mmmmm k

Firstly, I would like to apologize to any stay-at-home moms out there who were offended by my characterization of the 4th kind of substitute teacher. I am clearly biased due to the personal affiliation with my mom. There are many women out there who are stay-at-home moms with very fulfilling lives. They are active, happy, healthy people, with little to no time on their hands due to their busy schedules. My mom… not so active, dreadfully unhappy, fairly unhealthy (emotionally and physically), with a good bit of time on her hands due to her empty schedule full of nothingness and despair. (I make it sound worse than it is. It is my job as a blogger.) I remember a few of the subs I had who were primarily stay-at-home moms fondly. They really did not have to put up with much crap from the smartass kids, ‘cause the smartass kids didn’t mind them so much. Anyway… my goal was not to alienate stay-at-home moms, but rather to make fun of my mom. I have noble goals. Noble indeed.

Secondly, I have hit the millennium on my counter. I do not know if I should be proud, or disturbed by the traffic on my site. A whopping 1k+ of hits for this here bloggy thing, who would have thought. I hope there has been some enjoyment from reading my blatherings.

Thirdly, and most definitely the most frightening thing I have read from the news as of yet…

Once again the Simpsons have proven to be prophetic. From their description of “Treehouse of Horror XI” from November 1st, 2000
“… And our final spook comes when the Simpsons see a dolphin show at their local Marine World. Lisa feels bad for a poor dolphin Snorky. But when Lisa sets Snorky free, she unwittingly aids the cause of a dolphin revolution that threatens humanity.”

Dolphins teach their young to use tools

Yes, you read that correctly. Our existence on planet earth as the dominant species is nearing its end. Soon our aquatic masters will rise from the oceans, seas, bays, and gulfs to claim dominance over we hairless apes. If 1000+ hits on my crappy blog is not enough of an indicator that the world as we know it will be coming to an end, we now have witnessed the dawning of the Dolphinian Age. It is only a matter of time before we start to hear the screechy sonar clicks and whistles to signal the start of our kelp mining filled days. Get used to having prune hands people; our lives are going to get much wetter. In mere moments we start seeing Dolphinian technology from the wrong end of the barrel, so to speak.

It all makes sense now, I am sure it all started long ago with a cultural exchange of Dolphinian interpretive dance for food. This arrangement begat Seaworld and other such dolphin shows, but we simian fools never realized it. The whole time they are trying to communicate with us as equals, but we foolishly think they just wanted fish. What fools we have been. we have squandered any meaningful patnership by belittling their emmissaries.

Their campaign has already started. They are systematically killing the more macho belligerent monkey men to pacify us before their invasion. All I have to say is, I hope you like tuna people, it is what’s for dinner."