20 Questions Tuesday: 74 - Holiday Season Part 2

Here it is the long awaited return of the Holiday season 20 Questions Tuesday. Sure the season is mostly over, but that doesn’t mean I can’t answer questions about it.

Thanks this week go to Sassyfrass, jw, and Peefer. I came up with some questions of my own to fill out the 20.

Here we go:
1. Does the big guy give most of the gifts, or do you make it look like the parental duo ponied up for the cool gifts?
It goes about half and half for us. While we want the boy to be happy with what Santa brought him, we also want to be in his good graces presents wise.

2. Long or short needled trees?
Short and fake. Real trees are a bitch to clean up, and I have enough trouble keeping up with the typical mess of the house without adding pine needles to the mixture.

3. White or multicolored lights?
I like blue or green lights, but Wifey is all about the white lights. I think the multicolored are nice, but I just like single color strands better.

4. Which do you prefer, pine trees or palm trees?
Pine, I am not much of a beach person. I am not fond of sand getting everywhere.

5. How long do you plan to keep the Santa secret?
Until he smurfs it out. There is no reason to set a time-table for that one. Don’t get me wrong, I think he will know waaay before he lets us know that he knows. So in a way I will know that he knows before he knows that I know that he knows.

6. Egg nog with or without rum?
I like Barber’s Egg Nog without anything extra in it. That is one of the few things that I miss about Alabama.

7. Wear red and green during the season more than usual (underwear doesn't count, although socks each get a half point).
No more than usual, but green and red are kind of staples for my limited wardrobe, so that is unsurprising.

8. Battle Royale. Death match between Rudolph and Frosty. Who will win?
Rudolph. Dude the reindeer can fly and has a powered nose. Frosty is a mildly MRDD snowman reliant on a magic hat to get him to that low level of functioning. You do the math.

9. Why did everything go wrong for Clark Griswold on the days before Christmas?
He is a hopeless optimist who is oblivious to the world around him. He is a classic spend before earning American. The fact that this caught up to him just before Christmas is merely fodder for a comedic movie. What we don’t see right now is the movie “National Lampoon’s: Clark Griswald Gambling Addiction Intervention” wherein a destitute Griswald family confronts a boozing Clark about wasting the family’s finances on liquor, blackjack, and land speculation. Laugh that one up movie-goer. Clark is what you made him you fickle bastards! You laugh when the monkey dances and then walk away when things start to get real…. Ummm… I meant to type that he was a victim of bad timing.

10. How many times in succession have you watched Ralphie risk getting his eye shot out during the annual marathon run of "A Christmas Story"?
I think I have had it on in the background before for 3 straight runs, but I cannot say that I have ever watched it back to back to back.

11. What do you notice that changes in folks good and bad during the holiday season?
People are more willing to give greetings to a stranger as they go about there day. Many people are just, in general, more polite during their routines. These same people can become raving lunatics whilst shopping. Much more angst in the retail space (especially in the parking lots).

12. Do you know anyone that celebrates or has celebrated Kwanzaa besides me? (It's really a pretty neat holiday)
Sadly, you are the only person I know of who Kwaanzaa-ed it up this past year. I think people think that it is a festival holiday that has been manufactured from nothing but a disenfranchised group feeling left out in the cold. In many ways they are right, but the underlying message of Kwaanzaa is really nice. Who doesn’t want to celebrate unity, self-determination, responsibility, cooperation, purpose, creativity, and faith?

13. What the biggest difference between the holiday season and hunting season?Holiday season = red and green
Hunting season = fluorescent orange

14. I knew a girl named Noel. This is a statement, not a question. Sorry. Feel free to discuss.
That’s funny, I know a woman named Noel, I bet they aren’t the same person.

15. Why is there a tree in my house? A tree! In my house! Really, now.
Well, I assume the tree got cold and decided it was warmer inside next to the roaring fire. Sure a tree warming itself next to the fire is tantamount to a cow eating a burger, but that is also why that particular tree came in from the cold. The other trees didn’t like it due to the tree’s lack of scruples.

16. When did you stop believing in ... you know ... the image of an all-powerful bearded male God?
Really, is the holiday season the time to get all religious? There is no call for asking religiousitous questions during the holidays. Just celebrate how the Baby Jesus helped Santa find Rudolph so he could deliver toys from Wal-Mart to all the good boys and girls (the bad boys and girls get gifts from crappy old “brick and mortar” retailers… poor suckers) during the winter solstice like the rest of us by buying your way to happiness. Sheesh, you religionauts make me tired.

17. Why are there no holidays until Easter?
Ummm… President’s Day dumbass. The day we celebrate George Washington cutting down a tree to make paper on which Abe Lincoln could write the Emancipation Proclamation, thereby allowing Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, and T Roosevelt to join together and become Super Mecha-President Prime. … ah, wait, you don’t have that day up there, do you?

18. Best gift you got this year?
The gift of motivation. It was time and I needed that swift kick in the pants.

19. Have you ever had a White Christmas?
If you mean, have I ever had a purely Caucasian Christmas, then yes. I have had many of those, but I have to question why that is important, you racist bastard. If you are alluding to a Christmas where there is a nice blanket of snow covering the ground making the holiday picturesque, then no.

20. Is there anything that did not happen during the holiday season that you wished had happened?
Wow, that’s deep. Ummm… I think I would have loved a Frank Capra moment where Capt. McArmypants knocked on the door for Christmas Dinner (and not like Jacob Marly dropped by Scrooge on Christmas Eve). That would have, of course, meant that we would not have had left over prime rib though. So maybe it is good that didn’t happen.

To Recap:
Whew! Glad that one is over
It was a loose end that was just nagging at me
I am tired
I was up late last night
I am up late most nights
I consider it training for when the new baby comes around
There are a shit ton of the “I” statements in today’s recap
Five in a row, for those of you still reading
Hmmm I hear that 10,000 B.C. is about Egyptians enslaving cavemen to lead teams of mammoths in building the pyramids
How can that NOT be a mega-super-block-buster?
It has saber tooth tigers, Egyptians, mammoths, pyramids, cavemen, and big predatory land birds

Oddly enough, without the big predatory land birds, the story was just “meh”