Number 1!

For a moment there, I was Number 1. I never thought I could be first in anything non-specific on Google. But it happened. This blog, this blog you are currently reading, was the Number 1 entry on one glorious afternoon for the Google search hippo enemy. I am back to the crappy-assed number 2 entry now. Some zoo in Hawaii seems to have beaten me out as the Number 1 Hippo Enemy. Some zoo gets the Number 1 spot with information about how hippos are really their own worst enemies in zoo enclosures. I ask you when is hippo on hippo crime even information?

I have never been Number 1 for any 2 word Google search before. Not even my name produces a Number 1 entry for a Google search. I was the happiest person known to man yesterday, but reality soon made its presence known. Well, except for that whole Mother Nature screwing with my sinuses thing.

I am no longer the top of the mountain looking down. I am again climbing, striving to be something greater. My brief glimpse of Internet fame left me wanting more. Page 1 of the Google searches for ignorant Alabamians, turtle rave, “making fun of someone,” and Little Debbie oatmeal cream pie just doesn’t seem to feel as nice as being the Number 1 hippo enemy.

Greatness is truly fleeting. Sure I am Number 1 and 1.5 for the search hippo no natural enemy, but that seems to be splitting hairs for a search. Too many hedges leading back to my post. Now, Hippo Enemy, that was something great! 2 fairly common words strung together culminating in my rant against hippo-kind!

To recap:
Who’s Number 1?
The Honolulu Zoo’s Hippo Page
Smug little bastards! I bet they are just living it up right now in their tropical paradise weather and Number 1 hippo enemy status
I hate them with the fire of a thousand suns
But I would love to visit their zoo, it looks nice
My breath is minty fresh
I go to the chiropractor tomorrow
Maybe it will get rid of some of my headaches