Door Close

Well, we are back from sunny Phoenix, Arizona. It was sunny… and hot. Sweet Jeebus it was hot. Stupidly hot… and it was only May. I cannot image the oven that Arizona must be in that clay baked kiln come August. Oddly, even with all the heat and all the sun exposure, even with me swimming with Little Man daily for at least 45 minutes a day and even with my exposed legs due to my beloved shorts (DAMN YOU WORK AND YOUR LONG PANT DRESS CODE!!!!) for about an hour daily, I am still a pale blue Scotsman. I swear it is like I didn’t even go outside. We Scots were meant fer tha basement! Plaid skirts, lack of social grace, foul mouth, and pale blue = basement dweller.

The real purpose of this post is to complain about the entirely in-effectual “door close” button on elevators. So this past week involved a bunch of elevators. Well, more precisely, not a bunch of elevators (there were only 4) as much as a bunch of elevatoring. Little Man was all about the button pushing, and this always involved hitting the close door button on the elevator button panel after choosing 1, 3, or 4 pending on where we were going. What I noticed in this mish-mash of button mashery is that the close door button is a placebo of buttons. It does nothing but make the button pusher feel like they are influencing the cosmos.

Every time that Little Man pushed that button, the doors took just as long to close as the times he was not in the elevator with me and I did not press the button. I don’t even think that the buttons are ever connected to anything. Every horror/suspense/action movie where you see the frantic leading lady scantily clad/smartly attired/geared up repeatedly hitting the door close button to get away from the psycho mutant killer monster/calculating murderer/melee opponent, just know that those buttons are not what make the doors close. What makes the doors close is a time delay. Period. No amount of rapidly repetitive button pushing or constant buttonal pressure will cause those doors to close any faster than they normally do. They will close when they have been designed to close.

Conversely the “door open” buttons work like a charm.

To recap:
Phoenix was nice
The contact with the parents was nice
It was 2 days too much, but nice none-the-less
It is both good and bad to be back to the normalcy of everyday life
The Huhugam Heritage Center was rather boring to a 4.7 year old
He liked the elevator
It had 3 buttons
“1,” “2,” and “door open”
Tomorrow’s 20 Questions is all about the Sun