But, you weren't invited

So I get this call Saturday evening. It is a call we in Casa del SRH dread every 2 weeks or so. It was a call from my parents. The big reason for not enjoying the talks with the ‘rents id our vastly different socio-political ideation. That ideation difference coupled with the relative difference in our emotional health as well. Our differring levels of denial seem to get in the way as well. My level is not even remotely on the same scale as theirs. Mine level of denial, compared to theirs is arithmetic while theirs is logarithmic. We are talking scales of magnitude here.

Anyway… the conversation is going fine. Blah Blah blah substitute teaching 2 times this week, blah blah blah Civitan’s park needs cleaned blah blah blah when do you want us up there for Thanksgiving?


Okay, let me replay this in my head.

Mom: I had to substitute teach twice this week so I was pretty tired by Friday.
Me: Uh-huh, I had 40 hours in by Thursday morning at 10, which was lucky since I had to go home then.
Mom: Those 2 days were really tiring. They are not allowing substitutes to leave until 3:30 now.
Dad: The Civitan Park needed some cleaning this weekend.
Me: Really, I seem to remember that it needed cleaning every weekend.
Mom: So when do you want us there for Thanksgiving?

Yep, that was the actual question. My brain is reeling now. I forget to turn on my filter and say the first response that comes to my head. Not so much a response as a kick to my parent’s collective gut.

Me: But you weren’t invited.

I followed up hastily but not quickly enough since the damage had already been done

Me: … but we would love to have you up, we just were not expecting you.

Okay this is a wrench in the plans. You see, one of my best friends just shelled out 700 bucks to come and visit for the long weekend. Yep 700 smackers, and he doesn’t really like my fam that much. This is not at all expected or desired. On top of G-Money dropping by for some turkey, we also have invited a good number of local people. Most of these invites have not responded definitively, as of yet, either, but if everyone says “yes” we already have a house of 10 plus 2 kids under 4 and an infant.

Me: I thought you 2 were heading to Florida for Thanksgiving
Mom: No we go to Florida for Christmas, by the way, can [Brother]* and [Brother’s Wife]* come too?
Me: We are quickly running out of room in the house for everyone to be here. We have already invited 10+ people to this meal without adding you guys or [Brother] and [Brother’s Wife] . I am sure that [Brother] and [Brother’s Wife] will want to bring the nephews, right? That means we are up to 16 plus the 2 kids under 4 and an infant. That is a bunch of folk.
Mom: Yes, but [Brother] and [Brother’s Wife] have no where else to go and they will be moving to Virginia Beach in a month so they will be packing then… sob story sob story sob story…

Well, the conversation kinda petered out near the end. Well, actually I have stopped transcribing the conversation, because by this time I was disassociating and Wifey had to take over. She seemed to be doing well with the ‘rents but later they blew through one of the boundaries that she set up. That pissed her off real good.

So that was my weekend’s fun.

Also, since the Orapred was building up in Little Man’s system, and that kind of steroid tends to make people eat a bunch I though I would list what he ate from Friday to Sunday night (his last dose was Sunday morning).

Near as I can reacall over the 3 day span:

1 ½ packs of Quaker instant oatmeal
A cereal bowl of sliced strawberries
A kid’s bowl of cereal
8 Sloppy joes, (mmmm Manwich)
2 Burger King Hamburgers
1 medium and a half sized onion rings from Burger King
1 kid’s bowl of corn
18 Tyson Chicken Beast Tenders (they are not the full size chicken fingers)
A peach fruit cup
4 heaping bowls of pasta and spaghetti sauce
And one bowl of Wendy’s chili

Last night he couldn’t get to sleep very well, it seems his belly was hurting somewhat.

To recap:

They weren’t invited
I couldn’t turn them away
My Thanksgiving will be very popular
At this rate, people will be sitting on the porch for the meal.
Twasn’t a [Little] Man, Twas an eatin’ machine

* Names withheld to protect the innocent