My eyes... they burn...

Two big old topics going on today.

Firstly, I do not know what is going on right now allergen wise, but I am nearly out of commission. Whatever pollen is abundant in the atmosphere today in Central Ohio is kicking my ass, and kicking it old school (should that be “skool?”). I have consumed enough caffeine at the moment that an elephant would be having heart palpitations, and yet, I am still dragging ass like I just woke up. Granted, I did not sleep as much as I should have last night. I, however, do think that my body’s lack of response and lack of ability to wake up and function properly is disproportionate to the sleep debt that I incurred last night. I got over 7 hours of slumber… I should not feel like I am moving through molasses. Damn you infernal pollen, DAMN YOU TO HELL!!!!

Secondly, I am not in the real estate business, but recently I have been a close participant in the whole real estate sector of the economy. I have noticed that realtors drink alcohol like fish swim in water. Well, not exactly like fish swim in water due to the whole fins and scales thing as well as the pooping in the water thing. I am fairly sure that the real estate industrial complex would frown upon our realtor defecating in her brandy snifter. Anyway… Lord have mercy, our realtor is an absolute gem of a professional, but she takes 7 to 10 day vacations every 3 weeks, and then takes a good 3 days post vacation to detox vast quantities of liquor (she is allergic to gluten, so no beer for her) that she has ingested whilst not “on the job.”. This week she is heading to Mytrle Beach with her extended family to get rid of all the extra hard alcohol they may have on the shelves in South Carolina. Her last vacation was to Put-in-Bay, Ohio for a week of drunken revelry with her friends. Nothing says I need to drink like being stranded in the middle of Lake Erie. When she is not out drinking like a fish and actually working her business partner is out in Vegas gambling away her real estate proceeds and drinking like Frenchman*.

Oddly enough, her vacations seem to coincide with major milestones associated with our house buying and selling procedures. When we first found the house we wanted to make a bid on she was gone for 7 days to the aforementioned Put-in-Bay. We postponed that bid until she got back. When we went into contract, she went off for a long weekend in Drinktown, Michigan, or some place like that. Now that the contract on our house has fallen through, she has informed us that she is going to Myrtle Beach, SC to drink herself silly. Somehow I feel we are fueling her desire to consume alcohol.

To recap:
A pox on you Pollen… A POX ON YOU!!!!!!
The US Men’s National Team, well, more to the point, The US Men’s National C Team tied Guatemala in a World Cup Qualifier last night. It reminded me of what the US team looked like 7 years ago, and this now our C-Team. Go Go US Soccer.
Hot dogs for dinner
Our realtor is a great realtor
She is also Drinky McLush from Sloshedton, KS
I think our housing debacles tend to make her curl up in a bottle
In that sense, we are the enablers of her bad habits
My head hurts and my eyes are itchy
A pox on you Pollen… A POX ON YOU!!!!!!

* to drink like a Frenchman is basically to drink normally, but it sounds better.