My eyes

My sunglasses broke this morning, and I have very photosensitive eyes. Bright sunlight hurts me, much like a vampire. Well not like a vampire hurts me. Vampires hurt me by never acknowledging me in public. I know you can see me Nosferatu, why won’t you wave back?!?! Why?!?!? It’s the garlic, isn’t it? Well, Count, it just so happens that I like white pizzas every now and again. I can’t help it if the base of that is olive oil and garlic. It is not my fault that you are mortally weakened by the pungent bulb. (tee hee, I said, “pungent bulb”) Ahem… where was I. Oh yes, broken sunglasses.

Anyway… this morning after cleaning off and digging out Wifey’s car, I reached into my pocket to get out my sunglasses and heard a small ‘tick.”
No, not that Tick. A small ‘tick’ that could only be due to the rim of my sunglasses snapping and letting the lens fall free into my pocket. I don’t really know when exactly my eyes became the wussiest eyes on the face of the planet, but, in truth, they are. They have been this way at least since college. Yep, since college, I have put on sunglasses the moment I step out of a door into the big wide world. I kind of feel naked without them. Naked and blind. At the same time.

I know that my eyes should be able to handle the big bright world without the aid of dimming spectacles, but for some reason I have lost that ability. I also am aware of my propensity for losing and breaking sunglasses. I lose and/or break sunglasses at an alarming rate. At one point in time I used to purchase more expensive glasses, but due to my amazing ability I found that cheaper glasses made more fiscally responsible sense. Instead of the Sunglass Hut and Oakley’s, now it is Target or a grocery store and no memorable brand name. The sad thing is that the ability of the glasses to filter the UV and shade my delicate lace-like eyes is about the same.

I usually have an extra pair in my car just for this kind of “emergency.” Alas and alack, Little Man appropriated the glasses as a train table decoration about a month ago. Seeing as how I have kept my most recent pair of glasses for 8 whole months, I guess I got cocky and didn’t think I needed the extra. How wrong I was. How how wrong… Now I am snow-blind and fighting off a headache induced by the brightness of the sun and snow.

To recap:
SPOOOOOOOOON! I am not sure if anything momentous will be occurring this weekend
I really feel like I am whining just to be whiny today
That and I am lacking a certain ability to filter UV rays from my delicate delicate eyes
Shading the sun from my eyes with my hands doesn’t work that great
And people think I am saluting them
Actually, people think I do a bunch of stuff mockingly
People are rarely correct
But sometimes they are
This is one of those rare timed that they are correct
I do a bunch of stuff mockingly
Tons really
I miss The Tick Cartoon
I need to get it on DVD
Have a great weekend everyone