, “Hey, I know her.” 

Everyone should read Erica’s books (most links can be found on her website), everyone should follow her on the Twitters and the instagrams. Seriously though, everyone should seriously buy her books though. Buy her books. If you see Erica in the wild and you read this interview, remember she is more likely grumpy than how you are most likely perceiving her as angry.

To recap:
That was wonderful
Erica is wonderful
Haters gonna hate
Haters are dumb in this instance
I had to fix a leaky spigot 2 nights ago
It was 2 am and the leak disturbed some ground nesting bees
It was late and I got stung 4 times
It was awful
No one like ground bees
Ground bees are dumb as well
I accidentally ordered “scallops in a garlic sauce” instead of “garlic shrimp” from my favorite hole in the wall Chinese place
Scallops are about as dumb as ground bees
The novel is getting close to Kickstarter-able
That is scary as shit
I have 12 of 20 sequential pages accounted for
and about 15 of 24 character sketches
Daunting!
Have a great week everyone

20 Questions Tuesday: 412 - Movie Remakes... and I Got Hit by a Bus

A few weeks ago I watched 1986’s cult classic “The Highlander.”  “There can be only one” really should refer to the fact that this movie should never had sequels.  The bones of the story are really strong. The historic pieces could use some tightening, and the “modern day police procedural” could use some tightening. The actors are acting their hearts out.  Clancy Brown is magnificent as the Kurgan. The special effects are flat out terrible, and the make-up is, in all honesty, terrible… seriously flawed. Of the movies that I have seen being remade, I think the Highlander is ripe for the pickings.  

That made me ask the question “Movies: remakes‽”  Thanks this week go to Bruce, Steve, Julie, Bill, Van, Dave, and Matt.  Let’s get to the questions.

1. Best and worst remake of "7 Samurai"?
Best: The Magnificent Seven
Worst: Battle Beyond the Stars

2. Are remakes better if they are closer to the previous (well known) movie or closer to the book? Examples of each?
I can not necessarily think of specific examples that I have actually watched.  The Last Man on Earth, Omega Man, and I am Legend come to mind as potential movies to answer this question. That being said, I would say that the only true remakes are “I am Legend” and “I am Legend.”

3. Is there anything you think should be off limits - the original is so good that a remake should never be considered?
I think remaking already good movies is one of the problems.  It seemed to be more of a thing in the 90’s and early 00’s more than now.  The trend now is to revisit movies with 25/30 year old sequels.

4. Anything that deserves or really needs a remake - due to age, tech advances, poor script, bad acting, or just not a good production?
I say Highlander, as I stated above.

5. Favorite remake?
True Grit.  That was very well put together. 3:10 to Yuma is also pretty well made.  Maybe only westerns can be remade?

6. Least favorite remake?
Psycho… Vince Vaughn brought nothing of his own to that movie.  It was basically a film school exercise to copy a movie scene you liked. I think Vince thought the assignment was to copy a movie or scene you liked and then chose "movie."

7. True Grit - the new one or the old one?
New one. John Wayne is not a good actor. Come at me

8. Should the Goonies be remade?
No.  The Goonies is a an amazingly 80’s movie and needs to be an 80’s movie. If they “re-made” it, they need to completely reskin it like people “remake” the 7 Samrai. 

9. Is there any Grace to be extended for the remake of Get Carter?
Nope. That was the Michael Cain to Sylvester Stallone , right? No… no grace whatsoever.

10. Is it a "remake" of a movie, if both movies adapt the same book? (ie: The Thing From Another World vs Carpenter's The Thing.)
Those are not remakes (unless they use the same name a la “I am Legend.”) they are more like just different adaptations. 

11. Should they reboot “The Good the Bad and the Ugly?” Caveat- if your answer is yes, explain why you’re wrong.
THEY can remake whatever they want.  I think they could soft reboot it as a different name. I am not sure why anyone would want to remake/reboot such a popular franchise.

12. Is it too early to remake the Last Jedi?
There is no need to.  I am not sure why everyone is unhappy with that movie. I could go into my reasoning, but no one’s opinion on this movie seems to be movable.

Errrrrt /record scratch!

