I gotta peeeee!

I slept wrong last night. By “wrong” I mean “not much” and “contorted beyond reason.” I am not sure what “contorted beyond reason” means, because it leaves the opening for “contorted within reason,” and I really have no idea what that means. My left arm was bent underneath my chest as I slept on my stomach last night. So, this morning when I moved my protesting elbow, sharp cracks and pops were heard by any within earshot as my bones set themselves aright.

I had the same snapping, popping, crackily issue with my right hand since it was also in an odd position when I woke up. The right hand though had fallen asleep pretty much completely, and my numb deadened fingers had some difficulty with the shower-faucet-knob-hot-cold-turney-thingies. It seems my vocabulary is also suffering today, but that is another ummm… thingy entirely. I swear my fingers were purple when I looked at them. By the time I actually had feeling in my hand again, I was halfway through the shower. That is when the excruciating tingly pain associated with a completely deadened extremity kicked in. Let me tell you, that makes the whole “wash, rinse, repeat” cycle a bit cumbersome.

I must have had my mouth open for the last part of the night as well. There was a significant portion of my pillow that was, how shall we say… “damp with sleep.” My legs somehow escaped unscathed from my wonky sleeping of last night.

On another front, the problem with the whole “drinking more water” resolution that I made public yesterday, is that I think I have the bladder of a first grader. The whole bladder thing combined with the fact that water is kind of bland as far as drink choices go and all. It consumes a good part of the day trying to get all 64 fl oz of water (1.89 L for you metric folks) in my gullet. I swear I only drank 56 fl oz of water (1.66 L for you metric folks out there), but I must have expelled at least 72 fl oz of pee (2.13 L for you metric folks out there). I swear every 30 minutes I was relieving myself of the glass I had just drank. Gotta love a resolution that makes you pee.

To recap:
My elbow is still all crackily
My wrist is still sore
I have clean hair
I hope my pillow is dry by now
I gotta pee again… already
I am sure this is not nearly the last time I will be visiting the men’s room today
In fact, I think I will probably have to go twice more before I publish this thing
Yep, I did
I feel better now though
Except I have to pee again
Stupid resolution
I forgot “Transformers: the Movie” supposedly took place in 2005
I wonder when the new one will take place