Ah, Romance

Okay, so here is the situation from last night. Little Man is finally asleep, and Wifey and I are cleaning up the downstairs prior to going to bed. During this cleaning fenzy (and quite the frenzy it was) I give Wifey a hug and lovingly nuzzle her neck. She pushes me away and demands, “Are you sniffing me!?!”

“Umm, no, I was breathing you in. I was lovingly nuzzling; not ‘sniffing.’”

Do you feel the love? Ah, the romance is dead. I guess this is what happens when you have been together for over a decade.

In response to a comment on the last post, “Dare I ask what the Higgly Town Heroes are?”

Well, you dared, and now weep at the sorrow you have made me sow.

Higglytown Heroes is a Playhouse Disney show that is on during the Disney Channel’s morning line-up. I believe (in EST) it comes on at 7:30 am and 8:00am… back to frikking back. A whole hour of the most insipid idiotic characters I have ever had the misfortune of watching. An hour... an hour of Hell.

The concept of the show is that these 4 kids find out that everyday people are heroes in their own right, but there are aspects of the show that just do not add up. The world that this show takes place in is one of stackable dolls. Everything in their world has no legs, and things have to hop or slide to get from one place to the next. All the characters in the show also happen to be hollow, and many times the main characters will nest themselves inside of the largest of the 4. One of the major inconsistencies that I have noticed is that quadrupeds seem to either have arms and sit up straight or have no legs at all. For example, cats, dogs, mice, and squirrels (more on squirrels later) all seem to just have their back legs fused together as the base of their doll form, while horse, cows, and other pack animals just have a base. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef!!! Or a Higglytown cow in this case. The setting of this show takes place in a place called Higglytown. Higglytown is an unassuming little village that seems to take after any small town in the good old North America (think Springfield from the Simpson’s just without the humor). Lets not get Higglytown confused with its parent city Higgly City (think Capitol City from the Simpson’s again without the humor).

The 4 kids are the main characters of the show, but they are constantly supervised by a squirrel. Yes, a squirrel. And all 4 kids’ parents are approving of this squirrel chaperone situation. 4 kids are being watched by a rodent, yes, I am sure that is a safe situation. So these 5 characters go about their daily lives and get into small conundrums where they have to be bailed out of their minor league trouble by local people, the Higglytown Heroes that show seems to be about. For example, the stupid girl in pink loses her tooth down the drain when she washes it off before she puts it under her pillow for the tooth fairy. Oh no! So they sing this little ditty about needing a hero (unfortunately not the Bonnie Tyler song) and a plumber comes out of no where and gets the stupid girl in pink’s tooth from the sink’s trap. A conversation ensues where they thank the plumber for all her help and the plumber says “No problem kids, I was just doing my job.”

EDIT --- There are many many aspects of this show that I absolutely loathe, but I am finding out that writing about my hate for this craptastic show really takes a bunch of background info, and becomes rather cumbersome, rather quickly. I have actually deleted about 2 paragraphs of vitriol spewed forth from my intense hate of the show, but really it tended to make me look even more insane than the hippo stuff…

The coup d’grace of the show though is the theme song. As I stated yesterday, the song is done by venerable alternative music performers, They Might be Giants (TMBG). TMBG have created many catchy ditties (Birdhouse for your Soul, Particle Man, etc…) and now are doing more and more work for kids. In fact, one of the CD’s that we play for Little Man’s bedtime ritual is TMBG’s, Bed, Bed, Bed. The problem with this particular band creating the theme song for this abyssimal show is that they are really good musicians and they write very catchy tunes, and now the tune seems to be on endless repeat in my head.

To recap:
Romance is dead
HigglyTown Heroes is the bane to my existence
I have made an effort to not be able to remember all 4 kids and squirrel’s name at the same time
House is coming off the market tomorrow
Here in Higglytown
We’re all fat and round
Just like our Higglytown Heroes….