Winter Storm 05

It seems that Winter Storm '05 is not as virulent as they thought it would be. Granted weathermen/persons usually predict the worst so people can be prepared, but so far I have not seen it sleeting frozen cats and dogs like I was promised. I am sure Shih-Tzu’s and Abyssinians will be pelting my roof this evening because this storm ain't over (according to the weatherfolk). Oh wait a second, I have already ranted about the weatherpeople, haven't I?

Oh well, what to rant about today? Hmmmmm.....

Ooh, I know.... no, wait, I have ranted about that as well. Ummm, work, children's tv, Discovery Channel, family presents, employee evaluations, the south, Alabama, the Amish, Mennonites, Orapred, Garfield, the Asshat, ummm.... I am pretty much out of things to rant about for the moment. That can only mean bad things...

Number 1. (I do love me a numbered list) I need an outlet for my vitriolic bile laden sarcasm. It will only come out in destructive ways, hurting the people that are sitting closest to me. Not necessarily the ones I love, just those in close proximity to me. Consider proximity to me to be like the splash zone at Sea World or the tarp zone at a Gallagher show (Sledge-o-matic 2000, that is comedic genius. "Let's see what happens when I whack this watermelon with a maul. Look it explodes into a fine pink mist of watermelon." Talentless Hack!)

Number 2. A few people depend on my blog to make them laugh, and ranting tends to be one of my better ways of "getting my humor on." My other ways rely heavily on making fun of people sooooo... See Number 1.

Number 3. These few people depending on my blog to lighten their day, can sometime complain like wounded hyenas (although, I am just guessing on that one, they do complain, I am just not sure if it is the same as a wounded hyena. I imagine it depends on the type of wound that the hyena has sustained. Thorn in the paw or some other nagging injury would get a bunch of whines, whereas a mortal wound would be more huddled up in a heap whimpering softly. I do not see many of my devoted readership {all 2 of you [there may be more (there are not anymore parentheses, brackets, or braces to choose from)]} whimpering in a corner due to my lack of ranting.) It is amazing how whiney people can be about something that is free, and you know who you people are.

Number 4. Ummm.... I just thought my list should not stop with Number 3.

Oh well.... work calls