A Sorry Subsitute

Unfortunately, SRH is out of town most of today, so he won’t be able to do his normal blogging about nada, nunca, nothing. Again unfortunately, he asked me, Wifey, to guest blog, and I’ve decided to take a crack at it.

I have to admit that I can’t come up with the witty repartee that you have come to expect of my better half, so I will fall back on blogging about a series of recent conversations I have had with my women friends.

In an attempt to get to know each other better after years of being friends, we have started sharing embarrassing stories with one another. Not embarrassing in the way of shameful acts from our past, you know the I-was-young-I-was-dumb-I-needed-the-money-followed-by-sobbing kind of embarrassing. Nor are we talking of embarrassing in the way of personal anomalies and freakishness, you know the I-have-three-nipples kind of embarrassing.

Rather, our embarrassing stories are of the variety of goofiness, silliness, and the general “I bet you didn’t know that about me” type of embarrassment. For example, I recently purchased a Cyndi Lauper Greatest Hits cd that I cannot stop playing. What can I say? She Bop…

So I thought for this blog, I would share with you some of the embarrassments that I have recently admitted to my friends, in the hopes that you will respond back with your own embarrassing answers. But then I thought, “Hey wait, this is SRH’s blog, perhaps I should share some of HIS embarrassing answers…” you get my drift. Much funnier this way!

So here it goes…Answers that SRH would give if asked by a group of women friends about his embarrassing enjoyments, guilty pleasures, and general goofiness.

  • Favorite Embarrassing Movie: The kind you will watch every time it’s on TBS or TNT even though you know it’s really dumb, the acting is bad, the plot is weak, and it doesn’t stand the test of time.

Although SRH probably wouldn’t be embarrassed to answer this question by stating that he loves the movie TRON, I believe he should be embarrassed; therefore, I’m going with this for an answer. After all, this movie features both Bruce Boxleitner and Jeff Bridges in unitards wearing hockey helmets. And it doesn’t even come on TBS and TNT - we had to buy it on amazon because no one but my husband understands the appeal of the movie.

  • Song Lyric You Have Always Messed Up and Now You Can’t Sing the Song Any Other Way:

I believe that SRH and I were married for over 5 years before we had a conversation about “Kyrie Eleison” by Mr. Mister. I was sharing that the whole “kyrie eleison, christe eleison, kyrie eleison” bit was one of my favorite parts of mass as I was growing up. Therefore, I was somewhat surprised that I hated the song Kyrie Eleison by Mr. Mister. SRH looked very blank for a moment – then you could see something click for him, but he very smoothly tried to play it off. But of course, I couldn’t let it go.

Me: What did you think the words were, SRH?

SRH: mumble, mumble

Me: What? Come on, tell me.

SRH: Carry a laser.

Me: Huh? Carry a laser down the road that I must travel? Is that really how you sang it?

Of course, I was snorting with laughter by this point. The only explanation I can come up with is that SRH really likes Star Wars.

Every now and again, I’ll just sing “Carry a laser down the road that I must travel” to make myself laugh at my husband’s expense.

  • Favorite Embarrassing CD:
SRH will admit to buying the Vanilla Ice CD, but I think several million folks fell prey to that madness in the early 90’s. On a side note, SRH’s brother was a HUGE fan of Milli Vanilli. What can I say? Blame it on the Rain

  • Song that will make you dance and sing in your car, no matter how heavy the traffic:
SRH does have some great, sophisticated musical tastes; however, his Achilles heel of music is Paul McCartney’s Rocky Raccoon. Not sophisticated, not defensible, just a little goofy. I suppose the song does involve murder and the bible, so some might think it’s deep.

  • Embarrassing Piece of Star Trek Trivia that SRH knows:
Again, SRH would say that none of the Star Trek trivia that he knows is embarrassing. Fine.

However, embarrassing to us both, one of our closest friends from college dressed up as a science officer from the original series to attend a Star Trek convention. That’s probably enough embarrassment by association – although SRH does defend it by saying “She wore the little miniskirt uniform”. Probably just a fantasy on his part.

  • Fan Club SRH belongs to:

SRH is officially a “Friend of Krispy Kreme”.

While I knew he loved the donuts, I wasn’t clear just how much he was a fan until I got the fateful email from him saying, “Guess what the donut of the month is? Key Lime – I gotta try that.” In addition, the very first thing he bought for Little Man when he found out we were pregnant, was a Krispy Kreme onesie. The man is committed to his donut.

Well, that’s it for me. I have bared my husband’s soul, and now I shall go take care of my sick baby.

I’d love to hear some of your answers to these questions. And you may be sure that SRH will pay me back in full tomorrow.