So, things took a weird turn last week and I am scrapping the last 8 movie questions and changing the topic to “I Got Hit by a Bus”

13. So, what out of the usual happened yesterday on Tuesday of last week when you were going to post this?
I got hit by one of our transit authority’s busses.  I was in a right turn lane and the bus drifted over into my lane as they were going straight through the intersection.

14. Are you okay?
I am fine. It was a low speed, light contact crash. I am fine. No injuries.  Not even any PTSD associated with seeing buses. I was tired for about a day because of the adrenaline crash and my shoulders were a little sore, but other than that, I was fine.

15. Weren’t you just pissed when it happened? Were you angry at the bus driver for hitting you?
I was frustrated by the time sink of being hit and filling out forms and such. I really feel bad for the driver of the bus, because we have all had bad days at work. The driver’s bad day ended up messing with mine.  When I have a bad day, cars are not damaged.

16. What was the most frustrating issue?
It took the police 4 hours to come out to fill out the accident report. It took them long enough that police dispatch called me back on my cell to tell me they had not forgotten about me. I was stuck on the side of the road for 4 hours waiting… this kept me from getting to the voting booth for the central Ohio special election. 

17. You got hit by a bus, did anyone have to take over your work because that is what is supposed to happen “if he gets hit by a bus…”?
Nope, I still have as much work to do, and now I have to deal with an actual insurance claim to boot.

18. Seriously? You were hit by a bus?
Yes, seriously. I had a car around me for safety reasons, but I was indeed hit by a bus. We were both going relatively slow and in the same general direction so, as “being hit by a bus” goes, it was relatively safe. That being said, the contact happened on my car where three separate car components come together (front quarter panel, front bumper, and hood) so the cost of the fix is not going to be trivial.

19. Since the bus hit you, shouldn’t their insurance be paying for it?
Welll… it should, however, from what I understand, the transit authority here is considered a “sovereign entity” which changes how insurance works. I think it is very akin to my being hit by someone without insurance. So, I have no idea how the financials will work out in the end.

20. So what’s next?
Well… waiting to get the insurance adjuster to see the minivan and get the repairs started. 

To recap:
I went on a writing retreat this weekend
One of my characters is all over the place
He’s angry one time (for no apparent reason)
He’s just plain weird another time
He’s affable another time
It really is problematic
That is what I am going to focus on now
Getting his voice consistent is task 2
Task 1 is re-working the final scenes
I unintentionally left details out
It is amazing how a new person reading something can make it better
Back to "getting hit by a bus aftermath": We are renting a 2007 minivan in the place of our 2015 minivan
It is not the greatest
Sorry the post is late, but I did get hit by a bus
Have a great week

20 Questions Tuesday: 411 - Cryptids

Trying to get back on this weekly posting horse, but this horse don’t want a rider. Today is post 411… I  gots the information, baby! Today you will get a post, and it will be a glorious post because it is about a topic that I find endlessly fascinating.

Ever since I was a little kid, I have loved the concept of cryptids and the whole idea of cryptozoology.  Bigfoot, Yeti, Nessie, Champ, Mokele-Mbembe, El Chupacabra, and bunches more. I have been reading about these concepts since I was able to read. There is tons about the paranormal that I love, but I always find myself reading about ape-men/man-apes in Asia, Borneo, the Kamchatka Plains, etc… 

Thanks this week goes to Lsig, Nadolny, Baroody (I need to email you about something, please try to remind me), Nicole, Dave Myers (I need to email you as well), Bruce, Gavin (MY BOSS!  YIKES!), Alesha, Tues and some other guy.  Lots of questioners means lots of good questions.

Let’s do this!

1. Is it true that yetis have complicated sibling relationships?
Once there was strife between a yeti and myself in a previous version of my blogging, but that has sorted itself out.

2. If you were able to hunt one, without societal repercussions or guilt, which would be the most enjoyable?
The Ghost Deer. It would basically be like deer hunting, or sleeping in a hammock in a tree.

2a. f you were able to date one, without societal repercussions or guilt, which would be the most enjoyable?
Well… that is a rough question.  I do not think many of them at all would be good to spend time with.  Okay, let’s go with Nessie.  I’d make that plesiosaur into a please-me-o-saur, if you know what I mean? Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge. A wink’s as good a nudge to a blind bat, if you know what I mean.  This kind of love was sort of covered in Shape of Water though, so it is a bit derivative. 

3. Do you believe these Cryptids are actual physical animals we have yet to discover ? or do you believe that they are manifestations of people's minds, made real? Tulpas, for lack of a better term, I guess that leave some physical/mental impression behind? and how can a person tell the difference?
He’s an interesting fact: I, for the life of me, thought the “thought form” word was a different definition of the word “torpor,” but that is because my believer podcast is Mysterious Universe and is done by two Aussies with great Aussie accents.  They must be saying “tulpa” and I am mistaking it for an Assie “torpor.”  To answer your question… sometimes they are tulpas, and it really doesn’t matter if the cryptid is a thought-form made real, because that is just as important (if not more important) of a find. 

4. Which of these is most likely to exist?
Yetis

5. Which cryptids do you think are most likely to actually be out there?
The Kraken

6.  Cryptid most likely to be discovered?
Bigfoot. 

7. Is the Skunk Ape related to Grape Ape?
Nope, the Skunk Ape is a swamp version of a Big-Foot that happens to stink a bunch.  Grape Ape is a Hanna-Barbera cartoon character.

8. Where is the jackalope love? Why isn’t the jackalope on this list? Are you agin’ jackalopes?
If I can buy a stuffed version in a Cracker Barrel store… that cryptid gets no love.

9. If Sasquatch was discovered today, what are the chances he’s a Trump supporter?
Ze-ro.  Sasquatch are like the ultimate environmentalists.  They have a zero carbon footprint and all of their habitats are LEED Certified Platinum.

10. As vast as our oceans are and so much of them unexplored, can The Meg (megalodon) or squid of kraken size be out there?
There is better possibility of a Kraken than a Megalodon (regardless of the movie releasing soon).

11. Has there been a rise in crytpid sightings that corresponds to better and better special effects in movies?
Nope, I think as technology has gotten better, people are realizing that what they thought they saw was a stick.

12. How hokey was the original zapruder (Patterson gimlin) Bigfoot film?
It was not really hokey at all. It stood the test of time for a loong time before people accepted it’s hoaxness. 

13. How would you classify cryptids for one who is not versed in the attributes of said creatures?
I would use what one of the cryptid wikis use. Humanoids, Dinosaurs and Pterosaurs, Plants, Dragons and Dragonoids, and Carnivores.

14. You studiously seem to avoid mentioning Sasquatch. Why is that?
Because the sasquatch is a revered being in some people’s religions and belief systems. The Skunk Ape, Orang Pendak, Amok, Skunk Ape, Bigfoot, and Yetis are not.

15. With how good modern photo and video manipulation is, do you think there will ever be controversial evidence of a cryptid without a corpse to physically touch?
There will have to be a body that can be forensically tested by multiple testing centers.  This is not like running across the mountain gorilla in the 1890’s.

16. It is said that the people who want paranormal things to be true the absolute most are the skeptics, it is just that their burden of proof is much higher than believers.  How do you feel about that statement?
I feel ambivalent about this statement.

17. What are the plurals for some of the cryptids, which ones are singular entities and which are a type of creature that there may be more of?
Bigfeet, Los Chupacabras? That kind of thing? Most of the cryptids, other than named lake monsters (I’m looking at you Nessie… aw yeah, Nessie, hey gurl.  Oh, and Champ as well. Sup, Champ?)

18. Why do so many cryptids have “snake” or “snake-like” associated with them?
Most do not, I think this may be a word that you hone in on to pay attention to when it comes up.

19. Did you know about the Appalachian Black Panther? There here in Ohio, yo.
It is also known as the Ghost Panther…. But I like this Appalachian Black Panther better.

20. The Kraken is sort-of the best cryptid though, right?
Of course… because squids and octopuses… they’s aliens.

To recap:
Not much to recap today
Little Man is now 15
I started this thing when he was about 18 months old
Here is the first pic I ever posted of him at 18 months old

I am getting old
That’s it for the recap
If you want to be interviewed, hit me up and I will start asking questions
Have a great week everyone

Man, it has been a while since I played in Photoshop... that felt good